Our careers, personal lives, and the world around us are always changing. This causes stress, anxiety, and even fear, which can derail and debilitate us. But change happens all the time, and how we perceive it and the effect it has on us can make a huge difference in our health, happiness, and success. In this episode, we will look at why we struggle with change, why our feelings about it are normal, and some things we can do to try to deal with it in healthier ways.
SHOW NOTES:
http://thecrazy1.com/episode97
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Our careers, personal lives, and the world around us are always changing. This causes stress, anxiety, and even fear, which can derail and debilitate us. But change happens all the time, and how we perceive it and the effect it has on us can make a huge difference in our health, happiness, and success. In this episode, we will look at why we struggle with change, why our feelings about it are normal, and some things we can do to try to deal with it in healthier ways.
SHOW NOTES:
http://thecrazy1.com/episode97
FOLLOW THE CRAZY ONE:
Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook
What's going on everybody, and welcome into the 97th episode of the crazy one podcast. As always, I'm your host, Stephen Gates. And this is the show where we talk about creativity, leadership, design, and so much more. Now, be sure to hit the subscribe button on your favorite podcast platform to get the latest episodes whenever they come out. And you know what? Do me a favor, take just a couple seconds whenever you're there and leave a review to let everybody know what you think about the show. You can listen all the shows, get the show notes, even get some crazy one propaganda, all you have to do is head over to the crazy one calm. That's crazy. And the number one.com. If you got any questions, you just want to sort of keep up with my adventures, which these days aren't quite as wild as they used to be. But be sure to follow along on Instagram and Twitter. You can get more content like this. And you can follow the show either on LinkedIn or Facebook. Now, as usual, for those of you who are listening to the show live, where the hell do we even start with everything that's going on. I know you For us in the in the United States, this is probably the first week of having to deal with the Coronavirus. I know from some of my friends in other parts of the world, it's been considerably longer than that.
Unknown Speaker :And like
Stephen Gates :I've been spending a lot of time over the last couple weeks that I've been in quarantine since since I got back from from being in Paris, trying to figure out you know what to do next on this show, because I've started more than a few episodes over that amount of time. And they just seemed wrong, even silly, I think to me at times when I think about what people are dealing with. And as I thought about it, I kept coming back to one moment last year that taught me something important. And it seems like that moment seems to be getting me through what we're going through now. And I thought, you know what, maybe this would be a good foundation for an episode and is something that could help people right now. It was a moment last year that was incredibly hard for me, but it taught me something incredibly important. How to deal with change. And I think that's what we're all dealing with right now. So in this episode, that's what I want to talk about, I want to talk about how are we going to deal with change, right? Like, why are we struggling with it? And what are some of the things we can do to try to deal with it in a healthy way. But I want to start with I think the best place as I do with a lot of these shows, is to start by really talking about change. And looking at why we struggle with it so much right? Like the background behind it seems to be really enlightening. Now, a lot of you will probably remember that back in Episode 80. We talked about confidence. And if you listen to that episode, you will probably remember because it seems to be one of the more memorable moments on this show. was the time whenever I talked about that right as I recorded that show was an incredibly hard time for me because I had been traveling had just recently returned to home and my 10. Now as of today, 10 year old pug doggy had just gone blind, and that it had happened in the course of a week. So it was incredibly sudden. And that was such a painful moment. For me. It was incredibly difficult for me to release that episode. In that state sounding that way, there was a huge part of me that wanted to go in and rerecord it and take that part out of it. Because I think you can clearly hear the pain that I was going through. It was on the surface, it was raw, it was immediate. And I was so blown away by everybody who reached out to me after that episode. And just to stop for a second see how much I deeply appreciated that. And the interesting thing about that experience was I think it was one of the most informative, influential formative that I think I've had in a couple years, because I think that time is letting me see that what went from one of the worst moments in recent memory, ultimately has become one of the best. Because it taught me something incredibly important. Because when it happened, I was destroyed. I felt like you know, this dog who I'm incredibly closely bonded with my wife and I don't have children, our dogs, our children, I know. A look around people who maybe take that a little bit too far. Like, look, I don't have pug pillows and stuff. Like again, if I'm looking at a pug I look down. There's a fucking pug, right like, but these are our kids. And it really destroyed me that I wasn't here for her in a moment when I thought that she needed me and there was no way that I seem to be able to escape that thought. And it took my wife and again, I think this is why we've been together for 20 years. It took her to snap me out of it. Because she reminded me that if I kept moping if I kept kind of walking out the Head down. If I kept walking around