Jasmine Star (00:00:01) - Welcome back to The Jasmine Star Show, a place where we talk about business, marketing and today, embracing the hard stuff in business that makes us show up bigger. So I'm going to keep it real with you the way I always do. And I'm going to start off by speaking my truth. There are times when we disappoint people. There are times we get criticized, and there are also times when we want to quit. But the fact that you even push play on this podcast tells me that you have the eagerness to learn and grow and become a next level entrepreneur who isn't going to avoid challenges. You and I. I think we're going to embrace those challenges, and then we're going to learn how to be better and become wildly profitable in business. Yes, profitable. Okay. So this year, if you notice in the podcast, I have been openly embracing talking more about money. I want to normalize the conversations and why I think it's really reared its head in a new way.

Jasmine Star (00:01:09) - Is at the top of the year. I joined a mastermind in my cohort is an all male mastermind, and one thing that I noticed that was a big difference in an all male mastermind with me as the only girl in it is. They talk about money, and they talk about money in a much different way than I have ever experienced it. And it's so normal in that environment that I want to start making it normal in my environment. And since you and I are here today, let's talk about normalizing that. And one thing that has been a really cool thing this year is I am in a text message group with women who talk about money and not talking about money as like, look at how much I made. It's talking about it in the way of conveying what is working and what's not working. And we're open about sharing strategies, about growth and money. And I thought to myself, this podcast should always be a way, as an extension of what I am doing and learning, even in the messy middle.

Jasmine Star (00:02:10) - So even though today we are not talking about money per se, it is in the way of me showing up bigger in my life, in business. And that's what I want to talk about today is showing up bigger in life and business. So I'm going to walk through four mindset driven strategies that have been transformational in my life in business. And I'm going to start at the beginning so you know exactly where we're going. The four strategies are number one being who you are and not what people think you should be. Number two, setting hard boundaries and saying no. Number three is challenging the norm and embracing leadership. And number four, being vulnerable and sharing the hard stuff. Oh yeah, this is like a smorgasbord. Like, have you ever stood in line at a Vegas buffet and you're like, lots of good stuff here. Where am I going to jump in? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the buffet that is this podcast. I'm talking about how I've been showing up really different this year, and I want you to do the same in your own way.

Jasmine Star (00:03:11) - So the first strategy to show up bigger is being who you are now, not who you once were, not who people think you should be. And I'm going to start this episode being very personal. So in my family, I am the eldest of five children and my siblings, maybe occasionally aka all the time, would refer to me as the bossy big sister. And I joke that I'm not bossy. I'm a boss, so we're here to get things done. Okay. But I think it's a role that I play distinctly in my family. And growing up, my mom would often say, or she'd introduce me as like the responsible one. I am responsible in our family. I am a fixer. Growing up in high school and in college, my mom was very ill. She had severe severe asthma attacks. She had cancer, she had palsy. And when I was living at home, whenever my mom had a severe asthma attack, she wouldn't wake up my dad. She would come and wake me up.

Jasmine Star (00:04:13) - She didn't want to bother my dad. So that's my mom. She's very, very, very sacrificial. But sometimes it would come at a cost of her where she would wait so long that she would be in a very disastrous situation. And my grandfather passed as a result of an asthma attack that turned so severe it affected his heart. So he had an asthma attack and a heart attack at the same time, which has, like deeply rooted fear in my mom that she's not taking care of herself. So you could just imagine, uh, teenage years into my early 20s, when I would move home from college during the summer if my mom had an asthma attack. She's coming into my room, and I knew immediately the sounds. It was like the firm jiggle of my handle. She would walk in and she would say, Jasmine. And then I would just wake up and I would just know I'd thrown my shoes. By this point in time, I get scalding hot water, put in a cup, I get her in the car, I turn on the air conditioner full blast.

