[inaudible] . Well
Speaker 2hello there and welcome back to the Jasmine star show. My name is Jasmine star and I'm so grateful for you tuning in today. Now I'm going to get into a really fantastic conversation I had with a friend by the name of Jen, but before we get there, I just want to take a second and give a great big thank you to you. Yes, you listening on your walk with the dog or at the gym or cooking dinner or putting on your makeup or in the subway. You for giving me a little bit of time, I have been able to connect with a lot of listeners on Instagram. They will take a picture of what they're doing when they're listening to the podcast and they'll share it to their stories. And I'm so inspired to see people painting and to see people cooking [inaudible] and to see that somebody's child enjoys the broadcast to seeing you in real life makes me want to show up in new and bigger ways in real life. So yes, thank you for posting and sharing and connecting us. Speaking of connection. This episode is all about connections and it is a conversation I had with my friend Jen Gottlieb co founder and chief mindset officer at super connector media. Now up until this point, and I really actually hope it stays this way, the people on the podcast are people I know in real life. I don't really want to bring on guests to like pitch a book or somebody on a radio podcast tour or you know, it's like I don't know how to ask questions from people I don't even really know. So the reason why the conversations and the interviews sound so real is because they are, I had this big one, huge wild vision to make the podcast feel like your sitting with me and the guest over a cup of coffee or a cocktail. You know what I'm saying? Depending on what kind of life you live. So this conversation is very, very much just that. It's as if Jen and I are sitting at brunch and we're going to get more into the brunch switch in a second. Now I have to say that Jen is basically APR queen and way cooler than I'll ever be. She has experience in the health and wellness coaching space. She had a 14 season run as a cohost on VH1 and she even had he Broadway national tour. So yeah, she's really cool. Now she's the founder of unfair advantage live the world's premier publicity event, connecting entrepreneurs to the media. Very interesting. Y'all was, she's doing and she's going to teach you how you can do it in your own ways in this conversation. So in this chat we talk about all things, publicity, mindset, and building connections online and offline to grow your business. Y'all, this is one action packed fast talking. Let's hit the ground running episode and I can't wait for you to hear it. So let's dive in. I am so, so, so happy that we are here and before I formally introduce this amazing unicorn, inspirational soul, brilliant business woman, I have to actually back it up a little bit because I've mentioned before in the podcast that I can be a little bit, how do I say this? Socially awkward. I am a proud introvert and there have been times where I go to events and they meet really great people and then my followup isn't all that great because the story I tell myself is they're super busy after a networking event, I'm sure they're bombarded with 10,000 people. I'm not sure I want to be that person to be like, so I got your business card and I'm just following up. So a couple of years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Jen at a conference and it was very quick. It was in passing, she was a radiant, beautiful soul and we said we did the very typical like conference thing, right? Like nice to meet you. We'll catch up soon. And then about more or less a year and some change later. I after kind of staying somewhat abreast on social media, I get an email from Jen and her partner Chris, and they invited me to dinner in Los Angeles and not just any dinner, they're just classy people. They're like fancy, classy people from New York and I get to invite email to fig and olive and Hollywood, California. And it's myself and about 19 other people. So at first I didn't get the framework of this dinner. I thought, Oh my gosh, I got sent the wrong email. Like I think they might be mistaken. And so I checked back and I was like, are you sure this is for me? And so I nervously drove from Newport beach to Hollywood and I get to the restaurant and I'm by myself again. Hashtag social awkward girl. You go to the bathroom and then you wait for people to fill the room before you walk in. And so I climb the stairs and immediately I could tell that the energy of the room was warm and it was welcoming and it was a private room. And two people really stood out from the crowd. And those were the hosts. They floated effortlessly from people to people. The minute you walked in, they made sure that they saw you and they hugged you and they welcomed you. Now mind you, I first met Jen and we spoke all of five minutes. So when she comes in and she says, Jasmine, I want to introduce you to people. She worked me around the room and then she said, if you'll excuse me. And then she went to go mix and mingle with other people. And on that day I looked around and I learned the biggest lesson. I learned how to effortlessly and genuinely and authentically work a room to make other people comfortable, not make yourself feel important. So I kind of just creeped on her and I watched her and we all sat at this table and her and her partner Chris, they host these random dinners. They cover the entire tab. Y'all , I drank one or maybe 27 glasses of champagne and we were just, I was like, I was making my , I was making my invitation known so we're there hanging out. And then what they do is they have everybody stand up around the table, introduce themselves, say what they can do for others and they have one ask, does anybody here and this is have no X . And the objective of the dinner is to connect people who can all help each other get to where they want to go faster. And on that note that is we're going to be talking about here today. I am actually taking that offline dinner, bringing Jen to this conversation so she can power us to learn how to authentically connect with other people, serve them well and come from a give, give, give and then ask mentality. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Jen to the Jasmine star show.
