256. Get Momentum With Your Message [Part 2 of the Yap Challenge Breakdown]

This is Part 2 of my Jessi Jean Yap Challenge breakdown and this week it’s about YOU.

You're not trying to become social media famous, but you would like to be known for your work, and for your reputation to do the heavy lifting for your brand. This week we're digging into the three gears that create TRACTION when you’re an expert sharing your ideas.

I also get into the time I lost all my confidence after maternity leave even though the skill never left me, why your second launch is more likely to flop than your first, and why I refuse to let clients batch their content if they want to get better at talking.

If you're doing genuinely good work and still feel invisible (or that your work isn’t getting the spotlight it deserves) this episode is going to tell you exactly which piece you're skipping.

Episode Nuggets

• The thing I see experts do constantly that puts more work on their audience
• Why I made myself hand-correct my own Facebook Live captions for months (and what it exposed about how I talk)
• The unpopular opinion I have about "being more of yourself" online
• Why I won't let clients batch their content if they're serious about getting better
• The unpopular opinion I have about "being more of yourself" online

READ THE FULL SHOW NOTES HERE

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Transcript

Heather (00:11)

Well, hey there, and welcome to another episode of the Hint of Hustle podcast. It's your coach Heather Sager. And today's episode we are doing a follow-up to last week. First of all, if you sent me a message and shared with me your reaction to last week's episode, thank you, thank you. I I had I had a bit of a vulnerability hangover, as they say. I literally woke up Tuesday last week. No Wednesday, I think I I had to send it out a day late, but when I woke up, I

was tempted to jump on to Buzzsprout, which is where I host my platform, and unpublish the episode because I was like, no, I instantly regret this. however, I did not, and instead I went to the gym and worked it out. And by the time I was done, I already had three DMs on Instagram of people sharing that they listened to the episode and it resonated. I I think I think that one exemplifies what I was talking about last week. If you missed it, go back and listen to the episode.

Everyone and their mom is talking about Jesse Jean's Yap Challenge launch and its encore round of launching. I think as of this episode of this morning, I had seen somewhere that collectively she has generated 3.6 million between the launches. Again, I I don't know anything beyond that today as I'm recording. It's Friday, June 26th. So who knows how the thing closed down. You should know, or you might know by the time you listen to this episode next Tuesday or this.

Whatever, whatever day you're listening to this. But I last week I talked about my take as a communication expert and speaking coach and what I've observed. And it's less of a marketing take and more of a observation. seeing someone show up so boldly and courageously. But I highly recommend that you listen to that episode. you don't have to listen to it before this one. they these episodes go together, but they are not necessarily sequential. So let's get into what we're talking about today. So

What I want to hit on is today we're going to talk about this thing that I call message momentum. And this is really important because I mean, I work with experts. I mean, most of my clients are elder millennials or Gen Xers, people who are seasoned have been around the block quite a bit, right? You have a decade, two decades. We won't talk about the multiple decades because we don't feel old. but we've been around the block, right? And it can feel

very uncomfortable for someone who has way less experience than us to seemingly easily sell what we do or something like what we we think it's the same thing, right? But as I exemplified in last week's episode, it's not always necessarily the same thing that we sell, but it it strikes a nerve in us and we get triggered and we're like, why, why? And there's a lot of reasons for this. And again, dig into last week's episode, but

Today, what I want to talk about is it's our responsibility as experts when we're building a business, you're building a brand, or even if you're a leader, let's say you're a leader inside a company, right? And you're showing up and you want other people to take you seriously. You want other people to listen to your opinions and insights and recommendations. If you want people to actually hear you, well, there are a few things that really have to happen that we must accept are.

Our responsibility being the one holding the metaphorical microphone. You can't put it on your audience to try to read in between the lines or even for them to go do their own due diligence and research, comparing their options or knowing enough about a topic to make a decision. You can't put that on other people. You have to take responsibility that it's your job to educate and communicate.

What it is that you do and why it matters to them and how it relates to their world. All of that is your responsibility. If you're in this kind of business, if you want to be a visible leader and be seen as a thought leader and the expert to to work with, right? And a lot of times it's not even that we want to be seen as the expert. It's that it's not really ego involved. It's the we genuinely want to help people.

And we know that our topics are far more nuanced, and there's way more under the surface than just the surface-level thing. So there is a very humble and very well-intended reason for why we want to work with people other than having them go to someone with less experience. But we have to accept responsibility that we have to.

Be responsible. I'm gonna say responsibility like 73 times or it's the word of the hour, but we we have to take ownership. There's a different way to say responsible, for how we communicate. And the truth is, if we want the thing that we do to get traction, aka have other people know about it and refer to us as the quote unquote expert in this area or an authority in this area or a someone who knows their shit, right? It's up to us to make our thing.

the thing that people know us for. So we're going to talk about this as message momentum. Now, here's something that is interesting that came up for me. And by the way, I'm going give you a framework to to think about your message and building momentum as an expert and kind of as a personal brand or as a leader today. But what I want you thinking about is let's say you have a really good idea and you're like, ooh,

I want to share this idea. So maybe you maybe you have a podcast and you have an idea for a topic that you want to release, or maybe you have an idea for an Instagram reel and you pull up your camera and start talking, or maybe you fire off an email, whatever the the medium in which that you share your expertise, that that's it doesn't matter here. But what I want you to understand is when you fire off that idea, we have to understand that good ideas are kind of like what's the expression, a dime a dozen.

One good idea communicated really well. It might reach someone in the moment and be like, that's yes, that's what I needed. But if that's all they ever hear from us, or they don't hear from us very often, they're going to forget about us. It's it's not very often that you have something that you're like, it was so good. It just sticks with you for life. And I'm gonna argue this. I've had many a moment as a receiver of information where I'll actually remember there was a specific quote.

That someone said. So for example, complaints leave clues. I heard that on stage at a conference. I think I mentioned this in episode last week, but I don't remember who said it. It wasn't their original quote, but they were the one that delivered the message and had a really powerful idea behind it. But like we remember often the thing, but we don't always remember the person that said the thing. Or we remember the person and we remember the feeling that person gave us. But in that situation, we usually don't remember exactly what they said. You following me here?

It's the we either remember the message or we remember the person and the feeling, but it's usually not both. And it's because a lot of people have these one-off moments of brilliance, but they don't think about how how do I how do I make it land? I hate sorry, I just got tripped up as I said that word because as I said it, I'm like, damn it, I hate when people say make it land because it sounds like Chat G PT, because Chat GPT and Claude are obsessed with that word right now.

Sorry, that's a little Sager side tangent, but when we when we think about like sharing all these one-off individual things, it we have to th consider how they all go together. So that way it it it's memorable, it's recognizable. People sort of associate us for that thing. So that's just kind of my setup here. Because what we need to be thinking about is anytime we share information, we share our stories, we share our expertise.

This is an opportunity for us to build brand recognition, for us to build connection, and ultimately build trust with others. And so what we're gonna go into today, it's I'm gonna we're gonna call it loosely a framework. But it was what I wrote down as when I observed what Jesse was doing, and then I overlaid that to what I teach and what I do with my private clients.

I like to put things into frameworks to make it easy to be able to communicate it. So I laid out this framework and it's definitely what I saw exemplified by Jesse, but it's it 100% translate, ooh, this is why some of my clients get traction and others don't. So here's what I want you thinking about. Imagine in front of you your business's marketing.

Is there's a couple gears at play. You know, like gears, what I'm talking about, like gears working together, and when one spins, the other one spins. I want you to think about that to get momentum, and by momentum, what I'm talking about here is for your message, whatever you're talking about as the expert, for it to get traction.

