Youth Ministry Teamwork Makes The Dream Work w/ Daryn J Fox

Who is your friend that autocorrect can't figure out how to spell their name? 

Our special guest this week is Daryn Fox and she will have you in stitches! 
Join us for this week's heartfelt episode with amusing stories and Daryn's daring toilet-papering adventure and call to ministry.

Transitioning into the new role.
In this episode we discuss how to take on new roles and the wisdom that is needed to go with it. 

Daryn provides you with practical strategies for effective vision casting and the importance of constant communication within the team. 

We emphasize the role of trust in God and alignment with senior leadership, ensuring that everyone stays focused on the shared mission of guiding youth to encounter Jesus. There are practical tips for maintaining motivation and cohesion among volunteers and staff are also shared, making this a must-listen for anyone involved in ministry.

Lastly, we explore the power of diversity and inclusion in building vibrant youth ministry teams. Drawing from Daryn's humble/rural upbringing in Oolagah, Oklahoma, we highlight the need for a ministry that reflects the kingdom's diversity. 

We dive into strategies for connecting with a wide range of students, from introverted symphony kids to outgoing lacrosse players. Wrapping up with valuable insights on empowering leaders and effective follow-up strategies, this episode underscores the transformative power of community and collaboration in nurturing spiritual growth. Tune in for an episode packed with wisdom, humor, and inspiration!

Transcript

A Girl Named Daryn, A Mom Named George

Speaker 1 0:00

That is so funny A snack.

Speaker 3 0:14

Hey, we're back with another episode of the Youth Ministry Booster Podcast. Hanging out with my friend Darren, Darren.

Speaker 1 0:21

Darren, give it up for Darren, hello.

Speaker 3 0:24

The autocorrect is never going to be able to figure that out.

Speaker 1 0:27

Darren Fox, how are you friend?

Speaker 3 0:29

Man.

Speaker 1 0:29

I'm doing good. It's so great to be here in your garage studio this morning.

Speaker 3 0:34

Thank you, take a look around. Yeah, look on the refrigerator in wonder.

Speaker 1 0:38

Books, the hanging plants, the refrigerator in wonder.

Speaker 3 0:41

That's it.

Speaker 1 0:49

Well, you know, when you work from home you try to make it cozy, uh, even if it is the garage or whatever. So you know it's climate controlled. You know you gotta appreciate the ac. Yeah, we never had one of those growing up. That was like if you were rich, rich, oh, the garage fridge, oh yeah, in the garage, that's right.

Speaker 3 0:58

Well, the boys like to grab a capri sun for soccer out of the garage. No, it's good it's good it was a hand-me-down fridge, though that's always. My favorite story is that most garage fridges used to belong in the house and then they were like exiled out to the garage.

Speaker 1 1:11

Yeah, they didn't have the water spigot in it, that's right, so they'd go to the garage.

Speaker 3 1:16

You don't make ice leave. Yeah, in a few years they're going to have a lot of garage fridges that are making ice. Some of them are getting nicer. I was actually at my friend's house the other day.

Speaker 1 1:26

I go into her garage and I'm like this is the nicest garage fridge I've ever seen. It's LG.

Speaker 3 1:33

It had the water spigot? Did it have the app where you could see the cameras inside? The cameras inside is too much Like that is too much.

Speaker 1 1:38

Whenever your fridge is smarter than you.

Speaker 3 1:40

I think it's time to stop, you are out of string cheese. Yeah Well, fred, we are so glad you're here today. Uh, you've been longtime friend listener. We got to hang out at experience conference this spring Uh, one of our battle Creek friends for stuff here in the Tulsa area. But we're going to talk about youth and energy stuff today and we're going to talk about, uh, where you've come from, how things are going and some of the things that you think are key pieces to a growing ministry. But because you know them and we love them, we always ask the question where do you think Chad Chad's still gone on Chadcation?

Speaker 1 2:13

Hello Chad, hang it out buddy Wherever you are.

Speaker 3 2:17

Where do you think Chad is at Any messages you want to send him to the beyond? I don't know.

Speaker 4 2:22

That sounded really grim. He's fine, he's safe. Maybe he's sick, I don't know.

Speaker 1 2:24

That sounded really grim. He's fine.

Speaker 3 2:24

He's safe. Maybe he's sick, I don't know.

Speaker 1 2:27

That's hilarious, chad. I think right now you are at Silver Dollar City getting a turkey leg about to get in line for Thunder Nation, the powder keg. Where do Christians go on Fridays?

Speaker 3 2:42

Silver Dollar City. Okay, well, I mean Oklahoma, tulsa. Christians go to Silver Dollar City on Friday. Our Tennessee friends all go to Gatlinburg, but it makes sense he's probably there, because why fight fair prices?

Speaker 1 2:54

right, right in the middle between Tennessee, oklahoma. Right, that's it. It's there, dolly's there, you got it all.

Speaker 3 2:59

Got it all. You got everything you need. So, Chad, save a turkey leg for us and we'll see you when you get back. Well, Darren, tell the folks a little bit. Okay, so you left this earlier. So, Darren, we want to make sure and get the name right.

Speaker 1 3:13

Yes, it's spelled weird.

Speaker 3 3:14

It's spelled weird, but you said your mom's name is George.

Speaker 1 3:17

Shout out, mom, I know you're listening.

Speaker 3 3:19

Shout out mom, uh okay, just uh curious names across the family or like how is?

Youth Ministry Calling

Speaker 1 3:24

the what is the generation? What is the taxonomy? Oh, just boy names for everybody, okay we always joke like that this started because it was a man's world, you know. But like okay you know it's, it's a joke but we are several generations in so like my sister is alex, my niece is dustin scotty okay my mom is George, not Georgie, not Georgian.

Speaker 3 3:45

Not Georgina. Yeah, she's just straight up, George. So. God lover.

Speaker 1 3:50

That was a hard time. One time I was actually toilet papering. Do not advise this. But to be a youth minister you gotta fit in with the youth.

Speaker 3 3:58

That's right, you gotta play the games.

Speaker 1 4:00

You gotta have had that experience, and so I had toilet paper at a house. We got busted. The neighbor was a cop. You know he was pretty nice, but he was like this has got to shut it down right now and yeah I let my friends run. I said I'll be the sacrifice here, I'll be the lamb you go, I'll stay like take me like they're driving off and you're standing in the street.

