Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
LA’s #1 avant-garde personal development program. I'm Emerson Dameron. I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.
The home of Ask a Sadist, Bite-Sized Erotic Thrillers, and the First Church of the Satanic Buddha. Levity saves lives.
Regularly scheduled episodes premiere on the first Wednesday of the month on KCHUNG Los Angeles.
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes
How to Kill Your Boring Podcast: The National Lampoon Radio Hour Never Happened
YOUR PODCAST SOUNDS LIKE MISSIONARY POSITION FEELS
(AND THAT'S A CRIME AGAINST CREATIVITY)
Listen up, you polished content criminals and pristine audio addicts. Your podcast sounds like it was recorded in a therapist's waiting room, and your audience is falling asleep between ads for mail-order mattresses.
But stay tuned, because we're about to commit grand theft audio.
This isn't another "how-to" episode for good little broadcasters. This is a jailbreak for your creative libido. We're teaching you to fuck with format like a Venus in Retrograde having a punk rock awakening.
Get ready for:
- How to make Brian Eno mate with a police scanner and birth pure audio gold
- Why your expensive microphone is cock-blocking your authenticity
- The Venice Beach guide to turning chaos into content that makes NPR clutch its pearls
- Recording at the DMV: A masterclass in turning mundane hell into magnetic content
WARNING: This episode contains:
- Dangerous levels of creative permission
- Instructions for audio crimes against mediocrity
- A ritual for forgetting everything you learned in broadcasting school
- The savage truth about why your podcast partnerships fail (hint: it's not them, it's you)
Your audience isn't bored – they're being held hostage by your good intentions and cowardly adherence to professionalized standards of decorum. We're here to stage a rescue mission.
Think heist movie meets performance art meets spiritual awakening. Because your podcast shouldn't just fill silence – it should violate it with purpose.
Stop trying to sound like everyone else. Start sounding like yourself on your most insolent day. Raw creativity doesn't need a pop filter or a content calendar. It needs you to stop being so fucking polite about your passion.
Available now wherever you get your permission to create chaos.
Remember: The best podcasts don't follow trends – they leave trends gasping for air in a Venice Beach alley.
Trust me. I've committed every audio crime in the book, and that's exactly why you should listen.
Welcome to the revolution between your ears.
P.S. If this episode doesn't make your producer cry, you're not playing it loud enough.
And all the lessons in love, leadership, lechery, and letting go you've come to expect from The Only Good Podcast™!
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is LA's number-one avant-garde personal development program. New episodes premiere on KCHUNG Los Angeles on the first Wednesday of the month.
The writer, producer, host, and witty and wounded romantic hero is Emerson Dameron, who is wholly responsible for its content.
I love you, personally. Levity saves lives.
Podcasts are in trouble. The easy money is gone, the formats are stale. We need dangerous ideas, and I've got them. As long as everyone's scared of their shadow, we're stuck with true crime. But rather than shows about crime, make shows that are crimes. Bring celebrities on and rob them. That would be a baller show and a better revenue model. Loneliness kills. Podcasts make it worse. Comedy shows that don't entertain, provoke or tell jokes that do profit from parasocial relationships will be banned from streaming platforms and forced to go on tour until they can prove they got their listeners befriended IRL. Everyone's getting fired. So embrace amateurism. Be the punk rock, drill rap, college radio or podcasting. Your production value should exist where incompetence becomes indistinguishable from malice. I'm Emerson Dameron, the idea machine. You say podcasting. Remember, don't start a podcast, you wouldn't die for. Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is on K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM around Chinatown worldwide on the World Wide Web kchungradioorg. Medicated-minutescom is the website for the show my name is.
Speaker 1:Emerson Dameron site for the show. My name is Emerson. Dameron. I'm the producer, writer, host, etc. For the show which, after its broadcast premiere every first Wednesday of the month, becomes the only good podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm not afraid of competition, I am tired of being alone at the top, the forefront of this medium of podcasting, which has had boom times and bust times, but all of them sound pretty much the same. There are like three or four different formats that podcasts use. It's a completely open landscape. It's a blank canvas. You can do anything in the medium of audio with your podcast and most people are not taking any risks. I've had it, so I'm going to give you everything you need to watch the only other good podcast.
Speaker 2:Or if you have a podcast.
Speaker 1:You can soup it up using these tools If you're already on the way, as long as you're not doing it stupidly. Sometimes it's harder to correct entrenched bad habits. Consider this starting over from scratch. Of course, you're never starting entirely from scratch with a creative endeavor, as there is nothing new under the sun, just different combinations of existing things. So think about that. What are some things you could combine? Well, you could do a police scanner and Brian Eno's music for airports. That could be interesting. But what if you throw in a third thing, a catch?
Speaker 1:The police scanner is all about the lives of people who are connected to one person, and that person is the audience for your podcast. You should have a niche, you should specialize. The most specialized you can get is doing an entire podcast for one person, ideally a rich person or perhaps a popular person. Some of their friends might horn in and kibitz on the podcast, even if it's just for Alan Lancaster, a very charming and popular dashing recipient of the podcast. He was not rich yet, although he almost certainly will be, but he had a lot of friends and they all want to hear the podcast too, because they want dirt on Alan Lancaster, so they can get one up on him. Man, if you listen to this podcast, you do learn a lot about people connected to Alan.
