SPEAKER_00: This podcast is a ministry of Grand Parkway Baptist Church, helping people know, enjoy, and glorify God.
SPEAKER_00: For more information about Grand Parkway, visit GrandProquay.org.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: Lord, we're free.
SPEAKER_02: And because we're free, Lord, we don't want to get we don't want people to put us under any any kind of bondage, especially religious bondage.
SPEAKER_02: A bunch of rules and regulations.
SPEAKER_02: We're not here today to get more rules to feel bad about because we can't keep them.
SPEAKER_02: We're here to become freer men and women and freer students and freer uh 12-year-olds.
SPEAKER_02: We're here to be free, God, from all the nonsense that our culture seeks to put on us.
SPEAKER_02: And so, Lord, you said to your disciples that you said you're clean because of the word that has spoken to you.
SPEAKER_02: Speak a word to us today, Lord, that washes all off of us, all of the unnecessary stuff that binds us up.
SPEAKER_02: We want to be who the Bible says we are.
SPEAKER_02: The Bible tells us we're free.
SPEAKER_02: So teach us this morning, Holy Spirit, how to be more free people, we ask in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_02: And everyone said, Amen.
SPEAKER_02: You can have a seat.
SPEAKER_02: If you got a Bible, I ask you to take it and open up to 2 Samuel chapter 16.
SPEAKER_02: 2 Samuel chapter 16.
SPEAKER_02: If you don't have a Bible as well on your row, I'm on page 268.
SPEAKER_02: Page 268.
SPEAKER_02: And if you're a guest today, let me say thanks for being a part of our service.
SPEAKER_02: We're in a series right now that we're calling better.
SPEAKER_02: Better.
SPEAKER_02: And what is better?
SPEAKER_02: Better is we're just looking at different things we want to get better at.
SPEAKER_02: Like we want to get better at parenting.
SPEAKER_02: We talked about that a couple Sundays.
SPEAKER_02: Today I want to talk to you about something that I don't think we talk about enough in the church.
SPEAKER_02: I want to talk about getting better at criticism, not giving criticism, but receiving criticism.
SPEAKER_02: Amen?
SPEAKER_02: Because everyone in this room, whether you realize it or not, you have a theology of criticism.
SPEAKER_02: You have a thing that you believe.
SPEAKER_02: Like when someone criticizes you, you have different responses.
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes your heart starts beating fast and your stomach gets kind of yucky.
SPEAKER_02: And some of you kind of just sit there chewing your fingernails, like, just keep talking.
SPEAKER_02: Because when you're done, I'm going to unload on you, girlfriend.
SPEAKER_02: You hear that?
SPEAKER_02: Beep, beep, beep.
SPEAKER_02: That's not the fire alarm.
SPEAKER_02: That is the dump truck backing up and it's about to unload on you.
SPEAKER_02: So say all you need to say.
SPEAKER_02: Because I've been praying for this day, and it has finally come.
SPEAKER_02: Thank Lord.
SPEAKER_02: Some of you are not like you just sit there.
SPEAKER_02: Some of you are overly noble when you get criticized.
SPEAKER_02: You're like, you talk all breath, oh, thank you for pointing that out.
SPEAKER_02: You know, I want to be more like Jesus, and you're helping me.
SPEAKER_02: You don't believe a word of that.
SPEAKER_02: You learned that in Sunday school, and you've told that lie every time since then.
SPEAKER_02: But today the Bible's gonna find us out, okay?
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna read the Bible, you're gonna read this story in 2 Samuel 16, and you're gonna see how practical the Bible is.
SPEAKER_02: 2 Samuel chapter 16, I'll start reading verse 5.
SPEAKER_02: It says this, when King David came to Bahurim, there came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shemaiah, the son of Gerah, and he came and he cursed continually.
SPEAKER_02: Some of you work with people like that, amen?
SPEAKER_02: I know I do.
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, verse 6, and he threw stones at David.
SPEAKER_02: He threw stones at David, and all the servants of King David and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right and on his left.
SPEAKER_02: And Shemiah said, as he cursed, Get out, get out, you you man of blood, you worthless man, the Lord has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the Lord has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom.
SPEAKER_02: See, your evil is on you, for you're a man of blood.
SPEAKER_02: Then Abishai the son of Zariah said to the king, Why should this dead dog curse my Lord the king?
SPEAKER_02: Let me go over and take off his head.
SPEAKER_02: But the king said, What have I to do with you, you sons of Zariah?
SPEAKER_02: If he is cursing because the Lord has said to him, Curse David, who then shall say, Why have you done so?
SPEAKER_02: And David said to Abishai and all his servants, Behold, my own son seeks my life.
SPEAKER_02: How much more now may this Benjamite leave him alone, and let him curse?
SPEAKER_02: For the Lord has told him to.
SPEAKER_02: So David and his men went on the road while Shema went along on the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went and threw stones at him and flung dust.
SPEAKER_02: And the king and all the people who were with him arrived weary at the Jordan, and there he refreshed himself.
