For those of you who are familiar with the Jasmine Star show, I couldn't be more excited to have the man, the myth legend. Hold on, I'm gonna get to his name in a second. But before we do that, we'll start with a little bit of a backstory. Told, you know, probably not better than the man himself. So the story here starts in 2012. Now, this guy cold emailed the founder of Airbnb and he asked, you know, Hey, come visit the office. And so this gentleman was located in Nashville and was like, yeah, I'll see you Monday. Not really knowing how he was gonna get from Nashville to San Francisco. And he flew out there, moved to San Francisco, um, and then the day before he was about to start, he was fired because he lied on his resume. So Sam Parr started his career with a little bit of, uh, with an indiscretion. But Sam says that he had, you know, issues with alcohol in college and didn't disclose that totally wrong move. Or was it, because in San Francisco he met a guy where he co-founded a roommate matching business and it wasn't a great business. He says it wasn't great, but hey, it paid the bills and then it was later acquired. Okay. So what I start seeing from this man's career is a lot of pivots. So then in 2014, he started a conference for startup founders called Hustle Con. And he worked it way to well over 2,500 people coming to this conference. And then two years later, I see another bit of a pivot because he's parlaying what he did at the Hustle and he started that. Um, it's became a newsletter and it's now read by over 3 million people a day. And one of the things I started hearing Sam talk about things like people mocking the idea of this business. Now, there was one media founder who told Sam that he would never make more than a million dollars a year, but Sam bootstrapped it. So let's have an emphasis on bootstrapping to over seven figures a month in revenue. And then he later sold that business for tens of millions to HubSpot by the age of 30. Okay, and that brings us to today, uh, he is the co-host of my first million, one of the most popular business podcast in the world. I am a shameless consumer of this podcast. I think my husband and business partner is more familiar with the sound of Sam and Sean's voice than anybody else in our household. And he also does a lot of other things with Airbnb storage units, new developments, a lot of other investments that we're gonna be talking about today. And also your new company, Hampton. It is a peer group for high growth executives, and that is where our paths intersected. Sam, thank you so much for being here on the show. You are so much better at than I am. I'm gonna steal that and start doing that. That was awesome. I feel hyped. I bet your listeners like, get hyped over that stuff. That was really good. I'm stealing that. Well. Well. You know what the thing is, Sam, it's like I can only hype up the truth. Like, you gotta have a good story. Like you and Sean always say, like, when somebody tells you something interesting, you think that's interesting, and then when somebody tells you again, that's interesting, you know, something interesting you say that's interesting. When somebody tells you three interesting things about you, then change it to you are interesting. So your hype story just is like, you're just an interesting, you're an interesting guy. Um, I have to tell you, big, big fan of the podcast, I've, I've said it before I said it again. And one of the things I found it really interesting is you kept on alluding to this new business you're doing, this new business you're doing now, you don't tell a child of the nineties about this new business because you know, I'm gonna like creep. I'm gonna like tlc like creep on, uh, what you're doing. So I just started doing Google searches and I'm trying to get an idea of what it is you're doing. And then I see a mutual friend of ours, Sophia Amoroso, she tags you in a story on Instagram. And I'm like, she knows the business. Yes. She knew she. Knew the business. And so I hit her up and I'm like, yo, <laugh>. I was like, spill the tea. And so I found kind of like a back way into early beta testing Yeah. For Hampton. And I applied, no, the crazy thing is like I drank your Kool-Aid. Like I applied no website. I think it was like a type form that I like was a type form. Okay. So one of the things that I really wanted to focus on and I really wanted to learn more about was, um, a lot of this, like in between pivots you have a lot of success, but these kinda like quiet moments of you building. And I really think that whenever we have the opportunity to talk to really incredible people, people always are wondering about the pivot. Like, what do you do on the in between? How do you set yourself up for a success? Like how do you even figure out what the heck to do? So if you're a game, I would really love to talk about those things. I call it plotting. I don't call it pivoting <laugh>, I call it plotting or scheming. Oh. Say more, say more, more. I'm like, I'm, I'm always plotting the way that I tend to do things is I plot. So I have like purpose, downtime, and I'm like, I'm gonna, like, for example, I'll see a business that I'm thinking of starting. And like for the case of Hampton, one of these businesses was acquired for a couple billion dollars and I found out the name of the banker who, or the, the, the head of the PE firm that bought it. And I found his phone number and I just cold called him. And like, I'll do that with tons of people or I'll find like when I was starting the hustle. Okay, hold on, hold on, time out. I wanna be like, add extra clarity. You have this idea of percolating for an idea, and you don't even know it's Hampton yet, but there's this idea that you wanna get an aggregate of like young kind of tech web executives together and grow businesses and talk and get real with each other. So this is an idea. And then you see another business that recently sold for Billions. Is that what. Yeah, billions. So you say it's been done. It's possible. And so then you say instead of just kind of like meandering, you go straight to the banker and you just cold call the call banker. The Yeah, the per the new owner of the company. Okay. Um, I tried cold calling the ceo, but I couldn't find his number. But typically what I do, I believe in this thing called icky guys. It's like this Japanese like concept. Have you heard of that? No. It's like, uh, basically imagine like a, a Venn diagram with four circles and it's basically like what skills you have, what you enjoy doing, what the world wants, and what the world is willing to pay for. And the, the goal is to find something right in the middle because if you have a passion and something's not willing to pay for, then that's just a hobby. That's not really a business. So I try to find something like right in the middle. Okay. So, so walk us through, like, I like to get really granular, like in this four part diagram. What were the skills that you had to build the thing you didn't know with Hampton quite yet? What were those skills that you were like, I can do this. I'm good at content creation. I'm really good at hiring people. I'm, I'm, I'm quite good at finding untapped gems in people and empowering them and making them awesome or they already are awesome, but I kind of give 'em the platform. Uh, I'm pretty great at, uh, like spotting different ideas and craft and creating a brand around it. I'm not great at managing lots of