Speaker 3Oh my God, Jasmine. That story brought me right back. And it's so funny how you said that you were feeling socially awkward and he did that thing where you go in the bathroom when you girl , it was my dinner and I did the exact same thing . I tell everybody you're like, Oh she was floating effortlessly around the room. No, I mean I have things that I'll tell you and like whoever's listening, some tips that you can use to get out of your introvert aneurysm , if that's what you, what you would say. Because I can be very introverted too and I have a hard time in big groups and what I tell people is like, don't ever underestimate other people's insecurities. People are people are, people are, people are like, I always like to say like everybody poops, everybody poops. Everybody's got their, their shit, their insecurities and , and not , and, and you may see something that looks like effortless and easy and, but you don't know what noise is going on in the back of their head. So I mean, girl, you to me, I was like Jasmine stars here. I was like, I hope she likes me, you know, just want to provide value for her and I want her to be able to meet other amazing people at this dinner so that she can get whatever she needs to get out of it. And, and that was me at that time. So it's so interesting if you can like take a step back and really think, okay, what could really be going on in her head right now? You know? And it's not necessarily what we think a lot of the times, especially with social media. We look at people's highlight reels and what they look like from the outside and we create a story about, you know, what that person is really like. And it's not necessarily what's really going on. So I always, I love when I try to go deeper.
Speaker 2I love an N. Oh my gosh. It's like I literally teed you up for that segue . You're welcome because when you say you want to go deeper, you just don't talk that you actually practice it. So again, lesson number two I learned from Jen is not only did we talk that evening, now mind you, it was with 20 other people. It's not like we had these deep profound conversations, but it was enough for us to get to know each other deeper and then her follow through it was pretty brilliant because in like the history of me being an entrepreneur about 13 years, this thing had never happened. And so after the event, about two weeks later, she emails me and says, Jasmine, I wish we could have chatted more. What do you think about setting up a 30 minute zoom chat just to talk? And I was like, wait a minute, is this pitch like what's going on here? And it was literally Jen just wanting to get to know people, understand what people mean . Makes people tick because in her world, like her zone of genius, in addition to being highly spiritual health and wellness being an influence or having our own business, like she's a connector. She's truly like a magnet of people and so for her it's just in her brain. How do I find ways and pathways to connections? So we set up a call, we spoke for about 30 minutes and she was in her beautiful, gorgeous New York city apartment with sunset in the background and I was like, this girl is living the life basically you're like, Oh, walking postcard. And so I said, Jen, can you come on the podcast? Can we talk about what it is that you do? Not necessarily what your business does. How can people get a sliver of what Jen does so that we can start creating offline and online connections? Because many people listening, we're trying to build our business and a lot of people are like, but how do I get in those rooms? How do I get to know those people? How do I not come off as like a sleazy business person who just wants to get, get, get what tips, like where can we start this conversation of what are the three things that have worked so well for you? When you figure out how to create real authentic relationships with people that could then turn into business strategy and sessions and conversations.
Speaker 3This is the most important conversation that I've had in a really, really long time because I'll go on a lot of podcasts and people will never ask me about this. And this is the, if you want to know how to build your business in the most authentic way, that doesn't cost any money, and that doesn't really take a hell of a lot of energy because it's just genuine. It's thinking about this. It's four letters, H. O. P. E hope, help one person every day. That's it. It is so simple. And if I make it too big, if I'm like, Oh, I got to do all these things, I gotta reach out to 25 people and I gotta, you know, make, make a whole big deal about it, then I won't do it. But if it's so simple as think about one person I can help every single day and just reach out to that person and figure out how I can, I can serve them some . Most of the time it's not even asking them how they want to be served . Most of the time it's like getting a little creative and figuring out what would Jasmine want right now? Like how can I help her? Does she have a podcast episode launching that I could share and review and like, does she have a book coming out? Does she have a course that's launching? Could I help just like screenshot it and share it on my ID for absolutely no reason. Just a random act of service. Think about how you can help one person every day and not only will that bring along this beautiful thing called the law of reciprocity. So when I help you, you're going to just genuinely want to help me because it's like a law of the universe. You know when someone helps you, you want to help them back. But also what that does is it makes you feel good. When you help somebody else, you cannot not feel good. It's impossible. So then you're like, Oh, that felt good. I want to take another little action step that feels good. So what else can I do? Can I help somebody else? And that's how you create women relationships. That's how you broaden your network. And that is how you make steps forward in your business. That's it. Like if you only do that thing, you will grow your business exponentially. Ah , okay. So Jen's dropping bombs, we're about four minutes in this conversation and first bomb has been dropped. And guess what y'all Oh , and simple hope. Help one person each everyday . Now I said that was good, man . I was going to put hope. I spelled hope . Did . I was homeschooled. Let me alone how one person every day. Yeah, that is absolutely incredible. Okay. So let's take this a little bit further. Let's , let's stop here for one second because I want to give people practical tips, like immediately following this podcast, people will help one person on that day and then let's just multiply it by a month or by two months and over time you will have helped maybe 60 people or maybe you'll help 30 people twice, whatever, whatever your rubric will become. Yeah. What, what then like how then do you