Hey there. Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show. My name is Katie. I'm the director of experience and retention at Social Curator. And today's episode is one you do not wanna miss. Inside Social curator, Jasmine hosts monthly group coaching sessions and today to listen in as she coaches one of our curators, a jewelry designer by the name of Tammy. Now Tammy's question was one that I know so many business owners resonate with. Why have I not made progress in my business when I have absolutely everything I need? In other words, what do I do when I'm doing everything I can and nothing is working? As Jasmine began to coach her, the energy and the coaching session shifted from excitement to focus. It was as if the virtual zoom room became silent. The chat then began to resonate with other curators saying things like, I have this same question. And Tammy, you're not alone. You're so brave to ask Jasmine's answer. Not only empowered Tammy to take her next steps, it provided a framework for everyone listening to get ends. It will do the same for you. Let's go ahead and listen in. Hi Tammy. I'm so happy you're here. How can I be of service? And what is your. Question? Okay, my question is, why have I not made more progress in my business when I have absolutely everything I need? I have time, I have technology, I have resources. Um, so obviously I, you know, it's gotta be me. I get really mad at myself because I have everything I need and I, I'm not profitable. So my question is, why <laugh>? What am I doing wrong? Um, is it because I have too much freedom and I don't, my time is is the entire day And so is it because I don't have time limits? Maybe I'm not, uh, formulating my question in the right way. No, Tammy, I'm letting you talk. Okay, <laugh>. Well. I'm not gonna jump in because what I hear is hurt and confusion and embarrassment. Yes. Yeah. And I have no, uh, reason why this shouldn't work. And so that's why I'm stuck. There's plenty of reasons why it wouldn't work. And I'm saying this, having no idea what your current offer is. There's plenty of reasons why it might not work and I would venture to say 99.9% of them have nothing to do with you. Okay? I think they all have something to do with me. So that's my issue. Yeah, you don't have an issue. You have an opportunity to apply energy in a different direction. What I hear Tammy, is that Tammy is in a boxing ring with the version of Tammy who you believe you should be. So there's two Tammy's. One is the idealized version and the other is the truest version. And the idealized version keeps on beating the real version into submission, challenging her to rear back. So Tammy is beating upon Tammy expecting Tammy to thrive in that situation. I would never put a flower in concrete and yell at it and beat it and expect it to thrive. So what we have to do is to understand that we can't beat ourselves up and then expect a good outcome. I just heard about a science experiment where they had a plant, it was a seed wrapped in cotton and kept in water and they had plant A. Nothing happened with this plant. They kept it in the sun. Right next to it was plant B and plant B. Every morning children, elementary school children were told to go and say mean things. You're never gonna be a good plant. Your leaves are gonna grown backwards. You're gonna grow brown and terrible and shriveled. And then on the third plant, the children were instructed to say nice and golden, beautiful things to this plant. You're gonna thrive, you're gonna be green, everything's gonna be amazing and beautiful. And I will tell you Timmy, that the first plant grew standard and the second plant grew the way that the people spoke to it. The children were amazed that it was brown and the leaves were upside down and it was shriveled. And the plant that was spoken loving to thrived was bright green twice the size with beautiful leaves. This is a real life scientific example of how the words that we speak to others and ourself have an impact on what we create and what we do. Far. Before I answer any sort of business questions, I have to tell Hemi that the first thing that you must do as a business owner is to give yourself the freedom to be a business owner and understand that by and large things will not work out. As business owners, we have to do more with less. We will never have enough time. We will never have enough money, we will never have enough resources. We will never have the right answers. It is just a process of continuing to do and iterate. The minute that you can tell yourself, Tammy, it's okay to be where you are and you're doing the best you can, and I know it seems woowoo and I know you're like, I don't need this warm and fuzzy stuff, I need a plan, right? But I can give you the plan. But if this is not right, the plan will never work. That's just it. I've seen it far too many times, Tammy, I don't even know what it is you sell quite yet. And I can tell you, you're not gonna be able to sell if this is the energy that is going into whatever it is that you're creating. That's just the truth. So first and foremost, we got a love on Tammy and we gotta say that Tammy's doing her best. And we gotta say that Tammy's ready for another 10 years to figure out what Tammy's going to do. And if the answer is, I don't have a stomach for that, great. Get outta the game. That's okay. But you're in control of that. You have to say that this is what we must do to get what we must want. This is the freaking norm. And if we can't accept the norm, we were never meant for this game, which is great, it's fine, it's beautiful, but this is the game. Having said that, what comes up for you first, Tammy? Um, I'm trying to manifest this business into what, you know, I'm doing a lot of manifesting work, um, you know, work on my self-talk. Okay? And so, I don't know, can I just, if I imagine myself, if I put myself in those situations, um, trying to figure out <laugh>, why it's not manifesting. Oh, it's where your energy is, baby boo. Yeah. It's where your energy is. Manifestation is not about imagining where you are in the future. It's where your energy resides. And your energy right now is in the center of vortex of