Speaker 1:The police scanner includes private messages sent on signal or using telegram that they thought would be hidden forever, and Alan gets to hear what his friends say about him when he's not around. Don't seek out that information. You can help it. The thing is, if it's right there on a podcast that you can download anywhere you get podcasts it's pretty much impossible not to listen. So you definitely have Alan listening. You have his rapt attention.
Speaker 1:Be, your own worst genius self. Be free, be feral, be wild. Foam at the mouth. Ingest copious amounts of research chemicals. Do heroic doses of the wildest stuff you can find Vines, ferns, any poisonous animal Amphibians are the best. Whatever you can find. Even if the venom doesn't get you high, it'll mess you up. There's a lot of overlap. Do this to screw up your courage, because it takes mad courage to do the only other good podcast. You also need to know what's what and who's who and what's going on. So pay attention, get a lot of inputs. Do life experiments. Make your life fascinating and make yourself fascinating.
Speaker 1:Find the right collaborators. When you find people that you gel with, everything gets a lot easier. However, remember you are one ill-chosen collaboration away from absolute ruin, reputational disaster, chaos, confusion, stagnation and irrelevance. If you collaborate with the wrong person, all that will be yours, so keep that in mind. Work with special people. He'll make you feel special.
Speaker 1:If you feel special. You are special. I know that because I do a lot of research for this show. You've got your topic. Whatever is going on in Mr Lancaster's life, research it to the ends of human knowledge. Know everything you need to know about it. Know the salient controversies in the field. Have some counterintuitive takes. Be a little bit contrarian. Get the squares riled up. Nobody likes them. They'll like you because they dislike the squares so much that they tend to like anyone the squares hate, at least for a time. And that's your window of opportunity when that opens.
Speaker 1:Forget about it. Forget the whole thing. Forget you're even doing a podcast. Go hike in the Bologna wetlands. Leave your phone at home or take it with you and smash it with a hammer, or just throw it off a bridge. And forget all of this. Forget everything you ever knew. Forget your own name. That'll be easier if you bring a lot of your drugs along with you, or a chemical picnic, if not. Find a gas station and huff some gasoline. Free your mind, unwind. Then come back to the environment where you do the only other good podcast, the Alan Lancaster Report or whatever you're calling it. Hopefully you're more interesting than that it should at
Speaker 1:least sound like it's going to be interesting to random passers-by. Maybe it's for them. That's how they'll find out. Make it irresistible. Call it all the filthy sex acts you always thought you'd have to pay for and record it in the right environment. Here's the thing. Stress can be good. Good stress is called loose stress.
Speaker 1:Some people would advise you to record your podcast in some kind of bunker or a room with foam and egg crates. No, I live in Venice Beach. I live in an amusement park. It's a lot like living in a freshman dorm. Sometimes there's music, there's yelling, there are occasional deaths. Everyone around me has access to all kinds of cool stuff. I'm just inches away from it and I know because they can't stop screaming at me Screams of joy, screams of terror. It's really a matter of interpretation. You're on that kind of level that creates the eustress that I need to create what is currently the only good podcast. Now you need $100,000 worth of top-of-the-line equipment. I don't have that. I don't need that. These words will be parsed by scholars of damnernalia in academic settings, even if I don't even use a microphone, even if I just raise my voice and you have to listen very closely from Denver or wherever you are Wagon Wheel Wisconsin. You just have to listen very closely.
Speaker 1:It's worth it because that's how good this podcast is. I got in early in avant-garde personal development, much like Joe Rogan just started doing a podcast before a lot of other people did. Now his format of people talking for three to four hours is widely imitated. He succeeded with it. Why isn't everybody else succeeding with it? Well, because Joe Rogan is one of the great intellectuals of our time. And also be the first to do your thing.
Speaker 1:Last podcast on the left Dudes talking about serial killers and being Arasat's best friends to their listenership before anyone else is doing that. It was before Bernie Sanders ran for president, so the name is confusing to the people who discover it now. It was one of the first podcasts of its ilk. It was never exactly on the left Politically. It's named after a genuinely disturbing horror film. The fans know that they think they're friends with the hosts. You don't need that. In avant-garde personal development, leadership and friendship don't mix and you want to be a leader. Leaders, don't waste a lot of time. Keep those episodes coming If there's nothing else going on, record an episode. Why the DMV? Start talking. Put those AirPods in, tell us what's on your mind. It could be completely insolent. Many of the earlier episodes of this show are completely insolent. Get where you're going, keep moving, never aim to please. Yes, the show is for Alan but, antagonize him a little bit.
Speaker 1:Put him on edge. Make it so that he has to engage with you. Be bigger than life, thoroughly unnoticed in some amazing, innovative new way. Take your worst quality, lean into that. It's not forgiving yourself for your foibles. This is leading with your true strengths. The stuff you don't want to talk about is the stuff people want to hear about. Let it all hang out, tie it in a lasso, capture attention, tell people what to do, keep showing up. Iterate, innovate. Life is your laboratory. Your podcast is your laboratory. Just do whatever the hell you want with it. It's your sandbox. Just do whatever the hell you want with it. It's your sandbox. It's your imaginary kingdom. It's your Xanadu, your Valhalla, your Weimar Berlin. Go buck wild and then send it to everyone you know, because everyone's going to listen to it. They got nothing but time. Don't send it to Alan.