And to get traction, it isn't a one-off thing. It's one of those things that it gets you recognized, it gets you remembered, it gets you referred by other people, right? This idea that people start associating you as the expert or as the authority or a go-to on this topic. Okay. So when I say momentum, that's what I'm talking about here. And the ultimate result of that momentum, okay, it just depends on what your business model is. Maybe the result of that is you're wanting to book more private clients.

Maybe the result of that is you're trying to establish an audience so that you can get published for a book of traditional publishing. Maybe you are trying to get momentum on your message because you're trying to build up your following on social media or trying to grow your podcast so you can sell advertising spots, or maybe you're trying to sell your membership or coaching or whatever it is, right? The result that's up to you to define. But in order to get that result, right, we need to start really growing our audience. And by growing our audience, it's not just a numbers thing, it's also a

Quality play. But a lot of times, here's what I see happen. Someone who starts their online business, for example, you've probably done this before, right? Where it's like, I'm just supposed to show up every week. So you get into that rat race of posting, posting, posting, posting, posting, posting, posting, posting, and you're not really getting much traction from it. Have you had that experience, right? Where maybe it's back in me in 2018, 29.

19, maybe I was getting like a little bit, but when it comes to social media, I've always said it's not my main thing. It was just something that I needed to do or something to supplement. And I and I learned through that that's for me, social media was really about an authority play of being present and showing up and having my body of work being visible online. So when people searched me, they found me, they would see that deep work. But I wasn't really using it as an attraction play. But what happens for many is they post and they post and they post.

And then you start getting burned out because we think social media, ooh, is where we find new leads, find new customers, but I'm not really getting anything from that. So then why am I doing this? But I'm supposed to be doing this. And I can't tell you how many times I privately work with business owners of the last eight years and found out that they are over like spending so many hours a week in their business and they are making peanuts. And we go back and we time audit and realize that they are spending so much of their time creating content that never gets seen by anyone. And there's a

problem with that. So that's one scenario here. And then I have clients who have really incredible content, like really incredible content, but it's hidden somewhere on a Dropbox file or hidden behind a paywall or only done behind like speaking inside other people's programs. And it's not publicly found. So people don't know how brilliant they are. The stuff that they're posting is either absent or it's not great quality. It's kind of generic and

Bland. So that's one scenario. Like there's probably a lot of different scenarios here, right? Where we try things out, but we're not really again getting momentum or getting traction. So let me give you these are the three gears. Again, go and call them gears that I see and that I work on with my clients that help them become that known visible leader in their space. Okay. The I'm just gonna give you two of the three and then let's talk about them. So

Resonance, reach, and reps. Yes, I love a little literation, so they're all R's, which feels like a wonderful, nice tidy bow. Reps, reach, and resonance. So I want to go through each of those because the key is around the reason why I said these as gears is we need to be working on all three in tandem. And the beautiful part around all three is each of these helps the other.

And I'll explain what I mean by that here in just a second. But when I say reps, reps are the repetitions of your work. This is whether you're posting consistently or launching consistently, just practicing your craft and showing up and putting in, as I said, the reps. So where I saw this play out with Jesse, as I mentioned in last episode in part one, is Jesse was quite frankly willing to quote, eat shit for a year, end quote.

That her goal was just to show up and test shit out, but show up again and again and again and again. And that is a huge premise of her offer around the Yap Challenge was look, I don't know what results you're gonna get on this, but I what I do know is if you keep showing up, and if you look at how you show up and get better 1% every single time, you will improve, right? Reps will make you better. This is where the idea of mastery.

For expertise, right? They talk about 10,000 hours of something and then you're officially an expert. It literally comes down as not just because you have more knowledge, it's because you have more practical explication. And your wisdom comes through practical application. It's where you learn your own lessons. Let's sing I'm a I'm a parent right now. Right now, I'm a parent. I don't know why I said right now, but I'm a parent. And as much as I want to impart my wisdom on my children.

yeah, but you know where this is going, right? You can tell your kids, don't do X, Y, and Z, or this is gonna result in this. Like, let's say toddler standing up on the back of the sofa. Like you know how this is probably gonna go. They're probably gonna fall down and get hurt, right? You you can see what's going to happen. Or I see two of my kids just like their blood boiling, wanting to murder each other, and I know someone's going to get hurt or just something's gonna happen, right? But it doesn't matter how many times I tell them, hey, don't do this, or this is about to happen.

They have to experience it for themselves. Like they have to experience it for themselves. And this is not just a kid thing. This is for anything. Like as grown-ups, right? We don't want someone just to tell us things. Like even when we learn from an expert, we still kind of have to do it ourselves to learn it for ourselves. Repetition is the best way to learn doing something over and over. Now, on that like other side of that coin, what do they say is the definition of insanity?

Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. So the other side of the coin of reps, and this is where I see so many freaking people get it wrong when it comes to guest speaking, when it comes to podcasting, when it comes to leading meetings, when it comes to recording video, when it comes to posting on social like social media, anything that you can think of. The thing where people get it wrong is they just do the same thing over and over and over again without.

reflecting on what's working and what's not working. And this is such a such simple thing. But for example, last week when I talked about me making the camera my bitch, which there's a teaser for you. If you missed last week's episode, go check that line out. But I talked about actually no, I didn't talk about this last week. So here's a little fun update for that. When I said I talk to the camera every single week to start

removing that electricity and the nerves that I had to start normalizing it and making the camera my bitch. Here's what I didn't tell you. When I switched from recording in secret on my laptop, not secret, but in private, and I moved to doing Facebook Lives. Here's what I did that I see so many people unwilling to do. Every time I do a Facebook Live, this is back in 2018, 2019. okay, so at the time, captions you had to turn on on Facebook.

And you would turn on the captions and most of the words were wrong. So you could go back on Facebook and update all like the actual transcription. And this was important because then I'd pull it down and I'd put it on YouTube and yada yada. But the reason why this is really important is I'd go back and I would hand key the captions on my own Facebook lives. This sounds ridiculous now as I talk about it, but I did that.

And at the time I was doing it because I wanted the captions better. But after doing it one or two times, I can tell you hands down, it was the most tedious, uncomfortable, terrible thing that I did that helped me the most. And it's because I got so freaking frustrated and annoyed at myself for how many filler words I was using. And here's the sneaky part it wasn't normal filler words like and like and My filler words were and so.

Everything that I said was a long run-on sentence because I connected everything together with and so blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And so blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Whatever it was, and I'm like, holy crap, I had no idea I was doing that until I had the courage to stare at my reflection and listen to my annoying freaking voice and watch my weird freaking left eyebrow, which is overanimated, but for some reason my right eyebrow doesn't move, I don't know what's happening.

But I had the courage to watch it back and not critique, my gosh, you're terrible. You look so stupid. What are you doing? I watched it back with the intent of, cool, how do we get better next time? I was so frustrated by my inability to cut or to like to speak without filler words. What would happen is my frustrated editing, what would happen is the next time I'd go to speak and record a video.

I would then cautiously think about the words between sentences. That is the reason it forced me to pause before I said the next sentence. That wasn't a period and a whatever, but you got the point here, right? Pause, right? Everyone says, you should pause more. But I think there's this, okay, this is stupid. This is where I hate stupid advice on the internet. People are like, pause, have more inflection.

Really think about your tonality. And they say all these things, which sounds good to listen, but the reality is you're not gonna fucking do any of it. Having that information in your head is not going to change anything the next time you go into a video because when you start speaking, you go into autopilot mode. So, side note, let's go a little metaphor here. I want you to imagine for a moment that you're a soccer player or pick whatever sport you want. I played soccer growing up, so we're gonna use that metaphor. When I played soccer, we had practice.

