SPEAKER_00: This podcast is a ministry of Grant Parkway Baptist Church, helping people know, enjoy, and glorify God.
SPEAKER_00: For more information about Grant Parkway, visit GrantProquay.org.
SPEAKER_01: Let's pray together.
SPEAKER_01: Lord Jesus, we've come to confess that every other way of thinking about life and doing life is sinking sand.
SPEAKER_01: It just doesn't hold up under the weight of a fallen world and a curious culture and a sinful people.
SPEAKER_01: We've all been there.
SPEAKER_01: We don't stand here as self-righteous, religious people think we're better than anybody else.
SPEAKER_01: No, we all had our time living that way.
SPEAKER_01: What the Bible talks about is our former way of life.
SPEAKER_01: There needs to be a clear line of demarcation between who we used to be and who we are now.
SPEAKER_01: That's what it means to be born again.
SPEAKER_01: That's what it means to be saved.
SPEAKER_01: That's what it means to become a Christ follower.
SPEAKER_01: Is that I'm no longer the most important thing in my life, that my heart is changed.
SPEAKER_01: And what I believe is changed.
SPEAKER_01: And because of that, I've changed.
SPEAKER_01: And so, Lord, I pray for anyone here today that's never had that experience.
SPEAKER_01: That you would just let them hear the message of the gospel today.
SPEAKER_01: Holy Spirit, we're going to open up the Bible and we open it up because every time we do, you speak from it.
SPEAKER_01: So speak today in a language that we understand.
SPEAKER_01: We pray in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_01: And everyone said, Amen.
SPEAKER_01: You can have a seat.
SPEAKER_01: If you've got a Bible, I invite you to take it and open it up to Ephesians chapter 4.
SPEAKER_01: Ephesians chapter 4.
SPEAKER_01: And I want to talk to you this morning about gospel imperatives for marriage.
SPEAKER_01: Now that sounds all big and heady and everything, but let me unpack what I mean by gospel imperatives for marriage.
SPEAKER_01: Imperative basically means command.
SPEAKER_01: And I don't want to put you under the law this morning.
SPEAKER_01: I don't want you to think, oh great, I went to church and I got another to-do list.
SPEAKER_01: That's not what it's about.
SPEAKER_01: So let me let me give you this analogy and hopefully it'll make sense as the sermon unfolds.
SPEAKER_01: He's the one that said this.
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's so applicable to today.
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, the way he described Christianity is like this: it's like a king.
SPEAKER_01: He heard that an army was coming, an enemy army was invading his territory.
SPEAKER_01: So this king sent his soldier, he sent his army out to meet this invading enemy army.
SPEAKER_01: And so they get into a battle.
SPEAKER_01: And so if the king is losing the battle, all of a sudden he sends back military commanders back to the castle to say, hey, the king's army is losing.
SPEAKER_01: We got to prepare for war.
SPEAKER_01: So we need siege ramps over here, and we need archers up on the wall, and we need cavalry mounted up and ready to go.
SPEAKER_01: Fight for your life.
SPEAKER_01: Get ready.
SPEAKER_01: And so that's because if the king is losing the battle and the bot the battle is going to be lost, that's what he sends.
SPEAKER_01: He sends military uh uh uh officers back.
SPEAKER_01: But if the king goes out and the king's army wins, he sends back Ewangeleon, messengers, with good news to come back and say, the king is one.
SPEAKER_01: Enjoy the peace that's been accomplished on your behalf.
SPEAKER_01: Now, why do I tell you that?
SPEAKER_01: Because I'd been here as the pastor about six months.
SPEAKER_01: I just finished my ninth year.
SPEAKER_01: So I'd been here about six months, and a man came up to me right here after the service, and he said, You need to yell and scream at us more.
SPEAKER_01: And I thought he was kidding.
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
SPEAKER_01: That was my response.
SPEAKER_01: I chuckled, and he goes, No, we need hellfire and brimstone, or else how do you think these people are going to change?
SPEAKER_01: And I try to describe to him that the king is one.
SPEAKER_01: I don't, the reason we don't yell and scream is because the king is one.