Jasmine Star (00:05:06) - I force her to drink hot water, and I'm just blowing through every red light to get to the hospital. When I say my mom has severe asthma, there were times where she was put on life support like it was very serious. And of all of her children, her spouse included. I was the one who took her. And so that is the role I played for so long in my family. And then over the last five years, I started doing a lot of work. I started unwinding this belief system, right, that I didn't have to be responsible. And it feels like I kind of just stuttered there for a second, because it's still hard for me to say that I don't have to be responsible for everyone all the time, and I don't have to be responsible, and there's no guilt around that. I am choosing to help people by guiding them to help themselves, and not simply ask me to get it done. Now, obviously I use the example of my mom with her asthma attack like she couldn't drive herself.

Jasmine Star (00:06:09) - I get that, but that was just like one example of many things that I would do in my family and for close friends that like, if you're in a pickle, call me. I'm gonna figure it out. Like, you need something. I'll give you the shirt off my back. I'll give you the last penny in my bank account. Like I'm one of those people who I'm like, I'm going to make this work. That's always been my personality. I. And then in the process of helping people, I was actually hurting myself. And I would feel really guilty and beat myself up for not being able to help people in the capacity that I wanted, even if I wasn't responsible. So I was carrying a subconscious belief that I was responsible for them, and then I would beat myself up if I couldn't deliver. But in the process of always taking care of things, I never really empowered people to figure out a way that they could help themselves. Now, I think you're able to show up as your biggest and best self.

Jasmine Star (00:06:57) - When you feel energetic about what you're doing, about what you're sharing and creating. Now I get it. Everybody has bad days, but it won't feel forced, as if you're trying to fit into a box that isn't made for you anymore. And I've had to take a big step back and really analyze who and what am I truly responsible for. And if I am not truly responsible for a situation or a person, then I really need to have a conversation about helping them figure it out for themselves. And so when you are figuring out who you are now and not fitting into the version that people want to hold you to, here's a few questions I want you to ask yourself to ensure you're being true to who you are. Now. Question number one what in my business brings me the most purpose? And what do I feel the most passionate about? Being who you are as a business owner begins with discovering your passion and your purpose. And I know that sounds very woo, but I am telling you, if you could just pinpoint why you get up in the morning to run your business, it changes everything.

Jasmine Star (00:07:58) - Because when you align your business with what truly motivates you, you'll have the energy and desire to keep moving forward. And I believe that you can continue to keep moving forward, even if you get knocked down because you're passionate. And that kind of like beautiful mix of getting back up, that beautiful mix of like, resilience, pushing forward, making courageous decisions. Like that's the thing that empowers you to firmly believe that who you are now is going to be the thing that's going to take your business to the next level. I realized the work I did in my personal life has empowered me to be the most passionate about what I'm doing in my professional life. Like, I think this podcast is a perfect example of it. I am not responsible for your success. I won't help you. I'm not going to take your business over. I'm not going to tell you what specifically to do in your business. My goal is to simply show you how you can help yourself. Seeing you take action, seeing you get results, seeing you figure it out and build your own destiny.

Jasmine Star (00:08:54) - Man, I am telling you that truly lights me up. Question number two to ask yourself if you are being the version of who you are today and not the version that people want you to be, the same version of you were yesterday. Question number two is this the best use of my skill set and the best way I can serve? Chances are you're you've grown up, you're evolving, and you are different now than when you first started your business. And you've developed new skills that are so valuable. Are you serving based on those new skills, or are you holding yourself back because it makes you a or someone else feel safe? And let me just tell you, if you're trying to make yourself feel safe, or if you want to truncate your actions to make somebody else feel safe, I'm telling you, that serves no one truly. Question number 3 a.m. I enjoying the journey? When you allow yourself to evolve, it's much easier to enjoy the journey and find meaning from the work that you're doing every day.

Jasmine Star (00:09:52) - Even in those challenging moments, even in those moments of you're just like, man, this is hard. If you pull far back enough, can you say it's hard? But I am enjoying it. There's a quote by Mark Manson that says, happiness isn't the absence of problems. It's. Solving problems that brings happiness. Hey, I'm telling you right now, right? When we are solving problems, we're empowered to enjoy the journey. There is a lot of things that I could talk about or teach, but don't feel compelled or I don't get excited to talk about them. I know the biggest impact that I can make is this right here helping business owners solve their own problems, helping business owners persevere. When I know I'm doing that, even on the dark and hard days, I'm like, man, I'm enjoying this. I'm enjoying this because I'm sharing what I know and I see other people getting results by doing the work. Okay, the second strategy of really stepping into and becoming bigger and better in life and business is to set hard boundaries and say no a lot, okay, I am the queen of no.

