Boundaries
Speaker 2or should I say very dramatic like boundaries? When you hear that word, you might've just like winced from uncomfortability or even felt like riddled with imaginary guilt. For what? I don't know. The truth is boundaries make even the most seasoned entrepreneurs uncomfortable because by nature setting boundaries means that we are essentially putting ourselves and our needs first. And you want to know what that's a good thing, but I want to be honest with you. The minute I press the record button, I thought to myself, is this really what I want to talk about? Do I really want to let people in the journey of what it means to have learned how to set boundaries? And the answer is if I could save anybody heartache or time from the mistakes that I made for having a reckless life, as I built a business, I'm going to speak up because as an entrepreneur, you're a major part of your business. If you're a solo preneur, you are the business, which means that your mental health must be it's hot priority in order to make sure that you are on top of your game. Now, also, in addition to this business owners, traditionally have a more difficult time separating their lives from their businesses, because it's so much more difficult to shut off at the end of the day. Like, can I get an amen? Like if you're listening and you're on the treadmill, just like, raise your hand. Nobody's going to know every reason thinking that you're just like getting blood movement to your right arm, right? Like if you're in line at the carpool for your sitting and your commute to work, like tap the steering wheel and be like, yes, I do have a hard time separating my life and my business because there were other people who come home at 5:00 PM and then they were like, I'm not going to think about working until tomorrow in a way being your own boss is a blessing. Sometimes it's a curse because you don't know how to turn it off. But today I'm going to give you actionable steps to setting boundaries in your life and your business. So you can be more present and more productive. I'm going to break up this episode in three parts, setting boundaries with your schedule, setting boundaries, with your clients, in setting boundaries, with your social media for a well rounded look at how to make sure your life and business are integrated in a really healthy way. So grab a pen, a paper, let's take some notes or maybe you just listen to this over and over until it all sinks in. Let's dive in with part one set boundaries with your schedule. Let's chat about three ways to set boundaries with your schedule. Now I have to tell you, my mouth feels really pasty because I feel like I'm having like a flashback to a time in my life where I didn't set office hours, right? We're going to talk about three ways to set boundaries. The first one is set office hours. Now I understand that building and growing a business is like a lot to say the least, Oh , this is a lot of time, money, energy. I believe in a balance of all things when it comes to work life. And I call that integration. Now, I don't ever think it's 50 50. I mean, I could try for it to be 50 50, but oftentimes there's like a push and pull, but integration is all about making work in life, come together in a way that's manageable and feels right for you at that time in your life. Regardless of whether you work a typical nine to five Monday through Friday schedule, or you, maybe you have hours that change by the week, giving yourself and your clients office hours will prevent confusion and keep your work life integration in check. The key to setting office hours with your clients is of course sticking to them. Okay. Now, if you only work certain days a week and you've made it clear to your clients ahead of time, keep your days off sacred and take time to relax and recharge. I have to say that a big, big, big factor in integration between my relationship with my husband and my relationship with my work schedule is really ending my day at six 15. And at that time prior to me having a daughter, my husband said, I need this time for us. And it was something that I really had to respect. And I believe that now, as I am a mother and I'm incorporating our daughter into our life, really setting those boundaries is just as important because I need to make sure that I'm balancing motherhood, being a wife and being an entrepreneur. Now let's talk about the second way to set boundaries with your schedule. And that's decide when you take meetings. My team knows that in our shared calendar, I will block off entire days with the label, no meetings. Now this isn't because I'm trying to be like a diva or I have anything else planned it's because I need to know that one to two days per week is when I complete my work, head down, no distractions, no interruptions. These days are secret to me because it's these days that I feel the most creative and I get my most important work done. And I recommend that you set a similar boundary. You might not take a whole day off. Now, it's going to look different for everyone. Maybe you don't have full days without meetings, but if you decide that your maximum per day is like, I will only do two meetings a day or three meetings per day, or you say, I won't do my meetings past 5:00 PM, whatever it looks like for you experiment and prioritize this boundary because it really is a game changer for productivity. People will sometimes say like, how do you get it all done? When you have a really small team? And I focused on very specific moments of productivity, no distractions, head down, get it done in a very specific amount of time. Now, the third way is that boundaries with your schedule is to determine your days off. I know that those who listen to this podcast, I know you, you're a dreamer. You're a big thinker, you're a hustler. But let me tell you, you have to set a boundary with your business and take a day off. At least at the very least once a week, my dedicated day off is Sunday. I try not to do much if anything, at all, related to my business on Sunday. And I really try to keep my entire weekend free. Like I really want Saturdays off too . I really want to spend time with my family, JD, my husband Luna my daughter, but it's only important if I have like , uh , a project or a speaking event that I know, you know, if I just was able to work on this Saturday, then I could really set up my week for success. And