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Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show. I am joined today by the ever amazing, super fabulous over the top. Amy Kardashian. No, just kidding. Her name is Amy Porterfield. I casually throw in a Kardashian reference because she is that fabulous. For those of you who don't know, Amy is a brilliant entrepreneur, a powerhouse, and she cares about people, which is what makes her so amazing at what she does. Today we are going to be talking about leaving things that are no longer serving us. Yes. How is that for a teaser? Ugh. Love it. You know, I started this conversation with Amy and I said, Amy, it's not enough to have a good podcast. I wanna be the best podcast you've ever been on. She did. Basically. You like to be the best of. The best. No, I only wanna be the best for you. Why? What? What? Let's not, let's, let's not. I mean, I am competitive, but really the most competitive when it comes to my friends. Cause I'm just like, I want you to write a handwritten letter to Hoby and say, my life was changed being on Jasmine's podcast. Done. Okay. Done. I already feel it. I feel like it's gonna be the best of. The best. And I'm gonna write the letter for you and then you should sign it, Toby. Ah, okay. So I, I don't want people to know that this conversation happens at least every day. At least, if not twice. A day. Okay. So for those of you don't know, Amy and I send voice messages to each other. Yes. So when is the last time we've actually spoken on the phone? Oh, we don't. We don't. You were calling me and I was like, why. Is she calling me? It was an accident. Don't, it was a butt dial. I was like, we don't talk on the phone. I. Don't even think I answered it. I was like, no. You didn't. I told her about this. I was actually in a perilous situation,<laugh>. I needed her help and she didn't answer it. Oh my gosh. That is true. What if that were the case? But it's been years since we've been doing that. I. Know. Years. So Amy and I communicate on the daily, and it's an asynchronous friendship in that like we connect when we can and it's not time sensitive. There have been times where it takes me a couple days to respond. Sure. Or it might take you to a couple days to respond and then there's like zero attachment. Like we'll come up like for air and be like, it was a really hard week. And then we'd like to know the big things, the small things and the celebrations. And I think what makes our friendship, um, really genuine is that we can say, uh, when we're not in a good space, what we need from another person and setting up parameters. But then also the biggest thing is having somebody who's in your corner. Yes. So I share things like the big losses and then big wins. Yes. And you are like ultra cheerleader. Like you got this. Yes. And I hope I'm the same for you. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I say the thing things to you that I don't even tell Hobi sometimes. Oh, speaking of Hobi, my most favorite is when you send me messages and you can. Overhear. Okay, this is embarrassing. This. Okay, so we're starting the podcast here, which is like, wow. Go ahead. Spill the tea. I'm just gonna brew another pot because you just spilled the freaking tea. So tell everybody like, Hobi likes me, but Hobi thinks I'm a. Little, A little extra. A little or a lot. A. Lot. Yeah. So Hobi will overhear the messages and he will say, what is happening? Has she been drinking <laugh>? Like. Tons of caffeine or something, because you talk a mile a minute. And so sometimes he's like, whoa, she's a little bit unhinged. But I like, yeah. Ok. Sometimes he hears so I don't. Talk fast. Sometimes you leave messages and you'll say, oh, hope's not listening. Right now I do. I'm like, is Homi in the room? Because ho thinks I day drink and I literally have one alcoholic drink a week. And it's like, I'm just like this in general. Yeah. So bless your heart for being my friend. He's just like, you're a special breed. You are to hang out with that girl. Yes. Um, but because you're a special breed, I think that's like gonna be like the entry point of this conversation because you're such an advocate for other people. One of the things that I think has like been pivotal in how we have our conversations is you're always reminding me to let go of things that aren't serving me. Yes. Or to choose a better path or to choose a different thought or to challenge ourselves. And one of the things when you told me that you were writing a book and people are listening right now, they're like, no, no, this is not a book conversation. I'm like, no, it's not a book conversation. No, no. This is, uh, how do I become a different person that is serving my highest self conversation? Yes. And it happens to be wrapped up in the what is serving you now. And oftentimes it's anchored by family. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> work. Yes. In finances. Yes. So we're gonna kind of dwell a little bit in all of those things, but a little bit on work. But if we were to talk about things that aren't serving us, what are some of the things that keep us in a place where we're like, it feels safe, it's not bad. Like why do we stay in these spaces? Okay, first of all, I call these the safety shield. Everyone has a safety shield. And a safety shield is something that you put up two states safe, but also comfortable. When you're safe, you're usually very comfortable. But we all know that when you're safe and comfortable, there is no growth. So that is the reason why we have to let go of the shield. And the shield can look exactly like you said, it could look like a job. It could look like one-on-one clients where you're hitting that match. You're never gonna be able to scale a business with just doing one-on-one. It can also look like this is one that's come up a lot lately, a spouse that makes more money than you. If your spouse is making more money than you and you're trying to get this hobby to be a full-time thing. Well, nothing really is making you make money if you