Jasmine Star 00:00:00  Early on, success might be about external things like money, status or recognition. But as they develop and as they advance, they find out like what really matters is internal things like purpose, impact, and personal satisfaction. This is why it's important to regularly reassess what success means to you. Welcome back to The Jasmine Star Show, a place where we talk about business mindset and today, growth. More specifically, the new realities you'll face when you reach a new level of growth. Now, before we get too far into the show, there's something that you need to know. The team and I are celebrating the 500th episode of The Jasmine Star Show and our fifth podcast anniversary. Yeah, 500 episodes in five years. So this week, Monday through Friday, we're hosting a five day growth challenge. Now we will have short. These are gonna be less than 12 minute episodes that are going to provide you with strategies for overcoming challenges and achieving your goals, and unlocking your full potential if you aren't excited, I don't know what make you excited.

Jasmine Star 00:01:04  We get to connect, y'all. We get to connect. And if you leave a review during the next five days, you're going to be entered to win $500. So to prepare for the week ahead, I wanted to give you my very honest insights into what I've experienced as I've grown and evolved personally and professionally over the past decade and a half. So in this episode, we're going to cover the five new realities you will experience when you reach a new level of growth. But first, I would love to read some beautiful words from a friend who listens to the show, Krista Sulak rated five stars and said, I'm enjoying the Jasmine Star podcast so much that I've been bingeing on all the episodes. I enjoy her honesty, curiosity, and focus action on takeaways. Thank you for helping me on my entrepreneurial journey, Krista. Thank you y'all. The reviews mean so much to me and the team, and I am proud of you for taking the time to learn and grow your business into all the future reviews.

Jasmine Star 00:01:58  I can't wait to read them too. So let's dive in to the five realities you'll face when you reach a new level of personal and professional growth, starting with reality. Number one outgrowing relationships and experiencing a deeper need for solitude. As you grow, you're going to find that some relationships just don't fit the way that they used to. Both personally and professionally. And that's okay. But I will say one of the biggest challenges is letting go of relationships that no longer serve your growth. It's not easy, but it's necessary. So how do you know if a relationship is no longer serving you? I would ask myself these five questions, and if three or more of the answers are yes, then it's a really great sign that it's time to move on. Question number one does this relationship leave me feeling more drained often than more energized, drained, or energized? Question number two have my goals and values changed so much that this relationship feels out of alignment? Question number three do I feel unsupported or unappreciative in this relationship.

Jasmine Star 00:03:02  Question number four. Are there ongoing communication issues that we just can't seem to resolve? And question five. Do I feel like I'm not growing when I'm around this person? If you answered yes to three or more of these, then it might be time to let the relationship go. And that's hard. I get it, but it's not serving you. Now, along with the feeling that sometimes you're going to need to exit some of those current relationships or friendships, you might feel a stronger need for alone time to reflect and disconnect. Why? Solitude provides a space of introspection. It allows you to connect with yourself, explore your own thoughts and feelings, and develop a deeper sense of understanding of who you are. And doing this will help you in business. You'll make more informed and confident decisions, and you're going to start trusting your instincts more. I recorded an episode called How to Build Your Self-trust to Make Better Business Decisions, and that would be a great one to listen to. After this one, I'm going to link it in the show notes.

Jasmine Star 00:04:01  I've said it before, but I've been in a stage of my life when I took a radical shift. So back in 2020, I became a mom. I moved, and I grew a SaaS company during a global pandemic. When things recalibrated sometime around 2022, my priorities had changed. I realized I was a different person, and I stepped back from most of my personal relationships. But it wasn't personal. I needed time to figure out who I had become, and I realized that I was in a season of no no to coffee dates, no to girls trips, no to masterminds. I spent a lot of time alone in 2022, and then I started slowly opening back up. In 2023, I joined masterminds, but I focused more on in-person meetups. I still wasn't at a place to go deep with personal relationships, but I trusted myself enough to know that I needed to spend more time with just me. Now, looking back at 2024, I've connected personally with old friends, but this time on new terms.

Jasmine Star 00:05:04  And I'm making new friends. On my own terms, I am unapologetic about what works for me, not because of who I am, but because of who I've become. Now I want to move on to reality number two, which is befriending fear. When you experience the growth that comes from leaning into fear, you eventually start to look forward to doing things scared right? So by repeatedly confronting your fear, your brain begins to recognize that feared situations, they're survivable. And this reduces the intensity of fear over time. And this helps you start seeing fear as a signal that you're on the right path. Fear you're on the right path. Fear you're on the right path because it's pushing you towards something that you truly want. So how do you know this? Here is a simple three part framework to help you befriend fear, right? We're going to be besties with fear. First, identify the fear. Start by clearly defining what you're afraid of. Right. So maybe is it public speaking? Is it taking on a new project? Having an uncomfortable conversation? Understanding the specific fear is the first step in managing it.