SPEAKER_02: Now I want you to get this picture, okay?
SPEAKER_02: I watched boxing last night.
SPEAKER_02: I don't know why I like boxing.
SPEAKER_02: I just think I like the physicality of it.
SPEAKER_02: And so I watched boxing, and they come out and they always got an entourage.
SPEAKER_02: The guy last night walked out, and he had one of his friends walking beside him, singing some kind of a hip-hop version of I Did It My Way, Frank Sinatra.
SPEAKER_02: Frank's, if you heard rumbling, it was Frank Sinatra rolling in his grave last night, okay?
SPEAKER_02: But they had, and they've got a guy holding up the championship belt, and is this entourage?
SPEAKER_02: I mean, like six or eight guys.
SPEAKER_02: And I was scoffing at that because when David traveled, the Bible says that David and his mighty men, and different times it was different numbers, but it was as many as 30 to 80 to 120 men, mighty valiant warriors who travel with David.
SPEAKER_02: Now that is an entourage.
SPEAKER_02: That's how you show up, okay?
SPEAKER_02: And not only did you have his entourage, they were fiercely loyal to David.
SPEAKER_02: And so this is what's happening.
SPEAKER_02: David's walking down the road.
SPEAKER_02: David's the king, okay?
SPEAKER_02: He's not like some peon who's buried down in the mail room at your work.
SPEAKER_02: He's the king.
SPEAKER_02: And there's a guy on this little ridgeline, this little mountaintop here, uh, walking along, and he's cursing.
SPEAKER_02: Now, when the Bible says cursing, it's not profanity.
SPEAKER_02: In this case, it's he's wishing ill upon David.
SPEAKER_02: He's saying, hey, may God smite you and take away your kingdom.
SPEAKER_02: He's disrespecting the king and he's throwing rocks.
SPEAKER_02: How long has it been since you threw rocks?
SPEAKER_02: I don't care what, I don't care how religious you are, there is something cathartic about throwing rocks.
SPEAKER_02: And I don't mean at people.
SPEAKER_02: I mean you should just go out when the rain stops.
SPEAKER_02: By the way, it's raining right now, which is God's way of saying, after church, take a nap.
SPEAKER_02: That's in the that's in another place in the Old Testament.
SPEAKER_02: That'd be next Sunday's sermon.
SPEAKER_02: Uh y'all are like, oh, I preach that sermon every Sunday.
SPEAKER_02: Uh no, no, so he's he's cursing, he's throwing rocks, and he's throwing up dust.
SPEAKER_02: Why is he throwing up dust?
SPEAKER_02: It was a sign of mourning.
SPEAKER_02: This guy is so mad and he's so sad and he's just so upset.
SPEAKER_02: He's like, ah! And you'll see how practical the Bible is in just a minute when I tell you why he's doing all this.
SPEAKER_02: But what do you mean, get better at criticism?
SPEAKER_02: You can get better at receiving criticism because David, one of David's men, says, Hey, why should this dead dog talk to the king that way?
SPEAKER_02: You want me to go cut his head off?
SPEAKER_02: This is where you thank God you don't have mighty men and women that travel with you.
SPEAKER_02: You say, Well, why not?
SPEAKER_02: Wouldn't you like to have people you could just say, yeah, go cut his head off?
SPEAKER_02: I fantasize sometimes when I pull up to a red light that I had a bazooka on the front of my truck and I could blow up the car in front of me.
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
SPEAKER_02: Pray for me.
SPEAKER_02: That's not good.
SPEAKER_02: Because when the light turns green and they sit there, I mean, not for like a second, like for eight seconds looking at their phone, I think my head's gonna explode.
SPEAKER_02: And so if I had that kind of power, it wouldn't be good.
SPEAKER_02: I'd be in prison right now.
SPEAKER_02: They would get up next week and go, where's the pastor?
SPEAKER_02: Well, our pastor is imprisoned.
SPEAKER_02: He's starting to print his ministry because the world's full of people don't pay attention.
SPEAKER_02: But I digress.
SPEAKER_02: David's walking down the road, and by the way, it's not a one-off, somebody didn't post something on Facebook about him or anything.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody didn't go and yelp and give him a bad review of his business.
SPEAKER_02: This guy walks along the ridgeline above him all the way, cursing and throwing rocks and hurtling down insults and kicking up dust.
SPEAKER_02: And David says, the guy says, You're gonna cut his head off.
SPEAKER_02: David says, I he may be sent from God.
SPEAKER_02: Let's just listen.
SPEAKER_02: And so all the way, can you imagine every day getting up and somebody just grinding you down verbally?
SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
SPEAKER_02: Now, if you're 15 right now, it's really tempting to kind of check out and kind of go, uh, I wish my parents said make me come today.
SPEAKER_01: It's raining.
SPEAKER_01: I could be on Instagram.
SPEAKER_02: If you could get this in your head at 15, you would be the most fascinating 15-year-old anybody at your school knows.