crying and stuff like this, then ogee would start to pick up on it, and that she had already moved on. So Why wasn't I? And the moment hit me like a fucking ton of bricks that she was totally right. And will probably love this show, because I'm admitting any recorded format that you had again, she was right. But that, you know, in this case, I was the biggest part of the problem, because I couldn't deal with the fact that things had changed and that that change was out of my control. But I think it It wasn't that I was just having trouble with the fact that things has had changed. The insight that I got to and I think the thing that has been getting me through lately was that I came to this realization that what I was doing was I was mourning the loss of what had been normal. I left on a Monday to a happy, healthy dog who could see who had been this way for the past. last nine years, and that had very much been the state of normal. Whenever I returned home on Saturday, I found a scared, cowering, blind dog who seemed like a shell of herself. And I wanted things to go back to the way that they were. And instead of accepting that that wasn't possible, instead of accepting that this was the new reality. I got stuck in this spiral, obsessing over why things weren't the way that they used to be. And that's what was tearing me up. That was what was destroying me it was causing the fear it was causing the anxiety it was the fact that I couldn't even exist in my own home without basically being in this almost constant state of pain. And the interesting part with this was that I feel like whenever you open yourself up, whenever you realize that inspiration, that insight, and that leadership can come from anywhere. It's really interesting, all the places that you suddenly start to find it because in This moment, in many moments since as funny as this may sound to say out loud, my dog showed me the way. Because what it was, was that he had accepted what happened. And she got to figuring out how to deal with her new situation. within two days, she had figured out how to go upstairs, she had mapped out most of the house within four days, she was going downstairs, and she has just kept going to the point where she constantly pushes and fights against the problem. And often whenever we travel, there's someone who stays at our house who's a dog sitter, who we've known for the better part of a decade. And I always sort of laugh when we come back. Because, you know, we'd recently came back from a trip and he was like, yeah, you know, she's, she's doing better with going down the main set of stairs in your house, but she still struggles with it a little bit. And I was like, wait, what the hell do you mean we don't let her go down those stairs because they're higher and she has trouble with them. Well, that was not going to be a limitation for her. And she just continues to keep going and I even laughs because she loves we go out for if you ever follow me on Instagram, you'll see we go out for walks in the nature reserved behind my house, whenever I take her to the vet when you take her to new spaces, she wants to fight into keep doing that, because what she'll do like when you take her to the vet, she'll walk around and map out the space in her head, and it takes about two times around, then she's got it and she's good. But the thing wasn't that realizing what I was doing, and realizing that I was mourning this loss of normal. It armed me with this new perspective and helped me realize that I was sort of being an idiot. And that I was not, I wasn't helping the way that I should. Because the reason why I said it made me feel like an idiot was I realized, I'm a designer who creates experiences for customers that and those customers always have limitations. So in this case, what I needed to do was to realize that my new customer was my blind dog. And I needed to figure out how to design a better experience for her. So I set about starting to work with her and we started to do things to help her out. And again, if you ever been Around pugs, not the greatest sense of smell, not the greatest sense of hearing, but their sense of feel. And their sense of sound is pretty good. So I started to do things like using texture to mark edges and transitions in the house I'll, I'll post a video up so you can actually watch her do it. We have mats that we put at the top of the stairs so that she knows when she feels that that she's at the edge of something and you'll watch her show sort of walk around, hit the mat, start taking tiny steps, find the edge, and down she goes. It was just I needed to create a better experience for that I started to realize that I can use sound so her water bowl turn into a water fountain because then she could hear it. Now I guess I'll post videos of this everyone wants to see it. But it took that realization and that complete change of perspective for me to realize, one how to move on, but to how I could start to actually use this problem to find power to find solutions. To not just simply wallow in that spiral of mourning the loss of what had happened and I That that's one of the things that I've realized, as I took the time after this, to think about my career, to think about even what's going on right now, how much of that time I've spent mourning the loss of normal morning it whenever an organizational change happens whenever I get a new boss whenever something doesn't go your way whenever, all these reasons and all these moments were in that moment, instead of just saying like, Okay, look, I don't love it. I may not like it. But this is what it is. And then how do we find the way forward? I spent too much of my time and my energy, mourning that loss of normal and spending way too much time, sort of lamenting the difference. And so since then, some of the things that I've done have been trying to think about how do I get better at this? What are the some of the pieces of advice that I can give and like I said, I think this episode For me, I hope we'll live on longer than just sort of the pandemic that