SPEAKER_03: This podcast is brought to you by Grand Parkway Baptist Church.
SPEAKER_03: Helping people to know, enjoy, and glorify God.
SPEAKER_03: For more information about Grand Parkway, visit GrandParkway.org.
SPEAKER_01: Let's pray together.
SPEAKER_01: Father, we uh we rejoice today that uh there's understanding that we've expressed in the name of worship.
SPEAKER_01: Uh there's just a couple of things that we want to acknowledge.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, one is that all our ways are known to you.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, that's not like that you're a cop who's hiding behind a billboard trying to catch us speeding, doing something wrong.
SPEAKER_01: You know, you're a you're a gracious, generous father who's saying, All the things that you don't know, I already know.
SPEAKER_01: When is school gonna get back to normal?
SPEAKER_01: You already know.
SPEAKER_01: When can we stop wearing these stinking masks?
SPEAKER_01: You already know.
SPEAKER_01: When is who's gonna be the president?
SPEAKER_01: You already know.
SPEAKER_01: So we can stop obsessing about all these things because all of our ways, not just what we've done, we think of that in the negative, like you're trying to catch us and doing wrong.
SPEAKER_01: But all the things that we aspire to do, and we don't know how they're gonna turn out.
SPEAKER_01: You already know.
SPEAKER_01: So we acknowledge that, Lord, and we just confess that our the the prayer of our life is that Christ be magnified.
SPEAKER_01: We say with John the Baptist that you must increase and we must decrease, and we're very okay with that.
SPEAKER_01: By decrease, we mean get smaller.
SPEAKER_01: So let us get smaller today because of the teaching from the text, and let let the Holy Spirit let God get bigger in us, in our behavior, not just in our thoughts and our desires, but in our behavior and its outcomes.
SPEAKER_01: Let Christ be magnified.
SPEAKER_01: This is our prayer, God.
SPEAKER_01: We prayed in Jesus' name, and everyone said, Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna see if you got a Bible, I invite you to take it and open up to Matthew chapter 18.
SPEAKER_01: Matthew chapter 18.
SPEAKER_01: And uh, we're finishing today a series we've been in all summer long on the parables, these heavenly stories that make a world of difference in our in our present day.
SPEAKER_01: And I want to talk to you from Matthew 18 this morning about how to forgive people who have hurt you, how to forgive people who have hurt you.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I want to begin with a couple of introductory statements before I ever even read the text.
SPEAKER_01: A couple of introductory thoughts, and here they are.
SPEAKER_01: Number one, we've sinned far more grievously against God than anybody could ever sin against us.
SPEAKER_01: That sounds like an innocuous, like, oh, no big deal, but let me just say it again.
SPEAKER_01: We have sinned far more grievously against God than anybody could ever sin against what us.
SPEAKER_01: Here's why: because God by nature is holy and people by nature aren't.
SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying it's not a big deal when you sin against them, but you have to just hold on to that I have sinned grievously against God.
SPEAKER_01: Secondly, because of this, we should never outgrow the wonder of forgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: We should never outgrow the wonder of forgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: Now to the text, Matthew chapter 18, starting verse 21.
SPEAKER_01: Then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?
SPEAKER_01: As many as seven times?
SPEAKER_01: And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.
SPEAKER_01: When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
SPEAKER_01: And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.
SPEAKER_01: So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.
SPEAKER_01: And out of his and out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave the debt.
SPEAKER_01: But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe.
SPEAKER_01: So this fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, Man, have patience with me, and I will pay you.
SPEAKER_01: He refused, and he went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
SPEAKER_01: When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
SPEAKER_01: And then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
SPEAKER_01: And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?
SPEAKER_01: And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt.
SPEAKER_01: So also, see, Jesus doesn't just tell stories to fill the time, he tells parables to make a point.
SPEAKER_01: Here is the point.
SPEAKER_01: So also, my heavenly Father, will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.
SPEAKER_01: If you do not forgive your brother from your heart, how to forgive people who have hurt you.
SPEAKER_01: Now, by the way, the best sermons are the ones that you practice before you preach.
SPEAKER_01: And so I am, I've practiced the sermon already this morning before I got up here to preach it because last night I rubbed my eye or something and it got irritated.
SPEAKER_01: Then it started just swelling up.
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, man, this is not good.
SPEAKER_01: Uh and so this morning I just went to bed because I'm a dude, I ought to be better.
SPEAKER_01: Uh and so this morning I woke up and it was really swollen.
SPEAKER_01: And so I said to my wife, Hey, do we have any leftover medicine?
SPEAKER_01: Our kids will get pink eye, they're little kids.
SPEAKER_01: Any leftover medicine for pink eye?
SPEAKER_01: She said, We sure do.
SPEAKER_01: She comes in there and she goes, It says put five drops in each eye.
SPEAKER_01: So she put five drops in this eye, five drops in that eye, and about five minutes later, she came back.
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, that was supposed to go in your ear.
SPEAKER_01: That's for an ear infection.
SPEAKER_01: And so all of a sudden I'm starting to lose, I'm starting to lose my vision.
SPEAKER_01: It's starting to, I'm like, come and let me look at you one more time.
SPEAKER_01: I'm going blind.
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, quick, go, go, wash your eyes down.
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you have an eye washing station in your home as well.
SPEAKER_01: And so I got in the shower and held my eyelids open so I could just blast the toxins out of my eyes.
SPEAKER_01: And then she came back and said, Oh, I found something.
SPEAKER_01: This goes in your eyes.
