WEBVTT 00:00:01.520 --> 00:00:08.960 This podcast is a ministry of Grand Parkway Baptist Church, helping people know, enjoy, and glorify God. 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:13.919 For more information about Grand Parkway, visit GrandProkway.org. 00:00:14.480 --> 00:00:15.279 Let's pray together. 00:00:15.439 --> 00:00:19.600 Father, we've come, uh, that's a word we don't use a whole lot in our culture, exalt. 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:29.920 And so we've come basically to lift you up a little uh uh a lot higher than we are, because we like to make much of ourselves and we live in a culture that makes much of us. 00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:32.000 Uh it's why social media is so popular. 00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:36.799 We can go manage strangers' impression of us, and they don't even have to know who we really are. 00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:44.960 That we're a bunch of neurotic, fear-based people who struggle with acceptance or whatever our issue is. 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:51.119 And so, Lord, we uh we want to embrace what we sang a few minutes ago when we said, You are our strength and we are weak. 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:52.960 So we're freed up to be weak today. 00:00:53.039 --> 00:01:01.200 We don't have to have it all together, we don't have to be perfect, we don't have to be uh feel superior or better than anybody or anything else. 00:01:01.439 --> 00:01:06.319 We could just be here as we really are, or as we'll talk about today, our true self. 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:10.319 We've come to slay the imposter in us. 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:21.200 That nervous, insecure man or woman that takes over different periods in our life and misrepresents who we are and who Christ died for us to be. 00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:26.719 We're capable of so much more today, and because of the gospel, we can experience so much more. 00:01:26.879 --> 00:01:34.400 And so that's what we ask for today that the fruit of the gospel will be borne out in our lives and the reality of God will be demonstrated in our lips. 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:36.319 We pray this now in Jesus' name. 00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:38.239 And everyone said, Amen. 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:39.200 You can have a seat. 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:44.000 If you got a Bible, I invite you to take it and open up to the New Testament, kind of crack it open in the middle. 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:45.840 If you're not real familiar with the Bible, that's okay. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:52.959 Crack it up into the middle and hang a right, and you'll find uh uh uh after the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, keep going, you'll see first and second Corinthians. 00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:58.159 I'm in 2 Corinthians chapter 5, and we're in a series we're calling, it's a three-part series, we're calling the story. 00:01:58.480 --> 00:02:04.480 The story, because uh we do not, or I do not take for granted that we all understand what the story of Christianity is. 00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:12.879 A lot of people think that it that the story of Christianity is that God's up there in the sky watching you, and when you screw up, he's gonna get you and really just lay the wood to you. 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:15.520 Well, the Bible tells a different story. 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:19.360 The Bible says that God laid the wood to his son Jesus on the cross. 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:22.800 And and when he did that, that his death was purposeful. 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:24.240 It was payment for your sins. 00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:31.360 And so you and it's a relationship with God is now possible, as is forgiveness, which means everything you've ever done in your life. 00:02:31.439 --> 00:02:32.960 And I don't want to assume you've done bad stuff. 00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:34.319 So let me just ask this question. 00:02:34.479 --> 00:02:40.960 How many of you in this room, besides me, my hand is up first, have done something that you pray to God, nobody ever finds out. 00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:42.719 It's so horribly embarrassing. 00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:44.159 Could I see your hand? 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:46.000 Yes. 00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:48.000 Some of you are kind of like, no, I'm good. 00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:48.719 You're liars. 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:50.080 You should have had your hand up. 00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:52.159 You just lied in church, okay? 00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:55.039 And so here's the thing: the story, look at me. 00:02:55.199 --> 00:03:00.479 The story of Christianity is not how you gotta hide that and keep God from finding that out. 00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:01.520 God already knows. 00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:18.560 And so when we talk about the story, uh last week we talked about knowing the story, uh, and we talked about how God is consequential and how because of what Jesus did, that he came, born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on the cross, he was buried, rose again, appeared to people, verifiable, tangible life. 00:03:18.719 --> 00:03:21.439 Not only is God consequential, but belief is possible. 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:26.159 The life of Jesus gives us something to kind of hang our lives on. 00:03:26.319 --> 00:03:29.759 And then the third thing we said last week by way of introduction that the cross is necessary. 00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:34.479 Here's why the cross is necessary, because it's central to the story that God is telling. 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:36.960 It is central to the story that God is telling. 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:41.039 That story is a story of separation, mediation, and reconciliation. 00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:42.080 God is a God. 