I know that it has to be balanced with rest. I'm not arbitrarily trying to squeeze in an extra day of work on a Saturday. This is if I have a big project, maybe I'll squeeze it in. But every week, Sunday off for sure . And the majority, if not all Saturday as well, I know it seems counterintuitive to rest in order to be productive, but you got to trust me on this one, give yourself a break and you'll come back more productive and ready to work than ever. So that was the three ways to set boundaries with your schedule. Now let's chat about three ways to set boundaries with your clients. Number one, be clear on what they're getting. Client assumptions are one of the trickiest things to manage in business. I don't know about you, but I've seen a lot with entrepreneurs that they think clients will implicitly know boundaries or established parameters to what's provided. And like, you know, this couldn't be further from the truth, but people don't know how many meetings you take in a day. They don't know what time you start. They don't know what time you end. So make sure that you create a list of detailed deliverables, consultations hours, stuff like that, that your client will be receiving and make sure that it's detailed in your contract and stated upfront . So there's no room for misinterpretation. I believe that over communication with a client from the outset, just to be clear what they're getting and what they can expect, it sets up fantastic boundaries. The second way to create boundaries with your clients is to create an email autoresponder . Even if you're not out of the office, creating a simple email. Autoresponder is a great way to reinforce a boundary without letting emotions get in the way, which is key to a healthy business relationship, create something short and sweet that says like, Hey, thanks for your message. And then it should let your clients know when they can expect a response from you. This could be within a certain timeframe or certain days of the week that you check your email. Speaking of email, let's get into the third way to set a boundary with your clients. I suggest giving them one way to contact you. Now, I know this is going to rub you the wrong way, but just hear it out, like see if this fits for you. If your clients have many ways to contact you, it's going to be very overwhelming and intrusive when they need something. So for example, in my wedding photography days, when I had started my business, I set the boundary with my clients that they could only communicate with me via email. And you're like, wait, what? Yes, I did all initial consultations via email. Even if somebody reached out to me on social media, I would say, I would love to communicate with you via email. And I would send them my personal email address. What was I doing from the beginning? I was setting a boundary. I was setting an expectation. And furthermore, I was keeping my communication streamlined because if they email me with their contract and then they're sending me a message on Instagram and then they have my cell phone number. I have three ways to try to track down our communication and keep us tethered. I learned early on, that's a mistake. So by not giving my clients my phone number in the beginning, I was eliminating the risk of being contacted while spending time with my family on the weekend or when I was on vacation. Now, when I actually got very close to the actual date of the event, 48 hours in advance, I would send them my phone number. But prior to that, there had been months, a very streamlined communication to know how they could contact me regardless of how you would prefer to be contacted. I suggest choosing one and sticking to it. And the best part of setting these boundaries is that none of my clients ever complained , not a single one. It's really important to realize that without limits your customers have no way of knowing how you'd prefer to be contacted how often and when they can expect a response friend, there is nothing wrong with putting a line in the sand. You're human and you have a life just like your clients. They'll get it. Let's get into a last and final part of setting boundaries with your social media. Now I know you're going to be like Jasmine. I was with you to here now, sister sledge. I'm not sure if I'm feeling it. Wait, just, just hear me out. Y'all know. I love me some social. Okay. So I am not a preacher as much as I am a practitioner, because if I preach something that I don't practice, I don't want you listening to it. Okay. So let me talk about some personal ways that I've really empowered a positive, healthy relationship with social. Now, a great way to practice work. Life integration is by creating a social media schedule. This allows you to spend focus time on social while maintaining a healthy boundary with your phone. Let's chat about three ways to set boundaries with your social media way. Number one, I want you to create a social media schedule. Yes. I mean, schedule a time to schedule or publisher posts like that . Super meta , right? Like schedule your schedule. Okay. Now whether you choose to post on the fly every day, or whether you like to schedule your post once a week, I want to make sure that you're making it part of your schedule to make sure that you do it consistently. So maybe you post in the morning when you have your cup of coffee, or maybe you decide to plan your post every Sunday evening, before the week starts. You want to make sure that that schedule stays intact. I also think when it comes to creating a dedicated schedule, it's important to make sure that you have separate time to respond to comments and messages like determine how much time you want to spend responding to comments and messages. And then you could set a timer. If you're applied to everything before the timer goes off, I suggest using your remaining time to start engagement by commenting on posts of other accounts that maybe your dream customer is following, or maybe it happens to be your dream customer, or maybe you spend time trying to engage with people who could do a potential collaboration with you. You might want to start with around 15 minutes each day and see how much you get done when you're laser focused. That is the first step to creating boundaries with your social media, creating a schedule. Now, the second way that you can actually make this happen is to use your phone. To help