Speaker 1 4:22

Exactly, I'm like my mom knew I was toilet papering, like i'm'm going to be fine, and so I'm. I'm sitting there talking to this cop and he's like what's your name? And I'm like Darren and he's like there's no chance, but he's just going to let it go, don't give me your fake ID.

Speaker 3 4:35

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 4:45

And then he was like, and I'm Sue. And he was so mad and he's calling that line. He answers it and he's like is this his officer, whatever. Is George there? My mom's like, yes, it's my daughter. Okay, he felt so bad for being so mean to me and I think that's honestly like my favorite memory of just how this can go, how funny it is.

Speaker 3 5:05

Yeah, gender neutral names. You know, you just never know what to expect. Well, like the Alex and the Scott, dustin and George and Darren, I mean, that is, that is a strong, strong play.

Speaker 1 5:14

It is, yeah, it comes from my dad's Marine Corps partner. His name was Darren. And so whether boy or girl. My mom was like we love guy names, so let's just do Darren. Middle name Joe Doesn't get more Southern than that.

Speaker 3 5:26

Okay, okay, wait, joe with the O-E or just the. O no, just the.

Speaker 1 5:30

O, just the J-O Darren Joe.

Speaker 3 5:32

No hyphen, though. No hyphen, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 5:34

Darren Joe Fox, I think my mom would have given me a double name if she could have. But praise the can hide the Joe, that's it, that's it.

Speaker 3 5:43

So good. Well, friend, you've been serving for the last few years over kind of midtown, midcity area for stuff, but for folks that don't know you, that want to get to know you, like of all the things in the world. Darren Joe, how did you end up doing youth ministry? Because that's one of the things we talked a little bit before. It's an interesting story, a journey, uh, especially into this role now for stuff, like of all the things you could do. I mean, again married to a doctor living in tulsa, like we have so many things you could do in tulsa, but why? Why that?

Speaker 1 6:16

yeah, yeah yeah, I think it all started uh at falls creek okay, so have you ever been there? Shout out Oklahoma.

Speaker 3 6:22

Baptist grew up there so I went as a sponsor. You just connected with 8% of Oklahoma. Yes, truly truly All of Oklahoma, that's right.

Speaker 1 6:33

Spent like 11 summers there.

Speaker 2 6:34

Yeah, straight, straight.

Speaker 1 6:36

Loved it. The opportunity, the first opportunity I had to go back and serve just as like a small group leader. I was like heck. Yes.

Speaker 1 6:43

I'm doing this, and so I went with Harbor. It's a Baptist church out of Uluga, america, and I was a sponsor for the week and they did on Thursday night, I believe they did a call to ministry and I had come to know Christ at 17. I was really, really new. I was 18, 19 years old, I think. I was two weeks shy of being 19. So I was a year into this and, um, I just was like I think they're talking to me like this called a ministry. What does it? Mean, I'm like looking over my shoulder.

Speaker 1 7:14

I'm like what do I do? And I, so I go down Cause, like you know, whenever you just you feel the Holy spirit, you hear him like it's not something that you would do on your own accord and it's like this is from the Lord. I'm doing this, I'm going down, I'm literally looking at the altar, I'm the only female there and I'm like I totally misunderstood, I totally misunderstood God. I'm like what is going on? And so I just remember going back to the student pastor I was volunteering under, being like hey, I truly feel like that was for me. What do I do as a woman in ministry, you know?

Speaker 1 7:50

And he's like well, the first place you got to go is to the word. You got to go to prayer, you got to flesh this out. Him and his wife walked me through that the whole summer and his wife was the kids minister, like pre-K curriculum, all these things, and I just remember I still did not know a lot about the Bible. She encouraged me to start serving in the nursery. You and I still did not know a lot about the Bible. She encouraged me to start serving in the nursery, you know. So I'm like learning things. I'm reading about Bible stories. I've never heard Joseph and the Code of Many Colors. I'm like what is?

Speaker 3 8:10

this and I'm like teaching it 20 minutes later.

Speaker 1 8:13

And I just remember being like yeah, like this is awesome, this was a growing moment for me, but there's got to be more than kids ministry for me and I fleshed out the calling for years and I felt like the Lord was really calling me to students and I never knew another student pastor that was a female, and so I just served man.

Speaker 1 8:31

I just served to my heart's content. I was like an unofficial intern. I ended up being a paid coordinator on staff with Harbor and then, whenever I got married and moved to Tulsa, we found a church and we just plugged in and I told the student pastor there. I said, hey, I was. I was called to student ministry. I have no idea what that looks like, but my calling is to be faithful, and so I just served faithfully for four years and one day you know, god said hey, I need you to quit your job.

Speaker 3 9:01

And my husband was a medical student. Okay, we're going in debt, we're not getting paid. You are like for those that don't know. In the medical world, doctors end up making well after a while 20 years down the road. Yeah yeah, there's money in medicine. Eventually there's a whole front end where it's like scraping by. Scraping by and if you don't have parents or a spouse to do and earn.

Speaker 1 9:22

At one point I was working three jobs just to allow him to go to school. Right, right, right, which again on the other side.

Speaker 3 9:28

people are like but no, but doctors may not quite. Yeah, we'll be there one day and it'll be nice and I will be retired.

Speaker 1 9:35

Shout out to my husband, shout out retiring at 34.

Speaker 1 9:39

Yeah, but it was hard, man. It was hard and we, you know my husband, grew up in an awesome family that really could provide for him and I kind of grew up on just like, hey, you know, single mom, and we gave what we could and I was just faithful to the Lord with what we had. And so I remember, like praying, like God, would you, would you speak to my husband in this time, like you're calling me to quit my job, to do nothing, like to make no income. What? Does this?

Speaker 1 10:10

look like and it was the hardest season that we ever walked through, but it was wild man Like the Lord showed up in so many ways.

Speaker 1 10:13

The Southwest meltdown happened while we were out of state and we came across a stranger in the parking or in the airport who gave us a check to cover this very specific amount of money, and he just walked up to my husband and was like this comes from my God account. I've been sitting here praying over you guys, you know, and we both have been missing flights. We ended up on the same plane, we were sitting next to each other and he was just like God told me to do this and you know so. Then Hayden looks at me and he's like God's going to provide for us and so I was unemployed for a few months, not looking for anything, just looking to be faithful.