Speaker 1:Let him find it himself. Create trailheads, do a full-on alternate reality game to market your podcast, and then that'll distract you from how bad your podcast is, how it's getting worse and your indecision over whether you should try to salvage it or shoot the moon. Max Bialystock, it Make the absolute worst podcast so bad that it makes every other podcast look good, and then you will have the only bad podcast. I imagine that you can see what's really going on.
Speaker 1:Maybe, you're too stupid. You could be dumb as a bag of hammers. It doesn't matter. Presentation is what matters. You can just look things up now. Recitation of facts doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 1:I see some insecurity under this little game that you're playing or you're testing me. You have to have your dukes up all the time. I must get tiring. I bet you could use a break, a little vacation. There's an attention to detail that I see. There's a rich inner world behind the facade. Your lack of intelligence doesn't preclude adventures of the mind. You could have a different kind of intelligence, like an athlete who's not very articulate because they always ask them questions after they've just won the game, which is like somebody asking you to analyze the sex that you just had after I fished it off of you. You already cummed several times from some of the things I did earlier and you're shaking. You've forgotten your name and it's never going to end. But then it does and somebody's like, hey, how was the game? And you can't really think of anything to say except Well, first of all, I gotta thank God, from who all blessings flow.
Speaker 1:I don't know, maybe I'm projecting. I want to be fascinated by you. Oh no, you have to have sex on the first night. That's how you really get to know somebody. It's theater, it's ballet? Yeah, sure, of course. Yeah, it's a risk. Everything is a risk. Yep, everything has consequences. Anything worth doing. So what do you do After a meet cute like this? You just go home, you just fall asleep. Do you read a book? Do you read Dostoevsky? Yeah, I didn't think so. You read your own instruction manual. It's all good. Yeah, see, let me kiss. There's chemistry.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Human people are infinitely complex crystals of fractal stardust from beyond good and evil, but they manage to be excruciatingly boring. In podcast interviews, your listeners demand danger. Skip the invitation. Tap their phones, do some light catfishing. Record your guests at parties, coked out and obliterated on Old Crow. They'll forgive you when they hear themselves at their most. Relatable, if not. Lawsuits, pay for themselves and publicity in the world quivers in fear of a truly dangerous podcast. Get stoked.
Speaker 1:If there's nobody around to stoke you, stoke yourself. Stoke yourself regardless. You know it's not that no one else is gonna stoke you or wants to or can, but nobody can stoke you in the ways that you can stoke yourself. And if they wanted to, they wouldn't know how, because only you know that and that's intuitive. And that means getting your energy up, making yourself angry, proud, horny, getting it ready to go and then going for it, doing the damn thing, doing to it, like we always do about this time. What that means is you do it to yourself. This is not about making yourself suffer or prolonging any pre-existing suffering. So soothe yourself. Get soothed.
Speaker 1:Once again, it starts best with you. You are the expert in the way that only you are qualified, have ever been qualified or will ever be qualified to be. So it is your responsibility, if you want the job done right, to take the lead, lead the way and get some high-octane relaxation. Love yourself, you deserve it. You are capable of being the best lover you'll ever have or could possibly have have in the category of your brand of expertise. What you know, use what you know and forget you forgot how to do it. Let it happen. It's organic, it just flows if you allow that to be and act on the knowledge that you know that you have. Be and act on the knowledge that you know that you have. If it's inconvenient to just do it, bore yourself, be bored. It's the most important ingredient for greatness. If you know what to do with it, it's the kind of greatness I subscribe to.
Speaker 1:I don't teach or sell greatness that I don't understand. The greatness that I do requires that you bore yourself. Get rid of the distractions. Greatness that I do requires that you bore yourself. Get rid of the distractions. Don't go for the dirty buzz. Think in the long term, talking about sustainable gains which can be achieved when you cut the crap. Get rid of all the stuff. Shake the monkeys off your back, keep your head down. Focus, do the work, get the work done. Feel the resistance, do the thing regardless. Keep showing up, inconvenience yourself. You will achieve greatness. You might be the last to know that it's happened.
Speaker 2:It'll happen.
Speaker 1:Thank you, ask a sadist. This is my soapbox. I'm a sadist to the heart of gold and it means the world to me. When you let me be mean to you and let me go off, it can be hard out here for a sadist. I don't think of myself as a martyr or a victim, because that's disgusting. It's a self-defeating mentality that's confusing to any submissives that might be around. They want to know that you know what you're talking about and if you play the victim, that pretty much shows that you don't, or you're asking for help, and not in an elegant way, in a way where you want it to be known that you are weak, that you're giving up waving the white flag. Nevertheless, it can be difficult to be a sadist. People don't understand.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of negative psychological projection. You put yourself at risk of becoming a scapegoat because you are revealing things about yourself and living a life that many people want and deny themselves for reasons of fitting in, of social decorum, and there's nothing more dangerous than indulging yourself in life's greatest pleasures that the people around you will not allow themselves the freedom to indulge in. There is a tacit prohibition on doing things that people around you want to do and are afraid to do, and you can expect to be punished, ostracized, talked about behind your back. You will reap the whirlwind if you become the cab that you want to be. But it is its own reward and it is a gift to the world. The world needs sadists. It needs delicious cruelty. People are waiting to be told what to do. The kindest thing you can do is to dominate them. It is kind to be cruel. Hurt people in the ways that most help them. That is the love that you offer the world as a sadist. And if you're a masochist, lean back. Enjoy it. Make a lot of noise. I love that.
