WEBVTT 00:00:05.759 --> 00:00:13.359 This podcast is a ministry of Grand Parkway Baptist Church, helping people know, enjoy, and glorify God. 00:00:13.519 --> 00:00:18.320 For more information about Grand Parkway, visit Grandparkway.org. 00:00:21.280 --> 00:00:27.679 Oh Lord, to say dressed in your righteousness alone, faultless to stand before your throne. 00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:30.800 That is a great, great thing to say this morning. 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:37.039 Some of us we put on our church clothes, some of us we fairly felt like we had clothes to get on because we just didn't want to get here this morning. 00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:40.399 Some of us got on flip-flops, some of us got on boots, some of us got on shoes. 00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:44.240 Lord, it doesn't matter because we're all dressed in righteousness today. 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:57.200 So we want to be a people of righteousness that care about your righteousness, that worship you for your righteousness, and that give thanks for the righteousness that you've put on us, that you've put in us, that you put through us. 00:00:57.359 --> 00:00:59.200 That's how the world sees us. 00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:08.000 So, Lord, I pray now that as we gather around your word and we see what it says for us, that the result of it is righteousness. 00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:10.079 We pray this in Jesus' name. 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:12.879 And all God's people said, Amen. 00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:13.840 Amen. 00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:15.439 You can be seated. 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:17.920 Welcome to Grand Parkway. 00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:19.760 My name is Clyde Copeland. 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.359 I'm the worship pastor here. 00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:24.480 And it's my privilege to be with you today behind the pulpit. 00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:31.840 Most Sundays, I'm uh behind a guitar or a piano, but today I get to uh come to you this morning from uh God's Word. 00:01:32.079 --> 00:01:37.760 And uh the title of the sermon uh is The Gospel According to Scorekeepers. 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:44.799 If you're like me, you like to keep score uh against others and sometimes against yourself. 00:01:45.040 --> 00:01:49.280 And so we're gonna be taking a look at uh where I get that from today. 00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:59.280 This kind of came to me after spending the last few weeks and months uh meditating and praying on just one part of one verse uh that comes to us out of 1 Corinthians 13. 00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:05.359 So uh if you have a Bible and you want to turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 13, that's where we'll be today in verse 5. 00:02:05.519 --> 00:02:14.319 Um, most Sundays, the way that we kind of handle preaching here is what we call expository preaching, where we have a book of the Bible that we're working through right now. 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:15.120 It's John. 00:02:15.199 --> 00:02:19.120 Uh we've kind of taken a break from that this summer, and we'll get back into it in the fall. 00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:20.800 Uh, but today's a little bit different. 00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:28.639 Um I've noticed the tendency in my life to dwell on the mistakes of others and to kind of hold a grudge against them when that happens. 00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:34.000 And um, and and and one of the side effects of that is I allow that to control me. 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:34.479 Okay? 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:41.759 Uh when we keep score against others, it's easy uh for us to allow that to build up and to control us. 00:02:41.919 --> 00:02:45.199 And and so I want us to see how the Bible speaks to that today. 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:50.560 Uh so if you have your Bible, I'm gonna be in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, verse 5. 00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:53.599 This won't take long because it's only six words. 00:02:53.840 --> 00:02:58.319 Uh it says this it keeps no record of wrongs. 00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:00.479 That's the sermon. 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:02.159 Now, what's it? 00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:04.080 What? 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:05.520 Love, right? 00:03:05.759 --> 00:03:08.719 This is chapter 13, which is the love chapter, right? 00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:15.039 This is the one you go to a wedding, nine times out of ten, this is what they're gonna be reading, right? 00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:19.120 To this couple that's getting together for marriage in front of everybody else. 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:24.639 Hey, love is patient, love is kind, love does not keep a record of wrongs. 00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:26.639 Who here is married? 00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:30.400 How many record of wrongs have you kept in the span of your marriage? 00:03:30.639 --> 00:03:31.599 Yeah, that's what I thought. 00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:32.960 I'm not the only one. 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:37.439 And I'm reading from the NIV because I think the NIV translates this best. 00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:42.240 You know, the ESV it says uh love is not resentful, and we'll get to what that means here in a little bit as well. 00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:48.479 Uh but the point is that Paul did not write this passage, uh, this chapter of the Bible, for people that are getting married. 