Speaker 1 10:50

Uh, you know, we're responsible with what we had and God was so good, he provided every step of the way. And then one day my church just called and they were like hey, uh, there's been an opening. We want you to apply to be this hello team minister. And I was like that's not students, so I don't know if it's for me, but we'll go through the, you know.

Speaker 1 11:03

Hayden's like just go through the interview, see what you know, see what it is and like, let's go, Cause we love our church and we're like this could be from the Lord, you know, and it's, it's ministry, which is what I know I've been called to. And then, by the end of it, they offered me an associate position for the students ministry. And I was like man, so I took it. That was in June. June 12th of 2023 was my first day there Um. God's been faithful ever since man.

Leading Through Transition and Vision Casting

Speaker 3 11:29

Amazing, amazing. Well, which is one of the things we want to talk about a little bit is some of the transition stuff, because one of the things I know to be true for your story and then for some of the other uh churches and campuses connected to y'all is I mean, it's true for anybody in ministry Very few folks, unless you're planning a church, are walking into a blank slate, tabula rasa, like there is something that you are inheriting or moving through, whether you were a volunteer or an associate that got moved into a leadership position. But, like, what is some of the wisdom of the last year and the last six months of leading through transition that you would share with somebody that maybe went from being the kids minister now like kids and youth, or the volunteer that got voluntold that they're now in charge? Like, how do you, what were some of the things you've thought through? What's some of the wisdom that you would give of someone transitioning from maybe one iteration or version of leadership into more responsibility, leadership or authority?

Speaker 1 12:29

Yeah, so I got hired on as the associate, and then the following February I kind of just got a phone call in the midst of one of our craziest match seasons for medical students, and I just you know, they were like, okay, you're going to be the student pastor now. And I was like what in the world?

Speaker 1 12:46

do I do, and I think, really, if you're going to lead through a transition, it comes with leading up and it comes with vision casting and it comes with communicating, but it also comes with trust in God, just knowing that you are the person for this appointed time, right Like he knows where we're going to be, he's carved out our path for us, and it just comes with all right, god, like if this is what you have for me, I'm going to lean into this. You know I'm going to sit in the chair that you have for me, and so I would encourage anybody that's going through a time of transition really trust God. The next person you trust is whoever's above you your senior pastor, your campus pastor whoever it is Someone maybe making that phone- call that's looking to you to say this is what we see in you, this is what we think for you.

Speaker 3 13:32

Yeah.

Speaker 1 13:32

Yeah, and it's like they have a vision for you, clearly, and they believe that you were the person for that role, and so I think it goes out of a heart of gratitude. Wow, thank you so much for trusting me with this. What do you have, like? What's your vision for this? Why did you choose me? And coming up together with like how can we?

Speaker 2 13:57

do this together.

Speaker 1 13:58

How can I stay in alignment with what our church needs and what's? Missing you know, and just figuring that, out together. So I think transitions and it's crazy, you know, especially in the Baptist world, coming in as a female in this new place like there was just opinions and diversity on how things should go, and how sweet it was to just be in the middle of that, knowing that, you know, almost 19 year old Darren got called to do this.

Speaker 2 14:20

And through years of faithfulness.

Speaker 1 14:22

God made a way and he's going to continue to make a way, and so you've just got to sit there, you've got to trust him and you've got to cast that vision right to the people around you and you've got to lead them. Well, you know, first Corinthians one 10 talks about having no division among us, right, but all of us being in a spirit of unity under God and knowing that if you can cast that vision from your senior pastor, from what God has given you, to the people around you, and do it well and get them all on board, like you can lead them through anything like truly.

Speaker 3 14:55

Say a little more about, because vision casting is a phrase that I think for some folks it resonates, but maybe it's a different levels. Like what are some of the things in moving from the associate role to the lead youth minister for that campus, like the, the lead, the youth ministry lead? Like what are some of the like? What were the things when you say vision casting? Like what were the activities or the things that you were saying and reinforcing to your folks to help establish that, reinforce that?

Speaker 1 15:23

Yeah, that's a great question. So we have a little saying at Midtown. Cro Chief Reminding Officer.

Speaker 3 15:29

Okay.

Speaker 1 15:30

So what's like on our minds? 24 seven, because this is our job. Yeah, it's not necessarily on what's we call our volunteers, dream teamers and shout out Midtown Dream Team.

Speaker 1 15:39

I'm the craziest spiritual giants on my team. I tell them, my last email I sent to them said y'all are just mean for the Lord. The devil hates to see them coming Like they are incredible, but it's just reminding them, right, like, why do we do this? We are putting up check-in, we are throwing away pizza, we are getting in the dunk tank, we are, you know, traffic wanding cars off of Lewis at 830 at night.

Speaker 3 16:08

Right.

Speaker 1 16:09

All for the means of the gospel. And so it doesn't matter who's in charge of the ministry, right? It doesn't matter. I mean, I guess it does. But I'm saying, at the end of the day, what matters is what we're here for.

Speaker 1 16:21

Yeah, and reminding them like hey, we are here so that these students can have an encounter with Jesus. You know, like you and I may see something a little bit differently, but let's get back to like, let's, let's remind ourselves of why we're here and cast that vision. You know, 77% of Christians come to faith before they're 18 years old. Like, the harvest is there.

Speaker 2 16:43

Yeah.

Speaker 1 16:44

So what are you and I going to do? What needs to happen to where we are running at the same pace into the same path? You know, just after these students?

Speaker 1 16:52

for the Lord, and so just reminding them hey, the harvest is plentiful Reminding them that these students are here for them, for the relationships that we get to do this, that God is ultimately in charge. You know, maybe in two years, maybe in six months, like somebody else is going to be in my role, but at the end of the day, you've been going to the church for 15 years. You've been serving these students for seven years. You know it's like I'm reminding them of their calling, I'm equipping the saints that this is what we get to do, and reminding them of the glory that is all the Lord's that is to come through these students, coming to know Jesus and coming to build relationships with them.

