Unpacking the Impact of Father Figures on Personal Growth and Relationships

What if the presence or absence of a father figure could shape the trajectory of your personal development? Our latest episode offers a deep dive into this compelling question, exploring how father figures, be they direct or symbolic, influence personal growth and relationship dynamics. We bring you candid reflections and personal stories, discussing the evolving cultural depiction of fatherhood through iconic TV dads like Uncle Phil and Carl Winslow. Join us as we unravel the unique contributions fathers provide and speculate on the societal changes that have ushered more fathers into active roles.

We then navigate the complex terrain of relationships, particularly focusing on father-daughter dynamics. These interactions often set the stage for women’s perceptions of men and self-worth. Our conversation unpacks how healthy father-daughter relationships can establish a strong foundation for self-esteem, while unhealthy dynamics may lead to insecurity and other challenges. We also reflect on societal pressures and dating expectations, examining how both men and women can sometimes enter relationships searching for validation due to the absence of a father figure.

Beyond societal stereotypes, we explore the profound emotional depth required for meaningful connections. We challenge the superficial standards often held in dating, advocating for authenticity and vulnerability as keys to lasting relationships. The episode rounds out with an intriguing look at zodiac signs, particularly the balance-seeking nature of Libras and the enigmatic persona of Scorpios, adding a fascinating layer to our discussion on human connections. Whether you're seeking personal insights or cultural reflections, this journey through family dynamics and relationships promises to be both enlightening and thought-provoking.

Transcript

Exploring Impact of Father Figures

Speaker 1 0:05

I was never educated about feelings and , speaking candidly , cared less about who you was or if you was getting mad at me . Cracked jokes on KB . Once I sorted and pissed him off . I kept going Like water under rivers , half frozen . I asked the chick how many months cause her stomach looked like she was pregnant . She was just fat . Told me to go to hell . Inside of a sentence . Showed my offsprings things . Their response showed they detested it . What I wanted for them was best , but within it they was neglecting it . Behind the scenes we were talking about women and growing up without fathers .

Speaker 3 0:56

We had some very interesting point of views . Kat had a couple things to say . Peaches had a couple things to say . Peaches had a couple things to say . Kitty , kitty , I'm sorry , kitty , kitty , cat , kitty , cat Still . So Do you think it's a difference between ? I know One of the things you said was Is it different between a girl For the projects and girls that grew up in the house ? Is the difference between ? I know one of the things you said was the difference between a girl from the projects and girls that grew up in the house . That was one of the things you said . Right , yeah ?

Speaker 4 1:31

With the dad in the house , you got to add that dad piece .

Speaker 3 1:34

Well , yeah , so what do you ? So do you think it's a difference between a girl that grew up with their father and a girl that was out , that didn't grow up with her father I with their father and the girl that was out that didn't grow up with her father ? I personally think it is a difference To me . I think I know women are like , oh you know , I raised my kids and this and that and this , and that I just think the formula to have the most success is having a father evolve .

Speaker 4 2:05

What do you mean ? Like let's define success .

Speaker 3 2:07

When I say success , I'm not saying like career-wise , I'm talking about as a well-rounded individual . But don't get me wrong , it is an individual that grew up without their father . They were well-rounded , but I believe that , if you want it statistically , I think with the father in the home they have a better opportunity to be um around a well-rounded person . What do you think ?

Speaker 4 2:30

I think it's definitely contingent upon factors . What type of father are you absentee father that's present ? Are you an involved father ? There's a lot of factors I'm talking about domestic violence in the home . There's so many things that I'm talking about a father that is there . He's like factors . I'm talking about domestic violence in the home .

Speaker 3 2:45

There's so many things that I'm talking about a father that is there .

Speaker 2 2:47

He's like like I'm like daddy's girl , like you know , when you definitely he's there like bill cosby , but without the rape without the put it pop .

Speaker 3 3:02

Without the put it pop .

Speaker 2 3:02

Because , if you think about it back then , what real role models we had as fathers besides James , who was always angry .

Speaker 3 3:15

Good times Damn .

Speaker 2 3:18

He was always there . But if you think about it , what fathers did we really have ? Well , we had him .

Speaker 3 3:25

We had Red Fox Sanford , had red fox sanford and son sanford and son um , I don't know , because he called him big dummy all the time , but he was still there though he hasn't asked a kid if they were stupid are you stupid ? He turned out all right , yeah yeah , I want to talk about that later , we're gonna , we're gonna . We're gonna talk about sanford , because I got a question about that , but go ahead . Stay on the father , because I got a question , because I always wanted to ask somebody this , but go ahead .