already are. Your bills are paid and things are comfortable. So a lot of, especially women have said to me lately, my shield is my spouse because he makes most of the money. So that's kind of a big one. Not for everybody, but it comes up. Um, it also could be a boss, like not only just a job, but having a boss so you don't have to call the shots. That's a shield as well. So we all have a shield. One way or another it's gonna come up. And so for us, like we're hardwired, and this is what my therapist said, we're hardwired for safety. Yes. And so even if we're conscious or subconscious, we kind of put things in our way to keep us safe. And so sometimes we stay in situations because they make us feel safe, but are they really serving our higher self? Right. Okay. So, um, as a slight pivot, you and I were talking about timelines. Now we're gonna get back to the shields. Okay. But I want this podcast to give people an insight of like Amy, the Amy Porterfield that I know. Yes. That's not only a future New York Times bestselling author and like a powerhouse businesswoman. We are talking about when we were gonna launch this podcast. Yes. Now we're recording it and we're like, I'm like, Amy, how can I best be a service? Because I'm super competitive and I want you to be on that best sellers list and I want to drop this podcast at the right time. And we were debating, do we drop it on February 7th or February 14th? Okay. Now I wanted to go for the 14th because why do you remember, I think it was like three years ago, you invited me on a clubhouse event called Galentine's. Yes. And you and I are on this clubhouse event and it was a little brutal. It was a little <laugh>. They all were a. Little brutal. Okay. Are we kidding? Okay. These clubhouses were brutal. And I remember you and I are on clubhouse and we're texting each other. Yes. Like, how do we get out of this situation? Here's Rob. So we committed. Now here's the thing. I wanna draw a parallel between what is safe and letting go what isn't serving us? Okay? So we're on this clubhouse and we're like, how do we get out? And I feel making myself, that has been a pattern of like, how do I get out not just of this clubhouse, but how do I get out of the negative thought patterns? How do I get out of something that I know isn't serving me, but makes me scared to make this decision? Yes. And so you and I had a conversation, I'll leave the details a little bit vague, but you and I had a conversation and I said, I am currently working with somebody and I know that it's not serving me, but I feel afraid of letting that person go because I don't know what's on the other side of it. Yes. That was a safety shield. Yes. And what did you tell me? And how do we parlay that into what is actually in your book, but actually what you believe and what you talk to your friends about? Okay, so I love this topic because I created this concept called the path of possibility. Okay? Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. So the path of possibility, you have to look at it in uh, three different circles, and a really big circle. Okay. Okay. And they're going, is this parallel? No, they're going horizontal. Well, they're going horizontal. But then you can have two lines that are horizontal that's parallel. Okay. Not parallel. They're going horizontal. Okay. And it's like, uh, if you can't see me, it's like one step here, then move to the left and then move to the left more. Okay. Okay. So you're starting with the present. The present is what we know. Okay. It's what we know. We're comfortable and safe there because we know how to navigate the present most of the time. Now to get to the third circle, which is possibility. What you want, just like what you were saying, you know, you need to leave this thing behind to get to really where you want, but you're afraid of the unknown. So the unknown is the possibility. It could be amazing. We just don't know. The reason why we're afraid of the unknown is because what is in between present and possibility, which is absolutely pain. There is no way to go from where you are now to somewhere better and bigger without you being willing to walk through the pain. And the pain is the unknown. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> the fear of it not working out the challenges that are gonna come when you go through it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we all have to go through the pain. Like it has to get worse before it gets better. Most of the time when we're going for something big. Right. So when you're thinking about the pain of what is going to happen or what do I need to go through, I talk about this capacity for zero. All right. So this capacity for zero is how willing are you to start over? How willing are you to actually say, I'll burn it all down and build it back up if I have to. Ooh. Because what I want is so clear. And so the stronger your capacity for zero, the more likely you are to stick it out and to get to the possibility. But we have to look at ourselves and say, am I willing to burn it all down to get what I want to like start over and build it back better? Mm-hmm. And the thing is, the wor word is willing. You might not have to burn it all down, but worst case scenario, would you be willing to. Talk to me about a time that you burned it all? Or that you said you were willing to burn it all? And then what happened? Oh, well there's one like give very, okay. But are you gonna give the same story to everybody else? Cause I want, I want like the, this does not exist on any other outlet. Ooh. Okay. Well that really is difficult. I know. The biggest story is my partnership, but it's. In the book and I was there for it. You were there. So let's talk about, let's talk about No, no, we're talking about it. We're talking about it all. Think of another story later on. Yeah. For somebody else. No, no, no, no, no. I want this. Yeah. I mean, come on girl. All think first rights on this. She's so God. She's just I'm boss baby. I'm boss. I'm a boss. I am bossy. Okay. Okay. Okay. So Jasmine was a huge part of this. So this is so appropriate. All right. I got into my business like three years in, almost hit a million dollars that year. And uh, I was in a partnership with some of my peers and I presented this offer to one of the guys in the partnership to help me with my business. Just help me. You mean in a mastermind? In a mastermind, yes. What did I say? You said partnership. Oh yeah. So you were uh, three years in a million dollars inning mastermind. Yes. Yes. And there was this guy that was doing amazing things with his business, kind of a similar business. And I said, can you help me do this one area of my business? And he said after a few days, he said, I have a better idea. Let me be 50 50 partner and I can blow this up with you. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and ask me how long I debated thought about it, talk to people, look to mentors. Like how long did that take me? Ask me that question. What was your due diligence? Do you like that word? I precisely One night asleep. Oh, one night asleep. I woke up the next morning and I said, let's do it. And the reason I did that is because I have always thought I can't do this alone and here's worse yet, I always thought I need a man to help me. I grew up with a really strict father who was my first boss, told me what to do. It was his way of the highway. I, my job was to obey and it, that was very ingrained in me. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Then I went on to corporate and I had all these male bosses and I was good with having a boss. I was good with someone telling me what to do and when to do it. And I figured out how. And then I got the awards and the accolades and then that a girl, you're doing great. And I loved it. I soaked it in. And so I was good at having a boss. And then when this guy came to me and said, let me be a 50 50 partner, I thought, I, I know how to do this. Yep. And so one night asleep, I said, yes. Did you talk to Hoby about it? I. Talked to Hoby and I can't remember the conversations crystal clear and I wonder if it's because I don't want to remember. Mm-hmm. Like I don't ever remember him saying, whoa babe, hold on. But I also don't remember him saying, go for it. So I think it was a very murky time for me that I just thought, just do it, Amy. Just do it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> at a desperation almost. And my business was doing great. So that's what was so. Interesting. What do you think that inspiration came from? Fear. That I did not have what it took to actually continue this. Like, oh, this is, I got lucky. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but I can't continue this into where I wanted to go. Got it. So it was the fear that I didn't have what it took. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So, gosh, this whole situation with this partner was such a huge therapy session that cost me a lot of tears. But you know, everything, you look back and you're glad it happened. Yes. So basically what happened is he became my partner and the business exploded. It did really, really well. He is so intelligent and smart and strategic that his ideas were incredible. I did all of them. They worked out great. A few years in, I realized I don't even know who I am. I am this yes girl that is doing everything. And I felt like I was just saying yes to everything he wanted me to do. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. And all of a sudden I realized, oh, I have a boss. I have a boss again. And my whole goal of leaving corporate was to have freedom. And so I, but I was so scared to get out of the partnership because I didn't know what was on the other side of it. And I was even more scared of the pain, the middle part of what is this gonna cost me? Uh, I might have to pay to get my business back. Like what, what the heck? Or the worst case scenario. And we couldn't come to a decision to separate and I'd have to shut down the business that I created from scratch. So. With your name, attached, with. My name attached, my brand, my reputation. So as you know, I cried for about an entire year. Like I couldn't stop the tears. I'd go to bed crying, I'd wake up crying. The fear of losing something I started. And the fact that I made the decision and then I messed it up. This has nothing to do with my partner. He's a great guy. I needed great stuff. Everything to do with why I said yes and why I stayed in it so long. And so this, can. I also speak to. Something else? Yeah. I'm scared it's coming. Well, when we talk about the pain, we talk about the identifiables, um, money, um, shutting down the business. But one of the things that was an unidentifiable thing own? Like what happens if there's a partnership and you guys go your separate ways and it didn't match or supersede what you had done together. Ugh. And that was part of the pain. Ames and everybody, and I remember a very small group of people we sat across from you and we just said like, you are so capable of worst case scenario, maintaining what has already been built. That was the worst case scenario. And of course you blew everybody's expectations outta the water, but that's not here or there. But I really wanna dwell in the pain area because I think that from an outsider's perspective in being your friend. Yeah. When people look at you, you have like that shimmer, like you have the quality of somebody who walks into a room and then the air fills a little bit brighter. And then there's like, you touch a glass of water and there's glitter left over <laugh>. And then like there's little like puppies that hang out at your feet and like, what I left, you hang out. And then if there's a bird that lands on your hand, like you have the Amy Porterfield defect. And I just think that maybe deep down, you know that there's a twinge of that to be true or else you'd be like, nothing resonates with that. If there's a kernel that resonates with it, that is what you emanate to other people. So from the outside, when you talk about present pain and possibility, and when we hear the