WEBVTT 00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:14.000 This podcast is a ministry of Grand Parkway Baptist Church, helping people know, enjoy, and glorify God. 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:18.960 For more information about Grand Parkway, visit GrandParkway.org. 00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:26.000 Thank you. 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:30.960 You'd be happy to know I took my earrings off. 00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:36.320 I had no idea what was going on. 00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:48.159 On a dark and early May morning in 2016, a text message from a neighbor came into my cell phone at 5 15 a.m. 00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:51.039 What's going on at Hank's house? 00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:52.399 Are you okay? 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:57.759 But my phone was turned off and in the other room, and so I did not get the message. 00:00:58.159 --> 00:01:01.600 Peaceful sleep sounds echoed from the children's rooms. 00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:03.840 Even the dogs were sleeping. 00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:21.280 My Bible was open with my notebook in hand, and I started my devotions that morning as I have been doing for the past 20 years, and as Ken and Floyd Smith modeled for me, praying that the Lord would open my eyes to see wondrous things in his word. 00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:30.640 I typically intersperse prayer with Bible reading and note-taking, and in the morning I tend to pray in concentric circles. 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:38.000 I start by confessing my sin, seeking deeper repentance, praying that the Lord would increase my love for him. 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:51.359 I long for the Lord to grow me in holiness, to give me courage to proclaim Christ in word and deed as a living epistle, and to make me a more loving wife and mother and friend. 00:01:52.239 --> 00:02:01.200 I then pray for my family, the church, my neighbors, my nation, foreign missions, missionaries, and I thank the Lord that he is risen. 00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:05.040 I thank the Lord for the covenant of which I am a part. 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:10.319 With notebook open and Bible open, I pray through names and situations. 00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:17.120 Well, that morning, my prayer time stopped at the concentric circle of neighbor. 00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:20.639 And I was praying for my immediate neighbor, Hank. 00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:35.120 A typical morning, except for the phone that was in the other room, continued to receive text messages alerting me that something was terribly, dreadfully wrong in the house across the street. 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:39.680 The house of the man for whom I was praying. 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:47.520 Our house and Hank's house share a dead end that stops where two acres of woods open up. 00:02:47.759 --> 00:02:55.199 When Hank's moving van first backed down the driveway in 2014, he was a self-described recluse. 00:02:55.759 --> 00:03:04.400 He worked in his yard digging ditches, these perfect concentric circles, for reasons no one knew. 00:03:04.639 --> 00:03:06.479 He played loud music. 00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:12.800 He occasionally received cell phone calls that got him fuming mad and shouting obscenities. 00:03:13.120 --> 00:03:24.000 So, truth be told, when Hank's moving van first parked in the driveway, he was not the neighbor that I had prayed for. 00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:28.080 But he was the neighbor that God gave us. 00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:31.919 Shortly after he moved in, we discovered that he had a dog. 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:41.120 Not just any dog, but a 100-pound pit bull who ran the streets without collar or tags. 00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:51.120 Every neighbor that I know remembers seeing our life flash before our eyes the first time we met Tank. 00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:59.199 And then adding to that, Hank did not cut his lawn for three months. 00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:01.120 This is Durham, North Carolina. 00:04:01.280 --> 00:04:02.560 Lots of rain. 00:04:02.879 --> 00:04:06.080 In three months, your yard is a meadow. 00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:07.599 It's not a yard. 00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:11.599 No regular mower could tackle the cleanup job. 00:04:11.759 --> 00:04:16.879 By the time he was fined by the city, we couldn't even help him with that chore. 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:26.079 So while Hank was not the guy we had prayed for, we trusted that Hank was the neighbor God had planned for us. 00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:29.600 Good neighboring is at the heart of the gospel I know. 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:30.959 I shared with you last night. 00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:40.399 I came to Christ in no small part because I had a Christian neighbor who went to the ends of the earth to drag me into the kingdom. 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:45.040 So we we tried to get to know Hank. 00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:58.319 You know, we we we brought the kids and the dogs, we had a little note card, our names, phone numbers, email, a little homemade loaf of bread, ding dong, red rang the ding, you know, rang the doorbell and introduced ourselves. 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:04.639 And Hank waved and took the bread, and the next thing he did was dismantle his front doorbell. 00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:07.120 And I took that a little personally. 00:05:07.759 --> 00:05:09.680 I took it a little personally. 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:19.519 So we we prayed for Hank, and gossip started to spring up in this neighborhood about this man who did not fit in here. 