WEBVTT 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:07.599 This podcast is a ministry of Grant Parkway Baptist Church, helping people know, enjoy, and glorify God. 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:13.279 For more information about Grant Parkway, visit GrantProquay.org. 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:17.120 Holy Spirit, illuminate the Bible, cause it to come to life. 00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:22.239 It's not just words written on dainty little paper, it's it's life. 00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:25.039 And so we give ourselves to it now in Jesus' name. 00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:27.039 And everyone said, Amen. 00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:27.760 You can have a seat. 00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:31.440 If you have a Bible, I invite you to take it and open it up to uh Ephesians chapter 5. 00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:33.280 And if you don't have one, there's one on your row there. 00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:35.359 I'm on page 978. 00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:37.200 978. 00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:38.719 And I want to talk to you for our guests. 00:00:39.119 --> 00:00:41.840 We started a new series last week called Marriage Matters. 00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:44.640 And we and last week we talked about the creation of marriage. 00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:46.880 And today I want to talk about the content of marriage. 00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:48.000 The content of marriage. 00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:50.240 Every marriage relationship in this room. 00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:52.880 And for you single people, you'll get married one day. 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:57.840 For many of you, most of you, and your relationship will look every marriage is different, okay? 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:07.840 Every marriage is, I don't think they're all one size fits all, but the Bible's very clear that these things we're going to talk about today should be a part of every marriage, okay? 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:15.680 Now, before we start reading Ephesians chapter 5, I want to just say this by way of introduction, uh, and hopefully kind of sharpen your focus as you listen. 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:23.439 One of the biggest mistakes that we make in America when it comes to marriage is if you're a single person, uh you kind of look around and you think, I want to find my soulmate. 00:01:23.599 --> 00:01:24.879 I want to find my soulmate. 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:37.760 And I want to say, don't put your energy into finding your quote-unquote soulmate as much as put your energy into having a right understanding, a biblical understanding of what marriage is and what God intends for it to be. 00:01:37.920 --> 00:01:45.200 Because you can find your soulmate and invite them into a wrong definition of marriage and have a horrible marriage for a long time. 00:01:45.359 --> 00:01:50.239 And so, but you got your soulmate, and so you kind of wake up and you're like, I found my soulmate. 00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:54.400 Why is it not like because you spent too much time on that and not have a say? 00:01:54.640 --> 00:01:58.079 I want to understand what marriage is about, the content of marriage. 00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:04.079 The Bible speaks very clearly to five things that should be involved, should be a part of every marriage relationship. 00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:09.919 And it's starting in Ephesians 5, verse 22, the Bible says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:15.759 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. 00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:20.960 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:37.599 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:40.960 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. 00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:43.039 He who loves his wife loves himself. 00:02:43.199 --> 00:02:50.560 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we're members of his body. 00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:56.479 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 00:02:56.719 --> 00:03:00.800 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ in the church. 00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:07.520 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:13.759 There's five things in the in that little section that we read, and I just want to kind of walk through them as we walk through the text. 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:16.159 And the first one is simply this right here is submission. 00:03:16.560 --> 00:03:17.120 Submission. 00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:23.759 Now, when you read in verse 22 and it says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, and it goes on talking about submission. 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:27.520 It's easy, ladies, to kind of go, oh, great, here we go, talking about submission. 00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:30.719 Let me just say this: uh submission is not about I give. 00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:33.360 It's not about, okay, I give, okay, have your way. 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:39.199 Because it's not saying, oh, you're a second-class citizen, and so therefore your husband gets to make all the decisions. 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:40.240 That's not submission. 00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:42.800 It's not I give as much as I understand. 00:03:43.199 --> 00:03:43.919 I understand. 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.280 And you say, what do you mean? 00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:46.479 Let me say this. 00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:52.000 Uh, by submitting to your husband when his leadership, his headship in the home, you're requiring two things of him. 