Excuse My ADHD
Excuse My ADHD
ADHD Awareness Month 2024
Imagine being told that what you thought were personal failings are actually symptoms of a misunderstood condition. Join me, Jeanette Graham, as I navigate the intricate world of ADHD and uncover the soaring diagnosis rates in the U.S., where adult diagnoses have skyrocketed to 15.5%. With expert insights from Dr. Patel, we probe into why these numbers are higher in the U.S., citing reduced stigma and advanced diagnostic tools as driving forces. We also discuss the hurdle many face—71% of Americans with prescriptions struggle to obtain their ADHD medication—and the pivotal role of cultural beliefs and historical stigma in the landscape of global diagnosis and treatment.
Unmasking the hidden challenges of ADHD, this episode explores the nuanced experiences of those living with the condition, especially in environments where symptoms are often concealed. Using the metaphor of an iceberg, we unravel the layers of struggles such as sleep issues and emotional turbulence that go unnoticed. I share my personal reflections on the shame and comorbidities tied to late diagnoses, and how understanding the complex nature of executive functions can lead to a life filled with contradictions—an insight that's particularly inspired by popular TikTok trends. The conversation shifts to managing these challenges, and the emotional rollercoaster of coming to terms with an adult ADHD diagnosis, capturing the grief and relief it brings.
The journey doesn't end at diagnosis—it's a continuous rollercoaster of emotion and adaptation. Life with ADHD requires finding the right balance amid societal misconceptions, and is particularly challenging for women who navigate additional hurdles like hormonal fluctuations. Words from Russell Barkley resonate as I talk about bridging the gap between knowledge and action, a common struggle for those with ADHD. By fostering self-compassion, I have found peace in accepting my diagnosis, and I encourage listeners to do the same. As part of ADHD Awareness Month, I invite you to embrace your unique journey and share your stories.
Hello and welcome. To Excuse my ADHD. I'm your host, jeanette Graham, and this is episode I don't know because it's been so long. I just really want to get something out here. But the thing is this is October is ADHD Awareness Month, and I was watching a TikTok today that ABC News posted and it was a clip discussing ADHD and talking about how the amount of people who are diagnosed has skyrocketed and is now 15.5%. And this is huge, because just a couple years ago it was about 4% of adults. Just a couple years ago it was about 4% of adults.
Speaker 1:And what's even crazier is they go on to talk about how 71% of these Americans with prescriptions can't get their medication. If you're listening, I mean, this is something you already know and chances are in the past two years you've struggled to get your prescription filled at one point or another. You've had to try different generics. Some may have worked, some didn't. If you take Concerta, you've probably had an even more difficult time, like I have.
Speaker 1:And then what really had me going was I was listening to the TikTok and they brought on a Dr Patel, and I can't remember what his full name was. I'll post something in the show notes but they brought him on to ask why we have such higher rates of ADHD diagnosis than the rest of the world. And what I think people don't understand is that it's not a simple answer, and you'll hear things like people are just constantly diagnosed or doctors hand out prescriptions like it's candy. But it's not a simple answer, and Dr Patel goes on to talk about this and how there are multiple reasons, and what I see is probably the two biggest reasons myself are one, the stigma and two, the education and resources and tools that they have in other countries. Until recent years, I mean talking about mental health, even here in America in general has been highly stigmatized. People just didn't do it.
Speaker 1:And then lately there's just been this explosion of, you know, self-care and work-life balance and mental health awareness, suicide prevention, focusing on your mental health in general, and you know we have gotten to a much better place. But then there's, you know, there's still this disbelief that ADHD isn't even real. You still hear people say things like everyone's a little ADHD. Well, yeah, you know what, though? That just kind of really pisses me off, because it's thinking like that that keeps people from that, keeps people getting overlooked, that keeps people from being diagnosed, and it's, it's either looked at as a stigma or a joke and at the same time, there have been so many leaps and bounds in the diagnostic criteria as well as in diagnostic tools.