Jasmine Star (00:11:05) - I am not royalty in any other which way? I don't claim a domain except for the land and no, I am the Empress of No land. In fact, I say yes so infrequently that people are truly shocked when it happens. Like, don't y'all like, what is he, Shonda Rhimes, the creator of Bridgerton. She has like a book called like The Year of Yes or just say yes or something like that. It's amazing. I loved it, I loved it, and I'm just like, man, she's all about. Yes. And I've learned that my yes is mean more because I say no a lot more often, because no keeps me free to choose more in real time. Like I want to make a decision as close to possible to the situation because I will be the most informed then no gives me optionality. I have more options when I say no, no, no, no, no. Because when the yeses start stacking up, I know I'm in the best case to make a decision that's best for me and my family and my purpose and my career.

Jasmine Star (00:12:03) - No means that when I say yes, I'm 1,000% in. If I say yes to you, please no, you're getting me at 101%, 1,000%, in fact. I was, um. I was in a therapy session recently, and I was having a conversation with my therapist who I really, truly respect. And we had discussed a situation, and she in response to something I said, she had said, you don't want to blank. And as she paused. Right. I listen, y'all, when I'm having conversations with people, I am often finishing their sentences. It's like the worst habit. It drives my husband crazy because like when we're having a conversation, if he's not talking fast enough, I'll finish the sentence for him. And even if I finish the sentence in a way that he knows that he would actually say it, he'll like, diverge and say, well, I wasn't exactly that. Like, listen, it's a skill set, y'all. And it drives most people crazy. So there I am in therapy.

Jasmine Star (00:13:02) - My therapist is like, you don't want to use your. And in my mind I use the word power. And when I heard her say, you don't want to use your power there. What she inadvertently said at the same time that I filled in the blank, she had said, you don't want to use your kindness there. No, I'm not going to get into the situation about what we were applying. But at the time that she had said your kindness, I actually responded. And I said, Dr. Lee, I don't think that this is an issue of kindness. This is an issue of power where I am putting my time and my energy and my mindset. I look at that as power, and when I say no, it's simply me saying I don't want to put my power there. I believe we are all powerful creatures, and I believe the more that we embrace our power, it is our obligation to protect that power as much as it is to use that power. So I am going to ask you, where are you putting your power? And if you say no, be okay saying no.

Jasmine Star (00:14:09) - If the former version of you would always say yes, it is okay. Now hear me when I say saying no, we'll keep you more focused. I decided earlier this year my mantra if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. I must be 1,000% in on my yeses because my nose becomes so much more powerful, and I'm going to be the first to say it's normal to experience guilt when you have to say no. I still feel an element of it. It's getting less and less over time. But when I say no, as an entrepreneur, it's hard. Now we have to have the conversation that as business owners we don't have a boss. So when somebody says something, it's not like I could be like, oh, well, my.

Jasmine Star (00:14:51) - Boss said no, I couldn't, or my mom said no or my partner said.

Jasmine Star (00:14:55) - No, no, the decision is yours and you have to own that. And sometimes it's very difficult. But the more you do difficult things, the more you have capacity can continue to do them.

Jasmine Star (00:15:05) - And here's the thing. We're wired, I believe, as humans, good humans, we're wired to be helpful and accommodating. But I want to reframe that feeling a tiny bit the minute that we can reframe no. Like instead of seeing no as a rejection, and we get to view it as a strategic decision that empowers you to protect your time and boundaries, then all of a sudden, you don't feel guilt. You feel a sense of pride. You are saying that I'm going to empower myself to protect my time for my friends, for my families, for things that I find very, very important. I am saying no to protect my boundaries. You shouldn't feel guilt for that. And when you do this, when you protect your boundaries and your time, you're able to, number one, show up bigger and better in other areas of your life. Number two, empower others to say no when something doesn't feel right or make sense for them. And number three, have more meaningful yeses. When I say yes, people know how dedicated, how in and how excited I am to be there or do that project.

