Jasmine Star (00:00:15) - Are you familiar with the term getting back on the horse? You know, oftentimes growing up, I'm a city girl. So when I thought about the idea of getting back on a horse, I just assumed, I don't know. A cowboy got off, went to like, the Mail Depot and the sundry store, and perhaps bought a couple of horse shoes and then got back on his horse. And it wasn't until I became an adult that I understood. Getting back on the horse has an entirely different meaning, because in order to get back on the horse, you have to be a little bit afraid. You have to be a little bit hurt, because most likely you got bucked off the horse, that wild, crazy, unpredictable horse, and then you had to choose to get back up and try again. An entirely different meaning. Y'all, welcome to the Jasmine Star Show. This is where we talk about getting back on the horse business, mindset, marketing, and everything you need to go to grow.

Jasmine Star (00:01:10) - Okay? Everything you need to go to grow. Yeah. Just said that and I'm just running with it okay. So I have had and started many a things that didn't turn out how I anticipated. Maybe you experience the same. Maybe you started a podcast or a YouTube channel. Maybe you said I'm going to do this new strategy, a blog. Maybe you started 107 businesses, but the results were slow or life happened and it took the backburner until eventually it just kind of sort of fizzled out and then stopped. We have all been there. Whenever I think about getting back on the horse, I was at a weird transition in my life. I really loved photography, and I loved the art of helping other businesses, and I loved creating exposure for businesses. And so I was wondering, what could I do that would incite something new and creative and perhaps be a vehicle to do something different in my life? And so I had this idea, and the idea was, could I create video stories, narratives of companies that I really liked and wanted to give exposure or highlight? So it sounds like an okay idea, but I didn't actually think things through all the way.

Jasmine Star (00:02:27) - I just did the stuff that really lit me up to begin with. So I started sketching out ideas. How might the story look? What companies could I highlight? Let me check out the right videographer to capture like this type of vision. And so about two months later, after mapping out what I wanted, I asked for a connection to a woman to the by the name of Caitlin, and she was a CEO of the Giving Keys. Now, if you're not familiar with the Giving Keys, it's a really cool story. So the Giving Keys started when Caitlin came across a homeless couple and decided to befriend them and help them, and she started asking herself, could she do something to help the homeless population in Los Angeles? How do you get people off the street? And so what she started doing was collecting old keys. Yes, like keys, like physical home keys. And then she started stenciling. Imprinting by hand, inspiring words, things like hope, courage, excitement, resilience. And she would take them to local street fairs and sell the keys and the proceeds she would use to help this family get out of homelessness.

Jasmine Star (00:03:37) - And next thing you know, one thing led to another. She started getting featured in major fashion magazines and outlets and blogs, and her business started exploding. So much so that she created a small factory in Los Angeles employing homeless people and as well as other people who were transitioning and really created an amazing story. And I thought to myself, I want to highlight that business and I want to highlight that founder, okay, so invested in the videographer, I flew him out. I think I flew him from Chicago, if my memory serves me correct. And he was out here in L.A., got him a hotel, and I sat and I did an interview with him, and then we went to the studio. We shot all day. We interviewed Caitlin, and we went through and got B-roll around Los Angeles. Like, how do you actually articulate the story of homelessness? And so we were just driving through the streets getting what you call B-roll. And I was really excited for this project. And then the first edit came back a couple months later and I thought to myself, oh, this, this is lacking something, and I didn't know what.

Jasmine Star (00:04:48) - And so then I went back and I kept watching the video and I'm like, okay, well, what's missing here? So when I look back at this experience, it's kind of like I just jumped feet in into making a tiny little microfilm without any film experience whatsoever. I just have always thought that, hey, I'm a storyteller. I can tell a story. Yeah, except for the fact that telling it visually, visually, visually is not easy, so I. I flew the videographer back out from Chicago, did another interview so that I can help connect the dots. And then I went back to the studio to record B-roll from Caitlin. And I was so embarrassed because I had to actually tell her, you know what? That first time around, we didn't get everything that we needed, but this time we had a shot list to fill in the gaps. So we got him a hotel. We got the videographer, a hotel again. We met, we interviewed, we did the same thing all over again.