Speaker 2 3:47

And then , um , uncle phil a fresh prince bill cosby without the rape . Yeah , no pill cosby .

Speaker 3 3:57

No pill cosby , who else ? Who else ? We had out there carl winslow . Oh okay , yeah , carl was low . Yep um , who else ?

Speaker 2 4:06

the sad shit is that we could probably count on maybe two hands . How many black fathers we had , I don't know yeah right , we did , wasn't too we ?

Speaker 3 4:15

had pops too , from the waynes brothers oh yeah , yeah , we had him and don't ? We had um , um son . What is um chris ? Something about chris or something like that . Um oh , everybody , everybody hates chris yeah , um , I'm trying to take all the black fathers that's on tv . I'm sure we're missing somebody yeah , we definitely missing some but it's not a lot uh , brandy , what's that moesha ?

Speaker 5 4:39

moesha had a father , yeah , he had the worst fucking hairline , the whole point of this is that we have to sit here and like figure out yeah okay , how many did we have ? Like it's not a normal thing .

Speaker 3 4:53

Yeah right , like that's the problem it's not a normal thing and I hate to say it if I feel like I don't know if it's our in our culture . I think things are changing . You're starting to see a lot of fathers involved .

Speaker 2 5:07

In the last couple years it's different than how it used to be the last 20 years , I would say .

Speaker 3 5:11

It's a little different , but I don't know . I do see a difference in fathers being involved . I don't know what it is , I don't know what do they add to the plate ? It must be some type of formula that a father provides . Know what it is , I don't know what . What do they add to the plate ? What kind of what's the ? Um must be some type of formula that a father provides . What do you think it is ? It has to be something um I know .

Speaker 2 5:31

For me it was . It was a thing of I grew up without my father . He was around , but he wasn't around .

Speaker 3 5:38

But then I had my grandfather .

Speaker 2 5:40

Okay , but my grandfather always made me be like you know what , if I have kids , I know I'm gonna be in their life .

Speaker 3 5:49

Well , you know what we probably should have said , not just fathers I'm having a male figure around because it's , that's the , that's the difference too , because , yeah , I want to see , because you can , a male figure makes a difference , right a grandfather , I think the lack of like when you have women raising sons you want to shield them from everything , and that's not real life , right ?

Speaker 5 6:16

like you can't say this is what life is like , right , you're not always going to have your mom there to protect you , right , you know ? And a mother wants to kind of do all those things they want to like she's nurturing a nurturing , soft life , right , but that's not reality . That's not what they're going to face , right , and it's like you know . We also talked about it before . Women come from an emotional standpoint , right , not come from an emotional standpoint right not sometimes a more like rational , logical , logical approach ?

Speaker 5 6:50

yeah so , and that's how the world functions , right , like it's like real world situations . Sometimes we forget and we want to protect our sons from , but that's not what they need , you know . They need to know real life , like what it's like to be a man , and we can't teach that .

Speaker 4 7:06

It's about that balance . There's value in having a feminine energy and there's value in having a masculine energy .

Speaker 2 7:14

Absolutely , Cause it helps with showing them compassion . You know , um , I don't want to say love , but you know , like , uh , you know your mother , depending on how your mother is and what type of relationship that you have with her . You know , like my mother , I knew that I always wanted to treat women right , because I saw that my mother wasn't necessarily I don't want to say she wasn't treated right , but my mother didn't have a lot of boyfriends .

Speaker 2 7:45

You know it was five of us , so you couldn't just bring no nigga around us . You know , and right , you know . And then I remember when my mother did get married , she married this country nigga named Jimmy . Oh , hold on , I'm going to tell you the story that I tell you about when were you fixing the door ?

Speaker 3 8:07

were you fixing the door ? Yeah , yeah , we got to tell that story , but okay , but um , hold on , what was I just talking about ?

Speaker 2 8:13

you're talking about jimmy . Oh , jimmy , yeah , so my mother met this guy named jimmy . Shit , you know , I think my mother thought maybe you know , having a male figure around , you know , with help with her and her five kids , you know . And um , jimmy was all right at first .

Speaker 5 8:36

My mother got married at first yep , my mother got married .

Speaker 2 8:40

We moved down south , they bought a house together and this nigga lost his fucking mind . Shit To where he tried to fight my mother and shit and my two brothers so my two oldest brothers , leroy and Steven . They beat the shit out of this nigga , damn they should .

