Jasmine Star (00:00:14) - Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show, a place where you talk about life, business and everything on the in between. I am here in Miami, Florida, or as like my grandmother always says, Miami. Uh, we are here because I couldn't be more excited to bring to you another series of our co-hosted podcast. Today, I'm going to introduce for People Who Don't Know and reintroduce one of my favorite all time podcast guest, John Gottlieb. Thank you for returning to The Jasmine Star Show.

Jen Gottlieb (00:00:42) - I'm honored. I'm grateful. Favorite place to be?

Jasmine Star (00:00:45) - Ah, okay, so as a recap of what we've been doing with the show starting in 2023, every so often I bring in a kind, brilliant, hustling, amazing person who will then select a group of guests to come on. So my co-host is curating a handful of guest and last night, very typical of us, I'm texting you. It's probably like 1130. And I'm like, Jen, we're focusing on a theme. Now, here's the thing about Jen and I.

Jasmine Star (00:01:12) - We are co-creators. We're co dreamers. We're co collaborators. And so when I invited Jen we had conversations while she was in New York City. A few changes have happened since then. Can't wait to talk about that. But I said Jen who can we bring into our orbit our lives and who can we serve? Other entrepreneurs and big dreamers and other big collaborators. And so then last night, I texted her, and I'm like, we're going to be talking about a theme, the theme of this series with all of Jen's guests and Jen as my co-host. So Jen, what is our theme for this co-host series?

Jen Gottlieb (00:01:47) - You texted me this last night like right before I went to bed and I was like, I'm gonna put this phone down and I'm not going to think about the theme right now. I'm going to sleep on it and I'm gonna allow it to marinate. I'm just going to ask the university universe, can you please tell me what my theme is? When I wake up in the morning? And I woke up and I was thinking about all of these guests.

Jen Gottlieb (00:02:02) - And what is the underlying theme? Like, what are they all have in common? And that's hard to find because they're all very different. Yes.

Jasmine Star (00:02:07) - All amazing. Like, I mean, Jen, I mean, when you sent me your guest list, I was like, oh, we're doing the dang thing like Miami. Miami's probably shaking right now. Like, oh, I mean, all these people descending here in this city because of what you've done. So thank you for that. But let's go back to the theme.

Jen Gottlieb (00:02:22) - Yeah, they're very different. But they all started something before they felt ready to start. They all took imperfect, messy action when they were just getting started. And I've been hearing this theme a lot in questions I'm getting asked whenever I do, like my Instagram lives, where I'm like doing get ready with me and Q and A, how do I just start? How do I just begin? I don't know the plan. I'm not clear on what to do or what next step to take.

Jen Gottlieb (00:02:47) - And I always think back to the most successful people, or the most interesting people, or the people that have done the thing that they eventually want to do. I always find that they just start without knowing the plan. And all of these guests had a moment in time where they just had to say, you know what? I'm not quite sure how this is going to turn out. I don't even know. But I know that I need to just take action, and I need to be courageous enough and brave enough to just take a step and do something. And the guests or the listeners will hear as we go. You guys will hear that usually the story doesn't pan out how they initially thought it would, but usually it's so much better. Oh, and I find that when you take messy, imperfect action, it's always that way for me. When I connect the dots looking backwards in my story, I could have never in a million years would have told you a couple of years ago that I would be sitting here with you right now doing this, like, ever, ever.

Jen Gottlieb (00:03:39) - Like I would say, you're absolutely nuts. But when I look backwards, all of those little crazy action steps that I took along the way, like, oh, sure, I'm going to do that. I have no idea how it's going to pan out, but I'm just going to do it, even though I'm afraid, even though I'm unsure of what it's going to be, even though, like, I don't even know if this will, like be a step that will move me towards the goal that I think I have. All the dots connect in a way that always makes sense in the end, and these guests all have that in common.

Jasmine Star (00:04:07) - I love that. So we're talking about imperfect action starting before you're ready. Even if you feel the fear, the doubt, the resistance around those things, which is a very much a common theme that I have seen. You are an action taker. And so when we think about the first steps, I want to talk about our first interaction. I had mentioned it briefly in a previous podcast, but what I would like to do is add a little bit more color, because when we talk about starting before you're ready, we're actually looking at you in a new chapter, your life, your business, your home.

