SPEAKER_02: Let me make a provocative statement to you that I think is about I'm 90% convinced it's true.
SPEAKER_02: 90%.
SPEAKER_02: I don't think, based off of scripture, you are designed, you don't have to live in fear.
SPEAKER_02: I do think, as Christians, you need to learn to live with fear.
SPEAKER_02: Pretty convinced that that's true.
SPEAKER_02: I know perfect love casts out fear, and we're getting there and we're trying to be perfected.
SPEAKER_02: And all right, what can mortal man do to me?
SPEAKER_02: He can't do anything.
SPEAKER_02: I look to the eyes, where to the hills, where's my help come from?
SPEAKER_02: My help comes from the Lord, the makers of heaven and earth.
SPEAKER_02: I get that.
SPEAKER_02: But the reality is there are circumstances when you're suffering that produce fear in you, but you don't have to live in fear.
SPEAKER_02: But as a mature Christian, you have to learn how to live with fear as you go through it with the hope and reassurance of what God's going to do with that.
SPEAKER_00: This podcast is brought to you by Grand Parkway Baptist Church, helping people to know, enjoy, and glorify God.
SPEAKER_00: For more information about Grand Parkway, visit our website at grandparquay.org.
SPEAKER_02: Will you pray with me?
SPEAKER_02: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we want to enter into that divine dance.
SPEAKER_02: We say here collectively as a church, as the people of God and the family of God, we are surrendering and submitting the totality of our life underneath the loving kindness and lordship of your Son Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_02: We just want to affirm and seal up everything that you're doing in Jay and Sidney's life.
SPEAKER_02: What a beautiful picture of baptism.
SPEAKER_02: Make all things new again.
SPEAKER_02: Restore, redeem.
SPEAKER_02: Be the God of our forefathers and our foremothers.
SPEAKER_02: And let us lay down a legacy of faith for generations to inherit after us.
SPEAKER_02: We love you.
SPEAKER_02: We're grateful for you.
SPEAKER_02: And all God's people said, Amen.
SPEAKER_02: You can have a seat.
SPEAKER_02: Well, good morning, Grand Parkway.
SPEAKER_02: My name's Chris Brooks.
SPEAKER_02: If we haven't met before, hello, I'm back.
SPEAKER_02: I've been hanging around for like the past four or five years.
SPEAKER_02: If we haven't met, I'm from Franklin, Tennessee.
SPEAKER_02: Uh I pastor a collective of microchurches there.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, we lead one out of our home.
SPEAKER_02: And so just want to let you know I come with my churches and my family's blessing.
SPEAKER_02: Uh my church is praying for you guys.
SPEAKER_02: My wife texted me this morning and is praying for you guys.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and one of my daughters, who just happened to be in college station this weekend to watch the Aggies play Sanford because in our church we have kids on both sides of those teams.
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so she's taking a 10 and a half hour drive back to Franklin, Tennessee.
SPEAKER_02: And I said, hey, drive safe and say a prayer because I'm at the church that bought that car that you're driving in.
SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much.
SPEAKER_02: She's definitely praying for you.
SPEAKER_02: And of all the fear and anxiety I have about a daughter traveling by herself, right now, a reliable car is not one.
SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
SPEAKER_02: You guys are so good.
SPEAKER_02: What a hilarious gift you guys gave us and blessed our family and for my kids to always look back and say, He's faithful.
SPEAKER_02: He's faithful, he provides every need.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, this morning, if you have your Bibles, turn to Romans chapter 8.
SPEAKER_02: We'll be in Romans chapter 8, starting in verse 22.
SPEAKER_02: And while you're turning there, uh, just want to remind you of this as we kind of look at some of the things that Paul is saying through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_02: I right now, after pastoring our people over the past four months and watching the ebbs and flows and the highs and lows and the fear and hope go, I think one of the biggest predictors of your Christian maturity is gonna be your relationship with hope and fear.
SPEAKER_02: And I think that the same coin but different sides.
SPEAKER_02: Hope and fear.
SPEAKER_02: Why?
SPEAKER_02: Because what you believe about the future determines how you live today.
SPEAKER_02: So, for instance, right, uh I was traveling here, uh, I'm intermittent fasting, right?
SPEAKER_02: And part of it is because when I'm in the airport, I don't want to get price gouged.
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to pay$32 for a hamburger and$5 for a bottle of water.
SPEAKER_02: And so I'm going through that, and you know when you're anxious and you're going through the airport and I'm smelling Slim and Husky's pizza, and now they got Hattie Bee's hot chicken in the Nashville airport, you're like, ooh, that sounds good.