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:57.280 Number one, you're requiring him to be the person, the man that God has called him to be. 00:03:57.360 --> 00:04:02.159 And number two, you're requiring him to be the man that you need him to be. 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:05.680 It's a win-win, you say, Well, what do you mean? 00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:06.800 How do you get that way? 00:04:06.879 --> 00:04:13.520 Let me back up because to understand you've got to get the flow of thought because this earlier section in the Greek is just one long sentence, okay? 00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:18.000 So I want to go from verse 22 up to verse 15 so we can kind of pick up the flow of thought. 00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:21.680 And I want you to hear what the Bible says in verse 15 of Ephesians 5. 00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:23.920 He says, Look carefully then how you walk. 00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:28.800 Not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:33.199 Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:37.439 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit. 00:04:37.600 --> 00:04:40.319 Addressing, now here, that that's very that that's easy to understand. 00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:43.040 He says, Don't get drunk with wine, because that's debauchery. 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:50.240 That's a big byboard that means, because if you get drunk with wine, you're gonna do dumb stuff like call your ex that late-night drunk dial. 00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:53.439 Yes, there's someone over there that's done that. 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:54.480 Anybody over here done that? 00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:57.600 You're like, baby, I know it's 1.30, but are you sleepy? 00:04:57.759 --> 00:04:59.279 Yeah, I was asleep. 00:04:59.439 --> 00:05:01.120 We broke up six months ago. 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:02.879 I still love you, though. 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:04.000 No, you're drunk. 00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:05.759 That's debauchery, okay? 00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:10.240 That's you doing things under the influence that you wouldn't normally do, okay? 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:11.439 But the Bible says like this. 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:13.120 He says, hey, don't be drunk with wine. 00:05:13.199 --> 00:05:15.279 He doesn't say, hey, don't have a glass or two of wine. 00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:16.560 Enjoy you some good wine. 00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:18.399 Just don't get drunk and act stupid. 00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:22.560 He says, hey, don't get drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit. 00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:24.399 Addressing one, and we understand that. 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:26.399 Here's the part we don't understand, verse 19. 00:05:26.639 --> 00:05:32.399 Addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart. 00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:35.920 Now, if you're a man, you read that and you're kind of like, you want me to what? 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:38.000 Singing and making melody in your heart. 00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:38.560 What do you mean? 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:39.920 Sounds like the tooth fairy. 00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:40.879 Are you kidding me? 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:41.360 No. 00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:47.040 Have you ever found yourself in such a good mood that you're just humming or singing without even thinking about humming or singing? 00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:48.079 That's what the Bible does. 00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:50.800 That's how the Bible describes being filled with the Spirit. 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:55.040 See, marriage is hard and so, but and submission is impossible. 00:05:55.199 --> 00:06:03.439 But if two people are filled with Spirit, basically, that's the Bible's way of saying if this person has a relationship with God and this person has a relationship with God. 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:04.319 Now look at me. 00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:09.040 I'm not saying this person believes in God and this person has a relationship. 00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:10.720 That's not what the Bible's talking about. 00:06:10.959 --> 00:06:14.319 He says, hey, you're filled with, you're controlled by. 00:06:14.480 --> 00:06:16.639 And it's a priority that is obvious. 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:24.319 It's an inward priority that is obvious to everyone around you that, hey, my faith is a very important part of how I do life. 00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:39.360 But the Bible says, hey, to be filled with the Spirit is to have, it's kind of like, just imagine if you were a kid, seven years old, you come downstairs and you see your dad coming out of the basement and closing a door and you hear music and it sounds like a carnival, and you're like, no, wait a minute, what is that? 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:41.519 And your dad's like, well, uh, nothing. 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:43.040 You're like, no, I heard something. 00:06:43.120 --> 00:06:46.319 And you're like, well, your mom and dad have a carnival in the basement. 00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:47.920 We just haven't told you all these years. 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:55.360 And you went downstairs, and there's like the bearded lady and the fire-eating midget and a carousel and a ring toss and all this stuff. 00:06:55.519 --> 00:07:00.000 And for seven years of your life, you lived, and that was you never knew that existed. 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:02.560 Would you not be just living with your parents? 