Jasmine Star (00:04:38) - And we're going to get to that in a second. But you and I met years ago when you and Chris your husband. But at the time, he was your boyfriend. Yeah. Uh, went to Los Angeles, and I received, I believe it was an email. It was an email. I received an email. You're like my husband and I. Oh, my boyfriend and I. Chris, uh, we're hosting a dinner in Los Angeles. It was at fig and Olive. It was in West Hollywood. Yes. And you said we're getting a group of people together. You didn't say who was on the guest list. And I just knew that I would be able to trust that you would put together the right group of people. So I drove. I didn't know anyone. You and I had maybe in. Sing, gotten to know each other. It was very light. It was very like at a distance. So I walk in to big and Olive, and there's a group of people in the back room, and you and Chris so perfectly curated the night.

Jasmine Star (00:05:25) - And it wasn't a lot of people, if my memory serves me correct, it was probably 25 or 30 people in LA at the time, and the flow of the dinner was so intentional. So if we can go back to my version of walking in the room and then your version of putting that room together, and the reason I'm asking this question is because as people are listening, they are in either a new city or the city that they've never left since their childhood. But what they know they want to do is create a new network, or an elevated network of people that will help them achieve their dreams. Big city, small town, it doesn't matter. And so when I talk and when I think about starting before you're ready, you embody that. But I want to use this particular story and then parlay that to where we are today. So you and Chris decide we're going to host dinners like go back to the why, the how how did you get started doing that? So somebody can listen, can say, wow, she wasn't that much different or far ahead than I was.

Jasmine Star (00:06:18) - But she took action. Yeah, I didn't know half.

Jen Gottlieb (00:06:20) - The people in that room. I did not know I was a fangirl of them. And just so you know, we knew each other lightly. We knew each other lightly. I felt like I knew you so well because I followed you. I've been following you forever. You're my friend in my head. Like I loved your content. When you walked into the room, I was like, Jasmine star. That's funny, cause when I walked into the room, I was like, Jen got lazy.

Jasmine Star (00:06:40) - You never.

Jen Gottlieb (00:06:40) - Know. Like, you never know what what other the other person thinking. And I was just fanning over you. And those dinners started. Actually, Chris used to do them before he met me, and he would do them on a much smaller scale, and he's known as the Super Connector, and he really got to where he is today. And we're going to interview him today by connecting people, by being the connector. And I would watch him and I would see this guy has built his network and his career, like, Chris is my husband, but he's my greatest mentor.

Jen Gottlieb (00:07:06) - By being a connector, by serving, by helping others, not by going around and figuring out what he can get, but more so how can I connect you to somebody else and make a relationship happen for you and create magic in a room? And I was like, there is something so powerful to this, but I'm an introvert at heart. I know it doesn't seem like that. I love being on stage, like that's my happy place, but in a room full of people, I never really want to go. I'm always happy I went, but I always and it's so funny. We'll talk about this later. But we did a dinner last night and pretty much everybody in the room was like, I didn't really want to go, I was nervous, I was scared because I don't like I'm kind of introverted. And the act of going to an event or a dinner where I don't know a lot of people makes me really nervous. But I'm so happy I'm here. So when we were doing these dinners together, Chris was like, we should really? Every city we go to gather people together and connect them and host these parties.

Jasmine Star (00:07:56) - No. Hold on. Um, this was a few years ago. Do you remember why you were in LA at the time?

Jen Gottlieb (00:08:00) - It's such a good question.

Jasmine Star (00:08:02) - It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I just for something. Okay.

Jen Gottlieb (00:08:06) - So what we would do is whenever we would, it was probably for an event or some kind of a mastermind or some kind of thing. And we would tag these dinners on wherever, whatever city we were going to. This was pre-COVID, and I had never I don't think I had ever done one before that with him. Maybe a smaller scale one. Oh, and so I was nervous talking about starting before you're ready, and we're putting together this wish list of people that some of them he knew, some of them I kind of knew, some of a lot of them I didn't know yet. And some of my friends that he didn't know yet. And we're like, all right, here we go. And something that Chris and I do is we're both like, quick starts on the Kobe scale.

Jen Gottlieb (00:08:37) - I don't know if you know or the the like. I'm a nine quick start and he's a ten. So when we get an idea yeah.