start figuring out where does, where, how, where does help turn into relationships and then where do relationships turned into like business opportunities? Yeah, so I would start with the hub . Well, I'm going to back up a little bit. I'm going to give you guys even a more tactical, unbelievable tool that you feel a hundred percent get you or anybody that's listening. Absolutely. Anything that you want in 20 days with just using your internal relationship . Okay. I'm dying. I'm so excited. You're so good. This is ridiculous. Okay. Okay. Let's go. Actionable steps. Yes. All day long. That's great. But like, if I can give you an axon , can you give me an actionable staff on the grade if I can do this? Yes , yes. This is called the top 20 and we get, whenever we teach this, I get messages almost every day of people that are like, I did the top 20 at worked , I got what I wanted. But the key is, is that you actually have to do it and you can get a lot of noise and it can get kind of scary when you start to reach out to people and ask for help and stuff like that. So what I say is that if you want this to work, you actually have to be brave and you have to take scary action steps and you just have to do it. So Jasmine, are you in? Are you going to do this? I'm going to do it like I'm going to do this. I'm telling you if you do this, you'll get whatever you want. Whether that's media. So you know, our business is PR media, so it's a way to get media relationships, make sales, get a boyfriend. I don't know. Whatever you want, you can figure it out and you can use this tool. Okay? Okay. So what you're going to , you have an imaginary piece of paper listeners. If you got paper out, you take a piece of paper, you make four columns, one, two, three, four . The first column you've put 20 like just a 20 on top. And what you're going to do is you're going to do a dump list of 20 people that could possibly help you in getting what you want or connect you to somebody that can get you what you want. So whatever that is. So let's say that it is, you want to get featured in the media. This is how it's used. So let's say you want to get featured in Forbes, okay? So you're going to list 20 people. And your first thought, a lot of people are always like, God, I don't know, 20 people. Yes. You know, 20 people. I promise. Open up your Facebook, open up your contacts in your phone, and don't just think about people in your entrepreneurial circle. Think about people like your cousins, your kids , parents, friends. Your next door neighbor, your parents, anybody in your life that could possibly know someone that could connect you to somebody at Forbes. Cool. Then you're going to just dump those people on a piece of paper. So when your second column, you're going to rate those people on a scale of one to 10 on how influential they are now, not how influential they are and how many Instagram followers they have, but how influential are they in helping you get what you want? So let's say one of your friends is the editor in chief at Forbes. Holy crap. They would be a 10 on how influential they are. Let's say your friend is, you know friends with somebody that works at Forbes. They're a writer, so maybe that's like a six or a five. Okay. Then in the next column, that same person, you're going to rate them on a scale of one to 10 on how likely they are to help you. So if it's your mom or your best friend or somebody you're super close to that you've provided a lot of value for in the past, they're going to be higher. On the one to 10 scale. If it's somebody that maybe you just met in passing that you don't really know, but you kind of know, or maybe somebody that you're friends with on social media but you haven't really spoken to, they're going to be a little bit lower. Then you're going to add up those scores, the influential score and the how likely are they to help you score and you're going to get a number. Okay, and then you're going to sort those numbers or those people, and that's in the fourth column in the fourth column. God , you're still with me. I'm with you. Okay, good. You're going to sort them in descending order, which means the easiest people to contact the people with the highest scores, they're at the top and the people that are a little bit harder, they're going to be at the bottom. Cool. Then for 20 days, you're going to reach out to one person per day. Now, the people at the top of the list, this is the key. They're going to be a lot easier to ask for help because they're people that you know, they're high on the level high scores, right? They're going to be like your mom, your sister, or your best friend or somebody that you've helped a lot so you can go straight out and be like, Hey, do you know someone at Forbes or could you connect me to that person at Forbes? Or, Hey, I have an amazing idea for an article at Forbes. You can go straight out for the ask, but the people lower on the list. You're going to have to create that relationship. Now what do we do to create relationships? Figure out how you can help them. I was going to say, hope. I want to be the Valley Victorian of this conversation, so forget I said anything. Jasmine, what are you going to do to those people at the bottom of the list? I am going to help one person each day and I'm going to read out to them for the first 20 for the first 19 days to see if I can help them before I ask for something on day 20 a hundred percent you are such a good student. Yes. Yes. Okay. This is just ridiculous. So what I like to do is I'd like
Speaker 2to mirror to ensure that I didn't miss anything. So we started with the foundation and this is like a life principle foundation, not just business, but that's hope. Help one person every day. And then I said, okay Jen, but actually how do we actually put this into motion to which she brilliantly responds. Let's go into this. What are we calling this? The 20 top 20 this is the top, top 20 top 20 cool . Great. So in column one I am going to list 20 people who I think could help me get the thing that I want. In column number two I am going to rank how likely they are to help me get the thing that I want. And column number three I'm going to rank how likely they are to actually help me, how influential they are. Oh, how influential. Oh, that's it. Thank you. Thank you for the clarity. Yeah , and then the fourth column is a sum of that number and I'm going to put the largest number on top. Yes. Right. I'm going to start with the person who's most likely to help me, and I'm going to work my way down to person number 20 on the list, but because I think that they're the least likely to help me, I will use the first 19 days to find ways to give to them before I ask for something. That's right. Dang girl. That's awesome . See, you're just smart and I love this. I love it . I feel like we could just like, we're like, okay. That was the podcast.
