SPEAKER_00: This podcast is a ministry of Grand Parkway Baptist Church, helping people know, enjoy, and glorify God.
SPEAKER_00: For more information about Grand Parkway, visit Grandparkway.org.
SPEAKER_01: Well, welcome to Grand Parkway.
SPEAKER_01: I'm Rick.
SPEAKER_01: I'm one of the pastors here.
SPEAKER_01: And we have been in and out of a series for the last couple of months called Flourish, where we have been in the book of Exodus and then we have taken kind of hit the pause button and camped in the Ten Commandments because we're convinced that God created us to flourish.
SPEAKER_01: That's his deepest desire for us.
SPEAKER_01: But on our own, we can't figure out just how to do that.
SPEAKER_01: So God said, let me kind of show you what it looks like to live in the world the way I created you.
SPEAKER_01: So there's some things you should do, and there's some things you shouldn't do.
SPEAKER_01: So we're in the last of our flourish series, and we're on the 10th commandment, and I got to thinking about this and how I've wrestled with this commandment over my life.
SPEAKER_01: And I remembered when my kids were young.
SPEAKER_01: I have three kids.
SPEAKER_01: My oldest is 24, 23, and 20.
SPEAKER_01: But when they were little, we used to make regular pilgrimages to the shrine of the golden arches.
SPEAKER_01: You guys know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_01: We did that, of course, before they, in health class in junior high, they showed them this supersize me movie, and now they'll never go back.
SPEAKER_01: But they all when they when they were little and we'd we'd go to McDonald's, they always wanted the same meal.
SPEAKER_01: The truth is they didn't really care about the food that much.
SPEAKER_01: They wanted that little cheap plastic prize that comes in the meal.
SPEAKER_01: Because in this moment of marketing genius, the folks at McDonald's came up with what?
SPEAKER_01: The happy meal, right?
SPEAKER_01: The happy meal.
SPEAKER_01: So when you buy it, you're not just buying McNuggets, fries, and a dinosaur stamp.
SPEAKER_01: You're buying happiness.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: My kids were convinced that there was a vacuum in their souls that only McDonald's could fill.
SPEAKER_01: Now I would try to buy them off from time to time.
SPEAKER_01: We'd go to McDonald's and I'd say, get whatever food you want, and I'll give you a quarter, and we can go to the store, and you can get something much more valuable than you'll find than they give you in this happy meal box.
SPEAKER_01: And then we can all come out ahead.
SPEAKER_01: But that argument always fell on deaf ears, and the chant would begin: We want a happy meal, we want a happy meal.
SPEAKER_01: And all around the restaurant, heads would turn to see who this cheapskate parent was who would deny his children this meal of great joy.
SPEAKER_01: So I bought my kids happy meals.
SPEAKER_01: And they were happy for about a minute and a half.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: You know what the problem with a happy meal is?
SPEAKER_01: The happy wears off.
SPEAKER_01: A child never comes back and says, Dad, remember that happy meal you bought me?
SPEAKER_01: What great joy I found there.
SPEAKER_01: I knew if I could just get that happy meal, I would want for no more.
SPEAKER_01: And that's exactly what happened, thanks to your great wisdom and generosity.
SPEAKER_01: I'm forever in your debt.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: Kids never say that.
SPEAKER_01: Never say that.
SPEAKER_01: Now you think at some point they would eventually realize wait a second, I keep getting these happy meals, but they don't provide lasting happiness.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be a sucker anymore.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna set myself up for disappointment, frustration, and discontentment one more time.
SPEAKER_01: But that never happens either, does it?
SPEAKER_01: We keep buying happy meals, and the happy meals keep not working.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, the only person happy about happy meals is McDonald's.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: Do you ever wonder why Ronald has that stupid grin on his face?
SPEAKER_01: 20 million happy meals.
SPEAKER_01: And he's their junkie, right?
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, only a child would be so foolish.
SPEAKER_01: Only a kid would be so naive as to think that contentment is acquired through some sort of external acquisition, right?
SPEAKER_01: Only kids think that way.
SPEAKER_01: See, the truth about human beings is when we grow up, we don't really get much smarter.