SPEAKER_02: But here's what I know about the future.
SPEAKER_02: When I land, I'm going to Neil Marcy's house.
SPEAKER_02: And she's making flank steak, smashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts, bread, and salad.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna get my eat on.
SPEAKER_02: And it was incredible.
SPEAKER_02: I was able to endure that because of the hope in the future I knew was coming.
SPEAKER_02: And shocker of all shockers, Sophie made cookies and I ate about 10 of them.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not done yet.
SPEAKER_02: I took the rest of them.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not intermittent fasting today on the plane.
SPEAKER_02: I'll be chomping those cookies.
SPEAKER_02: What you believe about the future determines how you live in the present.
SPEAKER_02: And that's either hope or fear.
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you fear the future, so you live afraid.
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you have hope in the future, so you live secure.
SPEAKER_02: Well, one of my daughters, uh, uh I was sitting down with her counselor.
SPEAKER_02: She's been counseling for a couple years, navigating some stuff, and the last five minutes of her session, usually one of us as parents come in and we do kind of a recap.
SPEAKER_02: And then it was my turn.
SPEAKER_02: I was there with her, and we sat down with Haley.
SPEAKER_02: And uh obviously she was in a different place with some clear emotions and really shut down.
SPEAKER_02: And uh uh Haley said, Do you want to tell your dad what we talked about?
SPEAKER_02: She's like, No.
SPEAKER_02: She says, Well, first of all, you need to know that your daughter fights me for about 45 minutes until she actually feels her feelings.
SPEAKER_02: Uh so we probably need to do some pre-work for her to be ready when we come in here and take advantage of this time together.
SPEAKER_02: I said, Totally get that.
SPEAKER_02: That's why I'm paying you.
SPEAKER_02: And then she said, Maggie, are you okay if I share with your dad what you told me?
SPEAKER_02: And she just kind of nods and she says, Yes.
SPEAKER_02: She says, Maggie just wants that's great, Chris.
SPEAKER_02: Way to maintain confidentiality.
SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh, I'm horrible at that.
SPEAKER_02: Um, Maggie said uh when she's talking about her current relationships, if it's always gonna be like this, I don't know if I want to live life.
SPEAKER_02: And so I said, Hey, thanks for sharing that.
SPEAKER_02: That's incredibly powerful.
SPEAKER_02: I honor the feelings that are with that, and then I started laughing.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, sister, here's the good news Life is not always like 10th grade, praise God.
SPEAKER_02: If that's all there is to it, I don't think I want to live either.
SPEAKER_02: What you believe about the future determines how you live today.
SPEAKER_02: And I believe that's what the apostle Paul is reminding of us.
SPEAKER_02: Romans chapter 8, starting in verse 22.
SPEAKER_02: For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.
SPEAKER_02: And not only creation, we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we eagerly await for our adoptions as sons, the redemption of our bodies.
SPEAKER_02: For in this hope, we are saved.
SPEAKER_02: Now, hope that's seen is not hope.
SPEAKER_02: For who hopes for what they see?
SPEAKER_02: But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
SPEAKER_02: Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
SPEAKER_02: For we do not know what to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us in groaning too deep for words.
SPEAKER_02: And he who searches the hearts and knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
SPEAKER_02: And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good.
SPEAKER_02: For those who are called according to his purpose.
SPEAKER_02: For those he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son, in order that we might be the firstborn, he might be the firstborn among many brothers, and those he predestined, he also called, and those he called, he also justified, and those he justified, he'd also glorified.
SPEAKER_02: The word of the Lord for the people of God.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you, Lord.
SPEAKER_02: Jesus, would you go before us in this text and make a way and speak to us, Lord?
SPEAKER_02: Your servants are listening.
SPEAKER_02: The Spirit helps us to hope.
SPEAKER_02: Um I love one of the translations in a different text.
SPEAKER_02: It translates hope, a joyful anticipation.
SPEAKER_02: Something good is coming.
SPEAKER_02: And if we live in a joyful expectation of the future, it transforms how we live in the present.
SPEAKER_02: So I just have a quick message for you guys.
SPEAKER_02: Whether you're a senior in high school or a senior citizen, this in Romans chapter 8, Paul is asking you to get up, step up, and grow up into Christian maturity.
SPEAKER_02: And then you need a whole new perspective about what this life looks like.
SPEAKER_02: If this is all there is, I don't know if it's worth living.
