WEBVTT 00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:08.640 This podcast is the Ministry of Grant Parkway Baptist Church. 00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:09.759 Helping people know. 00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:10.640 Enjoy. 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:12.400 Glorify God. 00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:14.800 For more information on Grant Hartway. 00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:17.039 This is GrantHartway.org. 00:00:20.559 --> 00:00:21.039 Amen. 00:00:21.199 --> 00:00:21.519 Amen. 00:00:21.600 --> 00:00:22.399 Let's pray together. 00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:26.399 Lord, we understand that the last enemy to be defeated is death. 00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:29.120 And death has been defeated, so we don't live in fear. 00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:32.799 It is not a fearful, unknown experience for us. 00:00:32.960 --> 00:00:39.439 It's us striking our earthly tent and moving into our permanent dwelling, leaving what is temporary for what is eternal. 00:00:39.679 --> 00:00:41.759 What is immortal gets swallowed up by life. 00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:47.039 And so, Lord, we don't esteem and we we don't have this over-exalted view of death. 00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:48.320 We just don't fear it anymore. 00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:53.200 There's plenty of life to be lived here on this earth for the glory of God and for the expansion of your kingdom. 00:00:53.359 --> 00:00:56.880 That's why we're breathing right now, God, is to be about both of those things. 00:00:57.119 --> 00:01:05.359 We by nature have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but you're a God of restoration, and you restore us to be men and women who live for your glory. 00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:09.840 Lord, let us hear a glory song come out of Nagma today. 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:11.040 Lord, this is our prayer. 00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:14.719 We prayed in Jesus' name, and everyone said, Amen, amen. 00:01:14.799 --> 00:01:15.519 You can have a seat. 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:16.879 Uh let me introduce myself. 00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:18.400 If you're visiting today, my name is Neil. 00:01:18.480 --> 00:01:20.159 I'm the lead pastor at Grand Parkway. 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:34.640 Uh, and about six years ago, uh, we had our friend Nagme Abedini at the time come, uh, her husband Said was imprisoned in Iran, and our church was one of thousands all over the country that had that held prayer rallies for his release. 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:38.719 Uh, we prayed for the him and them and their children as it went through all of that. 00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:49.200 Uh, and and then uh Saeed got released, uh, and then some things came to light that no one knew was going on, and so it was a very uh dark, difficult time for Nagmay. 00:01:49.280 --> 00:02:01.920 And my wife, who is the forward-thinking visionary in our marriage, said to me months ago, Hey, I've been praying about it, and I want to have uh Miriam Ibrahim and Nagame at the table one night uh uh in in the spring. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:03.040 And I said, That's great. 00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:08.719 And and I said, Because I'm lazy, I said, Hey, uh, if they're gonna be here, uh, don't fly them in on Sunday. 00:02:08.800 --> 00:02:13.599 If they're gonna fly them in Saturday and see if Nagmane could come and just kind of tell some more of her story. 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.759 Uh and she said, that well, okay, I'll ask it. 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:17.280 Nagme was very gracious. 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:18.800 Um, a lot has changed. 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:26.400 Her, like, for example, her name is no longer uh Nagme Abedini, it is Nagma Panahi, uh, which is her maiden name, I believe. 00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:33.120 Uh and so uh six years ago she was with us, and instead of me trying to tell her story, she's agreed to let me interview her this morning. 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:37.039 So, Grand Parkway, would you please welcome back Nagme Panahi? 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:52.000 Well, long time no city. 00:02:52.479 --> 00:03:01.840 Um we know some of the story about Saeed, his imprisonment, all that, but I'd like to go back uh to the very beginning and just hear a little bit about you. 00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:06.560 I think you have a life uh and an identity apart from all that's happened to you. 00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:09.439 And so tell us a little bit about your upbringing. 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:16.240 You were born and raised in Iran, lived there for a period of time, and then your family moved to the States. 00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:17.680 Kind of fill us in on all that. 00:03:18.159 --> 00:03:22.000 I was born into a strong Muslim family in Iran. 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:26.560 Um at and uh at the age of nine we came to America. 00:03:26.639 --> 00:03:32.000 Uh my dad was a practicing Muslim, very strong, um, so was my mom. 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:36.080 And um we grew up in war and we had a lot of questions. 00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:38.240 My brother and I saw people dying. 00:03:38.319 --> 00:03:42.639 We would go to our school and there'd be rubble where houses used to be. 00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:45.199 There was bombs and missiles being dropped. 00:03:45.520 --> 00:03:49.599 And we would always ask, okay, who is this God and why is he allowing this? 00:03:49.759 --> 00:03:52.240 We had really hard questions we couldn't get answered. 00:03:52.400 --> 00:03:59.120 We tried Islam um harder, we tried to pray harder, which in Islam you do the ritualistic prayer. 