Speaker 3Ladies and gentlemen, we're done. This is great. This is great. So do you have any like real success stories from people who do this? Oh my God , I have my own success story. Do you want to tell me that I actually use, I did it. I'm like, all right , I'm going to do the top 20 I'm going to use it and I'm going to try to get something. So I did it. I did it a little small cause I was like, I'm going to do an experiment and see if this works. So I really wanted to get into well and good when I was a health coach and this is when I first learned about this top 20 tool. Chris actually taught it to me and well and good. I don't know if you know it, it's a blog. It's like wellness blog. It's amazing. And that would be a perfect place for me to be. So I'm going to list out 20 people that I know that could possibly connect me to somebody at well and good or get me in well and good or could help me. And I had met briefly at an event, one of the writers at well and good. And so she was like right at the top of my list. I'm like, all right , here we go. Now at the influential level, she's a 10 cause she's a writer at well and good. But on the how likely she'd have helped me level. I would say she was like a two or three. I briefly met her. I didn't know her that well. I've never really done anything for her and we had like a two minute long conversation. So if I were to just cold pitch her like, Hey, what's up? I have an idea. I would be like 20 other thousand people. I mean I don't even know how many emails they get with pitches, so why would she listen to me? So what do I have to do? I have to provide value for her. And I'm like, all right , what can I do for this girl? Let me think. What are the things that I know about her? And in that brief conversation I listened. So that's another thing. You got to listen when people talk. I was listening and paying attention and the few things that I learned about her was she was a girl living in New York city and she was writing a book. So I was like, alright , I was a single girl living in New York city at one point in time. In my life, what did I want? And I wanted friends. I wanted things to do, I wanted to go out, I wanted connection and you know, have places to go so I could possibly meet somebody. And then I was like, alright , and she's writing a book. So then I thought, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to create a brunch, a girl's brunch in New York city and I have a friend that works at hay house, which is a book publishing company and she's single and lives in New York. And I'm going to invite the girl from Welland good. Invite the girl from hay house, invite a couple of other women and have a lovely brunch and connect everybody and provide massive value for everyone involved. Now you may be thinking, Holy shit Jen , like that's a lot to do for like one little thing. But this is long game stuff. I'm looking to make real relationships with people because not she's not just going to get me into well and good. Hopefully I'll make a relationship that could help me in so many other ways and I could help her. And it could be a win win and we could introduce each other to other people. So I throw a brunch. Uh, it's, it's easy. It took like two seconds. I made her . Okay . I need , I'm a storyteller. Jen , tell me where was this French cafe Clover downtown in the West village. It's super cute. Like organic farm to table. Restaurant. Okay. And so like how so, so you go in New York, describe like what are you guys wearing? Not because I want to know labels but because I'm like I want to get this in my mind. Like I want to host a brunch and I just feel like I'm so awkward. I would just like die and be like sweaty, pitted and be like, Oh no one's going to show up to this brunch. Like literally set the scene for me because I'm dying with these details. So you host the brunch, I'm assuming you get there a little bit early. Yes. But, and then what do people wear? This is not a big brunch. Like the dinner you were at, literally it was five girls. So it was very small and I just sent out an email. I was like, I really just want to get to know you guys and do a nice fun girl's brunch. What was I wearing? I have a picture of this. Send it to me so we can put it in the show notes. I will, I'll say, okay. I wearing this little like blue and white romper. I remember, I like, I'm just thinking about the picture. Invited Angela, my best friend, I invited the girl from hay house, invited the girl from well and good. Um, and the girl , uh, from and good was wearing a yellow dress. I'll send you the picture. Okay . A very New York Frage . Okay. Exact image of what you would think. Like a girl's New York city casual brunch at like a farm to table restaurant would be. And I love this. I legitimately went on open table and made a reservation for four or five people. And then I sent them all an email and I invited them and we showed up. It wasn't like a big production, it was just easy. And we all came, had the most amazing time. Not once did I say I have an idea for well and good article. Not