Speaker 1 17:31

Like my goal is to be insignificant, and my goal is to remind them of how important it is that they remember why we do this.

Speaker 3 17:39

Well, and I think for some folks, that leadership lesson of the way that you lead through others is the reminder um is often ironically or maybe not ironically forgotten. And then we confuse uh leadership with like, either like stage time or visibility, uh, or we confuse it with effort, like I think there's a lot of folks and this is you listening, this is not meant to be heavy handed, this is meant to be the pause, like if the sum of your ministry is what you can exert, then you've missed the chance. Like involving other people. Recruiting is a piece. I think the other is exactly what you said, which is reminder, like retention, and leadership isn't just continuing to ask, but doing the work of her mind, because I I struggle with vision casting, because that always sounds audacious when maybe the vision casting is just like man.

Speaker 3 18:29

Thank you for doing what you did tonight to create space for this to happen, like it doesn't have to be. There may not be a poster that goes on the wall, maybe if there's a good catchphrase, I guess but the idea that, like, what your leaders need to hear most from you is not just what to do, but why we did.

Speaker 1 18:47

Right and I think a lot of the time we over we like make it too big. Like analysis paralysis happens. We feel like, the vision has to be too big. It has to be huge Right, but it's like the vision is really to be faithful to God's word and to be faithful to these students.

Speaker 2 19:01

Yeah.

Speaker 1 19:01

And if we step outside of that, then we just create an avenue for, you know, comparison or sin or burnout.

Speaker 2 19:09

Right, like we are just called to remain faithful to abide.

Speaker 1 19:13

And what I love is like it's not simple you know like it's not easy to abide yeah. But it's one thing that we're called to do and it's like if we can just be faithful to that one thing and if we, as the ministers of the ministry, can remind our, our dream teamers, our volunteers, our students, our student leaders, to be faithful to that one thing, to abide, you know, think of the fruit we're going to produce.

Speaker 3 19:36

So good, Okay. So one of the things that I love you, your leadership and your campus is that it is an eclectic mix. Y'all are neighbors you drove over to record today it took you all of four minutes Because y'all are neighbors to where we're living, where we're serving, and we live at the crossroads of a lot of public schools, a lot of private schools, a lot of Christian private schools. You were sharing earlier. You have how many school districts?

Speaker 1 20:02

I have private schools, like you were sharing earlier. You have how many school districts?

Speaker 3 20:03

I have seven schools, seven schools feeding into your ministry from a variety of economic status. Educational requirement paid public like all and not just like a little paid like a lot.

Speaker 1 20:16

The most expensive school in Oklahoma.

Building Diverse Youth Ministry Teams

Speaker 3 20:20

Yeah, is feeding into your ministry, and so one of the things that you've talked about is one. Maybe it wasn't exactly how you grew up, but I mean, do you want to share a little?

Speaker 2 20:32

bit.

Speaker 3 20:35

This is the second Oolaga Oklahoma rooting. Yeah, yeah, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 20:40

Hey, that's just a. That's just a, you know, a sign of how good the ministry is there. So shout out to you know, harbor, because Brayton, who was on here a couple of weeks ago, also grew up going to that church and they care about producing leaders for the Lord and you know that's, that's their heart, and so shout out to pastor Brett if you're watching.

Speaker 3 20:59

Hey, thanks, pastor Brett. Yeah, he's awesome. Look what you've done. Look what you've done.

Speaker 1 21:04

Um, but yeah, so definitely grew up in a really, really small town.

Speaker 2 21:09

Yeah.

Speaker 1 21:09

Uh, population like 1100 between two towns going shared.

Speaker 3 21:15

Generously adding a second town.

Speaker 1 21:17

Yeah, it's like could we afford to keep the lights on if we don't combine between two towns? Probably not. You know, taxpayers are far and few between you, know. Um, but yeah. So coming from the boondocks of oklahoma, where, if you wanted to skip school, you could like go to the lake. If you wanted to ride your horse to school, you could. If you want to ride your tractor, you could, like sure wait you got your tractor line up just driving in the ag bar.

Speaker 1 21:42

Is there like was there, like john deere parking was there like was there was there like horse tie-offs so yeah, I mean there was, but I was not partaking in that but it was just wild you know, anything kind of went yeah back roads were what was fun oh, also, it was like the big city, yeah, um, but you know, there just wasn't a lot of diversity, there wasn't a lot of economic differences. You know, we were just there to be there.

Speaker 3 22:07

It's a one high school, two town like this is everybody's going.

Speaker 1 22:12

And now I'm going to schools where it's like I had I have no business being there you know, like there's no way that I would ever fit in with these monstrous athletes, these you know high school guys. You know, like it's just, it's crazy what the Lord can do.

Speaker 3 22:28

Academic, all state Academic, all state jazz stars, regent scholars yes, like first chair in the symphony. And like who are?

Speaker 2 22:36

these people? Who is the?

Speaker 1 22:37

symphony. Yeah, I did good to like get my Snapchat streak in in the ninth grade. And yeah, what is a symphony? Yeah, I did good to like get my Snapchat streak in in the ninth grade.

Speaker 2 22:43

And yeah, what is a symphony? I've never gone to one, you know so. That sounds neat. What is that yeah?

Speaker 1 22:48

these kids are amazing and I'm just blown away at. You know how vast, you know the crowd is, how different they are, all these different talents, all the different. You know strategies that come into this and it's like how blessed am I that they get to call this church their home. How blessed am I.

Speaker 3 23:07

So my question for you is in your role of leadership, in your building of a team, what are the thoughtful things? I mean? Sometimes we have youth ministries that we inherit. There are some that we've had guests on talking about strategies for outreach and connection. Like how do you better connect with these wide range of students, like we always want to serve faithfully and well? They haven't all run off or haven't fragmented yet. That's one of the things we've talked about is that sometimes ministries can become a little bit like dialed in, where it's like this church has a lot of athletic folks or this church has a lot of band folks, which is not wrong, because those people do move.

Speaker 3 23:47

Students move in herds, I mean they are they are dinosaurs. They all follow like there was a year that we had like the whole show choir. That was just like that's awesome.

Speaker 1 23:55

That was a fun year. It was really fun year. Your christmas was insane.