00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:03.120 We there's fasting, Ramadan, we try to do that at a young age. 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:08.080 We try to follow our parents, but we couldn't get that question answered of who is God. 00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:14.560 And um the war got really bad where there was chemical warfare and little kids going to war. 00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:16.000 My brother How old are you? 00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:16.879 And all this is happening. 00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:18.240 Like eight or nine. 00:04:18.560 --> 00:04:19.360 Okay, go ahead. 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:20.319 Yeah. 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:32.399 Um, and uh the the situation with the war got really bad where there was chemical warfare, and uh my brother was getting indoctrinated in school to go fight in a jihad and die. 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:34.240 That's how he could go to heaven. 00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:44.399 Uh they were um going to schools and getting little boys to go to war so they could run through mines, and uh then the soldiers could go and they treat them like cattle. 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:47.120 They would treat them like you know, so the training. 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:50.959 So basically they send children into the minefield to clear the path for soldiers. 00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:52.399 For the soldiers, yeah. 00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:58.639 My parents were afraid that he my brother was gonna do that because uh the parents couldn't stop the kids from doing that. 00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:10.560 We had some friends, the parents said no, you can't go, and the parents were in prison because the Iranian government considered them um being against the government for not letting their child go to war. 00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:15.439 So my parents knew they couldn't say no to my brother, and there was chemical warfare. 00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:19.600 And right before we came, me and my brother was were praying very hard. 00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:22.319 And for the first time, we prayed directly to God. 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:27.920 We didn't say the ritualistic prayer, which we didn't understand because our language is far sea and we had to pray in Arabic. 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:30.560 But those prayers we would just repeat, repeat. 00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:34.720 But for the first time, we just prayed in our own language, and I said, we said, God, why? 00:05:34.879 --> 00:05:37.519 Why are you allowing this uh war? 00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:39.040 Why so many deaths? 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:40.639 We want to know who you are. 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:48.160 Within, I don't know, soon after my dad, uh maybe within weeks, my dad said, We got accepted, we can go to America. 00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:49.360 We're gonna leave this war. 00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:52.160 Let me let me apologize for right there. 00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:56.160 Uh what do people at the time in Iran think about America? 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:06.319 I at that time, I basically when I was born, soon after it was the hostage crisis and the revolution. 00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:08.639 I all I remember is war and chaos. 00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:18.000 Uh I don't think there was much uh discussion, but uh from our family's discussion about Iran was that um there was a lot of sin. 00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:23.040 It was a sinful country, it was a Christian country, but it was a lot of uh it was sinful. 00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:33.920 So when you go to America, you have to be have your guard up, keep your culture, keep your because the Christian culture is all about you know, drug, sex, and rock and roll, just all that crazy lifestyle. 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:37.759 And uh that's what that's how my parents saw America. 00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:40.879 So you moved to America, and where'd you move to? 00:06:41.199 --> 00:06:42.560 California, San Jose. 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:45.920 Well, that your parents are right about that part, and that's not America. 00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:48.319 That's California, not America. 00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:52.079 Um just a joke, just a joke. 00:06:52.319 --> 00:06:54.240 So you moved to California. 00:06:54.959 --> 00:06:59.839 Yeah, we had my dad had some brothers that lived there that were studying in the university. 00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:01.759 Um, so we moved there. 00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:10.319 Uh I don't remember exactly, maybe within a few weeks or maybe a month after we arrived, my brother came running to me and he was crying. 00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:16.319 He was very emotional, and my brother doesn't get very emotional, and he said, Nagme, I found the God we've been looking for. 00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:17.600 His name is Jesus. 00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:20.800 I was like, I never heard that before. 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:28.000 And he said, I was just praying and I saw Jesus, and all I felt was God's love. 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:33.519 So I don't know all the answers to life, but I know his name is Jesus, and there's love. 00:07:33.759 --> 00:07:38.560 And so we uh we were in a neighborhood that had a swimming pool, like a townhouse. 