Youth Ministry Booster Podcast

174: Why Is Alignment So Important For Youth Ministry Success?

April 03, 2019 Youth Ministry Booster Episode 174
Youth Ministry Booster Podcast
174: Why Is Alignment So Important For Youth Ministry Success?
Chapters
Youth Ministry Booster Podcast
174: Why Is Alignment So Important For Youth Ministry Success?
Apr 03, 2019 Episode 174
Youth Ministry Booster

In episode 174 Zac, Kristen, and Will chat about the importance of alignment in leadership. An important and effective team requires the constant work of adjustment and alignment. We are going to spend the next few episodes on this invaluable topic.

Get yourself and your team together. Visit https://community.youthministrybooster.com to learn how a community of care is waiting to hear from you and stand by you.

"Good is done alone. Great is done together."

Alignment: 

  • How much of a team are you on? 
  • Who's team is it? 
  • There are lots of things that we do that aren't part of our position. 
  • We may not go to lunch and hang out, but you know I have your back. 
  • We are in this together with a glue of a shared DNA of our staff culture. 
  • "People love to be helped, people love to help and be needed." 
  • It comes full circle. We should value and invest in other members of our team. 
  • Youth ministry is a piece of the global direction fo the church. 
  • "We communicate our team value what we are willing to be a part of that doesn't have our title attached to it." 
  • Take your phones off the table during meetings. 
  • "If I can get your heart then I can get everything else I need." 
  • #SameTeam say it with me. #SameTeam
  • "The relationships are the motivation. Take time for camaraderie. Celebrate each other and together. Celebration is motivation to stay aligned for the next challenge. We don't just move from peak to peak to peak. 
  • "Alignment is a team concern and not "I hope everyone aligns with me."  
  • "I remember the moment that I was not a youth pastor but a pastor to those that were leading youth" 


Alignment comes from finding ways to humanize our team beyond the title they hold or position or for which they were hired.

3 Cs of Great Team Members:

  • Character - Quality Of You
  • Competency- Quality of Work
  • Chemistry - Quality of You Working With Us 

Support the show (http://community.youthministrybooster.com/)

Show Notes Transcript

In episode 174 Zac, Kristen, and Will chat about the importance of alignment in leadership. An important and effective team requires the constant work of adjustment and alignment. We are going to spend the next few episodes on this invaluable topic.

Get yourself and your team together. Visit https://community.youthministrybooster.com to learn how a community of care is waiting to hear from you and stand by you.

"Good is done alone. Great is done together."

Alignment: 

  • How much of a team are you on? 
  • Who's team is it? 
  • There are lots of things that we do that aren't part of our position. 
  • We may not go to lunch and hang out, but you know I have your back. 
  • We are in this together with a glue of a shared DNA of our staff culture. 
  • "People love to be helped, people love to help and be needed." 
  • It comes full circle. We should value and invest in other members of our team. 
  • Youth ministry is a piece of the global direction fo the church. 
  • "We communicate our team value what we are willing to be a part of that doesn't have our title attached to it." 
  • Take your phones off the table during meetings. 
  • "If I can get your heart then I can get everything else I need." 
  • #SameTeam say it with me. #SameTeam
  • "The relationships are the motivation. Take time for camaraderie. Celebrate each other and together. Celebration is motivation to stay aligned for the next challenge. We don't just move from peak to peak to peak. 
  • "Alignment is a team concern and not "I hope everyone aligns with me."  
  • "I remember the moment that I was not a youth pastor but a pastor to those that were leading youth" 


Alignment comes from finding ways to humanize our team beyond the title they hold or position or for which they were hired.