Speaker 3 23:58

Christmas, oh, like when we had worship nights, like the harmonies were incredible but it was just like because they are all buddies and we had a couple of folks that were really prominent in that and so that wasn't forever, but for as long as those two kids were in our ministry we just had a lot of the show choir.

Speaker 3 24:13

So like in that eclectic mix, though. How are you thinking? How are you leading? What are you doing Like? What are you doing Like? I mean, there are other folks that have a range of students, so what are you doing?

Speaker 1 24:23

What should they be doing? Whenever I first started serving at this church because I volunteered here for four years before I ever went on staff it really did look the same, like it was one student made into 40 students right, Like kind of like you said, like you had the whole show choir because you had this one and I remember in my interview I was like, yeah, that's great and all, but we got to look more like the kingdom.

Speaker 1 24:44

We got to get diverse interests, we got to get different races, we got to get different classes Like we got to get it all here.

Speaker 3 24:51

Faithful to the context you're serving.

Speaker 1 24:52

Got to be faithful to it and that was my goal and I'm like, okay, so what do we got to do differently. We got to show up for all types and we've got to make a place in this ministry for all types, Right? So if I have the lacrosse player, great, we can do that in the front yard. You better believe it you know, make it fun at a dead squid in the mix.

Speaker 1 25:12

Let's do some you know, um, but what about my introverts? What about my symphony kids? What about the students who are going to be coming late because they're coming from a private tennis lesson? You know, how are we reaching them? And so it's like if you want to attract an eclectic mix, you've got to have a sweet spot for all of them, you know. So it's like we're not just doing a basketball night, we're also going to have a whole pop-up art area where they can come where they can make their prayer boards.

Speaker 1 25:44

They can come and they can color their Nike shoes. We'll use it as decoration for the next event. They're making this place their home and, whether they're an athlete, or they're the best artists that I know, or they're a singer, singing on Wednesday nights leading their other students in worship.

Speaker 3 25:59

Using their gifts. Absolutely A chance to shine and utilize what they're good at as part of the ministry.

Speaker 1 26:05

Yeah, and a lot that like led to. That was our senior pastor talked about. Okay, we've got salvation, we've got baptism, but then beyond those two things you know, sure, they're coming on Wednesday nights to learn more about Jesus and to learn more about his word, but how else are they advancing physically Like they're crossing the bridge for salvation? They're getting baptized, right they're. They're growing and learning more about how do they use their hands to advance in their journey with Christ. How do they do it?

Speaker 1 26:32

They serve you know, and it's like they, they serve in that ministry and that ministry becomes theirs, and so how can they serve? Well, we've got student leadership team everywhere where we have a team of musicians yeah, whether it's the pianist or the vocalist. We have a kid who I had no idea he even played the electric guitar.

Speaker 4 26:50

We're throwing events for all types because we're just trying to you know we're trying to figure out. What all do we have going here?

Speaker 1 26:57

what's gonna go over? Well, we do a talent show. This kid his. His name is Nathan Way. He shows up with his electric guitar. There's probably 500 people there because we did a whole all campuses, all five Battle Creek campuses, at this talent show and he shreds.

Speaker 3 27:13

Just for everybody.

Speaker 1 27:15

I don't even know if the student has ever come on a Wednesday night, but here he is for this talent show.

Speaker 3 27:19

A chance to show.

Speaker 1 27:22

And he's shredding this guitar. And it's wild because immediately after that night we plugged him into a Wednesday night worship leader and he's so faithful and he's leading other students in worship.

Speaker 2 27:31

Just looking for the chance and his parents are coming and supporting and it's just crazy what it's done for their family.

Speaker 1 27:37

It's crazy what it's done for Nathan's walk with God, and you know, then I look over and it's like we have another student who just is the biggest introvert but the sweetest heart I've ever met in my life, and you know she was like hey, I want to serve by identifying a role for the introverts every Wednesday.

Speaker 3 27:55

So what is what is what is she? What did she identify? Cause, this is. I think this is. You have a solution here. Here you're about to help a whole lot of people, because a lot of folks just don't know what to do this was this was her solution.

Speaker 1 28:06

Her add in, and she starts showing up with a bag of just cards, like decks of cards okay and when I tell you I've never witnessed anything and they're making up games. They're making up their own games. These are not like go fish yeah like one of them's called like escape or something. It's the craziest game I ever played in my life and, like kids are, I don't know how they're becoming friends because I feel like I made enemies whenever I played and I'm like man, this is competitive but like it's, it's crossing bridges man like it's like my, my basketball queen.

Speaker 1 28:38

That goes to, you know, one of the biggest public schools in tulsa rival school yeah, our, our key club nhs president yeah are playing each other in this game, becoming best friends amazing it's wild, and so it started with a deck of cards and now it's. You know her idea and her vision and her getting her community group leaders involved has become to once monthly on sunday mornings. They're making prayer boards, they're making bracelets, they're they're turning it into like arts and crafts crafty girl hangs is what they're calling it.

Speaker 3 29:09

Wait, hold on, hold on, Hold on, hold on. I've needed a moment to break that down, crafty girl hangs.

Speaker 1 29:17

Crafty girl hangs. Okay, all right, I am not a crafty girl A little. Cghs crafty girl hangs.

Speaker 3 29:24

Okay, all right, I am not a crafty girl cghs a little cgh once monthly, you know, and it all started with a deck of cards that's for you in the back that are finding a way to brand it that's cgh1x yeah, and a lot of canva and a lot of invites involved but, I mean, this one student was like hey, you know, I love being here, but people like me aren't, aren't, you know, feeling welcome?

Speaker 1 29:42

you know, the introverts are coming in, the music's loud, there's teaching, and then there's community groups where we're forced to talk. What about a card game? What about a CGH? And I'm like what about it?

Speaker 3 29:54

Get that crafty girl hang. Yeah, that crafty girl hang.

Speaker 1 29:57

Never in a million years did I think. But man, it's crossing bridges and it's like now. The boys are jealous. Why do they get girls Crafty, girl hangs and all these things? Why don't they have a crafty?

Speaker 3 30:07

guy.

Speaker 1 30:08

Okay, dudes, what do we want to do? And they're like something probably more hype than that. And I'm like all right, and so our guy community group leaders have started a hello team for just the kids building where they're getting those guys involved and I mean they are fist bumping the heck out of these second, third, fourth graders that are coming in and they're playing.