Jasmine Star (00:16:09) - Now, you might have heard the saying no is a complete sentence, and that's valid, but when it comes to opportunities or collaborations, it's probably best to add a little bit more context to why you're declining. I have noticed that I feel less guilt or regret when I can actually put forward a complete explanation. So at least you know why I said no. So here are some tips to communicate. Know kindly. First, be honest and straightforward. In your response, Brené Brown said it best. Clarity is kindness. Just state it for what it is. Show gratitude for the opportunity or for like somebody considering you or giving an invitation. And you can even explain your current commitments or your boundaries. Okay, so if you're sitting here and being like, that sounds cool, but okay, here's an example. Using a speaker who has declined to do paid only events, but they got invited to speak at a free event. Here's an example. Thank you for the invitation to speak at your event. Unfortunately, I'm not accepting unpaid speaking opportunities right now.

Jasmine Star (00:17:16) - That's very clear. And you just explained why you said no. Second, consider suggesting alternatives whenever possible. This shows that you genuinely care about finding solutions that work for both parties. And here is how like, let's just kind of extend this example of taking paid into the events okay. So number one here we go. Start with the example. Thank you for the invitation to speak at your event. Unfortunately I'm not accepting unpaid speaking opportunities right now. However I'd be happy to chat about the possibility of payment, or I can recommend other speakers who might be a great fit for you. I just had virtually this exact conversation. I spoke at an event last year and the event owner reached out to me, texted me, and he said, can I loop you into a conversation with another event owner who wanted to speak at their event? And I was like, totally flattered and humbled. I said, yes, please got in contact. And he invited me to speak at their event. And then I had said, I just want to be clear and upfront at the outset.

Jasmine Star (00:18:23) - I am doing paid only speaking events at this time. So before we get our teams involved, may I ask if it's a paid event? If not, no worries, we can find other ways to collaborate in the future. It's been a pleasure meeting you. And he said, we just have speakers for exposure. And I said, I totally appreciate the kind invitation. It's not an alignment for me right now, but let me know when you're in town. I would love to meet up and get to know you better. That's what it was. Another real life example that happened just maybe a couple of months ago. I was invited to give a keynote, but it wasn't a paid event, or so they said. Like they said, we have another keynote speaker who's being paid, but that is the only person who's getting paid. The other speakers are doing for free. And I was like, hmm, well, it wasn't a fit for me. And I always believe that there is a budget if they really want you to be there.

Jasmine Star (00:19:19) - And so I declined. But it was really important for me because they reached out to me because they wanted diversification on their stage. And being a Latina and being female in a really male dominated industry, it's still important. If I am not on that stage. I do believe that there should be diverse representation of size, age, gender, color. I do, and if I really believe that, I have to believe that there are other people who are at different stages of their business who want to speak or give keynotes, and they might be in alignment with that event. So if I really believe in diversification, two stages, then I took it on myself to make personal introductions to black, brown and female speakers. I believe that just because an opportunity isn't a fit for me at the moment, it doesn't mean that it's not a perfect fit for somebody else at a different point in their career. Sure, I'm going to be real. I was really bummed they didn't pay me. It felt like, I'm not going to tell you what it feels like because feelings complicate things.

Jasmine Star (00:20:16) - Let's just use logic. Instead of using this as like a it made me feel X no, I don't care. You shouldn't care about how it made me feel. What are the facts and logics? They had money. They just weren't applying money towards me. Cool facts. Now if I peel back and say there are stages that should be filled with diversity, well, I want to give somebody else the opportunity to keynote on that stage. Well, they are representing underrepresented groups of people. The more we do that, I would hey, I count that as a win. Okay, so as a third point of as we're kind of like owning what we say as nose, is that reminding yourself that, no, that's not selfish. Like you could write it on a sticky note, whatever. It works. Because if you feel guilt, it can actually show in your response. And that can make the other party feel uncomfortable or unsure about the situation. When I say no to not taking on a paid speaking event, when I say no to going on a trip, when I say no to a new project.

