WEBVTT 00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:08.720 This podcast is brought to you by Grand Parkway Baptist Church. 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:12.480 Helping people to know, enjoy, and glorify God. 00:00:12.960 --> 00:00:18.079 For more information about Grand Parkway, visit GrandParkway.org. 00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:22.879 Let's pray together. 00:00:23.199 --> 00:00:28.800 Father, we uh we rejoice today that uh there's understanding that we've expressed in the name of worship. 00:00:28.879 --> 00:00:31.440 Uh there's just a couple of things that we want to acknowledge. 00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:34.000 Uh, one is that all our ways are known to you. 00:00:34.079 --> 00:00:39.520 Uh, that's not like that you're a cop who's hiding behind a billboard trying to catch us speeding, doing something wrong. 00:00:39.679 --> 00:00:46.719 You know, you're a you're a gracious, generous father who's saying, All the things that you don't know, I already know. 00:00:46.880 --> 00:00:48.719 When is school gonna get back to normal? 00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:49.679 You already know. 00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:51.920 When can we stop wearing these stinking masks? 00:00:52.159 --> 00:00:53.039 You already know. 00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:55.600 When is who's gonna be the president? 00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:56.640 You already know. 00:00:56.799 --> 00:01:06.159 So we can stop obsessing about all these things because all of our ways, not just what we've done, we think of that in the negative, like you're trying to catch us and doing wrong. 00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:09.760 But all the things that we aspire to do, and we don't know how they're gonna turn out. 00:01:09.920 --> 00:01:10.799 You already know. 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:18.159 So we acknowledge that, Lord, and we just confess that our the the prayer of our life is that Christ be magnified. 00:01:18.319 --> 00:01:24.799 We say with John the Baptist that you must increase and we must decrease, and we're very okay with that. 00:01:24.959 --> 00:01:27.280 By decrease, we mean get smaller. 00:01:27.439 --> 00:01:40.560 So let us get smaller today because of the teaching from the text, and let let the Holy Spirit let God get bigger in us, in our behavior, not just in our thoughts and our desires, but in our behavior and its outcomes. 00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:42.239 Let Christ be magnified. 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:43.439 This is our prayer, God. 00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:46.719 We prayed in Jesus' name, and everyone said, Amen. 00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:47.120 Amen. 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:50.879 You're gonna see if you got a Bible, I invite you to take it and open up to Matthew chapter 18. 00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:52.239 Matthew chapter 18. 00:01:52.319 --> 00:02:01.120 And uh, we're finishing today a series we've been in all summer long on the parables, these heavenly stories that make a world of difference in our in our present day. 00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:08.960 And I want to talk to you from Matthew 18 this morning about how to forgive people who have hurt you, how to forgive people who have hurt you. 00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:13.439 Uh, and I want to begin with a couple of introductory statements before I ever even read the text. 00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:15.520 A couple of introductory thoughts, and here they are. 00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:22.080 Number one, we've sinned far more grievously against God than anybody could ever sin against us. 00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:26.960 That sounds like an innocuous, like, oh, no big deal, but let me just say it again. 00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:33.199 We have sinned far more grievously against God than anybody could ever sin against what us. 00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:37.439 Here's why: because God by nature is holy and people by nature aren't. 00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:44.719 I'm not saying it's not a big deal when you sin against them, but you have to just hold on to that I have sinned grievously against God. 00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:49.599 Secondly, because of this, we should never outgrow the wonder of forgiveness. 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:55.360 We should never outgrow the wonder of forgiveness. 00:02:55.599 --> 00:02:59.439 Now to the text, Matthew chapter 18, starting verse 21. 00:02:59.599 --> 00:03:05.280 Then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:06.800 As many as seven times? 00:03:06.960 --> 00:03:11.599 And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:16.639 Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:21.039 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:29.360 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:35.280 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. 00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:41.360 And out of his and out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave the debt. 00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:50.159 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe. 00:03:50.400 --> 00:03:55.520 So this fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, Man, have patience with me, and I will pay you. 00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:59.199 He refused, and he went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:06.719 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 00:04:06.879 --> 00:04:13.919 And then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:18.959 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? 00:04:19.199 --> 00:04:24.399 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. 00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:30.160 So also, see, Jesus doesn't just tell stories to fill the time, he tells parables to make a point. 00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:31.279 Here is the point. 00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:38.399 So also, my heavenly Father, will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. 