SPEAKER_01: What happens is our happy meals just get a lot more expensive.
SPEAKER_01: Which brings us to the last of these Ten Commandments, where God says, if you live this way, you'll actually flourish.
SPEAKER_01: So let's together one more time read these Ten Commandments, beginning in Exodus chapter 20, and we'll and we'll go all the way through verse 17.
SPEAKER_01: Exodus 17, verse 1.
SPEAKER_01: And God spoke all these words, saying, I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
SPEAKER_01: You shall have no other gods before me.
SPEAKER_01: You shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the sea.
SPEAKER_01: You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I am the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 7.
SPEAKER_01: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.
SPEAKER_01: Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.
SPEAKER_01: Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.
SPEAKER_01: On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner within your gates.
SPEAKER_01: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day.
SPEAKER_01: Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
SPEAKER_01: Verse twelve Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God has given you.
SPEAKER_01: Then you shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
SPEAKER_01: And then verse 17 You shall not covet your neighbor's house, you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.
SPEAKER_01: You shall not covet your neighbor's house.
SPEAKER_01: You shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his manservant or maidservant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
SPEAKER_01: Anything.
SPEAKER_01: See, this tenth commandment gets at our deepest desires.
SPEAKER_01: And this is really important for us to pay attention to because my desires seed who I become.
SPEAKER_01: My desires are what lead me to where I want to go.
SPEAKER_01: And the key word in this command that unearths our motivations and our desires is the word covet.
SPEAKER_01: Now, the Hebrew word for covet means an intense desire that kicks you into action.
SPEAKER_01: So, in other words, it's not just a healthy appreciation for nice things.
SPEAKER_01: It's not just I can appreciate something beautiful or excellent.
SPEAKER_01: It's this I've gotta have it kind of force.
SPEAKER_01: That's what coveting is.
SPEAKER_01: It's this force that can consume us.
SPEAKER_01: It's a compulsion to possess something or someone.
SPEAKER_01: And it's never satisfied.
SPEAKER_01: Never satisfied.
SPEAKER_01: It always leads to discontentment.
SPEAKER_01: And you and I know this because this has become the default for our culture.
SPEAKER_01: All day long, you and I are bombarded by two messages.
SPEAKER_01: The first one is you are discontented, or you should be.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: And the second message is contentment is only one happy meal away.
SPEAKER_01: From every angle we hear and see every day.
SPEAKER_01: Use me, buy me, try me, eat me, wear me, drive me, download me, stream me, tweet me, put me in your hair, and then you'll be a happy, contented person.
SPEAKER_01: Am I right?
SPEAKER_01: That's what Madison Avenue is all about.
SPEAKER_01: People are healthier, cleaner, richer, smarter, they have greater access to the world than they ever dreamed.
SPEAKER_01: We eat better, we live longer, we dress cooler, we work less, we play more than ever before.
SPEAKER_01: But are we happier?
SPEAKER_01: Have we become more content?
SPEAKER_01: Or are we just cleaner, healthier, better dressed, better informed, sad, stressed out people?
SPEAKER_01: Now, my guess is there is a fair amount of discontentment in this room.
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna do a little quick survey in a second, kind of a mass confession.
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna ask you to raise your hand if in the past six months you've experienced any level of discontentment.
SPEAKER_01: So hold on, I'm gonna help you kind of figure out what that means.
SPEAKER_01: So a way to measure our discontentment is how much we complain.
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
SPEAKER_01: Now you may have complained out loud to another person, you may have just complained internally in your mind, but if in the last six months you've complained about your physical appearance, your education, your athletic ability, or lack thereof, about finances, about how busy you are, about your spouse, or lack thereof, about your kids or lack thereof.
SPEAKER_01: If you've complained about your health, your age, your boss, the weather, the construction, the inaccessibility of good Chicago style pizza down here, if you complain about anything over the past six months, would you just raise your hand real quickly?
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm talking to the right crowd.
SPEAKER_01: You guys are a bunch of malcontents.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: And I'm right there with you.
SPEAKER_01: See, there's no arguing.
SPEAKER_01: We live in a culture that is designed to feed our discontentment.
