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Speaker 2Hi there. Welcome back to another episode of the Jasmine star show. If you're a first time listener, just so you know, I'm not your host, I'm actually Jasmine's podcast manager Christie , and I'm here today to introduce this incredible conversation that Jasmine had with Matt LeBree on his podcast decoding success. I love this interview because along with pieces of advice like how to get clear on your definition of success and tangible tips to believing that you are enough. Jasmine gives us her top three tips for cultivating a successful relationship. Now knowing them personally, I think something that makes Jasmine and JD super unique is how they synergistically run a successful business and prioritize their relationship and love on their daughter Luna. So well. So if you'd like some insight into Jasmine's life and her business, you're going to love this interview. So without further ado, let's listen in on Jasmine's conversation with Matt LaBree on his podcast, decoding success.
Speaker 3Jasmine, first and foremost, I want to say thank you for being here and being a beacon of positivity nonetheless during this rather trying time. So really excited to decode your success today.
Speaker 4Well . Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 3Of course. Now first question for you straight off the bat, this is how we kick off the show. I need to know how do you personally define success
Speaker 4as the ability to do what I want, when I want and with whom?
Speaker 3I love that. Now at what point in your life did that come about? Like was it, I don't know recently was it when you decided to leave law school? I'm really curious.
Speaker 4Okay . I think that it was a gradual thing. It's not like I woke up one day and I was like, Oh, this is my definition of success because I will say that was a point in my life where as the daughter of an immigrant and as somebody who just really didn't live or have access to anybody who had ever started a business or anybody who had like the quote unquote, you know, white picket fence and like that broad American dream. I think that for me success initially, early on specifically in my twenties was if I make this much money then I'm a success and then what I quickly realized is as I acquired money and as I found what normally people would define as success as like a house or as a car or as money is that I realized that it was like almost existing in a vacuum that if I was able to get money but it came at the cost of doing things that I found personal fulfillment in . I wasn't a success, I was just rich and I think that there is this beautiful concentric circle that somewhere in the middle you can make money doing what it is that you love to do and that is what I truly define success as. But I had to actually kind of run in the wrong direction thinking that like acquisition was the key to like success and happiness when in actuality it was simplicity with the to do what you want and also be able to live the lifestyle that you hope for.
Speaker 3That's beautifully said and I definitely appreciate the transparency there because it definitely doesn't come on the first try. Right? Like you said, you had to go kind of down a different direction and then find it. So let me try and connect the dots here. Who was Jasmine and high school? Like what was the dream back then? You kind of alluded to what you were defining success as back then, but I'm really curious like who were you in high school?
Speaker 4I love it . This question. Um, I feel like I was the friend to everybody. Like I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wasn't qualified as like, Oh, she's the popular girl because my parents were extraordinarily conservative, very, very, very strict. So I never went to a party in high school. So it's like usually if you're popular, either the kid who was going to parties. Um , but I would say that I was known by quite a few people. I have , I also have a twin sister. So between she and I, it's like we just had the ability to connect with a lot of people at different times. I think that if you were to ask somebody while I was in high school or even after high school, I think people would say, Oh, she was a girl who was nice to a lot of people and worked really hard and that is a hundred percent who I was. I was homeschooled until high school. So I actually experienced public school when I was 14 years old. And so for me, I definitely stuck out like a sore thumb. I was like, you transfer classes, what's a locker? You know? I mean, I was completely lost. Um, but I think in those four years I really grew up, I kind of understood who I was and I think that for me, not nobody in my family had ever gone to college. Nobody had ever seen a college application. And so the fact that we, myself and my sister were even dreaming of that capacity, you know, that was like a big thing for us. And when I was a senior in high school, I was in the honors AP track and I ended up graduating at the top of my class. I wasn't valedictorian, but I was in the top, the top 10 of my graduating class. And so that opened doors for me to get scholarships to go to school. And I think that that work ethic that I developed in high school was the same work ethic that I developed, that I honed in on college, which then opened the doors for me to get to law school on a scholarship as well.
Speaker 3I love that. So while you were in high school, the dream was to become a lawyer.