SPEAKER_02: Correct, this is not all there is.
SPEAKER_02: And in this hope, we are saved.
SPEAKER_02: What's interesting is my kids are going to grow up, so are their fears.
SPEAKER_02: But the goodness is also that God's faithfulness grows with us.
SPEAKER_02: And I find it interesting that in the section I just read to you, this is where Paul's talking about hope, for in this hope we are saved.
SPEAKER_02: We wait for it patiently, hope that it seems not hope at all.
SPEAKER_02: But right before that, if he wants to talk about hope, he's talking about fear first.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 15 says, You received a spirit that does not make you slaves, so you live in fear, but rather you received a spirit of adoption that cries out, Abba Father.
SPEAKER_02: And that says, confirms with our spirit, hey, I'm the child of God, which guess what that means?
SPEAKER_02: I'm heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, provided that I suffer with him, then I'll participate also in his future glory.
SPEAKER_02: What he's trying to do is I want to talk to you guys about how we can increase our capacity to hope through the gospel.
SPEAKER_02: But most of us in this room, we have three obstacles when it comes to hope.
SPEAKER_02: One is a thin theology of heaven, two is a thin theology of suffering, and three is a need to total control of your life, your circumstances, and the people around you.
SPEAKER_02: It's up to you and you alone to fix them.
SPEAKER_02: That's called Tuesday, where I'm from.
SPEAKER_02: So he's addressing all that, right?
SPEAKER_02: I don't want you to have this thin theology of heaven.
SPEAKER_02: No, it's good and it's going to get better, and it's the adoption, the redemptions of our bodies.
SPEAKER_02: Thin view of suffering.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, I followed Jesus, I shouldn't have to suffer.
SPEAKER_02: All this is going to happen provided that we suffer with Christ so that we also may share in his glory.
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, it's not suffering, I think, that you want to avoid, it's suffering without purpose or cause or hope or uh counsel.
SPEAKER_02: Right?
SPEAKER_02: Passion is the suffering you're willing to endure for the cause that you're passionate about.
SPEAKER_02: Um it's also called parenting.
SPEAKER_02: So let's see if we can't stop living as slaves and start living as sons and daughters when it comes to fighting fear with the battle weapons of hope.
SPEAKER_02: Let me make a provocative statement to you that I think is about I'm 90% convinced it's true.
SPEAKER_02: 90%.
SPEAKER_02: I don't think, based off of scripture, you are designed, you don't have to live in fear.
SPEAKER_02: I do think, as Christians, you need to learn to live with fear.
SPEAKER_02: Pretty convinced that that's true.
SPEAKER_02: I know perfect love casts out fear, and we're getting there and we're trying to be perfected.
SPEAKER_02: And all right, what can mortal man do to me?
SPEAKER_02: He can't do anything.
SPEAKER_02: I look to the eyes, where to the hills, where's my help come from?
SPEAKER_02: My help comes from the Lord, the makers of heaven and earth.
SPEAKER_02: I get that.
SPEAKER_02: But the reality is there are circumstances when you're suffering that produce fear in you, but you don't have to live in fear.
SPEAKER_02: But as a mature Christian, you have to learn how to live with fear as you go through it with the hope and reassurance of what God's going to do with that.
SPEAKER_02: So if you want a biblical example, right?
SPEAKER_02: Here comes the children of Israel.
SPEAKER_02: They're living in slavery.
SPEAKER_02: They're living in fear.
SPEAKER_02: Lord, save us, deliver us, we don't like this anymore.
SPEAKER_02: Bam, he answers.
SPEAKER_02: There's a certain type of fear that comes with slavery, but there's also a certain type of fear that comes with freedom.
SPEAKER_02: They take off, they're being delivered.
SPEAKER_02: They're like, oh my gosh, I'm afraid, I can't swim.
SPEAKER_02: How are we gonna get across the Red Sea?
SPEAKER_02: Boom, God makes away.
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, we're in the wilderness.
SPEAKER_02: I'm afraid we won't have enough food or water to drink.
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna take that man and get a little bit of extra.
SPEAKER_02: And why did it spoil in my tent?
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm afraid of this God.
SPEAKER_02: I can't see him.
SPEAKER_02: So you know what?
SPEAKER_02: And what I have seen of him, he makes me want to pee my tunic a little bit.
SPEAKER_02: So, hey Moses, you go up on that mountain with that cloud and lightning and all that freaky stuff, and you talk to him, and we'll stay down here and we'll make a God that we can see.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm afraid we're finally getting to the promised land.