Jasmine Star (00:21:16) - I am not saying I'm saying no because it's selfish. I'm saying no. It's not in alignment and I don't apologize for it not being in alignment. So how do you know if something is a yes or no? Right? Sometimes we feel like it could possibly be a gray area. Maybe if. Okay, here's my four part framework that I use when making a yes or no decision and time out. My sister recently she reached out to me. And she had said, Jasmine, you know, I listen to your podcast and you just come across as very black or white all the time, and that's not a lot of people who are listening. She's like, you know me, I listen and I'm not really a black or white person. I always grapple in the gray, and I want to say that I absolutely hear for all my gray folks, for all the people who grapple with the gray, I hear you in a deeply empathize. What I have also noticed, as I've grown as a person and as an entrepreneur, is that even though the world isn't black or white, the less versions of gray there are, the faster we are at making decisions, even if it doesn't feel like the right decision after we make it, at least we made the decision and that we can amend it.

Jasmine Star (00:22:22) - It's the gray that takes a lot of time. It's the gray that adds a lot of stress. It's the gray that makes us feel uncertain. So I'm sharing my four part framework because even though the world isn't black or white, I think that trying to lessen the amount of gray really empowers us. So step number one consider your purpose and values. If it is not going to move you forward in business and it doesn't resonate with your personal growth, say no. Step two assess your resources. Will it take time, energy, or money to commit to? Do you have those available? If so, is there something else you would rather spend these resources on that will make a bigger impact in your life or business? If the answer is no. Own it. If you don't have the time, say no. If you don't have the money, say no. If you don't have the energy, it is okay to say no and don't feel guilty about it. You are stronger in defending if it's an alignment.

Jasmine Star (00:23:26) - Step number three consider the potential impact or the return on investment. Think both like short term and long term. When I do this, it helps me accept or decline a commitment, even if it doesn't make sense for me in the short term. Like, oh man, going to this thing like I'm spending money. I'm not going to be making that money back real quick, but oh, I get to make long term relationships that over time would build. Then I might say yes, but I really have to assess and be open hearted and open sighted is what is the immediate win? What is the long term win? Is the impact worth the resources? How does it affect your goals? What are the potential consequences of your decision on your personal or your professional life? And like I'm speaking to people now, my daughter is three and a half years old when I am talking about these decisions, when I am talking about spending a weekend at her mastermind, when I am talking about going and taking an investor meeting on the East Coast, it's not just affecting the business, it's affecting the time that I have with my daughter and or at home.

Jasmine Star (00:24:28) - If it is not clear, in alignment with the goals that I have stated, both in short term and long term, then I say no. And step four, which is a heck of a lot more nebulous. But I've been learning over time to follow my intuition. The more I learn in a train, my intuition, the more I get to trust it. So step four is notice how it makes you feel. Do you feel excitement or dread? I'm telling you all, there have been times where I know that opportunity makes so much sense. Like I should want to do that. I should want to be there. And all I feel is I want to and I can't explain it. And there were times in my career where I'd be like, okay, I'm going to do this thing even though I dread it because it's the thing I should do. Heck no. Life is too short. Learn from my mistakes. If you are not lit up now, here's one of the thing like lit up at the result.

Jasmine Star (00:25:21) - Look lit up at the outcome. Like listen, we always want to be at the peak of the mountain, but we like are adverse to the climb. I get that I am not saying like don't do hard work, but I am just saying if the hard work and the peak are not in alignment to what it is that you want to do, say no. It is okay to trust your gut in the decision making process. I have noticed that well, like in the last four years, I've been doing small little micro tests with my intuition where I feel something and I'm like, oh, do I make a logical decision? Or there's just a knowing in my gut. I am telling y'all, I have been making bigger and bigger decisions based on logic and gut like an. Overall, I know this doesn't really make sense, but I'm going to make this decision and it plays out okay. So now that we've chatted about saying no, let's talk really quickly about setting boundaries before we move on to the next strategy to show up bigger.