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:43.120 The Bible says this. 00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:46.000 I said this to somebody this week, and the guy said, Come again. 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:53.439 Uh, because he said, Yeah, I'm not much on spiritual things and you know, the whole God, you know, I'm I'm just, you know, hey, uh, you know, I'm just yeah. 00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:57.039 And I said, Yeah, you got a bad taste in your mouth about whole God and Jesus in church? 00:03:57.199 --> 00:04:00.159 Yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean, just yeah, I don't want to talk about it. 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:01.759 I said, okay, you don't want to talk about it. 00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:02.719 Can I tell you one thing about it? 00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:03.599 Then I'll leave you alone. 00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:04.560 He goes, All right. 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:09.120 What if I told you that God is not watching you counting all your sins? 00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:13.120 Well, that ain't the God I heard about when I was a kid. 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:20.160 And I said, just just what if the God of the Bible is not watching you to count all your sins to keep a record of what a screw up you are? 00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:22.720 And I walked off and he said, Hey, mister, come back. 00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:25.120 And I said, I thought we weren't talking about it. 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:29.519 Well, I mean, I mean, why didn't God count my sins? 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:33.279 Because if we've sinned once, we're guilty of breaking the whole law. 00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:38.240 The Bible establishes that we're sinners, not the degree to which you're sinners. 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:40.480 Some people are really good sinners. 00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:43.680 Have you met my family? 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:46.720 And he says, your family's got sinners in it? 00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:50.000 Oh, yeah, and they all think they're getting to heaven because their brother's a preacher. 00:04:52.079 --> 00:04:58.959 So, oh, see, the story, some of you here today and you don't know the story you got told is not the story that the Bible tells. 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:01.360 And so uh last week we talked about knowing the story. 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:03.360 This week I want to talk to you about living the story. 00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:09.439 Living the story, and I'm gonna read about six or eight verses in the Bible, and I'm gonna focus on one half of a sentence where he says this. 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:15.199 He says that we believe that Christ died for all, and he died for all those who live should no longer live for themselves. 00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:17.680 And I'm gonna talk to you about living the story. 00:05:17.759 --> 00:05:20.800 The first step in living the story is escaping yourself, okay? 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:27.040 Not as not as self-hatred or self-denial or any of that kind of stuff, but just really as just kind of, hey, self-understanding. 00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:31.199 I want to begin reading in 2 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 11, so you get the context. 00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:41.439 This guy named Paul is explaining why he and the people that he's doing life and ministry with, why they live like they do, why they value the things they value and why they love what they love. 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:43.040 He writes these words in verse 11. 00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:47.040 Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others, but what we are is known to God. 00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:49.040 And I hope it is also known to your conscience. 00:05:49.279 --> 00:05:57.920 We are not commending ourselves to you again, but we're giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart. 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:00.800 For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God. 00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:02.800 If we're in our right mind, it is for you. 00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:08.879 For the love of Christ controls us because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, and therefore all died. 00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:10.639 That's the story from last week. 00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:12.399 You don't have to know a lot of the Bible. 00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:19.360 If you can just know and unpack the implications of that one phrase right there, that one has died for all and therefore all died. 00:06:19.439 --> 00:06:22.560 In verse 15 is where I want to just put the plow on the ground this week. 00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:28.959 He says, And he died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves, but for him who for their sake died and was raised. 00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:43.040 The Bible teaches unapologetically that one of the purposes, the major purposes of Jesus' death on the cross, what we call the crucifixion, is that you and I could escape living a life that's based on, motivated by and for ourselves. 00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:53.040 Now, living the story means we ex we escape this ingrained obsession with self, because I see lots of people in counseling who have a great self-image, but no sense of self-worth. 00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:54.240 Let me say that again. 00:06:54.319 --> 00:06:55.519 It's not just to play on words. 00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:58.800 I see a lot of people in counseling who have a great self-image. 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:06.720 I mean, they they outwardly they think a lot of themselves, you think, man, that person's cocky or she's kind of vain or whatever, but they don't have a sense of self-worth. 