When Love Becomes Visable | Pastor Nicole Sweetman

Hospitality isn’t just good manners or a home‑cooked meal—it’s a core expression of the gospel.

In this message on biblical hospitality, we explore how God uses open doors, shared tables, and inconvenient love to make His love visible in a hurting world.

Rooted in 1 Peter 4:8–9, we see that “loving each other deeply” (agape) and “offering hospitality without grumbling” are not separate virtues, but two sides of the same calling. Hospitality becomes the concrete, sacrificial form of love that stretches us to our limits—mirroring Jesus’ own love on the cross (John 15:13; Romans 5:8).

Key themes in this sermon include:

• Hospitality as Mission
  In the early church, homes were essential for the spread of the gospel (Acts 2:42–47; Romans 12:9–13; Hebrews 13:1–2). We’re challenged to see our spaces—studio, house, or dorm—as gifts to be shared, not fortresses to hide in.
• When Love Becomes Visible
  The love God shows us—His covenant “chesed” love (Exodus 34:6; Hosea 6:6; Psalm 136)—is meant to be embodied in us. Hospitality is the visible demonstration of the inner revelation of Christ’s love (1 John 4:9–12; John 13:34–35).
• Jesus at Matthew’s Table (Matthew 9:9–13; Mark 2:13–17; Luke 5:27–32)
  Jesus calls Matthew from the tax booth and is soon reclining at his table with “tax collectors and sinners.” We see how:
  • Hospitality breaks down barriers – Jesus sees Matthew not as a lost cause but as a disciple in the making (1 Samuel 16:7; Luke 19:1–10).
  • Hospitality creates belonging – “Follow Me” is an invitation into family and discipleship (Psalm 68:6; Ephesians 2:19–22; John 1:12).
  • Hospitality points to a new identity – Where we sit, and with whom, shapes who we become (2 Corinthians 5:17; 1 Peter 2:9–10). Around Jesus’ table, sinners behold the face of God’s mercy.
  • Hospitality leads to healing – “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick” (Matthew 9:12–13; Luke 4:18–19; Isaiah 53:4–5). A simple meal becomes an operating table for the soul.
• From Martha 1.0 to Martha 2.0
  We contrast anxious serving (Luke 10:38–42) with joyful, resurrection‑shaped service after Lazarus is raised (John 12:1–3), inviting us to host from revelation, not resentment.
• The Table as a Place of Protection and Covenant
  Drawing from Psalm 23:5 and ancient Near Eastern customs, we see that God’s table is a place of guest‑rights, covering, and safety—even “in the presence of my enemies.” Here we live under His steadfast love and protection (Psalm 91; John 10:27–29).

This message will challenge you to:

• Let God soften rigid, self‑protective places in your heart (Ezekiel 36:26; Romans 12:1–2).
• See your home as an outpost of the kingdom—a mini‑cathedral where orphans, outsiders, and skeptics can discover they belong at God’s table (Luke 14:12–23; Revelation 3:20).
• Embrace hospitality as a primary way to share the gospel in everyday life (Colossians 4:5–6; 1 Thessalonians 2:8).