3 Cs of Great Team Members:

  • Character - Quality Of You
  • Competency- Quality of Work
  • Chemistry - Quality of You Working With Us 

Support the show (http://community.youthministrybooster.com/)

Speaker 1:

[inaudible]

Speaker 2:

[inaudible] welcome to episode at one 74 of the youth and she booster podcasts. We kick off our April month talking about alignment in youth ministry. No, we're not just talking about a visit to the chiropractor, although that will come up and teach her episodes this whole month. We're talking about what it means to be in perfect working order with both who you are as a leader, the team you lead and the team that you are a part of because all of those things deeply mattered to running a successful and healthy ministry and being a healthy minister. Uh, our kickoff call today is that great things are never done by one person. You can do a lot of good by yourself, but you can't do a lot of great without a team. And so, so much of ministry is getting the good to great in order as a team or as we're going to share all month in alignment. So you're going to love this conversation today. She, myself, Zach Workun Kristen Lascola from North Coast Church and we'll come be from fountain of Praise in Houston, Texas. And so we've got a little bit of left coast and a little bit of mid South and a little bit a Houston baby. So you're going to enjoy this podcast conversation. You're talking about alignment, but we want to hear from you about a community of people at euthanasia, boucher.com that are meeting on the regular in masterminds care calls and in the discussions about topics like these. So we will be venturing all month together and we'd love for you to check that out and see what we have to offer you. When it comes to setting up alignment in your ministry, it is not something that happens accidentally. Alignment is intentionality across a team and you're going to hear more about that today. So make sure to ready yourself, dial in and take good notes because there are some great things that are shared today that will be immediately beneficial for your team and in the ways in which you both lead and work alongside the rest of your group. So enjoy episode one 74 today. I'll be back at the end to fill in any gaps. Hair excited back for another fun company. The your booster talking about alignment. So this whole month is about alignment and this conversation is really helpful if you've ever worked on a church staff where you were not the only person. So hopefully that's a lot of us. We've all probably worked on different sizes of teams and different locations. But I think if there's one fundamental truth of serving on any kind of staff, whether you're bi-vocational, volunteer full time, you have other people on staff, which means you're bound to have some moments or seasons of dis alignment, an alignment out of alignment, meaning, and we're going to frame it this way, where one department ministry or Ministry leader is going in one direction and you or someone else is going in a different direction. So that today on the podcast we've got a William come be and Kristin lascola talking about what do we do when we're living out of alignment, uh, between ministries. We know that this is not a healthy condition for the long term. Uh, how do we see it? How do we name it? How do we address it? And maybe even, how do we preempt it? So, uh, k Cola, I want you to bring us in because you actually brought some written notes for us today on this, set it up a little bit more. How do you live outside of a siloed ministry? Especially in student ministry?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think, um, when we are, we kind of talking about this before and as I've been thinking about it, you know, I were apart, all of us are a part of a couple teams. You know, you have probably the team that you lead that you're in charge of and then you have like the big picture global team. Um, that probably includes you, your senior pastor, your children's Pastor, um, you know, and worship pastor, the people you go on stay exactly those people. Um, and I think there can be seasons of alignment with one or the other or hopefully both. But, um, I th I don't know, I think navigating alignment in those separate spheres for me has looked a little different. Like what my global staff needs from me in order to feel aligned versus my people that I lead. Like volunteers, interns, directors that just work in my ministry, that alignment looks differently too. So, um, you know, it's kind of like team one oh one and it has it in the name. But, um, being a team player has been huge for our ministry, our church. Um, and even on the like top down kind of thing of communicating what does it take? We even do a whole session at our church with our, um, you know, top down leadership of what does it take to be an all star here and not an all star Christian. What does it take to be an all star in our organization? And so we go through these plumb lines of what if you want to succeed at North Coast Church and be valuable to the team and valuable to the organization. The, this is kind of the playbook. Here's how you play the game. Um, and they're all biblical. They're not some random, you know, just professional things that they pulled out in nowhere. But, um, a lot of it has to do with, um, how to do conflict really well. Um, how to approach people cause that inevitable inevitably will come up. Um, how to be a team player and think of the organizational globally, not just your department. And I think that's probably the heart of most of it. Um, of seeing yourself as a small piece in a big picture in a big organization. Um, you know, because personalities, we're all going to be super different. We're not going to all get along and we're frankly not going to like each other all the time. I not best friends with on my staff. But what does it mean to be a team player and come alongside with a shared vision? Um, that is possible for harmony, you know, as, as long as we're working towards the same mission, we don't necessarily have to, um, like each other. Uh, you know, if that makes sense. But, um, yeah, I mean, and like some small examples of that I think would be all hands on deck mentality for different events. You know, I do a lot of, and not just me, our whole staff, we do a ton of stuff that has nothing to do with our direct ministries. Whether that's hosting an event, emceeing for the children's thing, I'm coming and bringing students to help them out and supporting them, brainstorming ideas for games for them or helping with set up, tear down, whatever it might be. There's tons of events that we do that aren't a part of our position. And I feel like what that does is creates this thread of comradery among the team that even though it's like, okay, yeah, maybe we're not going to like go to lunch and hang out, but you know, I have your back. Um, as far as your job and what that does, I just feel as like a contagious, um, like almost this glue kind of thing of a shared DNA of like we're in this together kind of thing because I can see beyond what my ministry needs and trickle into your ministry. Do you need students to help do hand motions with the kindergartners? Let me, let me find one for you. You know, do you need help with a logo for your new summer series? Okay, let, I'll brainstorm. Are you sermon prepping? Let's have lunch for a half hour and I'll bounce some ideas off. So where are we making ourselves valuable to our team? Um, and that comes full circle. People love to be helped but people also love to feel needed and help too.