Jasmine Star (00:26:16) - Here is a formula I like to use when we are setting boundaries. Communication plus clarity plus consistency equals a boundary. So when these three things are combined, that is when the boundary is established. And here's why. Communication ensures that your boundaries are known and understood. Clarity. And by this I mean you're clear in. Your assertiveness. You mean what you say and you say what you mean. That's what I talk about. Clarity. Clarity ensures that your boundaries are respected and taken seriously. And consistency reinforces the message that your boundaries are firm and they are not a suggestion. In that same therapy session with Dr. Lee, the one I just mentioned, she had said, what do you think your level of comfortability and the strength of you as an entrepreneur is currently? I was talking about a spectrum of like those completely bullish. When it all costs come, hell or high water will take you out of your kneecaps. That type of entrepreneur that's like a level ten and like a level one is somebody who constantly is overrun and taken advantage and doesn't stick up for themselves and has a hard time succeeding because they don't know how to advocate for themselves.

Jasmine Star (00:27:30) - And she says, where are you at currently? And I had said, I think I'm at a seven and a half. And she said, great, now where were you ten years ago? And you said at a two and a half. And she was like, so in that amount of time you have made this amount of strides, could you not say that you're working towards becoming a stronger entrepreneur over time? And I'd said yes. And I think about over time, what has happened is I have learned how to create my boundaries cleaner and faster. And that's why I'm going to be talking about this right now. How do you show up bigger professionally and personally, your boundaries? So the first strategy to showing up bigger in your life and in your business is being who you are now, not the version of who you once were. The second strategy is to set clear boundaries and say no. And the third strategy is to challenge the norm and embrace some independent thoughts. Okay, thought independence. This is not about expertise or like what you know.

Jasmine Star (00:28:34) - It's about stepping outside of your comfort zone and inspiring change around you. That's it. Like we don't we don't like I'll keep on running. Don't care. We don't. We don't need a PhD to somehow have thought independence. So let me put it this way. Does that ever seem like people online are always saying the same things and doing the same things and selling the same things in the same way? But then there are a select few that just boom. They stand out like they do things different and they catch your attention and you look and you're like, dang, look at you doing it differently. Those are probably like the vigilantes of independent thought. These are the people who make waves. They challenge the status quo, they inspire innovation, and all of a sudden they become the go to experts in their industries. Why they did it differently. So how do you become an independent thought leader? How do you stick out? How do you, in your own niche and in your own industry and in your own way, inspire your own dang thoughts? First is to form and communicate your own opinions.

Jasmine Star (00:29:36) - I will never forget a reel that Gary Vee posted back in 2020, and he was giving advice to someone named Jared, and he was saying he's so happy with what he has, but he knows he should be doing more. And Gary told him delivering pizza at 35 and being happy is way better than being 27 year old unhappy on Wall Street. And I was like, exactly that. Now I consider what he said, man, that's independent thought leadership. Why he's challenging conventional success in a society, especially in the business space, that associates success with career milestones and big salaries and prestigious titles like, oh, being.

Jasmine Star (00:30:19) - A VP on Wall.

Jasmine Star (00:30:19) - Street at a young age, he argues that true happiness is the ultimate success. So he is coming out and saying completely the opposite. That has been, you know, really touted on social media. And I thought to myself, wow, that's how he is always sticking out. He turns conventional wisdom on its head and backs up what he says. Second, integrate independent thinking as part of your brand.

Jasmine Star (00:30:43) - It can be part of you. This is the thing I love the most. Okay, so when I think about like independent thinking as part of your brand, Steve Jobs comes to mind. And I always look back at how he turned Apple into an independent thought leader in the tech space. And he did this by creating little, really groundbreaking projects and products and sharing his vision. And he set new industry standards and other brands. You know, they were laughing at him. They were doubting him. He actually got kicked out of his own company and the own leadership. And then they brought him back and they began to follow his lead. Independent thinking as part of who you are, being okay to make audacious claims and have big thoughts and say, just wait and see. And third, and this is the one that is the most powerful and yet so less often, hardly ever leveraged. Build a community. When you build a community, you are literally multiplying your impact and you're creating evangelism like this.