Speaker 2 9:04

And that was the last time we ever saw this dude , Yo you know . But she thought having a male figure , that male role model you know , would help . You know , help her with her kids , Right , you know , I'm not saying well , I don't want to say that's what she thought , but I'm gonna assume that's probably what she ?

Speaker 2 9:28

thought I'm sure it was part of her decision . Right , yeah , you know , because you don't bring people around your kids unless you know . You feel that you're gonna be with them and then when you get married to them , you know , it's like all right , we're family , you know , but this nigga . We moved down south to fucking augusta , georgia , and this nigga lost his mind like what we did , what happened , you think , because of all the kids .

Speaker 3 9:52

What like what ?

Speaker 5 9:53

or he thought he was home in a place . Where is he ?

Speaker 3 9:56

from that area he took her out of from georgia .

Speaker 2 9:58

He took her out of her comfort zone brought her to his comfort zone and showed his ass but you know what too , my family's from georgia too , like my family's from Augusta , I think his family was probably from another part of Georgia I don't know if it was Gwinnett or I forgot what part he was from , but you know , but yeah , and that shit was just yeah , that shit ain't last a year .

Speaker 3 10:25

Shit . I mean , you look at all these like sometimes you , you drive up these different places where you know it's like um , like heavy with uh prostitutes and you be like , damn , then do need . If these girls had fathers in their lives , do you think they'd be on this corner ? I'm , I'm only maybe , I'm just basing off of how I look at my girls . I'm like I try to give them . I'm .

Speaker 3 10:47

I'm a firm believer when they say you give your girls everything . So when a nigga come around they don't want for nothing . That's what I do . I try to kill them with stuff . And it seemed to be working . No matter what those niggas come up with , they be like well , my dad could give me that . So I'm starting to see it . Now , as they get older , I'm like , oh , dad , he wanted to do X and Y Z , but you gave me that already . Like , so I want to give them so much that they they were like , okay , I don't really need it . It's like you raising the bar right , like you gotta like , come like hard if you really really really want them . Like , cause I already could give them that , so they not gonna be laying up in your bed something . Yeah , and I I really believe that if you give them , you give them shower them with so much stuff that they they raise the bar to all these other niggas I don't .

Speaker 4 11:31

I don't think it has to do with stuff . I think it's more than just stuff . I think it's the it's , it's the love and attention . Well , that's what I mean when I say what I ?

Speaker 3 11:44

that's what I mean . I don't mean like materialistic yeah , because materialistic things is no I just I , just I feel like it , but it's the the way that you know the presentation I think raising the bar was a good analogy .

Speaker 5 11:55

Just raise the bar like in general , right , like you care enough to provide those things for them , and then it's not just gonna be .

Speaker 3 12:01

He didn't gonna be just coming with any old bullshit and be like , okay , it's gonna pass . So I I really believe that's , you know , and I'm not sure that I'm not .

Speaker 5 12:10

I'm not saying that a single mother can't do that , but it hits a little different um but it's also when you have a situation like single parents right , they have the stress of being two people , right , um , and that takes away from some of the nurturing that they can provide . You know what I mean . A lot of times , when you have single-parent homes and you have the children , they're self-sufficient , they're tough , they're more resilient than other people and that's due to the fact that they were built that way . So that becomes a tough exterior and it's harder for people to break into that .

Speaker 3 12:48

I mean . So what do y'all females think about fathers being involved ?

Speaker 5 12:53

Well , I definitely think that there is a benefit if it's a healthy situation , right , if you have someone who's present and they're providing , like you know , healthy things like support and guidance , and you know this is what you should look for in a man . You know healthy things like support and guidance and , um , you know this is what you should look for in a man . You know advice , just to be there , right , like that's the first man that you love . You know when and you're setting the standard , you're setting that bar so that when these scruffy niggas like what it's a , it's a meme , right , and they're like , I do all these things for my daughter , daughter . So when this dusty nigga comes along and tries to take her to miami , she's not impressed .

Speaker 5 13:31

She's not impressed , right I mean that's viral so , but it says a point , right , like you're trying to put in place some of these things with your daughters so that they know their value , they know their worth , right , they're not just willing to accept olive garden let me ask you .

Navigating Relationships and Expectations

Speaker 2 13:54

Let me ask you something . When you say that , when you say that , um , a woman is a woman , her father is the first man that she falls in love with . So what if her father is a dusty nigga ?

Speaker 5 14:13

A healthy one . She did put in a disclaimer of healthy Because fathers can be womanizers to their daughters .