people. So for that, what that would mean is like, well, if I'm good at all those things, maybe I should start an agency because people will pay for that and uh, the world wants it, whatever. But like, I'm not wonderful at managing like a thousand people. And that's kind of how you get those businesses to be quite large. Or it could be, well, I'll just create a free community, but it's like, but I wanna build a big business so that like doesn't fit like, you know, my passion, but if it's my skills. So like I was thinking of like different ways that I, it it, it's sort of like an art form when you're writing a like a, like a like a rock song. Let's say you're writing like Sweet Child of Mine by Guts and Roses. Like, I think they created that song because slash was just like doing like a guitar, uh, exercise where he was like working on like, just different melodies. And then Axl Rose heard that and just started humming, uh, you know, whatever the song is. And then like they came up with like a bridge and the further the melody, and that's kind of how it is with Iki guy and building businesses where like there's no like set point every time. You just kind of grab pieces of here and there and then it kind of forms like an art. And that's kind of what it was with Hampton. I was like, I have this idea. I don't exactly know what it is, but I'm gonna research and plot. And so that's why I called that banker. And I've done this all the time. So when I was starting the Hustle, I emailed executives and founders of companies previously that was similar to this. Like one was the Daily Candy, which was like a kind of like what the hustle ended up being, but but mainly for women. And it was around like fashion and like yes, cool stuff to do at night. And then there was Thrillist. So I emailed them and then I go a step further is I emailed the first 10 hires of those companies. And so like with the Skim, the Skim launch, and they had this guy who worked for them named Ryan and I found his number and I just called him, wait, how. Does one, because when you say I plot, how does one just find like, I mean you don't have to reveal your sources, but like people hear this and I'm like, I. Just Google, like, or like for example, I'll go in the glass door and I'll try to like triangulate that with like, who left a review and like what roles did they have? All right, they had this role. I'll go look on LinkedIn, where else did they work? Do I have any connections who can introduce me? Or if you wanna get really crazy, well they live in this city, let's go to the tax assessor's office and find out where they live. And then maybe I could use like, I can like Google the address and find the phone number. Do you know what I mean? Like you could do stuff like that. No, I. Actually don't know what you mean, Sam. This is why you got where you are and which is where I am like tax assessors off. Like no, but now I know, see now I know the goods. Now I know the goods. Yeah. Or like you like Google, like for you it would be like for like I would Google like in quotations Par Sam, because I know that a lot of websites that list people's phone numbers, they'll be in that. They'll like have my name in that order. You know, like things like that. Or you could get really creepy and find out who do they date or who do they married and like can I triangulate? Like you do all this weird, I call it stock and talk. I stock'em, then I talk to 'em <laugh>. And so like you do all this weird triangulation in out. And I basically have tons and tons of notion documents or Google documents where I'm reverse engineering how something works and I'm finding the people and I'm putting it in place and then I talk to 'em. It's just investigative reporting really is what it is. It. Totally is. And so you talked to this investment banker and I know the story, so I'm playing the fool cuz I'm trying to be like all journalistic to show you that I'm a good legit podcaster. But I can repeat the story back to you like probably in a succinct way. You tell him, I know you negotiated this deal. I think that potentially you're gonna wanna buy my company, so why not teach me how to become the thing that you want to buy ultimately Future, future.<Laugh>. Okay. I was very like, I was like, look, what I'm about to sound say sounds really cocky. And I, I'm not trying to come off that way, but I won't let you know that. Like, I'm not a big deal, but I've started a couple things that have worked out. So maybe you should take this seriously. But anyway, I'm gonna start something. I'm either gonna be, I'm probably gonna be a competitor to you in some way, but maybe not. Maybe you'll buy me, maybe I'll buy you, I don't know how it's gonna end, but I have a feeling you're gonna wanna take this call and listen to me. But here's what I'm building. Um, what is there do you wanna contribute to like just knowledge. If you don't want to, that's cool, we're just gonna be friends, whatever I understand. But like serendipity might happen and something will work out. And so that was kind of basically the messaging. And I'll do things like that constantly to people. And uh, if they're like, yeah, I don't wanna talk, which I say a lot of times to people, then I go, it's all good. You have a new friend in the industry, let me know if you ever wanna hang out. Mm. Do you really mean that? Because what I hear like the subtext is like, I think of like a scene from like, I don't know Alexander Hamilton, it's like kind sir no, that I No am down the pub from you. And one day like, is this really like you have a friend or is this like challenge on bro? Like. Yeah, it is. But like for example, one of my best friends is this guy named Austin Re who founded Morning Brew. When we were running the companies, I was like, I'm gonna f and murder you. I'm gonna crush you, but I respect the hell out of you. And like, I really admire you. And now that we're not competitors, I think he's an awesome guy and I thought he was awesome then, but so it's a very much like a boxing match where yes, I I can rip your face off, but like I could, we could be friends <laugh>. So, uh, so no basically a sport. So I I don't have any Ill will and if they want to not tell me, I get it. And so, uh, there's like a gentleman's like, you know, I mean it with the utmost respect. Okay, so, um, as you're plotting and you're using your four-part Venn diagram and you're calling this investment banker and it's a thing that you are, uh, I heard a recent podcast you had said that you were gonna do so before, by. The way, that's like a small part of the story, like the banker thing. Like I did that with like 50 people. No, I know. That's what I was leading into because like I said, I'm a creeper and I could just tell your story back. You know, you're gonna be worried after the podcast and be like, this girl wants to ski me and wear me. Like last year's Versace like, like listen, listen. I do my work. I do my work. We call 'em love knives. It's when people love you so much they wanna knife you.