SPEAKER_01: We're not, I don't talk to you like a military commander.
SPEAKER_01: We need siege ramps and archers up here.
SPEAKER_01: I come back as a Ewangelian, as a messenger of good news, that the king is one.
SPEAKER_01: And and and and enjoy and live in the peace that the king has provided.
SPEAKER_01: And the man said, Well, I'm probably gonna have to look for another church then.
SPEAKER_01: Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_01: It was the most peculiar experience I've ever had in my life.
SPEAKER_01: And he just walked out the door, he's never been back.
SPEAKER_01: So if you came today to be yelled at, you're in the wrong place.
SPEAKER_01: Because here's what I believe, and I believe this because I think it's the whole teaching of the Bible.
SPEAKER_01: The king is one.
SPEAKER_01: And so we don't have to fight and get ready and oh, but just, hey, the king is one.
SPEAKER_01: And so I say that, so you won't hear me talk about the gospel imperatives for marriage because see, we're in a series called Broken Together, where we're talking about marriage.
SPEAKER_01: Marriage is not two perfect people that get together and just kind of figure it out.
SPEAKER_01: And also, marriage, we ended last week talking about marriage is a reflection of the gospel, okay?
SPEAKER_01: You you can't preach the gospel unless you defend the institute and the sanctity of marriage and our culture that it's under a siege these days.
SPEAKER_01: And so, because we ended talking about the gospel, I thought it would behoove us to look at what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_01: Here's some imperatives uh uh for marriage.
SPEAKER_01: Because if you open the Bible and you just say, What's the Bible say about marriage?
SPEAKER_01: It says a few things, but really, if you believe the Bible, every command in the Bible is intended for marriage.
SPEAKER_01: It's intended for people, for Christ's followers to live this stuff out.
SPEAKER_01: And so I want to just give you an example of what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_01: Uh Ephesians chapter 4, verse 17.
SPEAKER_01: This is what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_01: He says, Now this I say and I testify in the Lord.
SPEAKER_01: You must no longer walk as Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
SPEAKER_01: They're darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to the hardness of their heart.
SPEAKER_01: They've become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.
SPEAKER_01: But that is not the way you learn Christ.
SPEAKER_01: Assuming you have heard about him and were taught in him as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to the former manner of life, and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self created after the likeness of God and true righteousness and holiness.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 25.
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
SPEAKER_01: Be angry and do not sin.
SPEAKER_01: Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil.
SPEAKER_01: Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.
SPEAKER_01: Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as it fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear.
SPEAKER_01: And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you are sealed for the day of redemption.
SPEAKER_01: Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice, be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
SPEAKER_01: Now there's a lot of commands in there, a lot of be this and do this, but I just want to point out five of them.
SPEAKER_01: And then I'm just briefly today.
SPEAKER_01: And then I want to come back and I want to just kind of sing a little bit and soak in what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_01: Can we do that?
SPEAKER_01: So, what do I mean when I say gospel imperatives for marriage?
SPEAKER_01: I mean, here's some things that I that I think we need to hear today.
SPEAKER_01: And the first one is simply this have a former way of life.
SPEAKER_01: Have a former way of life.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 22, look at what he says there.
SPEAKER_01: He says, Hey, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt or deceitful desires.
SPEAKER_01: So put off your old self.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Because that belongs to who you used to be.
SPEAKER_01: When I say have a former way of life, what I mean is that marriage is intended to be lived for the glory of God.
SPEAKER_01: And that's hard to do if you're a non-Christian, if you don't believe.
SPEAKER_01: If you're like, I don't, I, I don't get because then it's just man and woman.
SPEAKER_01: The only roles that you have, and the only capacity you have, is man and woman, husband and wife, mom and dad.
SPEAKER_01: But because I'm a Christian and my wife's a Christian, we have a capacity, and this is the capacity that gets us through the hard days.
SPEAKER_01: We have a capacity as Christians.
SPEAKER_01: And so the capacity, I bring the capacity of the gospel to bear on my relationship.
SPEAKER_01: For example, this past Friday had a crazy week this past week, was out of town for a couple days.