00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:41.600 We ran around asking people who Jesus was. 00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:49.040 There was Iranians there, so they had uh there was Iranian Christians there, gave us a Bible, Iranian Bible, baptized us. 00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:57.759 Uh, my parents found out, I remember it was a Psalm New Testament because I got into like the Psalm 2 before it was taken away from me. 00:07:57.920 --> 00:08:08.560 And uh it was the prayer that the last thing I read before my parents took the Bible away was Um, today I've begotten you, ask of me, and I will give you the nations for your inheritance. 00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:12.959 And for me, at that young age, I felt like I was begotten as a child of God. 00:08:13.199 --> 00:08:22.959 Now I could ask for salvation of nations, and my heart's desire from the moment of salvation was to see the Muslim world come to know Christ because that's what I was saved out of. 00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:30.639 And so when you're saved out of something like a drug addiction or whatever, you know how bad it is, and you want other people to experience freedom. 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:32.960 So that has been my passion since age and I. 00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:34.559 My dad got very angry. 00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:36.559 He said, What happened to you now? 00:08:36.720 --> 00:08:41.279 Becoming Christian is worse than if you would have died in the war. 00:08:41.600 --> 00:08:43.600 You know, he said, We're going back to Iran. 00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:44.720 If we die, we die. 00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:46.879 You've lost everything by becoming Christian. 00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:49.600 You've lost your culture, you've lost your identity. 00:08:50.159 --> 00:08:53.919 Um and so he was actually thinking of taking us back. 00:08:54.000 --> 00:09:00.799 And that time my brother was Christian, so he cried, said, I don't want to die, and I don't want to fight in a Muslim war. 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:03.120 And he didn't want to do that anymore. 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:12.399 And uh, but my uncle he said, You're making a very uh bad decision, uh, going back to war, and it was getting worse and worse towards the end. 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:21.840 And he said, I got he just graduated, my uncle had just graduated from college, um, and he said, I found a job in a place called Boisi, Idaho. 00:09:22.080 --> 00:09:24.320 And he said, It sounds to be in the middle of nowhere. 00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:25.039 I haven't heard of it. 00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:25.759 It is. 00:09:25.919 --> 00:09:37.919 It is, it is, and he said, Um, your kids are so small, they're gonna forget about Jesus, and uh, you can just watch them, debrainwash them back to Islam. 00:09:38.080 --> 00:09:40.080 It's not a big deal, just give it time. 00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:41.279 So that was the plan. 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:53.840 They moved us to Idaho to, they watched, they took us our Bible away, they wouldn't let us pray together, they wouldn't let us associate with other uh Americans, they were afraid we might, you know, have Christian friends. 00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:55.360 And that that was their plan. 00:09:55.440 --> 00:09:57.360 We were gonna forget about it, we're so young. 00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:59.360 And as children, you want to please your parents. 00:09:59.440 --> 00:10:05.919 So they thought, of course, they're just they're not gonna mess up the family by just keeping bel keeping on believing in Jesus. 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:11.120 And it was by God's grace God kept our faith because there was no Bible, there was no church, nothing. 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:14.559 And uh during this time, are you praying? 00:10:14.960 --> 00:10:18.080 Personally, I he would, they wouldn't even let me and my brother pray together. 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:19.919 So it was personal prayer. 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:23.279 Um, I would cry out to God for their salvation. 00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:24.720 Um, I never thought it would come. 00:10:24.799 --> 00:10:30.320 I honestly was like, I thought if my parents ever get saved, it's like the end will be c will come. 00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:37.120 And they were just so I don't know if you have people like that in your life where you're like, you think there's never Yes, we do. 00:10:38.480 --> 00:10:40.080 Never gonna come to faith. 00:10:40.159 --> 00:10:45.279 Like if you the they come to faith, you'll be like, Hang on, hang on one second, pardon me to interrupt you. 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:50.559 How many in this room out here have somebody in your life you just think they would be a miracle for that person to come to faith? 00:10:50.639 --> 00:10:51.519 Would you raise your hand? 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:53.279 That's how it was. 00:10:53.360 --> 00:11:03.600 I just I couldn't imagine my strong-spirited Muslim dad who prided himself being a descendant of Muhammad, and that was our great family pride. 00:11:03.679 --> 00:11:13.840 We were uh sayids, which in my country you get people give you certain money because you have direct connection to the Prophet of Islam, you have his blood in you. 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:20.399 He was so prideful and happy about that that I thought never, he will never kneel before Christ. 00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:22.879 And I would cry about it. 00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:25.200 So it was they were he was pretty intense. 00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:27.840 The there was um anger and abuse. 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:31.759 He tried to bring us back to believing in Islam. 00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:45.360 My mom uh was also tried her own ways, but uh I was about 16, 17 when I noticed they weren't as mean and they weren't as aggressive about it of trying to convince us, and I couldn't understand why. 00:11:45.519 --> 00:11:48.159 And I uh would sneak out at age 16. 