If you’ve ever wondered how to reach your neighbors, coworkers, or friends far from God, this message will help you see that evangelism may begin with something as simple—and as holy—as opening your door.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Today, I'm really excited to share with you all this message that is really just a passion of mine, and that's hospitality. You're like, what? Hospitality. I promise you it's gonna be real good, okay? But when you think of that word, what do you think of? For me, I immediately think of being 17, working at Chili's as a hostess with the Britney mic and my platform sneakers. Nowadays, I more think of it. I th when I see the smudges on my sliding doors from tiny little handprints, that brings me joy because I said, Oh, there's been joy in this house. We've been hospitable, we've had friends in this home. Maybe you think of a home-cooked meal, you think of the mint on your pillow at the hotel. Hospitality, from a general definition, is the benevolence done to strangers. Let's I, you know, define strangers, those outside of one's normal circle of friends. But biblical hospitality, though, it is much deeper. It's much richer than just expressing mere kindness. And so I want to take you to 1 Peter 4. In this passage, um, or in this letter, rather, Peter is writing to those he addresses as his elect exiles. It's like if you are trying to soften the blow, my elect exiles. But he's writing this letter that would have been spread throughout a few churches throughout the Roman provinces who are predominantly made up of um Gentile converts. And so they're facing a lot of persecution. They were facing a lot of troubles in their own communities, like their neighbors, the people they used to do business with, they're now experiencing marginalization and mockery for this new found faith. So Peter is writing to them, right? And he's saying, Hey, don't forget who you are, that you are a royal priesthood, God's special chosen possession. And in that truth, in the midst of their suffering, he writes this to them in 1 Peter 4:8. He says, Above all, above all the suffering, above all the mockery, above all of that, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Offer it without grumbling. Imagine the next time you are facing opposition at work. Imagine the next time you are in opposition with your loved one, and the advice given to you is hey, above all that, just love each other deeply and be hospitable. Serve so that God gets the glory. See, the love that Peter is calling us to is the word agape. And this is a love that is not based on feeling, but it is a willful decision of the mind. It doesn't just remain this internal feeling, but rather it is made evident through an outward expression with sacrifice being the ultimate extent of this love. And when Peter tells us to love like that deeply, that word deeply literally means to be stretched. It points to an athletic term describing muscles being stretched to its limit. Do you feel me? He is expressing the intensity that we are to exercise this love. This true agape love is a love that will constantly be stretched to its limits by the demands put on it. It makes me think of Jesus on the cross, his body, his muscles, his flesh being stretched to the limit to express the evidence of this agape love he holds for us, shining through. And this kind of love covers a multitude of sins. It doesn't overlook, but to cover means to forgive. So there he is, stretched out with the fullness of his love on display to cover our sins, to pay the debt that we cannot. So when Peter speaks to love each other deeply and then says, offer hospitality, we can read that and think he's just giving us a punch list of things to do, different list of virtues that are good to practice. But in reality, love and hospitality are not separate virtues but interconnected expressions of the same commitment. Hospitality is the tangible, actionable expression of this stretch to the limit love command we're given. Hospitality is the concrete care for others, it's the willful choice to love in its most demanding form because it's inconvenient. It centers the love we give on others, putting their needs before our own, putting us in the uncomfortable position of a servant. And this is why Paul says, Hey, do that without grumbling. Do that without grumbling, because to be hospitable and then have an inner complaint in our spirit is to be insincere. In Romans 12:9, Paul says, Hey, be genuine with your love. And at the end of that, he says, practice hospitality. It's like these two ideas are very much connected for us. So we're called to be a cheerful giver with this love. To be hospitable is the visible demonstration of the inner revelation of the radical love we have first been given in Christ. To be hospitable is the visible demonstration of the inner revelation of the radical love you have been given in Christ. And last Sunday, Jake taught us about this love that the brain needs joy in love in order to grow. And the Hebrew word for that love is Hassed. Hasid is the steadfast covenantal love, it's the foundational