<laugh> <laugh>. I'm not quite there. Not quite there. I have a feeling you have so golden. In the podcast, you drop equity a little bit. I'm like, ah, he's a real person. No, no, I'm saying you have those. I bet you know those people who love you so much, you're like, Uhuh, you're making me nervous. <laugh>. Um, so you had said that you had uh, zebra calendar, like there were so many stripes in your calendar because you were doing research, talking to other people who might be interested in this idea. Okay. But we skipped over a part that I wanna go back to and tap into because I think that what happens is if anybody's listening and they're like me, they look at what you did and say, that's great. It's just so unlikely. Like he thinks so differently. So I came across, if you don't mind, um, you used to write a blog post called the anti b a and there was a post that I came across in 2017 and um, you entitled it How to Measure Risk. Now I wanna read a little bit from it because at this point I am sure that how you're assessing the risk of starting a business specifically because you are in the public eye. So let me read a little bit from that if you would allow me quote. I think most people are horrible at measuring risk. I've been talking to a few people who wanna leave their cushy or boring jobs to either a move to San Francisco to join a small startup, they're passion about, or b, start their own company. What I've noticed about these folks is that most people are horrible at analyzing risk. Here's a simplified version of how I decide on risk. One, write out the risk you're deciding on. Two, make a list of possible worst case scenarios. Three, address each possible worst case scenario and decide if you're willing to be able to be happy if that scenario happens. If not, make a list of solutions so that the possible worst impossible. Overall, this strategy isn't unique. Many of you are thinking this isn't special, this is just common sense. That's true. But it's the process that matters. Most people let their emotions hold them back from doing what they really want. So. Hey, that's a good post. I forgot I wrote that. That sounds great. <laugh>. Uh, like I said, I did a lot of research because I'm really trying to contextualize because the goal after every podcast, my goal is simple, that somebody who's listening can do one thing to get them closer to what it is they want. But oftentimes we lack the frameworks to do it. And so you just broke down three things, how you measure risk. I'm asking as you built Hampton, because you have built other things publicly, like you're sharing the journey along the way. And then what I heard for months and months on the podcast, you're like, I'm not ready to talk about my new idea. So you are super private about what you were building and how are, at this time before anybody knows, maybe it pre precedes the investment banker conversations in the Zebra calendars. How are you assessing the risk of building this idea of Hampton? So I wrote that blog post in 2017. That means I was, uh, 26 or something, 27. So I still believe that, uh, and that's how I measure the risk. But the reality is, is I'm a little bit in a different situation nowadays. So back then my net worth was entirely into that one company. And before that I was poor. And so the risk then was like, well, I'm gonna like leave school early and move to San Francisco. What's the risk case scenario? I gotta move back home. My parents, okay, that's fine. I'll set aside $1,000 that will more than cover a plane ride home. So like that's the risk. And I'm like, and I'll just work out like Applebee's. I accept that that's the worst case scenario. I'm fine I'll just do that. And I have a thousand dollars, 500 for a flight, 500 for the first month while I find a job. I'm good. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So. Can I pause here for a second? Cuz oftentimes people immediately skeptic will say like, when they hear you say, oh, I was poor. You know, you sold your business for tens of millions of dollars. So their standard of poor. Like, people are looking at that and being like, yeah, but your version's different. But I remember hearing on the podcast like, your golden days were like, you had a mattress on the floor of your apartment, a motorcycle and like a Budweiser poster on the wall. Like when we talk about poor <laugh>, well what are we talking about here? Cause people are like, when you say it's poor, like what are we really talking about? Is this like San Francisco startup poor or is this like. I've lived in San Francisco for eight years before, uh, but I'm from Missouri. I, and I lived in Tennessee. I had a hotdog stand and some days I would make a grand, some days I would make a hundred bucks. I spent all the money. So I didn't have a lot of money. I had $5,000 because I had a car. So I sold my car for $5,000. So that was kind of my seed capital to move to San Francisco. But I burned through that because my rent was 1200 or something a month. And I used to tell people as a joke, and I'm ashamed of this, but I would say I'm on the whole food scholarship. I would steal pizza from Whole Foods. I would get like a shopping cart and fill it with groceries and walk around while I was eating a slice of pizza and just walk out <laugh>. So like I, there was like a another scheme, like sometimes I couldn't afford the bus. Like I literally had negative money in my account. And like I realized that the bus, like people who would give you your$60 ticket, they would ask for your id, but you don't have to legally have an id. So I would just say, oh, my name's Greg and I forget my address. And they would be like, well, we can't give you a ticket. Like, I did that like four times. So like literally had no money, uh, many times. And then I like would build something and that would make like $3,000 in a month. It's like, cool, I have a little bit of money. And then sometimes I would spend it just on living. Sometimes I could accumulate it. And so, um, like I, no, I was, I was broke. Now I'm in a very fortunate situation. I have, uh, my parents were very emotionally supportive. So I need you to fly me home, they would've done it. My parents aren't wealthy, you know, I was the youngest in my family and they had a three bedroom house, so there's always a bedroom there. So like I did have a safety mat in that regard. But like when I was in San Francisco and in Nashville, like when I, like, I had like some issues and like, I would like find a couch to sleep on. Like, I, I didn't have no, so yeah, I was pretty broke. Mm-hmm. But yeah, I did have a safety net. So I, I wanna like put the, put that there as context. That's. Good. So I jumped into the story, I apologize, but I really wanted to like set the scene and contextualize what this means. Because when you had said, when you were assessing your risk at 27, you were in a different situation and it was ultimately leading you to how you assess risk now. So we could pick that up cuz I, yeah. Send this on a. Detour. So here's the fact. I wanna like be very clear. I have money now. I have enough money that I don't have to work ever again. So my risk here is different. Mm-hmm. And I don't wanna be one of these guys that like kind of acts whatever. I wanna be real. So my risk here was a reputation risk, which is different. And that's in, it's important, but it's not like feed your kid risk. So I had a big reputation risk here, which was I can't launch something that's bad, you know, or that I'm not proud of. I also had the risk of, I wanna create something that is fun to work on with my friends and people I like working with. And I want to have a good life. So the risk wasn't particularly huge with Hampton. It was just don't look stupid. And if I'm gonna have my friends as my customers, I have to provide 10 times the value, otherwise I'm gonna lose my friends. So that's