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Speaker 2you're listening to the Jasmine star and today J D show today. My husband, JD is on the podcast with me for our very first ask us anything episode. This might be our first and last. Who am I getting? But all of the questions we'll be answering today were sourced from the social curator community and neither of us have seen any of them, which makes me a little nervous. Are you ready to dive in? I'm ready. Okay. Okay. There into a couple of categories. We have business, we have a Parenthood, we have relationship, and we have for JD only. Oh man. He'll save up for last. Just because he said that. I think we should start there.
Speaker 3Let's do it then. Yeah. Actually, you know what? Let's do that. Yeah .
Speaker 2Okay. For this, for JD . Yeah, I think so too. Let's go to the juicy stuff. Okay. Okay. We need to stop. Okay. Um , Amy Jill. Peyser. Jasmine always says she's an introvert. What is she really like off-camera ? JD still bubbly. More relaxed, locked away. Tell us.
Speaker 3Oh man, no, no, no, no. I'm bubbly. Yes, but no, she's a , she's a watcher. Waiter thinker, and then she'll take a move or two. She usually pushes me in front of a crowd. Oh , says go see what's going on. Totally. Totally. Yeah. No , Jasmine's definitely an introvert. Um, but you know, I feel like it's what makes her so powerful, I think. And beautiful because online on social media, she's out there and she's, you know, she's in it every single day. Being social in our personal life. She,
Speaker 2I'm antisocial, you know, she socializes with her books
Speaker 3and I think it's just, it's such a good balance because it's where she gets to rest and her mind gets to kind of breathe. So
Speaker 2one thing too is like how this actually looks in real life. If JD and I are traveling, I'll say, Judy , can you go and ask? Or gee, I think you should be in line. Or we're sitting next to each other in a plane. I'm like, JD , can you ask the, and he's like, jazz , you get totally asked for what you want. Like I, you know, just like, Oh, that was a door . Slam me some nice ambient noise there. Hey, it's real life. It's real life. Diane Wingert asked , this one's for J D J D you're quite popular with the ladies, right? What are the challenges of being married to a passionate, driven and ambitious woman? Ooh ,
Speaker 3uh, gosh. Let's see . Uh , the toughest thing is definitely work life balance. Like we had this thing where we , we always try to shut everything down by six, six o'clock, six 30. Now you don't have to ask me twice. I'm, I'm out the door at four. I'm just not , not working at Pasmore, but with Jasmine, you know, it's something that we've always set , but it's a constant, it's a daily reminder. It's not like one day she just, Oh, I shut my computer easily every day at six. It's like, no, it's, it's more like , um, you know, when the time starts getting closer to six and , and you know, she's still barely jumping onto a project. You always have to remind her like, Hey, you know , let's try to finish it by six or six 30. I feel like those little things, I know it kind of sounds like I'm being this overbearing partner, but at the end of the day, it's like, it's the best way for us to do the things that I know truly mattered to us, which is many times , Oh , I cut you off. That's what we do too. Yeah. I liked it. I liked it and it was very nice. But like if you had to guess, if you weren't reminding me to get off the computer but don't want to get off, how many do you think I have a number in my head? I'm not sure you would get off at eight 39 every day. I honestly believe it . I think that you'd do it right. You know, you , you take 25, 35 minutes to decompress right before bed and then go to hit, hit the bed by nine 30 10 every night. That's what you would be doing. But you know what, they're , um , it's crazy because it's not like you would be, you'd actually be really happy doing that. You like , you actually like it . It's not like you're , they're like, Oh my gosh, I have to work until 10 no , you actually want to be working. So you know, it's the , it's that balance for you. That's really tough. But that's why I think I have to remind you all the time. But I know that you really enjoy walks with our daughter and our dog and dinner . So I do like the life that I want. Like when we took the time to define what success is , it was, it was that, it was the being able to love what I do, but also being able to love the time that we have like with us. Like that's the thing that matters most and sometimes they just need to get, yeah, I'll actually all the time I need to get around. Okay . So that's a big one. And then I can just add one more. Maybe this one is the only one that you put into this podcast, but one of the biggest things that like, you know, living with such a passionate person is you always feel like you're unsettled. Like when we do a project, we do it, we finish it, and then there's a next project coming up and it's like that with like everything, when we moved through it , when we bought a new house, we're moving in and Jasmine's just, she's, she doesn't want him to move out, but she's already thinking about where we're going to be in 10 years. I'm like, Whoa, let's just breathe. Enjoy. But you know what? My mom, when my mom , my mom and dad first met Jasmine, you know, a year in, they're like, does she ever relax ? Does she ever take a break? And I remember thinking about that and thinking, am I never going to relax? I never got it .