Jasmine Star (00:31:41) - Isn't you talking about how great your community is, this is your community members talking about how great the community is, and then they bring in more people on behalf of your business or have half of your brand. Now, I've mentioned Brené Brown, I love her, I seriously everything she says. I'm like, yes, say more, Brené, say more. She's known for researching vulnerability in shame, and she does a really great job at this. But one of the things that I saw from a business aspect is that she creates hubs. They're literally called hubs, like quote hubs, end quote. And they contain several resources for her books. And people actually get certified to teach her concepts. And her community has dozens, maybe hundreds of Facebook groups alone to discuss her books and her philosophies. And so somebody is telling one of their friends, you should come and join this hub. And by joining that hub, they become part of a community. And for people who want to go even deeper, they get certified in her teachings and trainings.

Jasmine Star (00:32:39) - And I think to myself, wow, incredible that her work, her purpose, her mission is being buttressed by other people and her business is growing as a byproduct. Heck yes. Okay, now we're going to dive into the fourth strategy of living a bigger, bolder life and growing a bigger, bolder business. And that's by being vulnerable and sharing the hard stuff. I know nobody wants to talk about this, right? But this is how you build trust. As I'm recording this, I'm actually planning on recording another podcast episode where I talk about the things that didn't go as planned. In fact, this week I'm creating an audio diary and I'm documenting my weekly plan. And then it revealed how many things went wrong, like.

Jasmine Star (00:33:22) - Nothing.

Jasmine Star (00:33:23) - Went as planned. And guess what? It's normal. It is more normal that things will not go as planned than planned. And I'm recording that episode for a few reasons, but mainly because I wanted to help people understand that you're not alone and they're not alone, and we're not alone in our business struggles.

Jasmine Star (00:33:44) - And I want to share how I handle setbacks. And I build trust by being honest and transparent with my audience. And that is why I am creating that podcast episode. This is why I am creating this podcast episode. I talk about things because I believe the minute we normalize these conversations, the conversations of being responsible or being versions of our old self when we really need to step in and be something else. I talk about the business struggles that I have faced and I am facing because I don't want to live in the dark. I don't want to do my business alone. And I know that there's a lot of people who are facing the bunch of challenges, and it thinks that they're alone, like they're the only people who struggle in this way, or other people have it easier, or for some reason they might be behind. No, no, no, everybody feels this way. This is totally normal. People connect with real stories and real struggles, and it's through these experiences that you can show it bigger.

Jasmine Star (00:34:46) - Okay, we covered a lot. I want to take a quick moment to like, check back in. We've gone over for strategies to show up bigger. And here they are. Number one being who you are now in, not what people think you should be, you can start this process by asking yourself three questions one. What in my business brings me the most purpose and what do I feel the most passionate about? Two. Is this the best use of my skill set in the best way I can serve? And three. Am I enjoying the journey? Next up, we talked about setting hard boundaries and saying no. Often when you do this, you're able to show up bigger and better in other areas of your life and business, and you empower others to say no when something doesn't feel right or make sense for them. And then you have more meaningful yeses. Now, just as a review, there's a framework in deciding if something should be a hard no for you. Remember that world of black and white? Yeah, we back there.

Jasmine Star (00:35:42) - Consider your purpose and values. Assess your resources, consider the potential impact in ROI, and notice how it makes you feel. Now we moved on to number three, and that was for us to challenge the norm and embrace independent thought by what? Forming and communicating our own opinions. Integrating thought leadership is part of our brand and building a community. And lastly, we just closed it out by the stuff. We don't want to talk about sharing the hard stuff. I want to encourage you to choose at least one of these strategies to show up bigger. I'm promising you you will see the biggest change in your life and in your business by saying no and knowing why, releasing yourself of guilt or shame or responsibility. Stepping into this new version of you. Having your hell yeses only be the thing you say yes to. And if it's a no, it's a hell no and being okay with that. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you have learned one thing, if you apply a new thing like always friends, I love hearing from you.

Jasmine Star (00:36:50) - I love reading the reviews. I am telling you they make an impact. They make a business. I love when you share these, when you guys tag where you are listening from or what you are doing. It empowers me to see and experience life through your eyes. Thank you for sharing these episodes. Thank you for doing the work and thank you for saying no more often your future self will thank you. Bye y'all.