00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:44.160 If you do not forgive your brother from your heart, how to forgive people who have hurt you. 00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:48.879 Now, by the way, the best sermons are the ones that you practice before you preach. 00:04:48.959 --> 00:04:56.720 And so I am, I've practiced the sermon already this morning before I got up here to preach it because last night I rubbed my eye or something and it got irritated. 00:04:56.800 --> 00:04:58.079 Then it started just swelling up. 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:00.480 And I was like, man, this is not good. 00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:04.240 Uh and so this morning I just went to bed because I'm a dude, I ought to be better. 00:05:04.319 --> 00:05:06.560 Uh and so this morning I woke up and it was really swollen. 00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:08.959 And so I said to my wife, Hey, do we have any leftover medicine? 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:10.560 Our kids will get pink eye, they're little kids. 00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:12.319 Any leftover medicine for pink eye? 00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:13.439 She said, We sure do. 00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:16.560 She comes in there and she goes, It says put five drops in each eye. 00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:21.199 So she put five drops in this eye, five drops in that eye, and about five minutes later, she came back. 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:23.759 Oh my gosh, that was supposed to go in your ear. 00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:25.519 That's for an ear infection. 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:30.240 And so all of a sudden I'm starting to lose, I'm starting to lose my vision. 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:32.959 It's starting to, I'm like, come and let me look at you one more time. 00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:33.839 I'm going blind. 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:36.720 And she's like, quick, go, go, wash your eyes down. 00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:39.279 I'm sure you have an eye washing station in your home as well. 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:45.040 And so I got in the shower and held my eyelids open so I could just blast the toxins out of my eyes. 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:47.600 And then she came back and said, Oh, I found something. 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:48.959 This goes in your eyes. 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:53.279 And I said, Here, I'll put it in my eyes after I read the label. 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:57.279 And then she apologized three more times, and I was like, Hey, it's no big deal. 00:05:57.439 --> 00:06:00.160 I'm preaching on forgiveness today, so I forgive you. 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:02.160 Well, it's like I did it on purpose. 00:06:02.399 --> 00:06:04.160 Uh you kind of did. 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:06.160 I mean, you poisoned me. 00:06:06.240 --> 00:06:09.439 I don't have that big of an insurance policy, but nice try, lady, okay? 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:12.399 Now, I joke about that, and my wife is so sensitive. 00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:15.360 My wife will apologize three more times before she goes to bed tonight. 00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:17.199 And I'll try not to make the most of that. 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:20.000 Like, hey, I think I need to lay here, my eyes are really stinging. 00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:23.120 I think I need to lay here in the dark and watch the golf tournament for three hours. 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:27.839 You go in the next room and she's like, oh, not be around you, that's not really punishment. 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:34.000 But anyway, uh, when I say how to forgive people who have hurt you, this is what I mean, okay? 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:36.000 And there's six things I want to say. 00:06:36.160 --> 00:06:38.480 The first three are going to be easy. 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:41.279 The last three, we're gonna get personal, okay? 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:43.040 So don't check out on me, okay? 00:06:43.120 --> 00:06:46.240 Uh, and here's the first thing about how to forgive people who hurt you. 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:48.639 Number one, focus on the part you can control. 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:50.800 Focus on the part that you can control. 00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:51.920 Look at verse 21. 00:06:52.079 --> 00:07:01.279 One of my favorite verses in the entire Bible because it's so raw and so real, it's never in any topical memory system or scripture memorization cards or anything. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:02.319 But listen to this. 00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:06.560 Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me? 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:07.839 Stop right there. 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:10.800 Lord, how often will my brother sin against me? 00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:14.959 When I say focus on the part you can control, that's not the part you can control. 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:16.959 How often will my brother sin against me? 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:17.600 Look at me. 00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:21.199 Here's the answer countless times, more than you can fathom. 00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:24.000 And notice he didn't say a stranger, he says, my brother. 00:07:24.160 --> 00:07:26.240 This is someone that's a part of the Christian community. 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:29.519 This is someone I consider a friend or even a family member. 00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:32.240 How often will my brother sin against me? 00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:34.800 Infinite number of times. 00:07:35.279 --> 00:07:38.639 Comma, and I forgive him. 00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:44.000 When I say focus on the part you can control, what I'm saying is you got to get on the right side of the comma. 