SPEAKER_01: So the question we want to wrestle with today is what do we do about that?
SPEAKER_01: What do we do to counter our pre-programmed, it seems, desire to covet whatever we don't have?
SPEAKER_01: See, if we want to flourish, something has got to change.
SPEAKER_01: And as with each of the Ten Commandments, we don't change simply by gritting our teeth and trying harder, do we?
SPEAKER_01: We change by cooperating with the Holy Spirit as He works in us from the inside out to change our desires, to change our orientation, and to change our focus.
SPEAKER_01: See, what we need is a better alternative to which we can say yes.
SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, but simply trying to say no to something does not guarantee I'm gonna keep saying no to it.
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever experienced this?
SPEAKER_01: In fact, if my focus is on what I need to be saying no to, often just the opposite happens.
SPEAKER_01: It's like putting me in charge of watching the freshly baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies my wife made because someone asked for a couple dozen cookies for some kind of party or shower or something like that.
SPEAKER_01: And she says, Rick, these are nice, I know these are your favorite, but will you just stand here and watch these and make sure no one else touches them, but you can't have any either.
SPEAKER_01: Now I'll be good for a while, and I'll keep reminding myself, Rick, no, these are not for you.
SPEAKER_01: These are not for you.
SPEAKER_01: But when she gets back a couple hours later, she's gonna be about six short of two dozen.
SPEAKER_01: I just don't have that kind of willpower, not for oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies.
SPEAKER_01: See, we cannot flourish by simply focusing on the no.
SPEAKER_01: There has to be a better yes for us to say yes to.
SPEAKER_01: We can't just focus by saying no to coveting.
SPEAKER_01: We gotta say yes to something in its place.
SPEAKER_01: We can't flourish by saying no to cookies or something where the stakes are even much higher.
SPEAKER_01: This is why Paul tells us we need to put off the old and then put on the new.
SPEAKER_01: We flourish as we say yes to the life for which God created us.
SPEAKER_01: And each of these commands has a very big yes that is actually a doorway into the life of flourishing.
SPEAKER_01: So with the tenth commandment, the no is what?
SPEAKER_01: Coveting.
SPEAKER_01: The yes is contentment.
SPEAKER_01: The no is coveting, the yes is contentment.
SPEAKER_01: So I want to talk this morning about contentment and how we can become more contented people with the Spirit's help.
SPEAKER_01: Now, conventional wisdom says that contentment comes from satisfying our desires, right?
SPEAKER_01: If only the right circumstances, if only the right circumstances would fall into place, if I just had the right amount of cash or the right home or the stuff or the job that I really wanted, then I'd finally be content.
SPEAKER_01: Or I'm in a season right now that's just too demanding, it's too stressful.
SPEAKER_01: So contentment's just not possible for me right now.
SPEAKER_01: But someday, right?
SPEAKER_01: Someday next year or next decade or in another season of life, then it will be possible for me to be content.
SPEAKER_01: Or I just don't have the right relationships right now.
SPEAKER_01: There's too many difficult people in my life.
SPEAKER_01: But if the right people would finally come along, or if the people in my life would just actually change, or sometimes better yet, disappear, then I'd be content.
SPEAKER_01: Then life would be smooth and easy for me.
SPEAKER_01: Now, aside from the fact that wherever you go, you have to take you with you, which by the way is the main reason you're discontented, is because you are involved in the equation all the time.
SPEAKER_01: Our reality is that when one if goes, another if quickly takes its place.
SPEAKER_01: There's no place, there's no set of circumstances, there's no man, woman, or child that can bring you or me lasting contentment.
SPEAKER_01: No matter how many movies say the opposite.
SPEAKER_01: See, the trouble with pursuit of happy meals is the happy always wears off.
SPEAKER_01: So let's define true contentment and then explore how the Bible says we can actually experience contentment.
SPEAKER_01: And I want to define contentment by starting with a question, okay?
SPEAKER_01: So here's a question: Who is more content?
SPEAKER_01: The person with seven million dollars or the person with seven children?
SPEAKER_01: More content.