Jasmine Star (00:08:42) - So the Kobe scale it's it's like an assessment that you can take. And so we take them within our teams. And I'm sure you've taken them into your teams because you want to know if you're a quick start. That means that you will jump in and you'll figure it out before you go. And then and there's not a right or wrong or a better or worse, it's just the type of person that you are. And so if you can get a team of people with mixed skill sets. So my quick start is not as high as Jen's, like, I'm like more of like a seven. And so it takes me longer to get a quick start. But what I want to do is like the minute I get enough details, then I'm off to the races. So you and Chris are both quick start. So if you're listening and your quick start or not, it doesn't mean it's better or worse.

Jasmine Star (00:09:16) - You're just like, we decide it's a dinner. Let's go. Yep.

Jen Gottlieb (00:09:19) - Okay, so we decided we were doing it and we're like, let's figure it out. And like the dinner we did last night, which we did another one last night, it was like a week before we planned it, and we had all these people in a room. And that we do curate these dinners really specifically to make sure that connection happens. So it's not just a dinner where you put a bunch of people in a room and you're like, okay, everybody have fun and talk to each other, that's great. But when you have people and what I found is most people are a little bit nervous to walk into a room like that. So when you put people in a room that don't know each other, they're coming by themselves. Yes. We find that you want to do a little bit of curation, a little bit to make people feel comfortable and to incentivize connection, because what we found is you're always one connection away from getting the thing that you want, or maybe from something really cool, how.

Jasmine Star (00:09:59) - It pours your one connection away from getting what it is you want. Always. I want to hold space for that because we go back to the why? Like why is it so hard to get started? And then why is it so important to host these? And the answer through this whole conversation so far has been your one connection away from getting what it is you want. So if you are in Alabama, Wisconsin, New York, Miami, Seattle, Los Angeles, if you're anywhere, what things are people looking for? Because you're like, we're carefully curated. But I'm like, Jen, I want to get in your head. Yeah. What are like 1 or 2 considerations of getting the right people into the room? Yeah.

Jen Gottlieb (00:10:37) - So sometimes we will find somebody in that city that we know that's awesome. And we'll say to that person, hey, do you know anybody that's great that we should know. So good because we don't know everybody. Even like when we came here to Miami last night.

Jen Gottlieb (00:10:50) - We know a bunch of people here, but we didn't know everybody. So there's a few people that we really like, and we like their vibe. We like their energy. We know that they're going to bring amazingness to the room. We know that they must know cool people because like attracts like. So there's a few people who were like, hey, do you know anybody in Miami that you think I should know? Can you invite them to this dinner? We're hosting it. We're paying for everything, and we just want to invite great people. And so I had a couple people introduce me to people, and this happened in the LA one two. So there was people that I didn't even know that Chris didn't even know. So a really great tip for you guys. If you're hosting a dinner somewhere and you don't know, a lot of people, grab one person. So if I came out to where you live in California, I'd be like, hey Jasmine, we want to host a dinner.

Jen Gottlieb (00:11:28) - And I love Jasmine, and I know Jasmine's got a no. Cool people, can you invite 2 or 3 people? And so it's almost like you have a co-host. And that person then connects me to a couple of new people, and I can be connected to those people and then create connections in the room. So that's how you fill the room by partnering up with a few people, having them invite some folks, and then what we do is we always have place cards in place settings. Yes. And that's really important because it lets the guests know that we're super intentional about who we think that they should know. And it's another give. The whole thing is a gigantic give. And I learned this man really from from Chris, and I'm really excited about our interview with him because he did this experiment a while back when he was restarting his life and like, really restarting his business where he went and met with one person every single day and asked them what they needed help with and figured out how he could help them.

Jen Gottlieb (00:12:16) - And he found out through that process that the key to growing and getting everything that you want is by making connections. And the best way to make connections is to help people and to figure out how you can provide value. So we just wanted this dinner to be a massive gift. So for people to leave and be like, wow, like I feel so filled up. I met somebody amazing. I got an amazing opportunity. So we've got place cards and we intentionally put people next to each other that we think should know each other. So last night, I know we're talking about the LA dinner, but we did a dinner last night, you guys, just to catch you up. And we had three people that I found out we're all going to Joe Dispenza. They were all going to this event tomorrow. And I'm like, oh, well, we're sitting those three people right next to each other. And they were like, oh my gosh, I have a new friend at that event tomorrow. And they had the best time chatting.