And at practice is we was where we did footwork. It's where I was a goalkeeper. I learned how to better punt the ball. I learned diving. I learned techniques for how to protect my lady parts while I was diving so I wouldn't get kicked in the hoo-ha. Yeah, literally. I learned how to jump and use my knee to block my own private parts. This is really like a weird. Why am I using this scenario? But here we are. but techniques. And at practice I went over and over and over again because when it c became game time.

My sole attention was on the plays, on the field, on what was happening. I didn't have time to think about, my gosh, what happens with my knee? What degree should I be standing between the ball and the goal? Like all of that comes down automatically when you train for it. Right. So think about famous sports athletes, professional athletes, there's term, right? When they're in the game, they're not thinking about, I need to hold my wrist at 73 degrees due north.

To make this shot. No, they're not thinking that at all. They're they're they're present in the moment. And the same thing is true for you when it becomes to speaking on camera or podcasting or whatever it is that you coaching live with your clients. I don't care what notes you have beside you, when you are in the moment, you need to be locked in and present. So going back to for me is I can tell you all day long: be more present, have better tonality, take those pauses, but until you are willing to.

One, put in the reps and two, reflect on the reps. Not rely on someone else to point out too. You have to face it and say, how do I get better? What is it actually happening when I open my mouth to talk? Until you experience that discomfort and get so uncomfortable that you are then willing to change, you won't.

That's where reps come in. But like I said, what where people get it wrong is they think just doing more, doing more, doing more, doing more is going to get them more. No, it's the wisdom that you get from doing that you learn to do better. So, number one to get message momentum, two, you gotta put in the reps. Now, let me make another point around this. Doing the reps, this is something I always talk about with my private clients when I'm on a sales call.

When I talk to somebody who is very goal-oriented and they say, I'll give you an example here around speaking. They say, I really want to speak on more stages. I'm like, great, when are you doing that? I don't know. I want to get ready to pitch. Well, as you know from last week's episode, I think the whole planning thing and getting ready is an absolute bullshit trap that you're just scared to get started. so when I talk to my private clients, I will not work with a client who is not already using their voice actively.

So that could be recording on podcasts, showing up in team meetings, creating content online. a lot of times with my corporate leaders, they're in meetings a lot or they're giving presentations or they're speaking to their team members or other departments or clients or whatever else. Like you like they're actively using your voice. And here's the reason for it. I have no interest in just sharing with someone theoretical information that they'll one day use. My style when I'm coaching.

is we're gonna work on one thing specific to what you have coming up in the next week or two weeks. And we're gonna role play it. We're gonna talk about how to approach it. We're gonna talk about the different risks associated, what could happen. We're gonna poke it from different ways, but we're gonna get you ready for it. But then you're gonna have to go do it. And you're gonna go do it and you're gonna have to experience it. And then you're gonna have to reflect on it and then we're gonna debrief on it to figure out, okay, what worked, what didn't work, how do we get better? That's a rep.

And for the reason why I don't work peep with people who are not actively using their voice in some capacity is because when there is so much time in between reps, the wisdom just kind of lingers and then you lose it. So the reason why I got really good at speaking and then really good on camera is because I was doing reps every single day. This is why I teach something that I call the daily ramble.

Which is an intentional daily practice where five minutes a day, you literally say shit out loud. I have some formats for it, but you say shit out loud to work on the muscle of speaking. And again, this rap is not just saying shit for the sake of saying shit. You're saying shit that you wanna be able to articulate well. I love that I just said that related to saying shit that you want to articulate well. That's there's a quote for the for this episode. But the the point is, right, you're gonna say it, but you have to reflect on it.

So that you can refine it and then do it again better, a little bit better every single time. So what happens a lot of times with some of my students inside my program is they don't speak on stages very often. So maybe they have one speaking event and then their next one is like six months later. Well, I have this one client that she spoke on a really big stage last year, and then she did another one a couple months later, but then all this time in between, she didn't speak on any more physical stages again. And then she had the opportunity to speak on a physical stage again this year.

And all the nerves and all of the pep talks and all the debriefing and everything that we worked on last year, it was all at the same heightened sense of emotion and frenzy. And by the way, she killed it. She totally did an awesome on it. But she had all this, because there was so much time in between the reps. You're not going to get better and you're not going to make something really stick if there's so much time and space between.

This is one of the reasons that I recommend that business owners who want to get better at articulation and persuasion and make their voice better. I do not recommend that you batch your content, which like, people like, wait, what? I know batching is super great for your schedule and you can work with your cycle and make sure that it all is the great time of every month and you can do your makeup one time and hammer it all out. But if you're working on the skill of speaking, doing that one day a month, it's not gonna make you better.

You're not gonna be able to have, sorry, here's another Chat GT word, but it's not gonna compound. You're learning an application. You're not putting time, space, and distance. You're not letting that all work together so that you grow the skills. Skills require repetition and time. The more, the more reps that you do in a short amount of time, the better. But if you have this big time lapse in between reps, you're really gonna stagnate.

You understand what I'm saying here? So this is why I recommend, and this is my philosophy, is I literally record my podcast week to week. Now, it is a little terrifying, like a couple weeks ago when I got sick and I had no episode and I had to just say, well, all right, there's no episode this week. So I do recommend maybe get a couple weeks ahead, but recording every single week or doing videos multiple times a week, but using your voice consistently, you have to keep using that to build and strengthen that muscle. Now,

Here's the thing, once you're awesome at it, right? Once you're at a level where you're like, hell yeah, I'm doing great. Okay, then you can do things a little bit differently. But even me, what I experienced when I was out on maternity leave back in tw late 2023, 2024, just by me taking three to four, five months off of creating content in my podcast, and of course having a baby and having a mild identity crisis, as we all do when we talked about last week, what happens is it feels

ridiculous coming back. And by ridiculous, it's not only is the muscle, you know, when you take some time off at the gym and then you get back and then you can't walk upstairs or sit down on the toilet for like two weeks because you're so freaking sore and then you swear I'm never taking time off again. But yet you do anyways. That's what happens to your articulation skills. And the the hard part is like for me what happened on maternity leave is I knew I was really freaking good. But what happened is when I came back from maturity leave

I kind of lost touch with my own confidence of what the heck am I trying to say? It took longer for me to get to my point. Then I started second guessing the heck out of it. And then I started feeling a lot of deep shame, going, holy shit, I'm already good at this, but now I don't feel really good at this. And like a whole head fuckery happening. And that's what I want you to pay attention to that even when you're good, you still have to do the reps. Nobody gets time off. Think again about the pro athletes I was mentioning before, right? Just because they are awesome.

To stay awesome, they still practice. You get what I'm saying here? Are we on the same page that reps matter, but reps alone aren't going to save it from you? Reps with refinement, right? Which is actually having the courage to watch and listen to yourself and get better and have more awareness around how you're showing up so you can refine it. And we have to be consistent with our reps. And by consistent, I'm not talking about.

stupid social media post every single day or whatever else. Consistency means that we are just keeping at it. So whatever that consistency looks like for you, it depends on your goals. If you want to really up-level your goals, do it more in a short amount of time and then you can maintain it. If you want to spend a long time growing a skill, do a little bit consistently and you will get better, but it'll take longer.

Neither of those is good or bad. You have to honor your own drive and personality and figure out what's right for you. But what I don't want you to do is be absolutely delusional and think that you're gonna put in an ounce of work and get 500 pounds return. It does not work like that. To grow a skill, you have to be willing to do it and stick with it. Capiche. Okay, that's my little rant on reps. Mention we have three gears here. So one gear is the reps. Let's move on to gear number two. We're gonna go into reach next.