SPEAKER_01: Um, and and Friday morning I just woke up and I was just frustrated with the world.
SPEAKER_01: And my wife said, Are you okay?
SPEAKER_01: You seem kind of surly.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: I said, I just she goes, Are you are you mad at me about something?
SPEAKER_01: I said, I'm mad at everybody.
SPEAKER_01: And she kind of laughed and she said, What?
SPEAKER_01: And I said, it's like that great line from a Tim McGraw song.
SPEAKER_01: He says, I got a life that most would love to have, but some days I just wake up fighting mad.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, and by the way, when I'm mad at everybody, all of you are on my last nerve, it's not your fault, it's my fault.
SPEAKER_01: And she said, Okay, well, I'm gonna let you own that, and went on about her busy day.
SPEAKER_01: And then I was like, I'm not thinking, I'm mad at you.
SPEAKER_01: I gotta think about this.
SPEAKER_01: And so, give me just a minute, I'll come out with something.
SPEAKER_01: And then it dawned on me, our cat has been, I've kind of had this low simmering grudge towards my wife because our cat has been sick.
SPEAKER_01: We took our cat to the vet, and the cat may have phenyl and leukemia and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_01: And so she said, You come up with anything?
SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: I said, I think if I wanted your attention, I would have to be a cat or a computer cord, because that's what you seem to look for these days.
SPEAKER_01: Bam.
SPEAKER_01: But here's the capacity of the gospel.
SPEAKER_01: The gospel, as a Christian, I have to tell the truth to myself.
SPEAKER_01: And my wife looked at me and said, Is there something you want to say behind that?
SPEAKER_01: No, I just think you've been paying a lot of attention to that cat.
SPEAKER_01: Are you saying I haven't paid attention to you?
SPEAKER_01: No, I don't need your attention.
SPEAKER_01: Lie.
SPEAKER_01: That's a lie.
SPEAKER_01: But instead of coming, as a man, instead of coming out and saying, Hey, I don't feel like you've kind of paid me enough attention this week, and so I'm kind of, it's easier just to kind of go, I'm mad at you.
SPEAKER_01: Because here's what the gospel does.
SPEAKER_01: The gospel walks me back and kind of says, What's going on here?
SPEAKER_01: What's going on here?
SPEAKER_01: And I realized this about myself.
SPEAKER_01: And I laughed on Friday afternoon when the tumblers and the lock all kind of lined up.
SPEAKER_01: Because people who disappoint me, who don't come through for me, I avoid.
SPEAKER_01: And so my wife wasn't coming through.
SPEAKER_01: It goes back to the fact that my dad abandoned me when I was a little kid.
SPEAKER_01: And so he didn't come through for me, so I just avoided him.
SPEAKER_01: So if I don't feel like my wife is coming through for me, I avoid her.
SPEAKER_01: I go in my room and watch basketball.
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, please, Burr Rabbit, don't throw me in that briar patch.
SPEAKER_01: You mean you're not gonna come here and talk to me the whole time?
SPEAKER_01: Now, here's why the capacity, here's why it's good that I have a former way of life, here's why it's good that I I I'm a Christian, a Christ follower, is because the gospel says you can't do that to your wife.
SPEAKER_01: What's that?
SPEAKER_01: I cannot make my wife responsible for what I feel.
SPEAKER_01: It's not her fault, and it's not her responsibility.
SPEAKER_01: Some days I just wake up on the wrong side of the world, and I'm like, everyone drives like a just a goofball, get out of my way, use a blinker.
SPEAKER_01: Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_01: People that work at places that that somehow forget to run a cash register, I just find myself going, Really?
SPEAKER_01: They pay you to be this stupid.
SPEAKER_01: I don't say that, but I think that.
SPEAKER_01: And here's where I have to go, okay, okay, everyone's just not doing it right.
SPEAKER_01: That's a statement about me.
SPEAKER_01: Not a statement about them.
SPEAKER_01: And so, when I say have a former way of life, what I'm saying is you need to ask yourself, has the God have I has my heart ever been changed by the gospel?
SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, you just go through life mad at everybody.