Speaker 4 14:21

And then that's the other question Does a daughter ?

Speaker 5 14:25

want to date a dusty womanized nigga . So you mean a daughter want to update in a dusty womanized ass nigga .

Speaker 3 14:29

So you mean a father that presents himself as a womanized to his daughter ? So she's actually seeing her father .

Speaker 5 14:35

No , I'm saying what I was saying . The disclaimer I made was if it's a healthy relationship with the children .

Speaker 4 14:43

So , believe it or not , fathers have daughters and they expect them to call them like they . Women would like a million times to do things like that . Are you going to show up to my game and call them constantly and text them ? That's like a cycle . Right there You're teaching them how to interact with other men . So she's calling you nonstop . What is she going to do when she get into a relationship ?

Speaker 5 15:06

She's going to call that man nonstop and he's not going to respond and he's not going to show up and he's going to be emotionally unavailable because that's what you're doing but in a healthy relationship where the father just shows up because that's his obligation , right , the the daughter gets used to that type of behavior and she thinks that men should just show up for her Right , and that's setting the bar and that's her knowing her worth and her value Right , and that's where the worth and the value comes from .

Speaker 5 15:34

If you don't have someone who's there to tell you certain things about men and how they behave and how you should react as a , as a woman , towards them , that's where you get the promiscuity from . That's where you get a lot of these behaviors that people talk about Like , okay , I must know that she doesn't have a father Right Some of the stuff we see on TV , things like that but yeah , it's definitely beneficial , do you think some ?

Speaker 2 16:00

men are predatorial . Knowing that she doesn't have a father .

Speaker 5 16:04

Yes , of course .

Speaker 2 16:05

To where we look for shit like that . Yes , you know , I know , guys , that she doesn't have a father . Yes , of course , to where like we look for shit like that .

Speaker 5 16:08

Yes , you know , I know guys that do that it's , I think , but you have to have a low self-esteem to do that . You have to be a beta male to do that .

Speaker 3 16:17

Yeah , you gotta be like a bottom feeder , correct ?

Speaker 5 16:19

like , if you know that you have to take advantage of someone to be on top , then you have things that you have to deal with yeah , it sounds like you got your own daddy issues right or mommy issues . Mommy issues , daddy issues .

Speaker 4 16:32

There's some issues somewhere along the line right , I know there's definitely men that do that anytime anyone is navigating from a place of trying to manipulate people . There's some issues , even women , when women are looking for men to make them feel like they're like I think there was something going on with , like some celebrity women and they're dating men that they feel like you know , they'll say like , well , why was he cheating on her ? She's like the catch . Like whenever women are dating men and they kind of feel like I'm the catch and you should not be cheating on me , and things like that . Like there they're operating from a place where they feel they have to find someone where they they kind of are the the top dog or , in their mind , the top dog that they're not going to cheat on , and they know that they should be dating someone else or seeking someone else , but they're they're kind of dealing with someone at a lower level I hate to say it like that , but someone a little lower for purposes .

Speaker 5 17:34

They always say , like when you're dating someone that you should date less than like to to have an easier life but because they would adore you more than you adore them but that that's functioning from a very low place , right , because that person is , you're never going to be equally yoke right , you're manipulative too .

Speaker 4 18:00

Yes , absolutely women are very manipulative when they are dating with people and they say well , why did you cheat on me ? I'm the whole package , they always say .

Speaker 5 18:09

if you look at Beyonce or someone like her , they said there's always one woman . You look at her and everybody adores her . There's one man on this earth that can't stand to see her coming .

Speaker 3 18:22

I definitely agree with that . I definitely agree with that . Look at Holly Berry Right , berry right okay , you see the track record oh yeah , well , well , you think about it because , well , you , if you , you know how you go out in the stores , you see this like it'd be , like this crazy looking ugly guy , but you have the beautiful woman that's because nobody else want to fuck with her exactly , exactly , or is she doing what you're saying ? She's , um , she's a level , a couple of levels now .

Speaker 4 18:48

Yeah , because if she's not willing to really date . I forgot who it was , but they were saying sometimes women are afraid to really date in the I guess I don't want to say bracket , but the people that they should be dating , because then they actually have to do things and they actually have to have to perform . Well , I don't think that that's Not perform , but there's more vulnerability there .

Speaker 5 19:17

Well , I think nowadays , looking at what's actually happening with the dating pool , I think it's a different situation . I think that 90% of the women are trying to get with that 1% of man .