Reach. What I mean by reach, which is literally making sure your message gets in front of other people. Now, this is a gear, and I what I want you to think about is when we think about reach, we need to be mindful that there are two audiences. And I'm just gonna dumb this down really simply. I'm sure there's a lot of different ways that you can slice this gear. We'll call this gear a pie, but I'm just gonna focus on two because this is what I see a lot of my clients struggle with. I want you to think about you have people who already know you.

And you have people who do not know who you are yet. They have never heard of you before, right? You have your your existing audience, and then you have other people in the world. Okay. It's just so simple. We'll think about that. What happens is a lot of leaders, especially thought leaders, they spend their time writing their ideas out, but they're putting it up on, let's say, reading the weekly email or even publishing it to their own podcast. And they're wondering.

Why their audience isn't growing, why their message isn't getting more momentum, why more people don't know them or use their work. You see where I'm going here? Where they spend all this time talking to the same people over and over and over again, which is great for building trust. But at some point in time, if you truly want to make an impact in this world, it's your responsibility to get your message in front of more people.

That's just the name of the game. You have to get your message in front of more people. Now, how you do that, there's a lot of different ways to do that. There's not one way. You don't have to be like last week with Jessie going viral and building an audience on Instagram. You do not have to be an influencer or creator online. I know, I know a friend that she builds her business entirely off social media. I know friends who do all just collaborations. I know friends who all just do local networking. Like there are so many different ways that you can grow your business.

But in order for you to truly get momentum with your personal brand, with your business, whatever kind of business that you have, you have to be cognizant of it's your responsibility to get your message, get what you're talking about, get your work in front of more people. And don't expect a bigger return if you are unwilling to go in front of new people. But this is a big reason why I love guest speaking, it's essentially leveraging other people's audiences.

speaking inside other people's programs, speaking for companies, speaking inside events, speaking on other people's podcasts, it just exposes you to way more people. And look, I know a lot of people poo-poo on the idea of speaking for exposure. But if you're a business owner and you have a really good message and you have a strategy to convert people into sales, hi, exposure is another word for marketing. Now, if you do not know how you take someone from stranger

To a sale, yeah, speaking for exposure might be a bad strategy. Side note, if you're like, but wait, how do I do that? If you want some ideas around how to turn your visibility opportunities into tangible results for your business, which when I say tangible, more than getting paid, there are other ways you can get quote unquote paid for visibility. if you want that, you can go down to the show notes of this episode, my purposeful speaking guide where I teach you profitability.

For visibility or your return on visibility, I call it an ROV. If you want to learn how to get a higher return on visibility, I have a guide for that. So just go down in the show notes, grab my purposeful and profitable speaking guide. But all that being said, you can speak for free, you could speak for fee. I don't really care. The idea is you want to get your message in front of more people and being aware of knowing that when I speak to people who don't know me.

That's going to be a different experience than speaking to people who already know me. You understand those are two different things, right? And this is what happens a lot of times. I'm gonna go off on a side tangent here about launching for a moment. What I see oftentimes with experts who launch, let's say, courses, memberships, digital products, oftentimes when they go to first launch something, they have a really high success rate because they have most likely

Spent some time building trust and nurturing an audience where they have a warm audience that they're launching to. Then they're like, Woo-hoo, that was so great. The next time I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna set these big ass goals and I'm gonna go big. And maybe on that second launch, they decide to bring on some affiliates, aka people to refer their audiences to it. Or maybe they also start doing ads. I don't know, right? Like we gotta get some, let's do this bigger. And

What I see a lot of times happen is people will launch for the second time, and the results will feel lacklustery. And what happened is the first launch, everything they were talking about was speaking to an audience that already knew them, already trusted them. It was a warm audience. But on the second time, when they were reaching people who did not know them yet, they were still speaking to those people like the first audience, the people who knew them.

And that second launch probably had a mixture of warm and cold, but a lot of times it flops because for most experts, they feel far more comfortable and have a lot more conviction selling their services when they're talking to people who already know them. When they start talking to people who don't know them, they get a little pitchy in their voice, a little tighter, a little more butt-cheek, clenching. They then feel the need to posture themselves.

To sound more credible, to sound more authoritative, and try to convince people that they need this thing they're selling. That doesn't happen as much when you're talking to people who already trust you. We're trying to convince people, which is does not get people to trust you. But you see how that plays out? When we when we become more aware that, okay, speaking to people who don't know me is gonna be a little different than speaking people who know me. We start thinking about reach a little differently. This for me has been really

Really annoying because I so I'm great when I'm guest speaking and speaking to people who don't know me, but I'm a huge proponent of having transferred trust, aka if somebody brings me in their program, they set me up so that their audience isn't like trust me. A lot of times the programs I'm speaking in are my past clients' programs or people have gone through my like their peers and my mastermind. There's a trust transference. This for me is a struggle.

Right now on social media. And this is the reason why I signed up for the Yap Challenge, quite frankly. I mentioned this last week, is not because I need to get better at video. It's the I need to get better of calling in a stranger who would be an ideal client for me. I need to get better at articulating that faster. Because while I'm a long-form gal and I'm really good at doing that, even with cold audiences, I can I can hook them, become very likable, I can covert people. In fact, a couple of years ago, one of my clients calls me her zero to yes girl.

Meaning that she discovered me, gobbled up my private podcast, and bought my program in the span of 24 hours. She had no idea who I was, and then all of a sudden was like a believer. And she is still a friend of the state. She actually just texted me yesterday. So I I I can. I can convert a cold audience really well, but I need my messaging container for it. My private podcast, my webinar, something in my world, right? Or even my podcast. This is why I have a podcast.

Is I create a lot of trust and authority in this podcast because we spend some time together. But doing that in a 60-second reel, I have not mastered that skill. Because building trust in long-form content and/or speaking quickly to my existing trusted audience is different than getting a stranger to stop their scroll and be like, ooh, this bitch is for me. Say that in a good way. So

That reach thing, the reason why I'm sharing this with you as a gear is there are different ways we can make that gear work for us and different speeds we can get that gear moving. And it all comes back to what are your goals and what are you what are you going after. But I think we just think of reach as this one thing, but it's far more nuanced than that. And what Jesse did really, really well with this with this Yap challenge.

Is not only did she get really good reach on her initial reels that went viral as she started growing her audience because she was speaking to that like inner thoughts of her ideal person, right? So she was reaching new audiences. But even more is once the Yap Challenge phenomenon started happening, people started talking about launch, what was happening is her reach was becoming word of mouth marketing, which word of mouth marketing is pretty freaking awesome. It's like, you know, how celebrities say,

There's no bad press, right? People are talking about you. people talking about, and there's truth to that. People talking about you is gonna get more eyeballs on you. And more eyeballs, yes, is gonna bring in some haters and naysayers, but it's also gonna bring more of your right fit people. So with Jesse, she had this really awesome thing that happened with Reach, which is pretty cool. Now, if we think about more reps, more reach, when we think about those two gears working together, holy crap, that is so awesome because.

The more someone sees you, you start building those repetition repetitions. That's when you start associating that person with the thing or recognizing that person. So let me just use the example here of like a creator online. So there's this gal that I follow, Shauna the Mom. She does these skits around motherhood. And I I found her when my algorithm knew that I had just had a baby because it's so creepy and it knows all those things, right?

So I she started coming up, but what was interesting is I watched one of her videos. I didn't follow her. I don't even think I liked it. So funny how I think about this now, how we all engage with content, but we don't actually push any buttons. We just consume it. But the algorithm knows how long we spent on the video. So then what happens is you scroll down a little bit more and it shows you another piece of their content.