Jasmine Star (00:05:41) - And then he came back with the edit. And it was okay. It was okay. When I look back at that project, if I was being nice to myself, I would be like, it's okay. So I put it out. It's actually still on my YouTube channel. It's called The Giving Case and the response was lovely. It was lovely, except for the fact that nobody knew what to do with it. Like, in fact, I remember sitting with my good friend promised handyman we were at our house and I was like, okay, we just uploaded the video to YouTube and we're going to debut it here. Let's watch it. So promise JD and promise husbands Ryan. We're sitting there and we're watching it and they're like, wow, that was amazing. What are you going to do with it? And the answer was I didn't know. All I knew was I wanted to create. I wanted to tell a story. I wanted to visually show a really cool business and highlight a founder and see if this video could do any sort of, like, marketing or expansion for what she was doing.

Jasmine Star (00:06:40) - But what was my monetization model like? I had just paid for all of this to get done. But was it a business? Was it a hobby? Was it a passion project? And for the life of me, I had a list of businesses that I really wanted to highlight and do the same thing for, and I just couldn't do it. It just wasn't in me anymore, which I look back and I'm like, what a shame. Perhaps if I had tried again and again and again, I would have gotten better. Or perhaps I just saw it for what it was a really short ladder, something that is really great. It cost a lot of money and the intention is good, but without monetization I wouldn't be able to make a lot of them. In fact, I would probably waste a lot of money of my own money trying to create something without a very clear vision. And at the end of the day, I know that there's a lot of successful people who have quit something that they wish they hadn't.

Jasmine Star (00:07:35) - You know, at one point or another, it's very common. But we don't talk about it very often. And so I think even one of the most legendary athletes of all time, Michael Jordan, y'all know I'm a West Coast brown girl. I am repping Kobe Bryant through and through forever in a day. That's Kobe R.I.P.. I want to talk, though, about Michael Jordan for a minute, because Michael Jordan was a major influence and somebody who created impact in Kobe's life and career. In the summer of 1983, Michael Jordan, the basketball legend of the Chicago Bulls, he stunned the world with an announcement that he was leading his team that after leading his team to three consecutive NBA championships, he made the decision to quit basketball and play baseball. Do y'all remember any of this? I was really young, but I remember my dad, who loved sports, watching this with his mouth dropped open. What? This is an athlete at the top of his career, one of the highest paid athletes of the time, the most successful.

Jasmine Star (00:08:39) - And he's gonna play baseball. Almost two years later, in the spring of 1985, Jordan returned to the NBA. Flexing that iconic number 23. You know on his jersey he came back. But here's the kicker. Following his return, he led his team to three more NBA championships. But here's the kicker. Following his return, he led his team to three more NBA championships, solidifying his status as one of the greatest athletes of all time. So one of the greatest athletes of all time in basketball decides to quit. Play baseball. Doesn't work out the way that he expected. He comes back to basketball. So just think about this. Millions of people are watching his quote unquote downfall in baseball, and then they're just waiting on bated breath. After not playing basketball all that time. How will he come back in the court? How will he get back up on the horse? Now, Jordan's comeback just wasn't a return to the court. It was a testament that against the odds, we humans can achieve greatness with a condition.

Jasmine Star (00:09:49) - But we have to choose and develop resilience. The ability to get back up. And resilience isn't just about, oh, I'm never going to quit. No. It's about finding the strength to get back up after you do, after you decide to stop, after you decide to quit, after you decide, hey, this wasn't for me, and then you decide to do it again. So if you have anything, one thing to take away from this episode, I want you to take this. If you quit or you took a break from something, all you have to do is start again. You don't need to explain. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to restart. But I mean, here I am talking. And I know it's easier said than done. And sometimes it helps to have a plan in place. So that's why I am recording this episode for you. I'm going to be sharing my five part restart framework, which I created not just to help you restart, but to stay on track and plan for challenges.

Jasmine Star (00:10:46) - Now I'm going to name the first five before diving into each one so that you can follow along. And step one is to remove feelings of shame and self-doubt. Step two is to identify the lessons learned. Step three is to create your restart plan. Step four is to take action and keep going in step five. Well, no, you're going to have to wait and see what the last and final glorious step is. Hey, how's that for a cliffhanger? Okay, so let's start with step number one remove feelings of shame and self-judgment. I want to prioritize this step because of a concept known as emotional readiness. This means being mentally and emotionally prepared to grow from your past experiences, feelings of shame, and self-judgment. Those can absolutely cloud your ability to reflect on what happened. So we have to remove those feelings first. Okay, so what does this really mean? Your feelings can slow. Your feelings can stop your success. Not facts, not talent, not potential, not great feelings. When you feel embarrassed about the past, your mind literally stops you from showing up to fully avoid the potential of shame and self-judgment and embarrassment again.