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:23.279 And then one day Tank ran away. 00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:27.360 And one day turned into a night, and a night into a week. 00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:35.519 And many neighbors expressed profound relief, mostly on the next door app, that that large gray pit bull wasn't running the streets. 00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:40.079 I kind of kid around in our next door app, it's a social media app that organizes neighbors. 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:45.920 You there are two phrases that come up almost daily: lost dog and damn dog. 00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:55.759 I'm it so anyway, I can just tell you that Tank's category was the latter, and people were relieved that he wasn't there. 00:05:56.240 --> 00:06:04.879 But in the crisis of a lost dog, one who was also the closest companion of a lonely man, the inkling of a friendship began. 00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:09.759 We went across the street and we offered to find Tank. 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:15.040 We we posted all of his information on Nextdoor and every other place we could think of. 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:18.560 And my 10-year-old daughter walked up to Hank and said, Mr. 00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:22.720 Hank, I'm I'm praying for Tank, and God's gonna hear my prayers. 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:31.040 And then about a week later, Tank was finally found. 00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:35.360 And we became very fragile friends. 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:42.959 Hank actually gave me his cell phone number and his email address, and he said, Rosaria, please don't abuse this. 00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:57.040 Eventually we were eating meals together, even spending holidays at our table and sharing life. 00:06:57.600 --> 00:07:05.680 Tank became almost like our dog, and um, and it was an unusual friendship, but it was a genuine friendship. 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:14.399 We had many opportunities to share the gospel with Hank, and Hank had many opportunities to tell us what his life had been like. 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:20.800 He had severe clinical depression, post-traumatic stress disorder from having served time in the military. 00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:29.839 He had actually lived as a homeless man prior to his mom buying the house across the street. 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:34.399 Hank loved the woods as much as my children and I do. 00:07:34.560 --> 00:07:39.040 And as winter opened into spring, our households kept track of things. 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:52.480 We kept tallies of our nesting red-shouldered hawks, our calling American toads, our migrating and returning robins, blue jays, woodpeckers, tohees, our ambling box turtles. 00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:59.199 Hank helped us chop down dead trees in our woods, always checking the trees for babies first. 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:09.519 In his garage, he always had the knick-knack that I needed, a little flashlight for running at night, or a little hook that would help you hang on to your doggy bags. 00:08:09.759 --> 00:08:14.160 Hank was uneven, and we assumed that his depression made him so. 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:26.240 Sometimes he would stay secluded in his home for weeks, and the only sign of life was that his garbage can would go up to the front of the house on the designated day. 00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:30.480 And then Amy moved in about a month prior to this. 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:34.159 Pink hair, twiggy, skinny. 00:08:34.399 --> 00:08:42.639 She wore the sunken eyes and the pocked skin and the manic unpredictability of a drug addict. 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:52.159 As neighbors were texting my turned-off cell phone about commotion at Hank's house, I was sitting at my desk praying for my neighbors. 00:08:52.399 --> 00:08:53.840 And that's when I noticed it. 00:08:54.080 --> 00:09:02.960 Burley men ducking around the back of my house wearing orange shirts marked D E A, Drug Enforcement Agency. 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:08.480 Serene morning darkness exploded with the unnatural intrusion of police lights. 00:09:08.639 --> 00:09:10.080 And then I saw it. 00:09:10.320 --> 00:09:16.480 Yellow tape marking a crime scene appeared everywhere. 00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:20.639 I left my Bible open to Psalm 42 and ran to get Kent. 00:09:20.879 --> 00:09:26.159 I grabbed my phone and I looked, and text messages started to bounce to life. 00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:28.159 What's going on at Hank's house? 00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:31.600 Is there really a meth lab across the street from you? 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:42.320 So what does the conservative Bible-believing family who lives across the street from a meth lab do in a crisis like this? 00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:52.960 I will tell you, it's a bit of a spoiler alert, but I will tell you the first thing you do is you thank God for the modest pajamas you're wearing. 00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:58.639 You will never despise an LL bean coupon again. 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:02.320 So that's one thing you do. 00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:04.559 But now I'll get to the serious stuff. 00:10:04.799 --> 00:10:06.240 I mean, what should we do? 00:10:06.399 --> 00:10:07.360 How should we live? 00:10:07.519 --> 00:10:09.279 How should we think about this? 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:16.240 Well, we could barrack ourselves in the house and remind ourselves and our children that evil company perverts. 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:24.480 And like the good Pharisees that we are always poised to become, we could just thank God that we're not like those evil meth addicts. 00:10:25.200 --> 00:10:32.320 We could envelop our home in our own version of yellow crime scene tape, giving the message that we're just better than this. 00:10:32.559 --> 00:10:33.840 We make good choices. 00:10:34.080 --> 00:10:36.559 We would never fall into this mess. 00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:39.600 We could surround ourselves with fear. 