SPEAKER_02: And I'll show you why in just a minute.
SPEAKER_02: Five things about criticism, getting better at criticism.
SPEAKER_02: Number one, criticism is a universal experience.
SPEAKER_02: It's a universal experience.
SPEAKER_02: Uh back in 1999, a guy named Alfred Poiere, he wrote uh in the Journal of Biblical Counseling, he wrote an article called The Cross and Criticism.
SPEAKER_02: Every Christian should be made to read it.
SPEAKER_02: It's that thought-provoking.
SPEAKER_02: The cross and criticism.
SPEAKER_02: You can Google it.
SPEAKER_02: But in the article, he says this.
SPEAKER_02: He says, criticism is defined as any judgment made about you by another which declares that you fall short of a particular standard.
SPEAKER_02: Let me say that again.
SPEAKER_02: It's any judgment made about you by another which declares that you fall short of a particular standard.
SPEAKER_02: It may be their standard, it may be God's standard, it may be fair, it may be unfair.
SPEAKER_02: The standard may be known, maybe unknown.
SPEAKER_02: See, my wife has standards, and this is not a bad thing in our home.
SPEAKER_02: Like every once in a while, my wife says to me, I just need you to do more around here.
SPEAKER_02: And the thing that pops into my head was, isn't that your job?
SPEAKER_02: Now I don't say that, but I think it.
SPEAKER_02: Here's the reality.
SPEAKER_02: I know it's not her job, but she's so good at it, I just think she's better than I am at it.
SPEAKER_02: And when she says, do more, it's not like, hey, I need you to clean the kitchen or mop the floors or whatever.
SPEAKER_02: It's crazy stuff like pick your clothes up.
SPEAKER_02: Like, why do you hate me so much?
SPEAKER_02: Everybody has a standard, okay?
SPEAKER_02: And so criticism, that's when I say criticism, that's the definition I work off of.
SPEAKER_02: Why do I say it's a universal experience?
SPEAKER_02: David's the king, and he's getting it.
SPEAKER_02: I mean he is getting it rained down on him in the presence of everybody.
SPEAKER_02: Just a reminder, uh, we're all going to be criticized.
SPEAKER_02: And so, because of that, you need to have what I call a theology of criticism.
SPEAKER_02: A theology of criticism.
SPEAKER_02: What is your theology of criticism?
SPEAKER_02: Said differently.
SPEAKER_02: What do I believe about God and myself that informs the way I respond to criticism?
SPEAKER_02: Because it is a universal experience.
SPEAKER_02: You are going to have this happen to you, and the way you handle it, the way you respond to it, determines the depth of your character as a person, as a believer, as a as a Christian.
SPEAKER_02: And so it's a universal experience.
SPEAKER_02: Secondly, it's oftentimes a veiled attempt at control.
SPEAKER_02: I want you to look at verse 5.
SPEAKER_02: It says, When David came to Baharim, there came out a man of the fa of the family of the house of Saul.
SPEAKER_02: Just just in your Bible or in your notes, just underline of the house of Saul.
SPEAKER_02: Now, what I mean when I say it's a veiled attempt at control.
SPEAKER_02: What I mean is that Israel was set up.
SPEAKER_02: Well, Old Testament lesson.
SPEAKER_02: Who wants an Old Testament lesson this morning?
SPEAKER_02: Say yes.
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
SPEAKER_02: Old Testament lesson.
SPEAKER_02: Israel set up as a theocracy.
SPEAKER_02: A theocracy is where God says, Hey, I will be your God and you'll be my people, okay?
SPEAKER_02: I'll take care of you.
SPEAKER_02: You just obey me.
SPEAKER_02: That's the way God set it up.
SPEAKER_02: Well, Israel gets around these other nations and they look and they go, Hey, they got a king.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, they got a king.
SPEAKER_02: Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02: Shot.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, no, they got a king.
SPEAKER_02: Everyone's got a king.
SPEAKER_02: And so they went to God and they said, Hey, God, we want a king.
SPEAKER_02: We want a king.
SPEAKER_02: It's like your kids go have a spend the night party at their friends' house.
SPEAKER_02: They come back and they go, Did you know they have a swimming pool?
SPEAKER_02: Why do you think I let you spend the night there?
SPEAKER_02: No, and so they just begin to pester God, and the prophets are like, the spokesmen for God are like, You don't need a king, you got God.
SPEAKER_02: They go, No, we want a king.
SPEAKER_02: Finally, God says, You want a king?
SPEAKER_02: I'll give you a king.
SPEAKER_02: They give him a king.
SPEAKER_02: The first king of Israel is a guy named Saul.
SPEAKER_02: Saul was a good guy.
SPEAKER_02: Saul was tall and ruddy and handsome and had a 4.0, and he worked out, and he did the eight-minute beach body workout, and he was fabulous.
SPEAKER_02: And he was cocky and arrogant and he wouldn't submit.