Jasmine Star 00:06:15  Next, break it down. Divide that fear inducing situation into smaller, manageable tasks. For example, let's say you fear public speaking, but you know it's something you need to do. Well, you could start by speaking in front of a mirror, or put your phone on and record it. And you could do this so often that it feels like a little bit more manageable over time. Then next you can talk to a small group of people for maybe ten minutes, and this can simply be your friends or peers or even your family. Just say, hey guys, I need you for ten minutes. That way that will help you before progressing to larger audiences. Right. We're just bring them down to small, bite sized pieces. The small steps signal to your fear. Hey, it's not as big or bad or scary as you think. The third step is to gradually expose yourself to fear. This is fear exposure. Gradually exposing yourself to fear in controlled small steps helps your brain recognize that fear situations, the stuff that you're like, oh, I don't know if I could ever survive.

Jasmine Star 00:07:11  They're survivable. The brain digests fear in the same way. If there's a lion in your bedroom or if you're going to pitch a venture capitalist, or if you're going to ask somebody out on a date, your brain is simply logging it away. As you're scared, you're scared, you're scared. But I hate to break it to you. Having a girl say no to a date isn't the same thing as being denied funding. And it's definitely not the same as a lion chasing you. The more you're told no, the more you're denied or the like. When you're passed on, the more your brain learns that it's actually not a matter of life or death. Taking a small step toward fear will reduce the intensity of your fear response. Now let's move on to the third new reality. The third new reality that you're going to face is defining and redefining what success means to you. So as you grow your idea of success, it'll likely change what used to be your goal might not hold as much weight as you evolved.

Jasmine Star 00:08:12  So in 2018, my version of success was how fast the business could scale. I literally drove myself into the ground trying to push our month over month growth in 2020. Less than a year later, my definition of success got much broader. I didn't just want to scale my business. That was a part of it, but it wasn't all of it. I also wanted to be an incredible mom. My version of success could no longer be just more revenue, more profit, more growth. Because if I got all of those things, but I didn't spend time with my new daughter or simply be present as a new mom, I wasn't a success. I was just rich, and I didn't want more money if it meant that I lost time with her. And here's the thing if you don't update your definition of success, you'll lose sight of your direction and purpose. And here is what I see in business owners. But I'm going to pause here. Before I move on, just because my version of success expanded did not make me less successful in business, I want to be very clear.

Jasmine Star 00:09:17  I am not saying because I became a mom, the business suffered. In fact, the business grew. But I was able to celebrate both arms of success because I had brought in the scope of my definition of it. So what do I see in new business owners? Well, early on success might be about external things like money, status or recognition. But as they develop and as they advance, they find out like what really matters is internal things like purpose, impact and personal satisfaction. This is why it's important to regularly reassess what success means to you, and this helps ensure that your goals are aligned with your current values, with your current actions and with what you aspire to do? There's a framework I want to share with you called the Success Metrics Review. And this is when you look at how you currently measure success, like financial accomplishments or recognition. And then you find out if these metrics still reflect what's important to you or if you need to add new metrics. Now, this helps keep your definition of success relevant as you grow.

Jasmine Star 00:10:21  So first you're going to evaluate your current metrics. Look at things that you currently use to measure success. Is it revenue? Is it awards? Is it milestones? Cool. Write them down. Next, assess the relevance. Do these metrics still reflect what matters most to you? Do they align with your current values and goals? I want you to number the list by importance, and then cross out anything that no longer indicates success to you. Okay? For example, there was a time when the metric of success was getting featured in a magazine or an online publications. As marketing has changed and attention has waned on these outlets and headlines are gone in mere seconds, I realized that I couldn't care less about getting featured in a magazine like I once did, but since then I've crossed it out as an indication of success. Again, I just want to reiterate that this is my version. My metrics know yours can look very different, but I'm just using real life example to say, hey, it changes.

Jasmine Star 00:11:16  Now I want to get to the third step and that's to add new metrics. This could be things like your retirement fund, rental properties, college funds, charitable donations, vacation time, purpose driven activities. Right. Because this ensures that the way that you're measuring success remains meaningful and relevant to what you truly care about. The fourth reality that you're going to experience when you grow personally and professionally is having increased self-awareness. I want to talk about this because even though self-awareness is a great thing, when you reach a new level of growth, you're going to start to realize things about yourself that you had in before. You'll start to realize things that you've been avoiding, habits that are holding you back. You're gonna start noticing your triggers and how you handle them. And it's so uncomfortable. But here's the thing self-awareness forces you to confront parts of yourself that need work, and the more aware you become, the more equipped you are to leverage those insights and make real progress. I just read an article from the Harvard Business Review and a study that said, well, quote, while 95% of people believe they are self-aware, only 10 to 15% actually are.