Speaker 2Okay. You were warned by your parents when you were 17 years old,
Speaker 3but you know, it's like, I like your pace. I just know that I also realize I miss relaxing.
Speaker 2I think this interview is so awkward for me right now because we weren't going to listen to like, he misses relax .
Speaker 3No, I do really , here's the thing, I take the weekends off so I relax every weekend.
Speaker 2Okay. You know what? I don't know if I want this podcast to go out and do the interwebs. We'll see. We'll see how this goes. Um, okay. So McKayla , this is the last one . Have
Speaker 3questions for J D okay. Okay. Malia , Rickard , what advice do
Speaker 2you give to other husbands and what advice do you give to wives to be better business partners, owners in order to help their husband or partners be more successful? Dang, that was deep. These are all pretty deep, man. Why isn't anybody asking us what we like to like what movies we like? What's our favorite taco
Speaker 3that I can, I can talk about that for days. Okay. This is a tough one because I feel like it's ever evolving, but I know that the one thing that got us out of the woods when we first started working together, the best thing is defining our roles in, in, in our personal lives and also in business. Most importantly in business. We do not want to work on the same projects today . There , Jasmine and I, we work really well together. We , um , we are synergistic. But if you put us in the same, on the same project,
Speaker 2right? Yeah, it would be a two headed dragon. Right ?
Speaker 3I would hate to see us in one of those where do those races where you wait , where we tie up ,
Speaker 2Oh, the three legged race JD and I would be would be the first loser. Right . And you would run to the left a hundred percent and I would run faster than you because that's, and I would just carry you clearly defined roles that that is the best advice that we always give . I'm sure if you've listened to the podcast for a while , you've heard me say it on other podcasts, that the reason why the relationship works is because we're not in each other's business. We empower each other to do what we're each independently good at.
Speaker 3Yeah. And husbands, what can you do for your wives? And actually I'm going to give the same advice for wives.
Speaker 2Massages for your husband's cooking dinner. Get those, get those muscles.
Speaker 3There's , um, it's patients and I, I feel like Jasmine had so much patience with me when we first started our photography business. And even our business business. I'm a dreamer. I'm a thinker. I love to come up with ideas. But the practical part, like actual doing piece, I take a long time to get moving. Yeah. And for me too , I feel like I've had to have also a lot of patients in regards to jazz. Like , you know, we're evolving, so we're changing every, I dunno , we're always changing. So just patients, I guess. Let me give you a quick,
Speaker 2I'm being patient with your patient dancer [inaudible] Angela Barton as can you tell a story when you first started to work together? Ooh . T we about to spill the tea. Okay , fine . Throw me under the bus to give the , give the , um, the, the guests . I always say the guest story. I always say the guest story. Here's another story. If you want to know what the guest story is, maybe ask for it in a future episode. Bye bye . DME at Jasmine star. Okay, so it's a gas, it's another, it's one of those, it's another power struggle conversation. Got it. Okay. So it was a gas station, just FYI. It was gas for the car. [inaudible] who's listening to his podcast, I want to know, I'm sorry, in advance if my mom is listening, she's gonna be like, it's not called farting. Cold . Fleeting .
Speaker 3Okay , so not a story.
Speaker 4The task there was , um, when JD and I first started working together , um , in photography you have a first photographer and you have a second photographer and the first photographer is the one who's basically leading the charge and the second photographer will fall in line and do other tasks as asked. So JT and I are shooting an event together and there's this one part that if you're a wedding photographer, you know, like this is like the worst part of being wedding photographer and it's called table shots where the brightening room go to 800 tables and they fake smile and they clink glasses and there's really not a photo to be taken, but they just expect the photo knowing the bride and groom will never use it. It'll never go into a photo album. But for posterity's sake it's there. So JD and I would always take turns doing this. But then on one particular wedding day I was like, so as the first photographer, I'm going to ask you if a second photographer to go and do table shots and JD is like, no, no, no. We take turns and I was like, well you see as the first photographer, I'm actually rather busy right now. He's like, you're drinking water. Then I replied, very busy drinking water. Can you Oh second photographer, please go and do the table .