And if you watch it again, it's going, okay, they like this person. Let's show it again. And what happened is Shauna the Mom creeped up on my feed every time I logged in while I was nursing my baby. And all of a sudden, Shauna the Mom, I knew her. I knew Shauna the Mom. I knew what was coming. I want to know the skits and she would publish something. I'd be like, wait, what happens next? And then I went to her YouTube channel, which by the way, I'm not someone who consumes any kind of content on YouTube.

I I seriously, I have no idea. I didn't know people like actually watched YouTube outside of one Miss Rachel, two trying to troubleshoot how to do something in a piece of technology, or for me, learning how to figure out how to feed my sourdough starter without it being all complicated, like the people on the internet were making it. But anyways, I went on YouTube and I found that she had full-length episodes on YouTube and it was the only time I ever watched YouTube. But this idea that reach, right? You reach more people, but you gotta hit it with repetitions.

So that people one start recognizing you and start associating what you do to the thing that you talk about. Now, remember earlier when I was saying if you talk about a lot of one-off things, maybe one day you talk about dogs and the next day you talk about journaling and the next day you talk about profit sharing. I don't know what these examples are, but you see how like maybe these are all kind of ideas. But if you're always talking about random things, even if you have reps and reach, people aren't really gonna tie you back to one thing.

The same thing goes, side note here, something that I think Jessie did really well. Jesse honed in on a look on Instagram. I'm gonna hit this on. Do y'all notice how she has her hair slicked back with very simple makeup? She is not glammed up, proving her whole friend vibe. She wants you like to be in that friend zone with her, not a coach, not something on a pedestal. She's usually wearing a tank top or a sweatshirt, athletic shorts.

She's got bare feet a lot on her videos. Like there is you and you can see if you scroll back, she had someone, she had her hair down, but she figured out it was just easier for her to not pick her own looks by slicking her hair back. She said, she said this in one of her Yap Challenge videos that I just I liked how I looked better with it down. So that just became my uniform. Which that's something to be said here. there's another one. what's her name? The pink sparrow.

I don't even know her name. She's Australian girl. Here's a great example of someone who has a lot of reach and has a lot of reps, but I have no idea. I think her name's Anakin. Anonka? An Anakin. I have no idea. It's an A with there's some Ks in it, but she always wears a pink suit online. Always a pink suit. She's beautiful. She's blonde. she's got great authority on her content. but when she when you repeat something over and over again or you have a visual look to go with it, people can start recognizing your stuff. And I know right now I'm talking about social media.

But I want you to think about this before. Remember the name, the game slug bug as a kid? If, like me, you're an elder millennial, you played this a lot and you love just slugging the shit out of your brother. but think about it. When you were on a road trip or you were out and about in town and you were playing slug bug, you were locked into finding every single slug bug possible. Right? Versus if you weren't looking for it, you didn't really notice it. This happens a lot. There's this phenomenon, I can't remember what it's called, but it just goes to psychology and how our brains work.

But it's the you don't really notice a car style until all of a sudden you decide you want to buy a kind of car and then you start noticing that car everywhere. This is what happens, right? So when we think about an expert or someone that we follow, if we start seeing their work, whether it's on social media or like maybe have you ever noticed someone like you remember that gal who posted the AI course, Fal Fallon, Falcon, Falker, you who I'm talking about, right? The uncommon business, I think is her business.

but just a few months ago, she launched this big AI tool. And she went to a mastermind event with Amy Porterfield and a bunch of other big players. Natalie Ellis was there, trying to remember who else was there, but they all then started talking about her launch coming up, her one-day workshop, which was a paid workshop. All of a sudden everybody was talking about it. She was running ads like crazy. And you went from

Have no idea who this chick is to she is everywhere and everyone signed up for her workshop. And then she had, I don't know, something ridiculous like a $10 million launch or something. I'm totally, I just remember it was a really big number. It could have even been bigger than that because it was, I think, a $10,000 product. But point being is you know how someone goes from I have no idea who they are to all of a sudden they're everywhere, reach and repetitions. So repetitions could be the example I used earlier of showing up on video and over again.

Or repetitions can be kind of like, I studied advertising in college and you think about impressions. So if you were to put together an advertising campaign for a company, you'd be thinking about what are all the different impressions we can have with a with a potential c like prospect or a lead? what's the cost per impressions? What are we thinking about here? So we're thinking, are we going traditional advertising like TV, radio spots, are we doing billboards, we do newspaper placements? That was back when we were just kind of tinkling and going, what is a social media thing?

But we start thinking about what are all the places you can get impressions. Because here's the thing somebody sees something one time, they're never going to remember. It takes like six, seven, eight times for someone to see the same message to actually start noticing it, which is why in marketing advertising we focus on impressions. We can apply that in our brand when we're trying to get a messaging momentum. I know it can be really hard because you don't wanna, you don't wanna be that person taking up someone's time or I I know someone and this is like a big

This is a bet, big pet peeve of mine. I'm about to say, which in my brain, as I'm about to say it, I'm already telling myself the quote, complaints leave clues. So let me tell you what I complain about and then what it tells you about me. I hate there's this person who never remembers she tells me something and then comes back and tells me the same thing, like four times in the span of a week. And for me, I've realized I.

I value people and I never want to make someone feel like I don't remember you and I don't remember our conversation. Like that to me is just so, I would never want to make I like I value people and when you're with me, I see you. I hold space for that. I might not remember the details of our conversation, but I definitely remember that we had a conversation. But when someone just blatantly just keeps repeating the same thing over and over again, that's a or at least if they don't even say, like, my God, did I already tell you this?

Like that, that's a grade out. Like, did I already tell you this? No, okay, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you keep moving, right? Then you at least honor that you could potentially have done that. But I have a friend that did that, which just tells me, like, I hate that. And I think a lot of us are like that. We don't want to ever come across as so self-absorb that we forget about the other person. So, with that, coming back to this repetition piece, so many of my clients hate repeating themselves. They feel like a broken record. And

And the and the feeling comes from, I don't want anyone to feel like, no shit, I already know I said that. Like I don't want to waste your time. But we have a sense of responsibility to take up more time and to repeat over and over again. Otherwise, it's going to get missed. And it's important, it's worth repeating. So when I say reps, when I say reach, I'm talking about like we have to be willing to say the same thing over and over again. Okay, all of this comes into we have reps, we have reach.

Let me take a breath here because holy shit, we're hitting this hard today, right? I hope I got you thinking about lots of things and you're not feeling overwhelmed to have to go do more, but you're thinking better. You're already rethinking, like, I can do this better, right? When I talk about rep when we talk about how we can get a little bit better next time. I'm hoping the way that I'm talking about this today is getting you excited of going, holy shit, I don't have to do a lot more, but I need to be a little more thoughtful and a little more intentional.

With how I show up and not just how I show up, but how I then reflect on how I show up, and not in a way where I shit on myself, but where I move myself forward to better represent myself. You notice that difference. And if you struggle with that, go to the episode where I talk about the critic, the coach, and the cheerleader. We'll link down to it in the show notes. That is the episode if you're really struggling with shitting on yourself internally.

after you show up or after you put the reps, you have a lot of shame and self-negative talk after. We have to work on that. So go back to that episode, listen to that like five times, start doing the journaling exercises that I talk about in that episode so can start working through that piece. But let's move into the third part of the mechanics of our message momentum here. Are you you with me? We have three gears reps, resonance, and reach. Or I guess it was reps, reach, this third one is resonance.

This is the one that we're gonna geek out here for a moment. And this is the one I want you to hit me up. What questions are coming up for you as I talk about resonance? Because this we're getting to communication. This is my freaking wheelhouse. This is where I geek out. This is where I want to talk a lot more about. This is where I'm thinking about creating some workshops around this to help you with it. So I I'm gonna go over this, but I'm not gonna go in super depth because I want to know.