pain and we talk about like lack of money, like okay, we identify, but like what does that really mean? And then lack of losing the business like oh, pain. But like the deeper thing that I saw as a friend was can I do it the same or better? That's absolutely true. More so what if I can't do it at all, what would that say about me? Right. Right. Everything I've always thought about myself would be true. Then. Yeah. Because it wasn't just a business thing, it was an identity thing. Very. Much of who I. Was. Okay. And I want, I really want to highlight that. And I didn't even ask for permission to share that. But I feel like people who are listening and just like listen, let's call it for what it is, it's never just business. There's so many layers to it. And so the more we talk about the layers, the more that we see ourselves in that story. Absolutely. Because we all wanna walk into a room and have puppies at our feet and touch water turns in glitter. Um, okay, so we're now at the point from the mastermind. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you sleep on it one night, you say Yes, the business explodes. You realize I have a boss of a business that I had started and that person is great and has done great things. I need to let go of something that is no longer serving me. Absolutely. And so here we are and you're sitting in the pain. What are the, the pain, what did you do to help you get through the pain? And then what do you wish you had done differently to get through the pain? Okay. So what I did to get through the pain is I counted on friends. As you know, I could name two to three people that got me through that. And you were one of them. So thank you. My sweet friend. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so I went to my friends a lot and I needed that. And so that was huge for me. Don't ever go through something really difficult in people alone. Good. Number two is that I also worked with a therapist during that time. That was something I needed to do because this pain was uncovering so many of my insecurities. Yes. Because it's not about business. It's. Not about business. Yeah. So I realized, holy cow, I've got some serious work to do on myself. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I started to work on myself that year. And what happened was one night I went to sleep in the whole messy middle of this and I had to get lawyers. Okay. There were lawyers involved, there were documents involved, things I'd never been involved in before. And my lawyer was like a bulldog. So he is like, go, go, go. And I'm like, no, no, no. Hold on. This's not feeling right. Hold on a second. I went to bed that night and cried myself to sleep. Woke up with swollen eyes. And for some reason there was just knowing inside me. And that's when I heard myself, I guess say, I will burn it down and build it back better. That is what I will do. And that is where you've already won came in, you know, you and I have our motto together. I tell my audiences all the time, you and I came up with this motto, I've already won. And it was born in when I called you. And I said, I'll let it go. I'll let it go. We will dissolve the business. I will start from scratch. I know how to make money online now I will start from scratch. And you said then you've already won. I get chills every time I think of that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because that was like my turning point, that moment and from that moment on I thought, okay, so I started to make decisions from a different place that day. Mm-hmm. That decisions from a place of possibility versus the pain is too much. The pain was still there, but it wasn't too much anymore. So I started making. Decisions. I wanna pause. Yeah. You're making decisions from a different place. Yes. Because you said I am willing to burn it down. Yes. I have done it before. I'll do it again. I'll do it again. Yeah. You came to the decision that you had already won. And selfishly I went to a rough patch. You did. Don't even get that. Your rough patch could get me crying. I know, man. I went through a rough patch and I remember I'm out, I'm walking in Newport Beach, the sun hasn't risen and I'm sending you a voice memo. And I remember I was such an mistake that my voice was shaking and I was just like, I'm in a bad place. Yeah. I'm in a bad place. And you didn't have to say much, you just said, sweet Jasmine, you're okay. You're okay. Later that day I come home to the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and all it said was, you had already won Love Amy. And so what we created years ago still acts as a thing for me today because I had said, I'm gonna burn it all you did, I'm gonna burn it all. Yes. And you'd already won. So I wanna invite people who are listening now who are in pain and then they take your advice from, I am willing to sit through the pain. I am willing to do the work that I need to do. I am willing to surround myself with friends. Yes. Perhaps get outside perspective. Yes. From a priest or rabbi, a preacher, a therapist, anybody who you need to give an outsider's perspective. And then you get to a point of saying, I am willing to burn it down knowing that you can borrow this mantra from Amy. And every time you're in that place of pain, what you hear is you have already won. So from that place aims and you start dwelling in the land of possibility. What happens then? I love this question because what happens is you start making better decisions for yourself. Ooh. Because you're looking toward the future. Ooh. And that is when we decided to go to mediation where that wasn't even part of a discussion or part of the, the discussion at all. So we decided to go to mediation again. Something I'd never done before. I was freaked out and we went through a full day of mediation from 9:00 AM to

5: 20:56

00 PM And mediation is very weird where you actually don't even see the person. You're in two different rooms. Ah, yes, yes. Who knew? I did not. And so we sat there and kind of went back and forth, back and forth all day.