SPEAKER_02: And Saul thought, because I'm king, I can do whatever I want to do.
SPEAKER_02: And so he began to usurp priestly functions, and there was a call for a sacrifice, and Saul didn't want to wait.
SPEAKER_02: And Saul said, I'm the king.
SPEAKER_02: I gotta wait on anybody.
SPEAKER_02: And he he provided the sacrifice himself, and God said, I don't know who you think you are.
SPEAKER_02: You don't get to do that.
SPEAKER_02: That's a priestly function.
SPEAKER_02: So God took the kingdom away from Saul and gave it to David.
SPEAKER_02: Now why do I tell you that?
SPEAKER_02: Because the Bible tells us that this guy, Garah, he was of the family of the house of Saul.
SPEAKER_02: Uh, translation: his presidential candidate did not win the presidency.
SPEAKER_02: And so what did he do?
SPEAKER_02: He's protesting.
SPEAKER_02: Except he didn't have signs or anything.
SPEAKER_02: He was of the house of Saul.
SPEAKER_02: Criticism is oftentimes a veiled attempt at control.
SPEAKER_02: And so a lot of that goes on nowadays in our country.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody needs to tell these people the election was in November.
SPEAKER_02: It's March.
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not, let me be clear.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying I agree with everything the guy's done.
SPEAKER_02: I'm just people like, well, the popular vote.
SPEAKER_02: We have what's called an electoral college.
SPEAKER_02: That's the way.
SPEAKER_02: This guy's just incensed because he was of the house of Saul, and that's what he accuses David of.
SPEAKER_02: He says, Hey, you took it from Saul.
SPEAKER_02: It didn't belong to you, and God's gonna take it from you and give it to your son.
SPEAKER_02: And David's walking down the road, and these men there swore to defend him and his honor are hearing him be insulted all the way down the road.
SPEAKER_02: Why?
SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes people criticize you because they want to control you.
SPEAKER_02: Third thing about criticism is it is by nature personal.
SPEAKER_02: It is personal by nature.
SPEAKER_02: It just is.
SPEAKER_02: You say, well, what do you mean?
SPEAKER_02: It has to be.
SPEAKER_02: It has to be personal because otherwise it never helps you become a better person.
SPEAKER_02: If it's not personal, it's just somebody sharing their opinion, and you're like, oh, okay, whatever.
SPEAKER_02: Because of this, we tend to defend ourselves.
SPEAKER_02: And if you always defend yourself, uh, you you you what happens is you're the same person you've always been, and you realize that people slowly move away from you.
SPEAKER_02: People stop pointing things out in your life.
SPEAKER_02: People stop saying, hey, are you aware that blank?
SPEAKER_02: Fill in the blank.
SPEAKER_02: You say, Well, I I want to get better at receiving criticism.
SPEAKER_02: Great.
SPEAKER_02: I got you some questions.
SPEAKER_02: If you want to get better, here's 10 questions you should ask yourself.
SPEAKER_02: Number one, how do I typically react to correction?
SPEAKER_02: By the way, you ain't gotta try to write these down.
SPEAKER_02: You can pull your phone out and take a picture of this.
SPEAKER_02: How do I typically respond to correction?
SPEAKER_02: For us men, what that means is when your wife puts her hand on your arm and says, Hey, I need to talk to you about something.
SPEAKER_02: How do you respond?
SPEAKER_02: Secondly, do I pout when criticized or corrected?
SPEAKER_02: I don't pout just for the record.
SPEAKER_02: I go in my garage and straighten my garage.
SPEAKER_02: I've got the cleanest garage of anybody in this room.
SPEAKER_02: Because I just got to go out there and think about things.
SPEAKER_02: Pray.
SPEAKER_02: For my wife.
SPEAKER_02: Anyway, that she would be more like me.
SPEAKER_02: Thirdly, what is my first response when someone says I'm wrong?
SPEAKER_02: Here's one.
SPEAKER_02: Am I overly noble when criticized?
SPEAKER_02: Thank you, brother.
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
SPEAKER_02: I really appreciate this.
SPEAKER_02: Liar! How well do I take advice?
SPEAKER_02: Are people able to approach me to correct me?
SPEAKER_02: Am I teachable?
SPEAKER_02: Do I harbor anger against a person who criticizes me?
SPEAKER_02: Do I immediately seek to defend myself?
SPEAKER_02: Can my spouse, parents, kids, brothers, sisters, or friends correct me?
SPEAKER_02: My favorite thing in my family is when my brothers correct me or give me marriage advice.
SPEAKER_02: And I just, the thought goes through my head because they all, I mean, the label they put on me goes, you think you're better than us because you're a preacher.
SPEAKER_02: No, but I'm the only man in the whole sister, our whole family tree that's still married to his first wife.
SPEAKER_02: So when you tell me, hey, this is the way you treat a woman, I laugh out loud and throw up in my mouth.
SPEAKER_02: But I gotta ask myself, is this just my pride?