Speaker 2:

So is that something that's part of like your, your natural rhythm of staff stuff? Do you guys talk about the like how can like does it Kristin share something other folks kind of jump in on how they can help or like how do you guys as like a, like a staff like team and culture like uh, you, cause you talked about it as, as camaraderie is almost as like kind of shared, uh, like value or the shared investment in each other. Like where does that like pop up on a, a planned basis or is it more kind of like, Hey, I overheard you say this or is it the plan or is it, is it, is it a,

Speaker 3:

yeah. I'm thinking too are like we have a Monday staff meeting and the hour and a half or so that we're talking junior high comes up. Maybe once just for me to say it was a good weekend, I had to call this kid's parents at the end. You know, like, um, our staff meeting is not about my ministry. It's not about our high school ministry. It's about the church globally. So it'll be, um, all right, what are going to do for Easter? All right, who wants to do this? He wants to do that. All right. Um, let's brainstorm some ideas. Should we have a sunrise service? Like those kinds of things. Like the meeting has nothing to do with me. And then we fill in the gaps of like, okay, well I can order this from graphics or I can come up with this or let me talk to this person about set up and Oh, I have some great ideas for decor. Let me reach out or send you some links. So it's like, what we're working on is, um, caring for the church overall. You know, we talk about individual people and how we can pray for them and help them and um, stuff like that. But our meetings like have nothing to do with me or my job or my position. And that's why there's like this distinction between leading my staff and then the global staff. But um, you know, our, our children's ministry, they don't need to know every little single detail that's going on in my junior high ministry. I don't share that. Let's talk about things that apply to everybody. Where are we going? Big Vision, big picture and how can I be a part of it? How can you be a part of it? Where do you know? Yeah, because I think sometimes you can check out like, oh, this idea doesn't affect me. It doesn't have to do with my ministry. It's not about my summer camp that I'm planning and that's all I can think about. So I'm going to check out and check my email or you know, text or something like that. But we have like a get your phone off the table policy, don't check your phone. We're here. Like, let's talk about where we're going as a big church. So sometimes I feel like youth pastors, we forget that we're a part of the global direction of the church and where can we involve ourselves and put ourselves in. Um, and through that, like opportunities will come up to like some youth pastors are vying for the main stage and wanted lead something, you know, anything gimme communion, give me this, give me that. Um, but I feel we communicate a lot of our value by, um, what we're willing to be a part of that, that doesn't necessarily have our name on it, you know?

Speaker 2:

That's good. We'll look. Where are you, what are you thinking in all of this? I mean, I know that you kind of serve in a family role, I'm kind of overseeing some different groups and stuff. So how do you maybe negotiate this for folks that are volunteering in different areas or how do you mediate this between folks or how do you think about it for things on your team?