What would be most helpful for you? So I'm gonna ask you, send me a message on Instagram at the Heather Sager and tell me what came up for you with this episode and what you want to learn more about or what questions or where you get stuck. Just ramble on me and tell me what's going on in your mind as you're listening to this next section or even this whole series that I'm doing. because I wanna know where you're stuck, where you get caught, or what you feel like you need to work through so that I can create content that works for you.

Side note while we're talking about you reaching out. If you are like loving these episodes and the comeback of this podcast, can I ask you a quick favor? Can you please take 30 seconds today and leave a review? Whether it's on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Confession, I don't know how to do this on Spotify. So hopefully that's a thing. But if you could leave a review, it means the world to me, but more importantly, it means the world to Apple Podcasts because that really s indicates a lot to the platform to then want to recommend my show.

and it means a lot to the people who are scoping it out, saying if it's worth my time. So reviews really do mean the world. If you could do that, bonus points, if you could share my episode with your audience, with your email list, whatever you feel inclined to do. The best gift that you can give me if there have been moments where I have supported you or helped you or like helped you show up better for yourself and your business, the best way you can thank me is to share this with either one other person, text it to your friend.

That's probably the best thing. Send it to your biz besti or send it to your mastermind or share it with a peer pod or post it in a Facebook group that you're in. But more importantly, tell people why it matters to you. Because a share without a reason for them to listen to, without a meaningful connection from you around why you like the show and why you're sharing it. it as ChatGPT would say, it's just noise, which is so true. So okay, there's my plea for that. All right, let's get into this last gear here resonance. When I think about the word resonance,

Resonance. What we're really talking about is this is this is where how we show up strikes a chord and it is truly magnetizing for the right person. Resonance, we're we're not trying to reach everyone and their mom, right? In the reach section, yes, we're trying to get more reach, but we're trying to reach the right people. And how we reach the right people is by resonating with the right people.

And there are five there are five areas that we can think about, the little teeth of the gears. I want you to think about resonance, boils down to five, and it's really simple. What, how, who, why, when. This is not earth-shattering, but that's the lens we're gonna come out today. What we say, how we say it, who specifically we're speaking to, why we're saying the thing that we're saying or talking about the topic we're talking about.

And when we say it in someone's journey, or when we say it at all in terms of our content. So let's let's dive into these. It was really interesting watching in Jesse Jean's Yap Challenge. It was so fascinating to me. Again, as I shared last week, I've been talking about communication for a very, very long time. I talk about how to speak, I talk about body language, I talk about tonality, I talk about facial expressions, I talk about pace, pitch.

Cadence, pause, like all those things. And I think the thing that was like so frustratingly in last week's episode, I shared that reflection I had. The thing that got me a moment when I heard people, this is what it, when I heard other people talking about how powerful it was when Jesse said the tonality, the tonality of how I speak. And I'm like,

God damn it. Literally, like now everyone's talking about tonality. and I've been talking about this for years, right? Which is obviously no slight on Jesse, but it's just so funny that it just resonated right at that moment. That one specific thing around yapping. And okay, so let's go, let's go into it.

That what we talk about, this is the actual substance of our message. Again, whether we're on social media or what I really specialize in more long-form communication, so speaking on a stage or speaking off the cuff, that's the other thing I'm really good at, is the impromptu, whether it's in a meeting or giving feedback to someone or answering questions, like being able to like the substance of what you talk about is the starting blocks of how we resonate with someone. Obviously, if we're talking about a topic that is not relevant to someone.

It's not gonna resonate. Get that? Right? It has to be something that they care about or they have an interest in. It has to be related to them. Side note, this is why they spend so much time in marketing talking about hooks, because you're trying to find that instant, this is relevant to me moment. That's what a hook is. It's worth my time. This is for me. That's the lame section on a sales page. This is for you if. Like that's what a hook is doing. That's what you're

What you're opening, that's what your substance really has to draw someone in to answer the question is is this for me? Is this relevant for me? Because our brains are constantly filtering out information and inputs. The brains are already asking the question: is this relevant or not? It most of the things, it's nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. We only have so much brain power for the things that are actually relevant to us. So we have to think about the substance of what we're talking about. Now, side tangent. Remember last week when we talked about the curse of the expert?

side tangent to that side tangent. I know I mentioned in this episode that you don't have to listen to these in order, but I've referenced the other episode multiple times. Don't worry, like you'll just still get a lot out of that other episode, but I feel the need to mention that. but when I talked about the curse of the expert and this idea that we are so close to our topic, sometimes the thing that we're talking about, well, so so good, it does not resonate with the person we're speaking to because they don't even know that it's relevant to them yet.

Because they are 17 steps back in the whole topic that they're still trying to figure out something else. So for example, let's say that you teach, let's just say you teach podcasting, right? And you get really, really focused around how to help someone how to help someone publish better show notes.

So that the show notes become searchable, so that the podcast doesn't just live to their existing audience but actually reaches more people. Ooh, there's the reach thing. Let's say you're really focused on that. Well, let's say the person is new to podcasting and they're not even worried about that. Their biggest problem for them is I'm so terrified about publishing, or I can't talk for 20 minutes long, like without scripting. I'm still just trying to get the podcast going. I'm not even thinking about repurposing and longevity and stuff yet.

So even though the topic's good, it's not going to be as relevant to a let's say early podcaster, right? So the content matters. Okay. That's number one. It's what we're talking about. Does it is is it going to resonate? But number two, how we talk does it resonate? Now I thought back and forth around this one yesterday if I wanted to use example, but I'm going to use it because as exemplified in my shows, I tell you the embarrassing inner workings of my brains. So here goes. there are certain voices that annoy the fuck out of me.

And I say this not because those voices or anything wrong with them. It just doesn't jive with my personality. So I this is what I okay, Kristen Chennowith. I think that's her name. Broadway mad respect, very, very talented. I can't stand her voice. And there's nothing wrong with her, but if I had to choose to listen to a voice on a podcast, it would not be her voice. I just, I just couldn't do it. Now, for many people, it's endearing. They love it, not for me.

Not for me. Same thing. If there is a an audiobook, I turn on a novel and the or business book, this is a better example, a business book, and the audio narrator is terrible. And I say terrible, slow, mundane, or maybe even just too smooth jazz. I need energy. I love it. Like, you know, Mike Markachikovich, what's his name? Prophet first, that dude.

He reads his own books. He totally goes off script. He's kind of jokey and funny. I love his audiobooks. John Acuff, holy shit, he is a great narrator of his books. Personality off the page. They break all the rules. They sound like a human. That's what I am attracted to. I love real, imperfect personality. I want to be like a little bit entertained and I want to have fun, right? But I do want the grounded serious. I want the yin and the yang. I know what I like to listen to. It's like, it's like taste in music.

Right. Each of us has different taste in music. Like I don't understand people who are into classical music. It's just not for me. I can appreciate it, but I don't really choose to listen to it. Same thing, like hard rap, not for me. I'm will listen to it in the car because my husband likes rap and R and B. I like not my favorite. I love Sarah Borelis. I love me singer-songwriter. I love me top forty. I love me pink. I do love a little bit country. Like I I'd like lots of music, but I definitely have my things that I'm drawn to, like the fray.

One of my favorite bands of all time. Blink 182 freaking killed that album. We're driving to and from college on a six-hour drive on weekends. Blink 182 Live, favorite album ever. I have like an eclectic thing, but you know how we all have just our preferences? The same thing happens when it comes to voices. I was just talking to a business friend this week. We were talking about what makes her different from someone who does exactly what she does. And the reality was the thing that she taught, the thing that she coached wasn't anything different, but what's different was her vibe.