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Here, I'll put it in my eyes after I read the label.
SPEAKER_01: And then she apologized three more times, and I was like, Hey, it's no big deal.
SPEAKER_01: I'm preaching on forgiveness today, so I forgive you.
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's like I did it on purpose.
SPEAKER_01: Uh you kind of did.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you poisoned me.
SPEAKER_01: I don't have that big of an insurance policy, but nice try, lady, okay?
SPEAKER_01: Now, I joke about that, and my wife is so sensitive.
SPEAKER_01: My wife will apologize three more times before she goes to bed tonight.
SPEAKER_01: And I'll try not to make the most of that.
SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, I think I need to lay here, my eyes are really stinging.
SPEAKER_01: I think I need to lay here in the dark and watch the golf tournament for three hours.
SPEAKER_01: You go in the next room and she's like, oh, not be around you, that's not really punishment.
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, uh, when I say how to forgive people who have hurt you, this is what I mean, okay?
SPEAKER_01: And there's six things I want to say.
SPEAKER_01: The first three are going to be easy.
SPEAKER_01: The last three, we're gonna get personal, okay?
SPEAKER_01: So don't check out on me, okay?
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and here's the first thing about how to forgive people who hurt you.
SPEAKER_01: Number one, focus on the part you can control.
SPEAKER_01: Focus on the part that you can control.
SPEAKER_01: Look at verse 21.
SPEAKER_01: One of my favorite verses in the entire Bible because it's so raw and so real, it's never in any topical memory system or scripture memorization cards or anything.
SPEAKER_01: But listen to this.
SPEAKER_01: Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me?
SPEAKER_01: Stop right there.
SPEAKER_01: Lord, how often will my brother sin against me?
SPEAKER_01: When I say focus on the part you can control, that's not the part you can control.
SPEAKER_01: How often will my brother sin against me?
SPEAKER_01: Look at me.
SPEAKER_01: Here's the answer countless times, more than you can fathom.
SPEAKER_01: And notice he didn't say a stranger, he says, my brother.
SPEAKER_01: This is someone that's a part of the Christian community.
SPEAKER_01: This is someone I consider a friend or even a family member.
SPEAKER_01: How often will my brother sin against me?
SPEAKER_01: Infinite number of times.
SPEAKER_01: Comma, and I forgive him.
SPEAKER_01: When I say focus on the part you can control, what I'm saying is you got to get on the right side of the comma.
SPEAKER_01: Not right as in right or wrong, but right instead of left, like more directional.
SPEAKER_01: How often will my brother forgive me?
SPEAKER_01: If you just stay on that side, you'll be overwhelmed, fearful, you'll brace in for what negative thing is gonna happen next.
SPEAKER_01: You'll seek to accommodate people, to befriend them, to be real nice to them.
SPEAKER_01: And then guess what they'll do?
SPEAKER_01: They'll sin against you again, and you'll start thinking, what's wrong with me that everybody does me wrong?
SPEAKER_01: You focus on the wrong side.
SPEAKER_01: You gotta get on the right side of the comma.
SPEAKER_01: And by the way, here's the answer to that question: why do people keep sinning against me?
SPEAKER_01: Because they're like the rest of us, they're selfish sinners who, as Isaiah says, they've turned aside and they've all gone to their own way.
SPEAKER_01: This is why our brothers and our sisters sin against us.
SPEAKER_01: So, what is the part that you can control?
SPEAKER_01: It's the part on the right side of the comma where Peter says, and I forgive him.
SPEAKER_01: And I forgive him.
SPEAKER_01: You can't control how people are going to treat you, what they're going to say about you, what they're going to do about you, how they're what they're going to comment upon, what they're going to uh their comment about your latest social media post.
SPEAKER_01: You can't control any of that.
SPEAKER_01: All you can control is your response.
SPEAKER_01: So instead of trying to figure out how many times people sin against you, the text calls us to understand the responsibility of being forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: Hear that again.
SPEAKER_01: It's not trying to figure out other motives for people's behavior.
SPEAKER_01: The biblical text today calls us to understand the responsibility of not of forgiveness, the responsibility of being forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: You say, Well, isn't this about how to forgive people who've hurt you?
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01: But the the responsibility, if you think how this calls me to understand the responsibility of forgiveness, then it's this external set of principles that I'm gonna practice, or I'm gonna read a book, or I'm gonna go to a counselor, and they're gonna give me five things to do to forgive.
SPEAKER_01: Here's what the Bible says: it's the responsibility of being forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: Because the responsibility of being forgiven is much more threatening to my preferences.
SPEAKER_01: The responsibility of being forgiven for my$36 billion debt is that I turn around and forgive the guy that I see at Starbucks that owes me$600.
SPEAKER_01: I don't choke him out and go, dude, you owe me now, pay me.
SPEAKER_01: You've lied to me the past two months.
SPEAKER_01: I know you've gotten paid since the last time you told a lie.
SPEAKER_01: No, I I I forgive the responsibility of being forgiven is much more threatening to our preferences because what it means is I now have the capacity and the responsibility to forgive.
SPEAKER_01: How do I forgive people who hurt me?
SPEAKER_01: Secondly, you put yourself in a bigger context.
SPEAKER_01: Hear the text again.
SPEAKER_01: Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him?
SPEAKER_01: As many as seven times.
SPEAKER_01: And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times.
SPEAKER_01: And then Jesus says, Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wishes to settle accounts with his servants.
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes asking Jesus a question is like tying up a blowing up a balloon and you don't tie it off, you just let it go, and it goes, it's just all over the room.
