Episode 26: Bad Day
In the essence of saving time I am forewarning you there is a good chance you will be submitted to a lot of ‘ummms, oks, and sos’ I have decided that if I am going to get this one out on time it is going out un edited so bear with me.
Sitting here trying to think of a topic for this episode I find myself coming back to the same thought. What are some of the most ADHD things have I done? I started thinking maybe we could commiserate I tell you mine you tell me yours. I will get started here and you guys can message me your most ADHD stories. I can post them anonymously and we can have some fun trying to out ADHD each other. Think of it as a bonding exercise, you do let’s call them peculiar things, I do peculiar things, we all do peculiar things. Let’s make each other feel less alone and less peculiar. I have been ridiculed and made fun of for things that others see as ridiculous and I am guessing you have too. It hurts but we laugh it off and silently reprimand ourselves for whatever it is we have done this time. We shouldn’t though we are all doing the best we can every day and even neurotypicals do the same things just not at the same frequency or with the same level of pizazz as we do.
Let the fun begin:
· Washed a pee filled diaper in the washing machine- Let me tell you that is a HUGE mess of whatever silicone gel or whatever they put in those. I think I have also accidentally washed a pull up once too though those aren’t as absorbent and didn’t really do anything. Both times I had to re-wash the clothes. With the first I had to wipe all of the gel stuff out of the washer first that took a while.
· Lost my cell at a shoe store while trying on shoes and frantically ran around looking for it. I even went so far as to check boxes of the shoes I tried on. I finally got desperate and asked the sales lady if I could use her phone to call my cell. I was silently praying it wasn’t on silent. See I tend to put it on silent at work during meetings then forget to turn it back on which can be a bit of an issue when trying to find my phone. I called my number and guess what it started ringing, relief, followed by immense embarrassment when I realized my phone had been in the bag the shoes were put in when I checked out the whole time. It was the only place I didn’t think to look.
· Shown up to work on my day off. Literally got up got dressed told my parents nope today was in fact not my day off like they thought and drove into work. Walked in and everyone just started looking confused. My boss came out and asked what I was doing then proceeded to tell me that I was indeed off that day. That one got some good laughs from co-workers and happened at a few different jobs.
· Wrote a 13page paper on the day it was due. My husband took my son for the day so I could get the paper done. I of course had procrastinated and didn’t’ have it done ahead of time so spent the whole day doing research, note cards, and writing. I had just finished when my husband came home with my sone. It was perfect timing. I went in later that night to submit said paper and found that I didn’t properly save it because it was nowhere to be found. I searched the whole computer, all of my jump drives, and I even tried to auto recover but it was nowhere. I Had to beg the professor to let me submit late and she gave me a 24 hour extension, she said if I could get it to her by then I was probably telling the truth and she wouldn’t dock my grade for being late (thank you Jesus). That night and the next day I rewrote the paper and submitted it. Come to find out and this is the best part, my 13pg paper was single spaced. The instructions I read 20 times said it was supposed to be 13pgs double spaced. I essentially wrote a 26page paper, not once but twice. Not really sure which ADHD moment in this story is the best but I likely hit them all.
· Locked my keys in the back seat of my car at an amusement park. I can’t remember why but I was changing shorts or something in the back seat. I got done made sure I locked the doors before I closed them. I think we realized the mistake because we were getting something out of or putting something in the trunk?? I can’t really remember anymore but we discovered they were in the backseat where I had just changed clothes. My friends and I had to get help from park security before we could even go in.
· My freshman year of college I was a commuter, I lived about 35minutes from campus. This also meant I had to park in the commuter lot which was another 20min walk to my classes. I was running late and I think it was still pretty early in the semester and early in the morning as in my first class was an 8am calculus if I remember correctly. I was stupid and a freshman what did I know about early am math class (I found out quickly). I grabbed my stuff and headed to class. Once classes were over, I had a job on campus working the counter at one of the restaurants. By the time I was done with work and headed back to my car it was like 11pm and I am pretty sure the last campus bus ran just as I was getting to my car. At this point I am dead on my feet and just want to go home. I went looking for my keys, they weren’t in my purse ok so I checked my backpack not there either. I decided I would look and just make sure they hadn’t fallen out of my purse on the floor board, they had a tendency to do that. It wasn’t until I went to look on the passenger’s side that I saw them still in the ignition. My relief of finding the keys quickly turned into panic at my next realization. Shit I bet I locked the car how the hell am I going to get the keys? I checked the door and Hallelujah they weren’t locked.
These are just some of the wildest ones. What I think you might notice by now is that there is a bit of a theme. Every time I did something it was because I was stressed or excited or just exhausted. We already on the daily have problems with misplacing and forgetting but some of our biggest uh oh and oh no moments happen when we are stressed. These are the times when it feels like the universe is out to get us like we must have really screwed up in a past life or something to keep having things like this happen. We aren’t focused, well duh already knew that, ok, but this is worse. This is thinking about a thousand things all at once (instead of the typical 500) or completely focusing on one thing blocking the rest out. A bad day almost always seems to start with one of these instances and snowballs. Our minds are completely exhausted, we are stressed, and frazzled. We also aren’t fully processing our own actions and are on autopilot to a point. How do we fix it? How do we quit making stupid mistakes? How do we stop forgetting? How do we quit losing things? Well we don’t not totally anyway. Everyone loses, forgets, and makes mistakes. What we have to do is what we do for everything else work smarter not harder our brains already work hard enough to try and keep up. Whether you treat your ADHD holistically/medication and a combination of other tools the playing field isn’t always even across the board. Our brains are wired for one thing that will help us and that is order. Some simple things like creating a launching pad or particular place you keep things like your phone and keys is a start. Keeping things in the same place and being mindful of doing it will help to minimize the problems. Once it becomes habit it will be part of your autopilot for those stressful or excited days. Think about it if you get up and get ready to head out the door if all of your stuff is in one place you might actually make it out the door on time. You won’t miss that meeting. Your day will have a better start. Mindfulness is a big one and so is slowing down and allowing ourselves to process information coming at us. It could be as simple as taking a deep breath then reviewing in your mind what just happened or what was said. Emotional balance and being mindful of our emotions is vital. We have to learn techniques to help calm us in our most turbulent times. Lastly, we have to remember that when we do mess up again which we will that we don’t scold ourselves. This will only make your emotional state worse and start the ball rolling to a bad day. Self-love and forgiveness are so important. We are resilient we are strong but sometimes we are also our own worst enemy. We have to learn to love our selves and our ADHD even though we hate it sometimes. We also have to remember that there are things out of our control that have nothing to do with ADHD or anything we did or didn’t do. We have to find the good that is what we need to try to remember when we feel like the sky is falling. I am different not broken. I am a hot mess ok yeah well sometimes…Just try to balance our emotions and be mindful of what is going on. Alright I told you mine and lectured a bit so now it’s your turn. DM me on Facebook or Instagram or even send me an email through the website contact page I promise I will read them anonymously. Until Next Time.