Speaker 5 19:28

We have this whole thing of the six feet six inches six figures and I think that's fucking up the whole dating game for people , because if you have 90% of the women that are focused on these few men , like there's so many men out here and I think we talked about it before that just aren't seeing women , they're not seeing any type of dating , they're not seeing anything .

Speaker 5 19:51

I think it was a statistic that we looked up , actually on one of the podcasts oh yeah like I want to say , 83 percent of the men that are currently dating or single haven't had sex in like one or two years hold up who the men or the women yes the men wow , oh , women could get sex , but women could get it , but they're all fucking the same guy right .

Speaker 5 20:11

And then they get upset when it's like why aren't you ? Like , babe , you're a pick of the , you're monday , right ? You know what I'm saying ? Like if you're , if everyone's going for the same guy , there's got to be a rotation for him that's not even any .

Speaker 3 20:25

Even so , that's , that's one . That's true that everybody's going for the same guy and then , um , statistically women outnumbered guys anyway I'll take six inches

Exploring Emotional Depth in Relationships

Speaker 3 20:35

or more . I don't need six figures I'll take nine , so you would get the six inches , the six inch dick I said I'll take nine inches . Thank you nine inches , but it's okay , but you don't .

Speaker 5 20:46

Kate're okay without the six-finger thing .

Speaker 3 20:48

I make my own money .

Speaker 2 20:50

It makes sense . I'll take nine inches and make a workout at McDonald's .

Speaker 5 20:55

Maybe as long as you've got goals .

Speaker 4 20:58

We can work it out With your aspirations .

Speaker 3 21:01

So you get the nine inches , though that leaves you with what ?

Speaker 5 21:05

That leaves me with nine inches . What's the good ?

Speaker 4 21:08

potential she got potential .

Speaker 5 21:10

She said he got goals that leaves him all up in my guts . And then what happens after that ?

Speaker 4 21:19

he got goals . We can work on that potential .

Speaker 3 21:23

I don't believe that y'all say that shit .

Speaker 5 21:24

I talk that shit because once the dick is going , once you're done with the dick , you're like , okay , what now ? Because ?

Speaker 2 21:31

good dick only lasts for so long . Yeah , it does .

Speaker 5 21:36

It really does what I'm saying is right , but we're talking about the six things , the six feet , the six . You know , whatever that small percentage . I'm joking . You know things . The six feet , six , you know .

Speaker 5 21:46

Whatever that small percentage , like I'm joking you know for like you're joking , but you're serious , no but I I don't six pack , whatever the fuck the six things are that they're arguing about these days . I mean , it's true , if you talk to most women , they're like I need someone I can look up to , right . If they're like I need someone I can look up to , right , they're six feet . I need someone who's tall . I need minimum six inches , when you know your cervix only holds four or five . But well you know that's scientific .

Speaker 4 22:14

Go ahead , I hear you .

Speaker 5 22:16

Wait what . Go ahead , but you know to be aroused and to be able to do something . I feel you . I'm just going like wait what or ?

Speaker 3 22:28

six figures .

Speaker 5 22:29

You know what I'm saying , like you , that's not . That's an anomaly . Most men don't make six figures .

Speaker 4 22:36

Most people don't make six figures , yeah so what I've come to the conclusion with myself and just like learning myself um , I think I have . It is more about the connection , because I feel like I don't fit into society's standards for dating and stuff like that , like I don't . I don't really like to play games , I'm very like upfront about things and I'm not gonna enjoy sex with you unless I have some type of connection that's beyond sexual do you think that scares men off at first ?

Speaker 4 23:11

I think I'm a lot , I think I'm a lot to to take in definitely no pun intended , so can you respond .

Speaker 3 23:25

Can you like go further ?

Speaker 2 23:28

do you think that maybe possibly scares off a potential life mate because you could be a lot to deal with ? Like , are you ?

Speaker 4 23:37

well , you're not my life if you're scared off , you gotta take , you gotta be able to accept all of me . I'm an emotionally deep person . I've accepted that . I think that I've struggled with making true connections and being with people because they haven't had the emotional depth that I've had and been able to handle where I'm at . Like I love hard , I feel like there's no compromise . You can't compromise what it is , what it is like . You either can handle me or you can't . So .

Speaker 2 24:10

I think . I think that kind of scares people off , though , too .

Speaker 4 24:13

That's fine . If you're scared off , you're not . For me , that's what it is , so . So it has nothing to do with six figures , six inches and things like that . It's just an emotional connection . If you can't meet that , then that's really . We're just not compatible .