SPEAKER_02: Fourth thing about criticism, criticism is an opportunity for self-evaluation.
SPEAKER_02: Here's my favorite part.
SPEAKER_02: Do not miss this.
SPEAKER_02: It's an opportunity for self-evaluation.
SPEAKER_02: You want to be this way.
SPEAKER_02: I want to be this way.
SPEAKER_02: David says, Look at verse 9.
SPEAKER_02: And then Abishai the son of Zariah said to the king, Why should this dead dog curse my Lord the king?
SPEAKER_02: Let me go over and take off his head.
SPEAKER_02: But the king said, What have I to do with you, you sons of Zariah?
SPEAKER_02: If he is cursing because the Lord has said to him, Curse David, who then shall say, Why have you done so?
SPEAKER_02: And David said to Abishai and to all his servants, Behold, my own son seeks my life.
SPEAKER_02: Translation, there's some truth in what he's saying.
SPEAKER_02: My own son's trying to kill me.
SPEAKER_02: My own son seeks my life.
SPEAKER_02: How much more may this Benjamite leave him alone and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to.
SPEAKER_02: It may be that the Lord will look on the wrong done to me, and the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing today.
SPEAKER_02: So David and his men went on the road while Shemiah went along on the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went and threw stones at him and flung dust.
SPEAKER_02: Can you imagine just that just all the time?
SPEAKER_02: Just God just hurling it down on you.
SPEAKER_02: Criticism is an opportunity for self-evaluation.
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you mean.
SPEAKER_02: One of the questions you've got to be asking yourself when you read that in the Bible is how does David get to the point where David sees that he has the he's the king, he has the capacity to do something about it, and he chooses not to.
SPEAKER_02: Now think about that.
SPEAKER_02: He has the capacity to do something about it and make a make an example of this guy.
SPEAKER_02: And he chooses not to.
SPEAKER_02: How does he get that way?
SPEAKER_02: The Bible gives us some insight into that.
SPEAKER_02: Like back in the 141st Psalm, verses 3, 4, and 5, David wrote these words.
SPEAKER_02: He says, This is a prayer.
SPEAKER_02: He says, Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth.
SPEAKER_02: Keep watch over the door of my lips.
SPEAKER_02: Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in the company with men who work iniquity.
SPEAKER_02: And let me not eat of their delicacies.
SPEAKER_02: Let a righteous man strike me.
SPEAKER_02: It is a kindness.
SPEAKER_02: Let him rebuke me.
SPEAKER_02: It is oil for my head.
SPEAKER_02: Let me not refuse it.
SPEAKER_02: Yet my prayers continually against their evil deeds.
SPEAKER_02: Now hear that next last sentence there.
SPEAKER_02: David says, Let a righteous man strike me.
SPEAKER_02: It is a kindness.
SPEAKER_02: Let him rebuke me.
SPEAKER_02: It is oil for my head.
SPEAKER_02: What is he talking about?
SPEAKER_02: That's crazy talk.
SPEAKER_02: This is what he's talking about.
SPEAKER_02: Back then, you know when Matt Maryland told you everyone was getting a king, and Israel said, We need a king.
SPEAKER_02: The service of getting a king was they anointed a king.
SPEAKER_02: Like when David became, when God revealed that David was going to be a king when he was a little boy.
SPEAKER_02: What happened was is the guy that the prophet he got a flask of oil, like a jar of oil.
SPEAKER_02: And he lined up all the sons of Jesse because he said he's going to come from Jesse's household.
SPEAKER_02: And he walked by every one of them.
SPEAKER_02: And God said, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_02: And he looked at his dad and said, You got any more?
SPEAKER_02: And he goes, Well, I got this runt of the litter.
SPEAKER_02: He's out there, uh, he works down there at Jiffy Loo, but he, you know, he's out there attending sheep.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, well, go get him.
SPEAKER_02: He walks in.
SPEAKER_02: God says, This is the Lord's anointed.
SPEAKER_02: And to signify that, they poured oil on his head.
SPEAKER_02: And he just runs down.
SPEAKER_02: And they said, Yes, you're the person that God has called and blessed and anointed to lead these people to be their king.
SPEAKER_02: Now, why do I tell you that?
SPEAKER_02: Because David is getting criticized.
SPEAKER_02: And he says this, he says, Hey, let a righteous man strike me.
SPEAKER_02: It is a kindness.
SPEAKER_02: Let him rebuke me.
SPEAKER_02: It is oil for my head.
SPEAKER_02: Let my head not refuse it.
SPEAKER_02: David says, I am being anointed.
SPEAKER_02: When people criticize me, when a righteous man, when someone loves me enough, the Bible says, faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
SPEAKER_02: You should ask yourself, have you been wounded or kissed more in this life?
SPEAKER_02: Because some of us got stuff in our life that we know that we're kind of off on, but our friends do not love us enough to confront us.
SPEAKER_02: Because they just the Bible says they're deceitfully just kissing you.