00:03:48.639 --> 00:03:53.120 I mean, it certainly applies to people that are getting married, but it applies to us, the church. 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:53.680 Okay? 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:57.039 It applies to everyone in here who is a Christian. 00:03:57.280 --> 00:03:58.400 Because why? 00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:01.919 Paul said that the world is gonna know us by what? 00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:03.039 Our love. 00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:06.159 Or not Paul, Jesus, excuse me. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:07.039 Wrong name. 00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:12.080 Jesus said, You the world will know that you're my disciples by how you love each other. 00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:12.560 Okay? 00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:20.480 And so um when we get into this, uh we want to see that this is one of the things that makes us different from everybody else. 00:04:20.720 --> 00:04:24.240 Now, I said earlier, I'm I'm wired to keep score. 00:04:24.399 --> 00:04:26.160 And I don't mean that necessarily a bad way. 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:29.839 Uh, you know, you need people that keep score, you know, in a game, right? 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:33.040 I used to love to play volleyball uh when I was in college. 00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:34.480 We play a lot of volleyball. 00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:38.639 And one of the problems we kept running into is nobody would keep the score. 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:43.360 And so it would end up, you know, you'd be towards the end of the game and they'd be like, it's 15-14 game point. 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:45.040 And they're like, no, no, it's 13-15. 00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:45.839 We still got it. 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:48.319 So I just said, I'll keep the score. 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:48.720 All right. 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.360 So after every point was scored, I would just call it out out loud. 00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:52.480 It just became second nature. 00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:54.000 And it worked, everybody was happy. 00:04:54.160 --> 00:05:05.839 Well, years later, I was in a tournament uh playing some volleyball, and there was a rule that if you had uh, you know, when you put together your team, you you know, you had a mixture of guys and girls, whatever. 00:05:05.920 --> 00:05:13.279 Uh but if you had a girl on your team, if you hit the ball twice on your side, uh, it couldn't just be all guys. 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:16.399 A girl had to hit it if it got hit a third time to get it back over the net. 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:21.439 Because you know, you had a bunch of 6'1, 6'2 guys, and we're just spiking and pounding it, you know, we don't want to kill anybody. 00:05:21.519 --> 00:05:22.879 So you had to have a girl hit it. 00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:25.279 Well, we played a team of all girls. 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:28.399 Well, they they didn't have to worry about the rule, right? 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:29.439 And they killed us. 00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:30.959 I mean, it was a bloodbath. 00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:36.160 I think we scored maybe two or three points because they didn't have to worry about you know who hit the ball, they just got it back over the net. 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:42.879 Well, the guy who organized the tournament and made the rule later on in the tournament, he faced the all-girls team. 00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:45.439 He changed the rule. 00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:52.000 And I the thought that went through my head is he didn't just cheat, he cheated on me. 00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:53.839 You know, that wasn't fair. 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:55.839 We we we should get to go back. 00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:04.079 And I thought about that today because um, you know, the wrongs that we count the most, the wrongs that we count the hardest, are always the ones that are against us, right? 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:07.680 Not the ones that are against everybody else so much, but the ones that are against us. 00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:16.240 It kind of sounds like this, the thought that goes through my head is, you know, don't just break, don't break the rules, but even more so, don't break my rules, right? 00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:18.079 It gets very personal. 00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:22.800 Um, and so, you know, our rules obviously are not the standard for morality. 00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:30.879 We kind of we we get that from the Bible, and so I want us to look in the Bible and see how what does it speak to about this idea of keeping uh a record of wrongs? 00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:37.920 And so the first thing that comes out of the text uh to today is we don't have all the facts. 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:39.920 We don't have all the facts. 00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:42.800 And that's gonna be these first three things I want to put up here. 00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:46.319 Um we don't have all the facts of any situation. 00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:54.000 When somebody sins against us or we see somebody doing something wrong, we rarely know everything that's going on in the situation. 