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:48.720 Not right as in right or wrong, but right instead of left, like more directional. 00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:50.879 How often will my brother forgive me? 00:07:50.959 --> 00:07:56.959 If you just stay on that side, you'll be overwhelmed, fearful, you'll brace in for what negative thing is gonna happen next. 00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:00.639 You'll seek to accommodate people, to befriend them, to be real nice to them. 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:01.839 And then guess what they'll do? 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:08.480 They'll sin against you again, and you'll start thinking, what's wrong with me that everybody does me wrong? 00:08:08.800 --> 00:08:10.319 You focus on the wrong side. 00:08:10.399 --> 00:08:12.639 You gotta get on the right side of the comma. 00:08:12.800 --> 00:08:16.879 And by the way, here's the answer to that question: why do people keep sinning against me? 00:08:17.040 --> 00:08:24.480 Because they're like the rest of us, they're selfish sinners who, as Isaiah says, they've turned aside and they've all gone to their own way. 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:28.639 This is why our brothers and our sisters sin against us. 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:30.800 So, what is the part that you can control? 00:08:30.959 --> 00:08:35.039 It's the part on the right side of the comma where Peter says, and I forgive him. 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:36.879 And I forgive him. 00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:47.360 You can't control how people are going to treat you, what they're going to say about you, what they're going to do about you, how they're what they're going to comment upon, what they're going to uh their comment about your latest social media post. 00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:49.200 You can't control any of that. 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:52.080 All you can control is your response. 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:59.919 So instead of trying to figure out how many times people sin against you, the text calls us to understand the responsibility of being forgiven. 00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:01.279 Hear that again. 00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:04.399 It's not trying to figure out other motives for people's behavior. 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:12.399 The biblical text today calls us to understand the responsibility of not of forgiveness, the responsibility of being forgiven. 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:16.159 You say, Well, isn't this about how to forgive people who've hurt you? 00:09:16.399 --> 00:09:17.039 Absolutely. 00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:30.080 But the the responsibility, if you think how this calls me to understand the responsibility of forgiveness, then it's this external set of principles that I'm gonna practice, or I'm gonna read a book, or I'm gonna go to a counselor, and they're gonna give me five things to do to forgive. 00:09:30.559 --> 00:09:34.159 Here's what the Bible says: it's the responsibility of being forgiven. 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:39.279 Because the responsibility of being forgiven is much more threatening to my preferences. 00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:49.600 The responsibility of being forgiven for my$36 billion debt is that I turn around and forgive the guy that I see at Starbucks that owes me$600. 00:09:50.159 --> 00:09:53.679 I don't choke him out and go, dude, you owe me now, pay me. 00:09:53.840 --> 00:09:55.200 You've lied to me the past two months. 00:09:55.279 --> 00:09:58.559 I know you've gotten paid since the last time you told a lie. 00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:11.919 No, I I I forgive the responsibility of being forgiven is much more threatening to our preferences because what it means is I now have the capacity and the responsibility to forgive. 00:10:12.159 --> 00:10:14.159 How do I forgive people who hurt me? 00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:16.559 Secondly, you put yourself in a bigger context. 00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:18.080 Hear the text again. 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:22.240 Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? 00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:23.759 As many as seven times. 00:10:23.840 --> 00:10:28.240 And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times. 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:34.559 And then Jesus says, Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wishes to settle accounts with his servants. 00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:43.759 Sometimes asking Jesus a question is like tying up a blowing up a balloon and you don't tie it off, you just let it go, and it goes, it's just all over the room. 00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:53.120 You've got to realize that people would ask Jesus a question, and his response was so out of left field, they were just like, What in the world is he talking about? 00:10:53.279 --> 00:10:54.559 This is a great example. 00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:56.799 Peter wants the letter of the law. 00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:57.919 Lord, give me a number. 00:10:58.080 --> 00:10:59.840 How many times do I have to give my brother? 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:00.559 Seven times? 00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:02.080 Seven times sounds like a good number. 00:11:02.240 --> 00:11:03.360 That's higher than the average. 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:07.039 And Jesus is like, I tell you, seven times, seventy, seventy, seven times. 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:08.799 And then here's what here's what happens. 00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:14.480 Jesus, I mean, excuse me, Peter asks a Peter question and Jesus gives a kingdom answer. 00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:20.080 Only in the context of the kingdom are we capable of what the Bible calls for. 00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:22.559 This is why you have to put yourself in a bigger context. 00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:26.080 If it's just in the context of me, then you keep score. 