And it was how she delivered. The other person was super bubbly. And this gal wasn't. And she thought maybe that means I'm a bad, like it's bad. But years ago, I remember working with a client and he was lit running his own summit. It was like a three-day event. It was him, it was paid. It was a big deal. He was gonna be selling something on the back end of it. It just was a big deal. And he had never done keynoting and holding his own big stage before. And he told me, he's like, look, I just

I don't want to come across as like rah-rah and bubbly and outgoing, because that's just not my vibe. I'm more like Barack Obama, like the chill, like the cool, calm, collected, like that vibe. And I'm like, cool. That's going to work really great because your audience is drawn to your own style and personality. That isn't it interesting how sometimes we will follow someone for the content despite.

Their personality and be like, I could actually do without that. Could you just put in writing? I just want the content. Have you ever had that before? but when you come across someone that you just jive with, oof, that's the thing. Now, I say all of this at the risk that someone's gonna think like I'm an asshole because I said I didn't like listening to Kristen Chenowith or whatever else, right? Like, call I don't care. If you think I'm an asshole, that's fine. But you have the same thing, right? We are the world, but we don't all jive with everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that.

There are certain tastes and preferences that your ears and brain and probably eyes have. Like, so what this means is it's beautiful because we all have differences in those preferences. And there's this really beautiful magnetism that happens when you find someone that you have good chemistry with. We think about that a lot of times when it comes to like a love partner. We think about that sometimes in friendships. But I want you to think about that in terms of you as an expert and a teacher and a coach.

There's chemistry between you and your audience, and they're looking for that spark, as cheesy as that sounds. So when it comes to the how, this is what we're talking about in your visuals. Like, so for me, I'm in my log cabin with this right now. Me in my log cabin with my hair and a crazy ponytail and my more casual vibes, even if my content's great, it's not gonna vibe with somebody who wants to be in this like chic, super hot.

forgive me, I don't see mean this in a derogatory way, but like Botox beautiful culture. I'm not that gal. I am more like, well, I just I'm just me. And I think you know exactly what I mean. I'm gonna create content in my kitchen. I'm gonna talk about my hot mess express. I'm gonna say things like masturbating over the minutiae like I did last week or clenching your butt cheeks like I said this week. I like I have a different style, right? And it's both just in what I'm talking about, but it's in the stories I use, the weird quirks in my voice.

The way that I speak is fast. I I just punched my microphone. Sorry about that. Glitting my hand gestures are very ferocious, apparently. My body language, my facial expressions, my tonality, it's very me. And yes, I have worked on all of it over the years. I've worked on what we call the vocal windup, where you're talking about something at a pace, and then you want to bring excitement, energy. So you change your pace and you get going and you get going and going until you pop like an orgasm and then just like have it have a minute.

Your content should orgasm a little bit, people. The fact that I just said orgasm right now is going to tell you whether or not I'm the coach for you. If you're appalled and be I sure like her, but she's just kind of crass, that she just swears too much, then I'm not your gal. And the same thing is true for you. If you want people to water, like if people want to water you down so you're more palatable for them, that is not a right fit. That is not chemistry. That is someone wanting your content, but not wanting you with it. And they are not an ideal client.

So I've gotten a lot more comfortable with this. I've gotten a lot more comfortable with this over the years. And I'm probably a little more over the top now than I have been. And yes, there have been times when I've asked myself, oof, to attract more executive clients, do I maybe need to tone it down? And the answer is fuck no. Look, I get it. If if you don't like swearing or the fact that I said orgasm now four times in the last three minutes, if that bothers you, you get to choose whether or not you want to continue to listen to me.

Or not. But that like that's that's you. That's not me. I'm not doing anything wrong here. I'm I'm delivering awesome information. I am sharing with you a lot of shit. And it's all free right here, babe. Like on this show, you're not paying me for this, but like I want you. I hate saying like Roya Valley girl. Go back to the 80s, y'all. I want you. You don't need to be like me. I want you to be a better version of you when you show up. Now, that does not mean, let me be clear.

Being more of you does not mean you need to be more or less formal. There's a difference between formality and charisma. And don't confuse those. So let's just be clear. I'm still me, but sometimes if I'm speaking on an executive stage, or just earlier, I got off the phone with a CFO for a very large corporate client that I'm working with right now. I'm not going to say any of this shit on that call. Right? Like the audience different. CFOs, they're not listening to the show. If they are, like,

Palatable, they're gonna know ha ha, quirky heather, but they also know that I'm not gonna use that kind of language when I'm on a stage with their team. There's different levels of formality, just like we're gonna dress a little differently if we're going to a black tie event versus going to brunch with our girlfriends, different level of style there. Our personalities are our personalities, but we all have different levels of formality with it. Another great example of this is I used to say I would never say the F-word on stage. Well, then I clarified, all right. I usually don't say the F-word on stage.

But I definitely don't say the F word on other people's stages. So if I'm like at an event, I don't do that out of respect, right? Unless the host is doing it or whatever else. I don't try to make a point out of that. But on my stage, if a little well placed F bomb's gonna work out a little bit and make my point, it's gonna happen. I no longer feel guilty for that. In fact, I flag the entire podcast as explicit just to cover my ass. Right. And that and that also is a telling piece. For me, the fact of marking my show as explicit, the show explicit, not just an episode.

that sends a signal out to the world that the people who are like, oof, I'm not sure. Well, they're gonna think twice. And is that going to limit my reach? Probably. But is it going to speak to and resonate more of my ideal, aka a charismatic chemistry fit client? Hell yes. This is what people are talking about when they talk about attract and repel with your marketing being more of you. It isn't about being, I hate the word, performative or

Trying to be someone that you're not of the top. Like I am 1000% authentically me talking to you like I would be talking to my friends over brunch. I talk how I talk. Now, sometimes I'm gonna talk a lot tighter. If I'm doing like right now, shit, this is already an hour and five minutes. I'm gonna tighten this shit up here. But if this was a paid presentation where someone was hiring me to come out and train my message momentum methodology, boom, look at that word. If I was teaching that, you sure as hell better know that I would tighten this shit up.

A hell of a lot more and be on par, on point, like to give that presentation with with tangibles and takeaways and blah blah blah, right? But this again is a free podcast. I am sharing with you my thoughts and ideas. The casualness of this is way higher than if I was formally teaching it. I share that with you coming back to the how, because the way that I speak, my pace, my pitch, my facial expressions, the way I pause, my filler words, my

Just all the vocality, all like the my hand gestures, everything I talked about. It's very much me. But going back to the example of me watching myself back on video, I had to learn expression. Let me give you a really specific example here. do you ever have the have the time where like people tell you that you mumble or it's harder to make out your words? A big reason this happens, I want you to start paying attention to this to the people in your life, because now that you s like tell you this, you're not gonna be able to unsee it. But what happens is

People who mumble, if you look at their mouth, you'll notice they are barely moving their mouths. Enunciation, enunciation, the more you move your mouth, the more that you enunciate. Now I'm doing it right now when it's very over-exaggerated because I'm practicing moving my mouth a lot. But if I move over into just normal talking, it carries over without being as over the top. I want you to think about moving your mouth more. One, your face is gonna look a little bit better for it, and you're not gonna have kind of a weird expression while you're talking.

Have more expression, right? Don't be crazy, but watch yourself on video to see what you look like. Are you animated? Are you using your voice? Are you continually making the same gesture? Back when I was speaking on stage, as I found earlier on, I'd record myself, I was fumbling with a clicker in my hand all the time. Or if I wore jewelry, I used to spin my rings or touch my necklace or play with the backs of my earrings. And I had no idea I was doing any of this while I was on stage.