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:59.040 When you look at the world with how messed up things are, we rarely know all the facts. 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:04.319 But when we get on social media, you put a post up, it's like boom, oh yeah, I think that person knows what they're talking about. 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:07.279 I found I came across this uh tweet from a guy named John Chris. 00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:18.560 He said this uh back in 2008, you go to school, you complete an internship, you finish a residency, you take an entry-level job, you undergo years of training, you publish research, you write a book, you become an expert. 00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:22.879 In 2018, you watch a documentary, you're an expert. 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:24.560 Right? 00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:26.959 Watch Ken Burns on Vietnam. 00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:28.160 You know everything about Vietnam. 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:29.519 You know why we got in and got out. 00:07:29.680 --> 00:07:30.000 No. 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:31.439 That's not the way it works. 00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:40.160 But in our day and age, that's so driven by social media, that's so driven by what we're looking at on a screen, we think we've got it all right. 00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:42.959 We think when we see something, it's automatically true. 00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:43.839 Right? 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:49.439 How many times have you had to change your opinion on something because you found out later, oh yeah, I was wrong about that? 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:50.319 Right? 00:07:52.000 --> 00:08:05.040 One of the problems with our, I call it our hyper information age that we live in is that we are quick to think we've got everything understood in any given moment, that we have all the facts. 00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:08.000 I came across this quote from a guy named Alistair Roberts. 00:08:08.079 --> 00:08:20.319 He said this our use of mobile phones and the internet, it collapses boundaries between social groups and conversations and break down generational, educational, and social distinctions. 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:31.199 We're all brought closer to each other in a way that disguises and is hostile to pronounced differences of competence, authority, and right to honor. 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:41.600 Our media tend to flatten out our social spaces in an egalitarian way, falsely suggesting that all voices merit an equal part in the conversation. 00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:54.720 As conversations that would previously be clearly separated from each other start to eavesdrop upon, to intrude in, and to become entangled with each other, the results can be volatile. 00:08:55.360 --> 00:09:05.759 Now, what this has to do with keeping score is just I'm really pointing out something that is a tendency in a lot of us, and that's to think that everybody's voice is equal. 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:07.360 Guess what? 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:12.399 If you need uh advice on spinal surgery, don't come asking me for my opinion. 00:09:12.480 --> 00:09:12.799 Okay? 00:09:12.960 --> 00:09:14.159 Go see Jeff Wood. 00:09:14.320 --> 00:09:14.720 All right? 00:09:14.879 --> 00:09:18.639 Now, if you need an opinion on music or something about that, great, I'm your guy. 00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:34.639 But the the the point is that we we live in a culture where if you're writing something on a screen or you're reading something on a screen, it's easy to jump to conclusions that A, that person knows what they're talking about, or to do the reverse, to get mad and go, that person has no idea what they're talking about. 00:09:34.879 --> 00:09:39.600 But we really don't know because that's not a good environment to have a conversation. 00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:42.240 And so what we do is we just get hot and angry about it. 00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:43.679 I mean, just look at the last few weeks. 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:44.960 I've been reading your posts. 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:49.360 You all have immigration and the Supreme Court justice, you got all that figured out, right? 00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:51.200 Because you're you're hot about it. 00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:56.320 But but the point is, is what is that really solving other than making us angry at each other? 00:09:56.399 --> 00:10:04.159 That's what I usually see from those kind of conversations, as opposed to sitting somebody down face to face over breakfast and having a conversation. 00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:09.600 That to me is where it usually happens better, and you're able to do what it says in James 1.19. 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:11.519 James says this, take note of this. 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:16.879 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. 00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:21.679 It's hard to do that when you're on social media. 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:29.919 I mean, when you're staring somebody in the face, I'm not saying you don't get angry, sometimes you do, but it does force you to slow down and think before you type, right? 00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:32.639 So that's the first thing that we kind of see here. 00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:42.320 Another aspect of this that when we work to not keep score, what we're doing is we're acknowledging that there's probably more going on than just what we see on the surface. 