00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:05.279 Like, why didn't you tell me? 00:07:07.439 --> 00:07:08.800 I wish you could see your faces. 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:11.040 Y'all, like, how you gonna connect this to the Bible? 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:12.800 Let's go, right? 00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:16.160 Let's see that, let's see you connect this dot there, ADD boy, okay? 00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:19.279 I forgot to take my medication this morning, but let me see what I can do. 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:23.120 The Bible says being filled with the Spirit when it says singing and make it melody in your heart to God. 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:25.040 It means that there's such an inward reality. 00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:31.279 It's like you got a carnival going on in here, and you're just kind of like, whoa! It's hard to explain. 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:38.079 It's like I was in Walmart about 10 days ago, and I'm I'm I'm not even aware, and the lady checking me out, and she goes, Somebody's in a good mood. 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:41.439 And I went, Oh, it's not a mood as much as an understanding. 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:42.560 And she's like, excuse me. 00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:46.959 I said, I just I I don't know, I just think in that all my sins, past, present, and future, forgiven. 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:49.680 It just kind of makes me wonder why do I want to sin anymore? 00:07:49.839 --> 00:07:52.000 I mean, it's just been taken care of by Jesus. 00:07:52.079 --> 00:07:56.560 And she's like, eek, eek. 00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:00.560 And I'm thinking, okay, I said, I just I just made that awkward, didn't I? 00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:02.000 And she went, no, say that again. 00:08:02.160 --> 00:08:03.519 So I just said it again. 00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:09.839 And part of me, I was just really enjoying myself, and I was just kind of like, I gotta come out of this inward and I gotta have this conversation. 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:12.160 And I didn't pull out religious information. 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:17.040 I didn't say, hey, by the way, I just said that that that's at the core of all this. 00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:20.959 Is it is that God sent his son to pay the price for our sin, my sin, your sin. 00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:26.720 I don't know about you, but I I did a lot of crazy stuff, and she's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:31.600 And I said, So sometimes I find myself just unconsciously thinking about that. 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:38.639 I didn't say, because I'm filled with the spirit, I just said sometimes there's like a party goes on in my heart and it just kind of spills out. 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:41.759 And she said, Party in your heart, yeah. 00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:44.080 But no one's sipping on gin and juice. 00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:46.000 And drinking mad dog. 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:47.440 And I said, You ever drink mad dog? 00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:49.519 And she goes, Child, please. 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:53.200 I said, That is an African American, yes, isn't it? 00:08:53.360 --> 00:08:56.320 She goes, Show enough, and some boons farm, too. 00:08:56.639 --> 00:09:01.200 Listen, I drank so much boons farm one night at a party, I puked purple the next day. 00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:03.360 And she said, You had some boons farm. 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:04.879 You went up on the hill, didn't you? 00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:07.919 And all of a sudden the guy in line is like, Are y'all done with high school here? 00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:10.799 I'm like, we're just having a connecting conversation. 00:09:10.879 --> 00:09:11.279 Go ahead. 00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:12.480 I said, nice meeting you. 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:14.720 She said, Thanks for telling me what you told me. 00:09:14.879 --> 00:09:18.799 When's the last time you had a spiritual conversation with somebody and they thanked you for it? 00:09:19.360 --> 00:09:33.360 See, the Bible says to be filled with the Spirit, when you come to submission with that, because that's what he comes to, because he says, Hey, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:39.039 So when two people who have a relationship with God, they're filled with spirit, they submit to each other as Christians. 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:49.120 When the Bible says to wives, in verse 22, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, you don't think, oh, for the love of God, why is the Bible hating on women? 00:09:49.360 --> 00:09:58.720 No, the Bible's saying, hey, you require your husband to man up and stop being passive and get a clue and be intentional and be the spiritual leader. 00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:03.759 Translation, be the man the Bible says he should be and the man you need him to be. 00:10:04.080 --> 00:10:08.960 That's what the Bible means when it says, hey, wives, submit to your husbands. 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:12.960 See, the first thing that should be involved in a part of every relationship is submission. 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:14.399 Secondly, is sacrifice. 00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:16.320 You women are like, man, we got it hard. 00:10:16.399 --> 00:10:17.519 Look at verse 25. 00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:21.919 Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:23.519 Just stop right there. 00:10:23.759 --> 00:10:25.519 Husbands, love your wives. 