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:31.440 If it's just in the context of you, it's basically, hey, this is what I deserve, this is what you don't deserve. 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:34.240 But you got to put yourself in the bigger context. 00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:36.480 And by the way, that's not something you have to do. 00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:40.320 If you're a Christian, you've already been brought into the context of the kingdom. 00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:42.320 Colossians chapter 1, verse 13. 00:11:42.559 --> 00:11:51.840 It says, He, Jesus, has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:59.360 And so it's not just being a Christian is not just forgiveness for your sins, it's a posture and a position in the kingdom of God. 00:11:59.519 --> 00:12:01.840 You're no longer in the domain of darkness. 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:10.879 You have been transferred over here into the kingdom of his son, whom he loves, where you have redemption and the forgiveness of sins. 00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:19.759 And so, because of that, now I'm responsible for living and forgiving in such a way that the kingdom of God is represented, experienced, and expanded. 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:21.279 Let me say that again. 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:26.320 Now I'm responsible because I was born by nature in the domain of darkness, okay? 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:29.039 Doing what what everybody else did. 00:12:29.279 --> 00:12:32.879 Did not have the capacity to keep the commands of God. 00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:35.759 But when I became a Christian, I was delivered out of that. 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:37.519 Sin no longer has power over me. 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:43.360 And I was brought into the kingdom of his son, whom he loves and whom I have redemption and the forgiveness of sins. 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:49.679 And now I'm not just responsible for representing me, I'm responsible for representing king and kingdom. 00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:59.120 So people watch me and the way I forgive and the way I treat people, and they're getting an idea of what God is like, the king, and what the Christian life is like, the kingdom. 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:08.639 And so it's more so much more sobering because I'm responsible for living and forgiving in such a way that the king and the kingdom are accurately represented. 00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:12.559 Here's the third thing the text tells us about how do we forgive people who hurt us. 00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:14.240 You have to remember who you are in the story. 00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:21.919 Verse 23 Remember who you are in the story, therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wish to settle accounts with his servants. 00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:23.759 I'm just stop right there. 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:27.679 A king who wishes to settle accounts with his servants. 00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:30.639 There's three things I want to tell you under this third point here. 00:13:30.879 --> 00:13:35.519 And the first one is simply this there's two people mentioned king and servants. 00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:38.080 King and servants. 00:13:38.320 --> 00:13:42.159 The king has rights, the servants have responsibility. 00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:46.000 You gotta you gotta make sure that you understand who you and I are. 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:47.039 We're not the king. 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:48.159 We want to be the king. 00:13:48.320 --> 00:14:02.159 We want to dole out punishment to people we think need to be punished, and we want to withhold forgiveness from those who don't seem uh uh uh overwhelmed enough that we would forgive them, and so we want to withhold it until they do the little dance of forgiveness and they lay down and feel bad. 00:14:02.320 --> 00:14:04.240 Oh, I don't think you're done feeling bad. 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:09.600 And so if you think you're the king, then you're deciding who gets off. 00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:17.279 But if you're the servant, and the Bible says that we all are, it's a whole different ball game. 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:19.360 So remember who you are in the story. 00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:25.519 The first thing I want to say is that there's two people king, rights, servants, responsibilities. 00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:32.480 Second thing I want to say about this is that uh notice that the text also says that he wished to settle accounts with his servants. 00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:34.639 He wished to settle accounts. 00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:38.639 This is not an expression of desire, this is an expression of intent. 00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:42.320 When you're the king, you have no unfulfilled desires. 00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:44.240 It's not an expression of desire. 00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:46.720 Oh, I wish I could settle accounts. 00:14:47.440 --> 00:14:49.600 How many of you in this room don't raise your hand? 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:57.120 But if you have somebody that owes you money in just in a personal relationship or in business, okay, I have a lot of people in my family. 00:14:57.279 --> 00:14:59.039 Every time I get around them, they say the same thing. 00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:03.200 Hey man, let me hold$100, let me hold$50, let me hold$200. 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:04.799 And I say the same thing every time. 00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:05.840 It ain't heavy. 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:07.200 I hold it myself. 00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:09.039 Now, was I always that way? 00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:12.720 No, because I I was like, hey, I want to be a good example to my family. 