SPEAKER_02: We're free, but I'm afraid we can't take it.
SPEAKER_02: There's big people in there and they have weapons of mass destruction.
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, we're taking the promised land.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I'm afraid that these walls they'll never fall, and all you want us to do is march around them.
SPEAKER_02: Well, they fell, and all of a sudden we're in the promised land.
SPEAKER_02: Oh God, I'm afraid we got the promised land.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure that we can keep it.
SPEAKER_02: Their flesh was no longer in slavery, but their spirit was.
SPEAKER_02: And I want to speak to some of you here this morning.
SPEAKER_02: Your flesh may not be in slavery, but your spirit is.
SPEAKER_02: And when it comes to a particular circumstance or relationship, all of a sudden your default response is fear and hope goes out the window.
SPEAKER_02: Now, you guys have probably heard this before, and we'll have some fun playing around with it in this text, but uh what is it when psychologists talk about your reflexes response to fear, there's usually three options, right?
SPEAKER_02: You can fight, you can flight, or you can right.
SPEAKER_02: So let's take those.
SPEAKER_02: Um, I believe, by the way, that's a good thing, that's God's gift to you, that when you are in actual physical, mortal danger, boom, there's a part of your brain that kicks in and goes, This is how I survive.
SPEAKER_02: And you do it.
SPEAKER_02: It's great, it's incredible.
SPEAKER_02: What it's not incredible for is once the danger has passed and you're living in relationship, and you're in these default responses as soon as something goes wrong.
SPEAKER_02: And immediately you predict a horrible version of the future, and you're not acting like yourself, and you're rupturing friendships and relationships all the way along because you're either fight, you're flight, or you're freeze.
SPEAKER_02: You guys talked about this week, last week.
SPEAKER_02: Love your enemy.
SPEAKER_02: Your brain is in enemy mode.
SPEAKER_02: When your brain goes in enemy mode, right?
SPEAKER_02: It shuts down the relational circuits in your brain, it goes back into that part that just goes, you survive, you win, you get out of here.
SPEAKER_02: So um, fight, flight, or freeze.
SPEAKER_02: If you need this in a different way, um fight is you overcompensate.
SPEAKER_02: Whatever it is your strength is, you double down on it and know this will get me through this and this will help me win it.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm gonna work harder.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm really smart, I'm gonna be smart, right?
SPEAKER_02: Or I'm gonna be really kind and manipulate people.
SPEAKER_02: Or I'm gonna be funny to get my way out of this because then the rules and responsibilities don't apply to me.
SPEAKER_02: If yours is flight, this is basically coping mechanisms.
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna run to your old favorite addictions when there's conflict and stress and turmoil.
SPEAKER_02: I'm going straight to my phone.
SPEAKER_02: I need one more beer.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna get a second helping to that because you know what?
SPEAKER_02: It medicates the pain.
SPEAKER_02: And you're back to your old that's that's running away, right?
SPEAKER_02: And then freeze simply is you shut down.
SPEAKER_02: You're present, but the lights are off.
SPEAKER_02: You're not gonna be emotionally present, physically present.
SPEAKER_02: Like you may be in the room, but you're like, nope, not here.
SPEAKER_02: Disassociated state.
SPEAKER_02: So let's see what would happen if we use the spirit to help us walk through one of these things.
SPEAKER_02: And I would just submit to you at the end of this, maybe we can fight, for those of you who are fighting, you can fight to feel the feelings you're avoiding.
SPEAKER_02: For those of you as flight, maybe you can run to God and others rather running away from God and your problems.
SPEAKER_02: And for those who are freeze, we're gonna see if you can freeze your fears in place and introduce it to the fear of God so that you have it in the right perspective.
SPEAKER_02: And I say it this way: you may not be able to change your tendencies, but you can change your practices.
SPEAKER_02: You may not be able to change your tendencies, but you can change your practices.
SPEAKER_02: And the good news is when you change your practices, guess what happens?
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes your tendencies will start to change.
SPEAKER_02: Did you hear that?
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes your tendencies will start to change.
SPEAKER_02: All right, so if your fight, how many people in here you know your default response to fear is fight?
SPEAKER_02: Put them up, right?
SPEAKER_02: Dukes up.
SPEAKER_02: I I gotta feel the guy who baptized uh Ryan right there.
SPEAKER_02: His is fight, right?
SPEAKER_02: He doesn't go to the school of hugs and warm kisses and all that fun stuff.
SPEAKER_02: This is awesome.
SPEAKER_02: By the way, congratulations.