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:42.240 I mean, what if the meth lab had exploded? 00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:43.360 They do that, you know. 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:46.080 Our homes are pretty close together in Durham. 00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:50.639 The room closest to the meth lab was my daughter's bedroom. 00:10:51.039 --> 00:10:53.840 What if my daughter had been hurt or even killed? 00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:56.799 And we could berate ourselves with criticism. 00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:02.720 How could we have allowed this dangerous and unstable man into our hearts and into our home? 00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:06.960 But that, of course, is not what Jesus calls any of us to do. 00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:23.919 And so as neighbors filed into our front yard, which had become front row seating for an epic unfolding drama, I scrambled eggs, put on a big pot of coffee, set out every Bible in the house, opened the door, and invited them all in. 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:29.519 I mean, who else but Bible-believing Christians can make redemptive sense of tragedy? 00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:36.080 Who else can see hope in the promises of God when the real lived experiences look so dire? 00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:40.879 Who else knows that the sin that will undo me is mine? 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:46.639 Even when my neighbor's sin has crime scene tape wrapped around it. 00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:53.440 And where else would a Christian home should neighbors go to in times of unprecedented crisis? 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:59.919 Where else is it safe to be vulnerable, lost, scared, helpless? 00:12:00.960 --> 00:12:10.879 If we close the door and draw the shades, how can we really teach our children to apply biblical faith to the hard facts of life? 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:20.399 A process that cancels out neither reality, as it begs Jesus for help and hope and redemptive meaning and saving grace. 00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:36.720 If we were to lock the doors and numb ourselves through media intake or go into these remote monologues about how we always knew Hank was a bad man and we always make good choices, well, what legacy does that leave to our children? 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:40.240 See, here's the thing about soothing yourself with self-delusion. 00:12:40.399 --> 00:12:42.320 The only body deluded is you. 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:44.399 Everybody else sees through it. 00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:53.759 Well, I had other things to do on my list of things to do that day, but none more important than I what I was finding myself doing. 00:12:54.000 --> 00:13:04.799 Gathering in distraught neighbors, helping the children, mine and others, to process this, praying for my friends, Hank and Amy. 00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:07.279 And that's when I realized it. 00:13:08.000 --> 00:13:10.000 I didn't even know Amy's last name. 00:13:11.919 --> 00:13:18.080 Well, neighbors were quick to let the police know that we were Hank's only known friends and probably knew something about the meth lab. 00:13:23.360 --> 00:13:27.519 We provided them with Hank's mom's phone number. 00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:35.919 And one of the officers was a pit bull lover, and she said, pit bulls sprung from meth labs do not last long in the county pound. 00:13:36.639 --> 00:13:40.960 And so Kent, and this is always hilarious, Kent is not the animal lover. 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:44.480 So he's somewhat the animal like neglector. 00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:47.039 So when he actually said this, it was shocking. 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:52.320 Kent assured the police that we would take care of Tank for as long as was needed. 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:55.120 Now, let me tell you, Tank is enormous. 00:13:55.279 --> 00:13:57.840 It's like living with a couch that moves. 00:13:58.080 --> 00:13:58.399 Okay? 00:13:58.720 --> 00:14:04.559 Like if I if I straddle over him and he's asleep and he stands up, I'm airborne. 00:14:06.879 --> 00:14:18.000 Well, the police were quick to tell Kent that that dog would be dead two times over before Hank was going to get out for this one. 00:14:19.279 --> 00:14:33.120 All morning our house was like a trauma center, with the DEA and other members of the police team using our kitchen and bathroom, and with neighbors coming in in a steady stream of concern, lament, and criticism. 00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:38.960 By one o'clock, the DEA told us that they were leaving to open the meth lab. 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:47.200 That meant that they would open all the windows and all the doors and that the noxious toxins would be released into the air that we breathe. 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:50.399 And we were all told to stay inside until 6 p.m. 00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:56.000 Especially given the proximity of our house to Hank's, the warning was stern. 00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:02.240 Well, quite frankly, I was relieved at that point because I thought all of you complaining neighbors are going to go home now. 00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:04.159 That's what you would think, right? 00:15:04.559 --> 00:15:04.879 No. 00:15:06.080 --> 00:15:11.200 No, some did leave, but others stayed the afternoon inside with us. 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:19.519 Grief and sadness and betrayal mingled with the tangled feeling of entrapment. 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:22.000 My neighbors were fuming. 00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:30.960 Bill, pacing in my kitchen, finished up the last drop of coffee and turned to me and said, Rosaria, would you like to know the problem with you Christians? 00:15:31.519 --> 00:15:34.639 And I thought, well, no, not really, but you're going to tell me. 00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:40.799 And he said, The problem with you Christians is you're so open-minded about people, your brains are falling out your ears. 00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:44.320 And I thought, oh, could you write that about me on social media? 