Speaker 4:

Well, I definitely agree with a lot. Um, Christian was saying there, but I really, I really think the big takeaway from that is having those moments, the doing life with your volunteers, um, that, hey, I want to know what's going on. I definitely liked the idea of taking the phones off the table. I'm in meetings. Um, but really, and you're right, everything that's going on in one ministry doesn't have to reflect to another one. But when we have our staff meetings here at our church, it's a, the youth church and the children's church and the nursery all together. Cause I oversee all three of those. And, uh, really the first part of the meeting before we even get into what's going on in ministry and what can we, mmm. What events do we have coming up? First thing I talk about, it's like, Hey, what's going on? How's your day? What's, what? And, and I, and I understand that if I can get your heart, then I can get everything else I need. And, um, and so we do that. And then when it comes to then there are, and you're right, there's going to be a lot of times where you're just uncomfortable with people and you don't get it. I wrote these notes down cause I want to be ready. The Bible talks about let everything be done in love and so sometimes we don't want to have the uncomfortable conversation because like really what you did upset me. Like I cannot believe you booked that room and you knew I had an event that day. Like why would you go behind my, why would or why would you circumvent me? You know you have to go through me. But you went over my head to my superior to get your stuff done because you didn't want to talk to me. And so it can cause this tension and you have to be the one to say, okay God, he, you're going to have to open the door for me to talk to them. It says he gives us the desires of our heart and I think that's more than money. Sometimes it's opportunity. So the desire that I have is to be able to talk to this person that I have conflict with in a comfortable way. And then the door opened and be like, Oh man, I can't believe he did that. Yep. Because he says he'll give us the desires of our heart. And then when you do that understanding that your worst have to be peppered in love. I'm telling you this and um, I was talking to, to my buddy's Zach here and he was saying like, um, with his wife, like they have this code word right that they say when, when they realize that one person is like, I'm about to say something and it may seem hurtful, but it's, it's being said in an honest and a pure place and he's like, same team, right? Same team. Like if I say this code word, they don't understand that what I'm saying is not hurtful, but it has to be honest and we have to have that moment and maybe even have that in our meetings with our groups. Like, hey dude, look, hey our code word, same team man. When you went around me that, that really, that kind of bugged me. So can we talk about like what happened? And if we don't, it becomes like a pimple man. If you don't wash your face, it's going to get nasty. So you're going to have to, you're gonna have to keep having those bills, those washing or those cleansing moments before it gets worse.

Speaker 2:

Well, I think this is one of the things that, cause I know that for some folks listening you're like, man, that sounds great, but all we do in staff meetings or in our weekly roundups is we just go over the calendar or just the over the logistics. Like this is something you can lead out in. Even if you're not the senior leader like you, you being forthright and honest and sharing from your heart. Does it matter? I mean the higher up you get that the more it will influence the culture below that. But if you're like middle, if you're, if the youth ministry position that you're occupying is the middle of whatever like pecking order that's happening or hierarchy that's happening at your church, you leading with honesty of like, Hey, I just need to tell everybody, you know, I, I didn't do my best here or I didn't, I didn't ask the right people before this happened. I didn't make the right kind of plan like that. Kind of like leading first and honesty long enough. We'll shape the culture and invite other folks to kind of share back in with that. And I think that's, I mean again, it's, it's what you both have shared. Like if we are unwilling to be fully human with the rest of our team, then we do get siphoned off into some kind of silo or we're serving some kind of role or position man, if, if the place on church staff doesn't allow us to like try to redeem a fullness of our humanity than we have no hope for our people. If we're,

Speaker 4:

they don't. I want to say like we also got to realize sometimes there's some senior pastors that don't really, they're not going to give you a 45 minute conversation. They're not going to give you a 45 minute one on one and and being like, okay, cool. I realize what your leadership style is and I can't be mad about it. Right? Like that's the way you lead. Cool. I get it. Now I've got to find out how can I get my information to you in a way that makes sense. I worked at a place where I didn't talk to him, I had to talk to his secretary. That's cool. They'll be mad about it. Just realize that's the way they work. And then when the opportunity does come be prepared because they're, I don't know about a lot of other churches, but I had a boss that when he would say he's ready, you better have your stuff because if you don't and you have to like, okay, I gotta run back to my office and get this. Oh, your time is gone. So it's just always being prepared for when the conversation happened.