SPEAKER_01: And so when I say have a former way of life, that's what he says.
SPEAKER_01: He says, hey, in verse 22, put off your old self, which which excuse me, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires.
SPEAKER_01: When I put off my old self, I have to remind myself, baby, I put off my old self so I can't punish people who I think are disappointing me.
SPEAKER_01: That's not the gospel, that's not the truth.
SPEAKER_01: So my wife later on, she goes, You got anything else in you with my name on it?
SPEAKER_01: No, but I'll let you know.
SPEAKER_01: And she just laughs and says, Okay.
SPEAKER_01: And what she's doing is she's inviting me to, hey, hey, you, you, you, you're not 12 anymore.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, uh, uh, okay.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, ask yourself, do I have the capacity to to love my spouse, to for men to love my wife like Christ loved the church, and ladies to relate to your husband as a church relates to Christ.
SPEAKER_01: That comes from the gospel.
SPEAKER_01: If you don't have a relationship with Christ, I'm not saying marriage is impossible, I'm saying it's difficult.
SPEAKER_01: Because it's hard to forgive.
SPEAKER_01: It's hard to do what the Bible calls you to do.
SPEAKER_01: Second imperative, gospel imperative for marriage, is speak the truth.
SPEAKER_01: In verse 25, he says, Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
SPEAKER_01: Remember a couple weeks ago when we started this series, we looked in Genesis how the Bible says, For this cause a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
SPEAKER_01: Here the Bible says, as Christians, we're members one of another.
SPEAKER_01: We're members of the church, of the body of Christ.
SPEAKER_01: And so we put off falsehood and we speak the truth one to another.
SPEAKER_01: Now here's what we're tempted to do as men.
SPEAKER_01: We don't speak the truth, we calibrate the truth.
SPEAKER_01: In other words, how much can I say without having to have more conversation with my wife than I want to have?
SPEAKER_01: Because if it's 9:30 at night and I say this, we're going to talk to a lot about 11.
SPEAKER_01: So I don't say this.
SPEAKER_01: I say this right here.
SPEAKER_01: That's not the truth.
SPEAKER_01: Anything less than the truth is a lie.
SPEAKER_01: And it's okay to say, you know what, I got a lot in me around this, but I don't want to get into it right now.
SPEAKER_01: Let me just say this.
SPEAKER_01: Boom.
SPEAKER_01: Now, ladies, let me say this to you.
SPEAKER_01: Don't make your husband a liar by your response to his truth.
SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh, that's like a word problem in algebra.
SPEAKER_01: What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01: Did you feel that?
SPEAKER_01: It was kind of like, well, that sounded profound, but I hope he understood that.
SPEAKER_01: Here's what I mean.
SPEAKER_01: Like one time, my wife went out in the garage to get something out of the freezer, open the freezer, and close it, and it didn't close all the way.
SPEAKER_01: And everything in our upright freezer thawed out and ruined.
SPEAKER_01: And she said to me, You're not frustrated, are you?
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I'm frustrated.
SPEAKER_01: And my frustration is circumstantial.
SPEAKER_01: It's not personal.
SPEAKER_01: Don't just stand over me and go, don't be frustrated, don't be frustrated.
SPEAKER_01: I'm frustrated.
SPEAKER_01: Matter of fact, I think it's necessary that I be frustrated.
SPEAKER_01: This is a lot of money.
SPEAKER_01: We just wasted right here in the garage melting bluebell ice cream.
SPEAKER_01: You can't buy that anymore.
SPEAKER_01: We've crossed a line here, woman.
SPEAKER_01: The bluebell has melted.
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's there or not, you go out there and give me some more boob.
SPEAKER_01: You're not frustrated, are you?
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01: See, what I mean by this, because if you say, because here's what we think.
SPEAKER_01: We think, we men think our wives can't handle it.
SPEAKER_01: I gotta calibrate the truth.
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to hurt my little lady.
SPEAKER_01: Your wife's a lot more durable than you might think.
SPEAKER_01: And by you speaking the truth, guess what it frees her to do?
SPEAKER_01: See, that's what we don't want.