we're living through. Because I think that a lot of this dealing with change happens all the time in our careers. So for me, I hope is that this can live on past the moment we're in, but also that whenever it comes to our work lives, whenever it comes to our personal lives, to all the things that we're dealing with, that some of the things that we're going to talk about here, can help can help you maybe find a way forward to help you find some empowerment in what's going on. Because I think that the first thing that I realized that is really good to figure out how to get better at this is to just honestly acknowledge that things are changing because one of the best ways to not get stuck in that spiral of mourning the loss of normal is because I think a lot of cases we get caught up in fighting change. And and we put off dealing with it right because I think that's what I was doing. though that was I was putting off, you know, having to come to grips with the fact that this had changed. And I think that the thing that I realized in me and I've seen in so many other people is denial is a powerful force. And I think that it happens in many ways, is us trying to protect ourselves. Because we don't want the pain, we don't want to be able to deal with these things. And I think for some of us that denial can become monsterous can become something that alters the course of our lives because we start going to these extraordinary lengths to not admit that we have a problem to not admit that there's pain to not admit that we're stressed out and to not sort of admit to the reality. So we construct these alternate realities, right, these other ways of doing it, these sort of pain spirals, and it's done out of denial. And for me, I learned that if I stepped out of it, and understood that things are changing that some thing is different. And that that was okay. And that it wasn't always looking at what I'd lost. It wasn't looking at doing that sort of thing of mourning the loss of normal, but just simply saying, Okay, look, if this is the new reality for what this is, how do I work inside of this? How do I make the best of this? How do I, how do I find a good outcome to this? Because that moment, whenever I was able to step outside of it, when I was able to acknowledge that there was a problem that led me to the place of being able to say, Okay, great, now I can get to work on making this better. Now I can use my skills and my talents, to be able to figure out how to make things better. And I think that's true of personal stuff for the people you love. I think it's true at work, hopefully also there for people you love. But I think that it really helps you to just simply say it out loud that there's a problem because there's a lot of people that I talked to a lot that I coach who spend a huge amount of energy, just trying not to admit that there was a problem or that something changed. And I think that the next part of it, for me has been, especially as I've moved into leadership, as I've gone into more senior positions, has also started to be for me to understand that all change, even the good kind, causes stress, right? Because I think sometimes when people go through a positive life change, right, maybe they're moving, they're graduating, they're getting married, they have a baby, right? These are really positive, happy marriage, like things you remember for the rest of your life. But they still cause a pretty healthy amount of stress. And I think, you know, stress is just your body's way of reacting to change, that in many cases, the stress and the anxiety isn't just changes and only bad, right? And I think in moments like this, and especially whenever big changes happen, most of us tend to go to the negative things aren't what they were things aren't. And I think that you know, it is the recognition that this is named natural part of it, and that it's our body's way of reacting to change. And it's okay to feel stressed even when something good happens. But for me, it's also not getting down on myself. Whenever things change, whenever I have a reaction to it whenever I don't love it, whenever I get stressed about it, like I said, even when it's good, it can cause some anxiety. So for me, it's sort of giving myself permission to realize that that stress is going to happen. Now, the interesting part for us whenever you're creative, is that it can be a tough balancing act. Because and we've talked about this multiple episodes in the past, right? Because on the one hand, if you avoid the stress, if you avoid the anxiety, if you just want to do what you've always done, you don't grow. You don't evolve, you don't push your ideas forward. And you really fall back into that phrase that I've used time and time again of comfort is the enemy of greatness because you want to live in the comfort you feel The stress you fear, the change and the change, ultimately, that leads to the anxiety, the other things that are with it. But at the same point, you cannot exist in a constant state of change because you just emotionally you can't withstand that constant level of stress and anxiety. So it's finding that tipping point of how do you move from comfort to stress? How do you move from pushing yourself to do something different to grow, to try new things, to understand that there will be a stressful point in that but on the other side of that, whenever you push through whenever you become successful, the feelings that are there, the confidence that is there, the success that is there, the growth that is there, is worth the journey, it's worth the anxiety, but then it sort of moving between those two states when you get to the other side. Take a moment to enjoy it. Take a moment to get your bearings allow that to become the new normal. But like most things, you can't just keep living there for forever. So it's this constant movement between calm and stress. between, you know that the status quo and change that you're going to have to keep sort of going back and forth between. But it's also understanding that whenever you set out on that