Speaker 3This isn't one of those, you know, 20 minute tasks like you go , go take some photos. This is a three hour task, three hour job. Can you go and take them ?
Speaker 4Worst job we have here today and JD, I actually will say that it was in actually this is like a relationship lesson . If you, even if you're a first photographer, second photographer, business partners or even life partners is in order to actually get through and get the change that you want initially it's best instead of disagreeing at the moment to succumb because he ended up doing doing the table shots and then on the car ride home. He was like, yeah, so I did those table shots and I just have to say that it's something we both don't like. And even if you're the first photographer and I'm the second photographer, it's worth noting. We also go to bed together and I was like, Oh to shake .
Speaker 3And that's when we had this conversation of, you know, I CA as a husband, I expected a, can you please like at least even a please , please and thank you. Whereas you know , but that's a husband talking, right ? A business. You don't tell your boss like, can you please say please and can you say thank you when you don't ask for those nice views. Right. So it's like how am I supposed to expect that in a working relationship? So that's a reckoning I had to come to grips with because that was, that was, I think that was the hardest part. The harder one for me because I'm all about being polite all the time either like that's actually even a , Desmond wants a glass of coffee, a cup of coffee. It's like she can't just be like, can you make coffee? It has to be. I think I grew up that way.
Speaker 4So he grew up totally different. I grew up that if you say, can I, can I have a cup of coffee? Like you're being polite,
Speaker 2please is implied in my yes , in my family. That's implied. Like of course you're going to say please. And so to this day I'm like, can I have a cup? Please? Can I have coffee? Jade ? He's like, please can I have coffee please? And I was like, Oh , thank you ever, ever, ever settle . Think of the glass on the table. You're welcome. I was like, Oh, okay. Um , so I think we talk about
Speaker 4working together. It's all the actually the small stuff. It's the minutia within the relationship that plays out in a professional capacity. So it is important for me to express gratitude, especially. So hold on. Can I please say thank you? I'm just kidding. No, seriously, without being cheesy. Thank you. I appreciate you even recording this podcast. You don't actually like being in front and you actually don't like you're doing something for me. Very generous. And I want to say thank you. You're welcome.
Speaker 2Well , it came off of the audio was I was literally on my knees and I was like, can you please do this? But I said , begging is not becoming like a get up . Get up. He did. He did.
Speaker 4He did. Okay. We have a few more minutes if you were a minutes . Okay. Um, this actually goes into Parenthood. JD actually has to leave right now and take Luna to a doctor's appointment. So we are under the gun. Taylor with Weatherspoon . How are you doing as a mom? Preneur sometimes it doesn't, it doesn't seem like work life balance exists. Would have been your biggest challenges as parents running your business? I feel like, I mean, okay, here's the thing. So oftentimes in my DMS it's like, I feel like you can't ever be like the right kind of mom and I don't think you'd be the right kind of parent. I feel like whatever decisions we make, people always have opinions about it. Like, so for instance, I had casually mentioned on Instagram stories that Luna was feeling under the weather because of immunizations and lesson learned. Don't talk about immunizations on social media because so many people said you shouldn't be getting her immunized. Don't you know what shots are doing? This could be terrible. Are you doing your research? And the thing that I just don't have the ability to all the time is explained that we're in the adoption process. We are mandated by the state of California to immunize our daughter. We are not afforded the luxury of choosing that. The decision was made for us. So when we talk about like work life balance, we talk about challenges. I think it's the same challenge as anybody else, but it's sometimes magnified because people have a lot of opinions about it. What about, what do I hear
Speaker 3and that scope? Yes, I completely agree with everything you said. I just think that life is a constant reset. You know, we weren't living our lives the same way we were living them three months ago. And here's the thing, like if I could just say like it's , it's all about grace. You have to give yourself so much grace. Like you're not a bad parent because you weren't able to balance your life. You know, it's, it's every, every day you have a new opportunity to do something that has a little bit more balance and there's no such thing as perfection, so give yourself lots of grace. That's all. I mean, I feel like that's how we operate. Like we're not perfect and we make a lot of mistakes, but we don't ever, I don't know ,
Speaker 4I like that. I think that that was super grounding and I wanted to say thank you.