Speaker 1:And you know, when I was growing up, in ancient times aka the 90s according to my kids, because it's the 1900s the stereotypes and I've said this I don't know how many times, but it was mostly boys who couldn't still sit still in class or were disruptive, and that left out a huge population of people with ADHD who then became labeled as ditzy and or lazy, and if you weren't disruptive in the classroom, no one really paid attention to you. So anyone with an inattentive type or a combination type that didn't really have that big external hyperactivity, they didn't fit the stereotype and they went undiagnosed and it's that population that you are really seeing get diagnosed now. So on the flip side of that, aside from just you know the general, you know stigma related around mental health, there are whole cultures that don't believe in ADHD or in mental health diagnoses and they hold very strongly to their beliefs and therefore they won't get diagnosed, they won't go to psychiatrists or psychologists and those beliefs get passed down. And so when you have countries whose culture is so strong they're not studying it as much as we have. Their diagnostic tools aren't as advanced as ours are. I mean, even across the UK you see different diagnostic tools and different practices in place and it's the amount of resources allocated to ADHD that varies as well. So when you look at the US and the rest of the world, we're higher because we've been working harder at destigmatizing mental health. We've put the focus on the diagnostic criteria, into changing what's in the DSMV, into the research on how ADHD affects children versus adults, men versus women. We do research for the medications and how the brain works and even how the genes affect how ADHD is displayed. We look more closely at the comorbidities.
Speaker 1:The more resources you put into diagnosing and treating something, the more people you're going to find. Just like with COVID, when testing was mandatory with people that showed symptoms, the rates of those people having it were much higher than they were when the rules were relaxed and the testing when those symptoms were present became optional because more people were opting out of the testing. So it didn't necessarily mean there were a few people that had it. It just meant that we weren't capturing them in the data because they weren't getting tested, it didn't mean they weren't still out there having COVID Just like people are out there with ADHD and you know they were for all these years. But because they weren't tested, we didn't know they had it. So, at the same time, for everything, the more you test, the more you find it's. I mean, it's the same with everything. When the other countries started testing, when they start testing more and their diagnostic tools catch up, I'd venture to say that their numbers are going to get closer to ours. Granted, there's other factors to consider that can keep our might keep our numbers higher. I don't know, but education and testing will definitely bring their numbers closer to ours, I would say.
Speaker 1:So, staying with COVID and the lockdown and I know everybody's so tired of it because it was such a traumatic thing but something that came out of it was there was a huge increase in people posting on and interacting with social media, especially like TikTok, things like that, where you could post videos, and that led to more people watching, more people learning and, as people started talking about their symptoms and sharing their stories, more and more people started relating to them, and the more people related to them, the more they got tested. So you know, so many adults fell through the cracks because of those stereotypes and those stigmas and they're now being diagnosed because the criteria is finally caught up to us, the stereotypes are changing but, most important, people are talking about it and I know I used to feel so alone, like right after my diagnosis. But, like, in the past few years, I've learned so much more about myself and I realized that there are so many more of us. Like, for example, when I first went to the bookstore to find information on ADHD, I went to a Barnes and Noble, I went to a Joseph Bath I found four books in the entire store on the subject. Now, when you go, there's so much more information there, there's so many more books, there's so many more articles because so much more research is being done Something. The more I feel like, the more we learn about it, the more we'll catch up, the more we will get the people that have fallen through the cracks help. And, like I said, I used to feel alone. But now what I've realized is that I've helped others get diagnosed and they've told me how it's changed their lives for the better. And I can't tell you how that makes me feel, to know that I helped someone the way that I was helped when my husband told me to get tested and I was finally diagnosed.