And by 5: 21:08

00 PM I called Hoby on the phone and I said, the business is mine. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And that moment was my most favorite moment. And the what he said, I'm sure you used a few bad words. Yes. Excitement, <laugh>. But he was so excited too. Yes. Cause he had seen me kind of a shell of a person for the last year. And so we got to mediation because you know, I don't know what my ex-partner would say, but for me, we got there because I was willing to let it go. Yep. And that's what's so powerful. I think people listening right now, they might not go through any partnership breakup or anything like that, but there is something that if they said, I'm willing to let this go to actually, I don't know what my future holds, but I know there's something better. I have a friend that always says, what's next is better? And I think that's a really good motto as well. And so I think I got to the place, what's next is better, I will figure out and make it better. And that's how we got there. And here's my favorite part of the story. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I should say you have to read the book to get the punchline, but I'm gonna give it here. Thank you. Thank you. See, so hold on. I feel like we need like a laser wa This is exclusive at the jazz store show. So exclusive. Don't tell anyone cuz then they won't get it in the book. I went from 5 million the year that we ended the partnership to the very next year making 16 million. That's right. I wasn't gonna say that. I'm so glad she said it. We were afraid. We were afraid of losing the five. Yes. And when we said we will burn the ship. Yes. You harvested say. Something else. Well, but both, we're both. Wait, I show you all something about Jasmine. I think I've heard you say a cuss word one time in our whole friendship <laugh> where, I hate to admit this with the F word is one of my favorite words, do it publicly. Is Sabrina, I love about Amy. Everybody would look at me and be like, that girl's horse is like a sailor and Amy is just like angelic. And I was like, ah. The only thing holding up this girl's halo is her horns. Okay. So ah, so truthful too. So truthful. Um, no burn the ships, but while you're burning the ships you'll also be burning other things that you know, somewhat sound like that. Yes. So you showed up entirely different. Your energy was different. And so you were saying that like not everybody's gonna Not every gonna dissolve it in the same way, but like, let's bring it down to somebody who's listening now. And they know that even if they're not in a $5 million relationship, that would ultimately turn out to 16 million after they let go what wasn't serving them right. When they're there, let's put it in the context of somebody who has a job that is safe and secure. Yes. And maybe they don't have an acrimonious relationship with their boss. They like their boss. Yeah. Their boss is cool. Their coworkers are cool. They like their two weeks vacation. They like that there's a 401k. They like their insurance, but they know in that knowing I'm not supposed to be here. Yes. What do they do? Yes. What, what kind of frameworks? Okay, so let's talk about this. Because typically you painted a pretty rosy experience where they like all the things, but they have this knowing that's not typically. Well cause what I wanna do, see, cause I'm very dramatic, the juxtaposition. Like somebody hears that and being like, okay, well that's not me. I'm maybe I like my coworkers, I don't like my boss. Or maybe I like vacation, I ain't got no insurance. Like situation's like this is worse. See, okay, did you see how I set you up? Good. That's what friends do. Like I wanna clap you up, queen. I'm setting you up. Setting the stage. Go ahead. I feel it. Run it. Run with it. Okay. So with this, you know that there's something better for you. That's the piece you can't ignore. That's what I ignored. Yes. For a very long time when I was still in my nine to five job. Yes. So if we go back to 14 years ago when I was in a corporate job, I actually did like my boss. I like to travel, I like the money, I like the benefits. Are. We gonna mention who your boss was? Tony Robbins. Okay. Because like, uh, it's not like I like my boss, it's just like this boss actually changes people's lives and legacies. Like yes, she had a good boss and. I got to like travel the world and work on that content that he does on stage. Like I had a good job, but I did have that knowing. So it's funny. Yeah. I was that person also, I was really, uh, overworked at the time. Like I was working crazy hours. So there was that. I was, everything wasn't perfect, but it was good. Yes. Anyway, point being, what do you do? At that point I had to get honest about what I really wanted. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so taking the moment, you know, the why we have to know or why we talk about that all the time in this situation, you need to know it at a deep level. Why is this not where you want to be? What is it that you really want? You have to start out with, I think, what do you not want? Like let's get clear about what's not working for you. And then also what do you want ultimately? Okay, so I'm gonna time out because I wanna make sure that there's like frameworks that people are actually going to use. Yes. I, I wanna pause there and break it down a little bit. Amy says, you need to know why it's not working for you. And what I immediately heard somebody be like, I don't know. So if you don't know why immediately then Amy suggest if I heard it correctly, to list what you don't want. I. Do not want like. What's not working, what's not working for you. Yes. And it could be in your present job or just in general. Like I don't wanna work weekends. Even if you're not working weekends in your current job. Yes. You're just listing it in general. Yes. And then you're gonna make a list of things that you let you up. And are you saying at the end of those two lists you're gonna figure out why it's not working in your current situation? Yes. But let's back up a little bit. Okay. Let's say asking people, what do you want? They could list two or three things pretty quickly after that it's usually very hard to get clear on what you want. Ooh. And so here's one way to find out. When you're online and you're scrolling at night, where do you feel AK jealousy or envy? Because when we feel jealous. Envy of somebody else's success. You have to ask yourself, what about that do I want? Oh, that's so good. Yeah. I, because usually I feel guilty that I feel jealous about someone else's success and I turn that guilt around instantly and say, what do they have Amy that you want? So that's a way to look at. What. You want. Right? Good people. Wanna look at your life and we're filming right now in your beautiful home in Newport Beach and it's like, uh, they look at you and they have a little tinge of jealousy. It's might just because they wanna be home filming in their living room with wonderful people and great environment. So that's the kind of thing you need to think about. Yeah. Okay. So now once you get clear on what you don't want and what you do want, you start to ask yourself, am I willing to go through some unknowns, potential pain to get to where I ultimately want? Mm-hmm. And most of us are like, okay, I'm willing. But then you have to say, okay, what does that pain look like? Because you have to paint the picture of what might happen. Mm. You have to have the capacity for zero. That's where I came in. Are you willing to start with zero Instagram followers, zero people on your email list and maybe make less than you made in your nine to five job the first or second year? Yes. So my first year out of corporate I made just as much as I made at my Tony Robbins job. My second year I made less because I was kind of experimenting, letting go of some clients that I didn't like, didn't know what I was doing. I made less. Okay. Can we pause there? Yeah. Do you talk about this in the book? Like talk about that year? I don't think I talk about that second year. Okay. Because what I wanna know is what were you thinking in that second year? What was the story? What was the narrative? And then how did you actually get from I performed worse. Yeah. So I'll be clear. I made $150,000 my first year of business and I think I made like 120 or 130 the second year. So you said, okay, it's going in the wrong direction. Yes. What was the narrative? What was the thing that got you into the third year? Like what were the changes you made? What were the stories you told yourself? Like what was the mindset shift? Because the third year I was fired. So here's what happened. I decided I had a bunch of clients. So when I started my business, it looks wildly different than it looks today. And I tell all my students the way your business looks, the first two years of uh, starting out is wildly different than it will be in 10 years. So don't think that all the decisions you make are said in stone. That's so important. Good. Give yourself some flexibility in grace. Good. So what happened was the second year I had clients, I started out doing social media for small businesses and I had all these clients and no time to do what I ultimately always wanted to do, which was create digital courses and teach people through my courses. I knew when I left Robins, that's what I wanted to do. So you left Tony Robbins organization to build courses mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And what you realized was that in order for me to get to that point, I need to take on some clients here to get me there. Well the truth was I didn't know how to create digital courses by myself and I needed to make money right away. Got it. So I knew if I took clients I can make money. Got it. And then I thought I'll figure out how to make courses. And then a year passed, I wasn't making any courses. Second year, halfway through not making any courses and then I had some clients that I hated working with. I had this one client that was the biggest jerk and was screaming at me on the telephone and I thought, this is not worth it. You. Have another boss? I, yeah, I have like 10 bosses now. Yeah, exactly. Because I didn't know how to set boundaries. So I went from one big boss, literally Tony's a big guy to like 10 mini bosses and one of 'em screaming at me and I thought, this is not why I left. Cuz my why was freedom. I wanted to work when I wanted, where I wanted, how I wanted and I didn't wanna be on someone else's time or someone else's dime. I want it out. So now I was on someone else's So what happened was I made a very rash decision. I don't necessarily recognize. You slept in it one night, slept. On it one night.