00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:31.919 By the way, verses 25, 26, and 27 are a 59-word sentence that every man should memorize. 00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:34.559 Matter of fact, you should memorize that this week, men. 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:36.000 It's not hard. 00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:37.600 59-word sentence. 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:40.240 Have you ever spoken a 59-word sentence? 00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:42.960 I mean, it's just 59-word sentence. 00:10:43.039 --> 00:10:49.039 And it starts with husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:49.840 What do you mean? 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:51.120 That's sacrifice. 00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:54.559 There's nothing that you love that you don't give up yourself for. 00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:55.759 It's always been that way. 00:10:55.840 --> 00:10:58.720 It's the way God designed it, it's the way the Bible teaches it. 00:10:58.879 --> 00:11:06.320 Romans 5.8 says, for God has demonstrated his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:09.279 God doesn't say, I love you, take me at my word. 00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:14.080 He goes on record with this undeniable factual reality. 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:16.960 He sacrificed his son on the cross. 00:11:17.039 --> 00:11:22.240 And so just to say, hey, if you wonder how I feel, I present exhibit A. 00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:26.399 Because love always involves sacrifice. 00:11:26.559 --> 00:11:29.120 Anything you love, you have to sacrifice for. 00:11:29.279 --> 00:11:32.320 If you want to get better at golf, you love golf, you sacrifice. 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:33.919 You don't complain about that. 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:37.679 You just whatever you love, it involves sacrifice. 00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:44.960 The Bible says, men, because of this, hey, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:51.759 Now, that this is where being a Christian keeps me as a husband from keeping score. 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:54.159 About all the little sacrifices I have to make. 00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:58.639 Because here's the deal: at the root of all of this, this all is made possible to me. 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:06.000 Let me just own this myself because I this all got started because God loved me and gave his son for me. 00:12:06.159 --> 00:12:14.240 So when my life and my marriage to my wife, my relationship with my kids calls for sacrifice, I can't spit the bit like, oh, are you kidding me? 00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:18.639 I mean, I work, I got a job, I provide, I pay all these bills around here. 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:20.159 What more do you want me to do? 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:21.600 Sacrifice. 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:22.799 Sacrifice. 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:28.159 It's not this big grandiose, like, oh, here I go, dying on the cross for my family. 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:29.679 Jesus already done that. 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:36.960 It's like this morning when I got up and I opened the refrigerator to get a little glass of milk, and there was about that much milk left in there. 00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:39.120 And I went out in the garage refrigerator. 00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:41.200 See, this is a first world problem, okay? 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:46.320 I have a refrigerator in my house, in my kitchen, and I have another refrigerator in my garage. 00:12:47.759 --> 00:12:49.759 It's just, don't forget, don't miss that. 00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:51.600 We act like, oh, it's so hard here. 00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:54.480 So I walk out there, open that thing up, there's no milk. 00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:59.600 This little voice in me said, Hey, by the way, today you get to go to the grocery store. 00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:01.360 Now, my wife would gladly look up. 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:03.039 My wife does all the grocery shopping. 00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:06.879 But this little voice says, Hey, why don't you sacrifice and just make your little list? 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:11.279 Because I noticed stuff like I love hot sauce where I always have a hot sauce at my house. 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:14.480 I love, I don't like like tomato-y sweet. 00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:15.519 I like it hot. 00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:18.399 It's called hot sauce for a reason, okay? 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:20.320 And so I get hot, hot sauce. 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:21.759 And so I got me a little list going. 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.320 Give me some man snacks and honeydoing anything else. 00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:25.759 No, my wife does all that. 00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:29.679 She takes care of our house, hums along, okay? 00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:31.519 Because my wife does everything. 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:35.039 But I just sense God saying, Hey, today I want you to go to the grocery store. 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:36.480 I don't, I mean, don't let Marcia go. 00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:37.440 She's done planning. 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:38.080 You go. 00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:39.279 Here was my first thought. 00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:40.159 Went to my head. 00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:42.480 You mean after preaching three times? 