SPEAKER_01: Seven million dollars or seven children?
SPEAKER_01: Now the answer is quite obvious.
SPEAKER_01: It's the person with seven children because he doesn't want anymore.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't want anymore.
SPEAKER_01: See, contentment is not being driven by wanting more.
SPEAKER_01: Not being driven by wanting more.
SPEAKER_01: And when we are no longer driven by wanting more, we experience an inner freedom, especially freedom from dissatisfaction, from out-of-balance appetites, and from unfulfilled desires.
SPEAKER_01: It's this freedom from this covetous itch that says, I've got to have blank.
SPEAKER_01: See, contentment allows me to fully live in the moment.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't have to put my life on hold until I finally get something, or until I finally get someone.
SPEAKER_01: Contentment puts me in a position where I can actually flourish as God says I can.
SPEAKER_01: So let me give you a picture of what contentment might feel like.
SPEAKER_01: I remember, this is I'm dating myself, but several decades back, probably, there was this commercial for nest tea.
SPEAKER_01: Remember how this went?
SPEAKER_01: There was this real hot, sweaty guy standing by the side of the pool, and someone hands him a glass of nest tea, and he takes a drink, and as he does, he's filled with such great satisfaction, he falls back into the pool and says, What?
unknown: Ah.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: That's the picture of contentment where this no matter what the circumstances are, we have this sense of, ah, this is good.
SPEAKER_01: This is good.
SPEAKER_01: So I want to help us kind of get this into our souls today.
SPEAKER_01: So I want you to say that with me out loud.
SPEAKER_01: I know it's early and you weren't planning on participating, especially ladies who are at a retreat all weekend, you're already done, but that's okay.
SPEAKER_01: So let's just say this ah together.
SPEAKER_01: Ready?
SPEAKER_01: One, two, three, ah.
SPEAKER_01: That was kind of okay.
SPEAKER_01: Say it again.
SPEAKER_01: One, two, three, ah.
SPEAKER_01: I want that to kind of be seared in your mind.
SPEAKER_01: This is what God's going for.
SPEAKER_01: That no matter what's going on in our circumstances, if we're to be people who flourish, He wants us to be able to genuinely say, no matter what's happening, ah.
SPEAKER_01: See, when you leave here and go eat wherever you, think about it this way, instead of complaining about the service or the selection or that you've gone home and you have to eat leftovers again, or the amount of calories that you just consumed, which you might be very likely to do because we are discontented people and that's what we do, instead, just simply say, Ah, thank you, God, that I have food.
SPEAKER_01: Or when you get in your car and your fellow travelers travelers are cluelessly driving 30 in a 60.
SPEAKER_01: Have you noticed that happens around here a lot?
SPEAKER_01: Or on the other end, they're driving like Mario Andretti, 90 in a 60, kind of bobbing and weaving anyway, everywhere, and you're tempted to let them know that you think they're number one.
SPEAKER_01: Or you want to kind of maneuver up three spaces so you can get in the right turn lane to get on the grand parkway.
SPEAKER_01: Instead, just take a deep breath.
SPEAKER_01: Ask God for his thoughts about your fellow drivers.
SPEAKER_01: Thank him for this beautiful day, and go and see what begins to change inside of you.
SPEAKER_01: See, we can learn to be content.
SPEAKER_01: Paul wrote these words from a prison cell in Philippians chapter 4.
SPEAKER_01: If you have your Bibles, turn there.
SPEAKER_01: Philippians 4 verse 11.
SPEAKER_01: Paul says, I'm not saying this because I'm in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
SPEAKER_01: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
SPEAKER_01: I've learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
SPEAKER_01: I've learned to be content.
SPEAKER_01: Now it's really important that we understand what Paul's saying here, because there are some things that he did not mean that we sometimes confuse with contentment.
SPEAKER_01: Paul did not mean that he learned to accept the status quo.
SPEAKER_01: So Paul's not talking about being complacent.
SPEAKER_01: For instance, Martin Luther King Jr.
SPEAKER_01: was not called to be content about segregation and racial injustice.
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't, well, whatever will be will be.
SPEAKER_01: That's just the way it is.