Speaker 3 30:26

You know, like gotcha, pop a shot like all the fun stuff, just a little bro time, big big bro time they're going in and they're showing how to like be a bro to all these little bros. Yeah, and they're doing it, cause that's all the little bros want to do is be big bros.

Speaker 1 30:39

Yeah, it truly is the sweetest thing to witness, like we have this little boy that comes in and wears like a Superman cape and to watch him like fist bump, one of our seniors in high school, as they come in and it's like man, that is a ministry right there, and these students are all fun.

Speaker 3 30:56

Some heroes do wear capes.

Speaker 1 30:58

Yes, they do, in fact, they do, in fact, they do. But, man, they're all my heroes and they've all just shared and shared and shared, like how can we make this a home? And we've got a basketball goal, we've got a deck of cards, we've got students leading worship, we've got students leading a prayer team, we've got men leading little men on a hello team on a Sunday morning, and it's like they've all found their place. But it goes beyond the students too. It starts with the leaders, yeah, and what's crazy, and what blows my mind is I'm leading, like you know, these crazy important people in the world. You know, like we've got the president of be okay, we've got the director of HR, you know like just all these super important business, high level leaders, high level leaders.

Speaker 1 31:45

I'm doing good to wear jeans when.

Speaker 2 31:46

I meet with them, you know, and it's like man, but how cool.

Speaker 1 31:50

And it's like, okay, but they want to give their time to the Lord and all of us, all of us, owe the Lord. You know, it's like this free gift of salvation. I did nothing for it, you know. So let me use everything that I have to show the Lord how grateful I am and to bring others into this family right To bring others to salvation.

Speaker 2 32:08

To bring others to Jesus.

Speaker 1 32:10

And it's like whether they are the engineer who owns his own company right Making drawings of the parking lot to make it more efficient for drop off and pickup and safety and all these things like shout out to my parking lot team, you know. Or they're the nurse who knows everything and is making first aid kits for events like dodgeball and dunk night and all these things. Keep us safe.

Speaker 3 32:35

You should have it. Hey, if you don't have your first aid kit for dodgeball, you should put one.

Speaker 1 32:39

Absolutely Pro tip.

Speaker 3 32:41

Have a first aid kit for dodgeball.

Speaker 1 32:43

Identify a nurse doctor medical assistant have them get the first aid kit ready. Maybe have somebody on site.

Speaker 3 32:50

Yeah Right.

Speaker 1 32:51

But I mean no-transcript.

Speaker 3 33:21

I'd actually rather be in charge of Gaga Ball. Yeah, but truly, but truly, the.

Speaker 1 33:24

Gaga Ball hits hard.

Speaker 3 33:25

It does, it does, that's right. And it's like nine square have some nine square have the Bible.

Speaker 1 33:34

Kids are going to come to know Jesus.

Speaker 3 33:35

Listen, there's a lot of tall individuals that don't have the knees for basketball, that love a good nine square.

Speaker 1 33:41

Nine square is my biggest fear on this planet. I very rarely get it in it. Those kids annihilate me.

Speaker 2 33:46

They're like oh student pastor, right in the face man, they love it.

Speaker 1 33:49

And I honestly love it too. But it's so true Like my, one of my girls in HR is like hey, I love that you asked me to do this, but what I really want to do is help with events. And it's like do you? You never, get to use your creativeness.

Speaker 3 34:02

You're so right, you're so confined into the work thing to have the chance to stretch your legs or something else.

Speaker 1 34:07

Seriously, and it's, it's wild what can happen whenever you, you know, whenever you allow people to use their gifts that they hardly ever get to use for the Lord.

Speaker 2 34:15

Yeah, like they're.

Speaker 1 34:17

They're using this gift for the Lord.

Speaker 2 34:19

Yeah.

Speaker 1 34:20

And just one example of this wonderful lady who came in, who wanted to plan an event. Her first event was this past Wednesday night and it was the first time ever that I, as a student minister, wasn't in charge of where something goes, when something gets set up how something was going to be set up.

Speaker 3 34:35

She was on it.

Speaker 1 34:36

She where something goes when something gets set up, how something was going to be set up. She was on it, she was on it, she communicated all of it out. She got her own assistance. They were communicating everything out and I just got to like attend church with my students and 13 students came to know Christ that night.

Speaker 1 34:49

And it was like such a good reminder that one I'm not in this alone. I've got the dream team and I've got the student leaders who are finding their sweet spot, who are being reminded of the vision, who are finding their area. Right, and all I get to do is equip them and watch them just be giants, spiritual giants.

Speaker 2 35:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1 35:10

And 13 people came to know Christ.

Speaker 3 35:13

Like incredible.

Speaker 1 35:14

It's incredible and and my prayer is, like you know, there are some churches who don't see 13 salvations in a year.

Speaker 3 35:25

So, lord, may my heart never like be like okay, 13. That's the, that's the.

Speaker 1 35:27

you know like we can do better, I'm like 13 eternities look different and all I got to do is encourage dream teamers and encourage students and I think you know four or five months ago I would have said no, I have to white knuckle this.

Speaker 2 35:40

I have to do all of this, make it happen.

Speaker 1 35:47

Because I'm the person for this job and I have to make sure that everything looks perfect and it's like no. It literally says in the Bible that our job is to equip the saints for the ministry. So how can I equip the people around me who have also been called here, who've been called to serve here, who have their relationships with these students who are looking for a place, who are there before you, that may be there after you.

Speaker 3 36:03

Yes, yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1 36:05

You know, and that's my hope and prayer, that they are. And it's like. My hope and prayer is that the students make their relationship with them first and that they find their sweet spot and that they're finding where they want to serve and that our student ministry just benefits from it.

Speaker 3 36:18

Man, Well, hold that there because I want to talk about a little bit, because you have been seeing some of the fruit. And so I'll brag for you, because you are so sweet and humble. There's been exciting stuff happening in your ministry as of late, and so the two-prong thing that I want to ask about is one share a little bit of what that's looked like. I think that's always encouraging to hear stories of what God is doing. Maybe sometimes, if we don't feel like we see God working, to know where God is working.