SPEAKER_02: You guys are designed to be action-oriented, protect, defend, right?
SPEAKER_02: As soon as you feel a threat, you move towards it.
SPEAKER_02: You're not moving away from it.
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna identify it for yourself and for the people around you that you need to do.
SPEAKER_02: Um, you fear that in conflict a weakness will be exposed of yours and exploited.
SPEAKER_02: So you fight so that you never show weakness.
SPEAKER_02: And you fight when you see other people's weakness and you jump on that so that they can't hurt you.
SPEAKER_02: Um, you're constantly on guard, you got one in the chamber at all times, and your motto is ready, shoot aim.
SPEAKER_02: And you're wondering why the people closest to you are bleeding out all the time.
SPEAKER_02: And you call it, I have a big personality, right?
SPEAKER_02: Uh anybody ever see that movie Major Pain back in the 80s, one of the Wayne's brothers?
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love it when young people actually watch these shows.
SPEAKER_02: Premise is this, right?
SPEAKER_02: Drill sergeant with a bunch of little misfit kids trying to get them in some kind of military program, and he's trying to get them going, and there's like the littlest, scrawniest, cutest little kid who's, you know, looks like a sneeze could knock him over, right?
SPEAKER_02: And at some point, I forget the actual context, but something happens where there's an emotional connection between him and Major Pain.
SPEAKER_02: And so the kid walks up to him and goes to give him a hug, and Major Payne sees his coming, and you know what his response to affirmation, compassion, and a loving hug was?
SPEAKER_02: He whips him around and puts him in a full Nelson and says, What's your angle, boy?
SPEAKER_02: For those of us who live in fight mode, you can't receive something like that because there's always an angle.
SPEAKER_02: If you make yourself vulnerable, you will be rejected or abandoned.
SPEAKER_02: And you avoid that at all costs because that's a feeling you don't want to ever feel again.
SPEAKER_02: Possibly there's a place in your story where this was exploited and you told yourself, never again.
SPEAKER_02: But when you spend all your time and energy fighting those feelings, eventually you stop feeling all together.
SPEAKER_02: So, a question I have for you this morning is what emotion do you fear feeling the most?
SPEAKER_02: Is it joy, is it sadness, guilt, shame, anger, hurt, fear?
SPEAKER_02: What is that emotion trying to communicate to you?
SPEAKER_02: What does the spirit want to whisper you in that emotion that you're avoiding it?
SPEAKER_02: And what's one way you can fight to feel that emotion?
SPEAKER_02: Who can you help you to get to it?
SPEAKER_02: Who can you say, hey, I really struggle with this?
SPEAKER_02: Can you walk me through it?
SPEAKER_02: You may not be able to change your tendencies, but you can change your practices.
SPEAKER_02: All right, flight.
SPEAKER_02: Where are my runners in the room?
SPEAKER_02: Anyone want to admit to flight?
SPEAKER_02: Like as soon as there's danger, I'm out of here.
SPEAKER_02: It's mine too.
SPEAKER_02: I've got a quick first step, buddy.
SPEAKER_02: Uh I I may never have been good in fights as a kid growing up, but I can outrun your butt.
SPEAKER_02: It's a dangerous situation.
SPEAKER_02: I I don't have to be the fastest, I just have to be faster than one other cat.
SPEAKER_02: While you get eaten by the bear, I'm free to go.
SPEAKER_02: We're out.
SPEAKER_02: Audi 5,000 G.
SPEAKER_02: In college, my friends would actually make fun of me.
SPEAKER_02: We'd be in the room, and two dudes would start fighting and jolling off to each other, and I would go, I'm out of here.
SPEAKER_02: Didn't like the conflict, didn't like the way I feel, my stomach's ugh.
SPEAKER_02: This means my dad's gonna leave and I'm gonna be abandoned.
SPEAKER_02: And you don't process any of that stuff, but your body remembers.
SPEAKER_02: You're like, what's wrong with me?
SPEAKER_02: Just arguing over tech mobile, and all of a sudden you're having a come apart.
SPEAKER_02: For those of us who are flight, right?
SPEAKER_02: I just want to say, congratulations.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, you're hardwired to run.
SPEAKER_02: And the good news is when you run towards God and run towards relationships, it's incredible.
SPEAKER_02: It's when you run away from that stuff.
SPEAKER_02: When you can see a hope in a future, you'll run straight to it.
SPEAKER_02: But the second fear pops up, oh, you feel yourself knee-jerk.
SPEAKER_02: I gotta get out of here.