Speaker 1:Sexual freedom is yours for the taking. If you're angry that I seem to have sexual freedom that you don't, it's because it's sexual freedom that you deny yourself. Perhaps you are sacrificing freedom for a sense of security. Security is a lie. There's nothing guaranteed except pestilence, illness, destruction, death, existential horror, loneliness, the abyss. Those are the only things that are guaranteed. Anyone who guarantees you anything else is trying to sell you something or scam you. They're selling you something. You are likely overpaying for it. So forget about security.
Speaker 1:Take the freedom that you want, but in order to do that, of course you have to know what you want. So figure out what you want, which is partly done through experimentation. Run the sexual gamut. I'm not going to talk about all the stuff I've done. Some of it is very off-brand, but that's how you can test in the field what you like, what you don't like, what you thought you might like and you don't, what you never thought you would like and you in fact love. So know what you want, discover what you want and then go get what you want.
Speaker 1:Lead with what you want. Lead with the most disgusting things that you want, or perhaps not the most disgusting things, but lead with the fact that you're a disgusting pervert. I do that, and I do quite well for myself, and it screens out cowards and phonies, pathetic prudes who use conventional morality as a security blanket. And the way to face the difficulties of the world is with an attitude of relentless realism. Atheism, skepticism, radical agnosticism all these things should extend outside of the doors of the church. This is not a philosophical hobby. This is not some parlor game. The world does not need magic. It is full of natural miracles and if you can see these miracles that happen all the time and take credit for them. You can make a lot of money and get a lot of good submissives that way. You are dumb enough to be hot. You're not worth a long-term investment.
Speaker 1:Don't make long-term investments unless they're justified. Don't do it because somebody pressures you into it. And remember that there are no heroes or villains in the world. Conventional morality good and evil, black and white is a security blanket for dullards and a cudgel for goons. Yes, there's polarity in the world. There's masculine and feminine. There's life and death in and out. Sure, it is and it isn't. That's also polarity. There's also multiplicity. The world is fractally complex. All things have polarity, unless they don't.
Speaker 1:Morality is a justification for being boring, insufferable, contributing nothing new to the world, not owning your own proclivities, transmuting your cruelty through passive aggression and prohibitions on fun and indulgence and freedom. The things that you could have, they're right there for the taking. Just go get them. If you could just understand what you really want. And the way to do that is to listen to your instincts, feel the flow of blood in your body, feel your natural drives for time immemorial. You know what to do. Your body knows what to do. Your instincts are good. Your gut is good. Listen, pay attention. Just go with the flow. You don't even have to make decisions. You know what to do. Don't let people tell you what to do. They don't know better than you do as much as they like to think, they do as much as their status and perhaps their income and certainly their opportunities to take advantage, avail themselves of graft and grift depend on establishing an aura of ersatz authority. Don't believe it. And when you question it, expect to be challenged. I can't help myself.
Speaker 1:I want to antagonize these bastards, I want to make them feel uncomfortable. You don't necessarily have to do the same thing. It depends on the responsibility that you take upon yourself. I think of myself as an artist and I believe that the responsibility of the artist and art is to provoke. Sex is where we hide things. Sex is everything, sex is God, and so all art must be erotic in one way or another. And if it isn't intentionally, it will be accidentally, and sometimes that will present itself as a humiliating, unintentional self-disclosure. If you look for it, it's there. We can't hide it. We want to live it, and art should be obscene, it should be shocking in one way or another, and there are many roads up that.
Speaker 1:If you'd been around in the 1950s, would you have supported segregation? Would you support slavery in the South? Would you support apartheid in South Africa? Would you support the subjugation of women? You should disagree with the consensus that at least a few things. Be vocal about those things If you want to stand out and make a difference and contribute to the culture of your time. I think that's an obligation.
Speaker 1:I have much to offer as a sadist, as an intellectual, as a philosopher of sorts. I intend to give that to the world, regardless of the risk to my own safety, because they can make me feel unsafe. They can waste my time by antagonizing me, trying to throw me off balance. They can manipulate my emotions. Of course I have them. Denying that would be the most pathetic form of weakness. They cannot take my sovereignty and they cannot really up with my freedom. They can throw me in a prison cell and I can come up with the most debauched tales and create an inner hell of the likes that they would never imagine, and at least in my own sanctum sanctorum, in my chamber of secrets, in my hellish inner world. I will always be a free man. I can transmute that into art. I can provide my wisdom and advice for people who seek it out, create transgressive literature. I can always be a libertine in my heart and soul. Like Jimmy Carter, I can commit lust in my heart and I do so with bloodthirsty enthusiasm and gusto and cruelty, the sort that many people crave.
