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Getting a good night’s sleep is essential for both physical and mental health. If you struggle with falling asleep or staying asleep, there are several simple strategies you can try to improve your sleep quality. Here are some proven tips:

1. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule
2. Create a relaxing bedtime routine 
3. Limit screen time before bed
4. Keep your bedroom cool and dark
5. Avoid caffeine and heavy meals late in the day

Transcript

Intro 0:03

Welcome to the weekly sermon podcast of River City Church in Jacksonville, Florida. Our mission is to awaken people to the transforming presence and power of God's love. To find out more, visit rivercitychurch.com, and thanks for listening.

Chapter 1

Tom Rossi 0:21

My name is Tom Rossi. I am a member here of River City Church. If you know me, you might be wondering, you're like, He looks different this morning. I do. I don't want to cause any people to stumble, but I may have lost some weight recently. We're in a series on hunger and thirst. And so if you're wondering, how did he do it? I've been hungry since January. Seriously, what happened? Seriously, how did I lose the weight? This is what happened. At the office, one of the guys... put out a challenge. It was supposed to be a 20-day challenge. And the idea was you work out every day for 20 days, 20 minutes. I'm like, I can totally do that, right? 20 minutes, not a problem. I don't have any issues, but I could certainly do this 20-day challenge. Well, my wife, around the same time, has also allegedly, I snore, okay? Okay. And I would say, I mean, I've never heard myself snore, so I don't know if it's true, but she does say that the best gift that I ever gave her was what's called a sleep crown. If anybody's ever seen that, it's a pillow that she like puts over her ear. And like, if you wake up in the middle of the night, you just see her like scrunched up with it. Like, to drown out any noise, right? So maybe there's some truth to it.

Tom Rossi 1:53

So this 20-day challenge comes out and I just sign up for it. I'm like, okay, cool, I'm in. I think it was all a joke just to get Fat Tom to lose some weight because no one else did it, okay? But I signed up right away and I did not know that there was a diet. Not only was it 20 days of exercise, but you had to go on a diet for 20 days. Okay, now here... a principle of Tom Rossi that I had for a long time. I had to give it up. I had to give up this principle. The principle was, look, I will exercise or I will diet, but I'm not doing both.