you set your limits for iPhone users. Follow along, bring out your phone, tap settings, screen time , app limits next to the app you want to limit, tap, add limit. So if you don't want to spend more than 15 minutes each day, I'm Instagram limited booboo for Android users. Bring it your phone and follow along. Tap settings, digital wellbeing. Tap the chart next to the app. You want to limit tap, set timer. Okay. So the last and final way to set boundaries with social media might be a biggie for you, but I'm also going to give you a couple solutions. The third way to set a boundary with social media is to take a social media break. I know it probably sounds crazy, but I believe in social media breaks every now and then, but how often you take them, depends totally on you. And there isn't a right or wrong. You might take weekends or holidays off. Maybe you don't like to post while you're on family vacation. Sometimes you just fall off and need to get back on whatever the circumstance is . I understand the need to take a social detox now. And again, in fact, I typically take a social media break every year between December 23rd and January 2nd to recharge. And that's just one that I do in a year. There has been a year that I took for . There was a year that I took to. It really depends on what I'm going and how I want to detach myself from it. Now, if you're like Jasmine, I don't think I could take a social media break. What if I lose momentum? Hey, if you want to try it and I encourage that you do cause it's really amazing. Here are three tips to help you keep your social skills strong while you're on that break. Cebu I'll come on with solutions. Okay? So when you're on your break, I want you to let your audience know you'll be taking a break. If you're planning a social break, that's longer than a week. You might want to let your audience know what you say. Depends totally on you. You don't have to give explanations. Maybe just a heads up. You're going to be away for awhile . That never hurts when you are on your break. Yo take notes just because you're taking a temporary break. Doesn't mean you won't have some really great ideas. I'm going to tell you that. It's when I'm on my break, that I get really great ideas for what I want to do in my business. And unsocial sometimes stepping away is just what you need to get those creative juices going. So keep something handy to take notes, should a content idea to strike you when you least expect it. And if you want to take a social media break and you want to continue posting great schedule those posts, if you have a hard time slipping away, because you're thinking the continuation of the momentum is something you want to keep schedule a few posts in your absence. If that gives you peace of mind, it's better to have a few posts on autopilot than not take advantage of your temporary break. Once you're ready to get back to your regular posting schedule, pick up where you left off don't stress or obsess about performance or insights. Jojo , lots of grace. I am telling you, I have taken lots of social media breaks and I'm your girling broken. Okay? I just want you to get back to serving your audience and doing what you do best in your business and on social. All right . Y'all if you, if you made it to the end of this episode, blessings , just blessings. Cause this was a jam packed episode. I feel like that friend who's at the coffee shop who won't stop talking and you know, you don't , she has the best intentions, but you're like, girl, please let me get a word in edgewise. Oh, okay. Your time to talk Queens and Kings is coming. But before I let you go, let's just recap what we've learned to make sure you feel confident in setting those really important boundaries. Part. Number one, we focused on setting boundaries with your schedule setting office hours, deciding when you take meetings in determining your days off part number two, that's setting boundaries with your clients being clear on what they are receiving, setting an auto email responder and giving them just one way to contact you and part number three, setting boundaries with her social media, by scheduling time to schedule your posts by dedicating time to respond to comments and messages. I also give you a quick way to use your phone to set app time limits. Yes I did. And lastly, I just build a D and how to effectively take a social media break. Oh, we , I hope this episode gave you actionable steps to be more present and productive. Setting boundaries is a great way to prioritize your mental health and make a conscious effort to make your life in business. The thing that you're really proud of and an accurate representation of your values, if you're ready to tackle your limiting beliefs and make the mindset shifts, you need to succeed in business. Cause y'all I just said set boundaries and you're like set schedules, take a social media break, take a social media break. Only take meetings on certain days. I can't do that. Oh, why not? I am here to challenge your commonly held beliefs because what got you to this point in your business, won't take you to the next level. If you continue doing the same thing over and over and over again and expect different results. That's the exact definition of insanity as defined by Albert Einstein, doing the same thing again and again, and expecting something different. What I just proposed to you with a different way to set boundaries so that you have work life integration. And if you're struggling with the belief of that, or even the belief in your ability to succeed, despite the changes I have worked through this diligently over the last five years in my business and I sharing a free resource, a free mindset makeover workbook, it includes five crucial mindset shifts that you need to make to succeed in business. It's a powerful exercise that changed everything for me. And if that's not enough, maybe you want to hang out on video. Yes. I created a corresponding video to watch whenever you're feeling lost or whenever you're just simply doubting the thing that I am prescribing. You can come. A doctor Jay , you are prescription is yo shift your mind and everything else comes into place. You can download everything for free@jasminestar.com forward slash mindset. And you can also get a link for this from wherever you're listening to in the show notes until next time friends. Bye for now.
Speaker 1[inaudible] .