expression of God's character that is embodied in Jesus. And so too in us when we practice, when we joyfully offer hospitality. And so today I'm going to talk to us about when love becomes visible. Sound good? Lord, I thank you for this gathering. I thank you, Jesus. Truly, we thank you for your presence. Thank you for honoring us by being with us here today. And God, I pray, Lord, let you get the glory. Father, let your will be done right here in every heart, in any in every man, woman, and child. Let your will, your agenda be accomplished. In your name we pray. Amen. So in the first century, uh, Christians they didn't have church buildings yet. So they met in homes. And so hospitality was really crucial for not just the gathering of the people, but for the missionaries when the gospel would be spread. And so we what we need to understand is that hospitality was essential to the mission. Hospitality was essential to the gospel spreading. Is this how you see your home? Essential to the mission of Christ. Our homes, no matter what stage of life you're in, the studio apartment, the three-bedroom house with a yard, or somewhere in between, should be seen as a gift to be opened and shared, not something we retreat into. See, in our post-COVID world, our homes have become this like off-limits boundary line. This is my refuge, this is my safe haven. And yes, it should be, but it's also a platform for God to minister from. But so often we count the cost of inconvenience, and therefore we close our doors. And in doing so, I don't think we realize how detrimental this is to the mandate we have been given as followers of Christ and its role in not just shaping our own selves, but in shaping others to be more like him. When I was eight months pregnant with our second child, um Mabel, we had a home that we were renting. It was literally just, I mean, if you could cut through these mountains, you could walk to my house. And it was fine. It was a great home, but um it wasn't the ideal, it didn't have like the great, you know, entertaining backyard. Um, but Jake just really in this season of church was like, hey, we just need to, I just want to start gathering people together, just open invitation on a Sunday evening. It literally became like bring your own meat barbecue at the sweetman's house every Sunday evening. There were, I don't know, 30 to 40 people. I don't know who was showing up at my house. I had my five-year-old running around. I was very much pregnant. I just have this distinct memory of trying to get between my fridge and my oven and the people, and I'm like trying to open it, and no one's really noticing me struggling, the pregnant woman. And in that moment, I had a choice. Which version of Martha was I gonna be? Because there's 1.0 Martha. That silly little sister not helping, not doing her part. Jesus, look at her. Look at her. Why isn't she helping me? She's just sitting at your feet. Or there's Martha 2.0. We see Martha 2.0 after Lazarus is raised from the grave, and they put a dinner on in honor of Jesus. And it just little quick snippet, it says, Lazarus is next to Jesus. Mary, you know, here she comes, little sister getting all the attention again, pouring the oil out on his feet. And it just says this Martha served. Martha served joyfully, happily. Why? Because she had a resurrection power, new eternal life revelation. She had been with a Jesus who met her in her grief, who wept with her. She confessed with her own lips in the midst of her despair, Jesus, I know you are the Messiah. And she saw resurrection power put on display. See, we have a choice of what kind of Martha we're gonna bring to the table of hospitality. Are we gonna do it joyfully? Knowing that eternal life is here now, and that's what we get to flow out of. See, hospitality is opening a door and making a way for others to find room at God's table. How powerful is that? And no one did that better than Jesus himself. No one demonstration, no one demonstrated this kind of love being made visible through hospitality better than him. When we look at the story of Matthew being called by Jesus, you can find it in Matthew 9, starting in verse 9, if you want to join me in your Bibles. Let's read his story quickly here. It says, as Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. Follow me, he told him. And Matthew got up and followed him. And while Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they asked, Why does your teacher eat with the tax collectors and sinners? And on hearing this, Jesus said, It's not the wealthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means. I desire mercy, not sacrifice, for I have come not to call the righteous but sinners. The first thing I want you to know is that hospitality breaks down barriers. He saw a man named Matthew. What do you see when you see Matthew sitting in the tax collector's booth? Because I can tell you the world around him saw a man who chose to exchange purity for coins in his pocket. His family would have seen him as one who sat willingly in a seat of compromise, bringing shame upon himself. His fellow community