Speaker 1:They can't admit it. Once you get them behind the eight ball, you have a whole lot of leverage, and don't think that they have the same leverage over you. You might If you have shame. Other people have leverage If you take joy and intelligent pride not foolish, ill-advised pride, but the fun kind of pride in who you are you become who you are on a constant, ongoing basis. No one can really take away your freedom. Your sovereignty is not secure. Nothing ever is. It's not truly yours. It could be taken away with a thwack to the side of the head or even a major shakeup or trauma in life. It can shuffle your priorities and perhaps you'll have to think about something else for a while. But it is your own now. Keep it that way, thank you. Thank you.
Speaker 1:90% of podcasts don't get past episode 3, so make those episodes count. To make episode 1 an absolute barn burner. That's impossible to ignore without dying, test it on rats. Now that you've got us on your side for episode 2, open a vein, bleed into our ears and destroy our lives in a manner that's incontrovertible and oddly erotic. Episode three is art. It makes no sense and yet forces us to confront the lies we tell to hide from the misery of our lives.
Speaker 1:Mazel Tov, you made it. If you want to start another, I can't stop you. Quality is wet trash. Well, it's one of the reasons, and it's an important one to fix. Anywhere you get your podcasts is saturated with them. No one can handle that avalanche of content in 10 lifetimes. Painfully pristine audio quality is non-negotiable. People on YouTube will tell you that you can do that at home or even on an iPhone, if you know what you're doing. You don't, and they are ice cold straight up lying to you. There's no way to make your podcast sound good without throwing down a lot of money. You should really hire an engineer. The engineer will hate you and your podcast, but they'll appreciate the work which you could give them if you had money, which you don't. Your podcast was supposed to make money and we both know how that's going.
Speaker 1:Gee, it's August in LA, Is it hot? Don't waste time with hypotheticals. The correct way to get top-of-the-line audio equipment is to steal it. How do you think hip-hop started the New York Blackouts? What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1:Find a mark who works for the city, Either seduce them or say hey, I have a podcast. It's kind of like this American Life. I'm going to do a heartwarming and belly-tickling story about how I embraced my identity as a Levian Satanist on the subway system. Please send me a map. Please send me a detailed map of the subway system and throw in the electrical grid while you're at it. They'll do it. You have a podcast. It's not the only good podcast, but it will be, because now you can shut down the city's electricity, steal all the equipment you want, make a podcast that combines existing elements in fascinating ways and explores the violent, loving and hilarious extremes of the capabilities of the English language. With the best audio equipment you could steal, you have a chance, which you created, for the violent, loving and hilarious extremes of the capabilities of the English language, the best audio equipment you could steal. You have a chance which you created for yourself, because that's how luck happens and that's how you're going to make the only good podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, the audio quality isn't the only thing you're dealing with. You have miles to go before you sleep. But I'm Emerson Dameron. I'm a podcast consultant, making podcasts dangerous. Again, the game is to be sold, not to be told. So get in touch and we'll talk rates. They're reasonable. We're not even talking turkey. They're like emaciated seagull rates. Before the seagull found a Little Caesars hot and ready on the sidewalk. That was a glorious moment.
Speaker 1:Manhood in its rawest, most authentic form is a force for beastly sovereignty of the soul. So get your podcast on the Bonebox Network. Being a real man means mastering your craft, whether it's harpooning whales, building trebuchets with your hands or letting the levels go into the red. But not stay there. Society loves weakness. It wants to shame you into silence. It's given up on personal responsibility, and that's not your fault. So get on the mic and ravage this world with unapologetic masculinity. When you're wrong, dare to double down. If they push back, let them know you're just a comedian and a meathead, so jacked up on adrenaline and sleep deprivation you have no idea what words are spewing out of your mouth. For a minute it sounded like Portuguese, a language you neither speak nor understand. Now it's a mix of barbaric yawps and cocky, virile echolalia and you wish you could go home, but you've forgotten how to shut down the livestream on the Bonebox Network. A brutal brotherhood of real men, real power and real podcasts State of the art of podcasting.
Speaker 1:It's time. I'm the person for that job, being an expert as I am being. That it's a business I want to get into, and the best way to get into a business is to get the attention of the movers and shakers they're in, and the best way to get their attention is to annoy them. I think it's like negging. You take them down a notch. If they feel really good about themselves, they'll notice when shots are fired, and you can do that. You can roast people, Pull out the samurai sword and slice right through the BS, and you're the only person who can do it. You have the only good podcast, which is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. Desert Oracle gets an honorable mention. That's the closest thing we've got to a good podcast outside of this one.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I respect that. I admire Ken Lane quite a bit. I find his show very inspiring. He's no Joe Frank and Joe Frank is no Emerson Dameron. He was never LA's number one motivational speaker of the avant-garde persuasion. He wasn't trying to help people. Well, maybe he was trying. I'm actually doing it.
Speaker 1:I am helping people and I'm going to hurt people in the ways that help them, by roasting them, specifically everybody that works in podcasting. I think it'll go well. You're freaking out, you have nicks not nothing to freak out about, which makes it hard to stop freaking out. If you're not freaking out about anything, you can't stop freaking out because you don't have to deal with anything in particular anymore. So you just keep freaking out because it's got some momentum behind it, it's exciting, it feels like you're juiced up, You're ready to go, you're going to accomplish something. Of course you don't, once again, because you can't solve the problem inside of the problem space.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying don't freak out. Don't even get wrapped around the idea that freaking out is something bad. It just happens. It's just feelings, it's emotions. Let it pass, come and go and leave you alone. Let that happen. It's not. Information Doesn't mean anything. Calm down, find whatever ways you can to calm down. You're a lot easier to deal with For me and for others. Chilling Cannabis edibles do you good, unlike some other substances that you put in your body temple.