SPEAKER_01: I'm just outdoors right here, ladies, because if we say the truth, then you might kind of go, you know what?
SPEAKER_01: Mama got some words for you.
SPEAKER_01: Set your big self down on the couch real quick.
SPEAKER_01: Let me get at you.
SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing: when the Bible says speak the truth, by the way, when way back in the beginning, I mean, I mean, in John chapter 8, Jesus said, You'll know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
SPEAKER_01: The purpose of the truth is to set you free, not to bind you up.
SPEAKER_01: Ask yourself, is there anything that I'm I'm I'm shading the truth about in my relationship with my spouse right now?
SPEAKER_01: I'm not being fully forthright.
SPEAKER_01: Speaking the truth is not being ruthless, it's being honest, it's being liberating.
SPEAKER_01: Third uh gospel imperative for marriage is verse 26 is look what it says.
SPEAKER_01: Be angry and do not sin.
SPEAKER_01: Do not let the sun go down in your anger and give no opportunity for the devil.
SPEAKER_01: Third thing I would tell you is your pastor is you need to be angry in marriage.
SPEAKER_01: Some of y'all are like, I'm glad I'm here today.
SPEAKER_01: And you say, Well, because my wife says, She goes, Well, you can preach that on tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01: I said, I'm gonna tell people I need to be angry in their marriage.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you need to explain that.
SPEAKER_01: You need you you you need me to tell you how to be angry?
SPEAKER_01: Maybe how to be angry, but but not be angry.
SPEAKER_01: Because here's what we do in church.
SPEAKER_01: We say, Oh, well, you know, Jesus died for us all to be nice and speaking nice round words.
SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you, you need to learn to be angry, but don't sin.
SPEAKER_01: Because the Bible says, be angry.
SPEAKER_01: That's command language, that's imperative, but don't sin.
SPEAKER_01: Here's what destroys a lot of marriages our inability or unwillingness to be angry and not sin.
SPEAKER_01: And here's what you do: you give the devil a foothold.
SPEAKER_01: That's what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_01: And do not give the devil an opportunity.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Because anger that's turned inward becomes depression.
SPEAKER_01: When you I see a lot of people that struggle with depression, and I'm not saying everybody that's depressed is really angry, but a lot of people, the way they go on that path is they had righteous anger in them and they didn't express it, they swallowed it, and it just depresses you because anger longs for expression.
SPEAKER_01: Matter of fact, let me say something that's gonna sound crazy.
SPEAKER_01: Righteous anger, where you can be angry and not sin, righteous anger is a preserving element in our culture.
SPEAKER_01: One of the reasons our culture has eroded like it has is that Christians don't know how to be angry and not sin.
SPEAKER_01: The people say, You're not angry, are you?
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, no, I'm not angry.
SPEAKER_01: Next time someone asks you, are you not angry?
SPEAKER_01: And you're angry, you go, Yeah, I'm angry.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna sin, but I'm angry.
SPEAKER_01: I saw a couple uh that said, Tell me why you're here, and she said, Well, you know, I found out some things about my husband, and I said, Well, what are we talking about?
SPEAKER_01: It's hard to fix these things.
SPEAKER_01: Well, he he he embezzled.
SPEAKER_01: I didn't embezzle to our money.
SPEAKER_01: Basically, this cat took$29,000 out of their savings account.
SPEAKER_01: They both work, they both contribute to their savings and their check-in and everything.
SPEAKER_01: He took$29,000 out of their savings account, gave it to his brother in some business boondoggle that went legs up.
SPEAKER_01: He wasn't gonna tell his wife at all.
SPEAKER_01: He hid the bank statements that came for about two or three months, and finally she found out she couldn't find it.
SPEAKER_01: So she called the bank and said, Can I get a copy of our bank statements for the past couple, three months?
SPEAKER_01: Realized he took 29 large out and gave it to his brother.
SPEAKER_01: His brother lost it, all of it, went legs up.
SPEAKER_01: And he wasn't gonna tell his wife.
SPEAKER_01: And so they came to me and sat in my office and the lady.