00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:45.440 That could actually. 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:47.840 You don't actually know who I am. 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:50.559 I have this other life that would really benefit me. 00:15:52.240 --> 00:16:01.120 But it really takes a certain amount of spiritual gifting to have your neighbor finish the coffee and insult you in the same gulp. 00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:02.960 That is my spiritual gift. 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:06.320 It never shows up on those little tests, those fill-in-the-blank ones. 00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:10.720 Sissy, a wholesome older woman, just held me and cried. 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:15.360 And more than one neighbor asked, Did you know about the meth lab? 00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:21.279 And more than one neighbor accused, how could you not have known about the meth lab? 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:23.519 So the jury was in. 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:32.559 The neighbors hated Hank, and they really weren't sure how they felt about us, knowing that we called Hank our friend. 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:37.679 The press swarmed our neighborhood with relentless fixation. 00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:41.519 Ours was the largest drug bust in Durham for the year. 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:46.320 And if you know anything about Durham, North Carolina, that's like a that's like a record. 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:48.639 Because there's a lot of them. 00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:57.919 And the press did what it does best, stirred up unrest, left neighbors feeling raw and exposed and frightened. 00:16:58.159 --> 00:17:09.279 And by the day's end, when it was safe to open our windows and doors, and when our neighbors finally left, we gathered our children and we prayed for Hank. 00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:19.119 And after we tucked the children and dogs in bed, for that first moment, Kent and I could actually look in each other's eyes and talk about what happened. 00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:22.880 We we tried to piece this together. 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:26.319 I mean, how could we have missed a meth lab across the street? 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:32.240 Was Hank a quirky, depressed Hank, a dangerous man? 00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:37.039 Kent looked at me and said, Would you have done any of this differently? 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:39.359 I mean, befriending Hank. 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:41.279 And I knew what he meant. 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:44.400 I mean, for the past two years, our neighbors had been warning us. 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:53.519 They'd been telling me it was dangerous to take walks with this man and that he was unpredictable and they they didn't like him and his dog was dangerous. 00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:56.880 And I don't know, were they right and we wrong? 00:17:57.200 --> 00:17:59.039 I mean, it sure seemed so. 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:01.920 But I said no. 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:02.559 No. 00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:06.000 Kent Jesus dined with sinners, and so do we. 00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:07.200 We must. 00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:09.519 Right, Kent said. 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:16.960 But being known as a friend of sinners has an edge to it that I have never experienced before this very moment. 00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:19.279 And that edge is very sharp. 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:23.039 And that edge was ours now, whether we liked it or not. 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:24.880 And what is that edge? 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:26.079 Well, it's this. 00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:33.519 When Christians throw their lot in with Jesus, we lose the right to protect our reputations. 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:39.279 When you love the stranger, you become strange. 00:18:40.319 --> 00:18:45.200 There is simply no way to love the stranger without losing some skin in the game. 00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:53.119 Well, we stayed up late, which for me is actually a Herculean effort, but we with a cup of coffee I could manage it. 00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:55.920 We stayed up late and we wrote two letters. 00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:01.759 One to Hank, reminding him of our friendship, our love, and the promises of God. 00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:14.799 And the second was an open invitation to all of our neighbors, that would be all 300 households, inviting them to come to our home for a cookout on that Lord's Day after church. 00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:20.480 We posted this net this invitation on the next door app, and it went out to everybody. 00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:25.759 Now, this might sound excessive, but we do this a lot. 00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:27.200 All right, we do this a lot. 00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:28.400 We just invite everybody. 00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:32.319 And I want you to know three things happen when you invite everybody. 00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:34.480 And the third thing is Kent's favorite thing. 00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:35.920 The first two are my favorite things. 00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:39.680 Number one, literally everybody feels loved. 