But I had the courage to watch the game tapes to see holy shit, I'm doing that a lot. So you know what I did? Stopped wearing all gerbility on stage until I can control myself and be more present. And then I slowly added it back in. Same thing, hand gestures. I sucked at them on stage and then I sucked with them on video. I noticed it and then I started practicing what I can do with my hands. I have very, very long limbs. So I feel a bit of a like monkey like.

like ridiculous with my hands to my sides. I was so uncomfortable. So I had practice it, which is why I have a whole hand gesture video on YouTube, which if you go watch it, it's in my early days of video. So you'll notice my vocal tone is a little higher and I'm trying to convince and have an energy on it. And I cringe when I watch that video, but the content's good. But you'll see a little bit of evolution in that. But the hand gesture, the content still stands. But I want you thinking about how you communicate creates this vibe that creates chemistry.

With your right fit person. And just because your chemistry doesn't work with some people, or because you don't jive with others' content that you consume, like there is that chemistry piece. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't be afraid to be a little bit off-putting as long as you're sounding like you. a great example of this, I'll tell you my client Liz Will Cox, she and I work back together in 2020.

And we still keep in touch. She's doing freaking awesome. She was in my program. We created her talk and she went on to like dominate the world, which she literally said she was going to do when we had our one-on-one call. But I remember she and I were talking about how she has, she has a high-pitched voice. She has a very specific voice. And at first she was a little worried that it wouldn't translate well. Well, Liz leaned into more Liz. She

Owned her voice. She worked on her delivery skills. She worked on her content. She worked on be really connecting with people. She had her own cool vibe and style. And Liz's voice is now a signature part of her brand. I don't know that she would say that, but I would definitely say that. Like Liz is exactly who Liz is, and it's exactly how Liz has created such a phenomenal brand online. If you don't know Liz Wilcox, she's built a very successful email marketing membership that's $9 a month.

And it's so wild. She has like over 3,000 members. Like it's crazy. She's done over 300, I think now probably 400 podcast appearances and stage appearances since we initially worked together, which she had huge staff right on. Our first Zoom call, she had hives all over her chest. But the reason why I share this with you is when we started, she was worried that her delivery, the how she spoke, was gonna be a hindrance. And now I think it's just a really great part of who she is. She she has great chemistry with her audience. Okay, the what, the how, the who.

I'm gonna touchly touch on these ones really lightly so we can wrap this up here. The who. This is you stopping to like stop speaking to everyone generically or even speaking to a group as hey guys, hey everybody, y'all. Start talking to you. Who is the one person you're talking to right now? I know you know this and I know you've conceptually thought about this, but I wonder if you were to go back and read your content or watch your videos, how true is it that you're speaking to your one person?

Or are you subconsciously trying to make your thing appease to more people? That's my challenge question for you. Start getting super freaking focused on who you're speaking to and tap into, like literally, what are the words that they are saying, both externally and in their inner dialogue, that they'd be appalled that someone knew. That's how you pull your right fit person in and really resonate. That's where you get the like, holy shit, you're in my head.

Effect, which side note, if you want to hear more on that, we can definitely dig in. So just send me a message. Okay. The fourth, we have the what, the how, the who, the why. What I want to bring up on this little notch here. When I say the why of resonance, this is the fact that people can sniff out your intentions so easily. So this is why when you say, I'm just here to drop value and serve, but really you need to book clients next month, people can feel that.

And they feel that through your energy, which is displayed by how you speak. So your why, if you are not being truthful to yourself and/or others, and I say self meaning that if you're just saying, but I just want to serve, but deep down you're like, but I need to make some fucking money, you are not in congruency. And it's gonna come out in your voice. It's gonna come out in your facial expressions, it's gonna come out in your lack of conviction. You're gonna try to convince. You picking up what I'm putting down?

So, this is where you need to be much more clear on your why. And it's cool to speak your intentions. I mentioned this last week with Jessie. One of the reasons why she was so incredible showing up, and she even exemplified it this week on stories, is she's been very, very clear that her intention was to monetize this account and provide for her son, making money and obviously making an impact in the world, but making money for her family was her number one goal, and she's been transparent from that day one. Even yesterday, it was a story I saw.

Somebody was like, it's very clear what you're doing with this post. She posted about, sorry, I punched the microphone again. she posted about how she wanted to shout out her her in per like her friends and family, the people who knew her in her personal life, because they were really cheering her on. She wanted to know, I see you. But she was posting that because she wanted people, other people to see it so they would also support the people in their lives, right? She had that. But somebody posted, like, we see what you're doing here. You're just trying to make it sound like you're a friend, but really you're in it for the money.

So she posted her stories. Well, no shit. I'm in it for the money. I've been very clear for this all day long. Don't question my intentions because I am so freaking clear with my intentions. And it's just cool. It's a cool vibe, right? And so I want you thinking about like you might be very true that I money isn't my number one. Making impact's my number one, but I want to make money. Like just be clear around one, why you're doing this, but two, be very clear for yourself.

Why are you sharing the thing that you're sharing and what's in it for the person you're talking to? Are you just sharing because you have this cool thing that you know and it'd be cool for other people to know? Or are you sharing this because they have these feelings too? They have this problem and this thing that you learn is going to help them too. I want you to be more intentional around, but why are you sharing this? And then the last, when I want you thinking about when it comes to resonating, when you're sharing the information. And what I mean by when is

Think about, remember earlier when I said in the curse of the expert, sometimes we talk about things that people aren't ready to hear. Just because we want to talk about them doesn't mean that it's going to resonate. So what we can do sometimes, if there's a piece of content we want to talk about, the question we need to ask ourselves is, what is our person that we're speaking to? What are they dealing with right now that this relates to? And what we f shift is we start shifting into the when of when this matters for them.

Or what we can do is we can use an example of when you experience X, Y, and Z, here's what happens, or here's what's happening. Tie in to a specific point in time or a specific phase in their journey or a specific problem they're facing to tap into the when. Because when we're when, like when, not when, excuse me, what I was saying here. because what happens is when we're talking about things generically, but we're not anchoring it down to either a moment in time or a specific problem.

That they're having, even if the problem's not now, it's a problem they've experienced in the past or one that might be coming in the future. When we call that out, that solves the this is relevant for me, or I can see how this will be relevant to me and then I'm paying attention. All these things tap into resonance. And I and I think overall we just think, I just have to show up more. I just need to get a good hook so we can get in front of more people. But the real gear that's going to make your unique message.

And your unique vibe really do the work for you to build momentum. It's your ability to resonate with the right person. And that's the work that I'm deeply, deeply committed to helping you with. We'll talk about that more on the show, but just overall, like, I want you to get momentum. You do such great work and you have such great experience. More people should know about you. But just because they should doesn't mean that they will. And it is your responsibility to do the work.

To put in the reps, to be aware of your reach, and then build the skill set and the awareness of how you currently communicate and how you can refine it to show up even better so you can make the impact you want. Whoa, this episode was just as long as last one, but I I I know this one is going to resonate deeply, deeply with you. I don't know why, but my phone is ringing. It's because I didn't have my phone turned off.

So we're gonna wrap it here. So I hope this one just slapped right at the right time, aka the cool kids say for resonating. I'd love to hear from you on Instagram. As always, please reach out and tell me what stood out for you the most and also what questions are popping up from this. We'll call this a wrap on my debrief of the Jesse Jean launch, but more importantly, how you can get more momentum with your message as an expert. All right, friend, I'll see you again next week.