SPEAKER_02: Verse 25 says it this way For in this hope we are saved.
SPEAKER_02: Christian hope is shared hope, Christian joy is shared joy, and Christian patience is shared patience.
SPEAKER_02: When we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently.
SPEAKER_02: Not you, but together, the body of Christ.
SPEAKER_02: You have to remember that God is working in your waiting, that even though there's not a quick resolution, you can stay in the pocket and you can run to God and run to your friends.
SPEAKER_02: Um, and we once you start to fight to Feel emotions, and then we start running to God and running to the body of Christ in those times of things, right?
SPEAKER_02: Neil says it this way: when you get around those people, you need real godly friends.
SPEAKER_02: Do you want pity or perspective?
SPEAKER_02: So, where are your friends?
SPEAKER_02: Because here's what happens.
SPEAKER_02: Here's what I'm really scared of.
SPEAKER_02: For those of us who run, sometimes we create a circle of friends that we call our accountability or our spiritual friendships or whatever, and all it is is an echo chamber so you can play the victim.
SPEAKER_02: I want to use that term really carefully.
SPEAKER_02: Especially in my church, we have legitimate victims who are coming out of cults and who have been abused by people in power in unjust ways.
SPEAKER_02: So I'm not minimizing that term.
SPEAKER_02: What I am saying is a victim is someone who says, here's everything that's happened to me, puts all their emotions out there, and says, now you're responsible for fixing them.
SPEAKER_02: And I back up from it.
SPEAKER_02: And then everyone around you has to walk on eggshells.
SPEAKER_02: Because you might trigger them.
SPEAKER_02: And they've never faced that to begin with, and now it's all of our responsibility to make sure they never feel that again.
SPEAKER_02: So where are the friends that are waiting for you?
SPEAKER_02: Help you wait patiently, hear that stuff, and offer you a different perspective.
SPEAKER_02: Not just an echo chamber.
SPEAKER_02: I believe lamenting is a biblical act of worship.
SPEAKER_02: You're allowed to talk about how hard things are and how upset you are.
SPEAKER_02: But then you have to move to the biblical next step, which is hope.
SPEAKER_02: I believe I have a hope in a future in the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: I believe he's gonna work all things together for good for those that are loved and called according to his purpose.
SPEAKER_02: And I may not even see it, but I believe it and I'm gonna live as if it is true.
SPEAKER_02: Even when my kids are off the reservation, even when all of a sudden I get a diagnosis that I don't see an end to, or a relationship or a marriage that's crumbling, or bills I don't know how I'm ever gonna get out from underneath.
SPEAKER_02: In this hope, we are saved, and when we don't see it yet, we wait for it patiently.
SPEAKER_02: Maybe this is why Psalm 27 says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful.
SPEAKER_02: Be careful what you call friends are not just enemy kisses, telling you what to hear and never driving you to truth or transformation or personal responsibility.
SPEAKER_02: Plight questions for you.
SPEAKER_02: Who or what do you run to instead of God when you're afraid?
SPEAKER_02: Who are the friends that you know you can trust to hear your fears and help you face them?
SPEAKER_02: Here's one.
SPEAKER_02: How will you strengthen a friendship this week when you're not afraid?
SPEAKER_02: I.e., what do you need to do to be a better friend?
SPEAKER_02: Because here's what I'm concerned about.
SPEAKER_02: Uh for those of us who are a flight, we can be the kind of friends who the whole friendship is based off of our crisis, and we never invest in you until we need help.
SPEAKER_02: I know you're gonna listen.
SPEAKER_02: And then our friendship all of a sudden just becomes about me talking about my problems, and I never invest in you when things are okay.
SPEAKER_02: I'm never a good friend.
SPEAKER_02: So you may not be able to change your tendencies, but you can change your practices.
SPEAKER_02: If your default response is freeze, any freezes in here, you're probably not gonna raise your hand because that's really terrifying.
SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you for the preacher.
SPEAKER_02: Right?
SPEAKER_02: Freeze is actually really smart at your brain, right?
SPEAKER_02: You have deduced real quickly.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, if I fight, I'm not gonna win.
SPEAKER_02: If I run away, I'm not gonna make it.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna stand very, very still.
SPEAKER_02: You're like a T-Rex.
SPEAKER_02: You can't see me if I don't move, right?
SPEAKER_02: Good news is you're hardwired to slow down, assess the situation, and formulate a proper response.
SPEAKER_02: The flesh wants you to live in fear, but the spirit wants to move you into a greater place where you can respond appropriately.