00:19:39.920 --> 00:19:46.720 All right, you will get letters from women who are shut in and widowed, who need to a trip to the doctor, and you will have never known it. 00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:57.759 You will get uh notices from people who need childcare, you will get you will get uh private messages from people saying, I've never been invited to anything since the divorce, you have no idea how this made my day. 00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:59.680 That's the first thing that will happen. 00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:03.119 The second thing that will happen is you're casting a wide net. 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:07.759 When you do open and regular invitations, you cast a wide net. 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:16.400 And for people, your neighbors who are afflicted with abuse or addiction, they might not be able to tell you when they're going to be sober or safe. 00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:19.599 They might not be able to say, yeah, next Tuesday at seven is great. 00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:25.200 But an open invitation that's a little bit on the fly, if they're sober or safe, they're gonna show up. 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:33.279 And the third thing that happens, and this is Kent's favorite, and maybe you engineers in the audience will appreciate this, it's called the 10% rule. 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:38.640 When you invite everybody on the fly, about 10% of the people are gonna be able to come. 00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:40.079 And you know what? 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:45.519 That's a pretty manageable group when you have a large backyard and it's summer. 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:51.200 And if we actually run out of hot dogs, you know, that might be the best thing that ever happened to us, right? 00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:53.599 So we sent it out. 00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:57.680 Uh, and um we I mean, we were very simple. 00:20:57.759 --> 00:20:58.559 This is what Kent wrote. 00:20:58.720 --> 00:21:02.880 Dear neighbors, let's meet for a cookout at the Butterfields this Lord's Day at 3 p.m. 00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:05.119 We have a lot to talk about. 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:09.680 I'll cook burgers and hot dogs, and we will serve sweet iced tea. 00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:12.319 Please bring lawn chairs and bring friends. 00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:14.559 Love in Christ, Kent. 00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:21.839 Well, we weren't sure what was going to happen that Lord's Day when we came home, but we weren't ready for this. 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:25.200 By the time we came home, the party had already started. 00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:41.519 I thought maybe there was a graduation party going on, and my, you know, there were picnic tables and and tents, and there, you know, the the kids were already playing, the neighbor kids had already figured out how to use our hose and put water balloons together. 00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:45.440 Um we just pretty much had to show up. 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:48.400 Um, and we didn't do any of this. 00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:52.960 And as soon as we walked in the door, neighbors started to appear in all directions. 00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:54.160 And it was amazing. 00:21:54.319 --> 00:21:56.480 These people were mad at us, remember? 00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:59.759 But here we were, familiar faces, open arms. 00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:08.079 Bouquets of homegrown irises in a little girl's apron, a warm pan of home-baked beans. 00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:10.799 We embraced each other warmly. 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:24.559 After coolers of water and sweet iced tea were poured over ice, Kent brought the first tray of burgers and hot dogs hot off the grill to the red checkered tablecloth, and he gathered us all to the front yard. 00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:34.960 The timing was perfect as voices had already started to rise in disagreement over the meaning of Hank's odd behavior and the discovery of the meth lab. 00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:40.079 Standing in the middle of the driveway, I watched Kent do what I've seen him do many, many times. 00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:44.079 It's a, you don't learn it in seminary, but it's a gift. 00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:49.440 It's a combination of a sermonette and a table address. 00:22:50.079 --> 00:22:55.920 Kent delivered this combination of a sermon on loving your neighbor and blessing our food. 00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:58.240 And we had a hungry captive audience. 00:22:58.480 --> 00:22:59.920 So they had to listen. 00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:08.480 Hank was our neighbor, Kent said, and Jesus calls us to love our neighbors, all of our neighbors, both the ones that are easy to love and the ones that are not. 00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:13.279 Kent described Hank as a mild-mannered recluse who helped us chop down trees. 00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:18.799 And Kent shared some of Hank's time in the military and his experience as a homeless person. 00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:25.599 And Kent warned us of the destructive power of gossip and failing to love each other. 00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:29.920 And he reminded us that drug addiction makes slaves of men. 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:37.920 He told our angry neighbors that we are all capable of the most heinous of sins. 00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:46.799 And Kent let it be known to all that the same power that raised our Lord Jesus Christ from the grave is bestowed on all who repent and believe. 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:50.559 Hank's story is not over yet, Kent said, and neither is yours. 00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:53.759 Jesus saved sinners just like us. 00:23:54.400 --> 00:24:04.160 After we ate and kids ran off for water gun fights, can I just tell you that there is nothing like crime scene tape as a prop for some of the games? 