00:07:06.879 --> 00:07:20.879 Uh if you start on the outside and work in, they look and sound good, but the closer you get to their core identity, away from what they do, what they own, uh to who they are and what it's based on, it's pretty undeveloped, unfamiliar territory. 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:26.319 And so I want us to understand when I talk about escaping self, uh, that involves three things, okay? 00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:30.319 Three statements that I want to make, and I'll talk about them a little bit, and then we'll come back at the end. 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:31.680 I'll I'll be quiet. 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:33.519 Or as I like to say, I'll shut up. 00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:38.639 And everyone said, I heard that and I recognized your voice, Antonio. 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:41.040 First one, and I'll shut up. 00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:41.839 Amen. 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:42.800 Amen. 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:44.240 Oh, yes. 00:07:44.319 --> 00:07:45.680 Uh and here's what we'll do. 00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:46.879 If you're visiting today, just relax. 00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:50.240 We're not gonna dim the lights and hum kumbai God, try to make you feel bad. 00:07:50.399 --> 00:07:52.560 I am not here to create an emotion for you. 00:07:52.720 --> 00:08:02.079 I'm here to invite you to think about some things from a biblical point of view, and then we'll give you some soul space at the end just to think about it and ask yourself, hey, what stood out to me? 00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:08.720 And then I'll speak a blessing over you, and you can get out of here and go eat lunch and take a nap, because that's what God wants you to do on a Sunday. 00:08:08.800 --> 00:08:09.279 Amen? 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:11.680 Oh, now you're paying attention. 00:08:11.839 --> 00:08:15.759 Uh, if we're going to live in the story, we have to escape ourselves, okay? 00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:20.480 Because the Bible says Jesus died, so we would no longer live for ourselves, but for him. 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:21.360 Look at me. 00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:25.519 That does not happen because of effort, that happens because of understanding. 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:29.519 It doesn't happen because you just, man, I'm gonna do it if it kills me. 00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:30.319 It will. 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:37.919 It happens because of understanding, and that produces this winsome person, this new creation the Bible talks about. 00:08:38.080 --> 00:08:39.039 Escaping the self. 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:42.559 First of all, the first thing we gotta do is we've got to believe what is most true about ourselves. 00:08:42.799 --> 00:08:48.240 We gotta believe what is most true about ourselves, and that sounds innocuous and like, please, I'm not even gonna write that down. 00:08:48.399 --> 00:08:50.639 That is the most threatening thing you will ever do. 00:08:51.440 --> 00:08:56.240 That is the most threatening thing, is just to open yourself up to believe what is most true about yourself. 00:08:56.399 --> 00:08:58.799 Let me say that again, and I'll demonstrate in a minute. 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:02.960 That is the most threatening thing you can and will ever do. 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:06.080 Now, this affects the Christian and the non-Christian. 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:08.399 It affects the Christian and the non-Christian. 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:09.360 And you say, What do you mean? 00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:14.960 Well, for the non-Christian who's who's not unwilling to believe what is most true about them, there's no need for change. 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:16.399 There's no need to change. 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:17.120 Why change? 00:09:17.360 --> 00:09:18.720 You know, big deal, I'm good. 00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:19.759 I'm good. 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:20.960 I mean, it's great. 00:09:21.039 --> 00:09:25.919 I had a conversation this past week with a guy, a friend of mine, not a believer, very scientific, very biological. 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:29.039 He's like, well, we're just carbon masses, you know, and blah, blah, blah. 00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:35.600 And by the way, when you talk to people and they say stuff, you need to ask, you need to think two words, origin and extent. 00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:36.960 Origin and extent. 00:09:37.039 --> 00:09:39.200 In other words, origin, where did this come from? 00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:40.639 What do you base this on? 00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:41.519 And extent. 00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:45.279 How far, to what extent are you willing to spool this logic out? 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:54.240 Because he basically said, you know, hey, I'm I'm a good guy, I try my best, and when I die, and I said, okay, can we spool this out to its nth degree to the ultimate conclusion? 00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:57.840 You die, and I said, You don't believe in a God, but do you believe there's gonna be a judgment? 00:09:57.919 --> 00:10:05.120 And he said, Well, I think there's gonna be a judgment, and and and but basically, I mean, God knows we're all gonna, we all did our best, and so we're all gonna get in. 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:08.080 And I said, Okay, if you did your best and you're all gonna get in. 00:10:08.159 --> 00:10:14.799 And if you could get in just on the basis of doing your best, like the last time your wife said you pick your clothes up, did you say, I did my best? 00:10:15.440 --> 00:10:16.559 That's what my kids say. 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.960 When I say clean your room, I go back there, I'm like, what happened? 00:10:19.039 --> 00:10:20.240 Well, I did my best. 00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:22.960 They're 14, okay? 00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:25.360 This cat's like 44. 