SPEAKER_02: And the same Bible says that, hey, that your friends are the people that won't love you enough to bruise you now instead of watch you bleed later.
SPEAKER_02: Criticism is an opportunity for self-evaluation, evaluation.
SPEAKER_02: I referenced the article earlier.
SPEAKER_02: Here's two questions from the article that jumped out to me.
SPEAKER_02: It's why I kind of go back and read it and just kind of check it out and examine myself.
SPEAKER_02: Two questions Poirier asked from this article, The Cross and Criticism.
SPEAKER_02: He says, if I continually squirm under the criticism of others, how can I say that I know and agree with the criticism of the cross?
SPEAKER_02: Think about it for a minute.
SPEAKER_02: If I continually squirm under the criticism of others, how can I say that I know and I agree with the criticism of the cross?
SPEAKER_02: Translation: the cross indicts all of us.
SPEAKER_02: The cross judges me.
SPEAKER_02: The cross, the reality of the cross, sends an undeniable message to me to kneel, your pastor.
SPEAKER_02: You're not perfect.
SPEAKER_02: You've sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
SPEAKER_02: So when someone comes to me and says, Hey, by the way, like last week, someone wrote a like a 10-point evaluation of the service last week and said, Hey, we had some sound issues.
SPEAKER_02: Can we do this?
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, hey, you you sound like you know a lot of it, I don't know what modulation is, but the person didn't sign it.
SPEAKER_02: So if you're here today, I'm not mad.
SPEAKER_02: I'm saying, help us.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not defensive.
SPEAKER_02: Why are you not defensive?
SPEAKER_02: Because the cross has already exposed me as a sinner.
SPEAKER_02: The cross has already judged me.
SPEAKER_02: Think about it this way: when your biggest critic comes to you, or the next time you get evaluated at work, don't suck up to your boss two weeks before evaluation.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, boss, how about some Starbucks?
SPEAKER_02: Sit down and say, But hey, before this thing gets going, I don't want you to hold back.
SPEAKER_02: I want you to tell me the truth because I want to get better at my job.
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to just appease you and man and manage your impression of me.
SPEAKER_02: I want to bring value to this company.
SPEAKER_02: How do you get like that?
SPEAKER_02: How can you be 15 and not be catty and defensive and this social media monger trying to convince everybody I'm really interesting?
SPEAKER_02: You embrace the fact that the cross has already judged you.
SPEAKER_02: That you cannot, you, you, you, you, you realize that you're not perfect.
SPEAKER_02: So when someone comes to you, you're not gonna be defensive.
SPEAKER_02: Here's why.
SPEAKER_02: This person, your biggest critic, knows one millionth of one tenth of one percent of the truth about you.
SPEAKER_02: On their best day, that's all.
SPEAKER_02: They know.
SPEAKER_02: They know one millionth of one tenth of one percent.
SPEAKER_02: If bad, I'm being generous.
SPEAKER_02: And look at me.
SPEAKER_02: The God of the Bible knows everything about you.
SPEAKER_02: And he sacrificed his son for you.
SPEAKER_02: Second question from the article I want you to think about is this.
SPEAKER_02: If I typically justify myself, how can I say I know love and cling to God's justification of me through the cross?
SPEAKER_02: If I'm typically justified myself, if I explain it away, oh, the reason I'm that way is blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_02: How can I say that I know love and cling to God's justification of me through the cross?
SPEAKER_02: Here's a simple way to remember it.
SPEAKER_02: I am judged by the cross.
SPEAKER_02: As a person, despite my best efforts, I need grace.
SPEAKER_02: I need God to forgive me.
SPEAKER_02: I do not have it all together.
SPEAKER_02: I'm judged by the cross, but I'm also justified by the cross.
SPEAKER_02: I'm judged and I'm justified simultaneously.
SPEAKER_02: We sing a song here.
SPEAKER_02: We used to sing a song here, and it had a line in it that said, Of the cross, two wonders here that I confess.
SPEAKER_02: My worth and my unworthiness.
SPEAKER_02: That's the cross.
SPEAKER_02: It judges me and it justifies me.
SPEAKER_02: Some people come to me and they say, Hey, you know, hey, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it ain't about my feelings.
SPEAKER_02: Please love me enough to give me some feedback.
SPEAKER_02: Tell me the truth.
SPEAKER_02: And then they look like, well, you're not sad or crying or mad.
SPEAKER_02: I knew I was a sinner before you came up and talked to me.
SPEAKER_02: You're just confirming that I'm really a sinner and I need somebody to pay for my sin.
SPEAKER_02: Oh, whoopsie, he has.
SPEAKER_02: So I don't have to get defensive.
SPEAKER_02: Last thing about that criticism, criticism reminds us of our humanity.
SPEAKER_02: Look at verse 14.
SPEAKER_02: You still with me?
SPEAKER_02: This is my favorite part.
SPEAKER_02: It says, and the king and all the people who were with him arrived weary at the Jordan, and there he refreshed himself.