Speaker 1:Now a lot of people were able to get through because they built these like survival techniques. Through masking they were able to mimic other people's behavior through what they saw to hide the symptoms, and so through the masking and the structure that going into an office offered, they were kind of able to get around it to hide from the diagnosis. I guess because you know, once you took away that structure and the masking around other people, once those things started to break down, I think you know you see a lot more of your issues. It comes more to the forefront and so you throw in the fact that inattentive types and those that don't really show their hyperactivity in the typical physical manifestations that have come to be associated with, you know, adhd and being diagnosed. I guess something I was really able to relate to when I started my ADHD self-education was like this image of an iceberg. So you can just go and Google ADHD iceberg.
Speaker 1:It was really eye-opening for me in the way that it lays out the symptoms. So, like on the surface he looks calm and ready. Yeah, I couldn't help myself, sorry, it was like the lyrics, to lose yourself. When I was typing all this up because I have to read everything, I have to type my thoughts out, it just came up and I deleted it. I was like you know what, screw it. I'm just going to leave it in there, because now the song is living rent free in my head. But anyway, on the surface you see the hyperactivity, the impulsivity, the trouble concentrating, but what you don't see, that they show under the water as the invisible symptoms.
Speaker 1:What most people don't see about people with ADHD is we sleep like crap because of a thousand different reasons, because our brains won't turn off, because we wake up in the middle of the night, whatever. We can't sleep. We can't stay organized to save our lives. I won't say we can't get organized because I feel like we can. It's just we can't keep it that way for very long. And when we can, then the tools that we use to stay organized have to constantly change because we get bored with them. And then you know, we're someone with emotions who are as vast and turbulent as the North Sea. We cannot control it as much as we would love to. Our memories are like Swiss cheese. You can remember the most random, useless facts that are only good for trivia nights, yet important things, just they don't always seem to stick and our working memory is shoddy at best, like when's the last time you went to the store to get three things and you actually got all of them without having a list? Or even you know, sometimes, having a list, I can go to the store and still not get everything. I can go to the store and still not get everything.
Speaker 1:You'll see someone who can't plan for the future because we have this nearsightedness that, unless it's right there in front of us, we just we can't see it in our heads to plan for it, like most people, I think. They say plan can plan up to 12 to 18 weeks in advance, where people with ADHD have a much harder time with that. And then you also see someone with an immense amount of shame that is built up over the course of their life, especially when you're diagnosed late. You'll find someone who has comorbidities. That makes everything worse, and the list goes on.
Speaker 1:But it's like it's these things that people don't really think about, that they don't really see, because I mean honestly, I didn't even know what executive functions were before I was diagnosed, so you can't really expect everybody else to know what they are either. I mean, you know what they are without knowing what they're called, but you don't really understand, I guess, how ADHD relates to those or how ADHD really affects those. And then so something else I've seen on TikTok because you know, I don't go on Facebook, I just live on TikTok and I doom scroll and I do all the things I shouldn't do, but I live on TikTok um, is this trend where people will post something like ask me about X and I'll tell you why. Then ask me on a deeper level. Okay, well, here's mine. Ask me what it's like to have ADHD and I will tell you it's essentially being a walking talking contradiction. Ask me on a deeper level. I will tell you that it hurts my soul.
Speaker 1:I will tell you that being diagnosed was both the best and worst thing that could have happened to me. I'll say it was the worst because it was literally, is literally going through the grief process when you get that diagnosis as an adult. Going through the grief process when you get that diagnosis as an adult. I was grieving so much of what I struggled with as a kid being a direct result of not being diagnosed by my parents and teachers and not knowing them, not knowing how to help me, because no one knew anything was wrong. Grief because that little girl that had very few friends was bullied, struggled with math to the point of tears all the time because she had a learning disability she didn't know about, could never behave but could never answer why they did what they did because I don't know isn't an answer Was so very, very lonely. Grief because the woman that I am just wants to hold and cherish and protect that little girl that used to sob on her knees at night and pray and beg God to make her be better, to be good, to be smarter. Grief because hindsight is 20-20.