00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:49.840 I had just gotten my driver's license. 00:11:49.919 --> 00:12:00.399 I would sneak out Sunday morning and go to a church that was had an early service, eight o'clock, and uh my parents, you know, weekend they would sleep in, everyone would sleep in, so I would go to church and come back. 00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:02.480 Time out, you snuck out to go to church? 00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:04.080 I snuck out to go to church on Sunday. 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:06.080 Happens in America all the time. 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:17.600 And uh my parents found out, I was like 16 and a half, about a few months into it, they found out, and then um they weren't mad. 00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:23.440 And actually, right around I think I was 17, they started actually coming to the church and visiting with me. 00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:33.120 And I was and my brother came and um my sister years later said I was I believed what you guys believed, but I was afraid to say it because I saw what happened to you. 00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:36.480 So she was she's like, there was no way I was gonna do it. 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:38.639 I'll stay back here, you guys go take take the punishment. 00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:44.399 He's like, I saw, she's like, I saw how what you guys went through, and I was like, no, I believe in Jesus, but I'm not gonna say it. 00:12:44.639 --> 00:12:48.480 Um so my sister started coming. 00:12:48.720 --> 00:13:07.440 Years later, uh, I couldn't understand why my parents had changed, but it was years later that I learned uh because that was about eight, nine years into eight years into my me and my brother getting uh following Christ, and my parents had finally like um become better, they weren't as angry. 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:11.279 Um, but it was nine, eight years of intense persecution. 00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:17.440 And later I found out that the Bible that they had taken from us, my mom had started reading it. 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:33.039 And um my dad had noticed a change in her, and she was afraid to tell him because my dad was like very strong Muslim, and he he just but she had changed, she was calm, their marriage was better, and um he started reading the Bible. 00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:40.559 So I didn't know that at age 16, 17 that that's what was going on, but they were the same Bible that you said you read the first two Psalms. 00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:46.320 By the way, part of Psalm 2 says, Why do the nations rage and the people's plot in vain? 00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:47.360 Yes. 00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:52.080 So when God has his hand on you, every plot against you is in vain. 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:52.879 Amen. 00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:53.759 So keep going. 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:55.759 Your parents I love that psalm. 00:13:55.840 --> 00:14:03.039 It's the last psalm, last word of you know, last thing I read before my Bible was taken, it's always stayed with me. 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:05.519 So um, and that's been my prayer. 00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:12.799 But yeah, my parents had uh had had been on this road of discovering Christ, or Christ was pursuing them. 00:14:12.960 --> 00:14:22.240 And uh we I went to college to kind of I didn't know at that time that my parents were reading the Bible, but I noticed they were better and and the way they were treating us. 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:28.879 And me and my brother, twin brother, went to college and went to University of Puget Sound, which is a pretty liberal university near Seattle. 00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:30.080 Which is in Seattle, yes. 00:14:30.159 --> 00:14:34.799 If you don't know, it's in Seattle, just turn on the news and see what happens in the streets of Seattle. 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:40.320 And in my mind, I thought we're going to away from my parents. 00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:50.000 This is where I can grow in my Christian walk, and I can join a church, you know, all the stuff I wanted to do, and I was surprised because it was so secular. 00:14:50.399 --> 00:14:58.799 Um and I joined a Christian group called Innvarsity, and I started sharing the gospel, and I did go to a local church there. 00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:00.879 Um and it was just amazing. 00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:11.519 I was studying pre-med, so a lot of uh by the way, my twin brother went on to become have a doctorate in quantum physics, and we were on this road of you gotta you you have to be a doctor, I don't care what kind of doctor. 00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:13.360 The family lineage depends on you. 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:17.120 Yeah, so my brother ended up following through with that. 00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:21.279 I ended up just studying pre-med and then going to Iran as a missionary. 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:25.120 But um, but all my teachers were like, you guys are so smart. 00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:34.639 And one of the reasons my brother won it the doctorate degree, he didn't tell my dad at that time, was he could show his colleagues you can be very smart and you can believe in Jesus. 00:15:34.799 --> 00:15:35.919 Like it doesn't matter. 00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:42.559 And um so uh my teachers would be like, Nogmazi, they would tell my friends, she's so smart. 00:15:42.639 --> 00:15:44.799 She's like, Why is she believing in this Jesus? 00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:47.840 Why is she involved in this Bible studies, dorm Bible studies? 