Speaker 1:Some of that stuff is fun at the party. Party's got to wind down eventually.
Speaker 1:You are in a position where you might want to marshal your resources and make use of your faculties in the best shape you can have them in through hydrating, through meditating and working out. You don't know where to start? Go ask somebody, figure it out. If it's a big waste of time, you can always start screwing up again. Love and violence are intertwined. Slow down, do a little bit at a time. You can't do everything that you want to do. There's not time. You got to do things well. You got to do something well.
Speaker 1:Pick something and do that well. Do it, apply yourself, get into it, get your fingers in the grease, get into the craft, the art, the joy, the love of doing the thing. Do it as a gift to yourself. Do one of your things and make it super good. You'll start to get maybe some results. At least the result of putting out something that you're genuinely proud of Always feels good. Give it a try, give it a shot, give it a shake of the dice, take a swing, take a spin, give it a whirl, play the game, get into it, prioritize, figure out what's important Right now.
Speaker 1:Money is important, unfortunate, but you can't do anything else without some money, and that's a lot of the reason for the panic, the self-reproach, self-hate, because you feel like you're not taking care of yourself and, frankly, you could be doing a better job. You have what it takes. You can do it. I've seen you do it before. All you need to do is get a couple of wins on the board, maybe just one. Get some momentum, get some stuff happening and go for it. It's not that hard.
Speaker 1:Get one big thing moving and other stuff will start to move in tune. Get in the flow. Call you know who when you get a chance. Be very civil, be adult, polite and understanding, including of yourself. Don't back down. Don't apologize. You don't have to apologize anymore. You've apologized enough for a dozen lifetimes, but worth preserving, if it can be preserved. Present it as you need a certain kind of support from your friends, from the crew, from the troop right now. You need that real love and respect that you can feel. You need support while you're getting back on your feet. You got to find the people who love you. Love them, the circle of love.
Speaker 3:K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 am. Kchungradioorg. You're listening to Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. La's number one avant-garde personal development program. The only good podcast, thank you.
Speaker 1:Your podcast is one of the good podcasts. Good podcasts like yours make people smarter. They did MRIs. It's science. Music makes people dumber. That's just obvious, even John Coltrane. Your listeners love you in a way that doesn't make you uncomfortable. You can get any guest on your podcast, ask tough, obnoxious questions and still become friends and confidants in the ins and outs of the business. You have the power of persuasion to convince sponsors they're not setting their money on fire and for now that's what matters. You're profoundly at peace with your current level of success and when you break through you'll be ready. You believe in your podcast because your podcast is the first and only good podcast. It's a blank canvas. Almost everyone uses one of two to four formats for everything. I don't believe that that's some kind of Jungian situation. It's an opportunity to do something out of left field. I'm here for it. I love experimental stuff Radio, theater, music, concrete. Whatever?
Speaker 1:you got. Give it to me, I'm ready. I was born ready for this. I like it scattered, smothered and covered to me. I'm ready, I was born ready for this. I like it scattered, smothered and covered, and also diced, mixed up like eclecticism For its own sake. I'm a post-modernist. I'm not afraid to admit it. I may be the only one. What else do I like? You do have to hook me in the first couple of minutes, which means you can't have ads for the first five minutes. Sorry, I know that's a prime spot. The saturation of ads is annoying across the board. There's gotta be some way to monetize this. Maybe the Canadian government.
Speaker 1:Yeah, something, take a day of rest, just do it. Take a break, god damn it. You're not even accomplishing anything. You're working yourself to death. It's ridiculous. I hate this. Stop it. Take a break Right now. Yeah, you want me to say it again? Repeat back what I said. Are you gonna take a break? Are you gonna do it? Can you follow instructions? You need a break. How many times have I said it? Take some time off, take five. You asshole, you moron. God damn it. Pick out the vibe man, then the next one. Put a little of that old razzle-dazzle in it, you still got it. You're the one with all these odd products that you want people to purchase to support you and to bring a little bit of your juju into their lives In an unprotected sexual way For their ears and this right into their brains. Audio is an intimate medium. People like the video. People watch Joe Rogan talk to people for four hours. Why would you do that, unless you're uncomfortable with just the audio? Compared to the whole thing, I like the audio exclusive experiences.
Speaker 1:It's a certain very intense kind of intimacy. I'm an auditory, thinker and learner, etc. I can also understand pictures when I look at them. Frame don't aim, I can take photographs. I'm the only person that can get a photograph of a sunset in LA that does it justice on a Samsung phone, on that camera. I did it. Everybody else sucks because they can't do that. I'm the only one who can. People need to get on my level.
Speaker 1:Audio, the spoken word Music. I wish I'd known when I was younger how easy music is to make. I always thought it was a craft practiced by professionals, all of whom seemed to be rich, except for my dad and his friends. They were musicians and they were not especially wealthy. But all of the other musicians I could think of Phil Collins, prince Men at Work at one time were all wealthy To an extent. The late Steve Albiney breaks it down how they're getting taken.