Speaker 2 24:30

So you're saying that a guy has to be willing to deal with you emotionally more so than anything . That's how you know that that's your guy , like if he's willing to put up with a lot . No , it's not even put up with .

Speaker 4 24:55

don't say it like that I only said that because she said I'm a lot . So from a man's point of view , no , like a lot , saying like I may not , I'm not gonna come off to everybody the same way , so I may to you be seem like , oh you , you just a lot , but somebody else me like , yeah , I could you know this is nothing to me .

Speaker 4 25:12

I could tame this rattlesnake yeah like all right , it's cakewalk , you know what I'm saying ? Um , it doesn't mean that I'm just really a lie . I'm not saying like I'm wilding out and I'm acting extra and stuff like that . It's just that I feel like I'm an emotional person and in most scenarios I am suppressing a lot of my emotions and kind of navigating from a place that's not authentic to me and it doesn't work with other men because I'm not being my authentic self . So I never feel like I'm being seen and able to be vulnerable . But I feel like the person who's for me . I can be vulnerable and be seen and have these emotions and be this person without them saying like yo , you're doing too much , and not saying that I'm gonna be extra my emotions , but it's just they're coming from a different place .

Speaker 5 26:04

Have you ever had a situation where you felt that , like you had a connection with someone and you were able to be your authentic self ?

Speaker 4 26:10

Yes , and it's scary as fuck .

Speaker 5 26:14

So what ? So what happened ?

Speaker 4 26:16

I ran away from him .

Speaker 1 26:18

Wait what , what ?

Speaker 2 26:23

Let me ask you this Hold on , we're going to come back to that . But let me ask you this hold on , we're gonna come back to that . But let me ask you this what if he was your twin ? What if he was an emotionally person to where ?

Speaker 4 26:35

he is I . I could sense that , yes , but it's scary because to be seen like people talk about being vulnerable and being naked , like when you meet somebody that actually sees you , that shit is scary because it's like whoa , wait a minute , what am I doing ?

Speaker 5 26:56

But how do I and you act out ? Yes , but if you have that person that sees you and they're still willing to accept all this shit that you got going on , is it ? And you know that you have that person .

Speaker 2 27:08

But is it a thing of them showing you a mirror to yourself , and that's what scares you absolutely , but it's you don't want to deal with a male version of you .

Speaker 4 27:18

No , I do , I'm , I'm for it so why run ? Because if you spent all this time not seeing or feeling accepted and stuff , if I met a me and a man , I'd be like bitch . Yes , honey , well , I'm a little stubborn .

Speaker 2 27:37

So it's almost like asking the question like would you date yourself ?

Speaker 4 27:43

and yes it is . That is scary because I wasn't the and it's not . It's like dating yourself , but it's also the worst , the worst part of yourself , right ? So , like you , seeing yourself is the good and the bad . So now , yes , because I'm gonna to love myself , like I love this person and honestly I can say like when I see this person , I accept this person , flaws and all , and that's scary to me , because I accept you unconditionally , like all your shit is like I'm okay with it .

Speaker 2 28:20

There was . You guys ever watch Reasonable Doubt ?

Speaker 4 28:24

Oh , I'm watching that now oh yeah'm watching that now Okay , oh yeah , absolutely Okay .

Speaker 2 28:28

Now remember the part when she was talking with the therapist and he asked her about the question . He said had you ever had anybody to ?

Speaker 4 28:41

he was talking about unconditional .

Speaker 2 28:43

Yes , I didn't want to say it because she didn't but , he asked her have you ever loved anybody unconditional ?

Speaker 2 28:53

And then he broke down what unconditional was to her . And when he broke that down to her she was like damn , you know , like I've never been loved like that before , you know , and like I think nowadays to find someone that's going to love you unconditional , that's like fucking Bigfoot riding a unicorn I was just about to say a unicorn . You know what I'm saying ? It's in a rarity , you know what I'm saying . It's it's , it's in a rarity , you know . It's not saying it doesn't happen or whatever , but I think nowadays everything has conditions Absolutely but .

Speaker 5 29:36

I also think that sometimes you do find that and you're backing away from it or you don't know how to deal with it .

Speaker 1 29:43

I'm not saying you particular but in general , that you may find that or you don't know how to deal with it .