would have seen him as a lost cause. But Jesus saw him as one worthy to be called upon. We see a man go from lost to being found. Hospitality will break down barriers, but you have to see people the way Jesus sees people. We have to share this Hasid love by holding a heavenly perspective. When I feel that judgmental thing rise up on the inside of me, yes, confession of a pastor, it happens. And you feel the sandpaper abrasiveness in your heart towards another, do you know what I have to do? I have to go, Lord, give me a heavenly perspective of my husband. That is some of the best marital advice I could give you. Time and time again, when Jesus saw the crowd, he didn't see a nuisance. He saw with compassion. And not just empathy that kept him there, compassion moved him. Hey Philip, how much money is it gonna take to feed these people? See, Jesus wants to partner with you, to express his compassion to those he puts around you, and it's gonna happen through ensuring we have a heart that's conditioned to respond, to see as they see, as he sees. Is your heart conditioned to see as God sees the ones that he is putting around you? Because when our hearts are rigid and stubborn, feeling prideful, feeling dry, it's hard to stretch that kind of love out, isn't it? Jake recently was having some back issues, and man, he was going to all the different types of doctors. We were about to get him MRI, and we had gone away for a quick little getaway. And to express how bad his back was, I drove us home. He gets really car sick. I'm never the one driving us. He was in so much pain, he literally was walking like this. And I'm like, oh my goodness, what is gonna happen to you? Um, so he goes to our neighbor's physiotherapist, who is like, you know, assessing him, and he's like, dude, your hips are just really locked up. You're just really tight. You need to stretch. So he helped Jake stretch, and then Jake, you know, is a good patient. He went home stretching, like literally in 24 hours. It was like night and day difference. It was crazy. It was like the painkillers couldn't do it, like everything he was trying wasn't working. What did he need to do? He needed to stretch his muscles to go from this, you know, to hula hooper, you know. And what you know, one of the main stretches he did. Do you guys know this one? This is called Child's Pose. Every morning you can see him. What does this remind you of? When we go low, when we condition ourselves to surrender, flexibility of the spirit is gonna come. It's gonna condition you to stretch to the limit. Amen? Okay, I gotta keep moving, so we're just gonna jump on to point number two. Hospitality creates belonging. Hospitality creates belonging. Follow me. Follow me, he told Matthew, and he got up and followed him. This wasn't just an invitation to an like a party moment. He was inviting Matthew into a whole new way of life, belonging to a family. He invited him to not just hang out, but to become a disciple, to be part of his crew. And that is God's desire for all of us. And we see this expressed in Psalm 68:6. God says that um he sets the lonely and families. There is a promise of belonging for every single one of us that God's desire is to provide you with the community, with the divine care, with the support and purpose that is found in his body. But commitment is becoming offensive. Commitment is becoming a new four-letter word that we don't like. It's not instinctive anymore. The rising generation, I love you so much. And I was like, hmm, how do they feel about commitment? And you know, they have this thing that they call a situation ship, which is a romantic relationship that lacks clear definition or long-term commitment. See, I don't understand, like Gen Z has to have a term for everything. Millennials are like, you're just flaky, like you're just, I don't know, scared of commitment. Let's just say what it is. Um, but this idea of situationship has gone into the workplace. We're now it's work situationship, right? We just like quietly quit. And it made me wonder, I wonder if we have church situationship, right? Where people just don't ever fully understand the power and the gift that happens when we choose to belong. It's like we're like Mabel's at the dinner table, my seven-year-old Mabel. I always said, I let her out of the high chair too early because her trying to eat a full meal. She's dancing, she's walking away, there's rice on the floor, there's chicken on the table, she comes back, eats a little bit more, then she's leaving again. The amount of times we're like, Mabel, sit in your seat and eat. There are some of you I wish I could strap in a high chair.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

