You have to be able to build rapport with your clients because they need to trust and believe in you and your team so your ideas actually see the light of day. In this episode, we explore the 5 things you can do to build stronger leadership, partnership, and rapport with your clients and team.
SHOW NOTES:
http://thecrazy1.com/episode-22-business-5-ways-to-build-rapport-with-your-clients/
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You have to be able to build rapport with your clients because they need to trust and believe in you and your team so your ideas actually see the light of day. In this episode, we explore the 5 things you can do to build stronger leadership, partnership, and rapport with your clients and team.
SHOW NOTES:
http://thecrazy1.com/episode-22-business-5-ways-to-build-rapport-with-your-clients/
FOLLOW THE CRAZY ONE:
Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook
Well, here we are the double deuces. And welcome to the 22nd episode of The Crazy One podcast. As always, I'm your host, Stephen Gates. And this is the show where we talk about creativity, leadership design, and a whole host of other things that matter to creative people. So today, I wanted to talk about something that I get asked about a lot. And it's a problem that I know is out there for a lot of you. And that's building rapport, and building trust with your clients. Because if we're honest, that has to be a great relationship, it has to be an easy relationship, because for any of our work to go out the door for any of our work to see the light of day. Well, our clients have to love it as much as we do. They have to support it as much as we do. Because if they don't, it gets minimized. It gets changed and neuter down to something that none of us are proud of that it doesn't perform the way any of us want to. So let's talk about how do we We get better at that. How do you deal with these people? And that's the real challenge here is that they are people, they have different insecurities than we do. They have different strengths than we do. They have a different level of expertise and maybe a different area of the business. But nonetheless, it's a partnership, just like a marriage, that has to work. And so what I wanted to do was to share five tricks, five tips, that are the things that I think about that they may seem small, but I think that they're things that can make a really big difference. And you can get to a place where you have that better relationship with your clients. So that's what I wanted to share today are these five little things that hopefully you can take back and you can share with your team you can share with your clients, and be able to build a report and get to the place where you're able to get more of that really good work to go out the door. So let's start with the first one. And the first one I think honestly is So foundational. It's so simple. But it's the one thing that I see time after time people have any seniority and any level of experience, get wrong, so much that it is just absolutely kills me. And what that is, is that if you take a step back, you're a creative person. What is it that you're really selling your clients? What is it that they're really buying from you? Especially if you're in a leadership position, especially if you're somebody who is the one who's working with them all the time? who's working to really establish that rapport with your clients? What are you really selling them? And time after time, in rooms all over the world? Whenever I've asked that question, I get the response. We're selling creative. We're selling comps, we're selling words, we're somehow selling the output of our creative process. And I could see how you could think that would be the answer. I could see how you could feel that that was really what it was that we were doing, but the reality is Is that all of those things are the byproduct of a process. They're the visible results that happen at the end. But what you're really selling, what you're really doing to build rapport with your clients is that you're really just selling two simple things. You're selling trust, and you're selling confidence. Because if a client trusts you, and if they have confidence in you, that opens every door that you need. It lets you take risks to do better work. edgier work, more innovative work, because they trust that that's something that you're going to be able to pull off. It lets you be the subject matter expert that can guide decisions that can point the way for where things need to go, as opposed to being the person who just really has to come in and vet the solution that somebody else has already thought up. And I think that it also lets you get the type of work it lets you get the type of projects They're going to keep your team happy. Because that's what they want. And that's the thing that I think in most broken relationships, that's what's missing. Most people can't put it into words, they can't express why the work isn't really going the way that it should. Why is the client rapport harder than it needs to be? And I think in almost every case, if you take a step back and you look at it, it's the trust and confidence that are missing. We've talked in previous episodes about creativity about how important it is to have the right problem to solve, that it's a problem to be solved, not a solution to be vetted. Well, so often, whenever you see that relationship being broken whenever the client is showing up with a solution to be vetted, not a problem to being solved. Well, the underlying reason behind that is they don't trust the creative team, they don't have confidence that they're going to be able to deliver the solution, the quality of the idea, the depth of the thinking, the size of the innovation that they're really looking for. So they do what most people do in a situation like that. They pull it back, they do it themselves, they feel like they have to be the ones that are going