Speaker 1:Did you know there used to be a whole music industry? Now it's Kevin Kelly's 1,000 true fans economy, and boy is it more hellish than anyone could have possibly anticipated, except for people getting rich off of it, which you know. If there's a gold rush, somebody's gonna make money selling shovels. If there's a drug dealer busted under a streetlight, he'll come back and shoot out the streetlight and then you'll bust him again Because you're a cop and a rat and a sellout and it sends somebody set it to your face. It's so like me. Oh my god. What is this? What is the world? Could I only perceive things because I am those things. Projecting them onto other people is the cowardice. I'm kicking the can. I'm developing myself, growth, healing. Who is this mage, this muse? Before my teacher, I would bow before you and lick between your toes if I thought that's what you wanted.
Speaker 1:I think, we both know what you want. You're going to be not running the show because you always have to make decisions. Your life is full of choices and responsibilities and zero-sum games that you have to play. You're a hustler and that's beautiful and you have a heart and you maintain those things and that's a lot of hard work and you're not gonna have to worry about that in a little bit, because I'm gonna take it from here. You're gonna take it as well If you beg for it. If you look me straight in the eyes, I'll give you a good smack across the face and not a Hollywood smack. I've received your feedback and I've taken it to heart. You want the real deal, the full production. It's coming, and that's far from the only thing that's coming in that situation. I'm going to use you. However I want. You're going to love it, and that's the explanation for all of the previous content. Amen and Thank you so?
Speaker 1:Your combination of intimidating brilliance and primal animal magnetism is intimidating for a lot of people. It represents for them the fear at the threshold of adventure, and they may be right to feel that way. You may be too much for them. There are people that cannot handle the journey that you're going on, but make it clear you're going in regardless and if they get left behind, any regret that results from that is on them because they botched it. Anyone would be lucky to know you. Anyone would be lucky to spend time by your side. You are a cure for boredom and you can cure them with a wink of the eye and a snap of your fingers. You enrich and defile the people that come into your life in all the right ways. It is your artistic practice. It is your gift to the world no-transcript. The show that loves you back, levity, saves lives.
Speaker 1:Churn, I'll give you a churn. Give you the churniest churn that ever got churned. I burn with my churn. It's a churn befitting LA's number one avant-garde personal development program, which is, of course, of course, of course, emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes. I'm Emerson Dameron, your best friend, possibly in the world, the guy who gets it, perhaps the only person who really understands in this world of Legion, broken Souls and Misfit Toys. Doesn't it feel good to be gotten? A lot of people never get to feel that way, and you do, at least once a month, at the beginning of the month, to get things started right. First Wednesday of the month, 7 pm Pacific on K-Chum, kchumradioorg and becoming the only good podcast. I'm Emerson Dameron. I love you personally. Liberty saves lives. It, I love you personally. Liberty saves lives.
Speaker 1:That's easy to forget, that. It's hard to forget some of the things that would be better, more useful to forget, to unload, offload, banish. So right now, take this opportunity. What is something that you can't let go? What is something that torments you, bedevils you way past the point of any relevance? Your brain is trying to help, and what it does when it's trying to help is it ruminates because it thinks it's solving the problem. My friend, it is not. Your brain is stupid. The only way to understand is to understand that you will never understand. And the only way to really know capital K, capital N, capital O, capital W is to forget everything you have ever known. So join me in our ritual of forgetfulness, which must be celebrated.
Speaker 1:I only invite you to this because that's how much I love you, how much do I love you. I'm the only person who really understands you, might be the only person who really understands me that's not true, but I'll make you feel that way. When we're together, we share a mutual bond, and when I am with you, you are the only person in the universe to me. I would hope to feel that way to you even when I'm not around, because you understand object permanence, and that's one of the things I love about you. You are so smart, so scary smart, so frighteningly, bafflingly sexy, and I love you for that and for everything else about you. And just because and that's why I want to destroy you, I want the big death.
Speaker 1:The orgasm is described by the French as le petit mort, the little death. I want the big one. I want to destroy you and myself. I want to be immolated in the destruction, in the catastrophe, in the little apocalypse brought about to extinguish your existence. I want you to go first. I will follow soon after that. You can trust me. I'm the person who's destroying you and that's possibly the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me.
Speaker 1:The least you can do is go along with it. Let me run this. I got this. It's your birthday, you don't have to do anything. Perhaps none of us have to do anything.
Speaker 1:Perhaps everything we do in the effort to make things better only creates new problems and makes things ultimately worse, because we are creating problems at a faster rate than we can solve them, which is the whole point, I suppose. But why are we doing this? Does it really matter? We're burying ourselves, we are killing ourselves. It is suicide on the installment plan. Nothing neat, nothing elegant about it. It is dangerous and pathetic. It is dangerous to be as risk-averse as many poor souls in this world are becoming, and that's why we gotta snap out of that, even if it's over. You know it is over.
Speaker 1:Let's be adults about this. You know, and I know that we can't really talk about it because you gotta believe that there's a possibility that we could come back, but from a grown-up perspective. Let's be real. You're in my office, let's just talk about this. It's hopeless. We are so thoroughly boned there's no coming back. But if we do when we do, when we're back it is gonna feel that much better Because we almost gave up for a while. Everybody else did in our cohort. And look at them now or rather don't, because you can't find them, because they're nowhere. All that matters is survival Endurance. That's not really all of it. You got to take some chances, and that's really all of it. You gotta take some chances, and that's really part of survival. You gotta not prioritize surviving in order to really do it in style. You gotta just not care.