00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:48.080 I know you never keep score in your relationship. 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:50.879 You never think there's no way he could be as tired as I am. 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:57.840 Remember, we had our first child, and the baby get up in the middle of the night, and Marcia reached over and lovingly tap me and kind of go, Are you Are you awake? 00:13:57.919 --> 00:14:01.840 And I'd be like, That was my signal. 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:03.279 No, I'm not awake. 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:06.320 And she would just pat me and get out of bed and go get the kid. 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:09.039 And then she caught on after about three weeks. 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:11.279 And then be like, It's your turn. 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:12.720 Like, I'm awake. 00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:13.679 I know you are. 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:15.440 Like, I'm going to get the kid. 00:14:15.519 --> 00:14:16.399 Here we go. 00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:18.399 So I just made a little note. 00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:20.240 Hey, no big sacrifice. 00:14:20.399 --> 00:14:21.360 It's inconvenient. 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:22.320 But let me tell you something. 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:24.799 Loving people, not convenient. 00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:26.159 It's not. 00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:28.639 Loving your wife, not always convenient. 00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:31.360 Not always going to be an immediate return on that investment. 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:35.039 So I'm I'm thinking, okay, I got to get this, I gotta get this, got me a little list going. 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:40.240 And then it dawns on me, because yesterday I took my 16-year-old out in the country in Fulster to shoot guns. 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:47.600 I got a nine millimeter Glock and I like to shoot stuff, and I want my kids to know, hey, your dad from about 15 yards can put it in a pattern about that big. 00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:48.960 She's like, let me see, Dad. 00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:49.600 I'm like, okay. 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:51.759 Pow, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. 00:14:52.559 --> 00:14:56.799 Two things about living in Texas: no state income tax and the castle doctrine. 00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:01.279 Unless you own a handgun, you don't know what I said just then. 00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:03.200 She's like, What's that castle doctrine? 00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:07.120 It means if your home's your castle, somebody breaks in, you can defend your home. 00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:09.679 That means center mass. 00:15:10.480 --> 00:15:12.159 I said, You know what's those targets we're shooting at? 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:13.279 They're not animals. 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:16.240 She's like, Whoa, Dad, you're a preacher. 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:22.879 I'm like, and then my buddy pulled out a real gun, an AR-15, with a big clip in it and goes, You want to shoot this? 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:25.279 Does a wild bear sleep in the woods? 00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:28.159 I was shooting like a deer off. 00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:31.840 He goes, put that chicken wing down, because if you're around a corner and that thing's out, they'll shoot you. 00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:32.879 Like, what are we doing? 00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:34.480 Like urban assault here? 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:36.720 So I'm shooting it. 00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:39.759 And by the way, as fast as you can pull the trigger, that thing, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:46.639 And he said, This gun is so powerful that you can shoot somebody, and the bullet hits them before they hear the speed of the sound. 00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:48.799 Because this thing is faster than the speed of sound. 00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:51.679 So you can kill somebody and they'll never hear it coming. 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:52.960 Don't tell me that. 00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:55.519 Don't tell me that. 00:15:55.759 --> 00:15:56.799 Because I'm just saying. 00:15:56.879 --> 00:15:59.200 And I was just like, and so I let my daughter shoot that. 00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:00.799 And I said, Hey, you want to stop at Decker's? 00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:02.480 They have a great grilled chicken sandwich. 00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:09.360 So we stopped at Decker's, had lunch, and over lunch, my daughter said, because see, you can't just as a man sacrifice with your with your wife. 00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:14.799 Because a lot of times we think, oh, I make all my sacrifices with my wife, and then your kids are like, hey dad, what are you doing? 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:20.799 And you're like, my daughter said, Hey Dad, guess what movie opened this weekend? 00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:25.840 Uh it may surprise you to know your dad doesn't keep up with that. 00:16:26.240 --> 00:16:29.200 She said, The amazing Spider-Man opened this weekend. 00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:30.559 That's all she said. 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:36.000 Because the Bible says to men to live with your wives in an understanding way, you got to understand your kids as well. 00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:37.679 So I'm like, I knew what that meant. 