SPEAKER_01: Here's why I'm not a good counselor.
SPEAKER_01: You should not come to me for marriage counseling.
SPEAKER_01: This lady said to me in my office right there, well, I know I shouldn't be angry, but I just am.
SPEAKER_01: I need you to help me not be angry.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking in my mind, what Bible do you read?
SPEAKER_01: And the guy looks at me like, Yeah, can you believe it?
SPEAKER_01: She's angry.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, I'm angry too.
SPEAKER_01: And you didn't steal nothing from me.
SPEAKER_01: And so I just tossed my Bible on the desk and said, Who told you you shouldn't be angry?
SPEAKER_01: Well, our pastor said, you know, that anger is destructive.
SPEAKER_01: Can be, can be, but the the Bible, I said, Do you realize?
SPEAKER_01: And I turned to this pastor, I said, You realize the Bible, it says, be angry and sin not, and do not give the devil a foothold or an opportunity.
SPEAKER_01: I said, if you don't learn to be angry about this and get it out, you're gonna give the devil an opportunity in your life.
SPEAKER_01: Because here's what you'll do: you'll you'll you'll you'll remind yourself all the things you put up with that you're angry about, and you didn't get to express that, and then you reward yourself.
SPEAKER_01: That's how you give the devil an opportunity.
SPEAKER_01: Well, no one knows how hard this is but you and me, God.
SPEAKER_01: And and so, I mean, no one has to know what I'm gonna do to pacify myself.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, So, why don't you tell your husband what this feels like?
SPEAKER_01: Let's just get the anger out so we can start the healing process.
SPEAKER_01: And she said, I don't think I've been allowed to be angry my whole life.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Was your mother a very polite, appropriate woman?
SPEAKER_01: And she said, Oh my gosh, my mother was Emily Post.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, I hate Emily Post.
SPEAKER_01: And she said, So I can just be honest about what I feel?
SPEAKER_01: Hear that, beloved.
SPEAKER_01: I put my head on my desk.
SPEAKER_01: Here was a grown woman who, for the first time in her life, was saying, So I can be honest about what I feel?
SPEAKER_01: And I looked at the man and said, How does this woman get married to you and be married to you for how long?
SPEAKER_01: 16 years.
SPEAKER_01: And she's not been able to be honest about how she feels.
SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's that's that's just the way she is.
SPEAKER_01: By the way, can you feel what's going on in this room right now?
SPEAKER_01: Jesus didn't die, ladies, for you to be well-mannered.
SPEAKER_01: Some of you men may wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night tonight, your wife's standing over you with an axe and a clown mask.
SPEAKER_01: Get up.
SPEAKER_01: I've listened to the sermon six times.
SPEAKER_01: I found my inner child.
SPEAKER_01: She's got something to say to you.
SPEAKER_01: Fourth imperative, fourth gospel.
SPEAKER_01: See, that's the Bible, the Bible, not the preacher.
SPEAKER_01: The Bible says, Hey, be angry.
SPEAKER_01: But don't sin.
SPEAKER_01: And do not give the devil an opportunity.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Because he loves to take that righteous anger and convince you that it's about you.
SPEAKER_01: I'm married to a woman who won't let that happen.
SPEAKER_01: When I pout like a little boy and think, you care more about that shit cat than you care about me.
SPEAKER_01: She's like, You got anything you want to say, or you just want to sulk?
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sulking, I'm watching basketball in my room.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: I even went as far as to say, I'm just taking some me time.
SPEAKER_01: Towards my wife just rolled her eyes.
SPEAKER_01: Like, whatever.
SPEAKER_01: Fourth gospel imperative for marriages do not grieve the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 30.
SPEAKER_01: Look at what he says.
SPEAKER_01: And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
SPEAKER_01: Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: See, God so wants us to understand how to live.
SPEAKER_01: Listen to me, beloved, that he put this mechanism inside of us by which we can know when we do the wrong thing.
SPEAKER_01: Did you realize that?
SPEAKER_01: It's the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: God comes to live inside of you by his spirit.
SPEAKER_01: And you can know when you do the wrong thing.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, can you still feel when you sin?