SPEAKER_01: You've got to realize that people would ask Jesus a question, and his response was so out of left field, they were just like, What in the world is he talking about?
SPEAKER_01: This is a great example.
SPEAKER_01: Peter wants the letter of the law.
SPEAKER_01: Lord, give me a number.
SPEAKER_01: How many times do I have to give my brother?
SPEAKER_01: Seven times?
SPEAKER_01: Seven times sounds like a good number.
SPEAKER_01: That's higher than the average.
SPEAKER_01: And Jesus is like, I tell you, seven times, seventy, seventy, seven times.
SPEAKER_01: And then here's what here's what happens.
SPEAKER_01: Jesus, I mean, excuse me, Peter asks a Peter question and Jesus gives a kingdom answer.
SPEAKER_01: Only in the context of the kingdom are we capable of what the Bible calls for.
SPEAKER_01: This is why you have to put yourself in a bigger context.
SPEAKER_01: If it's just in the context of me, then you keep score.
SPEAKER_01: If it's just in the context of you, it's basically, hey, this is what I deserve, this is what you don't deserve.
SPEAKER_01: But you got to put yourself in the bigger context.
SPEAKER_01: And by the way, that's not something you have to do.
SPEAKER_01: If you're a Christian, you've already been brought into the context of the kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: Colossians chapter 1, verse 13.
SPEAKER_01: It says, He, Jesus, has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
SPEAKER_01: And so it's not just being a Christian is not just forgiveness for your sins, it's a posture and a position in the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_01: You're no longer in the domain of darkness.
SPEAKER_01: You have been transferred over here into the kingdom of his son, whom he loves, where you have redemption and the forgiveness of sins.
SPEAKER_01: And so, because of that, now I'm responsible for living and forgiving in such a way that the kingdom of God is represented, experienced, and expanded.
SPEAKER_01: Let me say that again.
SPEAKER_01: Now I'm responsible because I was born by nature in the domain of darkness, okay?
SPEAKER_01: Doing what what everybody else did.
SPEAKER_01: Did not have the capacity to keep the commands of God.
SPEAKER_01: But when I became a Christian, I was delivered out of that.
SPEAKER_01: Sin no longer has power over me.
SPEAKER_01: And I was brought into the kingdom of his son, whom he loves and whom I have redemption and the forgiveness of sins.
SPEAKER_01: And now I'm not just responsible for representing me, I'm responsible for representing king and kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: So people watch me and the way I forgive and the way I treat people, and they're getting an idea of what God is like, the king, and what the Christian life is like, the kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: And so it's more so much more sobering because I'm responsible for living and forgiving in such a way that the king and the kingdom are accurately represented.
SPEAKER_01: Here's the third thing the text tells us about how do we forgive people who hurt us.
SPEAKER_01: You have to remember who you are in the story.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 23 Remember who you are in the story, therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wish to settle accounts with his servants.
SPEAKER_01: I'm just stop right there.
SPEAKER_01: A king who wishes to settle accounts with his servants.
SPEAKER_01: There's three things I want to tell you under this third point here.
SPEAKER_01: And the first one is simply this there's two people mentioned king and servants.
SPEAKER_01: King and servants.
SPEAKER_01: The king has rights, the servants have responsibility.
SPEAKER_01: You gotta you gotta make sure that you understand who you and I are.
SPEAKER_01: We're not the king.
SPEAKER_01: We want to be the king.
SPEAKER_01: We want to dole out punishment to people we think need to be punished, and we want to withhold forgiveness from those who don't seem uh uh uh overwhelmed enough that we would forgive them, and so we want to withhold it until they do the little dance of forgiveness and they lay down and feel bad.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I don't think you're done feeling bad.
SPEAKER_01: And so if you think you're the king, then you're deciding who gets off.
SPEAKER_01: But if you're the servant, and the Bible says that we all are, it's a whole different ball game.
SPEAKER_01: So remember who you are in the story.
SPEAKER_01: The first thing I want to say is that there's two people king, rights, servants, responsibilities.
SPEAKER_01: Second thing I want to say about this is that uh notice that the text also says that he wished to settle accounts with his servants.
SPEAKER_01: He wished to settle accounts.
SPEAKER_01: This is not an expression of desire, this is an expression of intent.
SPEAKER_01: When you're the king, you have no unfulfilled desires.
SPEAKER_01: It's not an expression of desire.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I wish I could settle accounts.
SPEAKER_01: How many of you in this room don't raise your hand?
SPEAKER_01: But if you have somebody that owes you money in just in a personal relationship or in business, okay, I have a lot of people in my family.
SPEAKER_01: Every time I get around them, they say the same thing.
SPEAKER_01: Hey man, let me hold$100, let me hold$50, let me hold$200.
SPEAKER_01: And I say the same thing every time.
SPEAKER_01: It ain't heavy.
SPEAKER_01: I hold it myself.
SPEAKER_01: Now, was I always that way?
SPEAKER_01: No, because I I was like, hey, I want to be a good example to my family.
SPEAKER_01: And so, oh, here's$20, here's$50.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you need$200?
SPEAKER_01: Let me go to the ATM machine.
SPEAKER_01: Because unlike you, I don't carry$200 around.
SPEAKER_01: And so I would go and I would give it to these people.
SPEAKER_01: And then I realized the next time I came, they just asked for more money.
SPEAKER_01: And I would leave angry.
SPEAKER_01: And it's not good because when I'm angry, I talk like this.