00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:41.440 What that meant was, Dad, don't make me go back to school not having seen the amazing Spider-Man. 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:44.240 Because all my friends will have seen it and they'll be telling me about it. 00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:45.200 I need to be in the know. 00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:47.440 And I said, How much homework do you have this weekend? 00:16:47.519 --> 00:16:49.919 She says, Well, I got a lot of TNCs for blah, blah, blah. 00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:50.960 And I said, Well, here's the deal. 00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:55.360 Get all your homework done, and Sunday night, your dad will take you to see the amazing Spider-Man. 00:16:55.519 --> 00:16:59.039 By the way, how many Spider-Man movies can you make and it still be amazing? 00:16:59.759 --> 00:17:00.639 Help me with that. 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:01.519 Let me guess. 00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:08.079 Little guy in red and blue underwear going around shooting webs, and he can beat up some new villain and save the girl. 00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:12.319 And I'm gonna lay down 20 bucks tonight to go see that. 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:19.440 And pay$9 for a Coke and$15 for a hot dog. 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:20.799 Oh yeah. 00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:22.720 And because my kid likes to go to the Palladium. 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:24.799 They have a fudge factory in a bowling alley. 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:27.359 That's like Cracker Barrel on steroids out there. 00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:32.160 I'm gonna have to sell a kidney on eBay this afternoon to finance this trip. 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:34.000 Now, why am I telling you this? 00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:42.400 Because I was like, I gotta go to the grocery store, and then I after preaching three times, and then after that, I get to go see a movie that I don't want to see. 00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:46.000 Spider-Man ain't amazing to me. 00:17:46.240 --> 00:17:48.640 I'm 49 years old, okay? 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:50.319 That interests me not at all. 00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:51.519 But here's the deal, man. 00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:52.240 Look at me. 00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:55.599 I'm training my daughter what to look for in a husband. 00:17:57.839 --> 00:18:01.599 So I want her to know, hey, I want a man that's willing to sacrifice for me. 00:18:01.759 --> 00:18:06.240 Because the Bible says, husbands love your wives as Christ love the church and gave himself up for her. 00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:12.720 This is all predicated and possible because someone laid down his life for his bride, the church. 00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:15.200 Third ingredient to marriage is sanctification. 00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:16.319 Look at verse 26. 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:17.279 You still with me? 00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:22.640 Verse 26 says, hey, that he loved the church and gave himself up for her. 00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:23.440 That's what he did. 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:38.880 Here's why he did it, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she may be holy and without blemish. 00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:40.960 Here's one of the mistakes we make in marriage. 00:18:41.119 --> 00:18:47.920 We notice something about our spouse, and we don't say anything because we kind of hope that their friends will point that out to them. 00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:49.680 And see, here's what happens, ladies. 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:51.039 I don't know if you've kind of noticed. 00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:53.920 When a man matures, he isolates. 00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:56.960 When a woman matures, she connects. 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:04.720 Let me unpack what I mean. 00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:13.440 When a man gets older, you notice your husband doesn't hang out with many men and just do guy stuff, doesn't have that many real close friends the older he gets. 00:19:13.599 --> 00:19:18.559 Because when you get older, you got some uh disposable income, you build you a man cave. 00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:28.640 And so men will play online video games with people in Scandinavia, but they won't go and have a drink or whatever with their neighbor and get to know him or go outside and say, hey, been living here three years. 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:29.920 Had Match, my name's Bob. 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:30.480 What's your name? 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:31.759 You guys go to church anywhere? 00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:33.519 Love for you to come be a part of our church. 00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:34.400 It's very laid back. 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:38.880 No, oh, we'll we'll go in there with a headset and we'll connect with strangers on video games. 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:43.279 Uh but when women get older and mature, women love to be together. 00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:45.039 Like my wife, and they connect. 00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:46.240 My wife will go to dinner. 00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:52.079 Like my wife and some of the women on the uh women's ministry team have a planning retreat this weekend. 00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:55.119 They're gonna leave on Friday and leave me with my kids. 00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:56.400 Such a burden. 