SPEAKER_01: Nope, that's not it.
SPEAKER_01: The call to contentment is not a call to focus on my comfort, regardless of poverty or injustice or evil in the world.
SPEAKER_01: The call to contentment is not a call to apathy or resignation.
SPEAKER_01: There are times when people who are content, as the Bible refers to contentment, will experience deep grief and sadness and frustration and anger that move them to righteous action.
SPEAKER_01: So contentment is not about just sitting around and doing nothing.
SPEAKER_01: When Paul uses contentment, he means confidence.
SPEAKER_01: Contentment is the confidence that I can face any situation with Christ who gives me strength.
SPEAKER_01: Let me say that again.
SPEAKER_01: Contentment is the confidence that I can face any situation with Christ who gives me strength.
SPEAKER_01: That's what Paul says in verse 13 in this chapter.
SPEAKER_01: So Paul says, I've learned the secret of being content and facing situations where I have a lot.
SPEAKER_01: And Paul did have a lot.
SPEAKER_01: He was a Pharisee of the Pharisees.
SPEAKER_01: He was at the top of the food chain.
SPEAKER_01: And trust me, some of you know this, there are great temptations to discontentment where you have a lot.
SPEAKER_01: Nelson Rockefeller Sr.
SPEAKER_01: once was asked at the time when he was the richest man in the world, how much is enough?
SPEAKER_01: And his answer was quite simply, just a little more.
SPEAKER_01: Great temptation.
SPEAKER_01: Even if you have everything that your heart would desire, it's never satisfying.
SPEAKER_01: And conversely, Paul says, I've learned to be content when I've had very little.
SPEAKER_01: And there are a lot of temptations for discontentment in those situations, obviously, right?
SPEAKER_01: The church where I served before we moved here, we had a food pantry that we served about a thousand people a month, and they would come through, and it was really cool because we didn't just give them food, we let them shop and we got to know them, and they became part of our family at the church.
SPEAKER_01: But inevitably, people would get comfortable with us.
SPEAKER_01: The first couple times they'd be so grateful, and then they'd start getting really picky.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: They become like, now you don't do this right.
SPEAKER_01: No, you should have this.
SPEAKER_01: No, I want more of that.
SPEAKER_01: Why can't you change the rules for, you know, all that kind of stuff, right?
SPEAKER_01: And we all can do that.
SPEAKER_01: Paul says, I learned that I can face any situation, this is the key, with Jesus who gives me strength.
SPEAKER_01: Not alone, but with Jesus who gives me strength.
SPEAKER_01: See, Paul says, contentment is a learned skill acquired over time through practice, much in the same way people learn to play the piano or learn to shoot free throws.
SPEAKER_01: Contentment does not depend on my circumstances.
SPEAKER_01: Contentment is an inside job that I need to learn through practice.
SPEAKER_01: I've learned to be content, Paul says.
SPEAKER_01: So I want to talk real quickly about a few ways we can learn to be content.
SPEAKER_01: And as we learn to be content, we by default say no to coveting.
SPEAKER_01: The first one is this we relentlessly establish realistic expectations.
SPEAKER_01: Relentlessly establish realistic expectations.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we prop up in our minds what we think the payoff is going to be in this relationship or this experience or this trip or this night out or this move or this new job or whatever.
SPEAKER_01: And what we do is we're just setting ourselves up for major discontentment.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, how many vacations or holidays or big events?
SPEAKER_01: Or even churches.
SPEAKER_01: Have you built up in your mind only to show up to that thing and go, like, this wasn't what I thought it was going to be?
SPEAKER_01: See, unrealistic expectations run rampant.
SPEAKER_01: Um, I've done lots and lots of marriage counseling over the last 30 years.
SPEAKER_01: Um my wife knows when I've had a rough one because I usually bring home flowers and I said, Thank you for not being the people I just met with, right?
SPEAKER_01: But a common thread in just about every couple that's struggling that I meet with is they have um unrealistic expectations about how their relationship should work.
SPEAKER_01: So one of the practices that I ask just about every couple I meet with is to create this running tally of what I call their unspoken Ten Commandments.