SPEAKER_01: And my wife's like, hey, babe, don't take it out on me.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Well, why you're my wife, you're supposed to understand.
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, You ain't got to give them money.
SPEAKER_01: Because I thought always given to them is how I prove to them that I'm a Christian and I'm a good person.
SPEAKER_01: You probably don't have family like this because I got not all my family, sorry, but a lot of them are.
SPEAKER_01: And they see me, they mistake kindness for weakness.
SPEAKER_01: And so when I read in here, and it talks about, oh man, who we are, and we we used to settle accounts.
SPEAKER_01: Every once in a while I think, how do I get back all the money I've loaned to my family over the years?
SPEAKER_01: I just had to give up one day just saying, these people never gonna pay me back.
SPEAKER_01: And so when I realized they're never gonna pay me back, guess what I did?
SPEAKER_01: I stopped loaning money to them.
SPEAKER_01: The record was, hey, I need about 600.
SPEAKER_01: Can you help me?
SPEAKER_01: Can you help me out?
SPEAKER_01: No.
SPEAKER_01: You know what?
SPEAKER_01: I probably could because I got the Dave Ramsey emergency fund, but your situation's not my emergency.
SPEAKER_01: You think you're better than me.
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not better than you.
SPEAKER_01: I just don't have multiple women I gotta pay child support to because I'm an undisciplined man morally.
SPEAKER_01: You want to go there?
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's that's enough.
SPEAKER_01: No, the king is not like us.
SPEAKER_01: And when it says the king wishes to settle accounts, that's not uh a declaration of uh of desire, it's a declaration of intent.
SPEAKER_01: What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01: Because the the parable ends and the king settles accounts.
SPEAKER_01: Why is that a big deal?
SPEAKER_01: Look at me.
SPEAKER_01: Here's why it's a big deal: because you and I don't have to.
SPEAKER_01: We don't have to keep score.
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to live bitter at my family, my half-brother, because he's always living palm up.
SPEAKER_01: Just help me get on my feet.
SPEAKER_01: Man, you've been on your feet 15 times and you still can't stop using, okay?
SPEAKER_01: Just stop asking.
SPEAKER_01: No, the king's gonna settle accounts.
SPEAKER_01: So I can say, you know what?
SPEAKER_01: I'm done.
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to do this.
SPEAKER_01: I got a wife and kids, I gotta take care of them.
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to be non-discerningly generous to you all to prove that I don't think I'm better than you because that guilt isn't working on a forgiving man anymore.
SPEAKER_01: The king's gonna settle accounts, and so you can just you can stop trying to be the king and be the servant.
SPEAKER_01: Here's the last thing I want to say under this point is that the purpose of the parable is not just to teach about forgiveness, but it's to explain how the kingship of God operates in the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_01: The parable is not just about forgiveness, it's about how the king operates in the kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: And the king is going to settle his accounts again.
SPEAKER_01: Here's the fourth thing.
SPEAKER_01: Now we're gonna start getting a little more personal.
SPEAKER_01: We've been we've been skipping rocks.
SPEAKER_01: Now we're gonna throw a boulder in the pond.
SPEAKER_01: The fourth thing is simply this you how do you forgive people who've hurt you?
SPEAKER_01: You have to release them as well.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 24.
SPEAKER_01: When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents.
SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't want to get in all the details of this, but a talent was not a denomination of money.
SPEAKER_01: It was a it was a weight of measurement.
SPEAKER_01: It was between 75 to 100 pounds.
SPEAKER_01: It was what the average man could carry on his back in a pack uh for the day.
SPEAKER_01: And so 75 to 100 pounds, this cat owed him 10,000 talents.
SPEAKER_01: And if this was gold, this was either gold or silver or copper.
SPEAKER_01: That was the three dominant currencies back then.
SPEAKER_01: Let's just say for the sake of math, it was gold.
SPEAKER_01: Let's just say for the sake of math, a hundred uh pounds is a talent.
SPEAKER_01: He owned 10,000 talents.
SPEAKER_01: You got to take 100 pounds, 16 ounces a pound, and then multiply that by 10,000, and then multiply that by the current price of gold.
SPEAKER_01: It's over 36 billion dollars in our current economy.
SPEAKER_01: This is how unfathomable.
SPEAKER_01: This this was not a guy, it was not a day laborer.
SPEAKER_01: This was a servant that worked like for the king, and then and this guy worked like higher up in the government.
SPEAKER_01: This is the guy that works at the investment fund that skims and scams money for 23 years before anybody finds it out.
SPEAKER_01: When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents.
SPEAKER_01: And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had.
SPEAKER_01: Don't think your sin only affects you.
SPEAKER_01: And payment be made.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 26.
SPEAKER_01: So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me and I will pay you everything.
SPEAKER_01: And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave his debt.
SPEAKER_01: Here, verse 27 again.
SPEAKER_01: And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave the debt.
SPEAKER_01: When I say you have to release them as well, I'm saying forgiveness also involves release.
SPEAKER_01: And we forgive sometimes, but we don't forget.
SPEAKER_01: And we keep people locked up in this performance, in this prison of performance, where they have to keep acting like they know what a big mistake it was that they made and what a big deal it was.
SPEAKER_01: And the only thing bigger deal than what you did, that mistake you made, or the way you sinned against me, the only thing bigger than that is the fact that I was such a big person that I chose to forgive you.
SPEAKER_01: Really?
SPEAKER_01: I know that sounds good, but that's you being king and not servant, not going, oh, you know what, I've been forgiven 36 billion.