00:19:56.559 --> 00:20:01.599 Uh and by the way, my wife always apologizes when she leaves me the kids with me. 00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:08.960 Man, when's the last time your wife, I mean, ladies, when's the last time your husband apologized to you that, hey, I'm sorry you're having to take care of the kids all day today? 00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:11.279 It doesn't happen, does it, ma'am? 00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:13.359 She's kind of like, Are you crazy? 00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:15.599 Crazy man never says that. 00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:20.160 My point is, I always say to my wife, I'm not their babysitter, I'm their dad. 00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:20.960 Okay? 00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:25.599 Go ahead and leave, and we're gonna have a carnival in this basement when you get back. 00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:27.279 Because I'm awesome. 00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:29.519 She's like, don't just buy them stuff. 00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:30.640 What's wrong with that? 00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:33.920 Dad's great, mom, not so much. 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:38.160 Mom's stingy, mom doesn't love you like dad does. 00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:39.440 Come on, let's go to Target. 00:20:39.519 --> 00:20:40.400 Let's go. 00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:42.960 She'll apologize. 00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:44.640 I'm like, why are you apologize? 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:45.359 I don't know. 00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:46.880 You think I'm mad or something? 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:54.799 No, I just I just but here's the thing they go on that planning retreat, and those women will talk all night about everything in the under the sun. 00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:56.799 Much men going to planning retreat. 00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:58.079 Come back, Moss said, How was it? 00:20:58.160 --> 00:20:58.480 That's great. 00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:00.079 We plan the calendar for the next year. 00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:01.599 Talk about anything else? 00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:02.480 Not really. 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:08.880 They will talk about their hairdressers, their doctors, their kids, everything. 00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:09.519 Why? 00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:12.079 Because when men get older, we isolate. 00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:16.640 When women get older, they just become comfortable themselves and they say, I want to connect. 00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:18.319 And so, why do I tell you that? 00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:28.319 Because it it sets up this thing that's kind of difficult because you start kind of you hope that your your husband's friends or your wife's friends are going to be a part of the sanctification process. 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:31.039 The Bible says, mm-mm, that's your responsibility. 00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:41.279 Let me let me give you a word picture, but before I do, let me say this marriage, one of the big picture purposes of marriage is helping your spouse become who they were created to be. 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:49.440 It's helping your it's preparing your spouse to be who the Bible says God intends them to be all along. 00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:52.319 That's why this thing called sanctification needs to happen. 00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:59.200 Some of the hardest, hear me now, and most necessary things that have ever been said to me, my wife said to me. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.200 Let me say that again. 00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:04.960 Some of the hardest and most necessary things have ever been said to me. 00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:07.519 My wife said to me, Now don't think, oh man, is your wife? 00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:09.039 No, very gracious person. 00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:13.200 Like, for example, some of y'all are like, Well, do you have an example of what you mean by that? 00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:14.240 Actually, I do. 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:22.079 When we're dating, when we went to this social gathering where a bunch of couples were and we're leaving, and I'm driving down the road, just kind of thinking, oh man, that was enjoyable. 00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:24.559 And I look over and my wife's just looking at me like. 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:26.160 And I'm like, what? 00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:35.440 And she goes, sometimes when you're in a social setting, do you ever think, just dial it back and make room for the fact that other people may have something to say? 00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:37.359 Here's me. 00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:39.839 I'm driving down the road thinking, well, that went well. 00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:43.519 And I was like, here's what ought to concern you. 00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:44.480 Not that she said that. 00:22:44.640 --> 00:22:45.839 Here's what ought to concern you. 00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:47.599 My first thought was, really? 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:50.960 And she said, Do you not? 00:22:51.200 --> 00:22:54.000 Aren't you aware that you can kind of fill up a room? 00:22:54.079 --> 00:22:56.319 And by fill up, I mean dominate. 00:22:57.359 --> 00:22:59.920 It's like, never crossed my mind. 00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:03.839