to be the ones who can deliver that vision. But I think that's the essence of building rapport. That's what all of this is about, is trust and confidence. And I think that there's a few simple ways to do that. I think the first is, obviously, walk your talk, and show up with good ideas, there is no substitute for that. And we're not necessarily going to go into that here. I've done other shows on leadership and on creativity that I think have covered that really well. And if those are shows that you haven't heard, after this one, go back and take a listen to that, because I think those go into really good detail about how do you really deliver substantive, really good ideas. But the thing that I would tell you and one of the things that I've really discovered is that the way that you talk, and especially the way you talk to a client can go a really long way to building that trust and confidence. Because it's something whenever I'm in a meeting, why talks a lot of the same ways. I do whenever I'm doing this podcast, I want to be able to make sure that I'm speaking slowly, smoothly, and with a tone that conveys authority. Now I know that with my voice that it has a volume, that means I couldn't whisper in a hurricane, it has a depth, that just kind of sounds different than everybody else. So that comes a little bit easier for me. But it's something that I think that you need to think about about the tone of your voice that are you somebody who is walking in on the offense as an authority as somebody who is coming in to present something they passionately really believe in, or are you coming in MEAC and defensive and really are on the defense the entire time? Not really sure if they're going to buy into this idea or not? Because I think so often whenever I try to turn around creative teams, just looking at how they talk, and how do they use their words, what's the tone that they use, that sets the foundation for going such a long way? And it again, it sounds like such a little thing, right? Just use a different tone. But think about it. If you think about the people that you've interacted with, whenever you meet somebody, if they're nervous, or they're jumpy, or they mumble, you never really think that they're confident you never really feel like they're in charge. And look, this is coming from somebody who was terrified to speak in front of her probably more than two or three people all the way up until college. This is an art that I've had to learn. So if you are listening to this, and you're introverted, if you're listening to this and thinking, Well, I'm quiet, and I'm not somebody who has that tone, that's you defeating yourself, you completely have the ability to develop that authority to develop that passion, that it isn't just having a loud voice. It isn't just standing up and jumping around. Those are antics that's different than authority. Authority is understanding authority is getting in there and really believing in what it is that you're talking about. And the funny thing was, I think that the biggest way that I learned to use my voice to control it to understand when should it be softer and when should be harder. Strangely enough is probably where I also learned a lot about the way I think about how I work with clients. And it is going to sound hideously offensive to some people. But I'll tell you what it it worked for me, and I don't know how to sugarcoat it or say it differently. But the way that I think about it, in so many cases is what I do whenever I work with or have lived with dogs. I don't mean that there's a mental comparison between my clients and dogs by any stretch of the imagination. But what I mean is that there's a certain way that you can use your voice with dogs that commands authority, there's a certain way that you act with them where your award the good and you try to shape out the bad. And I think that these are things that are characteristics that carry over. It's why I have friends who own pitbulls who only listen to the owner and to me, because there is an authority that I can inflect into my voice that makes them want to listen and so I think that that's subconscious. It's something that people aren't aware of. But it's something that you need to think about. Because that's the thing if you think about any great speaker, any great TED Talk you've ever watched any great 99 you talk that you've ever watched, you see that speakers who do this really well. They speak slowly. They have a self assurance that gives their subject matter credibility, and it gives it authority. Now, how do you learn this? How do you do it? The biggest thing that I would tell you and if you listen to the episodes around presentation skills, you've heard me say this again, but the thing is practice. And it's not just practice, but it's practice and recording yourself. That makes all the difference. Because this is like hearing your voice on a voicemail. Because you're thinking to yourself, I've heard my voice in my head 24 hours a day, seven days a week for my entire life. I can't sound like that person's on that voicemail. I don't sound like that big of a tool. It's something that happens to me every single The whole time I listen to this podcast right thing, I can't sound like that? Well, I do, it's different because the way it rattles around in my head and it rattles around in the world is different. But this is the thing is it's not just the way that it sounds, but it's the way that you talk as well, that matters, the inflection and the authority that you use your ability to really communicate to people, you can record that as well and listen to do you believe yourself? Are you somebody that you would listen to? Because it's a really good trick to understand what are the things that you are very passionate about, that you come across with a really good command of and what's going on with that material? Why is that happening in that particular place, as opposed to other places where