an important risk, but it's not the same as not being able to pay rent. So, but I still follow that same framework that I wrote about. And so yeah, that was the risk in this case. So it wasn't significant. Okay. So if you are now at this situation where you're working through this diagram, you're doing the work to figure out if the idea is actually like product market fit. If somebody gonna pay for it, how much should they pay for it? And you know that you can add 10 x value to your friends and you feel like your reputation can be intact. Um, at what point do you start reaching out and think, I wanna build this not on my own, I want to build this with somebody else. So, um, Joe Spice, who's my partner in Hampton, he and I basically were like our own, the reason we had the idea for Hampton was him and I would do what Hampton does. We would meet all the time and we would like share our net worth, which when I started was like, you know,$20,000. It wasn't a lot, but you know, like we would talk about like relationship issues, we would talk about all types of stuff. And so I started researching like different businesses and I was like, Joe, I think I'm gonna start something in this space. Um, I might be able to succeed alone, but like, I'm pretty lonely. Do you wanna do it with me? And so there was the emotional aspect, but then it became very evident that operationally he was a 10 and I was not. And so it was kind of a match made in heaven in terms of reaching out to him. So I, I did it relatively early because after I sold my, uh, the hustle, I took like 18, maybe 12 months off. And the first three months was pretty cool to recharge. But then I was like, I'm so lonely. I'm like desperate for a friend that I and, and dopamine rush every day. And so that's why I hooked up with him on like, dude, I need a partner. I want a friend. So. You and Joe were connected just by way of being industry peers and then talking, having, I called him of them. Actually. Can I read something? Yeah. Uh, I first met Sam years ago when he was just starting the hustle. My first thoughts were he's gonna find a way to hustle this startup to success. Back then the newsletter space wasn't as popular as it was now. And yet just the way he called email me and got a meeting was impressive. His best qualities are that he moves fast. He's always open to new ideas and he thinks big. I had an opportunity and that was what Joe had said when he had originally met you. I was like, how did you meet Sam? Like, what was it about him? Because the same cold email that I sent the banker or Cole call I did with him when I was starting the hustle, I didn't know anything about media. So I just like found articles on business insider of media companies they wrote about, and I found his editor-in-chief Gretchen or something like that. And I like got a, I started talking to her and then she told me about him. So I called email them and I was like, Hey, I'm gonna be in New York tomorrow. Do you wanna meet? And he was like, yeah, sure. So I booked a ticket and flew to New York. Uh, like I didn't actually have anything scheduled. And so I met with him and we became friends that way. That is it. You just. I basically just forced myself onto people <laugh>. Like, well, actually, actually, yeah, I mean know, I, I started asking him, because I'm gonna be asking you the same questions. I did this. With you, by the way. I've done this with you. I don't know, I just like ask a question and you just tell me everything I want to know and like, and you help me. Oh yeah. And I'll, and I, I'll, I reciprocate, or at least I tried to mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Yes. But like, I just, I just ask questions. I don't know. I don't, I think people are afraid to do that. They don't wanna look stupid. The crazy thing is, the reason why I joined different groups and Hampton was so outside of the norm of what I would normally get into. It's, I've never done anything in this capacity. Um, you know, like when you hear the word mastermind, it has a tendency, like an undercurrent of like digital marketing and a very structure. I had never done like executive peer-to-peer feedback. And I was like, this is new in it's different space. And so I didn't know how to behave. So I'm walking through a whole new like, ecosystem of how it's done. And I am just watching the community is primarily, you know, primarily guys. I know that that's changing, but like I'm watching to see the way that people do business in a very different way and I'm learning to it is very cool. And so of, of big. Thinkers Oh. Huge thinkers and very direct. Like, it was just something that I was just, you just are simply asking questions and I'm so excited to like help. And then it's reciprocated. And as you're building, if you're thinking about this big picture, the way that you've done it and the way that you did it with Joe, I wanna ask like, what are the three things that you're looking for as a co-founder? So somebody's it in the middle of a pivot and they're like, I don't wanna do this alone. But before you answer, can I read Joe's answer? Like, what he was looking for when it came to a co-founder? Um, he says, when I look for a co-founder, my priorities are threefold. Number one, would I enjoy being delayed at an airport with them for many hours with Sam? Yes. Two, do their skill sets compliment or overlap mine? I look for compliment no overlap. And that was one of the things that you had mentioned, like operations, like he's a 10 and three. Are they an optimist or a pessimist? I look for an optimist as I'm jaded enough. So do you consider yourself an optimist? Yeah, I Did you ask him all this stuff? Hey, don't worry. I plot bro. I plot. This is me plotting. Good. I'm trying to find the exact document that we made, but yeah, I'm an optimist. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. I'll try and find it. But basically we basically made like a, I don't know, here it is. I, I have it right here. Um, I can send it to you, but I don't want you to share this. I don't want you to read all of it, but I'll let you skim it. Um, but basically we made an agreement of like, I just said, like, what's important to you? And he said, uh, what's important? Or, you know, we each wrote what's important to each other. Mm-hmm. We said like, what do you want your typical data look like? What does success look like? Like what values do you wanna live by? And we said, cool. There's a lot of overlap here. We can work together. Um, here I just pasted it in here, in this, uh, in this I got it. Zoom. You should be, um. Yeah, I'm gonna be able to open it. Ooh, I'm not gonna read it. But, uh, like, so just, you. Can read some of it. Don't read some of the numbers, but like, right. I'll read a few of mine. Um, yes. I said I want freedom. I want the ability to live in different cities with my family. I wanna be able to fly private. I wanna be present with my children and wife. I wanna own different real estate, uh, throughout the country. I want fun, adventure and living on my own turns. I wanna work very hard, but like a lion. I wanna work really long hours, but then I wanna take a vacation for four weeks. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and so, uh, and I wanna be able to travel the world comfortably. And then I said that what I want for Hampton is I want companionship with you and other coworkers. I want no outside ownership, meaning no vc. I want to get to a hundred million in revenue in a short period of time. I want this to be my main job. So I'm working 40 plus hours a week, and then I don't wanna work on other stuff. And then Joe said he wants flexibility and freedom. He wants no office. He wants to work remote. He wants to enjoy his work. He wants to work on something very exciting and challenging. And he likes working with me. He said he wants to make a certain amount of money. Uh, he wants influence and respect and, um, he enjoys like proving people wrong, which I wrote as well. He wants to look back 25 years from now and have a really cool real estate empire. He likes having a skeleton crew, so a small team, and he wants to keep the, uh, overhead lightweight so we can move quickly. And so we basically like wrote out that and we said, cool. I think there's a ton of alignment here. Mm. So I'm gonna repeat back because as we're listening or as we're watching when we talk about pivots, we're actually dissecting the way It doesn't have to be this way, but I found it pretty fascinating because what I saw in Sam's story, the more that I dug in, was that it seemed like every two or three years something had shifted. And I wanted to get into the mindset of what he was during those moments of shifting because my career very differently, but has followed that cadence of every three years, something like shifts for me. And so I wanted to know Sam is getting different results than I am. So selfishly I get to have this podcast in service of others, but I wanna know how is he approaching the game differently? And what I've picked up is, during the downtimes, there is a distinct moment of down. Then he's assessing that Venn diagram four part, like look at it as a leaf and the center point is the thing that he should be creating. And then what he starts doing is he starts plotting who can get me the information, the answers, the connections that I want to know. And as he's doing that, he's researching to see what product market fit is. This is all before anything has been formalized. And then he decides, do I wanna do this with somebody else, or do I want to do this on my own? And then what he does is that he goes out and lays the terms for what he wants to do as he builds with somebody else. I think that is really, really fascinating. Did I miss anything in there, Sam? No, you did great. You're really good. Um, one thing that maybe you missed was I say the price I'm willing to pay. Um, talk to me, what do you mean? So like in there, I said, I'm gonna work this hard, so I'm gonna work really hard. So here's the price I'm gonna pay. I'm gonna put, I'm willing to do all this. I'm gonna go all in. We also said, here's how much capital we're willing to put up. Um, and so in this case it was millions of dollars. Uh, like, you know, here's what we're willing to spend. Um, and then I say, here's the price I'm not gonna pay. So I, I say, so I set the terms, which yeah, I guess you said it. Mm. You're very, you're very talented at this by the way. Oh, stop. Oh, stop. Oh, stop. For. Real. You're really good. Lastly, though, um, oftentimes the things that I've heard with, uh, partners, life partners, business partners, co-founders, is that we often assume, and studies show that we often assume that the other person or the other people know how we feel about them, when in fact they're actually not quite sure. So I said, Hey Joe, what would you say to Sam to make sure that you know, like how much you appreciate him? And he said, the Hampton community is something special. And cracking the chicken egg around membership in the beginning wouldn't have been possible without Sam at all. So I think it says a lot about your partnership and how you honored that. What are some mistakes or what are things that you wish you had learned earlier or done differently? Like was every co-founder relationship this great? Like. No, a lot of 'em, right? So most were bad. I mean, it's the same thing with, with girlfriends and, and things like that. Like, you have to mature. You know, my wife and I, my wife is very emotionally stable. I'm, I'm very up and down. She's more of a rock and like what I learned with some, I had other long-term relationships. And you kind of get into it and you realize, oh man, I I still I love you, but like this, this won't work. Or we don't want the same thing. And so with her, like six months into the relationship, or maybe three months, we, I, I sat down and this was really nerdy, but I go, tell me the life you want in 10 years and let's like, put a price on that. Like, we'll even say like, literally me, the material things you want. Tell me the values you wanna live by, where do you wanna live? Let's make sure that the life that you want is the same as the life I want. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so like, I actually think that it's important to have some of these almost nerdy, but definitely awkward conversations and just like, be pretty meticulous about it. And you just, you kind of gotta be mature. It's quite challenging. But I do that with a lot of relationships where I just, where we literally map out and I go, no, no, no, you have to be specific. Tell me exactly what you want. And when you have that conversation, you say like, well, I accept that you say you want that, and I accept that it may change, but let's just like paint a picture of like where we want to go and, you know, maybe there's some, um, it's gonna deviate, but that's cool, but I just wanna know. And so yeah, I do that early on. I didn't do that earlier in my career and I had a couple bad, uh, all types of bad relationships including co-founder relationships, and we just totally didn't align. But we would work together because of convenience. And that's a pretty bad thing to do. Um, I wanna tap there for a second, but I do wanna take a second. Um, your wife's name is Sarah, and I haven't met her personally, but you talk about her often on my first million. And when you talked about the frameworking around what it is you want, my husband and I we're co-founders, business partners, we've been high school sweethearts, we've grown up together. And every year around the end of the year, we tried to set like intentions terms. And after listening to a podcast where you got really, really specific about the cost you're willing to pay, um, it really changed the way that we approached specifically as we started a family. And there were things that I was, something. I I. Said there. Yeah, you, you, you actually, no, no, no. Not to me. You were talking on the podcast about that. You, you keep on saying, oh, it was really nerdy, it was really geeky. But we sat down and I was like, I don't think it was nerdy or geeky. It gave almost like a, a deeper insight instead of like, oh, our goals for the year and what we want. It was actually setting terms and talking about, this is what I want, but it's gonna come at a cost. And then acknowledging the cost at the beginning was a total game changer for us because it's not like, well, I said I wanted this, but we didn't identify what we would have to sacrifice in order to get that. We have to not just say, this is the thing we're going for, it's what are we okay with in terms of sacrifice? And I've spoken about it before on my podcast. So like, what it meant for me to continue being this e o of social curator as well as taking on other business endeavors and investments and travel. Like I said, I want to continue