But I keep pulling out your chair. Come sit, come, come. Let me make another meal for you. Come, come, sit, sit.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Sometimes we have to hold the door open longer for others to find their seat at the table. And that's when we have to recall. We are showing, we are being stretched to show a has said love, not based on feeling, but commitment, covenantal relationship. So endure the long, awkward getting to know you coffees, endure the long stare backs with no initial response. Endure trying to be breaking into the conversation and no one responds. Endure being left unread. Endure the late nights of cleaning up when no one hangs back to help you. Endure the increased grocery bill to host that group. Because when they finally sit down, it is worth it. And can I just remind you, it doesn't just come at a cost for us offering the hospitality. There is a cost that Matthew paid when he got up. Matthew 16, 25 says, Whoever wants to save their life will lose it. Whoever loses their life for me will find it. Sometimes losing your life for Jesus takes a minute. And so we have to be compassionate and gentle and patient and steadfast. Every time essentials is offered, we're not just trying to get you as a cog into a system. We're trying to open up a door. I'm trying to pull out a seat for you and say, you belong in family. Will you take a seat? It's happening today after church. Come take a seat. Come let us be hospitable. Come let us share this Hasid with you. Imagine if Jesus got impatient. We wouldn't have the gospel of Matthew. My goodness. Hospitality spreads the gospel. All of a sudden, cue the scene. He gets up and follows Jesus. And what happens next? A dinner party. Matthew is hosting Jesus at his table. Isn't it amazing that one of the first things he feels spontaneously led to do is to be hospitable, to immediately share with his friends, fellow tax collectors and sinners what he himself has been given. How amazing. How often do we just have a breakthrough moment with God? And we're like, okay, sorry, decline all my serving options, decline all the group options. It's just me and my Jesus era moment right now. Whatever Jesus gives us is love. It is our mandate to love each other deeply. Be hospitable. It spreads the gospel. Some of you are like, Jesus, how can I evangelize to this person? I'm believing for salvation. How can I be your light? How can I share you with others? Open your table. Open your home. Matthew reflects a whole heart devoted to God in this moment. There's no boundary lines. He brought him into his most intimate space. He brought him around all the friends, the new friends, the old friends. It was an opportunity to express his faith that he found to others, to practice, to put on demonstration what he had just received. We preach the gospel through practicing hospitality. Invite those in the darkness to come amongst other children of the light. Come around a table where they can begin to receive God's deepest desire for them. Reconciled relationship. Amen. Hospitality points to a new identity. See, it tells us that Jesus didn't just sit at the table with the disciples and now Matthew, but he sat at the table with tax collectors and sinners. Do you guys remember that movie, Mean Girls? Do you know that scene where they're showing the cafeteria map? Like where you sat mattered. It determined who you would be known as. Right? There's the jock table, the preps table, the desperate wannabe table, there's the burnout table, there's the plastics table. It mattered where you sat. And same too in the ancient world, a shared meal was a clear sign of identification. So just by Matthew putting on this dinner party and making a seat for his fellow sinners' friends, he was giving them a platform for them to behold a new identity because they would sit there and they would behold the face of the said. They would behold the face of God shining upon them. And Jake taught us brilliantly last week how this is how our identity is formed. The only way I can see and understand who I am is how others see me. That our brain, our identity center, is completely made up of mere new neurons. So you cannot see who you are on your own. It's in the reflection. I can tell Winston and Mabel, good boy and good girl, but their true identity is further formed by how I respond to them, how my face shines upon them, and they are paying deep attention. Mabel will look at me this morning. She goes, I was gonna use a sad example where she looked at my face in the morning and goes, Mommy, why does your face look like that? This morning, she comes to the breakfast bar, she goes, Mommy, come over here and let me look at your beautiful face. I was like, Wow. Praise God. I just got an upgrade. It changes our identity. It might be his table, his food. He footed the bill to put this thing on, but it was consecrated for Jesus' purpose. Hospitality leads to healing. Hospitality leads to healing. It tells us that when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, why does your teacher eat with the tax collectors and sinners? And on hearing this, Jesus said, It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. See, the Pharisees were concerned about all the man-made rituals to stay clean. And by the disciples and Jesus sitting at this table eating Matthew's food, they were deeming themselves as unclean. But Jesus' mission was so clear. And he shows us by just being present at the table that he came for the sick and he held the