maybe you lose it a little bit? Maybe it backs down? Maybe it's not quite as forceful? We'll listen to that and understand what are the differences between those and how can you start to do that more, how can you start to develop more of that confidence and more of that authority? The next one, I think, really is This is something that sounds here, again, small and simple. But a key part of being a really good leader, being a really good communicator or somebody who can build rapport with other people, whether it's people on your team, or another client is your ability to connect with people. And I think one of the biggest ways you can connect with people is with your mouth shut. Because I think listening and really listening has become a lost art. And it's just what I said, Listen, not correcting, not interrupting, not keeping your mouth shut until it's your turn to talk. And all that you're waiting to do is waiting for a silence so that you can say what it is that you want to say. That's not listening. Listening is actually being present. Listening is actually hearing the words that somebody says and then responding to that, because the reality is is here again, people who constantly correct they interrupt? Those people are often perceived as they're insecure? They need to be right. They need to one up everybody else? And how much trust and confidence do you have in people who do that? Because that's the thing is that these negative perceptions, these are the things that I get very worried about. I think that there's a time where I welcome them. I want a negative perception, I want to be the person that goes against the current, I want to be the person that goes against the grain. But there's a time and a place for that. There's also a time and a place to shut up. And listen, there's a place to respect the other people that you're working with, to respect what that partnership is, and to not build on that negative perception because it absolutely destroys that rapport. And I think that this is, the thing is that the most common reason that this stuff happens is because most people can't suspend their own ego long enough to put somebody else's wants and needs and perceptions ahead of their own. This is the meat generation. This is the wanting to hear myself talk. This is the problem. With so much of creativity that's going on right now is that we want to make it about us. So here's another exercise. The next time you're sitting with a client practice, we'll call it a little ego suspension. Because what I want you to do is let your client talk, listen to what they have to say. And then instead of coming back with an opinion, or with a counterpoint, ask them to elaborate on one point, ask them a probing question and expanding question build on what it is that they're doing, instead of immediately trying to make a counterpoint. Because that's the thing is that most creatives, they want to rush in and they want to be right. And the thing is, is that it takes time to understand this sort of stuff. You have to understand how it makes your clients feel, and what does it really do to that interpersonal dynamic, whenever they don't feel like they're being heard because this is the stuff they're not going to tell you. If you're perceptive enough, you can see it on the look in their face. You can Seeing the body language and the way that they sit in a chair, you can see it through a lot of these cues. But most people aren't as perceptive enough to be able to pick up on that stuff. But this is where these things really make a difference. So suspend your ego a little bit, keep the focus on somebody else. Because those are the people that are the best leaders, they're viewed as being the best conversationalist. And a funny byproduct comes out of that is the thing that I've found is that those are the people that are the most sought after when important decisions need to get made. Because they know they're going to listen, they know they're going to be fair, and that leads to a lasting trust and confidence and rapport, because it's not somebody who's just waiting to throw their opinion in the ring and be right. Because I think that's really the thing is that if you're right, somebody else is wrong. And there's like I said, there's a time and a place for that. But in most cases, you need to understand that the other person's thoughts whether you agree with them or not have validity. They need to be heard. They need to be learned. Listen to, and that you need to understand. Why is it that they feel that way you need to think about other people. And so I think that that is something that is so incredibly important. For the next thing. It may sound a little bit strange. But I think if you want to build trust with people, if you want to build confidence, you want to build a rapport. I think there's a certain part of understanding how do you control and use your time? Because this isn't as obvious, right? This isn't as obvious as interrupting. It's not, you know, it's one of those things you're letting not letting somebody else talk. But it's a trick that I use that I think is really effective. Because the reality is, is that for me to be a good leader, for me to be a good teammate for me to be a good partner to a client. Well, then I need to understand that people and conversations and the creative process, in many cases deserve a certain amount of time, and that we all have so much going on that in so many cases you Want to shortcut that your day is busy, it's filled with meetings, there's not much free time, there aren't many things going on where you can feel like you can sit down and really give stuff the attention that it deserves. So that that becomes a really big problem, especially if I'm trying to build rapport when I'm trying to build rapport with my team, or whether I'm trying to build rapport with a client. So it's one of those things where the first thing I would tell you to do is to not have these