Speaker 2I , I , I'm going to hold a mic. I'm going to walk around with a mic all day, every day and you're just going to say please and thank you because I think because you're being recorded
Speaker 4important. That notion of grace as you are building a business and being a parent. Like if that's the one thing that we're doing this podcast for is a reminder first and foremost for us because I think that we can beat ourselves up at times and then just realizing that every day my intention is to set an example for my daughter to show her what it means and I also will say that JD and I are in a unique position that Luna gets to parents with her continuously throughout the day. We also have additional familial and structural support within the business to be able to do those things. So grace upon grace in all capacities. Yeah.
Speaker 3Treat yourself the way you would tell a friend to treat themselves. Like anytime a friend ever asked me that kind of question that they're struggling with balance, I look at them with so much empathy and say, give yourself some grace. I'm like, why wouldn't we do that for ourselves? But that's not, yeah. Anyway . True . Let's move on.
Speaker 4That's true. I feel like I want to say treat yo self . I don't even know. I don't even know why I want to say it. I just feel like maybe we should get that. Like on a shirt, it's like, Hey dad, treat yoself and in the back it says with grace,
Speaker 2is it in this idea or no, I wouldn't wear it, but Hey, I support you girl. You go sell that thing. You're rude. I would hope that you'd say you'd be the first person to buy it. You know , for Christmas, you know me , I've been with Luna on Instagram for the photo. I just wouldn't like hanging out with the boys. They're duplicitous and I'm let down. You know what you're getting for Christmas, FYI. Right? Okay. Teach yourself. Treat yourself with grace. Grace. I got you . Okay , last question from Mark Bates. What is one thing that you love work ? I like Mark. What's up new Mark. That's why all of these curators
Speaker 4to ask these amazing questions like we all know you by name. J D knows Mark. Um, what is the one thing that you love about each other? That the outside world never gets to see or doesn't see that often? I actually should have asked the question like the way that Mark speaks because it'll buy you some time. I know this is what I do. What is the one thing you love about each other that the other world doesn't get to see or doesn't get to see that often. And I would like to say thank you Mark for giving me my daily dose. I always have to speak in a British action at least once a day or else I didn't live my best life. So Jay , what is it?
Speaker 3This is going to sound so cheesy, but I love how committed you are to , to us, to the business, but to us and the businesses part of us and our baby and just um, yeah, you just hear, you know, if I'm ever, if I ever feel like my day has been taxed or taxing, I just, you have this weird way of always making me feel like there's no one else. I'd rather do that cause you just like, I dunno, I feel like it's like you , you go for the, you know, it's like you go for the big guns, you bring up the big guns and like you all spend some quality time with me or you rub my head and like give you a neck massage. And I'm like, this girl just, she gets it. She just gets it.
Speaker 4I'm over here. I'm glad I got a little gangster tears. If you cry, the tear doesn't fall.
Speaker 3Yeah . That's a gangster tier. So that's what the outside world sees. Jasmine, she's, she's, she's, she's a bunch of putty but in a good way. And I just love, she's just, she's, yeah. Commitment Mark. That's for me. She's so committed. That wasn't a ass JD. That's an ass jacket .
Speaker 4The thing that I absolutely love, love, love, love about J D that people oftentimes don't get to see is like his utmost dedication to Luna. Like you , um, you always go out of your way. Like I feel like whenever there are days that I, Oh man, I feel like him . I feel like whenever there are days that I feel like I'm not being the mom, I want to be like you just show up twice much like some days, you know, I feel pretty stretched with all this stuff I have to do and you like pour double into her. So like at the end of the day when we have dinner together or if I put her down, you're like, she saw you and she was here with you even though like you picked up a little bit more of the Slack and that means that means a lot. Wow . This is like therapy. I mean,
Speaker 3I love you. I love you. I , I don't know what to say. This is weird because in real life I'd probably, alright , this is real life, but I lean over and give you a hug and just, you know, say I love you.
Speaker 4You could kiss on camera. Okay, we're done because friends, there you have it. We love sharing our lives with you and thank you to all the curators who submitted these questions. If you like this insight into our personal lives, then let us know with an iTunes review reviews. Let me, and now J D since he's my cohost , um , it lets us know the content that you want to hear more of. And if you could tell us things that maybe JD would want to come back in the future, maybe I have to get down and bake again. Please don't make me do that. If the audience will speak, if the audience will speak, maybe we can convince them to come back. Until next time. Thank you so much for tuning into the Jasmine star show today, and don't forget, you're welcome.
Speaker 5Wow.
Speaker 3No, no, no . Cheat yourself.
Speaker 5Yes .
Speaker 1[inaudible] .