00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:46.799 And this is this is something that I think we can just end this with with thinking about God Himself. 00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:48.559 What does the Bible say about God? 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:51.279 He does not remember our wrongs against us. 00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:57.120 It says in Psalm 103, as far as the East is from the West, that's how far he's removed his transgressions from us. 00:10:57.279 --> 00:10:59.039 And God does have all the facts. 00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:07.039 God does know everything in the situation, and yet he does not count wrongs against people that have trusted in him through Jesus. 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:09.120 So we need to be aware of that as Christians. 00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:13.519 The second thing we see from the text is that it's a sign of immaturity. 00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:18.960 That when we hold grudges, when we keep score against someone, it's a sign of your immaturity. 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:32.799 And this comes from earlier in the book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 3, Paul says this brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit, but as people who are still worldly, mere infants in Christ. 00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:37.120 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:39.120 Indeed, you were still not ready. 00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:41.440 You are still worldly. 00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:46.000 For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:49.279 Are you not acting like mere humans? 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:51.840 Those last two words get me. 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:54.720 Next time you get in a fight with somebody, just say, You're being a mere human. 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:55.679 Talk to you later. 00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:56.399 You know? 00:11:56.639 --> 00:11:58.639 Nobody says that, but it's true. 00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:05.759 When we allow a grudge to get you know wrapped up in our heart and we hold that against a person, we're just being merely human. 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:07.279 We're not living by the Spirit. 00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:11.039 And what we're doing is we're marking ourselves as spiritually mature. 00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:17.360 My uh youngest daughter, she's pretty much on an all-liquid diet due to some um issues she has with her body. 00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:21.759 There's some diseases that have caused issues with her stomach and the way she processes food through her mouth. 00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:25.840 And so sometimes we have to hook her up and give her a tube feed, but she still drinks a bottle. 00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:27.600 I mean, that's pretty much all she can handle. 00:12:27.679 --> 00:12:31.519 And as a result, uh she's pretty tiny for a two and a half year old. 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:35.039 Um but there's some of us in this room that's the way we are spiritually. 00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:40.320 You know, we are on a spiritual, liquid diet because of this disease that's in us. 00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:43.440 This this fact that we cannot let some wrongs go. 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:50.639 We cannot pursue peace with some people because we think it's easier to hold a grudge against them than it is to actually speak up and have a conversation about it. 00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:53.600 And as a result, we stay spiritually malnourished. 00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:59.279 And so when we act like mere humans, keeping score, we show that we're really not ready for the good food. 00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:03.840 We're really not ready for the rich, rich deep food of biblical Christianity. 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:05.200 We're not ready for the meat. 00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:06.559 We can't stomach it. 00:13:06.720 --> 00:13:07.840 So instead, what do we do? 00:13:08.000 --> 00:13:10.320 We keep ourselves on a spiritual, liquid diet. 00:13:10.639 --> 00:13:12.320 So here's a question for us. 00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:20.080 If there's, I want to think through if there's an area of your life that for years or for the last few months, you're like, man, why am I not experiencing growth in this area? 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:23.679 Maybe one question to ask yourself is is there a grudge I'm holding against someone? 00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:30.720 Is there some scorekeeping that I'm doing that's that's keeping me uh from growing to be who God wants me to be? 00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:37.039 The third thing uh today is is this um it turns a road into a highway. 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:40.320 Y'all are looking at me like, what does that mean? 00:13:40.879 --> 00:13:43.360 Well, it comes from a guy, a guy named Travis Meadows. 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:45.120 He wrote a song called Sideways. 00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:50.399 And in this song, he he describes what he heard at a rehab institution one time. 00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:55.279 He was sitting in on a group session, and this woman was telling her story and why she used drugs. 00:13:55.519 --> 00:14:00.480 And the counselor asked her, you know, what do you feel when when you when you when you do that behavior? 00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:02.879 And she said, I don't feel I don't feel nothing. 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:04.159 I don't feel anything. 