00:10:25.919 --> 00:10:32.320 And I said, I I I the can I just are you open to the fact that just doing your best isn't gonna get you in? 00:10:32.399 --> 00:10:35.600 Because if doing your best gets you in, why does Jesus have to die? 00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:39.440 And he's like, Well, you got yourself a good point there. 00:10:39.519 --> 00:10:41.440 I mean, I believe Jesus was a good moral teacher. 00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:46.480 Shut up! And he's like, You you can't just blurt stuff out. 00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:47.120 Yes. 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:52.960 I just went at one point, ah, and he's like, Oh, okay, do you have something to say? 00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:56.559 No, no, you have nothing to say, so stop talking. 00:10:56.879 --> 00:10:59.360 Now, if you're visiting today, this is my friend. 00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:00.480 I love this man. 00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:04.159 We fundamentally and radically disagree with each other. 00:11:04.399 --> 00:11:07.919 Now, what's this got to do with me saying you must believe what is most true about ourselves? 00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:13.120 See, for the for the for the non-Christian, unless they embrace what the Bible says, there's no need to change. 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:14.000 That's my friend. 00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:18.960 For the Christian who doesn't believe what is most true about them, there's no means for change. 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:20.399 There's no means for change. 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:27.759 In other words, some of you have been Christians for 22 years and you're about the same person spiritually you were, you know, the week you became a Christian. 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:32.639 Because you for you, the means of change is just determination and effort and trying. 00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:34.240 And oh, I got I watched this podcast. 00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:35.759 Oh, did you get this teaching series? 00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:37.039 It was awesome. 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:40.799 How are you, at your truest core of who you are, how you really change? 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:44.159 See, you got to believe what is most true about yourself. 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:46.720 I said that's the most dangerous, threatening statement. 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:47.919 Uh, I see a person. 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.480 Now, by the way, I refer to people that I see for counseling. 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:54.879 And some of you every once in a come up to me and go, I would never see you for counseling because you would talk about me. 00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:55.679 No, I wouldn't. 00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:56.159 No one. 00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:57.759 These are people I've been seeing for a long time. 00:11:57.919 --> 00:12:00.080 They're like, hey, if my story helps people, you can tell people. 00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:01.840 I'm like, great, we'll we'll see. 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:07.600 I see one man who's single who won't get married because he says, I can't limit myself to one woman. 00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:11.600 Wow, you think a lot of yourself there. 00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:14.159 I mean, are you did you just say that out loud? 00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:16.480 Yeah, man, I got a really strong appetite. 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:18.080 You know what I'm talking about? 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:21.200 Wow, you just said that out loud again. 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:25.759 Oh, are you gagging on how full of yourself you are? 00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:27.279 Call it what you want, man. 00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:29.120 Oh, okay. 00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:33.600 He said to me even one time, he said, Hey, I know how to make the ladies happy. 00:12:34.399 --> 00:12:37.679 And I said, I just kind of threw up in my mouth. 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:41.600 Well, you you shouldn't make fun of me. 00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:42.720 I'm not making fun of you. 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:45.039 I just really just kind of threw up in my mouth. 00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:47.120 And then I told him this, here's the thing. 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:48.320 This is not who you now. 00:12:48.399 --> 00:12:49.039 Here's the worst part. 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:49.600 You ready? 00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:50.399 Look at me. 00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:51.600 He's a Christian. 00:12:53.519 --> 00:12:54.480 Yeah, easy. 00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:54.879 Over here. 00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:55.440 What? 00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:56.000 Yes. 00:12:56.240 --> 00:12:59.200 I mean, the guy could tell you when he got saved, when he got baptized, and blah, blah, blah, blah. 00:12:59.440 --> 00:12:59.919 All this stuff. 00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:02.159 I mean, and and here's the here's the other crazy part. 00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:02.960 I believe him. 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:05.039 He's like, I know Jesus. 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:07.120 I said, So what does Jesus think about this? 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:08.799 I try not to think about it. 00:13:10.799 --> 00:13:12.639 How's that working for you there, Skippy? 00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:16.159 Uh and so I just said to him, I said, hey, here's the deal. 00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:17.679 He said, why don't you judge me? 00:13:17.759 --> 00:13:19.919 Why don't you why don't you get mad at me and yell at me? 