Speaker 4No, that's it . Yeah. Thank you for connecting the dots for me. I will never forget being in 11th grade in honors English and we had to write a letter to ourselves in the future and the future. We're being two years in that point. And two years after that point, I received a letter to my mother's house. Our English teacher had ended up mailing those letters to all of us. And in that letter I had said, I am at UCLA, the university of California at Los Angeles and I am majoring in history and English and I am going to write like that was what I thought I wanted to do. What ended up happening was um, we had made a decision in our family that we, my sister and I were going to go to college based on the school that gave us the most financial aid and lo and behold, one school. What are your college gave? My sister and I both the maximum of financial aid. And so that's how we decided where we're going to school. But then as life often works, I ended up at UCLA for law school. Wow. Okay. That's awesome. So I just want to point out that practice you did like writing that letter to yourself in the future, like that is such a powerful practice. Is that something that's changing game changing? Oh my gosh, completely. And totally. And I have to say this is crazy that we're having this conversation because in November, 2019 I invested to go to a copywriting workshop. No, I'm not a copywriter and I actually prefer to work with copywriters, but in order for me to actually fully understand the power and mechanisms of a copywriter, I like to know a little bit so that I can clearly articulate the vision and execution that I want. And the way that you do that is actually understanding what it is that they do. So at least that's how I learn . I'm not a book learner. I am actually like a learner. By doing so, I went to this three day workshop and at the end of the workshop we were asked to write a letter to ourselves based on the business that we wanted to create and map our copywriting actions towards that. What we did that put it in the envelope, completely forgot about it in the last week. I'm like, I receive an envelope and I see my penmanship I very distinct feminine ship and I was like, what is this? I had no, we're members of writing this letter and I opened it up and you would be amazed that what is on the inside of your heart, in your soul that you know is truth with a capital T when you write it down and it comes back to you, it has just manifested in a way that you're like, this is the thing I was supposed to be doing and this is how it's supposed to be. And in this letter, which I think was a little bit veering off from what the actual like , um , the actual practice or the question of the prompt was, was I wrote myself a letter saying, this is what you're supposed to do. It is not about the money. The money will always appear. The objective is to build a team that will execute on a vision that is far bigger than yourself. And I am reading this over again and I'm like, Oh my God, what has happened since November, 2019 up in , through, you know, past quarter one of 2020 was I needed that reminder. And everything that I said was true with a capital T then holds that much more true here now in this moment. So going back to writing letters to yourself. Heck yes. Every day, all day, every single day for about five minutes, I just write three to five sentences. What am I doing, where am I going? And I revisit them 365 days later and it's very powerful. That is so powerful. I love to hear that. I really, really love that. So I know your story. I want to be able to amplify it though. And I do have questions about it. So talk to me about why you love law school. I left law school because my mom had a relapse with brain cancer and, well let me back up. Full story. Yeah . I was tired, stressed and overwhelmed in law school. I didn't like it. I felt like it was a bad fit, but I felt like I looked around school and I didn't see anybody else who was like, I am just loving my life and it's so great being a lost . Like nobody wakes up and is like, I'm so stoked to be carrying 47 pounds of books and staying up all night reading. Nobody's saying that. So I was just like, well, I guess this is just what you do. And again, I had, I had no litmus tests . I had never even known anybody in my neighborhood or my family who had gone to get higher education. Like I didn't know that you didn't have to be so unhappy doing something. I just thought this is the cost of moving from one socioeconomic strata to another. This is how you get your parents out of the hood. This is what successful people do. Again, you don't know what you don't know. And in addition to being tired, stressed , and wildly overwhelmed during my one L so law school is three years and they call it your first year you went out, right ? During my one L I received news, my mom had a relapse of brain cancer and she had been struggling for about eight and a half years at this time. And the doctors had said, you know, her time has come , we're not going to be doing chemo, we're not going to be doing radiation. We're going to remove the shunt from her brain that they were administering chemo in. And it was just kind of like that was what we thought was the end of the road. And I'm like, I don't want to be at the end of my mother's life stuck in law school, being tired, stressed, overwhelmed. I want to be with her. But the tricky thing became, I was on full scholarship at UCLA and part of that scholarship covered campus housing. But if you're not a student, you can't stay on campus. And so I had to move, I had to move back home. And it was then that, you know, you had that wild realization that my mom was 50 years old and I was 25 and I thought if I die when I'm 50 I don't want to die. A lawyer. Like what am I doing? And the conversations that you have with somebody at the end of their life is not about the things that they had done. Most of the time people are looking back and talking about the things that they wish they would have done. And I think that that became my North star. That became my barometer of like, wait a minute, why am I doing something when I know it's not something I want to do? And that was the first time in my entire life where something to shook so deeply and wildly inside of me that it broke the confines and I was able to kind of sort , sorta give myself the permission to explore what it would mean to create something.