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Tom Rossi 2:29

Okay. So at different points in my life, I have done a diet. I have done exercise, but I'm not doing both. Well, too late. I've already signed up. And the diet consisted of, you know, pretty much the low carb carb uh you know diets that you do high protein i didn't realize how much how little protein i eat all this kind of stuff um but i'm in and my body is craving sugar okay like some people you know it's hard like oh it's so hard to give up bread oh it's so hard to give up sugar ice cream, like any kind of like sweets. Like my body is just screaming, what are you doing? You're going to die, right? You need some sugar to survive, okay? This is what it's like, like for 20 days. So anyways, I'm happy to report. I survived the 20 days. I learned a lot about myself in that. And according to my wife, I no longer snore. So I'm pretty happy about that. So what does this have to do with us this morning? It's like getting in touch with denying yourself something, right? Some of you this morning, I know you're in Lent. You're in your last week of giving up something through the Lent season, right? right? I am not claiming credit. I gave up sugar for fat, not for Jesus, okay? But there's people who have given up something during this season and you've denied yourself. You said, you know what, I'm going to deny myself something to be able to grow my relationship with Jesus. And we're nearing the end of that season, but I thought it would be a good opportunity for us to talk about It's so hard for us. Why is it so hard for us to deny ourself? What does Jesus have to say in the midst of this? And so I want to start with just saying, like, why is it so hard? We are all self-centered, okay? We're all self-centered. And it's not because we're all narcissists, though some of us are, to be fair. It's just by nature. By nature, we're self-centered, okay? Everywhere I go, there I am. Everything that I see, it's through my eyes, right? Whenever anybody says to you, oh, I see your perspective. No, you don't. You're lying. You see your own perspective because it's filtered through your eyes, your emotions, your experiences, everything, right? You have never truly seen someone else's perspective. You might be able to relate to them, But we are all self-centered. And some of us, we're self-centered, and we love ourselves. Okay? I have to be honest. I like Tom Rossi. I get the guy. Seriously. Same favorite movies, same favorite foods, all the things he likes to do, I like to do. Big fan. Right? So you could say he's self-centered. And some people... They don't really like themselves, but they're still self-centered. If they're thinking about their own insecurities, why don't people like me or this person doesn't like me or this thing happened to me and I'm reliving it. In either case, it's self-centered. You were at the center of your thinking and it's so hard for us to deny ourselves because we're self-centered. It's about being stuck. right, with yourself at the center, whether you were admiring or despising what you see. We all struggle with being self-centered. And Jesus has a teaching, and the whole New Testament has a teaching which challenges our self-centered nature. And so this is the scripture that we're going to be diving into this morning, and it's in Matthew chapter 16. Verses 24 and 25. Then Jesus said to his disciples, whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves. Take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it. But whoever loses their life for me will find it. Let me pray for us. God, we pray this morning that you would speak to us. Holy Spirit, I pray that you would move in our hearts, in our souls, that you would move our desires, that you would speak to us about those things that you are calling us into. God, that you would give us the strength to deny ourselves, those things that distract us, those things that, they may be good things, but they hold us back from what you have for us. Lord, I pray that you would speak to us this morning through your scripture and through your spirit. Amen. So let's look at this verse and try. I know if you've been in the church for a while, you've heard this, you've read this. Just try to grasp how radical this statement is. How radical. Because we've heard it so much. But imagine, imagine you ask someone, hey man, what's the secret to life? And their answer is death. You're like, that's either radical or stupid, right? That is so contrary to what we think. So let's break this down as if it's the first time. Jesus said with disciples, whoever wants to be my disciple. Let's be clear. Jesus is saying, if you want to be my disciple, that means if you want to train yourself in the way that I am teaching, if you want to be like me, that's who he's addressing, right? And so for some of you this morning, you're like, I'm not there yet. Like, I don't know what I think about this Jesus. I don't know about all the things that he's claimed and who he is. I don't know about that. Well, stick with me, but this truly isn't necessarily for you. Because he's saying, look, when you are ready, when you've made the decision and you've said, you know what? I've tasted in the goodness of what Jesus has offered. I believe, I believe, you know what we're gonna celebrate next week? A resurrection that changed the course of history. A man who changed the world. I believe in that. And now I want what he has for me. That's who he's saying. He's saying, if you wanna be my disciple, if you wanna follow me, if you wanna experience everything that I have, if you wanna be my disciple, you must deny everything. Deny ourselves. Not self-hatred. He's not saying you should