Speaker 2:

Well, and, and meeting those expectations. And so Krista, I would ask, maybe you talked about camaraderie, it, what time does camaraderie helped maybe preempt some of the things getting out of alignment because I think there is a way to like move from things kind of broken to being an aligned, but then once things start to kind of feel like we're out of the silo and we're kind of all rowing in the same direction, are there any kind of strategies you all have to maybe amp like future kind of, not conflict because conflict will happen, but you know, have them heading this way and us heading that way.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think a lot of for us is, um, you know, at our church we talk so much about like Dna and it's just like part of the DNA that you are. MMM. You're all in both feet. I mean headfirst. You're doing ministry. So I get paid to Ju do junior high specifically. I wake up thinking about that of course, and I make sure that's good. Um,

Speaker 2:

and think about it more than probably anybody else,

Speaker 3:

100% and leading that well. And I feel like our church is very much, well, if you're doing good, I'm going to leave you alone. Pretty much like go and do your thing. Um, but then when it comes to the big picture, this idea that you are a pastor of the church, um, and you know, like how well was saying a lot of that. MMM. I mean, and we know this in ministry, the relationship aspect is a lot of the motivation, you know. Um, and I think those little things of even within the relationship and then within, um, a rhythm of celebration, you know, one of our, um, leaders, you know, I said, you know, we need to make sure we're taking time to celebrate, you know, all this stuff that we're doing. If the comradery and the alignment is going to stay there, we don't just go from peak to peak to peak, you know, and climb the next mountain. I said, what, where's the motivation? Did, it's just always a moving goal. But when we accomplish these things together, that aligns us and then we celebrate them. And now that's motivation for the next alignment together. So I think staying aligned, like how well started in the beginning, it's, there's the relational component too. It's like, okay, I'm ride or die for you. I've got your back, I'll resource you all, own your problems as my own. Let's all brainstorm of how to handle this conflict, this event, this person, this, you know, we all come together to do that. But the motivation is, and then it's again, it's not like I love everyone like a best friend, but it's the relational aspect of um, personal care and attention. And, and I think as team leaders, we need to make sure we're giving that to like we were the vision casters, but by no means is that like a solo project. Like I think when we come to the table, to our team with all the answers, we're just, our version of alignment is you align with me. Like where I want to go and what I think we should do. You know, and I talked to you Zach, about the major discipline issues we're having with this group of kids right now, you know, and calling a meeting with my leaders, buying them food. Let's sit down and let's brainstorm. Tell me what you're seeing. Tell me where we need to go. If you had it all up to you, what discipline would you put in place? Like, let's share this vision and bring our hearts into alignment so that you and I always tell them, guys, I'm not a genius. Like don't look at me like Kristen. Tell us what's next. It's like, I'm just leaving and I'll make things happen because I have, you know, I can do that through my position, but I'm not the genius here. And like, we have to do this as a team. And so, um, there's so many likes, subtleties that go into that too of knowing our people really well, um, and knowing what they need from us. Um, but I, I heard this great quote, Josh Griffin Po, uh, tweeted the other day, he says, I remember the moment that I realized I was not a youth pastor, but I was a pastor, two leaders that were leading youth. And that was just like, Dang, like, um, that alignment of the people who are pouring into our students. I'm not skipping over them. And like I want to be with students. That's why we got into this. But it's like, Whoa, like what am I where me and my team at before I even think about the students. W what are you, what do you guys

Speaker 2:

think when it comes to this kind of idea of, uh, of silos or alignment? Um, why, why do you feel like you, I mean, and maybe it's because we're all speaking out of our own kind of experience. Like why do you feel like youth ministry sometimes seems to have a real tension with this? Cause I feel like this is, um, and, and talking with a bunch of different youth pastors from doing and from doing the podcasts and doing the a euthanasia booster network stuff that like, they always feel like there's like a elephant in the room or there's like this unnamed tension between them and the children's minister or the worship minister. Why does it always feel, why? Why would you gather that a lot of youth pastors feel at odds either in spoken or even more so unspoken ways with other teammates on their staff team?