Speaker 3Right. And you know, I just want to express my gratitude for you being fully transparent here again, because it's something that we both have in common. Actually. My mother battled cancer and one thing that actually differs between the both of us is that you were embodying the strength to be by her side in that whole , um, you know, during that whole experience, right. Me. On the other hand, I was kind of just running away from it. I was just hustling as much as I could. I just started working a whole bunch of different jobs. I'm like, I'm just going to make so much money during this time and kind of like mask the pain that I was going through. So I just want to give you so much credit for finding that strength and you know, being there with your family in that time. It's really incredible.
Speaker 4Well Matt , I feel like one is not better than the other. What I hear from you is like, I just want to be like, yo homie , give yourself grace. Because we were coping the best way we knew how. I don't think that there's one that's right or wrong because even though I moved back home, I just like you was compartmentalizing my emotions because I was in with close proximity to my mother. Doesn't necessarily mean that I was giving myself permission to like grieve or understand the gravity of it. And it took like legit, legit, like it took years of like good therapy and I have to say that my mom is still here with us and that has been like truly profound. But at the same time what I was doing was stuffing down my emotions to be like, you have to do what's next , you have to take care of your siblings. So I'm the eldest of five and so my mom was going through this. My, my brother and sister were in junior high in high school and it's just like they can't not have a life. So it's like I was driving them to basketball or dance practice or my dad is a pastor of a church and so I was just doing the stuff to keep the daily life going. And just because I happen to be next to her didn't necessarily mean that I had like a deeper or greater relationship. So I want to be like, yo, we were doing the best we could with what we had in one is not better than the other.
Speaker 3Right. I totally get it. So why do you find yourself kind of, you know, going along with life in its own way, like taking your siblings to practice, et cetera? Like was that your upbringing that you felt like you were next in line to start doing that?
Speaker 4Um, yeah. I feel like so, okay. So we always, we always ask our parents like, there's five drills and we're like, who's your favorite? Like, just be real. Just let us know. We're all, we're all old now. We can, we can figure it out. I'm here. It's still to this day, well denied vehemently deny the fact that they've ever had a favorite child. My mom will say though that whenever one of her children is going through something, that she has an affinity towards the person that she needs to help that person. And so she happens to maybe feel a little bit closer to that child at that time. And I think that what had happened was during this time we were all trying to cope with what we firmly believe was going to be the loss of my mother. And my father was a pastor of a church in East Los Angeles and I think he really poured himself into helping others because he felt so helpless. And it put us in the position to be like, well, if I said, and this is a hundred percent meat , not put on by my family, but I'm like, if it's not me, then who? Like who is going to do the laundry and who is going to keep things moving? And I really felt like my parents gave up so much to raise us because we were raised in the hood and so my parents were not going to send us to the public school that you had to go through metal detectors and their drive by shootings. And so my mom, who barely graduated high school, my dad who graduated high school but didn't even know how to read at the time, we're like, yeah, let's homeschool our kids. And I think that by all intents and purposes, people are like, you two are the last people who should ever be homeschooling kids. But they just tried so dang hard and they gave up so much that I just felt like if that's what you did for me, like who's going to step in for my younger brother and sister and I took on that role. So yeah, I don't, I don't know if it's my upbringing. I don't know if it's just who I am. I just don't know if we were all helpless and I wanted to have some semblance of normalcy and gave that to my siblings, I don't know. But it's a hundred percent what I chose at that time.
Speaker 3I love that. Now you mentioned your father being a pastor. Are you a woman of faith?
Speaker 4Yes.
Speaker 3I love that. I love that. So I always ask that. I mean I haven't got, I trust tattooed across my chest. I talk about it openly, this show and I'm just always curious to know, but I definitely respect that as well. And especially like just hearing your story, like it kind of shows like you're , you're shining light on that without actually saying it. So I definitely appreciate you talking about that. But moving on, what happened after law school and you know, being by your mother's side, et cetera.