there's going to be that anxiety. And that just means that you're learning it means that you're pushing yourself, it means that your body is reacting to the change. And that's okay. But like I said, for me, though, it's really learning about how do you not get stressed out about being stressed out? Because, you know, if it's always gonna, if it's always gonna cause that, then what becomes important, is really, how do you think about it? How do you manage it? How do you manifest it? Because as I've done research around this, as you start to look into it, the things that you're going to find is that your mentality around how you deal with stress really makes all the difference. Because you'll see people who go through medical conditions, people who go through really stressful times. Welcome to the world now, right? Like if you believe if you have a negative outlook, if you believe that's true is going to kill you. If you have a negative outlook on those sort of things, it is going to have a much more profound and deeper negative impact on you. As opposed to people who believe that stress is going to carry them through a tough situation that they understand that it's a response to those things that they are going to use it to become more resilient. So that in dealing with change the way that again, because the stress is going to come and your mindset whenever it does make such a massive difference, because that's where I've been trapped, is that for too long, I saw it as a negative for too long. I got into that, like, you know, just downward spiral around that stuff. You put my mind in a bad place to put my body in a bad place. It started to become a self fulfilling prophecy, as opposed to whenever you shift the mindset and say, Okay, look, this is normal. This is what I need. manage it, don't let it become overwhelming. But to just really pay attention to the direction and the viewpoint your mind has on it. And when you start to start to feel stressed I really hate when I mispronounce stuff like that. When you start to feel stressed, ask yourself, what the stress is trying to help you accomplish. Is that stress trying to help you excel and an important task, right, like a presentation or a big interview? Is it trying to help you Endor a period of tough times, right, a temporary a shift in your organizational structure, a new boss something that you know, you're just going to have to basically endora survive until that new normal reestablish itself. Is it trying to help you empathize with somebody? Because you you feel their pain, you understand what they're going through, it has a real impact on you. Or is the stress trying to help you successfully exit a really bad situation? Because sometimes that stress is a wake up call. It's a reminder because sometimes we don't realize how bad the situation is. We're in until you're out of it. I mean, I'll often joke about some of the industries I've worked in some of the people I've worked in, almost like the peace TSD that has come out of that. But it was only after I left that I realized how bad it was I lost the forest for the trees, I lost any sense of perspective or any level set to really understand what was going on there. So know that the stress is going to be there and how you choose to see it is gonna make a big difference. But then I think the other part of this is that one of the most common misperceptions about coping with change, is that we can tough it out, right, like work through it and these sort of things, but if we just focus on the problem now, I'm not saying this is just like the suck it up and ignore your problem thing, right? What I mean by this is, you know, there are times when, you know, it's one of those things where we will talk about how we feel more than the actual problem. Because what I felt with Ogi was that I had abandoned her what I felt was that I was not there when she needed me. That was not the problem. That was me sort of focusing on my the way I was really feeling about that. And so the thing that I've learned from that is to talk about your feelings at the beginning of the change. Because you want to acknowledge them, they are real, the impact on you is real, the way you feel is real. I don't want to discount that. But I don't want it to become a prison or a spiral. And what we want to be able to do is to be aware of how it might be distorting or imprisoning your thinking. Because whenever you're able to say, this is how I feel. Then what that allows you to do is to start to get some practical advice about what to do next to work on the problem that's at the heart, the new reality because feelings tend to deal with the past. I wasn't there. I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I let someone down, right. The reality was in that moment for me actually Give me Give me your eyesight back. I couldn't change that I wasn't there. And either I could continue to lament the loss. My shortcoming. It didn't diminish that I felt that way. It didn't make that any smaller or any less impactful for me. But it sort of led me out of the prison of just being so totally encapsulated by what I felt was the failure to start to look at the real problem, which was that she was scared, she was disoriented and she needed somebody. And that then we could set about designing her that new experience, we could start to deal with our heart, the problem that was at the heart of everything. And by doing that by zeroing in on the problem that I could solve it let me start to make a way for it to let me get to a good outcome instead of just sitting there obsessing over the feelings that weren't going to change the past wasn't going to change. It look, I still, I still regret the moment. I still will spend the rest of my life somehow trying to make it up to her that I wasn't There. But I also know in the days, weeks, months, years that are to come since that time to give her a you know, the ability to really kind of function out in a way that a lot of people don't even know that she's blind. I laughed. I was at the vet the other day. And there