SPEAKER_02: Y'all are like, Really?
SPEAKER_02: That's your favorite part?
SPEAKER_02: Hear it again.
SPEAKER_02: It'll land on you this time.
SPEAKER_02: Clearly you missed it.
SPEAKER_02: And the king and all the people who were with him arrived weary at the Jordan and there he refreshed himself.
SPEAKER_02: Did you get it that time?
SPEAKER_02: Some of y'all are like, you're a strange little man.
SPEAKER_02: Break it down.
SPEAKER_02: Here's why it's my favorite part.
SPEAKER_02: Here's why criticism reminds us of our humanity.
SPEAKER_02: Break it down and hear it.
SPEAKER_02: And the king.
SPEAKER_02: Question.
SPEAKER_02: Do you feel like you have to always have it together?
SPEAKER_02: Because you're in leadership.
SPEAKER_02: Do you feel like you always have to have it together?
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I remember when I first started traveling, before I became the pastor, I traveled and preached all over the country.
SPEAKER_02: And I remember I was somewhere it was.
SPEAKER_02: But the pastor picked me up and he was very serious.
SPEAKER_02: He picked me up at the hotel and he was like, Well, you know, we've really been praying and we really need this to go well and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_02: And he dropped me off at the hotel about 2:30.
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know what I did, but about 3 o'clock, 3.15, I was like, I'm really sleepy.
SPEAKER_02: So I laid down and took a nap.
SPEAKER_02: He said, I'll come back and pick up at 6 o'clock.
SPEAKER_02: So I laid down and took a nap.
SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, about four, about four o'clock, boom, boom, boom.
SPEAKER_02: There's a knock on my door.
SPEAKER_02: And I got up and I peeked out the window and it was a pastor.
SPEAKER_02: So I opened up my computer and opened up my Bible and laid it on the table, and then I opened the door.
SPEAKER_02: And he said, You weren't asleep, were you?
SPEAKER_02: We've been praying for you for months.
SPEAKER_02: And I was, oh, getting ready for tonight.
SPEAKER_02: That's a lie.
SPEAKER_02: I was just managing his impression of me.
SPEAKER_02: I was 20-something years old back then.
SPEAKER_02: I ain't 20-something anymore.
SPEAKER_02: You knock on my door now, I'm going to yell back, I'm sleeping.
SPEAKER_02: Go away.
SPEAKER_02: The king.
SPEAKER_02: And the king.
SPEAKER_02: Be careful because if you because you start thinking you're the king, you think I gotta manage everyone's impression of me.
SPEAKER_02: No, you don't.
SPEAKER_02: And all the people who are with him.
SPEAKER_02: Are you bothered when other people know your shortcomings?
SPEAKER_02: How do you celebrate your shortcomings?
SPEAKER_02: Arrived weary at the Jordan.
SPEAKER_02: Are you able to show how criticism affects you?
SPEAKER_02: Arrived weary at the Jordan.
SPEAKER_02: Not just the king, and the king and all the people who were with him.
SPEAKER_02: All of them.
SPEAKER_02: There's one guy up there on the ridge, just beating them down, throwing rocks at him, hurling insults, and they're like, man, full of love of Pete.
SPEAKER_02: Shut up, okay?
SPEAKER_02: Are you able to be honest and just kind of say, hey, I had a bad day.
SPEAKER_02: I got a bad review.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody pointed out something, and I and I wanted to like smash her in the face.
SPEAKER_02: I fantasize her face was play-doh and I could just squish it.
SPEAKER_02: But because I'm a Christian, I didn't.
SPEAKER_02: Well, why'd you feel that way?
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
SPEAKER_02: I just I'm just kind of in a funk.
SPEAKER_02: Here's the one you gotta be careful of.
SPEAKER_02: Here's this one.
SPEAKER_02: And there he refreshed himself.
SPEAKER_02: You're like, what's wrong with that?
SPEAKER_02: There he refreshed himself.
SPEAKER_02: Remember the first time we took a men's trip to Costa Rica, worked like dogs, we finally finished the last day, the sun was still up, we went down to the river.
SPEAKER_02: I mean, talk about refreshing yourself.
SPEAKER_02: I laid in that river for two hours.
SPEAKER_02: Ice cold water.
SPEAKER_02: I think it was paralyzed.
SPEAKER_02: If it wasn't for a rock I was holding on to, I'd be somewhere in Bolivia right now.
SPEAKER_02: I'd have just floated on down the stream.
SPEAKER_02: Somebody said, get up.
SPEAKER_02: I was like, I can't.
SPEAKER_02: They got to the Jordan River and there they refreshed themselves.
SPEAKER_02: Here's a question I want to ask you.
SPEAKER_02: What refreshes you when you're just beat down by all you've got going on?
SPEAKER_02: What refreshes you?
SPEAKER_02: Here's why you should ask that question.
SPEAKER_02: Because it's in the arena of what refreshes you that you need to pay careful attention because there in that arena you're prone to excess.