Speaker 3 36:44

But, the other thing I want to ask you about and I think this is like the practical help for our folks that are watching or listening is, like, how are you following up those new folks For either the folks that are new to visit, to guest, to check things out, but then also the folks that are new believers and following up in the ways in which, like, 13 salvations is incredible, but like, what is the responsibility that your team takes on to help nurture and mature?

Speaker 1 37:10

with them. Yeah, that's good, that's really good. Yes, we have seen a lot of growth, Glory to God.

Effective Youth Ministry Follow-Up Strategy

Speaker 1 37:16

He's amazing. I don't think we would be seeing that growth if we weren't all finding our sweet spot and serving the Lord. And you know, whenever you do it as a team and not as a one-man show, this is what you see. And whenever you give away the things that multiple people can do and focus on what only you can do, I may be the only person that can actually get into schools between the hours of 9 and 3.

Speaker 3 37:43

That may be your positional gift. It's not maybe like a talent, it's an availability or a willingness, absolutely.

Speaker 1 37:50

It's like anybody could do it, but I'm the only one with the calendar right now. That could do it, and so, glory to God. That's what I get to do right now and because of, you know, the campus ministry that I've been able to do after equipping the saints for the ministry. Like we had 51 first time guests on Wednesday night, Okay. And two weeks ago we had 67 first time guests.

Speaker 2 38:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1 38:11

And you know follow up is a huge part of that.

Speaker 3 38:14

What does that look like?

Speaker 2 38:21

I mean, that's, I mean.

Speaker 3 38:21

I think some folks, one, would be so blessed but also so overwhelmed. And so for y'all, like what, what do you?

Speaker 1 38:24

what do you do when that happens, darren? Yeah, so, um, I I remember like crying, I'm like I'm so overwhelmed. You know, we had the past year before before I stepped into the role, for going from associate to lead student pastor. We, before I stepped into the role, going from associate to lead student pastor, we had 211 first-time guests. I think we retained six of them and I remember telling Chad shout out, chad over at.

Speaker 3 38:43

Silver Dollar City. Have fun on that ride buddy, Save that turkey leg.

Speaker 1 38:46

Telling him, though, in Nashville at the conference, I'm like dude, our follow-up strategy is non-existent.

Speaker 2 38:53

Help me Like, help me, brother, pour into me right now.

Speaker 1 38:57

And he was just spitting off facts and he was like well, what are you doing relationally? And I'm like you know I could do better but, not me. All of us as a team, right, and so I spent, you know, six weeks creating a follow-up team, and these I call them the momerations mom operations. All right, stay at home.

Speaker 3 39:18

Moms. Gonna break that down again real quick. Uh, millennial sidebar momerations, that's moms in operations or mom ops, or moms.

Speaker 1 39:26

Mom ops. I love that. That's a t-shirt right there. Yes, yes. Yeah, so the momerations the momerations. Yes, okay, all right, okay, they are.

Speaker 3 39:36

They're on the group chat too, getting it done.

Speaker 1 39:37

They're on the group chat.

Speaker 3 39:39

I've never known a mom group chat to not make something happen. They are, something happened.

Speaker 1 39:44

Man, they are the secret sauce behind this follow-up strategy. Whenever you think about it, it's like they are in the classrooms so that the teacher can teach. Yeah, teacher can teach. They're they're doing behind the scenes.

Speaker 3 39:54

It's the PTA. Like you, you took to heart.

Speaker 1 39:57

And I have the PTA president Homeroom moms.

Speaker 3 39:59

And mom ops. So she's. Oh, you hired a professional. I see she is with it.

Speaker 1 40:04

Let me tell you and I'm like man, how blessed am I to know these ladies. But they come up after Wednesday night, they come up on a Thursday afternoon and they help me. We, we have pre-scanned we have written postcards with you know our handwriting. It's like they're pre-written and we're ready to go.

Speaker 1 40:23

And they sit down and they address it to that specific student. They they pray over it, they put the postcard on it and they get it in the mail and then they take it a step further, where they take that information. So whenever we have a first time guest come in, we come in, we have a card that says we're glad you're here and we get their name, mom's name, parent email. We get their Instagram handle. If you get nothing else, get that Instagram handle.

Speaker 3 40:45

This is one of those like. This is their phone number yes, Like in so many ways, they would 10 times rather DM you than receive a text message.

Speaker 2 40:53

Let me tell you.

Speaker 3 40:58

Yeah, then receive a text message Let me tell you, and so much ministry happens from you getting a follow back, like if a student follows you back on Instagram. You've made it, you did it.

Speaker 1 41:03

You've made it New metric. That is them saying I'm allowing you to influence me.

Speaker 3 41:08

I'm allowing you to see what I see.

Speaker 1 41:11

Yeah, and, and see what I post. Yeah, Like which that's where transparency starts right, like that is like that's just a whole level of vulnerability.

Speaker 3 41:20

I'm going to try this phrase out, cause you've been using it. It's a bridge to cross. It is a bridge to cross.

Speaker 1 41:25

Yeah, it really, it really is. And it's like praise God for Instagram, because that is a tool in the ministry tool belt. And so these we're glad you're here. Cards. You know we get all this information. Belt. And so these we're glad you're here. Cards. You know we get all this information. The these mom ops team. They put it into the system so that way, next Wednesday they can automatically check in, and then I know who the first time guest was.

Speaker 1 41:45

And then we sit down and we put them in group texts with the community group leaders.

Speaker 3 41:49

Like hey, charlie loaded up.

Speaker 1 41:51

Absolutely, We've got a. We've got it in our notes app. Another like thing that's been huge is just having a copyable immediate follow-up text in my notes app you know we do. Three is for me, never be alone in a conversation with a student.

Speaker 3 42:03

Yeah, never be. You know, three is for me do do that one more time. You've been good handles, good. This. This is one of the most practical things I think for a lot of folks are like well, I don't know if I should text kids. Do whatever the policy of your church is, if you're looking for one, spit it back to them again.

Speaker 1 42:18

Yeah, so three is for me and that's really for any anything a personal conversation, a text message, um decision encouragement going to the bathroom like never.

Speaker 2 42:29

Always have another adult with you always always always.