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:05.519 I don't want to feel anything. 00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:06.559 That's why I do it. 00:14:06.639 --> 00:14:12.000 Because I'm so angry at what I've been through, what my father's done to me, what my mom did to me, what the world's done to me. 00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:15.600 And the guy nodded his head and he said, Yeah, you you can do that. 00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:20.799 But when you push all that down, it's gonna come out sideways. 00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:23.440 And and he and he wrote that song sideways. 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:29.039 And I thought I could quote the lyrics to you, uh, but since I'm your worship pastor, I might be able to get away with it. 00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:30.000 I thought, can I play it? 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:31.039 Would that be all right? 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:31.759 Okay. 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:41.519 That's very nice of y'all to clap. 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:45.840 They didn't clap in the first service, so it was an awkward transition. 00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:47.840 But that's alright. 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:50.080 I don't mind a little bit of awkward. 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:59.600 So I think it's obvious, especially some of us adults in here, but I know we got some younger kids in here, and um, you know, what's the difference between a road and a highway? 00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:02.639 You know, a highway carries a lot of traffic, right? 00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:06.399 A highway gets you where you want to go a lot quicker. 00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:11.360 A road as a as opposed to a highway that was smaller. 00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:14.320 You got stop signs, you got stoplights, it's got turns. 00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:17.120 It's gotta slow you down a little bit. 00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:27.039 And it's it's a great analogy for what we experience that he talks about in that song and what we're really talking about today of keeping a record of wrongs. 00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:43.120 That's what happens when we keep a record of wrongs, is you allow one thing to start off as a wrong, and it starts off as a little road, and then over time becomes a two-lane highway, and then it's a four-lane highway, and before you know it, you got I-59, you know, going through down to Houston. 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:49.360 And this is personal for me because I've done this in my own life. 00:15:49.759 --> 00:16:08.879 I'm 32 years old, and so half my life ago, um, when I was 16, I was sitting at my dining room table in Martinsville, Indiana, and my mom was explaining to me that my dad had just lost his job because of some bad decisions he had made. 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:10.799 Uh, my dad was bipolar. 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:18.960 For those of you that don't know bipolar, it causes you to do really, really crazy stuff sometimes, the manic side of it, and then it causes you to get really depressed sometimes. 00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:23.519 Uh, and I was just learning about this aspect of my dad at this season in life. 00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:30.720 But um, so yeah, he he had lost his job, and my mom's telling me this, and she's crying, and I'm crying, and we're both holding each other at the kitchen counter. 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:37.919 And I remember just being ticked off, you know, because I thought, hey, dad, how could you do this to us? 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:40.799 You know, we're gonna lose our you know, our source of provision. 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:50.080 My mom kind of became the you know the main breadwinner, but but more than that, I was angry because I felt like my dad had let us down spiritually, as a spiritual leader of our household. 00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:53.759 I felt like I'm doing my dad's job right now by comforting my mom. 00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:54.879 Where's he at? 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:55.759 You know? 00:16:56.480 --> 00:17:03.200 And so what happened, I think, in that moment, and and and this isn't, I didn't, I didn't say this in my head. 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:07.759 It wasn't until years later that I really realized this is what was going on. 00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:13.440 Um, but I made a vow, you know, to myself, really, uh, about my dad. 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:20.880 And I said, I'm not gonna ever allow my dad to hurt me this way again, because my dad's crazy, and I can't trust my crazy dad. 00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:24.160 So as a result of that, I'm gonna protect myself. 00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:25.920 I'm gonna distance myself from him. 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.119 I'll trust my mom. 00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:31.519 Uh I'll I'll tell my mom how I feel, who I am, how I'm growing. 00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:33.920 But my dad's not gonna have any part of that. 00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:40.240 Um and anytime my dad made a decision that I thought was crazy, and he trust me, he made it a lot. 00:17:40.319 --> 00:17:41.839 Uh he did a lot of great things. 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:43.039 Uh, don't get me wrong. 00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:46.559 Uh my dad was a Christian, but he got a lot of things wrong. 