SPEAKER_01: And these are simply the rules that you grew up kind of expecting to be normal that aren't really normal because the person you married doesn't do them.
SPEAKER_01: And usually you don't even know it's a rule until they broke it.
SPEAKER_01: So it can be really silly things, like for us, it was something like hey, when you change the toilet paper, it needs to go over the top, not under the bottom.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: Or you squeeze the toothpaste at the end and roll it, you don't do it in the middle.
SPEAKER_01: Or back this again, dating myself, um, leaving one ice cube in the ice tray does not constitute ice in the freezer.
SPEAKER_01: You know, these are the kinds of things that we would fight about.
SPEAKER_01: And so you just kind of go, that's kind of a.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, who says that's one way is the right way, the other's the not?
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_01: What is is that I just expected her to do things the way I do things.
SPEAKER_01: And she didn't, and it ticked me off.
SPEAKER_01: And we fought.
SPEAKER_01: But it can get more serious than that, right?
SPEAKER_01: It can get to how you how you air your dirty laundry in public.
SPEAKER_01: I grew up in a very open, kind of messy family.
SPEAKER_01: So I would be the one that would go to a small group the first year we were married and say, Yeah, Michelle and I, we were just fighting about this and this and this, and that, and I would get this cold, icy stare from across the circle.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what?
SPEAKER_01: And then later I'd find out, no, we don't talk about our stuff in front of other people.
SPEAKER_01: Because that's the family she grew up in.
SPEAKER_01: That was an unspoken rule.
SPEAKER_01: Now we've met somewhere in the middle now, but that's the idea.
SPEAKER_01: Often most fights in marriage or with couples start because one has this expectation of how things should be, the other one isn't aware of that expectation, and they fail to meet it.
SPEAKER_01: Instead of actually talking about it and naming that, we just fight each other, fight, have fight about it, and we resent one another for not getting me.
SPEAKER_01: You see how this works?
SPEAKER_01: We have to surface our unspoken expectations, otherwise, they will torpedo our relationships.
SPEAKER_01: Because way too many of us buy into too many Jerry Maguire or Nicholas Sparks lines.
SPEAKER_01: Here's a little formula that can help us learn contentment.
SPEAKER_01: Contentment equals reality minus expectations.
SPEAKER_01: So say you're gonna go visit your family, which Clyde is going to do right after this service, after church today.
SPEAKER_01: He's heading to go visit his family in Georgia.
SPEAKER_01: So this is for you, Clyde.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not, I don't know your family, so forgive what I'm about to say.
SPEAKER_01: So say your family has a history of deep-rooted conflict.
SPEAKER_01: That's what I was like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01: And you think, you know what, it's been a while since we've gotten together, but this time it's gonna be completely different.
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna go from being the Goldbergs, you know who they are, right?
SPEAKER_01: To the Gaineses.
SPEAKER_01: Ready for your fixer upper, all in one fail swoop.
SPEAKER_01: And all you're doing is setting yourself up for discontentment.
SPEAKER_01: Because if reality is about a four, but your expectation is a ten, your contentment factor will be what?
SPEAKER_01: Do the math.
SPEAKER_01: Minus six.
SPEAKER_01: We have to set our expectations in the ballpark of reality.
SPEAKER_01: This is simply a part of living wisely.
SPEAKER_01: Now, this is not to say that we just resign ourselves to a well, I guess this is just as good as it's gonna get kind of attitude.
SPEAKER_01: We will never flourish as passive victims.
SPEAKER_01: But we must live where we actually are.
SPEAKER_01: That's reality.
SPEAKER_01: And can I tell you a secret?
SPEAKER_01: The truth is, God will only meet you where you actually are.
SPEAKER_01: God's not saying, you know what, Rick, when you finally get your act together, I'm gonna meet with you.
SPEAKER_01: Or when you finally fix this thing that you messed up, I'm gonna meet with you.
SPEAKER_01: Or when you finally get all your ducks, when you do this, then I'll meet with you at this point in the future.
SPEAKER_01: God is like, no, I want to meet with you right here, right now, right where you are, as messy as you are, and I need you to be honest and own it.