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:26.480 Because he grew up in a Pentecostal church where the preacher said he was red-faced and mad every Sunday and he sweated a lot. 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:29.679 And I said, So you want me to scream at you and sweat? 00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:31.600 I don't have the energy for that. 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:32.559 You sin a lot. 00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:34.559 I was sweating myself out. 00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:37.200 He's like, so I mean, what do you think about this? 00:13:37.279 --> 00:13:39.919 I said, I think this is not who you are at its core. 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:41.039 This is not who you are. 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:42.879 So you just enjoy it as long as you can. 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:44.960 Matter of fact, sin tremendously. 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:48.879 And he said, Do your elders know you say these things? 00:13:49.279 --> 00:13:50.320 And I said, I don't know. 00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:52.000 Let's call them and see. 00:13:52.240 --> 00:14:03.759 Because see, here's what I mean when I say the most threatening thing you can do is believe a simple statement like you got to believe in order to escape yourself, you have to believe what is most true about yourself. 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:11.519 So I said to him, Hey, the next time you're hooking up with some willing participant, okay, because he says, We're considering adult, whatever. 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:21.120 The next time you're hooking up with some uh willing participant, I want you to see my big fat head that look, I look like the love child, the pit bull in Uncle Fester, okay? 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:26.000 I want to loom above you, look down on you, and go, This is not who you are. 00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:28.080 And he's like, Well, I doubt that's gonna happen. 00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:28.879 I said, Okay. 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:32.559 About two weeks later, I get an email from him. 00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:34.240 I need to come see you. 00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:35.120 You got any? 00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:36.399 I said, Well, I don't have anything. 00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:37.519 I got I can see you on Thursday. 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:40.639 So he comes around Thursday, sits down, he goes, I hate you. 00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:44.879 And I got up from behind my desk and I walked around. 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:48.559 There's two chairs in front of it, and I sat beside him and I said, Please tell me why. 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:57.600 He goes, you know, I was, you know, me and this girl, and and and and I don't know what happened, but in the midst of it, I just jumped up and said, This is not who I am. 00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:04.399 Say that again? 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:07.519 He said, I mean, I just it was just weird. 00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:10.399 I mean, it was the most unnatural thing. 00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:11.919 Yes. 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:12.879 Yes. 00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:14.080 You know why? 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:16.320 Because you sit, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:18.240 Don't don't put this on me. 00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:26.960 Because the Bible says, and it says later in chapter 5, about verse 17, it says, if any man is in Christ, he's a new creation, old things are passed away, behold, all things become new. 00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:27.600 Look at me. 00:15:27.759 --> 00:15:31.840 Once you taste what is new, you can't find satisfaction in what was old. 00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:36.960 It just, I'm not saying it's not interesting to you, and every once in a while you're like, that would be so much easier. 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:40.000 Sure it would, but that doesn't nourish you anymore. 00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:44.320 It's like wearing your letter jacket back to your 20-year high school reunion. 00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:47.600 Yeah, everyone's laughing at you. 00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:50.399 Hey man, that was a long time ago, and it doesn't fit. 00:15:50.559 --> 00:15:51.519 Take it off. 00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:53.200 No. 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:55.440 So see, it sounds really so and see. 00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:58.080 Here's the thing, and he's kind of like, why don't you get mad at me? 00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:00.159 Why don't you like like my preacher growing up? 00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:01.360 Because here's the thing. 00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:04.159 He thinks God's like his preacher growing up. 00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:08.879 That God's a sweaty guy with a big fat pineapple face going, I'm gonna get you. 00:16:09.600 --> 00:16:11.600 And I said, That's not the God of the Bible. 00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:13.840 You you the guy who it's the God of the Bible. 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:18.879 He says things like this come to me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and you'll find rest for your souls. 00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:20.320 Take my yoke upon you. 00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:22.720 So I come around the desk and sit beside you. 00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:25.519 Because Jesus says, get yoked up with me, okay? 00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:29.200 And learn of me, for I'm gentle and I'm humble in heart. 00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:32.159 Well, I didn't hear about that God growing up. 00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:35.120 I said, Well, that's not my responsibility. 