00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:06.400 There is nothing like it. 00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:09.200 You cannot replicate it. 00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:15.519 After that went on for a while, Kent gathered us back to the driveway to talk. 00:24:15.680 --> 00:24:22.160 Some of our neighbors had become what only the King James captures properly, Roth. 00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:24.960 They had become Roth. 00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:32.319 And now directly against Kent and his sympathetic interpretation of Hank. 00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:35.519 Others were simply worried about property values. 00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:38.559 And as adults talked, I know, right? 00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:48.000 As adults talked, you know, the children who weren't enjoying the crime scene tape for a prop were just flopping on the warm grass, petting Tank's belly. 00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:49.680 This is an enormous dog. 00:24:50.240 --> 00:25:01.839 And as the sun set, I brought mugs with steaming coffee out, and people lingered over these risky conversations, these risky friendships that we were all forging here. 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:03.759 We were not agreeing to disagree. 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:06.960 We were disagreeing and sticking it out. 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:16.880 We were coming together in spite of strife, betrayal, and disagreement about who Hank was and about who we are. 00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:24.240 And we stood there drinking coffee and picking at potato salad until it was too dark to see your fork. 00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:32.480 Neighbors embraced as they departed, tentatively but genuinely, wiping away runaway tears with the back of a hand. 00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:41.119 One neighbor told Kent that she had been a little girl in a Baptist church once long ago, who believed what Kent said about Jesus saving sinners just like us. 00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:46.160 That had been thirty years ago, and she wondered, is Jesus still waiting for her? 00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:58.079 Another neighbor said that the pastor of his church had talked that morning about the meth lab in Durham, but he hadn't put a personal face on it, either the personal face of Jesus or the personal face of Hank. 00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:05.599 And another woman said that at work that week she heard that rotting in prison for life would be the just outcome for that awful man. 00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:13.200 And our neighbor told her colleague that Hank's Christian neighbors would stick with Hank, because that's what Christian neighbors do. 00:26:13.839 --> 00:26:25.519 It was a procession of hope, a vision of promise, a drop of expectation that Jesus will make something good out of all of this for Hank and for the rest of us. 00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:34.720 Well, after the all-neighborhood barbecue, the cleanup of a meth lab began to take place in real time, right before our eyes. 00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:40.480 It seemed that as soon as neighbors started to heal, something else happened that just opened raw the wound. 00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:45.839 The front door of Hank's house faces our front door, and so we could not miss anything. 00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:49.359 Every gory detail was just laid bare before us. 00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:57.200 Meth is toxic, and anything in the house, including floorboards and walls, were removed and destroyed. 00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:04.240 Dumpsters filled the driveway, hauling away personal treasures from a life lost to us. 00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:08.000 As the children in the neighborhood watched, they grieved. 00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:11.519 Children are not insensitive in the ways that adults are. 00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:21.359 They feel the acute pain of losing a drum set and a dog and your favorite sweatshirt and your baby pictures and all the important stuff on your refrigerator. 00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:28.640 We helplessly watched as dumpsters filled and departed, filled and departed. 00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:33.279 And with each dumpster, the shame of getting caught was laid bare. 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:41.680 That the wages of sin is death as a palpable horror when you watch your neighbor disappear one dumpster at a time. 00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:44.160 It took seven to erase him. 00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:46.079 The children kept count. 00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:54.640 Summer turned to fall and fall to winter, and still the house remained enveloped in crime scene tape. 00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:58.559 The betrayal and grief in our neighborhood remained thick. 00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:08.400 And it was during this time that Kent and I started to practice this thing we call daily radical ordinary hospitality. 00:28:08.799 --> 00:28:17.279 Gathering our church family, especially the singles in our church and the students, alongside of neighbors, any neighbor that will come. 00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:20.319 These were open invitations. 00:28:20.559 --> 00:28:22.480 And people started coming. 00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:24.960 Sometimes they brought food. 00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:27.440 More often they brought friends. 00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:37.599 And nightly we gathered and we grieved and we talked and we opened our Bible and we opened the Psalter and we prayed. 00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:48.799 And then one winter day, when we were snowed out of church, something finally happened that broke the cycle of anger in our neighborhood. 00:28:49.119 --> 00:28:52.880 A snowstorm in the South is a disarming event. 