once. I just had fun. I just figured, Oh I was like introducing the to all the ladies and making sure we all like could help each other. And we didn't even, it wasn't even that organized. It was legitimately let's talk about boys, let's talk about alphas , let's talk about makeup. I don't know, whatever you got going on in your life. And then we had a great time skip to like a week later the writer from well and good, I'm not using her name because I don't know if she wants to be mentioned or not. Sends me an email and says, Jen, I had the most amazing idea for an article and I would love for you to be part of it. So then boom. So like a month later I'm published in well and good. I got what I wanted from the top 20 but not only did I just get what I wanted cause I have a friend now, now she is a genuine friend. Right. And I own a PR agency now. So whenever I want to get my clients and while good like this is long, long, long, long, long game. Now we have a great connection there. So it's, you may think like God that's a lot of energy to , to do all of that for one thing. But it's, it's so worth it in the end. And we always say the extra mile is never crowded. Nowadays with social media and Instagram, it's so easy to just DM and like stay behind the screen and not go the extra mile and not make real life relationships. But the things that move the needle forward. And what I've noticed for me always are the real in-person, deep relationships. Jasmine, we could have DMD all day long and we wouldn't have the relationship that we have if we didn't need at that dinner and we didn't do that connect all. And that's what it's about.
Speaker 2I absolutely am like smithing with this and I think that you're a living example and the one thing is like I would change the narrative cause you said it might sound like so much work to do and it was quite the opposite for me and maybe it's just how I , how I'm hardwired. And like that sounds like a lot of fun. Like it doesn't sound like it's super intimidating. I could absolutely reach out to three or four other people in my neck of the woods and say, Hey, let's put a brunch. Like that's doable. And I feel like it's really authentic and genuine to me, which makes me feel empowered that I can actually do something, find ways to help and then play the long game. So I love that. Yeah. Okay. So you did obviously talk about you do PR, let's talk about publicity. Like I know that a lot of people are listening, so I mean obviously we're covering the gamut of things right now. We've talked about creating authentic relationships. We started with hope, we moved to the top 20 pool. Then we gave a real life example of how you actually brought something to life and now years later has like a long standing relationship. So let's talk about those relationships. Let's talk about publicity. Let's talk about your unique perspective on publicity. And for somebody who's just barely starting out and they want to get to that point of publicity, how could they start preparing now?
Speaker 3Mm , they can just start doing so. I think the very, very, very first step in, in getting any kind of PR it is flipping your mindset. Because I think that a lot, that's the first step. And you know, we're PR done differently and , and big thing that we do differently is we focus on mindset because the first thing that stops anybody from getting their asses out into the media and getting their message, their important message to people that they could is feeling like they don't deserve it or they're not good enough. Or they're like, who are they to talk about that thing? So then they hide. And what I say about flipping your mindset is, is going from a mindset of thinking like, Oh, maybe one day when I'm good enough to talk about this, I'll get myself in the media. It's taking a step back and thinking,
Speaker 2do I help people? Yes. Okay. Then I have a responsibility to talk about what I do so that people that need my help can find me
Speaker 3because every single day that goes by that you are not sharing your gifts and your message and talking about what you do publicly is another day that goes by that people that you could be helping can't find you and they're going to go pay somebody else that's not necessarily as good enough as as good as you or care as cares as much as you do.
Speaker 2So I mean, Jen, I have to pause your eyes . You haven't even got to the actual like application, but I need to pause and like give honor to what just happened. Did, Hey Jen, let's talk about publicity. And then she goes, no, we're actually going to talk about, the key to publicity is first overcoming the imposter syndrome and embracing that you belong. You have a message to share. The only person stopping you from sharing it is you. So Jen is saying, once you move past that, then it is your responsibility. You owe it to God, universe , your family, your friends, and your business to talk about what you do. So Jen, let's go from there.
Speaker 3I love it and I love that you recap because I'm like, yes, that is what I said. I said something. Say it back to me.