Speaker 4Um, so I, in high school I met a really great guy and we dated long distance and well while we were in college and when I went into law school, I was kind of like, this is about the time that girls are getting married. But I was like, no, no, no. I got like, I got my career in my mind, I don't want to get distracted. And he was so kind and patient. But then during that year when I moved back home, I was like, I want my mom to see me get married. Like I want my mom to see one of her children get married. We had, by this time we'd been dating nine years, we knew that that's the path that we were going to go. And so he proposed and we planned a wedding in like less than three months. And so I got married and the doctors are like, your mom's not going to walk and she's not going to talk and she's not gonna go travel. But she did. She walked me down the aisle, there's 22 people at our wedding. I married my best friend. And like at that point in time I was at a crossroads because I received a letter from UCLA saying, okay, it's time for you to come back. You can reacclimate catch up with your studies and still get your scholarship. And I looked at this letter, I'll never forget it was written , it was printed on pink paper and I'm like, this is so random. And I just cried and I was like, I don't want to go back, but what do I do? And so my brand new husband, we've been married maybe a month and a half and he was just like, well if you could do one thing for the rest of your life and be happy, what would it be? And I will never forget sitting in front of plate of a plate of Mediterranean pasta, like fetish the cheese and pen a and like all of that . I'm sitting there and I'm like, nobody has ever asked me that. Like, what is this luxury you speak of ? Like what ? What is this I want to do? And he's like, no, really what do you want to do? And I was like, I want to be a photographer. And he's like, okay, but you don't have a camera. I was like, I know, but if I had a camera, like I think I could do something with it. And he's just like, okay. He said, I would rather see you happy and fail. They've been successful and do something that you hate. Right. And like that was just the permission slip. Now I don't want to make it sound like all super hallmark Christmas movie because we were pretty pragmatic. He's like, listen, you have three years to go back to UCLA and get your scholarships. He's just like, why don't you just take a year? Just take one year and just see what happens. And um, with that I was like, okay , this is what I want to do. I wanted to spend a year doing this, but I'm like, I have no money. He was with a startup company at the time. I had no money. I didn't got a job. I got like a part time, three days a week job. And I was like, okay, that Christmas he gave me a digital camera. It was very simple. It's very simple digital camera. But I was like, Oh God, it's happening. And then you have that realization that you're like after a few frames and you like look at your photos and you're like, Oh my God, I'm really bad. Like I was really, you know, it's like, you know, it's bad when people at your dad's church, you know, you offer to take photos of them are free. And they're like, Oh no, it's okay . You know, it's like you gotta be real bad. You gotta feel that. I was like, y'all just don't love God. That's what I hear you say. Um , but no, it was just like this kind of like learning process. And like I just spent hours on Google and hours in forums, just reading what people were doing. And then in 2007 I landed my first client and then, yeah. And then my 2010 was what is one of the top photographers in the world. So that's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3That's amazing. All right, so I have a whole bunch of questions off of this. Number one, you just talked about dating long distance. Everyone right now in this world is a little bit since because of quarantine, like we are forced to date long distance. In fact, I am feeling all the struggles of it. I'm curious, how did you make that work?
Speaker 4Okay, so let me just, let me get you to the end. I don't know if you've ever read those books like when you were a kid. I was like Nancy drew or like the boxcar kids or like the Hardy boys where you can choose your own adventure. Let me just take you to the end of the book, Matt . It's really good that if you can actually get to the end of the book, every chapter was a buildup to it. I can't, I could just cannot thank the experience of dating long distance because it forced us to articulate our emotions beyond physical connection and proximity. And it's just like there are so many nuances that go past between two humans and in a way that's beautiful but in a way kind of clouds the ability for you to actually say I'm having a bad day and here's why. And sometimes that physical proximity is I'm having a bad day. Somebody comes in, puts their arms around you and gives you a kiss, slaps your bomb or says like, Hey, let's make dinner together. And it's like this cool like relationship. We just move past it. But when it is relegated to phone, text or video conferencing, that doesn't exist. And so you have to just like sit in the suck. And that has strengthened our relationship and really opened up how we communicate with each other, which is powerful because we're also business partners. And so what we learned during that time apart really has set the foundation for how we communicate when we're speaking about business versus us having like a husband and wife conversation.
Speaker 3Right? So how do you find yourself kind of splitting the business and like the personal side of things, right? Because being in business with family and then being in business with a significant other like that is not necessarily the easiest task, you know?
Speaker 4Yeah, no. So , um, most of the time it's pretty clear when we're talking about business and personal, but there have been a couple of times where it's like my husband has have to stop and be like, wait, wait, wait. Are we having a husband wife conversation? Are we having a business partner conversation? I was like, that's a good question because sometimes sometimes when you're having a conversation with your partner, you don't want your partner to fix it. And as my business partner, he's really good at like poking holes. He's really good at vision casting. He's really good at like patching things up. But sometimes like as a wife I'm like, I just want you to say I'm on your side. That sucks. Let's have some wine, you know, like that. And so there's been a couple of times, but by and large, when we're having business conversations, we've clearly denoted the roles that we take within the business. So when it comes to like marketing, branding, outward facing components, I am 51% in charge of those things. When it comes to travel, finances, legal, HR, he's 51% in charge of those things so that we don't really have any bearing or foundation to like argue or disagree with. Because at the end of the day he could look across from me and say I'm 51 and then boom, you just have to shut up. Like you're right. Like I have to trust that the decision that you're making, even though I might not agree with it, like that's your domain. So like best pieces of advice would be to have clear communication but also clearly denote who like which projects belong to who. That has been a total game changer for us.