00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:37.279 He said, Why do you tell us that? 00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:46.240 Here's why, because as a Christian, the greatest thing you can give someone is this authentic, transforming, receptive presence that just kind of flavors them. 00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:50.720 Just kind of just wafts over them, just flavors them with the fragrance of God. 00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:54.320 That's why the Bible says we are the aroma of Christ to those who are perishing. 00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:57.519 It's what a man named Henry Nowen called hospitality. 00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:03.039 Now, when I say hospitality, you think about your friends coming to your house, eating off your grill, drinking your beer, okay? 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:04.880 That's not what I'm talking about. 00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:08.160 Some of you are kind of like, Were you at my house yesterday? 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:09.119 No, no. 00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:10.559 Hospitality is this. 00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:14.079 It's this, it it it we think it's a woman word, it's a very manly word. 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:21.119 Hospitality, therefore, means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:26.720 Hospitality is not not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. 00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:29.119 Hear that last part again. 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:30.880 Hospitality is not to change people. 00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:32.640 I often I am not a good counselor. 00:17:32.880 --> 00:17:35.599 Dude, if you have a therapist, go see your therapist because I'm not good. 00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:40.640 Because when you come to see me for the first time, one of the first things I will say is, I do not have the power to change you. 00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:41.920 Let's establish that. 00:17:43.039 --> 00:17:47.519 Now I will make you angry, you will swear at me. 00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:50.559 You won't be you're not the first, and you won't be the last. 00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:57.759 It's not my goal, but I embrace that because you are committed to your false self, and I'm here to call out your true self. 00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:00.160 And guys are like, Yeah, whatever. 00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:02.480 I'm just here because my wife told me I had to come. 00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:07.359 Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. 00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:13.519 That's what I mean when I say, hey, I just you gotta embrace what's what's true about our true ourselves. 00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:16.640 Secondly, we got to turn from our false self to our true self. 00:18:16.960 --> 00:18:20.400 Now, don't check out on me and kind of go, that sounds like psychology. 00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:21.279 No, no, stay with me. 00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:22.240 Let me define it for you. 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:26.000 When I say we must turn from our false self to our true self, you say, What do you mean, false self? 00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:30.720 Let me give you a damn your false self is that person that you revert to when you feel pressure. 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:37.599 Your false self, man, is the guy that manifests himself when someone cuts you off in traffic. 00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:42.000 That's why your wife reaches on and puts a hand on your leg and says, You're a better man than that. 00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:43.759 And you think, No, I'm not. 00:18:44.559 --> 00:18:48.799 Tell you what, we'll pull these trucks over and I'll show you a man you never seen before. 00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:53.440 And your wife's like, I don't care about that, and I just want to show you what I'm capable of, woman. 00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:55.680 That's your false self. 00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:02.480 What I mean when I say our false self, our false self, I'm referring to the person you had to become to survive up to this point. 00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:08.240 The person you had to become in order to survive up to this point, that is your false self. 00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:10.480 Some other people refer to it as your imposture. 00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:15.279 This person is typically marked by mistrust, reactivity, and defensiveness. 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:16.559 Hear it again. 00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:18.240 Some of you are like, Oh, that's my husband. 00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:20.079 Honey, I'm glad you're here today. 00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:24.640 This person is marked, is characterized by mistrust, doesn't trust anybody. 00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:27.200 I don't trust I trust me. 00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:30.240 Reactivity and defensiveness. 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:34.960 And this is usually a response to the difficulties of early childhood and adolescence. 00:19:35.599 --> 00:19:40.880 And really it's kind of evolved and forms around two things. 00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:47.039 Uh, what gets you attention and what allows you to avoid things you you don't know how to face. 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:48.720 It's attention and avoidance. 00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:52.240 So the two real driving factors in this creation of the false self. 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:52.799 What do you mean? 00:19:52.880 --> 00:20:00.079 I see a lady for counseling who's I think she's in her early 40s, late 30s, early 40s, and it is consistently immoral in all our relationships. 