SPEAKER_01: That's where God wants to meet you in reality.
SPEAKER_01: So to learn contentment, we begin by ruthlessly setting realistic expectations.
SPEAKER_01: Then, secondly, we learn to cultivate gratitude.
SPEAKER_01: People who learn contentment cultivate gratitude.
SPEAKER_01: So I I must redirect my focus from what I have, what I don't have, to what I have, right?
SPEAKER_01: Redirect my focus from what I don't have to what I have.
SPEAKER_01: Now, to help me do that, I actually cultivate gratitude for what I have.
SPEAKER_01: Paul tells us in Ephesians 5, verse 20, give thanks to the God, to God the Father at all times for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01: Now, actually, I do have a degree in biblical languages, so I looked up the Greek for this, and what Paul literally says when he says, at all times and for everything, is at all times and for everything.
SPEAKER_01: There is literally no wiggle room in the language here.
SPEAKER_01: That means we cultivate gratitude for everything in our lives, even those things that are not perfect and don't meet our expectations.
SPEAKER_01: The people and the experiences we counter day to day will never be perfect.
SPEAKER_01: Have you noticed that?
SPEAKER_01: And if we wait for them to be perfect before we practice gratitude, we will never practice gratitude.
SPEAKER_01: We must learn to celebrate imperfect gifts and to cultivate wonder and thankfulness for these imperfect gifts and trust that God is using them in our lives to form us to be more like Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: Now, some of you are married and you have to accept the fact that you're married to an imperfect person, am I right?
SPEAKER_01: So you need to tell your husband or wife today at some point, I'm grateful I'm married to you, and here's why.
SPEAKER_01: Focus on the good part of it.
SPEAKER_01: Here's why.
SPEAKER_01: Some of you are not married, and there's someone in this room that you need to go to after the service and say, I'm grateful I'm not married to you, and here's why.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: Some of you are deeply discontented about family or friends or spouse or kids or people that just don't measure up to your expectations.
SPEAKER_01: They're not smart enough or cool enough or attractive enough or healthy enough or nice enough or considerate enough.
SPEAKER_01: And they may very well fall short in those ways, but there is something that they contribute to you that you would not have otherwise.
SPEAKER_01: So, in the midst of your struggle with that person, I want to challenge you to look for the gift.
SPEAKER_01: Look for the gift.
SPEAKER_01: Because life can be hard, life can be painful, but it's also good because God is with us.
SPEAKER_01: Jesus, Emmanuel, is with us.
SPEAKER_01: That can turn anything bad into something good.
SPEAKER_01: So a friend of mine tweeted this on Friday, his name's Mark, and I was just thankful that he said this.
SPEAKER_01: It's a practice I've been doing ever since on Friday, and it's really been helpful to kind of cultivate gratitude.
SPEAKER_01: He said, This will be expected, he said, just make a practice every day of thanking God for who I am, what he's given me, and what I'm able to do.
SPEAKER_01: And then he said, and then follow that with, and God, you didn't have to.
SPEAKER_01: Thank God for who I am, what I have, what I'm able to do, and then say, God, and you didn't have to.
SPEAKER_01: He didn't have to.
SPEAKER_01: God doesn't owe you anything, he doesn't owe me anything.
SPEAKER_01: In fact, he owns us.
SPEAKER_01: He bought us with a price.
SPEAKER_01: That's what Jesus did on the cross, is he purchased us with his blood, and he really owes us nothing, but he's so full of grace and mercy that he lavishes his love and his grace on us anyway.
SPEAKER_01: God, thank you for who I am, what I have, what I'm able to do.
SPEAKER_01: Because you didn't have to.
SPEAKER_01: You didn't have to.
SPEAKER_01: People who learn contentment cultivate gratitude.
SPEAKER_01: And then finally, stake your life on that which can satisfy your soul.
SPEAKER_01: Stake your life on that which can satisfy your soul.
SPEAKER_01: Don't blow your one and only life chasing happy meals that cannot make you happy.
SPEAKER_01: Jesus put it like this.
SPEAKER_01: This is my favorite verse, my favorite words of Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: He said, Therefore do not be anxious, saying, What shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or what shall we wear?