Speaker 3:

Aye. I guess I can understand what they, um, mean. I mean like there, there could be, but does it go back to an instance? Like again, I feel like if, if we're always for our team. So me and the children's pastor, we've never hung out ever in real life. But the second she, we don't, we don't, it's not, I mean you say hello or nice, all that kind of stuff. Great. Great Lady. Love her. The second she needs something from me. So there's this idea of chips in the bank. Do you know what I mean? Relational chips. So if every time she needs a new Bible teacher or like a volunteer and I say, let me look at my student leadership team, let me give you a name, let me introduce you to them. And that when her volunteers don't know how to work the projector and I send my tech guy in there. So all those things, I'm earning chips with her. So when her and I have a conflict, the conflict only takes a few chips. But if I have no chips in the bank with her, those chips cost a lot. But if it's like, well I have a hundred chips because of all the tech help I gave you, all the worship help I gave you when I owned your problem as my own. When I let your, you know, road to the cross, come into my classroom with the Roman soldiers and let you do your whole thing, that's fine because now I give you, I have a hundred Kristen chips and her and her bank. So then the time when we double book a room or the time when our kids are too loud and disrupting what they're doing, I take two chips out. I still am 98 you know what I mean? So I think we have to realize we have a relational bank with everybody and, and it's on us. You are the only person who can make a deposit in that bank. So if you're feeling tension, if you're feeling what's this underlying weirdness or are we not cool? Are they mad at me for this? Or whatever. Then the question we comes to make a deposit somewhere.

Speaker 2:

So what, what happens when you have like, cause like I get that right? Like, we're, we're, we're doing the whole chip thing and we're depositing and we're ready to, when something happens to

Speaker 4:

use that, but then what are about those times that just their folk that just always have something wrong with what you're doing. Like you're, you're, you're, you're being nice. You being cordial, he smile at them, but they have something to say all the time and it may be like, hmm, I like your shoes. But the truth is they would never wear shoes like that. Like they, it's just, it's some sideways comment to be like, I'm being nice because we're at church. Like how do we handle those individuals that are on our volunteer team? Um, and you're like, hey, like I need you to be on board like your, your, I need you to not to be a body. I need you to be a warm body. Like how do we, how do we, how do we make that? How do you, how do you address that?

Speaker 3:

I Dunno. Zach, what do you think? Kicked him off your team? Listen, boom, you're gone. We're not aligning. I kicked people off for more like a moral failure. Um, you know, and I feel like the relational tension, I don't, I don't know. I, I guess that's a nice, you say hello and you're kind to that person, but there's nothing you can really do if they don't like it.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to go, I'm going to go back to what Kristen said earlier cause I think this, this, uh, since this was like one of the best things you shared today, um, you show your value by what you're willing to serve beyond your, like your title or your position. I, I think we got to give people a chance to do the same. And I think for some, for some people, like, um, mean you've, you've got a children's minister that like just probably wants to teach older people or you've got a worship pastor that wants to just be silly and play games with kids or it's youth pastors, every youth pastor, it's like, I want to preach, right? Like, oh, sorry man, that's not your title. Like you're not going to get to a lot. But what, how many youth pastors are like, man, I love the Sunday after Christmas because I get to preach. Right? Like every person on your staff has that same like secret dream where they just want to show off. Like whatever the thing is. That was like the thing that they weren't hired to do what they love to do. Like I love playing electric guitar whenever I get a chance to, I'm like the fifth best person on the B team to do it, but anytime the worship pastor like, hey man, Robert's gone do you employ lead? And I'm like, yes. And so because it was like you thought of me, right? You thought of me. And I think for so many of our teammates, like we knew that we needed to know them well enough that we could think we know what they're into. Like man, Susie, she's a great children's minister, but she loves getting happy. We'll come over to her house. She loves, opened her doors and hosting people where she doesn't have to be responsible for anything beyond that or whatever. Like it's a, it's, we've got to find ways to gift them in ways that humanize them beyond the ways in which their title they're hired are done. Uh, and I think that the same for our volunteers to like, yes, we need small group leaders. Yes we need people to drive vans. But like men, Dave