Speaker 1:And even though I know what I know now, it doesn't change the past or how different my life could have been had someone caught on to my ADHD and my learning disability in middle school or high school, where I could be, had I had the right medication or help with my dyscalculia. And I was angry, I was depressed, I was relieved I had a label for it that there was information limited as it was. But I went through so many emotions and then I it was the worst, but then I'll say it was the best as well, because since being diagnosed I have learned so much. I still struggle, but I understand my issues better now. I know that I'm not actually broken, that I am just different, that my brain is just different. I mean, I feel like I always knew that, but actually knowing why now makes a difference. Now makes a difference. And now that I understand my brain better, I know that if something big for work comes up, I need to plan, I need to make sure I'm getting good sleep, that I'm eating, that I'm taking my meds and otherwise things will spiral. I have more control because I have the knowledge even though I don't always make the best decisions that I will always constantly struggle because there is no cure, there is no quick fix for ADHD. But the struggling is easier now, I guess.
Speaker 1:In a way I wasn't diagnosed until I was 37. I went my whole life undiagnosed and I struggled, like I said. I mean, everything just always felt so unbearably hard. I never understood it, but I thought it was just. You know, like I just said, I said it was something was wrong with me, I was broken, and now I sit in work halls where people make jokes about it and it's to the point that I get.
Speaker 1:I get a little offended, like I used to, not, but now I get a little, maybe a lot, offended by how little people take it seriously, because people don't realize how debilitating ADHD can be and how hard it is to do basic tasks, sometimes like make a five minute phone phone call, or how for women. It's just crazy because not only do we have the normal issues with ADHD, we also have to deal with our monthly cycles messing with the severity of our symptoms thanks to the role that estrogen plays in our dopamine regulation. Guess what else affects our dopamine? Everything the foods we eat, the amount of sleep we get or don't get, the exercise or lack thereof, the stress level or the cortisol in our systems. It makes me crazy to think about it, because no simple fix, no one size fits all.
Speaker 1:Everything about ADHD is a roller coaster, from getting properly diagnosed, including teasing out any comorbidities, to finding out the right meds, to determining how to handle your cycle, whether it's a secondary RX or a high dose for low estrogen days. But then how do you know when those are Like see roller coaster, finding the medication. It's. It's your own personal amusement park. You get to keep, to keep it interesting, then they change all the rides all the time. The entry fee to the park is never the same, and what I mean is, like the way things work right now, this week, this month, this year, at some point will inevitably change.
Speaker 1:That bullet journal that you loved and managed won't work anymore, for one reason or another.
Speaker 1:The exercise regimen that you were doing, the food that you were eating to stay healthy, you just woke up one morning and either you were sick or you just didn't feel like it, and that day off turned into six months, and now you can't stand any of the foods that you were eating, because just to think of them makes you nauseous, and you can't get back in your workout routine because, for whatever reason. And even with all that, though, what helps me the most is I've learned to be kinder to myself, because, with all of those things, shame is probably the single hardest part of having ADHD, because something that Russell Barkley said in a video that I watched of his and I'm paraphrasing because I don't know it, but, and I had to watch it like five times to try and get it right it's that we're not stupid. We have the knowledge, we know what we need to do, but that part of the brain where we acquire the knowledge is in the back. But the frontal lobe, which we know is where ADHD affects the most, is where we take that knowledge, what we know, and we apply it or use it, and those two parts are separated. Adhd cleaves them apart. We know how to do what to do, but we can't do what we know, and that's what causes the shame and that's what causes the shame.
Speaker 1:Now that I've settled into my diagnosis and I've accepted it, I feel better. I course correct sooner. I still go off track from time to time, but I guess I just hope every one of you finds some sense of peace in your diagnosis, that you keep learning and keep growing and discovering and that as you do those things, especially this month, that you're sharing all of that knowledge and your journey with others. With that, until next time, and happy ADHD awareness month.