Speaker 5 29:46

I'm not saying you particular , but in general , that you may find that , but you don't know how to deal with it , or you don't know how to react to it , so it you don't pursue it right , like I'm sure that there is someone that can love you unconditionally , but you have to be willing to accept it as well so even going back to reasonable doubt , right , I don't think that jacks really acknowledged that she was being loved unconditionally by her husband , because he definitely loved her unconditionally , yes , but she didn't see that yes , she didn't .

Speaker 2 30:20

It was pointed out to her by someone else yes , exactly .

Speaker 4 30:23

Yeah , it's scary because she was running from that . Yeah , definitely didn't really like accept it , but yeah it's . It's a scary place to be in . I would say . I mean for me even to think of loving someone unconditionally . The only person that I could think of loving unconditionally is my child , which I've , they've come from .

Speaker 5 30:44

We established yes , exactly so when you start to think of other people .

Speaker 4 30:50

How did you get here , like , how did you get in the same space as the person that I carried for nine months ?

Speaker 2 30:57

no , that's scary but don't you think you should hold on to that ? Absolutely only because it took you so long to find .

Speaker 4 31:07

Absolutely , absolutely .

Speaker 2 31:09

Not so long .

Speaker 4 31:10

No , it took long enough .

Speaker 2 31:12

Because , well , yeah , also because you was also finding out who you are and you're still finding out who you are , absolutely . I'm 54 . And this is shit that I did 10 years ago I know I wouldn't do now . Shit that I did two years ago , I know I wouldn't do now . So you're still always learning yourself and you know growth , you're still evolving , but now I notice , as I'm getting older , it's just a lot of shit that I won't deal with , right ? Shit that I used to deal with .

Speaker 5 31:49

I used to tolerate yeah .

Speaker 2 31:52

Or like you said last week .

Speaker 5 31:57

Yeah , no for real and you just see , because it's almost like sometimes you see your worth as you grow Right Like that's not worth my time , that's not worth my energy . It's almost like sometimes you see your worth as you grow right Like that's not worth my time , that's not worth my energy and you've got to move on from that . Perfect scenario you quiet , would you fall asleep ?

Speaker 3 32:21

No , no , I mean , I'm just absorbing all .

Speaker 5 32:24

Tell us why you wouldn't date yourself .

Speaker 3 32:27

I believe in yin and yang . Me too . In order for me to be able to function , it has to be somebody completely opposite of me , because me and me it just don't mix . I'm a Libra , so I go .

Speaker 5 32:41

That means you lie a lot . Why , libra , I'm not even going to tell you .

Speaker 4 32:44

Libras love to lie . I'm not even going to tell you . Libras love to lie .

Speaker 3 32:49

But I'm going by balance . I'm going by the balance , a balance of days .

Speaker 2 32:52

Hold on what are your signs .

Speaker 4 32:54

I'm an Aquarius , I'm a Capricorn oh shit , wow , I'm an Earth sign . I'm sign . I'm a water , I'm a virgo , oh shit the virgin .

Speaker 2 33:08

Yes , yep , that's right , that's right , but it's , it's , yeah you said shit like that .

Speaker 4 33:15

I mean , gosh , is that bad aquarius in the camp ?

Speaker 5 33:18

uh , capricorn no , aquarius is good . We chill until you fuck with us . Then we act like you don't exist y'all wild cards .

Speaker 4 33:26

I love aquarius's .

Speaker 2 33:27

I got so many aquarius's in my life yeah , and capricorns , like you said , love hearts , so my wife is a capricorn . Yeah , when's your birthday ? January 13th how's this january 4th ? What's this today ?

Speaker 4 33:43

oh wow , you over here doing a podcast . Happy birthday you . This is , this is not good . You over here doing a podcast on a birthday . I already know that this is not going .

Speaker 2 33:54

This is not going to help him but no , she already know that I'm doing a podcast here , so she's at my place , so yeah we're good , nice , nice yeah . So yeah , we're good , Nice , nice , yeah yeah . But like you were saying , like yeah , I wouldn't , I definitely like yin and yang , like you were saying , I need , I have to .

Speaker 3 34:11

I know me , and it's two me's dealing with each other is not , it's just not . I learned with myself that I have to . I need something that's totally different to me in order to function . Like it can't be me , like you can't have the same .

Speaker 5 34:23

How is that working for you ? Is it the Libra about ?

Speaker 3 34:25

balance right . It's about balance , and that's what balance is when you did a true balance . It's yin and yang . You have to have something that's going to offset whatever you . So , whatever my faults are , I need somebody that's going to .