00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:51.920 Um, and so anytime he did that, I reserved the right to challenge that decision and to kind of protect myself. 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:56.079 And here's where the road became the highway is I didn't just do it with my dad. 00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:59.279 I did it with any man that was in authority over me. 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:04.079 So, my bosses, you know, other men I looked up to. 00:18:04.319 --> 00:18:10.319 I would I would put all this feeling, all this emotion that I had towards my dad, and guess what? 00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:11.359 It was a highway. 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:15.839 I'm going 80 miles an hour toward him when I had all this feeling that was coming out towards them. 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:19.440 And it reminds me of Hebrews 12, 14 through 15. 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:20.160 This is what it says. 00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:27.279 The author of Hebrews wrote, Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy. 00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:30.640 Without holiness, no one will see the Lord. 00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:40.240 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God, and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:45.359 I had a bitter root that had grown up in my life. 00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:50.079 Some of you, you've had a bitter root that grows up in your life. 00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:51.359 You know what it tastes like. 00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:58.720 You know what that bitterness feels like, and how it controls you and how you relate to other people. 00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:04.319 And in one of the cases in my life, it's just that yeah, that bitter root for me became a highway with my dad. 00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:11.759 And on that highway, I could hide myself, I could protect myself from my dad by justifying all my actions towards him. 00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:15.839 But what I did not do for years was pray for my dad. 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:23.119 I didn't pray for him, I didn't seek him out, um, mostly because I was afraid of what he could do. 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:27.599 Um I would I would say my my thermostat was kind of set on suspicion, you know. 00:19:28.079 --> 00:19:30.640 You're just just suspicious, you don't trust him. 00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:38.000 And then, I don't know, probably about eight years into this behavior, God started to convict me. 00:19:38.319 --> 00:19:40.559 And he said, Clyde, just pray for your dad. 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:42.240 I was like, but what do I pray for? 00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:44.400 You know, I've I feel like I've prayed for him before. 00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:57.680 And he just gave me two things to pray specifically because I started reading about his sickness, and and um there's two things that have been clinically proven to work with people with bipolar disorder, and that's one, getting on the right medication, and two, getting counseling. 00:19:57.759 --> 00:19:58.880 You can't have one without the other. 00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:00.720 They have to both be working together. 00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:02.400 And so I started praying for those two things. 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:04.160 Every time I was on the phone with my dad. 00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:06.160 Dad, have you thought about getting medication? 00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:07.440 You've thought about getting counseling. 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:08.480 You don't know what you're talking about. 00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:09.359 Click. 00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:10.400 I'll try it again. 00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:12.640 Dad, have you thought of can I just pray with you? 00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:13.279 Sure. 00:20:13.519 --> 00:20:16.640 Dad, I want you, I want to pray for you that you get on medication, get on counseling. 00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:17.599 You don't know what you're talking about. 00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:18.480 Click. 00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:20.559 On and on and on. 00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:22.720 Months turned into a year of this. 00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:28.559 And folks, I'm just gonna tell you, God answers prayers because Dad got on medication and got on counseling. 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:29.680 It was amazing. 00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:34.240 And in the last few months of his uh life, God started to repair our relationship. 00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:35.279 He didn't make it perfect. 00:20:35.359 --> 00:20:43.920 I'm not saying he did, you know, everything right, not everything right, but where there was once a highway, God changed that highway. 00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:46.480 He shrunk it down a little bit. 00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:54.720 I'm not saying everything that was in there went away, because trust me, I still have issues with people that are in authority when they disag when I disagree with the way they're doing things. 00:20:54.799 --> 00:20:56.960 And that's a statement about me, not them. 00:20:57.599 --> 00:20:59.599 But uh prayer, prayer works. 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:05.599 And and and one of those things that we'll see later, I'll talk about this, is how keeping score affects our prayer. 