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:15.120 And so, oh, here's$20, here's$50. 00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:16.399 Oh, you need$200? 00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:17.919 Let me go to the ATM machine. 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:20.320 Because unlike you, I don't carry$200 around. 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:22.399 And so I would go and I would give it to these people. 00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:26.320 And then I realized the next time I came, they just asked for more money. 00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.159 And I would leave angry. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:30.879 And it's not good because when I'm angry, I talk like this. 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:33.440 And my wife's like, hey, babe, don't take it out on me. 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:36.799 And I'm like, Well, why you're my wife, you're supposed to understand. 00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:39.360 And she's like, You ain't got to give them money. 00:15:40.159 --> 00:15:45.120 Because I thought always given to them is how I prove to them that I'm a Christian and I'm a good person. 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:51.120 You probably don't have family like this because I got not all my family, sorry, but a lot of them are. 00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:55.200 And they see me, they mistake kindness for weakness. 00:15:57.440 --> 00:16:04.399 And so when I read in here, and it talks about, oh man, who we are, and we we used to settle accounts. 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:10.240 Every once in a while I think, how do I get back all the money I've loaned to my family over the years? 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:15.360 I just had to give up one day just saying, these people never gonna pay me back. 00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:18.720 And so when I realized they're never gonna pay me back, guess what I did? 00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:20.799 I stopped loaning money to them. 00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:24.480 The record was, hey, I need about 600. 00:16:24.799 --> 00:16:25.200 Can you help me? 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:26.639 Can you help me out? 00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:27.600 No. 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:28.960 No. 00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:29.600 You know what? 00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:35.440 I probably could because I got the Dave Ramsey emergency fund, but your situation's not my emergency. 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:37.039 You think you're better than me. 00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:38.559 No, I'm not better than you. 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:43.440 I just don't have multiple women I gotta pay child support to because I'm an undisciplined man morally. 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:46.960 You want to go there? 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:49.679 Oh, that's that's enough. 00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:51.840 No, the king is not like us. 00:16:52.000 --> 00:17:00.000 And when it says the king wishes to settle accounts, that's not uh a declaration of uh of desire, it's a declaration of intent. 00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:00.720 What do you mean? 00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:04.160 Because the the parable ends and the king settles accounts. 00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:05.200 Why is that a big deal? 00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:05.839 Look at me. 00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:09.359 Here's why it's a big deal: because you and I don't have to. 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.440 We don't have to keep score. 00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:15.759 I don't have to live bitter at my family, my half-brother, because he's always living palm up. 00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:17.359 Just help me get on my feet. 00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:21.279 Man, you've been on your feet 15 times and you still can't stop using, okay? 00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:22.960 Just stop asking. 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:25.920 No, the king's gonna settle accounts. 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.599 So I can say, you know what? 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:28.640 I'm done. 00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:29.920 I don't have to do this. 00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:32.640 I got a wife and kids, I gotta take care of them. 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:40.480 I don't have to be non-discerningly generous to you all to prove that I don't think I'm better than you because that guilt isn't working on a forgiving man anymore. 00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:47.759 The king's gonna settle accounts, and so you can just you can stop trying to be the king and be the servant. 00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:56.960 Here's the last thing I want to say under this point is that the purpose of the parable is not just to teach about forgiveness, but it's to explain how the kingship of God operates in the kingdom of God. 00:17:57.279 --> 00:18:03.839 The parable is not just about forgiveness, it's about how the king operates in the kingdom. 00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:07.200 And the king is going to settle his accounts again. 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:08.480 Here's the fourth thing. 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:10.480 Now we're gonna start getting a little more personal. 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:12.319 We've been we've been skipping rocks. 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:14.400 Now we're gonna throw a boulder in the pond. 00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:18.160 The fourth thing is simply this you how do you forgive people who've hurt you? 00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:20.400 You have to release them as well. 00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:23.039 You have to release them as well. 00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:24.160 Verse 24. 