Jasmine Star (00:12:01) - But feelings are fleeting. Feelings change. Just because I'm feeling like people are looking at my second attempt. It doesn't make it true. Just because I feel shame about the past doesn't mean that other people are, in fact, shaming me. So why am I saying this? Because I'm begging you not to index your life based on feelings, and assume that just because you feel it, it makes it true. In fact, more often than not, our feelings are misguided. Instead of letting our emotions push us around, what if we removed them right at the beginning of our restart? Okay, so how do we remove shame and self-judgment? Well, here are three things you can do. First, reclaim your identity. Know that everyone quits something at one point or another. Does that make them all quitters? No. Quitting doesn't define you. It doesn't find your worth and doesn't define your potential. So I want you to disassociate yourself from quitting. And don't let yourself identify as a quitter, because you're simply not one.

Jasmine Star (00:13:04) - If you're restarting, I want to invite you to identify yourself as a Re starter. That is way more true about your current decision. So carefully reclaim your identity. You're not a quitter. You're a re starter, okay? And you know, here's a little bonus tip. If you're just like, I'm not sure I buy this. No problem. Can you make a list of accomplishments? Like, you know, or maybe make a list of something that you've started and finished, or if it's something you told yourself you would do and then did it, write it down. I mean, it could be as simple as like, oh, I made the commitment to organize my pantry. Great. You started it and you finished it. I made the commitment to meet my mom once a month for lunch. Great. You did it. You started it and you continued with it. So put all that out there. Because what I want you to do is start proving to yourself that you can trust yourself.

Jasmine Star (00:13:57) - When you follow through with what you said you would do in the past, it's proof that you can do it again in the future. Secondly, I want you to reframe the narrative instead of viewing quitting as a failure. See it as a learning experience or a stepping stone. Because, you know, we all know success isn't linear. Maybe there was a lesson you needed to learn. I want you to look back and frame the thing that you call a failure and say, what did I learn from that? What was this lesson? And the third way I recommend for you to remove shame is to talk about what happened. Brené Brown, renowned shame expert. You know, you know I love me some Brené Brown. She says that shame needs three things to grow in our lives secrets, silence, and judgment. So being open and talking about what happened or why you quit will actually help remove the shame and get started again. So after you finished step one, removing shame and judgment, you're ready to move on to step two, which is to identify the lessons learned.

Jasmine Star (00:14:53) - Michael Jordan said, quote, I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games 26 times. I have been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. Oh. End quote. Michael Jordan is Michael Jordan because he learned lessons from his failures. One of the best ways to identify lessons, in my opinion, is to reflect while journaling. And I know it might sound cliche, but I don't care. I journal every single day, every day. But I can say this with confidence because I journal just for 5 to 10 minutes. Like it is not anything fancy. It is not anything extensive. It's a practice I use to develop mental strength, but quite literally writing down my pressure point, my pitfall, my quitting, and then in real time, changing the narrative. Man, it's a game changer. I'm forcing myself to see what good can come from the decision, or the amazing lessons I've learned, or how I'm better because of what happened.

Jasmine Star (00:15:59) - You know, journaling is simple, but it's not easy. So I'm going to share with you some prompts that I would use if I were trying to dissect the lessons learned from quitting something. Okay, here we go. Just three questions. Just three questions that will serve as a great way to journal for 5 or 10 minutes. Number one, what were the circumstances that led to my decision to quit? Number two, what were the consequences of my decision, both positive and negative. What have I learned from this experience and how is it shaped me? After writing the answers to these prompts. Take some time to reflect on your responses. Notice any patterns or emotions that led to quitting. Notice what made you feel overwhelmed? What led you to being burnt out? Maybe it's an improper allocation of resources. Anything. Just list this stuff and when you're done for each pattern or motion, ask yourself, how can I prevent this from derailing me again in the future? Write these down. Okay, so what you're doing is you're journaling.