hate yourself. He's saying you should have mastery over your desires. You should be able to speak to yourself. No. When my body screamed for sugar, I needed to be able to scream back. No. Kit called me Grumpy Tom during that time. Right? We need to be able to deny ourselves, have mastery. This is an invitation from Jesus to get out of those self-centered instincts and to be able to say no to ourselves. We naturally resist. If we're left to our own devices, if we're left to our own nature, we're not gonna gravitate towards self-denial. We're gonna gravitate towards comfort, control, fulfillment, right? Naturally, that's just where we go. We have to fight against our nature and being fat, right? Like all the things that go along. I feel like I'm making fun of fat people. I'm not making fun of fat. I'm just saying for myself, if I'm left to my own devices, what's going to happen is I'm going to eat donuts in the morning and ice cream at night. Why? Because it tastes so good, right? If we're left to our own devices, we won't say no to ourselves. But if we fight our nature, if we speak to our hearts and say, no, no, even though that's what you think you want, I actually know better. Jesus says, if you wanna be my disciple, you must deny yourself. There's not enough sermons on denying ourselves. There's not enough sermons on gluttony. There's not enough sermons on, man, we eat a lot. We don't say no to a lot. Why? Well, I've got the money. I can afford it. I can go get myself a Big Mac. Why wouldn't I get a Big Mac? Being able to speak to ourselves and deny ourself. And he goes on to say, my disciple must deny themselves, take up their cross. Again, think about how radical that is. When Jesus is talking to his disciples and he says, if you want to be my disciple, you need to deny yourself. You need to be able to say no to yourself. You need to be able to speak to your hearts. You need to be able to take up your cross. That's not like a necklace for them. They didn't have the necklace back then. It was like the electric chair. And so when he's saying this, what are they thinking? You need to take up your cross and it's this picture of people mocking you, of people calling out slurs because you're carrying a cross. You've been identified as an alternate, a person that's not in line with the culture. You're not in line with who we are. You are a traitor to your people. And he says, they mocked me. They're gonna mock you. Take up your cross. There's an element in our following of Jesus where we're saying no to ourselves. There's an element in our following of Jesus where we may take up our cross and be persecuted. And you know, we've talked a lot about missions. It happens. It happens. We can get so disconnected from it. We don't realize persecution happens. Real persecution. Yeah, we have persecution here. Right? Like they might make fun of Christians. They might do a little thing here or there. But real persecution happens. There should be some element in our pursuit of Jesus where we're denying ourselves and we're open to the possibility of being mocked, of being persecuted. And he says, take up their cross and follow me. He's not just a guide. Right? He's saying, you need to do these things. But he's more than just a guide. He's the path. He's the path himself. At one point he says, I am the way. I am the truth. I am the life. Not my teaching. Not like, hey, write these proverbs down and follow them and you're going to have a great life. He's saying, no, I am, I am, I am. There is a claim there. That is so radical in the person of Jesus that he says, I am the way, the truth, the life. If you want those things, I'm telling you, follow me. And then the most crazy, he says, for whoever wants to save their life will lose it. But whoever loses their life for me will find it. You're like, what? Jesus, that don't make no sense, right? It doesn't make sense. The words don't make sense. And so again, if you're here and you're like, you haven't experienced Jesus yet, you might be saying that doesn't make sense. But for those of us who have experienced it, it makes sense. It doesn't mean it's easy, but we know, we know what it means. Whoever loses their life for me will find it real life. Real life isn't found in grasping for life, but in letting go, letting go. If you seek life more than you seek me, you will have neither. If you seek me more than you seek life, you will have both. Jesus is making an outrageous claim. If you seek life more than you seek me, you will have neither. If you seek me more than you seek life, you will have both. If you keep yourself at the center, you lose the life that ultimately you were made for. that there is a life for you to experience that is Jesus-empowered, it's somehow working in concert with what God is doing to become the person that God actually made you to be. C.S. Lewis said it this way, he says, the more that we get, the more we get what we now call ourselves out of the way and let him take us over, the more truly ourselves We become. The more that we can get out of the way and let God do the work in us, the more we become who we've been created to be. We give up ourselves to allow him to empower us to become who we truly are. Man, this is radical. This is difficult. This is hard. This is new truth. This is challenging them in a way they've never been challenged before. And so then a guy comes along named Paul and he's persecuting the church because he's a good Jewish man. And he says, you know what? You guys are, you are saying things that are contrary to what we've believed as Jews for years. You have claimed things that we don't believe to be true. And Paul is doing a good job and he's a good man and he's at the height of