Speaker 3 42:31

And if it could be more than three party on you know um butage the group text not just with the students, but with your co-leader, adult or youth pastor, if you're just getting blown up because you're always the plus one for a group text that's great.

Speaker 1 42:46

Yeah, it's absolutely great, because you actually get to see what's happening?

Speaker 2 42:49

And you can, coach up, you can coach up your community leaders on the response. Yeah, by the way, add this in there. Wow, that was amazing.

Speaker 1 42:58

Like, oh, you forgot to say, student cafe you know like but it just it makes us all better. It actually starts at six o'clock. Yeah, and it actually starts at six o'clock. We'll be over by eight um, but no, it's, it's been incredible, and so that's what they do. They, you know, we get in a group text and on that card we have them write what their favorite drink is.

Speaker 2 43:17

Okay. And we take that copyable text message out of our phones notes yeah.

Speaker 1 43:20

We put it in there, we changed the student name, we changed the drink and it's you know. It might say like hey, sammy, we're so glad that you joined us last night. It was great to meet you. My name is X, in the chat is Darren, minister, and your community group leader, charles. Right, and so we're automatically connecting that student with three adults that they'll know, and then we make them feel seen by saying their name by knowing their age group, saying, hey, this is the community group leader for your age group.

Speaker 1 43:46

We also saw that Dr Pepper is your favorite drink. We're going to have that for you next Wednesday. Kids get so jazzed Like they're like lemonade's going to be there, like I'm there and it's like you know prime time for me, they probably just don't have a garage fridge.

Speaker 3 44:01

So get that youth ministry garage fridge, get that hand-me-down fridge, stock it full of their favorite and mom takes care of the drinks, takes care of putting them in the system. Of course they do.

Speaker 1 44:10

Takes care of and it takes. With four of them coming together, it seriously takes an hour to put 67 kids in, get them followed up with and then me being in that group text.

Speaker 3 44:22

God bless those Fab Four. Oh man, what's their favorite drink? Get them, ladies, some Coke Zero Cherry. They deserve so much more than I could ever give them some Zero Coke, yeah Coke, zero Cherry.

Speaker 1 44:32

I'm more of a Pepsi girl myself, but I'll let it slide.

Speaker 3 44:35

It's been a great time on the show, yeah.

Speaker 1 44:38

But it's I mean, and then you're in that group text and you see what kids are responding, and so then Tuesday comes around, I can get back in that group text as the minister and say hey, I cannot wait to see you tomorrow night. Don't forget we have this drink for you, you know, and close that gap, close that gap Cross, you know. And close that gap, close that gap, cross that bridge again, you know. And so that is the key, and we are seeing retention that we've never seen before of those 67, 30 came back and it's like for a Dr Pepper.

Speaker 1 45:09

I can do that all day.

Speaker 3 45:10

Yeah, again, and that's what. The follow-up parts, these, these connective elements, the relational work is, ironically, some of the cheapest finance like this. It is not cost prohibitive, it is investing the right amount of time involving the right people, like it was not the expensive part of your ministry, like that's, and some folks will do the expensive part and then not do this heavy leverage, heavy investment work because it matters.

Speaker 1 45:37

It's so much matters so yeah, and it's like the big things matter, right, like we throw different types of events to attract different groups of people, but then the follow-up is 100% relational, because how are you going to get any of those students back in that door? You make a relationship with them and it's not you, the student minister it's several of you right.

Speaker 3 46:18

Like it's not just Minecraft, not your thing. I get it Like sports maybe you keep up with it sometimes or like quiet kids who would ever bring board games to church. That's fine. Your leadership base should, though, and that's important.

Speaker 1 46:30

Absolutely, and I mean it just comes down to you know, you want it to look like the kingdom, you want people of all different interests and you want people of all different ages. I feel, like one of the biggest mistakes youth ministers make is like saying you know, the 50 and 60 year olds don't have a place in the ministry and it's like oh, but they do.

Speaker 3 46:47

Oh, but they do Mom ops.

Speaker 1 46:49

Mom ops Right Check in, or one of the coolest guys that we have is in his late fifties and he's a skateboarder and whoever he relates to is I know nothing.

Speaker 3 47:01

I have never touched a skateboard. He's just saying things that they're like that's incredible and you're like. I don't know what he even said.

Speaker 1 47:07

It's literally like we speak a completely different language, but like students are coming back for him man, and it's like, ultimately, they're coming back for Jesus in us. And it's like, whatever character differences, whatever personality differences, whatever age differences, whatever race differences that we can offer them to get them connected to a person that then could lead them to Jesus. That's what it's about.

Speaker 3 47:28

Amazing. Hey, darren, thank you so much for joining us today, for spitting out wisdom, spitting facts, but also, like, for your humility and your honesty and you're willing to be so collaborative in your leadership. That's one of the things that I hope folks heard today is that the ways in which you are leading is both in patience for the timing that God has appointed, but also the willingness to do the extra work of involving others. Because, yeah, sometimes it is easier just to do the things that you can do and call it a day, but the real benefit, the real fruit, the flourishing that comes from investing and inviting others to it. It would be one less meeting if you didn't have mom ops on Thursday, but follow up would sure be a lot lot less, it would be so crazy.

Speaker 3 48:16

So if folks want to learn more, connect with you more what's the? Best way, friend. How do they find?

Speaker 1 48:19

you, yeah, absolutely On Instagram, right? So, hey, what's your Instagram?

Speaker 3 48:22

Darren, what's your Instagram?

Speaker 1 48:24

It's Darren D-A-R-Y, like yellow in J-Fox. All right Kind of like Michael J-Fox but Darren.

Speaker 2 48:32

J-Fox Amazing.

Speaker 1 48:33

Yeah or my church email would be great too. I would love to share curriculum ideas, follow-up strategies, our cards, whatever we can. It's dfoxx at battlecreekchurchcom.

Speaker 3 48:42

Okay, well, you heard it here. Friends, darren, thank you so much for hanging out today and we'll see you next week on episode of the Youth Ministry Booster podcast. If you want to learn more about the ways in which you can connect and grow, check out youthministryboostercom. Make sure to hit up Darren J Fox on the Instagram to find out more what they're up to at her church, or shoot her an email, or one to us, to love the ways in which you listen. Give us a rating and review and we'll see you back next week. Thank you.