00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:28.079 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. 00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:33.039 Now, I don't want to get in all the details of this, but a talent was not a denomination of money. 00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:35.200 It was a it was a weight of measurement. 00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:37.920 It was between 75 to 100 pounds. 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:42.240 It was what the average man could carry on his back in a pack uh for the day. 00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:48.480 And so 75 to 100 pounds, this cat owed him 10,000 talents. 00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:51.839 And if this was gold, this was either gold or silver or copper. 00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:53.680 That was the three dominant currencies back then. 00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:56.000 Let's just say for the sake of math, it was gold. 00:18:56.160 --> 00:19:00.079 Let's just say for the sake of math, a hundred uh pounds is a talent. 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:02.160 He owned 10,000 talents. 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:10.240 You got to take 100 pounds, 16 ounces a pound, and then multiply that by 10,000, and then multiply that by the current price of gold. 00:19:10.319 --> 00:19:14.640 It's over 36 billion dollars in our current economy. 00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:18.480 This is how unfathomable. 00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:20.880 This this was not a guy, it was not a day laborer. 00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:27.440 This was a servant that worked like for the king, and then and this guy worked like higher up in the government. 00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:34.400 This is the guy that works at the investment fund that skims and scams money for 23 years before anybody finds it out. 00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:40.720 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. 00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:47.119 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and all that he had. 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:49.680 Don't think your sin only affects you. 00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:51.519 And payment be made. 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:52.960 Verse 26. 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:57.759 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me and I will pay you everything. 00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:03.119 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave his debt. 00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:04.720 Here, verse 27 again. 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:12.000 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave the debt. 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:17.279 When I say you have to release them as well, I'm saying forgiveness also involves release. 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:19.839 And we forgive sometimes, but we don't forget. 00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:29.200 And we keep people locked up in this performance, in this prison of performance, where they have to keep acting like they know what a big mistake it was that they made and what a big deal it was. 00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:41.039 And the only thing bigger deal than what you did, that mistake you made, or the way you sinned against me, the only thing bigger than that is the fact that I was such a big person that I chose to forgive you. 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:42.640 Really? 00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:51.759 I know that sounds good, but that's you being king and not servant, not going, oh, you know what, I've been forgiven 36 billion. 00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:54.400 I I don't have a leg to stand on, my man. 00:20:54.559 --> 00:20:57.599 That doesn't mean that doesn't minimize how people sin against you. 00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:01.119 That doesn't say, write welcome on your forehead and just be a doormat. 00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:07.839 It means that you can forgive people and release people because we forgive people, but we don't always release them, release them. 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:10.559 We got them locked up over there in that prison cell. 00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:13.359 It says basically, I forgive you, but I'm watching. 00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:14.799 I remember what you did. 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:15.279 Okay? 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:16.960 Don't kid yourself. 00:21:17.119 --> 00:21:19.599 I remember what you did, and you remember what you did. 00:21:19.839 --> 00:21:22.720 If you're not careful, I got this, I got the keys to the cell right here. 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:25.759 You don't have, you notice you never have to use those keys. 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:26.880 Because here's what happens. 00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:30.319 I see this a lot in relationships where there's unfaithfulness. 00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:35.599 Uh, the person just lives with this cloud of suspicion, and we control them through our unforgiveness. 00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:38.240 So uh I mean I mean we forgive them, we just don't release them. 00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:42.000 Well, here's what happens over time, your partner just says, you know what? 00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:46.640 I'd rather stay locked up in the cell over here than be with you because I don't feel safe there. 00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:53.119 And so not only are you violated in your relationship, but you are isolated in the relationship going forward. 00:21:53.279 --> 00:21:54.400 You're just lonely. 