his career. And he says, I am going to squash this movement. And he is persecuting the church. He is chasing it down. And he has an experience with Jesus. Jesus shows up. He's like, I know you. I know you. And he reveals himself in a way that changes the course of Paul's life. And this is what he writes. Paul, in a letter to the Philippians, he says this. He says, whatever were gains to me, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ. Paul is saying that everything that I thought was life was nothing. not just the bad things, not just the sin in his life, the good things, everything that he had accomplished, he says, I consider it all a loss. That guy is dead. I am denying those things. I am pressing on to something that I've experienced, which is so much more. The life of following Jesus is greater than anything that I've known before. And he realized that everything that I thought was life was nothing. compared to knowing Jesus. At one point, and I hope, I hope this verse unlocks something. My prayer is that this verse unlocks something with people this morning, because it did for me. And it's Paul, in another point, he's writing a letter to the church in Galatia, and he says this. He says, I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. I've been crucified with Christ and I no longer live. I am a new creation. I am something new. That guy, he's dead. For me, when I first became a Christian, this unlocked something powerful in me. It's like things clicked. When I finally understood this idea that I have been crucified with Christ, that guy is dead. I remember I was just my family dynamics, my dad and my brother, like we were pretty competitive and like we would, you know, we're always just ragging on each other. And I just remember the freedom that came after I became a Christian and they're kind of like making fun of me and stuff. And I'm like, you're making fun of a dead man, right? Like, I'm not that person. I am this new creation. I am Christ empowered. I am a new thing. And so you're beating on a dead band. There's no reason for me to respond. There's no reason for me to be hurt. There's no reason for me to defend myself. I have been crucified with Christ. That guy is dead. And there is a new life that is so much more empowering. It's so much more life-giving. It's not just that we lose something when we deny ourselves. It's not just that we lose something, it's that we gain something greater. That's not a loss. It's freedom. It's liberation. What? Denying yourself is freedom? True liberation comes from denying yourself? Yes. It's crazy. True freedom comes not from indulging every desire, but from restraining them. That's radical. It's different. It changed the world. This philosophy, we can't understand because we're steeped in it. We've grown up in it, right? Even people that aren't Christians grew up in a culture that was radically impacted by this teaching, right? This teaching changed the world. Okay, it's a bold statement. Follow me. This was so counter-cultural then, so counter-cultural then. This is in the midst of cultures that stressed power, pride, strength. The Greeks, the Romans, they were familiar with these things. In the ancient world, the strong had the right to do what they pleased with the weak, right? Right? If you were strong, you could do whatever you want because you're strong. Humility wasn't elevated. Humility was a weakness. Humility was to be mocked. If you were humble, they would take advantage of you because you're an idiot. Humility. This culture is built on strength. And then Jesus comes along and he says, no, you should deny yourself. You should restrain yourself. You should say no to yourself. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something. Just because you can do something doesn't make it right. And more than that, just because you're strong doesn't mean that you should take advantage of the weak. In fact, you should protect the weak. Radical change that occurs. When Jesus says, deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me, it wasn't just hard for them to hear, it was revolutionary and it reshaped civilization. There's a guy, not a Christian, not a Christian. I mean, Tom Holland wrote a book a couple of years ago called Dominion. And he talks about how Western civilization changed as a result of the teaching of Christianity. Not from a perspective of, oh, I'm a Bible-believing Christian. He's just looking historically, and he's saying there was a date. There was a date. We're going to celebrate it next week. There was a date that changed the world. There was a date when people said, you know what? All that stuff that Jesus said was true. Why? Because I just saw him walking down the street. And it changed my life. And so now I will deny myself. Now I will see myself crucified. I will see myself living the life that he talked about because it must be true. And so Tom Holland, a secular historian, looks at history and he's like, something happened here. Something happened here. And then all of a sudden he says, you can track, you can track the growth of Christianity. How? He was talking about the agency of women. He was saying that women, that the, that... I'm not calling women weak. I'm just saying that's what he said. The weak were elevated. Women, children, the sick were elevated. And you could track the progress of Christianity as it just spread through the world because people were set free. People were liberated. How were they liberated? Through self-denial, through the powerful. He said this, Christianity constrained the powerful and elevated the vulnerable. Why? Because Jesus said, deny yourself. It doesn't matter how strong you are, deny yourself. Why? To follow