little fractional conversations, that if you're on your way to something else, if you have something else to do actually say and set that expectation ahead of time, say, Look, I'm on my way to a meeting. And but before it starts, you know what, let's just let's talk about this real quick and timebox it say I've got two minutes, three minutes, five minutes, something, but you can at least start the conversation because I think that it is important in the fact but it does set an expectation for the length of the conversation because what I don't want to do is I don't want to seem rude. I don't want to seem rushed, I don't want to seem like there's something better for me to do. I don't want to see it that way with people who are on my team, I don't want to see that way. with people who work for me, I don't want to see that seem that way with my clients. I want them to know that what it is that they have to say is something that I actually want to listen to. But there are certain just realities that come into play. So I want to set that expectation, like I said, for the length of this conversation, so I can listen to them, we can start the conversation, we can truncate it or edit it or get it down to just the bare essentials. But it's not me being rude. I'd also say that managing your time, and doing these sort of things is also really important in two other cases. I think the first thing is that a lot of times whenever I first meet people, I oftentimes will try to keep it to be a short and simple interaction. Because the here again, I think that by putting some sort of a time constraint, whether it's real or not, quite honestly, I think is a good thing. Because I don't want them to feel trapped, I don't want them to feel awkward. I don't want them to because the reality is not everybody likes meeting new people, not everybody's comfortable in that situation. So I just, it's something that I do where I just feel like look, I just want to kind of, we're going to do this in pieces. And it's going to get slightly bigger at every interaction. But we're going to build up to that. Because it is something that as you build rapport, trust and confidence just come out of the work and the truth and the way that you act though things that you do, the decisions that you make, the way you walk, your talk. Those are tangible things that are inescapable ways of building trust and confidence. But it's also something where I just, I want to also save myself if there is ever a need for me to be the pointless suck up to be the person that is going to fill dead air to just do anything like that and just kind of keep it short and sweet and simple. But the other thing that I would tell you to use with this Is that you can use it to also help save your sanity a little bit. Because I think that there's also the inverse of this, which is that sometimes I have clients who just have characteristics that are incredibly problematic. And in that case, what I need to do is to maybe control my time with them for a different reason. I will often describe these people lovingly as time vampires. And I say that because these are people that will drain the life, the time and the energy out of you. Because they're the people who always come by they stop you in the hall, they see you in their office, they just pop their head in, and they say, hey, one quick question. I'll just take a couple minutes. You all have just thought of somebody who does that. And you will think of somebody else whenever I say that these are the people that you know, as soon as they say that there is a snowball shot in hell that this conversation is going to be five minutes, it's going to be 20 or 30. At minimum, probably an hour unless I can get some sort of like a safety word to somebody else for them to come and save me out of this room. Because these are the people that are the time vampires, they just want to come in and monopolize your time. Well, here again, I need to control myself, I need to control my perception of them, I need to control how much work I need to get done. So these are these things, whenever I see these people, the first thing out of my mouth is going to be yes, you can, but you need to know I have to leave, I have to go to a meeting, I have a phone call, I have something I have to go take a seizure something in five minutes in 10 minutes. And whatever that is, looking at my watch, noting the time and knowing that in five minutes or 10 minutes, I'm going to end this conversation I will give them fair warning at a minute or two ahead of time. But whenever that time hits, I'm going to say Look, I'm sorry, told you five minutes, I really need to go. But I think that it's that's something to where you can kind of help save them from themselves save your sanity from kind of really crumbling in on itself and really getting to a place you just don't like to be around these people. But it's just the basic understanding of how do I manage And Marshal, that part of my time, that I think can be a really good and simple way of building rapport. Because you can control the length of the interaction, the depth of the interaction, and kind of whose terms that are on, which can really help. So the fourth thing, and this is one, that this may be a problem that is a little bit unique to me, but I think that it's something that everybody can learn from. And I think what it is, is to really think about and just be aware of your physical presence. And I think that can take the few different forms for me, and like I said, it may be a little bit different. I'm six foot four, I am not a small guy. So it's something that I'm incredibly aware of that I find myself making sure that I understand how I kind of like align and control and really position myself with other people. Because it's something where if somebody is sitting down and I come to stand next to them, I don't want to like Lord over them and intimidate them. I want To make sure that there really