just you. What is right now is just this hole of I have everything and I am doing nothing. I have no reason why my business is not succeeding, but I'm imagining my business and I'm imagining that it's successful. You can imagine, but your energy is here. Your energy needs to be pushed out. But the only way that you're ever able to push energy out into the future is first and foremost, loving yourself for who you are and understanding that you will never get to where you wanna go until you change the person you are today. That's just it. So all the imagining in the world is not gonna get you to where you wanna go. All the action in the world is not gonna get you. Where do you wanna go, Debbie? What? What do you do? I make jewelry. Beautiful. So do I need to back all the way up and get myself right first? Which if I have to do that, I feel like I'll never get an, you know what I mean? I mean. Of course of cour girl, girl, I had<laugh>, I had therapy yesterday.<laugh> this, this is an ongoing process. I would never say get yourself right Cuz then I would say, well you're gonna be working in perpetuity, as would I. We're never right. We're only right when we die. Like therefore our mind had been eased and we're no longer beating ourselves up demanding water from a rock. Do I think that you need to do personal work? Of course, but I think everybody does. I do. I'm a practitioner, I do a meditation every single. I don't wanna lie. I like most days I am doing a meditation. Most days I do deep breathing. Most days I have to write the negative thought that I'm thinking and ask myself, do I choose to drink this poison today? Because if I don't want it, I have to push it out. I have to push the cup away. You came on here and you said, I have everything I have all the time, I have all the resources. It's not working. If you were to write that on a piece of paper, I have all the resources, it's not working. I have all the time. It's not working. What am I doing wrong? And you read that and you say, I drink from this cup of poison and expect me to be healthy. Do you, if you look at that and say, that's not my story today. Great, let's write a new story. And if you don't know the news story to write, all you do is you write five things you're grateful for. I've been doing that. I've been writing, writing, writing like the last month, just writing everything down and then crossing out and then writing and Good. Good. Well I don't know how old you are, but I'm just gonna put a number on it. I'm gonna put 30, I'm gonna put 30. I'm 56, Jasmine. Oh. My god, girl number one in your gratitude list is to look real good. I'm like, I'm faith wise, Jasmine. Not in my thirties. I'm in my lord. I know people in the chat are like, what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're 80, it doesn't matter if you're 18, okay, I'll just still use 30 cuz it's a number. So you have been on this earth at minimum 30 years programming your brain to think in a certain way. And then you wanna sit here and say, I've done it for 30 days. Beautiful. We're on the start of a journey, but baby boo, you've done 0.01% of the work you need to do to reverse Will got us here. And do I have time? You started off and said you had time. Well I have all the time in the world to accomplish something and at the rate I'm going, I'm gonna die first. You know? I mean. What do you want to accomplish when you say I have accomplished something, what is it? I want to have created something that is profitable, successful, blesses other people, um, helps other people. How much profit? How much profit. 50,000 A year, you know that would be. And what is success for you? Success is feeling that sense of accomplishment. How do you define accomplishment? Uh, satisfaction of knowing that I did something that went like I wanted it to go. How do you define went? Like it wanted to go. What does. That mean? Want a business set brings meaning to. Okay, great. So what you said, I'm re reading your words back to you, that you want a business that is profitable, successful and blessing other people. And I asked you, what does that mean for you? And you said $50,000, that is when you are a success. Because I said define success and you said it's accomplishment. And I said, well what's accomplishment? And you said satisfaction that it went how I wanted it to go. And I said, well how do you want it to go? And then you had said, I have income. So your success is directly linked to your profitability. Did I understand that correctly? Yeah. Okay. It's a business and right now it's a hobby. I don't want it to be. A hobby. Great. And so how much money do you need to survive? How much money right now do you need this business to bring into you? I'm surviving so I don't need. It. Exactly. Exactly, exactly. I want. It. You want it? Ah, now we're working. Now we're cooking with fire. Because what we're doing Tammy, is we're saying that we can't do what we really want to do. If we aren't making $50,000, even though we don't need it, we want it, no problem. That's great. Now we know what we're working with because if you're OB objective is to have a business that is blessing other people and the content you create, somebody comes across and says, this blesses me today, then you have found your purpose. If you're saying you want to be successful and it means that you're accomplishing something and then you are there creating your jewelry and creating content and helping other people perhaps start jewelry your businesses of their own or sharing your journey or talking about the self-work that you've been doing or starting your own challenge, a 30 day gratitude practice challenge. And at the end of this, you're gonna be inspired to make a pair of jewel, uh, a pair of earrings or a bracelet as a commemoration if anybody would like to do it with you. And if nobody does it, you still do it anyway. And this is where you begin the journey of your thankful bracelet, your gratitude necklace, or your persistence earrings or whatever the case may be. And maybe next year you don't make 50,000 but you make five and five is much closer to 50 than it is zero. So what you want to do is release yourself from the demand that