SPEAKER_01: I I don't have a leg to stand on, my man.
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean that doesn't minimize how people sin against you.
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't say, write welcome on your forehead and just be a doormat.
SPEAKER_01: It means that you can forgive people and release people because we forgive people, but we don't always release them, release them.
SPEAKER_01: We got them locked up over there in that prison cell.
SPEAKER_01: It says basically, I forgive you, but I'm watching.
SPEAKER_01: I remember what you did.
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
SPEAKER_01: Don't kid yourself.
SPEAKER_01: I remember what you did, and you remember what you did.
SPEAKER_01: If you're not careful, I got this, I got the keys to the cell right here.
SPEAKER_01: You don't have, you notice you never have to use those keys.
SPEAKER_01: Because here's what happens.
SPEAKER_01: I see this a lot in relationships where there's unfaithfulness.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, the person just lives with this cloud of suspicion, and we control them through our unforgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: So uh I mean I mean we forgive them, we just don't release them.
SPEAKER_01: Well, here's what happens over time, your partner just says, you know what?
SPEAKER_01: I'd rather stay locked up in the cell over here than be with you because I don't feel safe there.
SPEAKER_01: And so not only are you violated in your relationship, but you are isolated in the relationship going forward.
SPEAKER_01: You're just lonely.
SPEAKER_01: And it is a prison of your own making because you think I got him locked up.
SPEAKER_01: Your person are.
SPEAKER_01: I got her locked up.
SPEAKER_01: A man, I got a text this morning after 8 o'clock service.
SPEAKER_01: Started with this.
SPEAKER_01: You mean to tell me I have to forgive my wife and just act like it didn't happen?
SPEAKER_01: Did I say that in the sermon?
SPEAKER_01: Not at all.
SPEAKER_01: But I am saying if you forgive, you got to release them.
SPEAKER_01: You just got to set them free.
SPEAKER_01: This is how you know you release someone.
SPEAKER_01: Now, I get it.
SPEAKER_01: I get it.
SPEAKER_01: It's hard to let them out because if you do, you think, oh, they might do this again, and then I'm going to feel like an absolute fool.
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01: Look at me.
SPEAKER_01: There is always an element of foolishness to forgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: There always is.
SPEAKER_01: We can't scrape that off with a putty knife.
SPEAKER_01: We can't act like that's not there.
SPEAKER_01: The only thing more foolish than you've forgiven them is God forgiving you.
SPEAKER_01: That's why we started where we started this morning.
SPEAKER_01: Here's how you know you've released someone.
SPEAKER_01: You can see them being someone different than they were to you.
SPEAKER_01: You can see them being different.
SPEAKER_01: You can actually envision what happened never happening again.
SPEAKER_01: Because they don't have to prove themselves.
SPEAKER_01: They can just be themselves.
SPEAKER_01: Anytime in counseling, people come to me and they say, hey, we're didn't make always the right choices.
SPEAKER_01: I always ask this question.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, in your relationship currently, can you just be yourself?
SPEAKER_01: Or do you feel like you always got to prove yourself?
SPEAKER_01: And the person that was unfaithful always looks down and is like, oh, that's a tough question.
SPEAKER_01: Let me say this also.
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's not another person you need to release.
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's yourself you need to let out of that prison.
SPEAKER_01: The hardest person for some of you to forgive, it's not somebody else, it's yourself.
SPEAKER_01: You're like, I can't believe I did it again.
SPEAKER_01: I told myself, I went to counseling, I cried, I prayed, I rededicated my life, blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_01: How do you forgive someone who's hurt you?
SPEAKER_01: Here's the fifth thing the Bible tells us this morning.
SPEAKER_01: You understand that your experience becomes the standard.
SPEAKER_01: Your experience becomes the standard.
SPEAKER_01: Verse 28, when that same servant, after he was released, he was forgiven of the debt and released.
SPEAKER_01: When that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe.
SPEAKER_01: See, this fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him.
SPEAKER_01: Have patience with me, and I will pay you.
SPEAKER_01: Sound familiar?
SPEAKER_01: Said the same thing this guy said.
SPEAKER_01: He refused and he went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
SPEAKER_01: And when his fellow servants saw what was taking place, they were greatly distressed.
SPEAKER_01: And they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.
SPEAKER_01: Hear this, beloved.
SPEAKER_01: Then his master, your experience becomes the standard.
SPEAKER_01: Then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
SPEAKER_01: And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?
SPEAKER_01: And in his anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all of his debt.
SPEAKER_01: When I say understand that your experience becomes the standard, then you need to understand what your experience was.
SPEAKER_01: His experience was, I owe$36 billion because I was skimming off the top.
SPEAKER_01: I was cooking the books, and no one figured it out until we hired this new young kid right out of college.
SPEAKER_01: She starts snooping around.
SPEAKER_01: And now my boss knows there's no way I could pay this back.
SPEAKER_01: And then he turns around and forgives me, has pity on me and mercy on me.
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't feel sorry for me.
SPEAKER_01: He feels free in relation to me.
SPEAKER_01: And he forgives the debt and he releases me.
SPEAKER_01: And I go down here and see the guy at Starbucks, and I just start choking him saying, Give me what you owe me.
SPEAKER_01: Because your standard.
SPEAKER_01: Your experience becomes the standard.
SPEAKER_01: So you have to understand today what was your experience of forgiveness?
SPEAKER_01: What happened when Christ forgave you?
SPEAKER_01: It's a great question.
SPEAKER_01: Let me show you from Ephesians chapter 1, verse 7.