00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:55.519 This one started at 4 a.m. 00:28:55.680 --> 00:28:56.480 on a Saturday. 00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:00.720 Snow and ice came down fast, and we were all homebound. 00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:11.200 By mid-morning, all local churches were canceling Sunday services, so Kent asked me to write something on the next door app, inviting the whole neighborhood to have worship at our house. 00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:16.000 By Saturday noon, the roads were what we call Southern Bad. 00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:26.559 Southern Bad means no cars driving on the roads, it's just kids with their boogie boards or their mama's laundry baskets going down hills. 00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:32.880 And after a few hours of sledding down the streets in laundry baskets, they all returned to our house. 00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:41.359 And I had a pile of children with snot freezing to their noses, literally melting in my homeschool room. 00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:43.680 Hospitality's not a pretty sight. 00:29:43.759 --> 00:29:44.720 I don't know. 00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:51.279 I had a pyramid of wet white athletic socks at the front door. 00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:59.279 All of my towels were used for the purpose of drying, and whatever was left of the Arnica gel, all I had was an empty squeezed-out tube. 00:29:59.680 --> 00:30:09.279 Kent kept an eye on the roads, sent the big kids out to shovel the driveways of old people, and started revising a sermon that he wanted our neighbors to hear. 00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:18.799 Kent had been praying about what to preach, about what would bring healing and saving grace and a knowledge of Jesus Christ as prophet, priest, and king. 00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:33.200 I marveled at the opportunity that God had given us in this neighborhood to proclaim Christ because of this crisis and to continue to have neighbors seek us out daily to ask, where is God in all of this mess? 00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:46.240 And even as we disappointed each other in our conflicting responses to Hank's crime, they continued to come, come to our dinner table, come for food and fellowship and Bible reading and prayer. 00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:59.599 And our family continued to pray for and write to Hank, and Kent was also able to visit Hank, although visitations in a county jail are loud and public and generally not conducive to genuine conversation. 00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:09.200 Hank always wrote back, always grateful to hear that Hank was safe and loved, and that the kids didn't despise him for what he had done. 00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:17.279 His helplessness to care for his aged mother or his beloved dog made his anxiety never ending. 00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:24.559 Hank's life of incarceration has been filled with constant worry and unyielding fear. 00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:36.559 The steady fall of snow and the steady stream of children coming in for hot chocolate, then returning to the snow to shovel neighbors' driveways or pummel each other silly was comforting. 00:31:36.799 --> 00:31:43.039 I kept my eye on the worsening weather and the great prospect of Lord's Day worship with neighbors. 00:31:43.279 --> 00:31:52.880 Many who do not know the Lord, many who would never walk through the door of our church, but they'd been walking through the door of our house now to complain to me for at least six months. 00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:55.519 Surely a barrier had been broken. 00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:04.559 I started a cook for a crowd, and Kent started working on his sermon, and we started enlisting the kids, all of the kids, to clean up our house and get ready. 00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:10.880 My my rule these days, if if I see you larking around in my house, whether you're mine or not, I give you a chore. 00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:14.240 The gospel comes with a housekeeping, but it comes with a chore chart too. 00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:16.000 You might not know that. 00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:20.880 And I keep waiting for one of these kids to say, hey, you're not my mom, and they haven't done it yet. 00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:26.160 I had a neighbor boy peel 15 pounds of potatoes the day before Easter. 00:32:26.480 --> 00:32:27.279 No kidding. 00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:30.079 I mean, this is so I'm really kind of enjoying this. 00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:37.039 But on that Lord's Day morning, I woke up and I felt nothing but panic. 00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:44.079 We had invited all of our neighbors over on a day when we really could have just had a quiet time of family devotions. 00:32:44.880 --> 00:32:47.519 What if everyone actually comes? 00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:50.960 This is not exactly outdoor barbecue weather. 00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:56.000 But the scarier thought, what if nobody comes? 00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:59.680 So I did the only thing you can do in that moment. 00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:06.480 I poured my coffee and I started my devotions, letting the word of God comfort my agitated heart. 00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:19.279 And after private devotions, I gathered the pots of soup from the screened in porch, put them on a low burner, and I gathered other things and started the rice and warmed up the bread, and the children readied the house for worship. 00:33:19.519 --> 00:33:26.559 We've been through this before, but no matter how many times we do this, it's always exciting. 00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:32.000 So after breakfast, we put away the almost finished monopoly game. 00:33:32.240 --> 00:33:44.240 We got the, you know, the coffee table set up as a makeshift pulpit, and almost as soon as Kent prayed for our days, our beloved neighbors started to walk through our open door. 00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:52.960 Missy, the two millers, Ryan and his son Ben, the three muters, the five shepherds, the Harviews, the Five Mackenzies. 