Speaker 3Right. I love that. So from a general perspective, right, if there were like three things, three keys to having a successful relationship, what would you say they are? Because, I mean you mentioned nine years and I'm sure you've been in a relationship more than nine years at this point, but like what do you feel like are the top three keys to a successful one?
Speaker 4Number one is communication, right? Like like I need to know that everybody says that, but it's really true and it's not just communication in regards to like facts , but it's communication. Clearly identifying the emotions you're feeling and why? Because it's , it's not very helpful to your partner to say I'm feeling sad or I'm feeling stressed because like you have like the, you have like the emotion, but then you have the underlying reason and I think it's super helpful that if I am communicating to my husband like, Hey, I'm really sad and then I say I think it could be because of X, Y and Z, and then all of a sudden it helps framework what may be, I just had an openly said like the narrative in my mind, so it helps put context on how he could approach the conversation. Secondly, I would think like it's okay to ask for permission for how you want that person to respond. So sometimes JD , my husband business partner, we'll say something and I'm like, wait, can I, am I going to be a hundred percent honest right now? Or like what do you need from me? And sometimes you don't need your partner to be a hundred percent honest. Like sometimes you just need them to like sit with you and then sometimes that person's like, no, I needed to do it to me straight. So open communication, the permission to ask for honesty and then grace, like it's so important to assume that the other person is doing the best they can with what they have. Like it's so important to assume that like, Hey, I don't think you meant to try to hurt my feelings because if you love that person, you're not trying to evolve things but sometimes can say something and you're like, that is such a salty move. And you can immediately like flashback with venom and vitriol . Or you could say, you know what? I don't really think you meant it that way. And when you call somebody out to be like, I know you probably didn't mean it, but did you really mean to like hurt my feelings and you don't talk about that. And nine times out of 10 they're like , Whoa, sorry I didn't see it that way. And then there's always that other time you're just like, you know what bro, I'm not going to talk to you right now. Like I feel like by and large that really helps a ton .
Speaker 3Right. I love that. Now you mentioned wine. If you could only drink one wine the rest of your life, what would it be?
Speaker 4Oh, it changes all the time, but right now I'm really vibing with Contessa Contessa Quinta as that like, I mean I know a wine that begins with a Q U I N like you think it is going to be way fancy, but it just drinks so extraordinarily well and I am a big, big Napa Valley red wine cab drinker and right now that's just, it's my jam. And it used to be, it used to became is like, and I know that's like the trendy wine does . They write out. But if I can be like a wine hipster, like, you know , I was drinking Caymus a few years ago, so there you go.
Speaker 3I love it. I love it. Awesome. So where is Jasmine at today?
Speaker 4I'm in Newport beach, California. I crazy enough, like I don't even know if this is truly the answer of the question that you're looking for four . But , um, so my husband and I have been in the adoption process. Goodness. Like we were in the deputy bus just a very long time. So I'm like upwards of eight years on and off. It's just been like a, a long way in struggle. So we've learned just to keep moving with our lives because you can't really plan for the unexpected. And so in January, 2020 and we had a big launch within our business, things were going crazy and it was awesome. And then we closed the doors and then unexpectedly we came across a fixer over in a part of Newport beach that we'd always wanted to live. And this house is like built in 1950 has never been touched. It is, you know is right. Like this is like a ripe fruit that you're like, Oh it's about to turn bed but we put in an offer, it was accepted but it's good and gentlemen is selling our house and we're like, I'm not sure we could sell our house. Our house sold within 24 hours. So within 48 hours we bought a house, we sold the house and then two days later Matt , we get news that we were placed for adoption with a baby who had been born in Las Vegas and we had like 37 hours to like make a decision to pack our bags. We're like, we're all in. We left this home, we went to Las Vegas and then due to like a few complications and things in court proceedings, we ended up having to live in Las Vegas for almost three weeks. And it was during that time that we're signing me papers and a mortgage and finally we have clearance to cross state lines with our new baby girl and we're so excited and we get home and we have a week to pack up everything and start building the project except for the fact that now that we have a new baby, we can't move into the house because it has assessed us and we wouldn't be approved by the state. And so we're like, okay, what do we do? And then COBIT hits and no construction is happening and no walk throughs are happening. And so now we're like, we need a place
Speaker 3to live. And so just a few days we found an apartment, put our stuff in storage, we moved in with a baby and here we are the very long answer to how we ended up in an apartment. You know, like life does throw some curve balls and you're like, okay, like you know, what else can we do? But just roll through the bunches. That is so true and that is amazing. Congratulations on all of that. That is absolutely amazing. I'm just really curious like how do you find yourself balancing business and you know the curve balls and like how do you stay in the batter's box to be able to hit the curve ball nonetheless when it's thrown at you
Speaker 4to understand that if every night my head hits the pillow in iSay , I did the best I could, then you can't ask for anything else because there was a time in my life where I was holding myself to this like really high barometer. Like I would look and say that's all the things you should be doing. And so at the end of the day, all I would do would just like punch myself in the face. He's like, the person who I was in the ring with was me and I kept on beating myself up saying, you're not doing enough. You're not doing enough. You're not doing enough. But it takes just as much energy for me to tell myself you're not doing enough as it does to say you're doing everything you can. And the minute I change the narrative to actually, I don't know, be nice to myself. I actually started enjoying the process. I actually started saying, what am I? We can't expect water from a rock. Like, are you doing all you can? Are you watching Netflix? No. Are you playing softball? No. Are you playing Madden? No. Are you like, what , are you wasting time? No, like I'm doing everything I can. If that's what I'm doing, one more time , I expect, you know,
Speaker 3then you're good. Right, exactly. I love that. So let me throw a curve ball at you. What is a question that you wished more people would ask you when you do interviews like this and how would you answer it?