is this sort of like, understanding that body language and the way that you kind of position yourself can have negative connotations that you can undermine yourself without ever saying a word. Because you see this all the time. And the reality is, is like I said, it's, it's not just, I'm going to stand too close and tower over somebody. But it's just it's the fact that you, you know, these people, you've seen them. whenever they're in meetings, either they sit there all slumped over, they're on their phone, they're staring at the ceiling, they're staring off into space. They've got their head down on the desk, they're looking around the room. There's just their physicality betrays their mindset. Because that's the thing is that so much of these on so many of these unconscious little things. Well, that's why they happen is because they're unconscious that your body language betrays your attitude. This is why this is something that I've studied and have spent time with poker players and all sorts of other people to understand body language and physical tells and some of these things but It's something to be aware of. Because if I tell you how enthusiam about something, if I tell you how invested I am about something, but I'm slumped back in my chair, honestly pretending like I could care less about what's going on the words and the body language don't match. And that that's a problem. And because I think it's one of those things where you just you have to be aware of the fact that even if you're in a meeting, even if you are bored out of your mind, keep your phone in your pocket, set up straight. Like and this is the thing like I don't mean to sound like your mother or something. But but that's the thing is that all of those things communicate. They communicate your level of interest, they communicate your enthusiasm, your power and your authority, a lot of those different things. It's even to think of here again, about the first time that you meet somebody or just generally with interactions with people. How do you control them manipulate your body language to get what you want? that in most cases, I try to make sure that I'm relaxed that I smile that there are non verbal cues to try to look approachable because I know again, it's six foot four was somebody who I've been told about As a resting conscientious objector face, sometimes that is not something I naturally do well in terms of looking approachable. But it's something where you can really be able to also figure out, how can I use body language? or How can I use just simple physical interactions, to build trust or confidence or energy or things like that. One of the things that I would tell you to do is that whenever you go into work, tomorrow, whenever sometime next week, walk past somebody you know, in the hall, stick your hand in the air and give them a high five. Because one of the things I think you'll be amazed at is how something as simple as a high five, that physical interaction, that energy exchange, it can make somebody smile, it can cheer them up, and it creates a connection with somebody who you barely know because it is innocuous, it's safe, but it's not nearly as weird as trying to hug somebody or doing something like that. It's just a safe, simple way of doing things. But that's why I said you can use your body language to betray yourself or you can use it to support yourself or you can use it in a case like that. actually building people up have injecting energy into the studio and making it that whenever you come into that space, people smile, or they just feel better about you because of these sort of things. Now, the last thing I would tell you, whenever it comes to building rapport, whenever it comes to being a leader, whenever it comes to any of these sorts of things, I think this last one really cuts across all of them. And it really is the fact that here Yeah, it's a small trick. But asking people for help, can be incredibly. I don't know what it can just be something that I think humanizes people, I think it can be something that really allows people to see you in a different way. Because biologically, we are just conditioned to feel connected to somebody that asks for help, because they're in a vulnerable position. They're coming, they're asking they need some of your assistance. And so I think that that's something that you can try to use to build rapport. It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be earth shattering or life shaking. It can just be a really simple thing. It could be in person or it could be a An email, but the ability to just be vulnerable enough to ask for help. It's like I said, as somebody who is a partner to a client, as somebody who has people who leads other people, as somebody who has a team member to somebody else, those sorts of just simple requests can be so simple, they can be so easy, but allowing yourself to be even the slightest bit vulnerable to admit that you need help, or that you have a question, especially in an age when everybody feels so damn certain that they have the answer, that this is what I said before this goes back to the similar mindset of listening and letting other people talk. But this is here again, the ability to be vulnerable and say, I need your help. I need your opinion or I need your insight on something or Hey, you know, come here and let me know what you think about this. However, quick, simple and spontaneous that may be. It can go an incredibly long way to building rapport with people. So those are my five things. Like I said, none of them are Are shattering. But I think that there are things that if you start to pay attention to them, if you start to look for them in other people, if you start to look for them in yourself, you're going to be amazed at the difference they can make, you're going to be surprised at how you can really start to build that trust and confidence with other people. Because that's the biggest thing that all this