SPEAKER_02: A lot of times you get petrified that one false move spells disaster.
SPEAKER_02: You look and you realize, oh, there's just no options of what around it.
SPEAKER_02: But if we stay with that and we live in fear, fear becomes like a poisonous fog that we inhale, and instead of a joyful expectation, we resign ourselves to the fearful and worst expectations possible.
SPEAKER_02: Anytime you walk into something new or there's conflict, within 0.8 seconds, you have created the worst case scenario possible and go, I'm not gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna fail, so why even bother moving?
SPEAKER_02: But verse 28 says this we know that God works all things together for good.
SPEAKER_02: Doesn't say that all things are good.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that I'm not putting a bumper sticker over that stuff.
SPEAKER_02: It is saying that you serve an all-powerful God who's in control, so you don't have to be.
SPEAKER_02: That job's taken.
SPEAKER_02: Clive was reminding us that this uh Sunday is Christ the King's Sunday before we start Advent.
SPEAKER_02: He's the king, job description taken.
SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
SPEAKER_02: You can trust him, even when you don't see it or have to wait patiently for it, he will work all things together for good for those who are called according to his purpose.
SPEAKER_02: So here's what I submit.
SPEAKER_02: This is a we'll see if this works.
SPEAKER_02: I submit, why don't you, instead of freezing in your fear, freeze your fear?
SPEAKER_02: Freeze it right in place.
SPEAKER_02: Sub-zero.
SPEAKER_02: That's back from a video game I used to play when I was a kid, right?
SPEAKER_02: Mortal Kombat.
SPEAKER_02: I love them, right?
SPEAKER_02: Sub-Zero would freeze someone, and the person's like this, and you finish him, right?
SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
SPEAKER_02: For someone who's not fight, that was really gratifying.
SPEAKER_02: You know what's interesting?
SPEAKER_02: My son's taking um eighth grade uh science, and I could not pass his test.
SPEAKER_02: And he's in atoms and chemistries and all this.
SPEAKER_02: Do you know if you're surrounded by the poisonous gas, which is freeze, do you know what you have to do in order to take a gas to a solid?
SPEAKER_02: Freeze it.
SPEAKER_02: Freeze those fears in place.
SPEAKER_02: Let them drop us test the situation, point out what's going on, freeze your frantic activities, freeze your failures, freeze your finances for a second, freeze your unhealthy coping mechanisms for just a second, sit down on the inside, understand out of your identity and your authority and your firm future that is secured for you in Christ Jesus, how do I need to act?
SPEAKER_02: Because not acting is an action sometimes.
SPEAKER_02: And I it may not be a guaranteed successful result, but who I am needs to be transformed in the process.
SPEAKER_02: Um I I don't mean to sound pithy or elementary, but uh I'm really concerned, especially with my people, um, that the first thing that goes if second crisis or difficult circumstances comes up is their time in the Word with God.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, how's your time with the Lord?
SPEAKER_02: Oh man, I don't have time to do that.
SPEAKER_02: So it freezes your first response.
SPEAKER_02: The first thing you need to do is freeze your schedule.
SPEAKER_02: Because the amount of people I talk about who try to live like sharks, hey, if I if I'm not busy, then I'm actually gonna have to deal with everything that I'm feeling here inside.
SPEAKER_02: And then I'm actually petrified and don't know what to do.
SPEAKER_02: Sit down, Sabbath on the inside, get in the Word of God, get around the people of God, and realize that maybe the reason you're constantly in freeze and the pressure of responsibilities and daily activities is too much is because you need to freeze your fear and introduce them to the fear of God, who you believe at the end of the day is going to work all things together for good.
SPEAKER_02: Questions for freeze I have is what frantic activities do you need to freeze in order to make space for your soul and for God in your life?
SPEAKER_02: How does the hope of the resurrection change or inform your relationship to fear?
SPEAKER_02: And what would change about your attitudes or actions if you truly believed God is working all things together for good?
SPEAKER_02: The uh most of my kids are older now.
SPEAKER_02: My youngest is uh in eighth grade.
SPEAKER_02: But I was remembering back to the time when they were kids, um, someone once told me, hey, when they're little kids, you're gonna be really, really tired.
SPEAKER_02: And once they become older, you're gonna be psychologically exhausted.
SPEAKER_02: Uh and so bedtime routine was my favorite part of the day for the kids.
SPEAKER_02: Why?
SPEAKER_02: Because after you're asleep, it's mommy daddy time.