Jen Gottlieb (00:13:00) - And a bunch of people made incredible business connections and personal connections. And the other thing that we do at these dinners, which is really important.

Jasmine Star (00:13:08) - I want to go back and I have to give like a breakdown, a breakdown of how to create connections because you're just one connection away from what it is you want. Yeah. Number one, set up the event like a give. You're not telling yourself this is networking for my business. This is growth. This is how can I give. And then if it's in your city or you're going to a new city, find at least one person who you think is cool that connect you to 2 or 3 other people. Yeah, exactly. And then thirdly, whoever that guest is is four people, 14 people or 44 people. You're being intentional about where you're placing people because you want to ensure that, number one, it shows that you care. And then number two, that you're going to create synergies of their life in their business. That's right. Fourth step okay.

Jen Gottlieb (00:13:52) - I want to add this one in before I add the last one in okay. Have photographer always.

Jasmine Star (00:13:57) - Yeah okay. Well girl you know I built my career as being a photographer. Yes and yes. Yes and yes. Well first of.

Jen Gottlieb (00:14:03) - All, we're always documenting to create content. So why are we we're not creating. We're documenting. So that is so much content. But here's where it's really important to have photographer. And I remember this moment with you in LA. I remember I remember it like it was yesterday because I remember looking at the photo. The best way to follow up is with value. The most important part about building a relationship is not necessarily the meeting, it's the follow up. It's how creatively you follow up. It's how you. Because a lot of people follow up wrong.

Jasmine Star (00:14:28) - So.

Jen Gottlieb (00:14:29) - They follow a bad like they just I get so many follow ups, it's like, well, can I pick your brain for coffee one day? Yes. When you follow up with somebody that you meet that you want to build a relationship with, please follow up with a give with remembering something specific about them, something that you maybe you were very interested in them and you were very curious during the conversation and you found out something about them, something that they needed, something that they were interested in, a restaurant that they like, the type of food that they like, that their kid was really interested in art, you know, and you can send a gift afterwards, or you can ask a question about that for us when we do these dinners, a really great way for us to follow up is to send a really beautiful photo of that person to themselves or to to them.

Jen Gottlieb (00:15:06) - So I remember after our LA dinner, looking at all the pictures from the night, from this professional photographer that was just snapping shots, like at a wedding. And I saw this picture of you and it was like you were glowing. It was the most gorgeous shot of you. I hope you still have it. I remember I'm going.

Jasmine Star (00:15:21) - To go to my I'm going to go back and go find it.

Jen Gottlieb (00:15:23) - It would be awesome to put in the B-roll. I know, I know, and I remember sending it to you and saying, this is the most beautiful photo of you. I hope you had a great time. And that's a great way to follow up because it's following up with a give. Somebody remembers it, then they post, then they tag, they talk about the dinner, they talk about you. It's a great way to connect and be social. So always hire a photographer.

Jasmine Star (00:15:43) - I love that, uh, last night when we were texting, I was like, Jen, I'm so jealous.

Jasmine Star (00:15:48) - I mean, obviously you were so kind. You invited me. Couldn't leave LA with the right amount of time to make the dinner. Um, and I asked, I'm like, oh my gosh. I'm like, I can't even imagine who was at dinner. And like, 30s later you send me a professional photo from the group. And I was like, of course, of course. Jen sent me a professional photo from a professional photographer within an hour of their dinner. Yes, so she did.

Jen Gottlieb (00:16:12) - That's another tip. I'm giving you guys all the good. Let's go make sure that when you hire your photographer, you say, can you airdrop me the photos immediately? That's right. We can't wait 24 hours for photos because you have to post them in real time. Yes. So I know that Chris is up there getting all the rest of them and editing them, like making them good and getting the post out there now. Yes, immediate. Because if it's two days later, if it's one day later, people forget.

Jen Gottlieb (00:16:32) - You have to like really go with the vibe.