traveling. We could both say, yeah, amazing. Great. But the cost of it, the cost of it is in order for me to travel and still be present as a wife and mother, we're traveling together. And that comes at a cost a little across like physicality time, but also monetary that my travel costs are gonna be now tripled because it's three seats in an airplane. Things like, things of that nature. So I think that what I took from that conversation wasn't just like, oh, let's have some like goal setting. It was counting the cost of what it means to achieve those. Goals. Yeah. And whether it's your business partner or your wife or husband, right? Partnerships are all the same, right? Uh, you know, where you have to like get aligned and have all that trust. The reason why I call it nerdy is because some people have like OKRs for the relationship, and I'm cool with that, but I don't want to like, make it entirely like a business relationship, you You know, I'm an emotional human being. It, I'm half emotion, half logic, maybe more emotion. But, uh, so like I do want, and I do want space for, I do it just cause it's cool. Like too often business people, they're like, well, you have to optimize that yda. I'm like, yeah, but it's dope this way<laugh>. Like, and that's, and that's like a good enough reason, right? Like, I mean. I have to say, Sam, I have to say that I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never like add to my ledger like the fun cost, right? To me, I'm like, I like to do, I find joy in doing, and I know I'm, I'm weird. I just like it. I, to me, people are like, well, what do you do for fun? I'm like, I, I like business. That's my fun. That's my hobby, right? And so joining Hampton forced me and I said, I'm gonna do things different in 2023 in regard to my business than I've ever done before. And I'm like, I don't know what that actually looks like, but I'm around people who think fun should be on their emotional ledger. And I was like, interesting. And so Hampton is hosting an event for you guys. I've never even heard of this freaking word before. Rally. Car. See? Yeah, baby. Do it. Dude. Well, you stole my thunder. I was like, what the hell's a rally car? I literally Googled, what's a rally car? And so Hampton has these like breakout in-person events, right? So let me just quickly explain that. What Sam and Joe are trying to build is big, really big. They want a big community of like-minded people. But in order for people to be like fully bought in, you're put into a cohort anywhere from eight to 10 people with a, around a similarly sized business. And so you meet with this cohort once every month, but then they have in-person events that are open to everybody. So you're gonna have opportunity to mix the people who are doing like a hundred million to 1 million or what, or actually the, the bar for Hampton to apply I think now is like 2 million. So you're working with Yeah. Something like that. And so I decide that I am going to apply to go to this rally car event in fricking Texas. And I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I feel like I'm so out of my element, but I said, if I want different results and I'm looking at somebody do, I'm just gonna copy it until I make it my own. So look at me. Yeah. Adding fun in my life. Shits. And giggles. There needs to be a place for that. Oh, come. Oh Lord. See already I'm like, oh man, maybe I, maybe I should request a refund. <laugh>. No. Like, I don't know. We only have one life. We gotta do stuff this I know. Cause sometimes, and so I know I, I like doing too, but then I, like, I try to live, uh, in a way that makes my 12 year old self proud. So like, I have all types of toys. I buy toys like crazy, like motorcycles and weird stuff on Amazon just cause, and it just makes me happy. So I think there needs to be like space for dumb stuff. I agree. Well, I'm learning, I'm learning to agree, but in, in service of people who are listening, um, I can distinctly feel like strongly that there's somebody who's listening to the podcast and they love their life partner. They're somebody who's listening to the podcast and they really love their co-founder. But they know that if they were to have these, we are setting terms and the cost of the terms, there's going to be misalignment. And so what I don't wanna do is assume that everybody's at the point of, oh, I'm having this conversation before I'm married, or I'm having this conversation before I agree to co-found a business. When you are in the middle of, and you've had relationships with co-founders where misalignment, like what are the patterns? What are the conversations? What kind of changes are you making? Like what is happening in that messy middle. Resentment? So usually resentment's like the worst thing to have to where it's like you're holding me back. Um, so like with Joe and Jordan, we have a CEO Jordan, like, it feels like we egg each other on in a really healthy way. And so that feels good. Resentment is the opposite of that, where it's like, you're not pushing me forward, you're holding me back. And so resentment's real, um, that sucks. And it is real. I think that, have you ever had. A break from a co-founder? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's the roommate matching thing. Um, yeah, he's a wonderful person. It just like, I remember the distinct thing. I was like, which band do you want this company to be like? And he named like some small, like no name indie band. And I was like, I wanna be Lady Gaga. I was like, like, I wanna, like, I'm trying to take over the world, bro. I'm not trying to like play at a little small club in a van. Like I, I wanna fly private and like meet Obama. I don't wanna like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, I want, like, I want someone to like put the poster on the wall because I came to their hotel. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I want that. Good. So then what happens, like when you realize that you guys wanna be two different bands. You gotta cut. I think you, you, you end it. Mm. Like you end it, which sucks. But I think you have to do that. Mm. Okay. So as we talk about this, there's a difference between I know I need to end it versus I'm not sure I need to end it. So when you're not sure if you need to end it, there comes like this idea of, um, hearing feedback. And so I did go back to 2014 of the anti M v a blog post. Keep in mind the things that you're citing. The weird thing about being like, I'm not like exactly a public figure, but like writing in public is, so in 2014, I was 24 mm-hmm. <affirmative>. What I always tell people when they read my old stuff, I go, Ibel, I still believe a lot of it. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. But you have to understand, I'm evolving. So I hope what you're about to say, I don't look stupid. Well. What I will say though is from the 2017 blog post, the, the caveat was that you had said the risk was assessed differently than food in a roof over my head to, um, social equity and respect from people you really love and respect, okay, different. But I actually strongly feel like, based on what I know, I feel like we're still gonna be hitting like a 95%. I put my stamp of approval on this one. So research quote, research shows that negative feedback helps us learn and grow more quickly than positive feedback. However, n negative feedback only works if you're in the right mindset. Otherwise it could be catastrophic. You must make it about the thing you did and not about you. You have to be really secure and feel good about yourself if you are getting critiqued, if all you're getting is critiqued. So really the key to build up your self-esteem muscles you are okay when things go wrong. And that feedback is about what you're doing and not who you are. Decouple performance from self-esteem. So you had said how you like to get feedback, and so yeah. I still do that. Talk to me and talk to, so, so this is why I'm like, I still strongly feel based on what I've heard, that that's what you like. And so here we are, we're talking about what you've done to pivot. You've talked about, you know, co-founder relationships that aren't working well, what you learned applied it to this new working relationship. But as you grow with Joe and Jordan and the whole team, you're bound to get negative feedback, but you're not like, I'm gonna ruin, you know, throw this relationship away. How are you prepared for that? And how vital is it to keep going? Like, we have to get negative feedback. How do we prepare ourselves to hear it from our team? Negative feedback is the best stuff. So like, usually when I get negative feedback, I try to compliment the person and I say, I'm so thankful that you told me that. So I'll give you a very specific example. Yesterday, um, for a while I told Jordan, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow. And then when we got like 5,000 applications, I was like, f this man, don't grow that fast. We can't ruin this. But I said that in front of a bunch of people. He goes, can I talk to you privately? I said, yeah, sure. He goes, pick a, pick a side. Either tell us to grow or tell us not to grow. But you can't say that in front of everyone because you're gonna make me look stupid if I'm giving orders. And I was like, you're totally right. You're 100% right. I'm so appreciative that you called me out on that. So another example, like with the pod, like here's just like really a more specific examples. Like sometimes people will like make fun of the way I look and I'm like, oh, you're right, I'm fat. I I probably should get, I should like lose weight. Like I'm chubby. Like when I, I used to be a little chubbier. And then now that I'm like very comfortable with my body, people will make fun of me. I'm like, oh yeah, but that's bullshit. Like, I'm fine, I'm great. So like I pick and choose kind of who it is that I listen to, but sometimes I try to like listen to the feedback and I say, are they right or wrong? And I really reflect on it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And if I think they're right, then I actually try to like listen to it and act on it. But sometimes it's like, like I don't care. Like for example, on my podcast when they say like, um, this guy's a tech bro. I'm like, well, am I like Broy? I'm like, I don't think I am. I think I look like it, but I don't think I am. So I'm just gonna like ignore that, uh, uh, that that's not, that's bad feedback. Or this person's just projecting because of the way I look. Or if they say like, the audio production sucks. I'm like, yeah, I know it sucks, but like, I don't care. I'm focusing on the content right now. I'll get to it later. I'm not listening to that. So like, I pick and choose like what I listen to, but usually what I do is I create a Google form and I ask people two questions like, what do you think I'm doing well at? Where do I suck? And I don't even read the well thing. Like I don't care, that's just a red herring. I just wanna like distract them. And then another good question is like, what am I out of 10 for these specific things? And usually everyone's gonna say like a seven or an eight and you'll be like, all right, great. How do I get to become a 10? And then that's when they tell you like, where your weakness is. And so I, I do that a lot. Mm. I have a personal example. Yeah, let's hear it. Okay. That was me leading you into the say more like I was sending you up. I said. Let's hear it.<Laugh>. Um, okay, so I don't know how the conversation began, but I sent you a message on ha in Hampton and I was like, where are all the girls at? I don't know where we got that. And I was uncomfortable saying that because it almost made me feel like I couldn't hold my own in the community. But I was just asking. But did you think that I was uncomfortable receiving that? I wasn't at. All. Zero. No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. But, and that's why I wanted to bring this story up was because instead of you asking more questions, you immediately owned it and said, got me ideas. And it was, well. I think I said, I think I said, you're right. This is embarrassing. Um, <laugh>. Well, I wasn't gonna say that. I wasn't gonna be like, yeah, you said you were really embarrassed. No, I mean. Yeah, I was, I was like, you're right. This is, this is stupid. Uh, like this is a total failure. You're totally right. Um, mm-hmm <affirmative>. And sometimes I'll ask people for ideas. I don't think that earnest should be on you to tell me how to do my job, but I do like look for feedback. But, uh, yeah, it's embarrassing. Um, there's no doubt about. That. Well, I wanna talk about what I, what what I really wanted to, to focus on was, number one, there's a difference between receiving feedback and taking it as criticism or a critique. A criticism is just saying what you're doing wrong. A critique is like, maybe we could try different approaches, which you were so willing and able to listen to. But it didn't stop there because you set up a meeting for me to meet with this guy named Jordan, who I didn't know at the time, was in the process of becoming the c e o of Hampton. So what you essentially said was, I hear it, we're gonna start acting on it, but we're gonna make it more of a, an official thing. And to be able to talk to the c e o of this amazing big organization and have him listen and hear and ask for ideas, I did not feel like I was asked to fix a problem. I was asked to add color and insight to how it might be approached. And so I wanted just to take that as a takeaway for listeners because I too pick and choose the feedback and criticism that I receive from the stuff I pull out. So in the context of as we pivot, we're going to be starting new things. And in the process of starting new things, there are a bunch of unanswered questions and a litany of ways to get better. It's not enough. Now, the bar, what I have learned going through this experience, it's not enough to say I hear you. And it's not enough to say like, I will change. It's, I want you to see actions that we're taking on the back end of that. So I wanted to highlight that as a main key takeaway. And also when I get feedback in public, my knee jerk reaction, I was just talking to a friend of mine, um, who is in Hampton, who criticized someone on Twitter. And I said, Hey, just so you know, you're criticized, you criticize this person and you're right. But if you ever did that to me in public, I'm gonna, like, my knee jerk reaction is to like get a fight with you in public and like, because you just embarrassed me. You should have told them maybe privately. Um, because like, even though you're right, it was pretty embarrassing because you could make 'em look silly. And so my whole thing, cuz we're in public and people make fun of me all the time, um, on in YouTube comments and on Twitter, I ha sometimes I like, I'm like, I'm biting the