00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:58.960 And it is a prison of your own making because you think I got him locked up. 00:21:59.039 --> 00:21:59.680 Your person are. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.119 I got her locked up. 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:03.759 A man, I got a text this morning after 8 o'clock service. 00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:04.559 Started with this. 00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:08.480 You mean to tell me I have to forgive my wife and just act like it didn't happen? 00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:09.759 Did I say that in the sermon? 00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:10.799 Not at all. 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:11.599 Not at all. 00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:14.880 But I am saying if you forgive, you got to release them. 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:17.599 You just got to set them free. 00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:21.279 This is how you know you release someone. 00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:22.480 Now, I get it. 00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:23.519 I get it. 00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:30.559 It's hard to let them out because if you do, you think, oh, they might do this again, and then I'm going to feel like an absolute fool. 00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:31.279 Absolutely. 00:22:31.440 --> 00:22:32.079 Look at me. 00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:35.920 There is always an element of foolishness to forgiveness. 00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:37.519 There always is. 00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:39.839 We can't scrape that off with a putty knife. 00:22:39.920 --> 00:22:41.680 We can't act like that's not there. 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:46.400 The only thing more foolish than you've forgiven them is God forgiving you. 00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:50.400 That's why we started where we started this morning. 00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:52.559 Here's how you know you've released someone. 00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:55.359 You can see them being someone different than they were to you. 00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:57.920 You can see them being different. 00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:01.759 You can actually envision what happened never happening again. 00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:04.480 Because they don't have to prove themselves. 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:05.759 They can just be themselves. 00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:10.480 Anytime in counseling, people come to me and they say, hey, we're didn't make always the right choices. 00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:12.000 I always ask this question. 00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:15.519 Hey, in your relationship currently, can you just be yourself? 00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:18.240 Or do you feel like you always got to prove yourself? 00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:24.480 And the person that was unfaithful always looks down and is like, oh, that's a tough question. 00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:26.079 Let me say this also. 00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:29.440 Sometimes it's not another person you need to release. 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:32.559 Sometimes it's yourself you need to let out of that prison. 00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:37.599 The hardest person for some of you to forgive, it's not somebody else, it's yourself. 00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:40.400 You're like, I can't believe I did it again. 00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:47.279 I told myself, I went to counseling, I cried, I prayed, I rededicated my life, blah, blah, blah. 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:50.640 How do you forgive someone who's hurt you? 00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:52.880 Here's the fifth thing the Bible tells us this morning. 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:55.599 You understand that your experience becomes the standard. 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:58.480 Your experience becomes the standard. 00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:05.200 Verse 28, when that same servant, after he was released, he was forgiven of the debt and released. 00:24:05.279 --> 00:24:13.519 When that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe. 00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:16.000 See, this fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him. 00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:18.240 Have patience with me, and I will pay you. 00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:19.839 Sound familiar? 00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:22.880 Said the same thing this guy said. 00:24:23.119 --> 00:24:26.160 He refused and he went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:30.160 And when his fellow servants saw what was taking place, they were greatly distressed. 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:33.279 And they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:34.400 Hear this, beloved. 00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:38.000 Then his master, your experience becomes the standard. 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:45.519 Then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:51.680 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? 00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:57.920 And in his anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all of his debt. 00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:04.000 When I say understand that your experience becomes the standard, then you need to understand what your experience was. 00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:08.400 His experience was, I owe$36 billion because I was skimming off the top. 00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:12.960 I was cooking the books, and no one figured it out until we hired this new young kid right out of college. 00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:14.559 She starts snooping around. 00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:18.160