Jasmine Star (00:16:33) - But can I tap there for a second? Yeah. I mean, this is from a photographer's perspective. Yeah. From a content producer's perspective. And then from a business strategist perspective is people are looking to share and or document what they're doing, especially if that thing is cool, exciting, worth talking about. Yeah. But if they end up creating their own content and they share it, they're disincentivise from sharing somebody else's content. Yes. Even if it's better, even if it's produced differently. So what our objective is when you're being strategic as I am, I am literally taking notes because I thought to myself, I'm going to host one of these dinners. So right now you've shared five tips and you go into the six. But I really want to hone in on the importance of making sure that the content is ready within. I know it sounds crazy, an hour of somebody leaving, because when you're the forerunner of creating that content, you incentivize them to share and repost your content and add tagging instead of them being the content creators and producers.

Jasmine Star (00:17:32) - So just to kind of like drive home that point a little bit more. So true.

Jen Gottlieb (00:17:35) - And I didn't even think of that. Yeah. Because all those people are like, oh, I have my photos that I'm going to share. But we got to beat them to it. So they share our photos. Absolutely. Exactly. No. Totally makes complete sense. So the last piece of the puzzle is and this is very specific how this is done. I cannot believe I'm giving you guys all these goods. This is like how to do this. When we get there and we arrive, we tell the waitstaff. So we always get a private room. So it's quiet. We have messed up with that before. And we've gotten a table at a restaurant and it's just too loud. And it's difficult to have these conversations that we want to have in a really loud room. So if you're doing this, I highly recommend that you grab a quiet, private room, a place where you can close the door and it can be quiet and not have a lot of loud music.

Jen Gottlieb (00:18:12) - And then we talk to the waitstaff and we say, listen, we're going to have everybody sit down and place their order. And once the order is placed, we're going to do this exercise. And please, nobody served. The only reason I know this is because we've made the mistake before, and it's not good when somebody's standing up talking and they're serving food. So we say, please don't serve any food until everybody's done with this exercise. Then you can serve the first course. I love the size.

Jasmine Star (00:18:33) - Oh my God, this exercise.

Jen Gottlieb (00:18:34) - So everybody stands up. So we and we tell everybody what to do. So I stand up first and I'm like all right this is what we're going to do. We want everybody to be able to connect really deeply here. And we have found that the more vulnerable you are in how you show up in the world, the more deeply you connect. Yes. So we're not going to have everybody just stand up and say great things about themselves like, that's wonderful, you can do that.

Jen Gottlieb (00:18:54) - But I want everybody here to take a second stand up, say who you are, what you do, and then one thing you need help with right now.

Jasmine Star (00:19:02) - Who you are, what you do, and one thing you need help with. Because oftentimes you and I have sat in way too many rooms at way too many conferences where people say who they are, what they do, and then what makes them important, what makes them cool, what makes them matter in the world, the thing that it is they're selling. But what happens is it becomes a broadcast instead of a place of receipt. And this was the first time in my entire life, in career where I stood in, in front of a group of strangers and I asked for what I needed, and I admitted I need help. And everybody at that table said who they were, what they did. And then they said, I need help. Yeah, it's such a beautiful way to break down walls.

Jen Gottlieb (00:19:39) - It really is. And then the entire dinner, everyone's got a topic because everyone trying to figure out how to help each other.

Jen Gottlieb (00:19:43) - Yes. So then somebody from the end of the table goes to the other end, like I have help for you. Yes. And they wouldn't have maybe talked to that person and like, oh my gosh, I know this person that you need to know. And it's going to help you get what you need to get. Yes. It's magical. And here's another really cool thing that happens when you do that. I've seen some of the most successful people that I've met in my life stand up and say, for the first time ever, I finally really want to meet the love of my life, or I just need friends or get really vulnerable. And it makes everybody else feel less alone in their shit. It's like, oh, that person that has a million followers says they need friends. Yeah. I feel less alone and it really creates connection. I had a couple people last night that came up to me. They're like, I've never experienced being able to be that vulnerable in front of a group.

Jen Gottlieb (00:20:30) - And when you create that safety in a space, it creates deep connection and it's really awesome. And then the other thing, you just have to make sure that people say what really what they need, because sometimes people will make up. Like I say this now I'm like, don't say like I need to find a parking spot for my Ferrari kind of a thing. You know what I mean? Like, don't say that. Don't, like, do a little brag with, like, a pretend ass. Really? What's going on? One girl last night said, I really want to learn how to play guitar. I need a guitar teacher. You know, one guy stand up, stood up, and he's like, I'm ready to find my wife. She's like this. And he described her as if anybody knows. And we had business asks, but we mostly it's always a lot of the times it's personal asks. I have to tell, though.