SPEAKER_01: For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
SPEAKER_01: But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
SPEAKER_01: Another translation says, make the kingdom of God your primary concern.
SPEAKER_01: Make the kingdom of God your primary concern.
SPEAKER_01: See, contentment cannot be acquired directly.
SPEAKER_01: You can't buy it.
SPEAKER_01: Contentment is a byproduct of living Jesus' way, living life with Jesus on Jesus' terms.
SPEAKER_01: Truly content people are those whose ultimate aim in life is something much greater than contentment.
SPEAKER_01: It's much greater than the pursuit of happiness, no matter what our declaration or constitution says.
SPEAKER_01: That's not all there is.
SPEAKER_01: The aim in life is to live life with Jesus, oriented around his kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: And some of you here this morning, you have what feels like a black hole in your life.
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're single and you long for a partner to share life with.
SPEAKER_01: And seeing couples walk hand in hand triggers an ache inside of you, and you wonder, God, why don't you give me what I want so much?
SPEAKER_01: Some of you more than anything want a child.
SPEAKER_01: And it seems like every place you go, there are baby strollers and pregnant women and thousands of reminders of what you do not have.
SPEAKER_01: Some of you here are physically challenged, and you live in a world where physical perfection is highly valued.
SPEAKER_01: Some are in chronic pain, some have suffered deep disappointment that is beyond your ability to control.
SPEAKER_01: Some of you are here, and your reality is there's always more month than paycheck for you.
SPEAKER_01: All of us need to hear this this morning, starting with me.
SPEAKER_01: Paul does not speak about contentment lightly, he's not being glib here.
SPEAKER_01: Paul is not one of those guys who just hydroplanes through life and never has to deal with anything difficult.
SPEAKER_01: When Paul, Paul knows what he's talking about.
SPEAKER_01: Paul has been hungry, he's been alone, he's been stoned, he's been whipped and beaten with rods, he's been mocked, lied about, ridiculed, undermined, and as he writes these words in Philippians 4, he's writing them from a prison cell as he faces imminent death.
SPEAKER_01: So how is Paul able to say that he's content?
SPEAKER_01: It's because his aim in life is something bigger than the pursuit of happiness.
SPEAKER_01: It's something bigger than a happy meal.
SPEAKER_01: His aim is not comfort and convenience.
SPEAKER_01: Paul's aim is to know Jesus and Jesus' kind of life.
SPEAKER_01: And that's an eternal kind of life that doesn't end when we die.
SPEAKER_01: Paul discovered the one thing that can truly satisfy the human soul.
SPEAKER_01: Whether he has a lot or a little, whether his circumstances are easy or hard, that is irrelevant to Paul.
SPEAKER_01: His life is not about what he does or does not possess or what he does or does not achieve.
SPEAKER_01: His attention is fastened elsewhere.
SPEAKER_01: He's learned to say yes to the life of flourishing God has for him by fixing his eyes on Jesus, the author and the perfecter of his faith.
SPEAKER_01: See, what you and I covet cannot be satisfied by any circumstance, by any person, by any job, by any possession, by any title, by any bank balance.
SPEAKER_01: It can't.
SPEAKER_01: Because we are eternal beings created to live forever with God.
SPEAKER_01: We're created to know the love and the joy of living in the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_01: And no prize, no matter the size, can ever do that for us.
SPEAKER_01: So stake your life on that which can satisfy your soul.
SPEAKER_01: Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.
SPEAKER_01: And then all these things will be added to you.
SPEAKER_01: Make the kingdom your primary concern.
SPEAKER_01: And not only will you learn to be content, you'll flourish.
SPEAKER_01: You'll flourish.
SPEAKER_01: Receive the blessing this morning.
SPEAKER_01: May the Lord bless you and keep you.
SPEAKER_01: May He make His face to shine upon you.
SPEAKER_01: And may you know the peace and satisfaction that comes from orienting your life around the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_01: May Jesus and His kingdom capture your heart and your mind like never before.
SPEAKER_01: And may in him you find total satisfaction.
SPEAKER_01: I pray in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Have an awesome week.