Speaker 2Oh, you're on fire. No, you're on fire. You're, you're, you're going so fast. It's like star Trek fast. And I'm like, I need to slow your roll because we're going so fast. I need to like digest this cause this is massive. Like if that's the one thing that people walk away from. Yes, hope is important. Yes. Top 20 polls , important. But this right here, the fact that you have a message to share, you belong and you owe it to yourself. And your future self, you gotta show up. So this right here is this is, this is the golden nugget. So now that we've laid this foundation and now that you are display environs , but in truth, once, once, once we are there, once we say I belong from the warehouse to the white house. Yup . What then do we do? So then we need to figure out what type of media we want to get. So when people ask me that, they're like, Jen , I don't even know.
Speaker 3Like what? I don't watch TV or I don't listen to podcasts or I don't even know where I should be. So the first thing I say to them is, well, ask your clients, what are they watching? What are they listening to? Like it's so simple. Just ask them what, who do they follow on Instagram? What podcasts are they listening to? What blogs are they reading? What shows do they watch on TV? And then you can say, okay, that's where my ideal client is watching, listening to, reading all those things. So those you're going to create a media hit list like your wishlist of the media that you want to get. You should know what that is because clarity equals confidence and the more clear you are, the more you're going to be when you start pitching those media outlets or when you start just trying to get connected to people at those media outlets. So you want to be super, super clear on what media you want to get and the way that you find that out is yet ask people. Another way to find that out is really awesome. It's one of my favorite ways because it's another way to combat comparisonitis that evil disease that happens when we scroll social media and we see other people that are doing what we wish we could do and we get jealous and pissed off and all the things. So we call that FOMO, not like FOMO, like, Oh, I'm out at the party. Oh lymphoma and hard , but FOMO like, Oh my God, that girl does the same thing as me and she's the one that's showing up in the media and that should be me. That feeling when you feel that feeling, it's normal. So it'd be like, okay, Jen and Jasmine told me that feeling's normal. So it's normal. I'm just going to breathe into this feeling. But then I want you to use that feeling that you have when you see somebody else doing what you know you should be doing. And I want you to follow that person because that person is showing you where you should be showing up. They are giving you the actual roadmap. There's more than enough to go around for everybody. So if you see someone that you're jealous of, you're comparing yourself to your phone, mulling over, let that show you what's possible. Okay? She was on that podcast. Okay. They published her in that magazine. Oh, she talked about that there. That's something I could talk about. That's a magazine I could be in. And that helps you create your media hit list as well. So use FOMO and jealousy as a tool.
Speaker 2I love this. So we started off the conversation by the first key to publicity is understanding that you belong and you have a message to share and you need to step into that power. The second step would be to create immediate hit list, right? That's where the, it's your words and then if just in case you don't know, you ask people and then we, we , we change, we take power over emotions like jealousy and envy and we say, Oh, I don't have to perceive this negatively. I could look at it on objectively and objectively, not subjectively. I can look at it objectively and say the jealousy and the envy. I want to thank that person for creating a clear path of what I should be doing. I love this. Love this. Okay,
Speaker 3next step. You want to figure out what stories you want to share with the media. So what are the stories that make you special and different? And there's a couple ways to find that out because actually a lot of the time we're like, you know when you talk to somebody and you tell a story and their eyes glaze over or they start like looking over your shoulder, like look for somebody else more important to talk to. Like we call it mere cats . It's the worst. That's the word . Yes. But it sucks when that happens because that means that the story that you're telling, nobody cares about. Sorry. They just, it's not interesting. So the media is not going to think that's interesting, but for every story that's not interesting. There's so many that are and pay attention to when you tell a story, when people lean in. So you know when you say something and you tell a story that not isn't necessarily that cool to you, but all of a sudden someone's like, Oh really? And they pay attention and their eyes light up and they lean in and they're like, Oh my God, that's so cool. Those are the stories. Take note to those stories. Write them down. Put them in your back pocket. Oh, that person leaned in when I talked about that. That was interesting. Cause sometimes our own stories, they sound different to us than they do to other people. Right? Because we lived them. So like for me, I was on VH one for 14 seasons and to me it's like, Oh that was part of my life. That's not that interesting. But when I say that to somebody like they, they could not want to talk to me at all. I could be talking to them and they're totally not interested. They're like looking at somewhere else and I'm like, God, this person is like not even really wanting to be here right now. And then I say, Oh, and I was on VH1 and I met Sammy Hagar and all these people and they go, Oh all of a sudden they're like, that's super interesting. Really. Then they want to be my friend. So I use that a lot when I go to get media because that's something that makes people lean in another way . It can. We can, we don't forget your train of thought. I'm so good at putting in people's conversations because I want to , okay , good. Because this is the question that I, that I want , um , to really clarify. So what do people say? But Jen, I don't have stories where people lean in or, or, or what if the stories that people lean into have nothing to do with the thing that I'm really trying to be known for. That's my favorite. That is my favorite question because it doesn't matter because I , okay. So I use myself as an example. I own a PR agency that has absolutely nothing to do with heavy metal music or Broadway. And that was, I use that story, both of those stories. So I was on a Broadway national tour and I was on this heavy metal talk show for 14 seasons. Couldn't be further from what I am right now. Further, further, further, you would think, Oh, how could you ever leverage that and use that to tell stories about what you're doing now? But there's always a tie in because your mess is your message and we use this all the time. Your mess is your message. So things that have happened in your life that aren't necessarily stories that you want to tell now. They usually are the stories that make people lean in. And you've learned something from those stories that get you to where you are today. So like what are the lessons that I learned from interviewing rockstars for 14 seasons that I use now for my PR agency. And so that takes, Oh a cool story we'll find interesting and ties it into what I'm doing now. It doesn't necessarily have to do with it, but the through line, like the messages, like sometimes I'll say like here there's a great example of a client that used this perfect. It's my favorite. We had somebody that came to our event. She is a, she teaches sales, so she's a sales teacher, sales as a spiritual practice. And she's like, I don't know how to share this story. It's kind of boring. I don't know what to tell the media. And we were like, what did you do before you were teaching sales? She's like, Oh, I was a teacher and I taught yoga to kids in , in like spiritual practices. And meditation to kids like bad neighborhoods. I'm like, that's fricking dope. Why don't you talk about that? She's like, I don't want anybody to know about that cause it has nothing to do with what I'm doing now.