Speaker 4Um , I think actually is a Testament to who you are and like your interview skills as you started that at the beginning. And that was like the definition of success because I don't think that we talk so much about that. I think that people assume that success looks the same for everyone. And it totally doesn't because I do think that there is the ability for us to have a clouded vision of what success is. You know, is it the nine Oh two when I was zip code, is it a private jet? Is it your Ferrari? Is it like, what is it? Right. And so then we assume that in order to be successful, you need those things. But until you actually take the time to define success for yourself, you're only ever going to be in the rat race and feel really far behind because it is totally okay for somebody to say that their level of success is being able to take their family of five on a Disney cruise. Like the minute you do that, you look back and say, I'm a success. Like a success for some people is to be able to have their side hustle turn into their full time gig so that they're making dinner for their family every single night. Some people's version of success is being able to retire their partner. So if what you do to reach success takes you away from the things you truly define as your success. So in the pursuit of the Ferrari, in the pursuit of the private jet, if it takes you away from family dinners, the Disney cruise, or retiring your spells , you will end up so unhappy and empty. At the end of the day, the greatest gift that you can give yourself as a human, even more so as an entrepreneur, is to define what does success look like for me? When will I say , dang, you made it when? Because if you don't give yourself five minutes to clearly identify what it means, you're always going to be let down and feel like you're behind the eight ball. And my friends, if you think back to who you were 10 years ago and you see your life now, I'm asking you, could you even dream this big? Like could you even think that this could be your life? And instead of looking around and saying, man, I have everything that I drummed up. Does it look and feel the way that I thought it would? Maybe, maybe not. But dang, I could say I'm happy now. Then when you reach that level of success, you could redefine what success looks like in the future for you. But until you actually define what it means for you, you will always feel behind and you will always feel unhappy and dissatisfied.
Speaker 3Right? That is so powerful. That is so powerful. I love this. So Jasmine, on the way out of these interviews, we asked three questions. The first one's a little cliche and I may already know the answer to it, but I'm going to ask it anyway. And it is, what is the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Speaker 4Jump and the net will appear. Met . Will appear. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So oftentimes I, and many of us listening get in our heads, right? So we think about all the things we want to play a chess game with the universe. And the universe will just look at you and laugh because you cannot make moves without knowing what your opponent will do. So instead of you sitting here and just thinking about all the things you want to do, you actually have to do. And I would always end at the precipice of an opportunity of my life and my dreams and just Teeter on my toes. Do I do it? Do I not? Do I do it? Do I not? And somebody in 2009 said jump and the net will appear, just take the action because there will always be a net underneath you. And I don't know why it like it broke shackles in my soul and now I'm just like, I'm out here like a leapfrog. I'm just jumping what's jumping, jumping, jumping. And a decade later I can look back and be like, dang, the net always appeared. And that's what I want to tell people. Stop, get out of your head, being in your head, thoughts, get you nothing. Action gets you something. Might not be anything thing you want, but at least you can say, okay, not gonna do that again. What do I try next? Legit.
Speaker 3So how can you get people to actually believe that? Right? As opposed to them saying, well Jasmine, that may have worked for you, but maybe not for me. Right? So like how can you get them to actually believe that and take that action?