Speaker 4 34:37

But when you're a multifaceted person , right , there's still balance in to me . Um , when you're somebody that's , I guess , mirroring yourself , because you're not , I'm not , I'm not always showing up the same way . I'm gonna tell you right now , people could give people will say their experience . I got an ex that'll tell you I'm the little baby that don't listen , like they're like that's no limit , soldier over there , like . But then there's an ex that'll be like she , sweet as pie , like I love her .

Speaker 2 35:11

But you know what I think ? Everybody is different To everybody .

Speaker 5 35:15

Exactly . It depends on I'ma react how . There you go . I'ma respond , there you go .

Speaker 3 35:21

What I have learned about myself is that I get along with any sign that is out there , Because I mean , if you look it up , they say Libras adapt to any sign .

Speaker 2 35:30

Do you believe in that ?

Speaker 4 35:32

I mean some I don't trust . Libras , I'm going to keep it real with you , libras , don't do that .

Speaker 5 35:36

I started getting information about Libras and I'm like damn , them is some sneaky snaky .

Speaker 3 35:43

I don't think it's sneaky or sneaky . I think Libras manipulate the scale to fit the-

Unveiling the Complexities of Scorpios

Speaker 3 35:50

.

Speaker 4 35:50

You try , you try . It don't always work , but you try .

Speaker 3 35:55

To make the balance .

Speaker 4 35:56

Yeah , you try To make the balance .

Speaker 3 35:59

But if you look about every sign , pisces try to stay in the water , they try to keep everything natural . It's about the sign . So a Libra is always changing what you could call a lion , manipulating whatever you want to , adapting , adapting to .

Speaker 5 36:14

Oh please Adapting to . No , it's true , I'm not even trying to be funny .

Speaker 3 36:20

I'm not trying to be funny , but you're trying to keep the balance and whatever , by any means necessary . If you say it's lying or manipulating , that's what it is , but they're trying to keep that balance . I'm just saying I'm going by the signs .

Speaker 5 36:34

I'm not saying , that's what I do , even though we're lying .

Speaker 3 36:36

We're just trying to balance the scales , no , but what I'm saying , but you're trying to balance the scales and for me it doesn't work . Me having another Libra does not work all the time .

Speaker 4 36:46

That's because Hold on .

Speaker 2 36:50

Your mirror . What sign is he ?

Speaker 4 36:53

Scorpio .

Speaker 5 36:54

Oh , okay , they say Scorpios .

Speaker 3 36:58

Yeah , that's like really .

Speaker 4 36:59

They like the devils . Yes .

Speaker 5 37:02

But I love it . All of my girlfriends in my circle are Scorpios , except for me . I'm the only Aquarius . Oh wow , I bring everybody together .

Speaker 4 37:11

But I don't . It doesn't scare me Like Scorpios are . They got their thing and it's like they're all bitches I can imagine Scorpios are . They give you a run for your money . They give you a run for your money . They give you a run for your money . People tell me , like yo , you need to walk away if you get real hurt Because it's going to sting you . But I'm stubborn , so you like to get stung .

Speaker 3 37:38

Yeah , I'm with the shits and choked out and all that other shit .

Speaker 4 37:41

She's like .

Speaker 3 37:42

I like to be stung in more places than we're going gonna talk about here , every scorpion is mean , mean as hell but see for me .

Speaker 4 37:54

That's why I said bitches , see , I like . And I don't give a fuck see , I , I get that , but I also know , like , also know the same thing with the mirror . They just want to be seen , they just want to be loved .

Speaker 3 38:09

At the end of the day , I want to say that Scorpios love to be loved , but they don't like to get to that level to love them . They always want to be mean about the love .

Speaker 4 38:19

That may be true .

Speaker 3 38:20

I always see that with the Scorpios . I was dealing with the scorpio , she was a bitch boy . I love her , but she was mean like around , like if she was like a true , like she was a bitch to everybody , but in , in , when you get intimate , she was like totally opposite and that's that's been like an ongoing thing . With scorpios I met like they like mean , but when you get them alone and it's just one-on-one , they're like suckers .

Speaker 4 38:46

They like you know it's like attainment , like it's soft , yeah , that's people have their outer like protective factors and layers and stuff like that . But at the end of the day , you see the vulnerable part and that's what attracts me is I see the vulnerable .

Speaker 5 39:04

That's the mirror for me you can't be mean , you gotta get some honey , like lure me in somehow can't be like bitch , oh man . I think that was it .

Speaker 3 39:20

I think that was it . I think we have no more alright , I think that was it . I think we have no more .

Speaker 2 39:29

All right , were you going to stop the recording .