00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:58.240 Susanna and Mark and Eddie had already been here because one of them had stayed overnight. 00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:01.599 Twenty-eight neighbors in all, and a gaggle of extra children. 00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:03.200 I just stopped counting. 00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:08.320 Some bring pots of soup and loaves of bread and good coffee beans. 00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:13.840 I'm serving tea and coffee and hot cocoa, and the kids are embracing their friends. 00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:19.519 My daughter is squealing with delight while my son finds places for coats and boots. 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:25.039 Bella, our small and elegant shihtzu, will soon be burying herself in these coats. 00:34:25.280 --> 00:34:30.880 We gather our mugs and our smiles and press cold cheek to cold cheek. 00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:37.519 Donna, my neighborhood prayer partner, locks arms with me and she says, This is bigger than my dreams. 00:34:38.079 --> 00:34:44.639 One set of neighbors looks across the room to see an older lady for whom they had been praying for two decades. 00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:51.760 They have longed to see her in church and in Christ, but the barriers have always seemed surmountable. 00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:57.280 But all the barriers of walking through into our house had been already torn down. 00:34:57.519 --> 00:35:03.360 They were torn down by countless meals, by countless conversations, by countless disagreements. 00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:06.559 We knew how to walk into each other's lives. 00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:15.440 It reminded me of Psalm 147, the Lord who numbers and names the stars, who heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds. 00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:18.400 Well, he also determines the number of stars. 00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:20.800 He gives them all their names. 00:35:21.119 --> 00:35:24.719 And here she is, her name among the stars. 00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:32.079 And here they are as well, these neighbors who have been praying for her to behold the fruit of 20 years of prayer. 00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:38.239 Well, Kent welcomes everyone and reminds us of the powerful role that Jesus bestows upon neighbors. 00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:45.119 People sit on the couch, the floor, the piano bench, and the chairs that the kids are bringing in from the dining room. 00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:48.480 The children distribute every Bible and Psalter in the house. 00:35:48.639 --> 00:35:50.559 We don't have enough to go around. 00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:55.280 So people have to sit close to each other, close enough to share. 00:35:55.599 --> 00:36:00.000 The yellow crime scene tape is glaring from the front window, and Kent goes right there. 00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:09.760 He tells us that he's preaching on forgiveness, on Christ's forgiveness of those who repent and believe, and of our responsive forgiveness for one another. 00:36:10.079 --> 00:36:17.920 Kent says, Jesus calls us to forgive, because without forgiveness, we cannot be agents of grace or be in the path of grace. 00:36:18.239 --> 00:36:19.280 No more small talk. 00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:25.440 Kent assembles our worship service with prayer, and then he asks us to open our Psalters to Psalm 23. 00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:33.599 Kent explains that in worship we sing a cappella without instruments. 00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:44.159 Now, some neighbors have been through this, but others are right now registering a level of fear and panic that no meth lab could ever produce. 00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:49.679 It was all about singing a cappella. 00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:53.360 Well, the melody for the psalm that we were singing is called crimmed. 00:36:53.599 --> 00:36:58.480 And for some, this Welsh rendition is familiar and elegant. 00:36:58.800 --> 00:37:05.280 We sing slowly, we savor how mere words weave reassurance. 00:37:05.440 --> 00:37:06.719 You might know this song. 00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:09.280 I think, and if you do, you can sing it with me. 00:37:14.960 --> 00:37:16.639 I'll not want. 00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:54.239 Yeah, walk in death's dark veil, yet we fear no will, for thou art with me and thy rod and staff me calm for still. 00:38:56.320 --> 00:39:07.039 My mind wanders to the documentary of Temple Grandin, a professor a professor of animal science and an autism rights leader. 00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:16.000 She studies cows, and she developed a system to move cows through a chute in order to make a slaughterhouse more humane. 00:39:16.639 --> 00:39:19.599 So paradoxical, so distasteful. 00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:25.519 And why is the pastor's wife, who's leading the music, thinking about this anyway, you might be wondering, right in the middle of a psalm. 00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:30.559 It was so symbolic to what secularism does to a culture. 00:39:30.800 --> 00:39:34.960 It makes the slaughterhouse seem inevitable and innocuous. 00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:37.199 But cows are different from sheep. 00:39:37.360 --> 00:39:39.679 Cows must be prodded from behind. 00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:44.400 Sheep must be gently led from the front and comforted from the side. 00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:48.239 That's the only way that we can walk through life and death. 00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:51.920 Jesus, our shepherd, leads gently. 00:39:53.199 --> 00:40:02.159 A table who thou hast furnished me in presence. 00:40:11.039 --> 00:40:21.360 With oil anoint, and my cup overflows. 00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:38.239