00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:55.519 I ended up leading one for uh non-believers seekers, and there was people that came to know Christ there. 00:15:55.759 --> 00:16:04.720 So my heart was always evangelism, and then I graduated from college, and I really felt like instead of going to med school, God called me to go to Iran. 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:13.679 So um it's a long story, but uh it was a few years of fighting with the Lord because I went to India and God's like, nope, Iran, not India. 00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:14.639 And but long story. 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:16.240 Nice try, but not where I want you to go. 00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:26.320 But long story short, it was right after September 11 that I really felt like God said it's the what's gonna change the Middle East is my gospel. 00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:27.759 So time out. 00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:31.440 You went to the Middle East right after September the 11th, on a plane. 00:16:31.759 --> 00:16:40.720 On a plane that in my life, even to this day, when I was coming here yesterday, I was having anxiety getting on a plane because for me, airplanes meant bombs. 00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:53.759 I've always struggled with airplanes, it just takes me back to my childhood of where bombs were being dropped, people were dying, and so um I have uh the first time I saw a commercial airplane, I it was really scary. 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:58.320 I couldn't I couldn't understand that there could be airplanes that were not meant to drop bombs. 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:05.279 But um, so I was flying into the Middle East on an airplane where everyone was canceling their flights. 00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:08.480 If you remember that time, no one wanted to get on a flight. 00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:10.720 So there's you and six other people on the plane. 00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:14.160 Yeah, it's me and the pilot flying into the Middle East. 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:15.599 You want to sit on the jump seat? 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:16.480 Come on up here. 00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:18.240 Look at the windshield. 00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:21.680 It was not a busy, you know, it's not a full flight. 00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:31.599 I was really scared, I have to say, you know, we want to paint the world wants to paint us as heroes and you know, the persecuted church, but they're humans. 00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:38.960 And uh I share this story because, you know, I was flying into Iran, it was right after September 11. 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:42.880 The Iranian there was a talk of war, possible war, with George Bush. 00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:47.119 He was giving these talks, and um I was really scared. 00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:52.960 I knew if I wrote on my uh they ask you what religion you are when you get into the country. 00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:54.559 I know I was registered as a Muslim. 00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:57.680 When you're born, you're registered as a you're born into Islam. 00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:01.200 I knew if I wrote um Christian, I would get in trouble. 00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:02.559 So I actually wrote Muslim. 00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:04.079 I was it was a Peter moment. 00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:05.839 I got really scared. 00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:11.440 And I remember just so going home, getting off the plane, and everything was fine. 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:12.720 I went home and I just cried. 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:15.039 I said, Lord, give me another chance. 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:19.279 Like I, it was like such a bad, like I could understand what Peter felt. 00:18:19.920 --> 00:18:28.480 And uh it was about three years later that I had a situation where I was arrested by Iranian Revolutionary Guard. 00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:34.079 By the way, it's the same Revolutionary Guard that Sulaimani was the head of uh that got killed. 00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:39.039 They're really intense, they go after Christians, they kill them, they persecute them, they imprison them. 00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:41.039 I was arrested um by them. 00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:48.160 I had guns pointed to me, and I was told I was gonna go to prison, I was gonna get raped, I was gonna die if I did not say I was a Muslim. 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:49.839 And they had this sheet in front of me. 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:50.799 They said, choose. 00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:55.680 If you say you're Muslim, we're gonna call your, you know, my parents weren't in Iran at that time. 00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:58.880 We're gonna call your um fiance's parents and you can go. 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.160 But if you say you're Christian, this is what's gonna happen to you. 00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:04.160 You realize, and they said, now choose. 00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:06.240 So it's spelled out on a sheet of paper. 00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:13.200 Yeah, well, they they had a sheet of paper that I had to write Muslim or Christian, and if I wrote Christian, I had to write, give them evidence. 00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:16.799 Like I basically everything I wrote was gonna be be used against me in court. 00:19:16.880 --> 00:19:20.319 So I had to write what how why did I become a Christian? 00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:21.599 How did I become a Christian? 