SPEAKER_01: And if you can't, beloved, you need to you need to check yourself because one of the evidences that we are Christians, that we've been born again, is that we have this mechanism inside of us.
SPEAKER_01: Do you remember?
SPEAKER_01: Here's the best way I know to describe it.
SPEAKER_01: Remember the game operation?
SPEAKER_01: Remember that?
SPEAKER_01: You got to get the little bone out, and if you you get the funny bone or whatever, and if you touch the side, it goes like, oh, and your friends, if you're like my family, competitive, just uber competitive women that have no mercy, like, oh, you touch the side, and they grab the tweezers, their turn.
SPEAKER_01: And I bump the table.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, sorry.
SPEAKER_01: You know, some of you have gotten some of you think you think when you're trying to do the right thing and you sin and it makes that sound that makes an operation, which is what?
SPEAKER_01: You think, oh, do not grieve.
SPEAKER_01: The Holy Spirit, you think that the Holy Spirit, the God, when you sin, God goes, eh.
SPEAKER_01: What if?
SPEAKER_01: What if when you touch the sides or you sin, instead of going, eh, God just says, hey, the king is one.
SPEAKER_01: The king is one.
SPEAKER_01: Why do you do that?
SPEAKER_01: Why do you lie to your friends at work?
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to lie.
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to manage their impression of you.
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to fear them or need their approval.
SPEAKER_01: The king is one.
SPEAKER_01: You can tell the truth.
SPEAKER_01: Why do you look at things like that on your computer?
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to do that.
SPEAKER_01: The king is one.
SPEAKER_01: I am such a bad counselor.
SPEAKER_01: I told a man not long ago.
SPEAKER_01: Every time you look at something inappropriate, Jesus is sitting right there, and his feelings for you never change.
SPEAKER_01: And he just says the same thing over and over.
SPEAKER_01: I've won.
SPEAKER_01: I've defeated this.
SPEAKER_01: This no longer has power over you.
SPEAKER_01: And the man said, Well, then why do I do it?
SPEAKER_01: That's a great question.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Tell me about how you grew up.
SPEAKER_01: And he grew up in a church with a military advisor for a pastor who told him to go out and fight the good fight.
SPEAKER_01: Siege ramps, archers, cavalry.
SPEAKER_01: We're in the fight of our life.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, The king is one.
SPEAKER_01: The king is one.
SPEAKER_01: The Bible says, do not grieve the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: I don't want you to hear, eh, I want you to hear, the king is one.
SPEAKER_01: The king is one.
SPEAKER_01: Last imperative for gospel imperative for marriage is in verse 32.
SPEAKER_01: It says, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.
SPEAKER_01: I would just say, forgive as you've been forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: That's why you need to understand the magnitude of what you've been forgiven for.
SPEAKER_01: You got to grasp that.
SPEAKER_01: Again, I appeal to my friend the good doctor Martin Lloyd Jones.
SPEAKER_01: He says that it's like if I was at your house and a package came and I paid for it.
SPEAKER_01: They said, Hey, there's some, there's some uh there's a bill due on this.
SPEAKER_01: And so I'd say, How much is it?
SPEAKER_01: Oh, here you go.
SPEAKER_01: And I paid for it.
SPEAKER_01: And you showed up 15 minutes later and I said, Hey, a package came and there was some money owed and I paid it.
SPEAKER_01: You would want to know how much it was, so you could kind of know how grateful to be, would you not?
SPEAKER_01: Because if it was like, hey, it was 42 cents for an extra stamp, you would shake my hand and say, Thank you.
SPEAKER_01: But if it was officers from the IRS delivering a certified mail, and they said, hey, this guy hadn't paid taxes in three years.
SPEAKER_01: He owes$96,618.27, and we're gonna seize his house and his car and everything.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm sitting there thinking, you know what, he's out with his family.
SPEAKER_01: They're fixing to get home and feel.
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to embarrass him like this in front of his kids.
SPEAKER_01: How much is it?
SPEAKER_01: Let me write you a check.
SPEAKER_01: And I wrote the whole amount, hands to the guy, and the guy said, Paid in full.