Speaker 4Well, you have to first and foremost like one, don't take me at face value, good for you for questioning, but then you have to have the self awareness and the hutzpah and the wherewithal to say how many times am I going to get punched in the gut and get back up? Because if you're one of those, like I get punched and I say down or I get punched and get back up, but I'm like a little bit, I'm a little softer now and then I get punched again and I was like, Oh, that was it. Like if that's the game you're playing, this is not for you. You're your net want up here because you're not willing to keep on jumping. It will have the ability to say, Hey, I know how to take it on the chin, but I'm always going to get up. If you have that resilience, if you have that determination, and let me just say out straight out if you have the desperation, because sometimes people from the hood, sometimes from the ghetto, it's just like you know what the bottom feels like and you're just like, I can't get any lower than I am now. I'm going to keep on getting because I'm going to keep on getting up because I know what the cubicle feels like. I know what the long commute feels like. I know what I can't pay my bills, feels like I know what not being able to buy my partner at the Christmas gift for the birthday gift that I want. I know what that feels like, so I'm going to keep on getting up because I know what that is and I've learned to live with little and I've learned to live with much. I'm gonna keep on trying for the much. If you don't have that in you, then there's probably conversations not for you. But if you have that, try it. Try it. It works.
Speaker 3I love that. Wow. I could talk to you for days by the way, just like new friends. But I'm just like homie , like , let me repurpose this podcast. I'm out here loving this. I swear I really could. So let me reverse engineer the question I just asked you. I asked what was the best piece of advice you received? So let's talk about the opposite. Like what was the piece of advice you didn't want to hear at the time it was given to you, but prove to be true over time.
Speaker 4Um, you can hustle your way to a million dollars and you can't hustle your way past that fat .
Speaker 3Okay. So you can hustle your way to a million, but you can't hustle your way past that.
Speaker 4So, and , and it took me and like , I was like, no, you just, you don't get me. Like you don't, you don't get it. But like the more I sat with that, the more real it felt and it felt real in two ways. It felt real for my business as a whole. And then it felt real for independent projects in my business. And I saw it play out that I hustled my way to a million dollars, like gross. I hustled my way to a million dollars net and then with , I took on a particular project with my business and I was able to hustle it to like a million. And then it's like you hit a threshold. Like there's only so much of you, there's only so much that you know how to do and you almost need to like tap out at this idea of seven figures that you need to bring on others to help you get more other people who are better at your weak points. Other people who poke holes in your theory, other people who know how to sharpen you like sword against soar . So I realized that I could not get my business or projects beyond that million dollar Mark without having other people involved with it. And I hated the , I hated the advice when I got it and now I'm just like, it was right and I just had to sit with it for a while before I actually understood the gravity of what he was saying to me. That's so interesting. Are you familiar with gay Hendricks by any chance? The big leap? Yes. Yes, yes. I'm a reader. I'm a reader, homie . I love that. I , that's a great book first and foremost. But do you feel like that was an upper limit you were hitting or do you think it was just like you needed to, you know , get real resourceful and put people around you? I actually think it was both because at the time, I wish I had heard this piece of advice. It was in a group of other seven figure business owners and I saw just people nodding their heads, but I was like, y'all be tripping. You don't know the hustle of like a mixer Rican, Mexican out here, you know, like you don't know the hustle. Um, but I mean it took me, I'm telling you it was the advice I didn't want to hear and it took me a while because it was grappling of like, nah, I don't really feel like that. And here's another thing, when it comes about upper limits with money , um, I have a complete disassociation with money now. Like I feel like for a while I said if I get this, if I make that, then I'll, and then I just realized that like it's empty. Like that's really, really empty. Like an actually scientifically studies have shown that when people make more for a family of four in the middle of the United States, now of course it's different on Coastal's , but like the minute a family of four can make over $74,000 in the middle United States. Like you literally have your food and a roof over your head and a car and like that's what you need for security and quote unquote happiness. And anything beyond that number only makes you marginally more safe and marginally more happy. And I started noticing that like if I had X in the bank or if I had three X wasn't necessarily changing the day to day like functions of my life. And so I'm just kind of like, I'm just going to stay out of really looking and feeling like I am only success if this happens. Like this launch is only a success if this happens. So for me, I don't really struggle with upper limit. Like I can only make so much, which is why it could have been that and a residual component. But by and large it was just like, it was just something I didn't want to hear. But I'm telling you that I heard this in 2000 , uh, in 2019 and in 2019, January, 2019 I wrote a letter and it was like a not a letter. Yeah, let her journal entry of like I said, what do I need to do to three X my company in 12 months? And I just brain dumped everything. I didn't like to do the things that needed to happen where it was my weak points. And at the time in January, 2018 we had 1804, two of the uh , and I'm sorry for , it's like myself, my husband and two other people. And one of those people was part time and now in a matter of a year, we have now a team of 16 well , what we've been to do and how fast we've been able to grow and scale has been so profound that it blew my mind that even though I didn't necessarily want that advice to be true, I can now stand in and say it is. It is because do I think that I would have gotten to this level of success with a much smaller team yet ? Yes . Would I have done it in this amount of time? No.