Speaker 1:You gotta put your life on the line in order to come back hard, the way that you're talking about doing it, and that's in anticipation of embarking for another land, because we're gonna get out of this peace. There is no peace, there's only war forevermoremore. And that's pretty hot as far as it goes. We've been sizzling for a minute. It's too much cortisol, too much post-traumatic stress. We're going to try it in a different place, perhaps somewhere newer, somewhere with chiseled mountains, trails that take us in a new direction. That's how we're moving. That's how we're moving. That's how we're doing it. In the meantime, you can help me and perhaps yourself, really more yourself. There's only calculated altruism, Unless it's impulsive. And you just did it.
Speaker 1:When you were high, you made the decision to support me in buying drugs by donating to the Buy Drugs for Emerson Dameron Fund. These are antidepressants. Of course you knew that. You knew that I wouldn't try to raise money and spend it on illicit drugs. I'm not going to have any fun. If that's what you're afraid of, don't even worry about it. I just need these things to stop from killing myself. And if I can do that, I can be here for you as well, because I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I whistled all the way and I took some pictures and now we can look at them together, perhaps see where that takes us, maybe end up doing other things together. But you gotta first of all give a generous donation, give until it hurts to the Buy Drugs for Emerson Dameron Fund, and that could be part of your breaking out of the way that you thought things were going to be the way you thought that they should be, back when the concept of should carried some currency, some weight, some purchase, when you could exchange that for real American dollars. That never was the case. That for real American dollars. That never was the case. Had you tried, had you taken your shoulds to the bank, they would have said get that should out of here. You are full of should. What we need is do. It's not about what you don't do, it's what you crap out of your ass like a newborn baby. Back when you were authentic, that's what you were doing. So in order to really get in touch with your primal essence. That involves taking a crap in your diaper. I hope you're authentic. That's what you were doing. So in order to really get in touch with your primal essence, that involves taking a crap in your diaper. I hope you're ready for that. Some people are enthusiastic about it. I know More power to ya.
Speaker 1:I feel like a world with more diaper fetishists out of the closet would perhaps be a better, easier world to live in. I don't think it would really affect me that much. I'd be surprised, but you know I've been surprised before. Life is full of them. Well, it surprises.
Speaker 1:I'm hoping that someone will surprise me with some beef. I need to beef with someone in order to stay sharp. I'm out of practice. All of my beefs are ancient.
Speaker 1:At this point I'm not even really angry anymore. What was I ever angry about? Remind me. Bring me back to life. Bring me back to the surface, where people are petty and pick fights over nothing.
Speaker 1:Start a feud with me. It doesn't even have to be that big a deal. It can be pure kayfabe. We can have fun with it. We can get together. We can have like a writer's room meeting where we decide how we're going to get into it. You can reveal some of your weaknesses to me. I will, in turn, give you some pointers on weak spots of mine to hit and we can go at it. We can go to town and we can draw a lot of attention to both of us, and no one has to win, nobody has to lose. We can keep going indefinitely.
Speaker 1:This could be much like the Infinite Game, a case of infinite beef, where, rather than squashing the beef or choosing a victor, the point is to keep the beef going, and that's called the beef of life. That's where the real sizzle is. Just because there's smoke doesn't mean there's beef, but let's smoke up before we start beefing. That'll make it more entertaining all around. I believe you know what. Let's do something else. Let's cast everything out. Let's go back to basics and forget all of this. Banish the nonsense, perish the thought. Perish the other thought as well. Perish all the thoughts, perish your first principles, all of your priors. Wipe your hard drive clean. Put a hammer through the front of your television when you're out in your back alley and you want to get rid of it because you don't even know if it works anymore. But you know what it does do, and now its most important function possibly ever is to be destroyed by you. The only way to really love it is to love it to death.
Speaker 1:This is Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes Medicated-Minutescom. I'm Emerson Dameron who is solely responsible for the content of this show. I love you personally. Levity saves lives For now, not forever, but that's okay. You steal audio equipment from the right people. You might put an end to late-stage capitalism. It's called late-stage for a reason. It shouldn't be that hard to take down.
Speaker 1:People might love you for that, but not if your podcast is terrible, if you can't stop daydreaming about casual sex but you're scared of getting hurt or humiliated and you're burned out on draining, dead-end dates with disappointing boy men. Stay tuned, because hot, dizzy nights of exciting, ecstatic, cathartic sex can be yours when you discover casual sex with Emerson Dameron. Emerson Dameron comes equipped with an omnivorous mind, a soulful, penetrating gaze and gifts for deep kissing and thrilling, chilling, dirty talk. Get the playfulness, passion and patience you crave with a dominant, sensitive and fully present man who knows how to throw you around and when to leave you alone. Make a casual, caring connection and get hot, healthy hookups with a selection of kinky upgrades and a strong probability of cascading orgasms. With Emerson Dameron, fun comes first, and so do you. Have casual sex with Emerson Dameron today or, realistically, early next week. Thank you, bye.