SPEAKER_01: This is why we're capable of forgiving other people.
SPEAKER_01: Not because they deserve it, not because it didn't sting, not because we don't feel threatened by the fact that, oh my gosh, if I forgive them, they could do that again.
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01: Here's what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_01: Instead of focusing on the possibility of their behavior, you got to go back and meditate on your experience of the way God forgave you.
SPEAKER_01: Ephesians chapter 1, verse 7.
SPEAKER_01: In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished on us in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
SPEAKER_01: Now, here's some underused words about forgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: Here's the first one: lavished.
SPEAKER_01: Lavished.
SPEAKER_01: It says it, which he uh uh he forgives our sins, our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us.
SPEAKER_01: It's the Greek word perisu, and it means this to exceed a fixed number.
SPEAKER_01: Now, why is that so important?
SPEAKER_01: To lavish grace upon you.
SPEAKER_01: It's to exceed a fixed number.
SPEAKER_01: Because remember Peter's initial question where he says to Jesus, How many times will my brother sin against me and I forgive him?
SPEAKER_01: Seven times?
SPEAKER_01: Because the rabbinical school of thought, the rabbinical, the rabbis, the Jewish rabbis, they taught three times.
SPEAKER_01: You forgive somebody three times, and on the fourth time, you don't have to forgive them.
SPEAKER_01: Picture what a world, what that was the law would be like.
SPEAKER_01: Would you still be married to the person you're married to?
SPEAKER_01: My wife tried to blind me this morning.
SPEAKER_01: I forgave her.
SPEAKER_01: Wretched woman that she is.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that was a rabbinical law.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, three times you forgive, and the fourth.
SPEAKER_01: So Peter's being benevolent.
SPEAKER_01: Peter is saying, you know, Lord, how many times will my brother sinned against me and I forgive him?
SPEAKER_01: And Peter doubles what was commonly understood and adds one to it.
SPEAKER_01: He thinks he's being so noble.
SPEAKER_01: Seven times.
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm pretty awesome.
SPEAKER_01: Seven times?
SPEAKER_01: And Jesus is like, 77 times, I tell you.
SPEAKER_01: And then he puts it in the context of the kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: And then it just gets exponentially worse than that.
SPEAKER_01: You were forgiven for$36 billion debt.
SPEAKER_01: And you're gonna go out here and choke a guy over what he owes you?
SPEAKER_01: Lavished.
SPEAKER_01: All wisdom.
SPEAKER_01: This means he knows what you did.
SPEAKER_01: Some of you are like Frank on the American Pickers.
SPEAKER_01: You like to bundle your sins together so he doesn't know, hey, and then there's this one here when I was on the cruise.
SPEAKER_01: No one knows about that.
SPEAKER_01: It's just bundled all together.
SPEAKER_01: And how much for this?
SPEAKER_01: All wisdom.
SPEAKER_01: He knows what you did and insight.
SPEAKER_01: He knows why you did it.
SPEAKER_01: Here's the part I want you to hear this morning: making known to you, to us the mystery of his will.
SPEAKER_01: Making known to us the mystery of his will.
SPEAKER_01: Why is that a big deal?
SPEAKER_01: Because not only does he forgive you, but he involves you in his plan for the world.
SPEAKER_01: That's what the Bible says.
SPEAKER_01: Which he lavished on us in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of his will according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
SPEAKER_01: Some of you, when you get forgiven, you're like, okay, I'm forgiven, but I'm just gonna go over here and I'm just gonna be on the B team because that's all I deserve.
SPEAKER_01: Anybody in this room understand what I mean when I say B team?
SPEAKER_01: Anybody?
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they don't do this anymore because it hurts people's feelings.
SPEAKER_01: But back when I was in like middle school, we had like, I don't know, 80, 70, some inordinate number of guys come out for seventh grade football.
SPEAKER_01: And this is back when the coaches would say things about your mama, about you.
SPEAKER_01: They would blow the whistle and say, How are you fat kids?
SPEAKER_01: You should go play checkers because you're never gonna see the field.
SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, okay, I'm good.
SPEAKER_01: Uh and so it was, and so we had way too many for one team.
SPEAKER_01: And so they said, We're gonna practice for a week, then we're gonna decide who's on the A team, who's on the B team.
SPEAKER_01: And we said, What's A?
SPEAKER_01: He said, the A team plays every week, the B team only plays if the other team has a B team.
SPEAKER_01: If not, they called them the grass mashers.
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna stand over there and mash grass.
SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, that didn't sound very fun.
SPEAKER_01: So by the grace of God, I made the A-team.
SPEAKER_01: Two, two, two weeks into it, I was goofing off in practice, and the coach got mad at me and put me on the B team.
SPEAKER_01: I remember being with the B team, they didn't even care if they lost, they didn't care.
SPEAKER_01: They were over there eating popcorn on the sidelines.
SPEAKER_01: I was like, what are we doing?
SPEAKER_01: Come on, man, I spoke us.
SPEAKER_01: I spoke.
SPEAKER_01: We're getting that defense, we're gonna get the ball back.
SPEAKER_01: Like, dude, lighten up.
SPEAKER_01: We don't care, we're just the B team.
SPEAKER_01: Because being on the B team had affected the way they think about themselves.
SPEAKER_01: I hated the B team.
SPEAKER_01: I hated the coach.
SPEAKER_01: I walked up to him during the game and said, I'm gonna get you for this.
SPEAKER_01: I know what you drive.
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna cut your tires if you don't put me on the A team.