Speaker 3Right, right. So the speed aspect comes into play too. That's awesome. I definitely appreciate that. So this is a challenging question and some people love me asking this. Some people don't because they don't want to hear this or you know, kind of only put it in this one way, but if you could only give one piece of advice, meaning if Jasmine was hopping on podcasts , hopping on stages , writing books, et cetera, you know , putting out courses and you could only give one piece of advice for the rest of your life, what would that be?
Speaker 4To remind people that they are enough or like did the person who needs to hear this right now you are enough that other people have said the thing that you want to say other people have done the things you want to do. Other people have more, are doing more, have been given more, have smaller waistlines, have a better head of hair, have a nicer car, have a better zip code. They've all done the things you want to do, but anybody else's success has nothing to do with yours. That there is somebody in the world who needs to hear what you have to say, needs to see what you are doing and needs it to come just from you. So you are robbing God, you robbing the universe of what you have been put here to do because you won't give yourself the permission to just be an everything. You are in all of your inadequacies, your idiosyncrasies and your beautiful glorious talents should be shared. And when you don't, the person you Rob is yourself and the others who are supposed to impact. So for friends , you are enough.
Speaker 3I love that. Now and I said that was the last question, but I have to , I have to like what are the steps to believing that, right? Because you know you said that you're robbing yourself, but oftentimes we don't even realize that we lie to ourselves. We cheat ourselves more than we do it to other people. You know, like, and I'll give an example. Like, if you want six pack abs or you know you want a fat butt or something like that, you know like you're going to potentially have donuts one night and you're just going to say it's okay, you're going to brush it under the rug. So like I'm really curious like what are the steps to believing you're actually enough?
Speaker 4I mean, I can only use my journey as an example cause I don't know anything else. I spent the vast majority of my life telling myself not in these exact words that you're not enough, but everything I thought is you should have done more, you should have done better. You could have done this and you could have done that. And as a result of only hearing those narratives, because a belief is simply a thought that you repeat again and again. A belief is just a thought. You repeat again and again. I believed I wasn't. If I believed wasn't doing enough, I believed I didn't have enough. I believed that I could be doing better. And that is not true because every single day, if I am doing all that, I can in the best way that I can. What I need to tell myself is you are enough and the only way that you actually believe that is if you keep on saying it again and again and again and again. You need to brainwash yourself into believing that because here's the thing is when you have your thoughts that keep on repeating, it becomes a belief and when you have a belief, it becomes an action and when you take action, you get results. That's the only way it's going to happen because you could be taking action and still believe that you suck, that you're dumb, that you're behind and you'll never succeed and guess what? You will never succeed because the only story you're telling yourself is that it isn't until you reverse engineer the whole thing and say, I am enough. I am doing the best I can. My success is a foregone conclusion. I am out here to learn not to fail. When you just say that again and again and again, it becomes true.
Speaker 3Yeah, it most definitely does. Jasmine, I love this. I'm so grateful to be able to amplify this. Now. I'm going to have all of your social links, websites, projects, all that good stuff in the show notes of this episode, but Jasmine, thank you again for hopping on here. I truly do appreciate it.
Speaker 4You're amazing.
Speaker 2Wasn't that such a great episode? I'm telling you guys, listening to Jasmine tell her story from start to finish. Seriously, never gets old for me. It's just so inspiring and Matt was a great host who knew just where to steer the conversation. Friend , if you enjoy the Jasmine star show as much as I do, would you make me Jasmine and really our entire podcast even do a happy dance by leaving an iTunes review. All you have to do is open the purple Apple podcasts app on your phone, search for the Jasmine star show and click write a review. There are already hundreds of amazing entrepreneurs who've taken the time to do so. Like Christina Marie blog, who said, we'll not miss an episode. Jasmine is an incredible communicator and shares invaluable wisdom. She shares manageable Chevelle action steps and does it all with an authentic voice. She's very intentional with their platform and does such a good job getting you motivated to take action. Thank you so much Christina, and thank you hustler for listening to this show that we tirelessly work on every single week to make sure you get tangible tips and inspirational content to help you build your business and a life you love. Until next time, friends. Bye for now.
Speaker 1[inaudible] [inaudible] .