SPEAKER_02: Here we go.
SPEAKER_02: And by mommy daddy time, I mean popcorn and Netflix.
SPEAKER_02: So I we we would get them down, read them a story, pray with them.
SPEAKER_02: And I just need to confess to you, as a dad, I was not always perfect at this.
SPEAKER_02: Yes, if you were falling asleep, I skipped pages in the book.
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I led the witness on which book do you want to read?
SPEAKER_02: Yes, that Dr.
SPEAKER_02: Seuss, it's my favorite because it takes a minute and 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_02: I love that you love this book, buddy.
SPEAKER_02: Get them down, they fall asleep, you get your popcorn, you get your movie started, and inevitably you hear what?
SPEAKER_02: Mom, Dad, how scared.
SPEAKER_02: Now, with our first kid, both of us went up and rushed in the room.
SPEAKER_02: With our second kid, we paid rock, paper, scissors.
SPEAKER_02: And with our third kid, my wife gave me a look that says, I do more than you with those kids, it's your turn.
SPEAKER_02: You go in, what's wrong?
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter, right?
SPEAKER_02: There's a monster in my closet, something under my bed.
SPEAKER_02: I saw that shadow, looks like a demon.
SPEAKER_02: Okay, great.
SPEAKER_02: Sit down on the bed, rub their hair, pray over them.
SPEAKER_02: Maybe sometimes I sing over them, which that'll put you to sleep, not in a healthy way, but just like you're, oh gosh, I can't hear any more of that.
SPEAKER_02: It's great.
SPEAKER_02: Here's what's interesting.
SPEAKER_02: When I came in and sat on the bed, absolutely nothing changed in their circumstances in that room.
SPEAKER_02: Lights were still off, shadows were still scary, the closet was still a porthole to the seventh layer of hell.
SPEAKER_02: But what happened?
SPEAKER_02: Someone stronger than their fear was in the room.
SPEAKER_02: Beloved.
SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad that in Romans chapter 8, when he knows that we're afraid, he knows that we groan with creation, he knows that we wait with creation and that we hope with creation for the redemption of our bodies and the return of the risen and resurrected Jesus.
SPEAKER_02: When all the sad things come untrue and heaven takes up its rightful place here on earth and we rule and reign with him forever and ever.
SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad Romans chapter 8 just doesn't say, Oh, grow up, stop being afraid.
SPEAKER_02: It says, I get it.
SPEAKER_02: Invite the Holy Spirit, who helps you to hope and realize when someone's stronger than your fears are in there, you can face the future.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: So we want to preach the Bible clearly and give your soul some space to respond.
SPEAKER_02: I put a couple of the questions up from the talk for you to kind of mull over and just ask the Holy Spirit which one has your name on it.
SPEAKER_02: Jesus, our hearts are open, our minds are cleansed, and no secrets are hid from you.
SPEAKER_02: Move us, transform us.
SPEAKER_02: Come sit on the end of the bed with us, and we know that you're stronger than any fear that we face.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Lord, we can we can rest in the sufficiency of both God and the gospel because you're sovereign over us and you're working things out.
SPEAKER_01: Uh you're at work in all things.
SPEAKER_01: So no one in this room is going uh through a circumstance or a situation right now alone.
SPEAKER_01: Uh however hard it is, whatever the diagnosis said, whatever the last doctor to the visit, visit to the doctor revealed.
SPEAKER_01: You're in the midst of that and you're at work.
SPEAKER_01: And uh, you're at work for our good and your glory.
SPEAKER_01: So we take perspective in that, we take comfort in that.
SPEAKER_01: The great thing about Christianity is that we're not alone.
SPEAKER_01: That's why the psalmist said, even though I walked through the valley in the shadow of death, I fear no evil because you're with me.
SPEAKER_01: You're with us.
SPEAKER_01: This is a great time of the year for us to be reminded of the incarnation that you came to be with us.
SPEAKER_01: You left your spirit here on this earth to say, I'll never leave you as orphans.
SPEAKER_01: I'll never leave you nor forsake you.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not a God that abandons, I'm a God that stays.
SPEAKER_01: And when it gets hard, I don't go anywhere.
SPEAKER_01: So, Holy Spirit, open up our head and our heart to these realities we pray during the season of the incarnation.
SPEAKER_01: We say that with gratitude and in Jesus' name, and all God's people said, Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to this message.
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SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to go deeper with our sermon content, you can hear more on our Circling Back with Neil McClendon Podcast at Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and wherever you listen to podcasts.