Jasmine Star (00:16:59) - You're seeing what not to do. You're seeing how to prevent it in the future. And now you have a nice little framework. Okay, I'm gonna move on to step three. And that is to create your restart plan. This should consist of five things your objectives, your timeline, your rituals and routines, your contingency plan, your rewards and your support system. So step three has sub points. If you're following along and taking notes. Now this is going to help you prioritize your tasks, your deadlines and stay accountable to your commitment. So let's break down each of these using an example. Let's say you started a podcast and you quit and now you want to restart your podcast. Cool. First I want you to define your objectives. You're going to want to lean into why you are creating. What could restarting make it possible for you in your business? Like why are you doing it? Get very clear on what you hope to accomplish by restarting right when you have your podcast. What is your goal? Is it to increase sales? Enhance customer experience? Growing your brand awareness? When you know why, it helps you stick to your plan.

Jasmine Star (00:18:06) - Okay, so if, for example, you're restarting your podcast, your goal might be to reestablish your presence in the podcasting space. Oh, maybe it's to attract a larger audience or to have a self-made resource to send to your audience members who ask you questions. Then it's time to move on to your timeline. You'll need to develop a schedule that outlines the steps you're going to need to take to relaunch your project. An important step here is to set deadlines for each task. I want you to deconstruct the bigger projects into smaller, trackable steps that will keep you on track. That will remove overwhelm, yes, and build your confidence to find you in a forward momentum for restarting a podcast. You know, this is the example we're going to use. This could look like reverse engineering a plan from your relaunch date. So if you want to relaunch the show by June 30th, you're going to want to create content by, you know, have a plan ready by the 1st of May, and then you're going to want to record episodes by May 7th, and then you're going to want to get the episodes edited by May 14th.

Jasmine Star (00:19:04) - So you're going to be setting a timeline. Setting these achievable, smaller deadlines will keep you accountable for taking action and help you stay on track for achieving your goals. After you have your objectives and your timeline, you can move on to creating your rituals and routines. I know I sound so Woowoo mean you're like, girl, you live in California. I know I cannot stress this enough. The less the brain needs to think about doing something, the less likely it's going to try to talk you out of doing it. When you establish daily or weekly rituals that support your restarting efforts, you'll begin to enjoy and look forward to the process, and your motivation won't be dependent on the outcome. This is super important, okay? For example, when restarting a podcast, you might designate Monday mornings for brainstorming and planning upcoming episode topics. The ritual could be sitting outside, drinking your coffee and listening to the birds chirp. Creating this ritual around the task is going to help you build the habit and stay consistent.

Jasmine Star (00:20:05) - Okay, let's move on to creating your contingency plan. Your contingency plan is kind of like a fallback strategy for dealing with challenges. I mean, listen, I'm going to pause right here. Challenges are going to come. In fact, the worst types of challenges are the ones you never saw coming. Right? We can plan for some and then some like hit you upside your head. And then you have to say, okay, what strategy do I have in place to keep me moving forward? In step number two, you thought about the things that can go wrong and how you'd handle them. Now turn those ideas into clear steps. First, list the problems you might face. Then come up with specific actions to solve or lessen the impact of each problem. When you do this, prioritize the most serious issues first and make sure you have a solid solution for them. And then you're going to update your plan as you regularly progress. Okay, so let's go back to our example for our podcast. Something that could derail you from podcasting could have been scheduled.

Jasmine Star (00:21:05) - Guests canceling last minute okay. A contingency plan could include having a list of backup guest or pre-recorded episodes to fill in the gaps to help you remain consistent. Okay, moving on to the fun part. This is we're going to talk about your reward. Our brains love rewards. Well, let me clarify that our brains love satisfaction. So lean into this. Create a way to celebrate each accomplishment and task completed. Now, doing this is going to complement the work that you're doing to release the shame. When you're saying look it. I'm stacking proof that I'm following through even when things get hard. So each time you celebrate a win, your doubt will get that much smaller. Now I know it sounds so crazy. You're like, oh, I'm just going to celebrate myself every day. Well, no. I like to celebrate when milestones get completed. Stuff that I know is really moving the needle, and then I look forward to that. So a little tip here would be to celebrate monetary wins with monetary rewards and non-monetary wins with non-monetary rewards.