you will only be successful until you're making$50,000. When in fact you can. It might just not happen in the next few months, which is okay, why? Because you don't need it. You want it and the minute you separate, I don't need it. That you are sitting candidly speaking in a really great freaking office with lots of freaking tools and you are healthy and you are here and other people are in the chat being totally and completely inspired that you're being as vulnerable as you are. Then what I need you to do every single day is to focus on being a blessing. How do you be a blessing? I don't know. You define it. How can you be successful every day you're creating, if people aren't buying, it's not quite here yet. That's okay. You must continue to create, you create, you add your stories and that is what's going to lead you to profitability. It might not be the 50,000 that it's gonna be to define your success. It will get you closer. You might not make 50,000 in a year. The question then becomes, would you be okay making 50,000 in three years, in four years, in five years, define it, label it, and then move towards it. And then every day you've released yourself that you year. Why? Where did we pull that number from? Nowhere. We pulled it from nowhere and then we beat ourselves up. So then the future version of Tammy is beating down the present day version of Tammy on numbers that were based on nothing expecting you to be somebody without the timing, the ability to grow into the person you're supposed to be. So we started off this question by saying, I have everything. Why isn't my business working? We walked through this pathway of and manifesting my business and manifestation is just not a thought. It's where your energy is. And it's been very clear that your energy is on the inside being withheld, pouring it back into yourself and not into the future version of yourself. So then we decided to take time. When I ask you, well what does actually your future like, when are you gonna be satisfied? And then you said, when you're a blessing to other people, which is something you could do today, you said that you will be successful and that is to accomplish something. So Timmy, you can accomplish something, anything today and that your satisfaction that it went as well as you had hoped and that's based on what you had accomplished and that it brings in income, if not today, then tomorrow. And if next year you make 5,000 and it's not 50, you're a hell of a lot closer to 50 than you are right now. And that alone, in and of itself is something to be thankful for because you don't need it. You want it. And when you create from want and blessing and perseverance and your own version of defined success, you win. And your customers feel that too. Thank you Jasmine. Thank you Tammy. Thank you. I am honored. This was a gift for me. This right here, you vocalized what so many people struggle with and you have the courage to do it. It's okay to fill all those feelings after this call. You're gonna write down the five things that you're thankful for and then you're gonna create cuz that's what Tammy's going to do. Thank you. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. Um, friends, I have to tell you that these um, calls bring me life and gratitude. Um, today on the top of my gratitude list is going to be this call. I just wanna say thank you so much for this. Um, I didn't have plans to actually talk about this, but I will because there's just a few, um, people that are still here cuz kind of going over the hour. Um, I have to let you guys know that I've done a lot of mindset work, uh, around my business and what Tammy just clearly identified is where I stayed stuck many, many, many years. I'm gonna be putting together a live cohort class just for people on the inside of Social Curator. This will not be promoted on the outside is going to be a live four week class that I will be facilitating and it's going to be called the Business Mindset Intensive. Poor Katie. Katie is saying like, what in the world are you doing? Do not talk about this quite yet. It's what I do. It's just you guys. I'm sorry, I spilled the beans. What we just did with Tammy, what we just did with Rachel, what we dust did with Shelly, we're not alone. And I'm like, I want to pour into Social Curator and make social curator something that will change your 20, 23, 5 years at Social Curator. And we have given every education and every resource. And where do I see people getting stuck? Not with the education and not with the resources. It's this, it's this. I spent months and months pouring out all of the work that I have been doing with my coaches, masterminds, therapists, and I'm saying, what can I do in four weeks just to set the foundation? Just at the foundation is gonna be live. We're gonna have accountability, we're going to be work shopping. You know what I just did right now, how I just did it so clearly, so clearly right now with what we just did was because I had went through that process and that's what we're outlining. What is your success? How do you define it? How do you get there? Friends, I'm telling you, 2023 is in breakout year for me. And I believe it could be a breakout year for you. Let's do the work. I'm not even, I know, I know. I'm, I'm already talking about it. We wouldn't have anywhere to sign up. There's no wait list yet. There's nothing. Just keep your eyes peeled, okay? Keep your eyes peeled. Like this is going to be a massive thing that we get to do together and I'm so, so excited. Okay, Katie, sorry Roen. I know you're leaving comments being like, what in the world? Listen, y'all, let me be, let me be, let your girl be okay. My gratitude. Bye y'all. Welcome back. I don't know about you, but ever since I heard Jasmine share about those three plants and how powerful our words and thoughts are, I can't stop thinking about it. Whatever narrative is loudest in your head today, I encourage you to just take a step back just for two minutes, five minutes and choose a different story. If you're not sure what to choose, steal this one. I am doing the best I can. And that is enough. Thanks for joining us today, friends. We'll see you again real soon.