00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:08.960 So, uh, which brings us to the fourth thing. 00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:16.640 The fourth thing is uh how keeping score affects our relationship with different people. 00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:21.599 So uh with others, uh with God, uh, and and and then also with ourselves. 00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:23.279 So, first with others. 00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:29.039 Um, when you keep score, one of the things this does is uh it kind of gives you a false sense of security. 00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:32.640 That when somebody's wronged you, you can use that knowledge against them, right? 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:34.079 At the opportune moment. 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:39.920 Uh rarely, when somebody ticks us off or does something wrong against us, do we say something to them in the moment, right? 00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:41.119 Sometimes you do. 00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:42.559 But a lot of times we don't. 00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:44.880 What we do is we go, hmm, all right. 00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:47.359 I'm gonna remember that bringing up at the right time. 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:48.240 Right? 00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:50.640 That's that's what it looks like usually. 00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:55.279 And then we do that once, and then we do it twice, and then it builds up, and it builds up. 00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:59.759 And what we do is we kind of build this sense of justification towards that person that. 00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:03.759 We have the right to feel this way towards them. 00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:08.880 Because we almost always do this inside here. 00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:10.640 We rarely process it outside. 00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:20.880 And that's why going back, I said, you know, I'm using the NIV translation today, but the ESV translates 1 Corinthians 13 5 as love is not resentful. 00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:22.880 And that's what this leads to, really. 00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:29.359 When we keep score against others in our relationships, it leads to resentment. 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:37.920 You know, this is probably nowhere clearer for me than in my own marriage after the birth of our second daughter. 00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:45.359 The thought that went through my head, and husbands and dads, you probably never felt this at all after the birth of a kid. 00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:48.000 But the thought that went through my head was, what about me? 00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:50.160 When's she going to start caring about me? 00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:51.680 That baby's getting all the attention. 00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:52.720 What about me? 00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:57.599 And my poor wife is over there thinking, What about me and the baby? 00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:00.480 Like, what why is he so worried about himself? 00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:05.440 And to really get down more specific, you know, like I said, our daughter has a lot of health issues. 00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:14.640 And for my wife, she doesn't even remember the first few months of her or Mabel Grace, our youngest's life, because it was just so overwhelming learning all this. 00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:17.359 It's she has this, oh she has this, oh, she has this. 00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:21.920 Uh, and learning how to work through the medical system, it was just overwhelming. 00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:34.799 And she had a lot of emotion and feeling that she was not able to express towards me, and I wasn't able to receive because she didn't think I felt all that, because I didn't show the emotion the way she felt it. 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:40.240 Um, and one of the things I had to learn to do was speak my truth, to say how I'm feeling. 00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:43.279 And she had to learn to say to me, here's my truth, here's how I'm feeling. 00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:44.079 And guess what? 00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:46.880 Just because you say the truth doesn't mean the other person's gonna like it. 00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:48.960 So there were a lot of fights that came out of that. 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:50.160 But guess what? 00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:52.319 That's where the peace came from. 00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:54.720 The peace came from the conflict. 00:23:54.960 --> 00:23:57.359 The peace did not come from avoiding it. 00:23:57.599 --> 00:24:03.759 The resentment was gotten away, got got done away with because of the hard conversation. 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:08.559 The second thing we see here is we'll keep score with God. 00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:09.839 We'll keep score with God. 00:24:09.920 --> 00:24:16.960 And a lot of times this comes across as we're frustrated at God because we don't feel like he's come through the way he should, especially when we're fighting sin. 00:24:17.119 --> 00:24:24.079 You know, people love to quote, you know, be killing sin or sin's gonna be killing you, and you can kill sin because God's giving you the Holy Spirit to fight sin with. 00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:34.799 And, you know, I was in the ER the other day and I saw this sign that said, God never gives you more than you can handle, and I just thought, it's terrible theology. 