is about. That's the biggest thing for you to be successful that you need to realize and tap into is that that's what your product is. your creativity, your illustrations, your drawings, your words, those are byproducts of a process. But that process isn't going to hit its true potential. It's not really going to get out there and do what it should. If your clients don't trust you, if they don't have confidence that you can really deliver for them. So just keep that in mind. For the presentations that you give for the interactions that you have for the words that you speak and the actions that you take. That that's what it is that you need to be building our trust and confidence. There are too many people these days who saved What is easy, they say what is convenient, but they lack the courage of their convictions, and they do not follow through on these things. And as a result, you know that they sound very convincing. You don't trust them, you don't have confidence in them. And as a result, that really becomes a huge problem, that you need to take the time to suspend your ego. Listen to people hear what it is, they have to say, whether you agree with them or not take the time to understand that there is validity in their opinion. And that how do you try to connect with that? And how do you try to find common ground to find a really good solution because in that form, the best work the best ideas, the best things come out of that, because it is the strength of the two different things coming together, to take the time to control your time to understand how does the length of an interaction How does meeting somebody, how does, how long a meeting goes? How does that affect What's going on? To think about your body language and not betray yourself before you even open your mouth but also for the fact that how you can build energy about how it can really be something that can lift people up. And finally, and lastly, just ask for help externalize your creative process, ask for people's opinions, ask to see what they think about things, ask for their insight, be somebody who is constantly reverting to the five year old child of just asking why or what do you think or what is that? Because that level of vulnerability, that level of openness breeds trust, it breeds confidence, and it breeds leadership, because you have the confidence to be able to put that stuff out there. That's like I said before, these are simple things that I've learned over the years, I encourage you to use them just as a starting point. Because the reality is that everybody's different. You're different than I am. Your clients are different than mine, your team is different than mine, which is why some of these things may work spectacularly some of them may struggle. But there's one other trick that I would tell you if none of those things work for you. If you still are really having a hard time connecting with somebody, whether it's somebody on your team, whether it's a client or something like that. The other little trick that I'll tell you is to never underestimate the power of lunch. Because lunch is a funny thing. Ask somebody to lunch, take them out to lunch, make or go Dutch do whatever it is that you want to do. But the ability to get somebody away from a meeting table, from a desk from a team from something like that, and to try to humanize the interaction, do it over food, because I think that's the one common thing that I've discovered traveling all over the world, is it sitting down over food and having a conversation? People who is have some of the most dis separate views in the world can suddenly find common ground, they can at least start to hear and listen to each other. And again, it's not that all of a sudden, I'm going to get myself over and completely agree with that person. But it's at least the start of a conversation. And so that might be something else you would think about. Just start taking people to lunch, invite them to lunch, do a potluck, do something, but use that as a weapon to try to just shift the context of these conversations, to be the one that can bring those people together. Thank you We'll start to have that trust and confidence in you. Because I think that is the biggest thing for this is to build that trust and to build that confidence. So go forth, try those things out, take people out to lunch, suspend your ego, and think about how are you selling trust and confidence. As always, if you like the show, if you like what it is, I have to say, I really appreciate it. Go over to iTunes, go to Google, go over to any platform and leave a review. If you're feeling just kind of sprightly and you don't want to take much time just click on the stars that works just as well as if you're feeling a little bit more verbose and you want to leave a review. If you want to find out about the show notes. If you want to find out about other episodes if you want to find out any more information, you can always head over to podcast dot Stephen Gates calm. I'll put all these tips and tricks up there so you can copy them down, email them to friends, pick them up on the board behind your desk just as a reminder to yourself. If you have any questions you can always email me if it's something you want to ask about. There's something when you hear me talk about, shoot me an email, I'll get back to you as soon as I can or fold it into a future show. You can send it to ask at Stephen Gates calm as always, Steven as STP HEN, the boys, not illegal always want me to remind you that all the views here are my own. They don't represent any of my current or former employers. This is it just me out here ranting. And finally, I say it every time because I mean it every time. But thank you for your time. I know that time is truly the only real luxury that we have. And I'm always incredibly humbled that you want to spend any of it with me. So go out there, build the trust, build the confidence, and until next time, stay crazy.