Jasmine Star 00:12:23  End quote. Okay. So what does this statistic tell us? It's easy to think or self-aware, but real growth happens when you face uncomfortable truths and you take actionable steps to improve. Okay, I'm going to just say it a lot more simple. The more you grow, the better equipped you become to continue growing. Isn't that powerful? Now I want to move on to reality number five. You may experience pressure to maintain momentum and this pressure of keeping the ball moving on the field. It can come from both internal and external applications and expectations. You may feel the need to continually achieve more, and then you'll probably get asked hey, what's next after you just like, accomplished something and you're like, great, just another thing to do. It's important to remember that it is okay to take a break and celebrate your growth in achievements. I'm working with a podcast mentor and we plan this five day growth challenge, and I explained to him that we're celebrating five years of podcasting and 500 episodes. And then he paused and he was like, wow, Jasmine, 500 episodes.

Jasmine Star 00:13:27  So few people will ever do that. Tell me, how are you going to celebrate? And then I was lost for words. I was simply in the mindset of our 5,000th episode. It made it feel like 500 just wasn't enough and that it was simple or average or something that anybody can do. And then I got a lump in my throat, because we've invested hundreds of thousands of dollars into the show. Everything from studio rentals, podcast project managers, editors, the copy team, guest logistics, and so much more. And we have it monetized. And I just wanted to create the show as a way to share everything I knew to help people. I wasn't so focused on like, what was next? I didn't actually stop to think and like, pause and soak up the gravity of the moment. So this is me right now celebrating how much you mean to me, this journey, this podcast, your reviews. When you share this show on social media, your comments, your direct messages. You are my celebration.

Jasmine Star 00:14:29  So thank you. As I prepared for this podcast, I started doing a little bit of research. Now, according to a report in Forbes, 72% of high performing professionals struggle with the pressure to sustain their success. So here are two tips that will help you manage this pressure and achieve your long term goals. Tip number one prepare a go to response when people ask you, hey, what's next? Now let me give you a few ideas. Here's some things that you could say. Right now I'm focused on learning and growing. Or for now, I'm enjoying the process and learning as I go. Having a go to response will really help you avoid the feeling or having the pressure like, oh, I need to figure everything out when people ask you. Tip number two prepare a response to your own dang thoughts. When you start putting pressure on yourself and telling yourself that you must create or you need to work on the next thing, remind yourself that you're human and it's okay to not constantly be working toward the next thing.

Jasmine Star 00:15:32  Listen, I'm just gonna be real. I'm mostly talking to myself, right? Tip number three is to label the periods you're in, labeling the time you're in. It helps you bring clarity to your actions. When you're in this season, like a season of building, resting or anything in between, you can give yourself permission to fully embrace it. And maybe that means pushing yourself to the limit. Maybe it means allowing yourself to rest. It prevents unnecessary guilt or pressure that enables you to make more intentional decisions that align with what you need right now. By labeling the time you create a clear framework for how to best approach your day to day life. I heard an analogy about being in lion mode versus bear mode, and it really struck a chord with me. Lyon mode represents a state of high productivity, intense focus, unwavering determination. It's when you're feeling motivated, energized, ready to conquer the world. This is the mode you're in when you're going into launches, or you're working towards a goal that requires sustained effort in concentration.

Jasmine Star 00:16:30  Bear mode, on the other hand, is a state of rest and relaxation. Now, this mode is so important because it helps you recover from periods of intense work, and then it allows you to return back to lion mode with energy and clarity. Now, I normally go into bear mode in December. Yeah, I'm still working, but things are much slower. I don't take outside meetings or consultations and I take a social media break. It's time to reflect and relax, and we even give the team the last couple of weeks of the year. We give it off just as a way to say thank you for being in line mode. Enjoy. Bear mode. Speaking of being a lioness, when January kicks off, y'all better be hearing me roar because I'm going after the kill. I'm going to be striking out against fear and doubt and going after huge goals. The five new realities that you're going to face as you grow is maybe, number one, outgrowing relationships. The second might be why not befriend fear? The third was redefining what success means to you.

Jasmine Star 00:17:28  The fourth was increased self-awareness. And finally the fifth reality was handling the pressure to maintain momentum. I want to say thank you for joining me on this episode of The Jasmine Star Show. I want to make sure that you participate in this week's five Day Growth Challenge. I hope this episode and the next five days helps you navigate your journey with growth, with confidence and clarity. Tune into tomorrow's episode, which is going to teach you how to develop your tolerance for uncertainty. And remember, if you leave a review in these five days, you will be entered for a chance to win $500. A small way to enjoy the celebration among us for five years and 500 episodes.