Speaker 3:

just wants to have five guys love woodworking like he does and we just have to make that concession and just figure out a way to make it work into a lesson or whatever. Like, cause there's things that like passion they love well and I think being careful of that vetting process in the beginning too. Like I mean,

Speaker 2:

okay,

Speaker 3:

getting on the team that I work with, it's like, it's not just like, oh you want to help. Sure. It's like, no, we're going to have you check it out for four weeks. We're going to see if it's a relational fit for you. There's three things. We're always looking for. Character, competency and chemistry. And you can be disqualified for any one of those things. You have a huge heart. Super. You are morally correct. Great. But we have no chemistry. My senior pastor, one time, he gave me the freedom. He's like, Kristen, if you don't like working with him, fire him. I'm like, I can't do that. It's like, yes you can. He said, you don't have chemistry. Let them go. If you don't look forward to seeing him when you go to work, you guys don't work well together. Piece out. I said, Whoa, that's rough. But like there's been people who have like volunteered for me on a whim. Like, oh, I need a driver or will you come with us to this? And it's exactly what you're saying. Nothing can ever make them happy. They were never invited back, but I had never made a commitment to them. It's like, well, you can help us out this once we check you out or kind of like feeling you out. And then it's like, it's clearly not a fit. You're negative. You're ruining the team vibe here and then they're not invited back. It's just, hey, I don't know if this is a great fit for us at the moment, you know? Um, is there another ministry? Maybe interested, but,

Speaker 4:

and you know, I think another thing is like being okay if people leave, like sometimes we'll hold on to stuff that we don't like and, and I'll, I'll say me, let, let's, let's, let's start speaking in generalities. But I've had people that I'm like, I'm a hold onto you because I need people in the room. But golly, if you leave, I'm going to be annoyed because now I've got to find somebody to fill your spot. But B, we have to get to a place where something like if you do leave, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. Like, God's going to bring me someone else and I'm not going to wig out. It's not going to be a problem. It may be an issue for our Sunday because I needed you in that spot. But that's, that's something that I think is beneficial to have that understanding that, hey, I'm going to lead with an open hand because you might leave. I can't keep you here forever. But, um, why are you here? I mean, I would love it, but if you're not working, it's okay if you leave.

Speaker 2:

Good. That's good. All right. So give us, give us everybody around the horn again. One more little tidbit. Uh, we'll, we'll keep this conversation going on all month. Um, but uh, those that are listening that are maybe feeling, feeling the tension in wanting to work through it a little bit more, uh, with people. What's a, what's a word of encouragement on the way out the door here?

Speaker 4:

I'll go first. Oh, no. You know what? Let's do ladies first. I've been doing a lot of times, oh man, look at, look at all this niceness going on here. I'm letting anyone near to know you. I must be on your team. Yeah, I'm coming out there to the coast. I would say, I said it earlier, but I want to kind of reiterate it. The three things. Number one, let everything you do be done in love. A number to do life with your team. You know, more than Sunday, do life with them. And then on three, don't be afraid of the uncomfortable conversation. That would be my last three things. And I believe that that will be a extreme blessing, uh, to you, to you and your ministry. It's a good word.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I'd say be careful who you allow on your team in the first place because that could save you some of what we're talking about. Look at that chemistry competency and character before you say yes to them. Um, I would say get out of your silo, add organizational value by your willingness to do things that are not directly, um, related to your job title or your specific ministry. Um, and I would say assess your relational chips with the people that you work with, the people you work for and the people who work for you.

Speaker 5:

Love it. Well guys, thank you so much for this conversation today and for those that are listening at home, we'll catch you back next time. Hey, wanna, thank everybody for listening to another episode that you've finished your booster podcast. If you'd like to learn more about the resource that is a community of care for youth ministers and lead youth workers, you can visit youth ministry booster.com. We'd also love to hear from you with questions, suggestions, and reviews. You can review us on Google play and Itunes, apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Here's what Southbridge youth pastor had to say. Great. Listen, and it's refreshing to have a youth podcast focus on the health of the pastor or rather than just games. No thank you friend. Thanks again so much for listening. We'd love to hear from you and we'll see you again real soon.

Speaker 6:

Tied down.