00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:23.680 And my testimony, and all of that. 00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:28.640 Because in Iran, converting from Islam to Christianity has the death penalty. 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:32.160 So they told me all of that, like read me my rights. 00:19:32.319 --> 00:19:34.000 This is what's gonna happen. 00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:40.079 And at that moment I was frozen with fear, but it God says, you know, when you're arrested, he will give you the words. 00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:45.759 And I said, God, I didn't even want to, your your uh worldly flesh wants to shut down. 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:50.319 I'm not gonna say I'm a Christian, like save me, save me! Don't say it. 00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:56.000 And I literally couldn't speak, and God just opened my mouth and I said, I'm a Christian. 00:19:56.240 --> 00:20:06.880 And uh I can't go into detail of that, but what happened was through that, the this was the top interrogator who was threatening me through all of this. 00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:11.440 He cried at the end and asked for a Bible, and he said, Just go, just go. 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:25.440 And um, I realized at that time that if I God gave me those words, not just for me to save my life, but that guy needed to hear, my persecutor, uh, who was gonna kill me for my faith, needed to hear. 00:20:25.759 --> 00:20:34.480 Because for him, that was why would someone say, Okay, I will do, I I'm willing to go down this road that you just said, because of Jesus. 00:20:34.640 --> 00:20:38.319 And so I explained to him how I got saved, and I gave my story. 00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:46.960 Anyway, so uh I just love to share this story because um you know, the first time I was scared in my flesh, and I said I was a Muslim. 00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:51.759 The second time I was scared in my flesh, but the Holy Spirit, by the grace of God, took over. 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:52.640 Absolutely. 00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:55.200 So your suffering becomes a platform for your message. 00:20:55.519 --> 00:20:57.680 It did, it really did for that one person. 00:20:57.839 --> 00:20:58.960 He needed to hear that. 00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:03.440 And that's how God uses, you know, for one person he sent, you know. 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:12.480 I I knew that the reason I said that was not, again, not just for to say protect me, but he was doing it for that guy who needed to hear it. 00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:13.279 Absolutely. 00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:14.559 So you're in Iran. 00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:16.000 How old are you at the time? 00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:17.839 Uh mid-twenties. 00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:20.079 So this is where you meet Said. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:21.279 I meet I meet Saeed. 00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:23.519 I met Said about a year after I went to Iran. 00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:24.799 What drew you to him? 00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:27.680 When you see him, what Yeah, charismatic. 00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:29.359 He was very charismatic. 00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:32.400 Um, I've always been a pretty intense Christian. 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:36.480 Some people think I'm kind of on the crazy end, but I didn't really date. 00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:38.400 Um say that again? 00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:39.759 I didn't look crazy. 00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:40.559 No, no, no. 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:42.319 The other part, I didn't really what? 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:43.359 I didn't date at all. 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:44.720 I've got two daughters. 00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:45.680 I just want them to hear that. 00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:46.400 Okay. 00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:52.079 And uh I was like just focused on Christ. 00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:59.759 I really the that kind of the party world dating, it just never really attracted my attention, and I was like set on Christ. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.400 Sharing the gospel, doing Bible studies. 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:09.519 So, what caught my attention was Said was he was very charismatic and he seemed to have the same passion of evangelism. 00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:11.599 I'm like, I'm an evangelist at heart. 00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:14.000 That's like that's what I love. 00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:21.359 Um, and so he seemed to have the same, there's was charismatic, and he seemed to really want to reach Muslims for Christ. 00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:26.640 That's what drew me to him, and so we got married in 2004 in Iran. 00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:27.680 In Iran? 00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:29.440 He'd never been to America. 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:31.599 So when did you guys come to America? 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:33.039 About a year later. 00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:38.880 The so when I went to Iran in 2001, there was maybe five, I was sharing the gospel. 00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:40.559 Five people came to know the Lord. 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:43.200 Three of them were my cousins and two others. 00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:48.400 And by 2005, when we left Iran, it was over 2,000. 