00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:03.039 And and we we unpack it and walk it back. 00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:10.960 It started when she went through puberty, and she said, I was the first girl in my friend group to my body to change, and guys noticed me, and I like being noticed. 00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:14.640 And so I continue to pay the price to be noticed. 00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:18.400 And I was like, Oh, whoa. 00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:22.160 That is beautifully self-aware and sad. 00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:24.720 That's what I mean by this false self. 00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:27.839 And I say to her all the time, this is you know, this is not who you are. 00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:30.640 Yeah, but i I I disagree with you, this is who I've always been. 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:32.079 And then she goes, What do you mean? 00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:39.839 This is not who I am, because the Bible says, and I referenced verse 17 of chapter 5 here, the Bible says, if any man is in Christ, he's a new creation. 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:41.279 The old things have passed away. 00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:42.799 Behold, all things have become new. 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:47.279 This this is not who you are because this is the same old thing. 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:54.079 You're you're just continuing to live out who you became when your body changed, and boys said, Oh, yes to you. 00:20:54.799 --> 00:21:00.480 But I'm here to tell you there's a God in the world that says yes to you, and he redeems and forgives all this stuff. 00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:03.599 And she looks at me and says, I wish that were true. 00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:06.000 And I smile and say, It is. 00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:07.200 It is true. 00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:10.480 That's the beauty of Christianity and the truth of the gospel. 00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:13.440 That's what I mean when I say your false self, your true self. 00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:16.960 I mean by that I'm referring to who you were created to be in Christ. 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:20.640 The Bible says it refers to it as a new creation. 00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:23.839 This cannot be earned, it must be received as a gift. 00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:25.839 And this is the message of Christianity. 00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:30.480 Who you've always been can die, and a new you can rise in its place. 00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:33.440 And by the way, God celebrates when this happens. 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:36.480 You don't have to be ashamed of who you've always been. 00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:38.799 Because the Bible's not ashamed or afraid of that. 00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:42.960 But that person can die, that person can go away to never resurface again. 00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:46.960 Oh, every once in a while he'll he he or she will stick her head up and go, Hello. 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:53.440 Like the other day, I heard ACDC singing back in black, and my old self said, Hello. 00:21:56.880 --> 00:21:58.400 Yes, yes. 00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:02.640 I went to high school every Day of the tenth grade, baked out of my gourd. 00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:07.519 Listening to ACDC, Back in Black on A-track. 00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:10.559 You punk kids don't know what that is. 00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:13.119 I'm talking over your head right now. 00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:23.599 And so when he gets to that line and says, let loose from the noose, I'm just like, yeah, that's not me anymore. 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:27.680 That's just, you see, I don't know what you mean. 00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:29.839 That this that this is the message of Christianity. 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:30.319 Yes. 00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:32.880 Who you can be, who you've always been, can die. 00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:37.680 And this new creation, this, what I would say is your true self, not your false self. 00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:43.519 Your false self was created around what you have to do to get attention or to avoid the chaos of your family of origin. 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:47.440 If everything's just all hell's breaking loose, you look around and think, okay, what do I do? 00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:49.039 To not, oh, okay, great. 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:51.920 And you get stuck in being that person, not who you are. 00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:53.359 I see a couple. 00:22:53.519 --> 00:22:56.559 Um he is a uh good man. 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:59.359 Uh he's not a believer, he's not a Christian. 00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:00.240 Uh they come to see me. 00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:01.440 I've been seeing them for three years. 00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:09.119 I see them uh it used to be uh every two weeks, and then it was once a month, and then he got mad and they didn't come back for four months, and then he calls and says, Hey man, can you see us? 00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:09.839 Are you mad at us? 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:11.200 Why are you saying I'm mad at you? 00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:12.480 You're the one that stopped coming to see me. 00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:13.599 I'm not gonna chase you down. 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:16.640 I'm not gonna call you up and say, You haven't been in in a while. 00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:18.480 What? 00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:20.000