SPEAKER_01: He said, You cut my tires, I'll beat you half to death.
SPEAKER_01: This is a conversation between the seventh-grade angry kid and the football coach on the sideline.
SPEAKER_01: I said, I know where you live.
SPEAKER_01: And he said, I'm telling you, I'll shoot you.
SPEAKER_01: This is back when the teachers ran the school.
SPEAKER_01: I know some of y'all are kind of like, What?
SPEAKER_01: What?
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: And after the game, he came over to me and put his hand in my little over my shoulder pad and was shake, kind of beating my head, bouncing my head against the locker and said, If there's one dent on my truck, I'm coming for you.
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, How about that A-team, coach?
SPEAKER_01: And he goes, All right, let's go.
SPEAKER_01: So I was back on the A-team.
SPEAKER_01: A lot of you though, when you think, when you sin, you think you just got demoted forever.
SPEAKER_01: And God looks at you on the B-team.
SPEAKER_01: Now, if God thinks, now, by the way, some of you prefer that because you don't expect anything of yourself.
SPEAKER_01: You think it lets you off the hook, it doesn't.
SPEAKER_01: He says right here in Ephesians, he makes known to us the mystery of his will.
SPEAKER_01: Why does God reveal his will to you?
SPEAKER_01: Look at me.
SPEAKER_01: Because he says, I know what you did, I know why you did it, but you're still part of my plan for redeeming the world.
SPEAKER_01: That's why.
SPEAKER_01: That's why you had to understand your experience becomes the standard.
SPEAKER_01: It's not, oh, you've been forgiven, now just forgive.
SPEAKER_01: No, no, it's so much more than that.
SPEAKER_01: He's lavished it on you with all wisdom and insight, and he's made known to you the mystery of his will.
SPEAKER_01: Now, here's the last thing it has to come from the heart.
SPEAKER_01: Look at verse 35.
SPEAKER_01: You still with me?
SPEAKER_01: You still with me behind the mask?
SPEAKER_01: By the way, I see some of you pull your mask down.
SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
SPEAKER_01: Y'all like when I look at you, you put it back up.
SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
SPEAKER_01: Tell that to the CDC.
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, look at verse 35.
SPEAKER_01: So also.
SPEAKER_01: Now, again, remember Jesus doesn't tell stories just to fill the time.
SPEAKER_01: He's not like a children's worker that's going, oh, we got 10 more minutes.
SPEAKER_01: Pastor Neal's going long.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, kids, let's run around the room.
SPEAKER_01: No, he tells a parable for a specific point, and this is it.
SPEAKER_01: So also, my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother.
SPEAKER_01: And here these three words from your heart.
SPEAKER_01: From your heart.
SPEAKER_01: Why is that a big deal?
SPEAKER_01: It's a big deal because this the Jewish mindset, the heart was not the center of emotion.
SPEAKER_01: The bowels were the center of emotion in the Jewish way of thinking.
SPEAKER_01: So when Jesus in Matthew 9 looks out over the city and he's moved with compassion, that means he almost threw up.
SPEAKER_01: He's like, oh, he's just like, oh, I'm so sad for these people.
SPEAKER_01: They don't even know what's coming.
SPEAKER_01: That's the center of emotion.
SPEAKER_01: The heart, on the other hand, was a center of your intellect, your will.
SPEAKER_01: So your intellect made a decision, a decisive action.
SPEAKER_01: You said, I'm going to forgive this person.
SPEAKER_01: Look at me.
SPEAKER_01: Here's why that's important.
SPEAKER_01: You can make a decision to forgive and then have to acknowledge, you know what?
SPEAKER_01: My emotions are going to catch up to the decision that my will made, but I know this is the right decision.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to get there because people come to me and they go, Oh, well, I was told that if I don't just for if I got to forgive and then feel good about it.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, no, you can forgive because I see people in council who are terribly sinned against.
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, man, I cannot just stop feeling it.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, you, you, you, you're, you, because your heart, you make the decision, it's a decision of the will.
SPEAKER_01: And then your emotions, how do you have to you have to take charge of your emotions?
SPEAKER_01: We sing about it.
SPEAKER_01: I won't be ruled by feelings.
SPEAKER_01: And so when he says, every one of you who doesn't forgive from the heart, this is the intellect.
SPEAKER_01: He's teaching that forgiveness is a choice we make.
SPEAKER_01: And again, oftentimes we make that choice to forgive, and our emotions come around slower and later.
SPEAKER_01: You say, Why, man, that I mean, I just they don't forget, they don't deserve it.
SPEAKER_01: Let me just be honest.
SPEAKER_01: I haven't met many people who deserve forgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: Now that sounds terrible at first blush, but you think about it.
SPEAKER_01: I haven't met many people who deserve forgiveness.
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna just talk about deserving.
SPEAKER_01: They don't deserve it.
SPEAKER_01: Matter of fact, they deserve forgiveness about as much as you and I did.
SPEAKER_01: Which is not at all, but because we received it, we now have the capacity to give it.
SPEAKER_01: Look at it.
SPEAKER_01: The Bible never asks you and I to do something we're not capable of doing.
SPEAKER_01: But it does call us to everything we're capable of.
SPEAKER_01: Because we're now in the kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: We're not the king, we don't decide who who gets who gets let out, who gets forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: We're the one that got forgiven.
SPEAKER_01: And so what do we do?
SPEAKER_01: We turn around and we forgive from the heart.
SPEAKER_01: That capacity, look at me, is in you.