were two people there who just gotten the news that their dog had gone blind. And I just sort of went over and sat down and said, Look, you know, you don't know me for anything. You didn't ask for my opinion. I've been through this try to give them some advice. And they looked down at it and said, Oh, my God, that's so fantastic. Is your other dog blind? It's like nope, this is her. She just, you know, at this point, she's overcome epilepsy, blindness, a lot of other stuff, right. But, but that was the thing is is to was to focus to find a way to focus on the problem, not just the way I felt about it. And I think though, that especially in moments like this, though, there's also the recognition that was a level of change that ultimately wasn't very big. It was something that I had complete control over, it was something that I was able to sort of put my stamp on pretty completely. And in many cases, though, change can be out of our control, it can be at a scale that we can't don't feel like we can influence. And that there can be a lot of fear and a lot of unknowns that come out of that. I think whenever we talk about organizational change, leadership change, even like this, that the change that something like a pandemic can create, whatever its global, it is so much bigger than us that I think sometimes you can get lost in it. You can lose your way you can feel incredibly powerless because of the size and scale of what it is you're up against that you're just one person in a very large organization, or you're just one household in a very big world. And, you know, one of the things that I've tried, one of the things that I've coached other people on that seems to have been successful is that in these moments to remind yourself of what's going It's important to you, things like family and friends, things like the people you can help, maybe it's your religious convictions, all these things that can be a good buffer against change in stress. But here's the exercise that I ask people to do is I ask them to spend 10 minutes to just sit down and write about a time when something that was important to them a value that was important to them, family, friends, religion, yet whatever that was, whenever that thing really helped them out, right, and that it had a positive effect on them. And just to spend 10 minutes thinking about that, focusing on what that thing is and writing about it. And in my experience, the technique works because thinking about something like this a personal value, helps you rise above the immediate stress and fear it reminds you of a time, when you were successful, it reminds you of the power that you have over yourself, it helps you realize that your personal identity can't be compromised by one challenging situation. That, like I said is, is these are the things that are going to come. But sometimes we lose ourselves in those moments. Sometimes we need to go back and remind ourselves of who we are, we need to remind ourselves of the power we have. And remember, what's most important, because as I've spoken about on previous shows, I know one of the most popular episodes I've done in recent times, was the one about making peace with yourself. This is another one of those moments, to find the time and find the way to make peace with yourself to remind yourself of the good the power the outcomes that you have. But the other thing that I try to remind myself is, I can't expect stability. I can't expect it in my life. I can't expect it in my job. I can't expect to In the world, and no matter how many times I've been reminded of that, it seems to be something of a concept I have a hard time holding on to been laid off twice been through jobs where I've had so many different bosses and all these other things. And every time something changes, somehow it seems to catch catch me so completely off guard, I seem to be so completely surprised by it. But again, as I harken back to the best leaders that I work with, they see all changes, whether they're wanted or not as a regular part of the job of their life. And they don't ever see them as this sort of tragic abnormality that victimizes these unlucky people, right, it happens to all of us. And I think instead of feeling personally attacked by organizational change, ignorant leaders, what you may perceive as being evil and inept lawmakers or an unfair universe, that you really remain engaged in work and look for the opportunities to To fix these problems, because I think whenever you say, oh, what's supposed to be, again, as I've talked about in the past, we all get extremely caught up in the narrative and this invisible script of what it is that we think should be going on these things of the way it should be playing out of what we wanted it to be. That those wants are nice, they make us feel comforted, but they are rarely based in any sort of reality and there's no expectation of what the future is going to hold. So I think in some ways, for me also just sort of creating that psychological safety of just saying, look, shit is gonna keep changing. And so whenever it does, you're not as thrown off by it. I think even this translates for me into my life, even how I travel. I know whenever we travel, any place around the world, we travel a lot, something's gonna go wrong, something's gonna change. Something's gonna get screwed up. And then whenever that happens, I can just say, you know what, I knew this was gonna happen. It's not a big deal, as opposed to freaking out and going. Oh my god, what are we gonna do in the spinning around this wasn't what I was supposed to Be involved and all that stuff, right? And you just can get caught up in the spiral. You can just say, look, I knew this was, this is just part of the game. And whenever that happens, you can just keep your head together. And again, I think especially when your leadership, because again, I've said this in the past, as leaders, we rarely are afforded the luxury of a bad day. People are looking to you for advice, they're looking at you for direction, they're looking to you to set the way they're