<Laugh>. And I let go of some of my clients. A lot of them. Got it actually. Got it, got it. And. I said, okay, it's time to create some courses. So I let go of the clients started creating courses and I did my first big launch, which of course I'm gonna make a hundred thousand or more. Right. Like I know what I'm doing, I've watched other people do it. And I made $267 and that's when I got scared. So my second year was rough and I realized, holy cow, I'm gonna make less money this year than last year. And I just let go a bunch of clients. I just did my first launch. I didn't really have an email list, which is why it was terrible. And I made 267 bucks. Again, there's another theme I cried for about a week and was miserable. And then I thought, wait a second, what is the alternative here? I am not going back to a j o b I have come this far. So I was willing to take that capacity for zero, which is, um, a dramatic way of saying I'll go backwards. Mm-hmm.<affirmative> and I went backwards and I just said, we're gonna do it again. We're gonna launch another course, we're gonna figure this out. Mm-hmm. And I did it again and I made a little bit more money and by this third year I was in my zone. And that is when things exploded. Mm. So when we go back and we talk about the similar, at the time, maybe not as refined, but it was the similar mindset. I am willing to get it to zero. Yes. I am willing to like come hell or high water. I am going to learn how to launch a course. Yes. And it's going to be the thing to get me from here to there. Yeah. So we talk about, like on the outside, it really does sound like you have like a, a mastership or like a desire to continuously refine one's mindset. Yes. And so then what happens when you dwell in the land of possibility? Can you paint a picture for what your possibility has become? Cuz somebody hears a 16 million business, what does it actually look like? Okay. I love this because first I want everyone listening to know that never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd have a business like I have today. I've never been a big, big dreamer. I usually play it pretty safe in terms of my goals. And I never ever thought this could be my reality. However, the reason I got here and what this type of business looks like is because I also knew I never ever wanna lose my freedom again. I do wanna call the shots. I do like being a boss. And so, because I knew that's where I should be, I was able to keep moving forward. Mm-hmm. So I'm speaking to the people that have a hard time dreaming big or making it feel like it's reality. You know how you're supposed to visualize Yes. What you want. I really have struggled with that. I am proof that you don't have to have that all figured out to get to where you wanna get to. So that's the first thing I wanna say. That was really good. I mean, I feel like we could clip that out. It's a real Okay. Like I, I mean that was just great coming hot. It was paint a picture of what possibility looks like because we hear it and myself included, I hear 16 million business. But what does it actually want? Because your north star is freedom. Yes. But in the process and the cadence of getting to freedom, we make this money and are we closer to freedom? Are you living the life that you want? Oh, gotcha. Like paint the picture for somebody says make the pain purposeful. Amy. Yes. Where do I go from here? Okay. So it's absolutely worth it. Having a business like this today, I do absolutely have the freedom. Yes we do. The fact that I got to get on a plane and come to Newport Beach, uh, you know, kind of last minute mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we haven't been planning this that long mm-hmm.<affirmative> and being able to have the freedom to be here and be present knowing I have a team that is crushing it. Yes. That's huge. So I have a team now. Are we gonna tell people what we're doing this weekend? I was. Gonna say I was. Okay. Do it. Do it. Ok. I'm good girl. Spell it Seat. I told Jasmine we have to do a very good job on this interview. Yes. We do our very best work. Yes. Because the reward is why to. Napa we're going Napa baby. Yeah. We leave tonight, which is so fun with our other girlfriend, Brit Seva. And we get to go to Napa and just have a girls' weekend, which is so fun. That's the kindest stuff I love. I have a husband who is a San Diego firefighter for move to Nashville two years ago from Carlsbad and he retired. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So Hoby, he's not gonna love that I say this, but the man's 51 years old, he's not that young. And he said, I'm not gonna start from scratch when you're a firefighter, you have to literally go up against 21 year olds and start in a new town. He's like, uh, babe, I'm good, but not that good. And so, uh, we decided he's not gonna work anymore and he's retired and having a firefighter husband that's gone every 24 hours, my whole life is better because that man is home. Yes. You know, I'm obsessed with him. Yes. So I'd love to be around him, but I get a husband to be at home and he takes care of so much of the personal stuff, allowing me to work Yes. And do what I want in my best self. And we live in this beautiful home in Nashville. We've got this lake house outside of Nashville. I love my life. And it, you know, I never think about it this way Jasmine, but you've allowed me to. I know. I earned it. Yes. I know. I was willing to go through a lot of that pain to get to where I am today. So I'm not gonna say I got here in on an easy path, but I do feel like I got here in the exact way that I was meant to get. Here. It wasn't an easy path. It was the path of possibility. It was that you fully stepped into understanding that you're gonna go through whatever you need to go through because you saw that in the future. And so when people hear this, even if they identify with having a husband with really sexy legs Yes. And, and amazing facial hair. And he's got a really big tush. And I, okay, well I was gonna leave that out of it because I'm jd I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what