Jasmine Star (00:21:13) - As an introvert, going to your event, I went by myself.

Jasmine Star (00:21:16) - I didn't know anybody in the room and everything that you just described the hand selection, the placing of the placement card, your distinct follow up after. But one of the things that I thought was really cool is I actually, I know people wouldn't believe this about you or I, but I have a hard time getting into conversations. I can't help but feel just like really like I exude awkwardness. So I find myself being super quiet. And so what happened was when somebody asked for something, it gave me a very clear way to introduce and interject myself into a place of service, of somebody else. And so as we were going around the table, I was making notes, make an intro to this person, make an intro to this person, so that after dinner I would go up to these people. I'm like, I'm going to follow up with you because the thing that you asked for, and it gave me a very clear way to offer value without expectation. And so I just kind of wanted to explain that from my perspective as being there with you, how you open the doors for that.

Jasmine Star (00:22:08) - And I think that's what this conversation and these series of podcasts, it's taking a step before you're ready. And we met by way of a dinner in Los Angeles. And then last night you and Chris hosted an event in Miami. Now you and Chris just moved from New York City. Like, just just how long ago?

Jen Gottlieb (00:22:28) - I think it was like, three and a half weeks ago.

Jasmine Star (00:22:29) - Okay, so the girl is not even a Florida resident for, like, more than a month. And what is the first thing they do? They create a way to give. They create a way to build a local network using all of the exact same.

Jen Gottlieb (00:22:44) - Steps.

Jasmine Star (00:22:45) - That you have shared so generously with us. And as these guests are walking into the studio doors today, it is on the back of you doing that type of connecting, giving value, not wanting anything in return. So I want to say thank you for being here. I want to say thank you for giving us. I believe it was a six part framework.

Jasmine Star (00:23:05) - It was for how to build a network in your own city and how to build a network in a totally different city. And now people have a clear plan of action. And then what people are going to see in here is that on the back of you doing all of this hard work, you have curated guests who are flying in from New York, California, Arizona, I mean, all over the United States. They're flying to Miami for this show because of the connections that you created. And so I want to show people like, this is years in the making and your business is thriving, growing. And here you are in a brand new city making a brand new network by giving to others. And so thank you for that. Thank you for being here. And for those of you who are listening to the show, prepare your heart. So this is just a little ambush. This is just a taster.

Jen Gottlieb (00:23:50) - This is just a long day. Just create.

Jasmine Star (00:23:52) - We're just this is just us setting the groundwork.

Jasmine Star (00:23:55) - I wanted people to see and know your heart as a human and who you are. As my guest co-host, thank you for co-hosting The Jasmine Star Show. I can't wait for us to have a recap at the end of the day and talk about how we are taking our first steps, even if we are afraid, scared, and a little bit somewhat overwhelmed. Jen, how can people follow up with you and start talking about their feedback, what they're going to start doing, how they're going to start taking that first scary step, and how they're going to start building networks in their own city and others.

Jen Gottlieb (00:24:22) - First of all, thank you. I'm like getting teary eyed. I'm going to cry. This is this is the greatest start to my day ever. Um, everyone can follow me on Instagram. That's the easiest place. All the things you can find on there at Jen underscore Gottlieb and share this a million times over. But one thing that I do want to reflect for you is it was not difficult for me to get people to fly here to do this podcast, because all I had to say was, I'm co-hosting a podcast with Jasmine Star, and they were like, um, what I what you're asking me? So I want to make sure that, you know, that you were like my like, I don't know, my bait.

Jen Gottlieb (00:24:59) - I was like, come in and you get to meet Jasmine Star.

Jasmine Star (00:25:02) - So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you I appreciate you. So Jen underscore Gottlieb on Instagram. Be sure to share this and the journey in these amazing guest who she has curated. For us. If you have ever reached out to Jen, you will know how personal she is in every capacity. And thank you for listening to The Jasmine Star Show. If you've liked this, share it! Tag Jen and leave a review. I can't wait for you to meet the rest of our guest. But it.