looking to you to tell them everything's okay. You don't you don't get the luxury of going in and freaking out and having that sort of reaction. But again, whenever you're just thinking about an almost expecting it. It's amazing how much clarity, stability and focus you're able to bring into a situation. And that's what I think of when all of this right is that even though we're never free from change, right? We're always free to decide how we respond to it. If we fixate on the limitations of a change, if we mourn that loss of normal, we inevitably are going to be overwhelmed by worry stress. and despair. We need to accept the fact that change happens and focus on what we do next. Because I think here again, the lesson that he taught me and I recognize what it sounds like to say out loud that one of the most profound lessons I've learned about myself in the last couple years came from a dog. But like I said, I think if you're open to it, I mean, she taught me to accept the past, and the present, but to fight for and to focus on the future. She immediately started fighting to create her new normal, she didn't dwell on what happened, why it happened, or the things in the past, it made me look back over my life in my career, and I said this before, to see how often I had fallen victim to that problem when there had been changes in my career, my company, my boss, my projects, and so much more how often I fell into that trap of mourning the loss of normal. You put me in a bad week, headspace it alienated me and wasted time that I could have been using to be more productive and I say all This knowing that in the past few days and weeks, we have been faced with something that is far more challenging than career problems. Because you know, this virus has created change on a scale that is so far out of our control that I think it can be easy to focus on this and feel like a victim of it. But here again, I think it's how we fight for the future. It's how we find ways of making things better, that are going to make the difference. Because to me, that's, that's what the crazy ones are. It's the ones who can find the way it's the ones who can stand up who can reach out to other people who can do these sorts of things, to just say, look, things have changed. And I'm not just going to mourn this, I'm not just going to accept it. I'm not, I'm going to be the one who's going to do something different. I'm going to be the one that tries even if it fails, even if it's failed spectacularly. Try right and understand Stand, the things are always going to change. And the more you can invest in that in you, the more you can understand that your greatest power, no matter what your role is, no matter what the size of your company is, no matter what your your personal life situation is, your ability and your willingness to fight for that future. That is the fucking definition of a crazy one to me, right? Is somebody who's willing to stand up and be counted and fight. I don't care if the battle is big, I don't care if the battle is small. That's what I want for all of us. That's what that's what I want the show to do is to try to help somebody in that way to be able to see the power that you have, even in the moments and feel powerless is to say, look, the change can start with me, and that I can be the one who's gonna be able to help to start to do this. Now look, also know that you don't need to do this alone. You never know how much support you Having to reach out for it and change is difficult. And in many cases it can be isolating. So also know to not go through this alone. Reach out to your friends, reach out to your family reach out to your co workers who you trust. In fact, reach out to me, right? I mean, I'm doing calls all the time with people who are going through things to try to help. Because whenever we put that out there whenever you put that energy out there in the world, when you are the reason why someone is going to get better today, you're the reason why someone's going to get stronger today. You're the reason why things aren't going to improve. That's when things really start to change, but it requires you to step up, step out, risk something, raise your voice and be a crazy one. And I'm sure we'll have more thoughts on this as this goes along. And I think we'll probably do a smaller episode to try to help out with a little bit more of the immediate problems but hopefully this helps, right because like I said, as I think this is something I've struggled with, a lot of people are struggling with and the scale of it That changes, changes. But it is a constant. So, you know, look if you want to you can, you know, I'll put the show notes for all this stuff I always write this stuff up for every show, just head over to the site, head over to the crazy one calm and you can get all the show notes there like I said, I know a lot of people find those helpful is a good sort of Reference Guide. I hope that'll be the case here. Look, you know, subscribe to the show, follow me on social media, blah, blah, whatever. But look, I hope this helps and and reach out, reach out to me reach out to your friends like you know start to form this community start to reach out to people and don't go through that change alone. And so I guess when we're we always do that everybody down and legal wants me to remind you the views here are not my own. They don't represent or see that. That's how it see there's a change right there. Anyway, that everyone is really going through to remind you that the views here are just my own. They don't represent any of my current or former employers that I say it every time because I mean it every time especially in times like this, but thank you for your time. You know, the time is truly the only luxury any of us have was incredibly humbled you want to spend any of it with me but go out and be a part of the positive change. Go out and and be be the one who steps up to make a difference to be the strength that maybe somebody else needs. And hey, all the while while you're doing it and as always, stay crazy