cure. He is visibly putting on display his declaration of love. That he said in Matthew 9, 6, I want you to know that I, the Son of Man, have authority on earth to forgive sins. And him just sitting there, just his presence before the sinners, before Matthew, is saying, Look at this, this is my love on display for you. Hospitality opens the doors for others to receive this gift. Jesus sitting at this table was fulfilling their basic human need of restored fellowship with the Father. It's amazing. Being hospitable, thinking of someone else before your own need brings people to the ultimate operating table. The ultimate operating table. They were like really, really trying to like get me in because I was kind of hanging out on the fringes, dating a guy I shouldn't be dating. And do you know how they hooked mine and fingered me? I don't know, is that a term? Chili dogs. Chili dogs. Yeah, I know. What? It's crazy. I was going through a phase in life where I really liked chili dogs. Um Georgia, I I can't tell, I don't know. And they learned that's what I liked, and they made the best ones I've ever had in my whole life. They got to know me. What is her preferences? What is she like? What would really make her feel loved? What would make her feel valued? Julie Doc? Sure. It got me at the table. I got to witness after that moment what it looked like to really be part of God's family. I got to learn what it looked like to have a godly marriage, by being in their home, by watching. I got to be refined and developed to be a true disciple or follower of Jesus because I got invited into a table setting. Jesus ends this scene by giving this judgment, by giving the judgmental Pharisees something to ponder on. Quoting Hosea 6, 6, he says to them, I desire mercy, not sacrifice. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners. I desire mercy. That word mercy translated in its Hebrew is Hesed. I desire Hesed. Jesus is saying, Do you see this table? Do you see this guy Matthew? Do you see the intention? Do you see this moment? This is Hesed. This is what I desire. This is what I'm after. Just in closing here, Psalm 23:5, David writes, You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Eating with someone indicates entering into an intimate relationship with them. And so here David is expressing how God's not just merely providing food, he's extending radical hospitality and declaring an intimate covenant relationship with him. And it's in the midst of his enemies. Here Jesus is sitting at this table. He's not just feasting and providing a nice dinner moment with these people, but rather, what is he doing? He is declaring intimate covenant relationship with them. In the midst of the enemies, in the midst of the pointing fingers, in the midst of the condemnation. And in the ancient East, a host was obligated to safeguard his visitors from all the enemies at all cost. So being seated at God's table, the enemy could possess no threat because they would hold guest rights. So David is saying, I'm confident to sit at God's table, where I am safeguarded, where I am protected and kept in. When we take a seat, when we belong, we receive not just nourishment for our own spirits, but we receive a confidence in the Lord so that you can go out, so that your home can be many cathedrals spread out throughout the city, inviting the orphans to come and receive the new covenant relationship with Him. Do you see the prize that you offer? Do you see the prize that has been offered to you through the stretch of hospitality? We find a covering, a Hasid that protects us from the threat of the enemy and that invites the lost to come and find where they belong. Why don't we stand here today? I have two quick responses I want to give us an opportunity to. Present yourself once again as an offering to the Lord. Who is that here today? It says, I recognize there is a hardness, a rigidness in my spirit, and I need to go low here today. Does that speak to anyone? Yeah, just come on down. The ministry team will come soon and begin to pray and we'll release service, but just make your way down to the altar. So proud of you guys. The mobility, the expansion, the stretching of his mission is dependent on the willingness of our spirit to respond. There's others of us here that maybe you identify more with Matthew. You've been sitting in your seat of comfort. You've been living. If you're really to be honest for yourself for the glory of man, you know you have coins in your pocket. You have a title, but what you really need is to experience the compassion of Jesus. You need compassion to minister to you here today. So if that's you, and you want to take your seat, you need to experience the compassion of Christ, who is that here today? I would love to pray for you. Come on down. Let's pray. Thank you, Jesus. If there's anyone else, I'm just gonna ask that we sing and then we will release. But if anyone else, you know that there's a rigidness you want conditioned in your heart, or you need to be ministered to here today, you want to receive the compassion of Christ. I invite you to make your way.