ho's tush looks like. You better not <laugh> get back. Um, so people, what we want to do, do is really encapsulate what it looks like for their path to possibility. Yes. What does it look like for them? So even if they don't have a lake house or even if they don't have a partner, what you have identified as your north star is freedom. Yes. Freedom to do what you want, when you want, with whom you want. Yes. And so for you, that is your team, that is Hopi, that is spending a girl's weekend where we also get to talk about business is what we do. The reason we like to hang out is because we're just like, yes, we have girl time, but it's like, are we gonna have a massage and talk about business strategy? Cuz you know, that's what we do. That's what I live. We don't. And so what we want people to do is just to take time to identify what is their possibility. Yes. And then measure it against their threshold for pain. Yes. And so on that note, I am happy that we had this conversation because I know that you're gonna be on a billion podcasts talking about your book. Everybody should get this book. But part of why I wanted to have this conversation in this way was because the book is about not just what to do, but it's the only book that teaches people how, like, how do you become your own boss? How do you give 48 hours notice? How do you all that stuff? And we're gonna have an opportunity to talk about that. And yes, that pitch is gonna come, but, but quite honestly, it was before anybody's in the space to make a decision around a 48 hour notice. We have to come to. Lets hey, uh, let's, you're changing the book title. So two weeks notice. Two. Weeks notice <laugh>, I do it fast. Do it. I do it fast. I do fast. Okay. So it's like if I was gonna quit, be 48 hour notices, week notice, two week notice. You're such an. Achiever. You know what, because this is how, this is how we win. This is how we win. Two weeks notice. You can tell how many jobs I had done quit. Right. One. And I gave 48 hour notice. I did it wrong. I did it wrong. I did it wrong. Two weeks notice. Now the book is not just the what it is, the how. It is one of the few books that actually do that. And we wanna talk with more people. Yes. And we wanna do it in February. Yes. And you have invited me to do an event with you. I'm very excited. About this. So here's the thing. People myself, Amy Porterfield, Jenna Kutcher, all of us, we're having a book party. And you're invited. Yes. How do people get, okay. Okay. The book is called Two Weeks Notice, <laugh>, where you wanna Go is every book retailer. Yes. And when you get the book, leave a review. So my friend won't ever talk about herself in this way, but quite honestly, a book review is life changing for an author. She is an author. I, not only am I gonna get a free book because Amy's gonna sending for book. I'm actually gonna buy a book so I can leave a verified review on Amazon. But we are gonna be hanging out in February. Talk to us about how people can get a ticket to come to this online summit. Okay. Love this. First of all, I forgot this and I didn't tell you this earlier. So we're gonna talk about this online summit that is gonna be so fun. But in order to get a ticket to that, you have to order the book. And you have to go to two weeks notice book.com. Let. Me know. You then don't go to Amazon. Oh shoot. But you order it from Amazon, so it's perfect. Oh yeah. Go to Amazon. Okay. Order the book. Okay. And then come to two weeks. Notice book.com. Okay. Enter your information. Thank you. And we're gonna send you a ticket to the virtual event. Got it. That Jasmine and Jenna Kutcher are speaking at. But here's the thing is not just you and Jenna. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Jds not in the room. I know. Hurry, he's he's right up there. Okay. See, see, he comes in. So the, the gentleman, the husbands are speaking as well. Ho my husband JD and Drew Jenna's husband, they're gonna talk about what it's like to support entrepreneurs. The good, bad, and ugly. I'm kind of nervous and. Stuff. They're gonna, so Jie would never speak on stage. Gigi doesn't know that he, he hasn't ever, and so I'm just having it. I'm like, Amy, you're like, when we get there, we're gonna tell him he's going on stage. No, you asked. Him already. He's all over the page. The plan, the plan, the plan is we're gonna get there. I'm like, baby, you are already on the page. We don't give you ask for per you ask for forgiveness, not permission. You are gonna life lessons. Life lessons, <laugh>. But. Amazon, Barnes and Noble, target, wherever you get your books, yes, you're gonna buy your book. And then you're gonna go to two weeks notice. Book.com. See, I only have to hear it once. <laugh>, I'll have to hear it once two weeks. Notice book.com submit. We would love to see you in this online summit. It's going to be absolutely an incredible, because you get to experience more of what Amy is talking about. Jenna Kutcher will be sharing her experiences. I will be able to sh share our experiences. But what we really wanna do is get a community of people who are willing to change their lives from what no longer is serving them. Thank you so much for watching and or listening another episode of the Jasmine Star Show. If this episode has meant anything to you, why don't you at mention Amy Porterfield, talk about her book, talk about what we're doing. Because not only is she gonna be empowering your life to change, she can also be empowering those around you. Like always. It is a blessing. It is honor. Thank you Miss Amy Porterfield for being Love you.