him. True strength is manifested itself, not in the exercise of power, but in the willingness to give it up. And it changed the world. It was counter-cultural then, it's counter-cultural today. It's countercultural today. Jesus is called to deny ourself. What does it look like? There should be some element of Christianity that should stand apart from culture and say that there's some element of denying yourself. What is it in our culture? What is it? All right, I'm gonna go PG-13. Where's Jared? Jared, you're back there. Just a little PG-13, okay? Can we talk about sex for a second? I'm so glad kids' parents are here. Thanks for coming. Can we talk about sex for a second? It's okay. It's River City Church, right? When we think about how in our culture today, this concept of denial, where does it challenge us? In our sexual culture today, any constraints placed on sex or sexuality is met with resistance. Correct? Correct? Any, any kind of restrictions that we place on it are like, have you lost your mind? What are you? Some kind of prude? Oh, that's so repressive. Commitment before sex. Crazy. Restraint of any kind. Prude. Celibacy. I just got to get it out there. I've been thinking about this word a lot. Celibacy. We don't talk about celibacy. Celibacy. I'm talking about this morning, baby. Celibacy. If you don't know what it means, restraining yourself. Okay? That's what celibacy is. I don't want to go more detailed than that. Again, so glad to have you, Rogers and Kay. Celibacy. The idea of celibacy is freaking nuts in our culture. Literally, that's the way they talk about it. Like you would have to be some kind of twisted psycho to talk about that. The idea that we would restrain ourself. Again, another, totally, this is not a Christian. It's actually comical. It's actually comical. I'll tell you in a second. So her name is Louise Perry and she's a feminist who's a writer and a podcaster. And she wrote a book called The Case Against the Sexual Revolution. And her point was just looking at our culture and going, what the heck is wrong? And how do we fix it? And she was at the time when she wrote the book, she was single. I think she was single or she was newly married. She was young. And she was just talking about where we were as a culture in terms of sex, sexuality. And she was talking about hookup culture, dating apps, pornography, sex divorced from emotion. This idea that you can have sex and it has nothing to do with emotions, right? And she's like, women are unhappy emotionally. And she was doing it strictly from the women's perspective. She's like, women are unhappy. What happened? How did we get here? And you know what she ended up kind of concluding? Maybe just maybe those Christians knew something because she could track. And she said, you know what's happening is we're going backwards. to a more pagan culture of when Christianity came and said, you know what? Just because you can doesn't mean that you should. Literally, Christianity came and said, look, men, you need to restrain yourself. You're married. Just because you want to have sex with somebody else doesn't mean that you should. You're married. Or you're not married. Just because you want to have sex with somebody doesn't mean that you should. And so it's comical. She had a podcast episode that was for Valentine's Day and she's like laughing at herself. And she's like, I find myself sounding like a Christian evangelist because all of my advice to young women is what Christians say. And it's actually both Tom Holland and Louise Perry are examples of secular people that are now in the orbit of Jesus, right? Louise Perry, especially, she's like, you know what? Maybe I'm a Christian. All I know is this seems true. And if this is true, then what else is true? And so she started to go to church. She's like, I'm not there yet, but it's so true. What's my point? That culture is challenged by this concept. And we have to be careful, even within the church culture, quickly, Even in church culture, you know, at one point, Jesus raises the bar for marriage really high. And he's like, look, if you're married, you're married, and that's it. Like, you don't get divorced for any reason. And the disciples are like, whoa, dude, it's better not to get married. And what does Jesus say? Does he say, oh, well, to be a good Christian, you should get married? No, no. He says some are eunuchs for the kingdom, right? Okay, eunuchs, I know I lost some men there. I just want to take this opportunity to announce a new men's ministry that we're starting. You said we don't have any men's ministry next week. Right, it would have made sense to them, okay, more than it does to us. Like I don't think they would have, yeah, okay. So when he says it, what he's saying is that there are people who have chosen a life of celibacy for the kingdom and they're to be honored for that. They're responding to the call of God to do something greater. Again, in our culture, for sure, that's crazy. But even within church culture, think about it. What happens? This happened to me. I became a Christian. And so they're like, okay, join a singles group. Well, why? So you can meet your spouse. Okay, then you get married. Then what happens? Oh, well, when are you going to have kids? Oh, so then you get into the family ministry, right? And so we put people on this conveyor belt, right? rather than the radical call of self-denial to say that maybe, just maybe, there's the opportunity to be like, oh, I don't know, Jesus, Paul, both who chose to say, you know what? It's not that those things are wrong. It's not that those things are bad, but I have a call on my life that I want to respond to that is greater than And I will be celibate. I will