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:55.599 And anyone knows if you've evangelized to anyone better yet, Muslims, you can't argue someone into faith. 00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:59.279 Um, it really it's it's it's a miracle and it's a move of God. 00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:03.440 There's no way I can say I reached this many people for Christ. 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:06.160 It's like you're kind of watching like the rest of us. 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:14.319 Like you're just it's kind of like right now, Iran is becoming, there's revival happening, it's becoming there's a movement of Christian people coming to know Christ. 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:16.559 No man can get get credit for that. 00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:20.240 It has to be a move of God for a Muslim to see the light and to bow down. 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:21.359 The same thing that happened. 00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:28.960 Oh, by the way, my parents, my dad, the first time I have to say this, I graduated from college, I went to church with them. 00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:31.680 He went down to the altar, kneeled, and was crying. 00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:35.200 And I was like, never thought I would see this. 00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:47.039 Never, never, never thought I would see my prideful, strong Muslim dad bowing before Jesus and crying out to him. 00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:50.480 And so that was that's one of the images I will always carry with me. 00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:54.799 But um, if anyone comes to know Christ, it's by God, it's the move of God. 00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:56.559 There's no way you can convince them. 00:23:56.720 --> 00:23:58.640 So what's happening in Iran? 00:23:58.720 --> 00:24:10.240 We saw thousands come to know the Lord in 30 cities, it was growing, the persecution was intense, and that's why Said and I left Iran, and I was at that time pregnant with my um daughter, Rebecca. 00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:11.279 That's your first child. 00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:12.079 My first child. 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:13.839 In 2005, I was pregnant with her. 00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:14.400 Okay. 00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:19.279 At what point in the relationship did you think I don't think this should be happening? 00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:21.119 I shouldn't be treated this way. 00:24:21.759 --> 00:24:24.079 You know, um, early on I could see stuff. 00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:26.160 The way he was treating me was not right. 00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:28.160 He was um it was very bad. 00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:32.960 There was physical abuse, um, a lot, you know, a lot of violence and things. 00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:34.799 But I thought it doesn't matter. 00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:36.960 Like, I I know You thought what? 00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:41.279 Well, I thought this is what I'm glad God calls us sheep because I'm definitely a sheep. 00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:43.359 Like, I'm dumb, not very smart. 00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:47.599 But I um I thought, you know what, as long as he loves God and he's evangelizing, that's fine. 00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:49.200 He doesn't need to abuses me. 00:24:49.279 --> 00:24:50.880 As long as you love God and that's fine. 00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:53.279 My wife would never go for that, by the way. 00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:57.599 I would wake up with her with an axe and a clown mask standing over my bed. 00:24:57.920 --> 00:24:58.799 I don't believe that. 00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:04.720 So your thinking is your thinking is uh as long as he loves God, this is okay. 00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:05.359 I can take that. 00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:08.960 I didn't correlate that if you love God, you're gonna treat people right. 00:25:09.119 --> 00:25:10.559 I didn't connect that too. 00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:16.720 That your relationship with God is a direct correlation of how you treat people, especially your family. 00:25:16.799 --> 00:25:23.519 I just didn't um I was caught up in the charisma, and it was, I have to tell you, I've been a you know Christian since I was nine. 00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:35.119 It was not until uh four years ago, five years ago, that God showed me that, really revealed that Bible verse where it says, In the end days, many will say to Jesus, I did miracles in your name. 00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:41.440 And you know, I'll did all this big stuff, miracles, prophecy, and Jesus will say, I never knew you. 00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:42.160 I was like, What? 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:44.319 How could someone do big stuff for God? 00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:46.400 And God says, I never knew you. 00:25:46.640 --> 00:26:04.319 And God had really opened up my word through uh his word through um, really opened up my mind through his word that as Christians we want heroes, we want people to do great stuff for God, we want saviors, we want, and we want to clap for them, and we are we are so consumed with the good works. 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:12.160 We don't care if they treat other people wrongly, we don't care if they have a foul mouth or uh they beat their wife or they cheat on them. 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:16.640 They're like, oh, but they're doing so much good stuff for God, and that's what caught me up. 00:26:16.799 --> 00:26:17.759 That's how I got caught up. 