SPEAKER_01: All right, bye.
SPEAKER_01: They drove off and they passed you coming around the corner into your neighborhood.
SPEAKER_01: And you pulled in and got out with your wife and kids.
SPEAKER_01: You're like, hey, hey, hey.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, hey, a package came and there was some there was some due on the package, some there was uh some money due, but I paid it, and you said, How much was it?
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, don't worry, we'll talk about it later.
SPEAKER_01: And after dinner, you and I were sat on the back porch and you said, How much was it?
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, it was IRS and it was$96,618.27.
SPEAKER_01: Would you shake my hand and say thank you?
SPEAKER_01: Or would you want to get on your knees and go, Why would you do that?
SPEAKER_01: I'm here to tell you that you owed more than 42 cents.
SPEAKER_01: And God didn't want you to be humiliated on judgment day, and he paid it.
SPEAKER_01: He forgave you.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Because the king is won.
SPEAKER_01: The Ewangelion, the good news that comes back from the front lines is that the king is won.
SPEAKER_01: Live in the peace that's been accomplished for you.
SPEAKER_01: And so when the Bible says be kind and tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ has forgiven you, it's not try harder to forgive.
SPEAKER_01: That's not that's not the gospel.
SPEAKER_01: That's religion.
SPEAKER_01: The gospel is remember how much how you were forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: It's paid for.
SPEAKER_01: And so this section begins and ends by talking about the heart.
SPEAKER_01: Did you notice that?
SPEAKER_01: Verse 17.
SPEAKER_01: Now, this I say in testifying the Lord, you must no longer walk as Gentiles, as people that don't know God and the futility of their minds, they're darkening in their understanding, they're alienated from the life of God because the ignorance that is in them due to the hardness of heart, due to their hardness of heart.
SPEAKER_01: But he says, hey, be kind to one another and tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.
SPEAKER_01: So I just want to close and I want us to just think about just for a moment.
SPEAKER_01: What's your heart like towards God these days?
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever had the experience of just everything being paid for?
SPEAKER_01: Your debt, the debt that your sin has racked up, being paid for.
SPEAKER_01: And God is not a God that follows you around going, your turn is over, next.
SPEAKER_01: That He's the God who, by His Spirit, comes living inside of you and just whispers over you on a daily basis, the King is one.
SPEAKER_01: The King is one.
SPEAKER_01: Live in the peace of what's been accomplished on your behalf, in your place.
SPEAKER_01: That is what we mean by a gospel imperative for marriage.
SPEAKER_01: So you could be tenderhearted towards your spouse, and she's not getting over on you, and he's not taking advantage of you, and you can be forgiving.
SPEAKER_01: Why?
SPEAKER_01: Because Christ forgave you.
SPEAKER_01: Let me voice a prayer.
SPEAKER_01: God thanks for your word.
SPEAKER_01: It's not heavy, it's not heavy-handed.
SPEAKER_01: It invites us to think and to live and to love differently.
SPEAKER_01: And it's kind of what we saw in the baptism.
SPEAKER_01: Uh it's that it's it's we're the salt.
SPEAKER_01: We get to bring out all the God flavors in this world.
SPEAKER_01: And that's juicy, that's not dry, that's joyful, it's not dreadful.
SPEAKER_01: And so forgive us where we've misrepresented the gospel.
SPEAKER_01: Forgive us where we've acted like military commanders who are bracing for impact.
SPEAKER_01: And instead, we we want to act like messengers who know that the king is one, and who are living in what's been accomplished on our behalf.
SPEAKER_01: And so uh we're grateful for what you've accomplished and we worship you and thank you for that.
SPEAKER_01: And we say, we say thank you in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_01: And everyone said, Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Hold your hands out and speak a blessing over you.
SPEAKER_01: In the gospel, you hear not just be, but you hear because.
SPEAKER_01: Depart now and live in the because of the gospel.
SPEAKER_01: This is your identity.
SPEAKER_01: And therefore, let it be your activity.
SPEAKER_01: In the name of the Father, and the Son, the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Bless you or dismiss you.