00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:39.440 If God doesn't give you more than he can handle, why are we reading out of this? 00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:47.359 Because all I see is a bunch of people that got stuck in situations where God had to show up and help them with something that they couldn't handle. 00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:53.839 But then I think through that old phrase, how is humility learned through many humiliations? 00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:56.799 How do we overcome temptation? 00:24:57.119 --> 00:24:59.359 By facing many temptations. 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:03.119 God reveals his power when we go through the valley. 00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:03.680 All right? 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:08.640 There's no plan for us to, you know, just sit up on the mountain the whole time and enjoy the victory. 00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:14.240 God takes us through the valley so we can learn what victory really looks like and what victory really means. 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:19.920 And so when we don't understand that, what we do is we tend to view our faith in God as a transaction. 00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:20.559 All right? 00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:24.720 We'll look at God and say, God, if you do this, I'll do this. 00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.240 But what it should be is, God, you have done this. 00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:30.559 I'm gonna respond to who you are. 00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:33.599 That's what faith should look like in the Bible. 00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:41.759 And so what we do when we have this kind of transactional view of God is it this thing, it kills our intimacy with God. 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:44.559 It kills our prayer with God. 00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:52.799 And what we'll do is we'll start looking to other people to meet that need of intimacy and to meet that need of making us happy. 00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:55.680 And then those things will let us down eventually, right? 00:25:55.759 --> 00:26:04.400 And that's why we complain when the sermon wasn't the way we wanted it to sound, or the music wasn't good, or it was too loud, or he didn't do the songs that I wanted him to do, or the children's program. 00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:06.559 They didn't do the activities we wanted to them. 00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:07.279 You know what I'm gonna do? 00:26:07.359 --> 00:26:10.400 I'm gonna go and yelp and leave a bad review about that church. 00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:12.559 Which has happened. 00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:16.000 I just think we live in a review-happy age, don't we? 00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:16.559 You know what? 00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:18.079 What are we gonna start doing next? 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:20.319 You're gonna review that kiss from your wife? 00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:21.039 You know? 00:26:21.279 --> 00:26:23.519 Just help me, please. 00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:28.640 So when we keep score with God, what this leads to is entitlement. 00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:33.920 First thing we saw is that it leads to resentment with others, but what it can lead to with God is entitlement. 00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:36.079 This feeling of, hey God, you owe me. 00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:40.799 Thirdly, uh, we keep score with ourselves. 00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:42.559 Keep score with ourselves. 00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:51.599 When I was a uh student, one of the things my choir teachers kind of drilled into me was you have to be your own worst critic as a musician. 00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:56.160 You're never gonna be the best unless you can be your own worst critic. 00:26:56.400 --> 00:26:56.799 All right? 00:26:57.039 --> 00:27:01.599 So you have to really sit down, listen to yourself, record yourself, pick yourself apart. 00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:04.160 That's how you're gonna get better as a musician. 00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:05.759 You know, on some level, that's true. 00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:08.799 You've got to learn to be honest with yourself and criticize yourself. 00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:13.759 But that had a really funny side effect that I didn't realize until years later, which was this. 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:22.000 Um, when people have criticism about me that I hadn't thought about before, I reserve the right to disagree with it. 00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:24.799 Because I'm my own work best critic. 00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:28.799 Some of you get that. 00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:35.839 The thing is, when we keep score against ourselves, it's really not enough. 00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:40.160 Because if we kept score of our sin, we couldn't keep count. 00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:43.200 And that's why it says God doesn't keep count. 00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:43.680 Why? 00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:45.680 Because he sent his son to die on a cross. 00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:49.680