SPEAKER_01: That's why this command is for you.
SPEAKER_01: Let's pray together.
SPEAKER_01: If you're a guest, just relax.
SPEAKER_01: We like to teach the Bible and then give you some soul space to think about it.
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna voice a brief prayer.
SPEAKER_01: Clyde will come and just kind of play something over as he may sing something.
SPEAKER_01: There'll be some questions on the screen.
SPEAKER_01: You don't have to try to write them down.
SPEAKER_01: You can just discreetly get your phone out and take a picture.
SPEAKER_01: Uh they just kind of help us think digestively about what we heard today.
SPEAKER_01: Let me voice a prayer.
SPEAKER_01: God, thanks for uh that you're the king and we're the servants.
SPEAKER_01: We don't have to be in charge of who deserves what and who gets what.
SPEAKER_01: We can forgive people and we can release them, we can let them out of that debtor's prison.
SPEAKER_01: And God, we put them in there not because we're punishing them, but we're protecting ourselves.
SPEAKER_01: We've been hurt enough, God, we don't be hurt anymore.
SPEAKER_01: Nobody wants to get hurt anymore.
SPEAKER_01: But more than that, God, we don't want to misrepresent king and kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: And so just woo us, invite us into a bigger context than us and our feelings.
SPEAKER_01: And that's you and the kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: So, Holy Spirit, brood over us for a moment while we just think to the glory of God.
SPEAKER_01: Father, we're mindful today that we've we're the people that owed 36 billion.
SPEAKER_01: We've been cooking the books.
SPEAKER_01: We ain't got a leg to stand on, and when we cried out and asked for mercy, we got it.
SPEAKER_01: And as good as that is, now requires mercy of us.
SPEAKER_01: Our confession, God, is that we're better at receiving mercy than we are at giving mercy.
SPEAKER_01: And so the Bible says things like it says to us today, just to remind us, hey, you represent king and kingdom, not just yourself and your and your and your personal history.
SPEAKER_01: Our lives are lived in a bigger context than just us.
SPEAKER_01: And so we're capable of more because of what we've experienced.
SPEAKER_01: Because you lavished on us with all wisdom and all insight.
SPEAKER_01: You know what and you know why.
SPEAKER_01: And you revealed to us the mystery of your will.
SPEAKER_01: Because you said, Hey, you're not excluded, you're not done, get back over here.
SPEAKER_01: Ain't no B team in the kingdom.
SPEAKER_01: Everybody has a part to play.
SPEAKER_01: And so, Lord, let us respond to whatever we need to respond to in all of that.
SPEAKER_01: Because our experience is not just that we were forgiven, we were included, and that is humbling.
SPEAKER_01: And so, Lord, let us forgive in a way that reminds people hey, you're included.
SPEAKER_01: God has a plan for your life still to this day.
SPEAKER_01: It's not giving up on that.
SPEAKER_01: And so, Lord, uh brood over us as we think and walk this out in the days to come.
SPEAKER_01: We pray in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_01: And everyone said, Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: If you're a guest, I want to say thanks for being part of our service.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, as we begin to crank back up and meet in person.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, if you're if you're watching online or at home or whatever, take the opportunity, if you haven't already, fill out our online visitors card.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but also if you're here in person, uh, there's a little guest card in the seat back pocket in your row.
SPEAKER_01: Grab one of those.
SPEAKER_01: All we ask of you is you just fill that out before you leave.
SPEAKER_01: And on your way out, drop it on these wooden boxes by the door.
SPEAKER_01: That's also where we receive our offering.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and so if today's the day you worship God through obedience or generosity, that's where you would do that as well.
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
SPEAKER_01: Uh, we have a lot of different things going on.
SPEAKER_01: Like I said, we're starting back up.
SPEAKER_01: So let me uh direct your attention to our screens for this week's announcements.
SPEAKER_03: Here's a look at what's happening at Grand Parkway Baptist Church.
SPEAKER_02: Hi, I'm Cam Fraser, the student pastor here at Grand Parkway.
SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Shana Burge, the Girls Student Ministry Associate.
SPEAKER_00: And we wanted to give you a couple updates about some things we have coming up for our fall semester and some other events.
SPEAKER_00: Um, so first and foremost, we have Parent Night coming up this Wednesday, August 19th.
SPEAKER_00: This is just a time for you guys to come and hear about our vision and our heart for the student ministry, as well as give you guys an opportunity to meet the people that will be speaking into the lives of your students.
SPEAKER_00: Um, from small group leaders to us and other volunteers we have.
SPEAKER_00: We'll have coffee and tea and snacks available.
SPEAKER_00: Um, it'll be at 6 o'clock p.m.
SPEAKER_00: And so we look forward to beginning to spend more time with you.
SPEAKER_02: After that on September 9th, we're gonna have our first Wednesday night back in the morning house.
SPEAKER_02: We hope you'll join us there.
SPEAKER_02: Sunday after that on September 30.
SPEAKER_02: We have the first Sunday back in the morning house.
SPEAKER_03: If you are new to the church or you would like someone to pray with you, find a pastor by the front of the stage at the conclusion of our service.
SPEAKER_01: I conclude our service with a spoken blessing.
SPEAKER_01: So if you would stand to your feet, hold your hands out, like someone's given you a gift.
SPEAKER_01: You all deserve a debtor's prison because you owed a debt you could never pay.
SPEAKER_01: And yet the king forgave you and he released you.
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, depart now and forgive and release in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_01: In the name of the Father and the Son, the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
SPEAKER_01: Bless you.