deny myself. Does that mean that I don't have the same urges, the same desires? No, but I will deny myself to follow him and to experience something that's much greater. We in the church, we need to remember this. Tim Keller, ironically, in his marriage book makes this point. He says, Christianity was the first religion to hold up single adulthood as a viable, respectable way of life. In other words, before Christianity, before Jesus, and especially in the teachings of Paul, before that, if you were single, there's something wrong. There's something wrong with you. Jesus, Paul, lift that up and say, no, no, no. There are people that have given themselves to the kingdom that are pursuing him and it is a good thing. Wow. What does it look like practically? I mean, it's self-centeredness. It's denying ourself. It's fighting ourself. There's so many different applications that we could go over. But at the beginning is breaking out of this self-centered perspective. And it's so hard to do. I am literally, I am literally putting together this message. So I'm like doing all my research. I'm putting together all my notes. And I had to do this business trip. And on Monday, I'm flying through the Atlanta airport. And it was, it was, it was, it was bad. I was going to use a bad word. It was bad. Okay. They had all these thunderstorms and they canceled all these flights. And I literally get a text message from Delta that just says, hey, your flight's been canceled. Sorry. And you're like, whoa. And so I'm there in the Atlanta airport and there's people everywhere and they are all out to get me. Every freaking one of them. They just did not want me to get home. They did not want me to see my family. Right. And I'm like, I'm fighting it. You know, I got to get out of this place. I get out of this place. And so at one point I'm like, I'm just going to, I'm just going to random gates that have planes. Like, and so I go to this one and it's like, there's people everywhere. And, and I'm just like, I'm just like doing a little wheel dance, you know, like to kind of, to kind of get up to the front. You know what I'm saying? To get up the front. There's no gate agent. There's no gate agent. No. And I'm like, I'm about to lose my mind. because everybody's out to get me, my perspective. Everybody wants me to stay here in Atlanta for the rest of my life. And I start to notice the guys next to me. I start to notice the guys next to me and I hear them talking. They're on the same plane that got canceled. They're trying to get home to their families. They're in the same boat. Right? And did I go, oh, let me pray for you. No, I said, freaking get out. I jumped right in the front. It's so hard to get out of our self-centered thinking. What's the application? What is it for you? What is it that God's calling you to this morning? The biggest thing. You know, Jared has preached this a couple times, and he said it at the beginning of this series on hunger and thirst, and I think it is so true, and it has helped me in a lot of different ways, is this idea that there are deep desires that are the truest desires of our hearts. They are the things that the Holy Spirit has moved in our life and called us into, and then there are strong desires, the strong desire that we have for comfort, for convenience, for approval, right? Right? My strong desire for ice cream. Right? But then there are deeper desires for love, faithfulness, purpose, meaning. Those are those deep desires. And we deny ourselves, not because we're rejecting those desires, but because we reorder those desires. We put those deep desires up front, behind them. are the stronger desires. For me, man, it made it so much easier for me when I'm doing this stinking diet, right? Because I have a strong desire to continue to sleep in the same bed as my wife. And there is the chance that one day she just kicks me out because I snore and says, why don't you sleep in the other room, right? There is this deep desire that I want to continue to sleep in the same bed. There's this deep desire that I have that I would love to see my kids get married. I would love to see grandchildren. That is a deep desire that I have, but there's a strong desire for some caramel covered ice cream, right? If I can reorder those desires, if I can control myself, if I can speak to myself, if I can deny myself, then I can experience the life that God's called me into. True freedom comes not from indulging every desire, but restraining them. Okay, all of this talk that you've heard And you're thinking, why would anybody do that? If you haven't experienced Jesus in a way that makes you say, yes, I want to do that, let me just tell you quickly that Jesus didn't just teach self-denial. He didn't just make these outrageous claims and say, deny yourself. He embodied it. He embodied it. Paul would make the point that Jesus didn't consider his equality with God He was equal with God. He didn't consider his equality with God something to be grasped, something to be held onto, something to be used to his own advantage. Instead, he chose, he chose to be found in flesh and blood as a man and not as an emperor of some great kingdom, but as a carpenter in a podunk area of the world in a podunk time in the history of the world. He embodied self-denial. He took on flesh and blood and he did that. Why? to set us free from ourselves, to love us, to show the heart of the Father. And he invites us to trust him with more of who we are. He invites us to lay down more of the life that we had for a life that we can't imagine with him. This morning, you have that invitation to lay down that life that's shaped by your strong desires and to receive the life that fulfills your deepest desires.