SPEAKER_02: It goes from refreshing yourself to self-medicating in a nanosecond.
SPEAKER_02: I have a friend of mine, his wife said to him, Hey, three beer John's okay.
SPEAKER_02: Five beer John is mean.
SPEAKER_02: You say, How do you know that?
SPEAKER_02: Because he told me over coffee one day.
SPEAKER_02: I said, How's marriage?
SPEAKER_02: He goes, I'm mad at my wife.
SPEAKER_02: And what his wife said, she used different language, but what she said was, hey, what used to refresh you is now makes you not enjoyable to be around.
SPEAKER_02: I do not like you.
SPEAKER_02: I know you got a lot going on at work when you come home, and it's two, five, seven.
SPEAKER_02: I don't like being around you.
SPEAKER_02: So you got to be mindful.
SPEAKER_02: Hey, what refreshes me?
SPEAKER_02: Why?
SPEAKER_02: Because criticism reminds us of our humanity.
SPEAKER_02: It's this opportunity for self-evaluation.
SPEAKER_02: It's an opportunity to say, hey, this person may be sent from the Lord.
SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying they are, but I'm open to that possibility.
SPEAKER_02: Because it's personal.
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's a veiled attempt at control.
SPEAKER_02: But here's one thing about it it is a universal experience.
SPEAKER_02: And because all of us are going to experience criticism, we need to get better at it.
SPEAKER_02: Let's pray together.
SPEAKER_02: Just take a moment and think about what the gospel said to you this morning.
SPEAKER_02: If you're a guest, we like to teach the Bible and then give you some soul space to think about it.
SPEAKER_02: And so for about the next 90 seconds, that's all I want you to do is just kind of ask, hey God, what had my name on it today?
SPEAKER_02: And what do I do with what I heard?
SPEAKER_02: Let's think about those two things.
SPEAKER_02: Lord, none of us in this room likes to be criticized.
SPEAKER_02: It bothers us.
SPEAKER_02: We don't like the thought that somebody somewhere is talking about us.
SPEAKER_02: And if they're talking about us with other people, that just magnifies how much it gets at us.
SPEAKER_02: In those moments, let us remind ourselves, I've been judged and justified by the cross.
SPEAKER_02: There's nothing these people can do to me.
SPEAKER_02: The Lord is, as the psalmist said in the 27th Psalm, the Lord is my light and my salvation.
SPEAKER_02: Whom shall I fear?
SPEAKER_02: Of whom shall I be afraid?
SPEAKER_02: What said differently, Lord, what are they gonna find out about me that you don't already know?
SPEAKER_02: That you didn't give your son for.
SPEAKER_02: I can be free from being defensive today.
SPEAKER_02: I can be free from giving the illusion that I have it all together all the time.
SPEAKER_02: So, Lord, it's because of that we want to get better at criticism.
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
SPEAKER_02: Provoke us to think and to live like the Bible says we can.
SPEAKER_02: That's what we want.
SPEAKER_02: And so we ask for it in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_02: And everyone said, Amen.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: If you're our guest today, when you came in, you're giving a worship folder on the far right side is a tarot portion.
SPEAKER_02: Hopefully you took the time to fill that out.
SPEAKER_02: If you'll just tear it off and drop it on these wooden boxes by the doors, and for all of us, if today's the day that you uh you worship through obedience or generosity, that's where you would take care of that as well.
SPEAKER_02: As we say here at Grand Parkway, do all God's told you to do, say all he's told you to say, and give all he's told you to give.
SPEAKER_02: All right?
SPEAKER_02: Uh when we're dismissed here in just a minute, myself and some of our pastors and elders will be available down front.
SPEAKER_02: We stand down here because we want to pray with you.
SPEAKER_02: If you're going through something, we want to know about it, we want to come alongside you.
SPEAKER_02: If you have any questions about our church or anything you heard me say or we sang today, come ask us.
SPEAKER_02: We'd love that.
SPEAKER_02: If it's your first, second, or third time, well, all we ask of you is you just come and introduce yourself.
SPEAKER_02: We're not going to try to trap you in the conversation.
SPEAKER_02: We just want to put a name with a face, okay?
SPEAKER_02: By the way, listen.
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
SPEAKER_02: The nap monsters coming.
SPEAKER_02: Stand up.
SPEAKER_02: Hold your hands out.
SPEAKER_02: I'm speaking a blessing over you.
SPEAKER_02: You're not perfect.
SPEAKER_02: And the cross exposes that.
SPEAKER_02: Celebrate it.
SPEAKER_02: That's the freest cat in the room.
SPEAKER_02: And deep inside you want to be that free.
SPEAKER_02: Good news.
SPEAKER_02: The Bible says you are.
SPEAKER_02: Because of Jesus, you are.
SPEAKER_02: So depart now and be the freed up men and women and students and children that He created you to be.
SPEAKER_02: In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
SPEAKER_02: Bless you or dismissed.