Jasmine Star (00:22:11) - Okay, like I like to spend the day or the afternoon at the beach or spending time with your favorite hobby. This way you can stay aligned with your financial goals while still acknowledging and celebrating your progress. On a personal note, a reward myself with reading. So I read, um, maybe like 2 or 3 chapters every night before I go to bed. But if I do something and I accomplish like a big project, I'm going to tell myself I get to read later in the afternoon in addition to reading before I go to bed. That's my reward. Why I love reading. It just releases. My brain and it helps me relax. I love good fiction. Fiction allows me to escape into a different world and then re-enter my own. I know I'm just telling you, this lets me up. Let's go back to our example for podcasting. Let's say you just released your first episode after restarting your podcast. Um, treat yourself. Let's go. You did it. So, um, you know, pick something you enjoy.

Jasmine Star (00:23:09) - Maybe you take the next day off to take care of yourself. Exercise, meditate. By doing something you really love, you're rewarding yourself. Number one, you're going to fuel up on new content ideas. Number two, you're filling your cup. And number three, you're rewarding yourself for staying committed. And what you're actually telling your brain is, I'm going to create this space to reflect on the thing I did and build further proof. Okay, the last part of your restart plan is solidifying your support system. After you listen to this podcast, I really want you to do two things. I want you to send it to a friend who also quit something and wishes they hadn't. I don't care if it's jujitsu. Let's help them get their black belt, you know what I'm saying? I want the two of you to hold each other accountable. And then you could send them a message like, hey, I want to restart and then tell them what it is you want to restart. Even if you want to restart jujitsu, you want to restart your baking business.

Jasmine Star (00:24:11) - You want to restart your YouTube channel. Okay, I want to restart blink. And I know you mentioned that you wanted to restart. Tell them what they wanted to restart. What do you want to hold each other accountable? Listen to this podcast and let me know after, uh, in fact, let's just up the ante for an extra layer of accountability. Tag me in your stories. When you're listening to this, I can reshare them. What I want to do is to normalize the idea that as business owners, as people with passion, we will start and we will restart. And we will perhaps quit. And if it wasn't in alignment, no problem. But if you feel calling to go back, you're not a quitter. You're a starter. So now that you have your restart plan in hand, it's time to move on to step number four of the restart framework. Ooh. Taking action and staying committed. I don't want you to overthink this. And you have laid out everything you possibly need to take action.

Jasmine Star (00:25:07) - Now it's time to implement your restart plan and to choose every single day to keep going. That's it. This entire point right here is you have to make the choice every single day to keep going. And the fifth and final step of the framework is to track and evaluate your progress. Once you've taken action and you've implemented your restart plan, it's important to look back and evaluate your efforts. I want you to monitor how well you are to sticking to your timeline and meeting deadlines, not to, you know, boost your ego or lessen your ego, but simply to start learning the proper time assessment. Sometimes when I would first start in a restart process, I would say, okay, this task should take me about 30 minutes. And then the more I did that test, I realized, oh goodness, it's taking me 45. So then in the future when I try to do that again, I'm giving a proper time estimate so I can manage expectations. I want you to reflect on what's working well, what could be improved, and then I use this and make adjustments to your plan as needed.

Jasmine Star (00:26:10) - This is going to help you stay the course and continue moving forward with your goals. Okay. So let's have a quick review. Your five part restart framework. Step one is to remove feelings of shame and self-judgment. Step two is identify the lessons learned. Step three is to create your restart plan. Now remember it consisted of those five sub points your objectives, your timelines, your rituals and routines. Your contingency plan, your rewards in your support system. Step four is to take action and keep going. Step five is to track and evaluate your progress. And remember, if Michael Jordan can quit basketball, start back up again, and then win three consecutive championships. Y'all, you can restart the thing you quit on and make it your own comeback. It's like L.L. cool J. Don't call it a comeback, I never left. Let's go. This podcast is a labor of love, and I appreciate you taking the time to listen, to review, to share it, to posted on stories. But most of all, the greatest gift that you could ever do for the time that I'm investing in this podcast is to take action on what you're learning.

Jasmine Star (00:27:17) - My goal is that every podcast episode inspires you to do one thing, and the more you listen to the podcast and you do one thing and one thing and one thing and one thing, by the end of the year you have done something. So please don't forget to send this to a friend who is also wanting to restart something or get that fire in their pants again, because your support system is such a critical component to your restart plan. And if you don't have anybody, I'm going to be that somebody. So shoot me a DM at Jasmine's door. I want to root you on in your journey. Thank you for listening to The Jasmine Star Show.