Speaker 2We were like ,
Speaker 3uh, you need to share that. The second she started sharing that Forbes did an entire feature on her and the title was how this teacher left the classroom and created a seven figure coaching business. They wanted to know that she's a teacher. That was her because people can relate to that, that transformative story. That's what inspires people. So think about a mess you can share that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what you're doing now that people can relate to and figure out how you can take lessons you learned from that time and how the dots connected to what you're doing now.
Speaker 2I love that. So step number one would understand that you belong. Step number two is to create a punch list of where you should be showing up and you should be creating lean in stories. And for people who say, I don't have LinkedIn stories. Your only objective then is to find the lean in story but find the connection to what it is that you're doing now today. So I cut you off from your last, where were you going in that now let's that's closing that, that little like detour. You were on your way to say something else before I rudely interrupted? I don't think I was. I think. Okay. Okay, good. Okay. I asked then what I just did is I prepared you for that question. There we go. Okay, so now that we're at this point and now that we have lean in stories and now that we're feeling confident, a little bit more confident about our message, the fact that we belong, the things that we're doing, okay, how then do we take how we've been prepared to get to where we want to go? Like how other than like where do we start finding outlets, places, people, things like what would be the first step for somebody to do?
Speaker 3You're going to take your top 20 list that you wrote at the beginning of this podcast and you are going to go down the top 20 lists and I guarantee you if you do this, you will get a media hit. You will get what you want. It is all already in your current network. You don't need to spend any money, you just need to connect with human beings. The media, there are people. So we just had, we were talking about this earlier, we had 40 women over our apartment two days ago for a women in media soiree and w like we create opportunities like this for belly .
Speaker 2Hold on, hold on, let me, let me, okay, so I just feel like my , my head's going to explode right now. Okay. So I love the fact that what we just did was loop the entire thing. Like I love when we have a podcast where it's like, it's sir circular. We started off right where we began, right? So we started off with hope. We went to the top 20 we lay the framework of where we want to be. We talked about our lean in stories, we talked about our objective of connecting the dots and now that we're on the precipice of getting in the press and doing the things that we want for publicity, we go back to where we began. And that's those 20 people who are going to help you get to where you want to go. Now Jen, let me take a step back because I'm all about the stories and details. Jen and her beautiful swanky apartment, the one we already talked about that like corner windows and I watched the sunset. She invited 20 of her students members. What's, what would we ,
Speaker 3no. So this party, we invited 40 women that all work in media, so producers, writers, editors, high level media, ladies like PA , power ladies, bosses in the media to come and our PR team. So I had about five of my publicists that work on our company come and we hosted it as our super connector media, our company and invited 40 of the top women in media to come. We fed them, we gave them organic wine, we entertained, we created , um, like a, what do you need help with right now board. And we just created a space for them all to figure out how they could help each other. Now what does that do? It creates authentic connection with women to women, empower them, but also, you know, creates win-wins because we're a PR agency and we want to create relationships and connections with women in the media so that they'll feature our clients and they'll listen to our, you know, they'll open our emails when we pitch them. So what we did was we created more top 20 lists with these ladies and we provided value for them and we just made friends with them. So now when we send them pitches, we send them emails when we're like, Oh Hey, we've got an amazing person to be featured in your article. They listen because they came to an amazing experience that we provide for them.