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:20.000 I'm like, but he's doing so much good stuff for God. 00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:30.640 Like, I don't care if he has these flaws and alarms would go off, and and eventually it will come back to get you because it will it does matter to Christ. 00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:43.359 Because um, for me, it was like it doesn't matter as long as the kingdom of God is what matters, it doesn't matter all this stuff that so I picked up on the alarms early on, but I kept pushing it down like it doesn't matter. 00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:52.079 We're reaching people for Christ, that's all that matters, and I'm just gonna forgive, I'm just gonna submit more, I'm gonna love more, and I'm just gonna lay down my life. 00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:57.200 And um So this is going on how how long before you start dating? 00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:59.680 How long into the relationship before you're like the dating? 00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:01.839 There was a few times I almost broke it off. 00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:05.519 Even in the dating, it was I was it was already happening. 00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:06.160 It was already happening. 00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:14.160 So the most subtle form of what I would call abuse was what he he started saying my family was all bad. 00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:15.920 He was he started cutting off my connection. 00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:17.839 He isolate you isolated me. 00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:23.279 He started saying, Oh, your dad has this, your mom's this, your sister's emotional, your brother is crazy. 00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:30.000 It's just and all of a sudden all my friends and family were bad, and he was my only the only person I could trust. 00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:39.359 And he wanted he and isolation is a big, big way people try to control you because abuse is not about someone beating someone else, it's about someone controlling someone else. 00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:47.839 So one of the things it's about it's all about power and control, it's not about physical abuse, which a lot of people think it's someone trying to control another person. 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:51.279 So one of the ways they do it, they cut off your other support systems. 00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:55.519 So they can be your only source of uh dependence. 00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:58.240 And so that's the first sign, but I couldn't understand. 00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:00.240 I was like, oh, maybe he's more spiritual. 00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:04.000 Um, the other was uh he started tearing me to pieces. 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:16.000 Like um, I was not like I never thought I was like the most beautiful person, but I didn't think I was ugly, but he would say, Oh my goodness, you need to do surgery, your nose, your eyebrows need to, you're not so pretty. 00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:17.519 Oh, look at your weight. 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:22.799 Oh, if this it was just like all of a sudden I start being like, Oh, oh my goodness, I'm not. 00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:26.160 And he starts I was feeling good about myself, but now I hate myself. 00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:31.839 But tearing me down and then questioning my, are you sure you thought about that right? 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:37.279 Or um, they call gaslighting where you're like, Are you sure you saw this the way it was? 00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:42.640 Because he would do certain things and I would know it was wrong, and he'd say, No, you saw it wrong. 00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:54.400 Um, but then he I also so in order to control you, they need to also make you question your own um yourself, like your own uh brain that God has given you. 00:28:54.559 --> 00:29:09.039 And then also the word of God, because he was very charismatic, and I was raised in a very the word of God was trumped everything, and he would say, You're not letting the Holy Spirit move, you're just can't you're just like bound down to this word of God. 00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:14.880 The Holy Spirit works outside of this, and there's apostles that are rewriting, you know, I'm one of them. 00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:26.240 Yeah, so moving me away from the word of God was also another one where Saeed became my source of truth, and that's what God had to break me free of was idolatry. 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:35.119 And it shocked me to the core that I was following Christ, I was sharing the gospel to the world when he was in prison, and I was bowing down to idols. 00:29:35.279 --> 00:29:49.200 The moment God opened my eyes up to the idols of this world, money, fame, peoples, opinions, marriage, another human being, a human being should not, no, nothing in life should um control you by fear. 00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:51.200 Only fear of uh reverence for God. 00:29:51.359 --> 00:30:04.240 So if there's any fear of what if people do this, what you know, any fear of losing things, losing your family, losing your mare, any fear that that paralyzes you is a form of idolatry, is what I I had to learn. 00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:12.480 But for me, it was shocking that I could be so in love with Christ, I could follow Christ so closely, and I didn't know I had idols in my life. 00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:15.599 I couldn't see it until God really lifted that. 00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:28.799 So yeah, it uh it was during the last year of Saeed's imprisonment when I was laying down my life, I was traveling three or four times a month, and I knew between me and God that why I was doing it was for Saeed. 00:30:29.039 --> 00:30:32.319