bait, I'm getting into it. And, but then a lot of times I have to remind myself like, don't react. Don't react. Please don't react. And so it's, it's the right way is to be graceful, but uh, you can't give feedback negatively in public otherwise it's just bad for the recipient. So what, what for you? I mean, I have a bar. I take it all. Like, I take it all. I'm like, listen, like the thing I tell myself is like, people who are doing better than me are not leaving the negative comments. So this is like, that's literally what I just, I'm like, okay. I just tell myself like, listen, you got too much time sitting on your couch with those Cheeto orange fingers for you to type on the keyboard and tell me your opinions about me. But my line is if somebody comes at JD or Luna. Mm-hmm Dad <laugh>. It's like I'm wore some big hoop earrings. Like, hold my earrings, gimme my breast knuckles. We going down honey. We going like, no, no, I'll take it. They never. Up. I feel like kill mode. They never signed up to be in the arena. They're bystanders. You touch them, you better run. And if you take a swing at me and you miss mm, you better sleep with one eye open. I'll tell you that much. Uh, what's your like, alright. Yeah. If it's family, I'm like, k kill mode activated <laugh>. Uh, so yeah, it's the same thing. Um, if they attack my integrity, like for example, this one person, so like, I usually start startups, but I love doing like information products. I have this thing on like how to write better and someone made fun of me and they're like, this is a scam. I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? How is this a scam? And like, what am I, so if they attack my integrity, uh, I, I'll usually pounce. I'm like, what do you, what's the scam here? Show me proof, show me evidence. Uh, don't, don't like make this out like I'm a liar. So if they do that, I get really angry, but if they just say I'm stupid, I'm fine with that because they're probably right.<Laugh>. Um, as we kind of like, uh, dovetail towards the end, one of the things that Sam was talking about, so y'all can see for yourself it's a scam or not. Uh, if you go to copy that.com, um, I actually came across copy that before I actually knew Sam in the capacity that we know each other, which is like big air quotes. I just say it so that I sound cooler as a podcaster, um, was going through what it meant to sell in a different way. So I grew up, grew up, yeah, I grew up in this industry learning like, oh, this is the methodology of selling. And then I came across a very simple page, uh, lead acquisition, making an offer. And I was like, whoa, this is, was it good? It was really good. It was really good. It was really, really good. And so, um, I say that first and foremost as a outsider going through that experience and then I say it now with somebody who like knows you and be like, listen, check it out for yourself. Um, Sam, I have to say thank you. I'm gonna pull back a little bit. And so that my goal is fulfilled and the goal is to get somebody to taking action. And so if you find yourself in search of or desire of a pivot or you find yourself, um, a k a plotting for the next thing, first thing is to do, do deep dive of that diagram. Find out your special center and then do the diligence and work to figure out product market fit. And if anybody can help you understand the industry and get due to where you wanna go faster, then you get to ask yourself if you wanna build a loan. And that's totally cool. And if you're at a place, if you want to find a co-founder to go through some of the frameworks that Joe and Sam listed and to understand that there is a cost of everything you're going to do and to make sure that your life partners and business partners are co-signed on that cost. And then also understanding that every time you do something new is you develop your next pivot and you're plotting in your next venture, you will be criticized. And criticism and critiques are a good thing as long as you're setting the framework for them. Sam, how can people get more information about who you are and what you do? So I have a few things. Uh, I'm active on Twitter. That's kind of like where I like to nerd out. So my name is thus Sam Par on Twitter. You're always criticizing my Instagram. It's, it's not the best. I think you said it's a. Critique, bro. I give you ideas whenever I say like, Hey, we gotta up the game. It comes with this is what you could do. You know, I'm bossy, like I'm a boss. So I was like, listen, let's go. Here's the plan, get. At it. And I agree with you, my feedback to that is I just don't wanna be on my phone. I wish Instagram would let me do all this stuff on the computer on the desktop. I'm like, I don't wanna touch this phone. I hate this, but yeah, my Instagram, yeah, I think you said quit posting shirtless pictures of you working out. And I was like, yeah, that's probably right. <laugh>. So if you happen to be one of the very few people that wanna see that, that's available <laugh>. Um, Twitter, uh, joint hampton.com is Hampton the Hustle. I don't own it anymore, but I still love it. And, uh, we talked about copy that you can just go and look at it. It's a fun, uh, sales page. I like writing that type of stuff. Um. And understanding that copy that is for people who want actually want to learn how to write better copy. And it's very rote. It's doing the work again and again. It's like a, a proven age old approach on writing better copy. It's like learning to play music when you learn to play music. I love music analogies cause I like music. No one gives you a guitar and you say, go write a song. You like play other people's music and you learn like the texture, the patterns, the melodies. You do that for a little while and then you'd be like, oh, I love this thing, this thing, this thing and this thing from these eight people. I'm gonna combine them. But cool, I've got something really unique here. And that's the same thing with the writing in my opinion is mm-hmm<affirmative>, it's really hard just to be like, oh, just go be a good writer. Instead, it's easier to copy other people and then just like, learn different patterns and best practices and then, uh, and so with writing you can literally copy things out by hand. Mm-hmm.<affirmative>. Um, and, and it's very effective. So yeah, that's what it is. On that note, I wanna say thank you for allowing me to copy your version of Roro where your boat and, uh, happy birthday on my business guitar. And one day I'm gonna come up with my own riff and Axl Rose will be like, sh this girl, she's got it <laugh>. She's got. It. Dude, you're like a rapper. You come up with all these good phrases like very quickly. You're very, uh, you're, you're you, you've got, um, and we can talk about this and copy that actually. You have, um, rhythm, you've got very good rhythm when it comes to speaking. So, uh, thank you. You're, you're, I like I'm learning from you. Thank you Sam. Thank you. Thank you for being on the show. We look forward to if you have enjoyed this conversation with Sam and you're on Twitter, give a shout out and or tag him on Instagram so that he really ups his game. Because while we love photos of his dog, Sid and his gorgeous wife Sarah, we would really like for him to showcase more of this business prowess online as he builds out funnels and ways for people to connect@joinhampton.com. Y'all like always and is an honor and a privilege. Thanks for listening.