Speaker 2I don't , you know, I wish people can really see my face right now because I am Slack jawed and gobsmacked. Like somebody needs to pick my oversize jaw off the ground and close my mouth shut cause I was just like you literally, you literally shared your entire framework, you turn your business inside out. You explained how we should be doing it. And then what you just did at the time of this recording I had privy, I got an inside look because you shared it on Instagram stories and you were talking about, but you forgot the fact that you went and bought these beautiful flowers from farmer's market. You forgot that one detail. Okay. Cause that was like a big detail. I was like Jen notices the details. So she lays things out. She becomes the conduit. She's doing the thing she is asking us to do. She's creating one wins. They posted everything. Food, wine, organic flowers, connecting a group of powerful women in New York city and she doesn't say come into my apartment so I could pitch you my clients. She says come into my apartment so you guys can create connections. That's it. No strings attached. But because of that, she now has access and success rates that are like bananas because people know that Jen cares about them. Jen knows how to create wins across the board and Jen knows how to represent her clients. Really well. Didn't. Congratulations queen. Congratulations. You just out here killing the game.
Speaker 3Uh, you too. My love you because you just fire me up. I know , I know. I'm so grateful to just be here with you and to jam out like this.
Speaker 2This is, I just feel like you've given, you've given listeners like a gift. Like I have chills down my right, like people can listen to this, this completely free, amazing gift and you could start doing and deploying. You need time and you need focused energy. Now Jen, if people want to go deeper with you, like where do they find you? What is like people are gonna be like, Whoa, what does she actually do? Is she too fancy for me? Like how does this work? How can people connect with you? Like spit land laid on us.
Speaker 3Yes. So well come connect with me on Instagram cause I am super active on Instagram. You can DM me and I will chat with you and I will talk to you and all the things. If you are Jasmine's person, you are my person. So if you want to personally connect go there. But we have this amazing event.
Speaker 2We'll go there. We have to say go there like as people are listening like Instagram, how can they find you on Instagram?
Speaker 3Oh yeah, that's right. I got you . Let me tell you the PR ways. Okay. Yeah, you tell me the Instagram ways and I'll tell you Instagram help. Jen underscore Gottlieb. Thanks Jen with one N little little line Gottlieb and then my company is super conductor media but we have an Epic Epic event May 12th 13th and 14th called unfair advantage live where you come and learn everything I just said. So basically like that and more and connect with amazing people. We also do a medium mixer there, which is kind of like the one we did a couple of days ago, but like 10 X . So we have like over a hundred of the top media people that come in to meet with our attendees and create authentic connection. It's dope. You want to check that out? Unfair advantage. live.com check it out there. Fill out an application. Say you're from Jasmine a LA VIP service.
Speaker 2I love this. I like, I couldn't, I couldn't just say how much like I appreciate you doing this for the audience and for anybody who's listening and you're driving be safe. If you're taking notes, you can check out the links to everything and Jen's Instagram on the show notes. So be sure to check those out. So for those of you who are listening and are absolutely smitten with this brunch going jumpsuit wearing big hooped earing , brilliant soul who's kind and giving and believes that what you put out comes back tenfold , be sure to shout her out on Instagram. She would love to connect with you as what I tag is both because we want to chat it up and I understand that unfair advantage is going to be for somebody who has a really advanced business but check it out. But that is not exclusive. Jen is saying, I'm giving you the tools to get started so that when you actually get the wheels in motion, join us and if your business is ready to go there, check it out. Her and Chris host events that are like on a scale of one to 10 they're about a 12.5 so check them out. You won't be let down. They over-deliver all the time. Jen , thank you a thousand times over for being your beautiful, amazing, radiant self. I appreciate you. I'm so
Speaker 3grateful. Jasmine, thank you for being here and everyone that follows Jasmine star, you are in the right place. We are all honored to be here with you.
Speaker 2So friend, I loved this conversation and I hope you did too. When Jen said her biggest tip to building authentic relationship is the acronym hoped, help one person every day. I kind of just fell out of my chair because it was so simple and so actionable and as if that wasn't enough, she blew me away again when she gave us her proven top 20 tool. Honestly, just about everything she said had a lot of value. I hope you took notes. And more importantly, I hope you're gonna start taking action on these lessons today. So if you love to listening to Jen, share her wisdom as much as I did, we would love to hear from you. Feel free to shout out this episode on your Instagram story or an Instagram post, and please be sure to tag me at Jasmine star and Jen at Jen underscore, Gottlieb because we want to engage with you. You know, we're trying to live that hope act hoped acronym all day, every day , and we hope you do too. So you'd love to connect with you there. This episode was all about building connections and we definitely want to connect with you. Until next time, sweet friend, I hope you continue to shine on
Speaker 1[inaudible] .