The Science of Belonging (And Why It Can Grow Your Business) with Jon Levy

What happens when you’re invited to a dinner where you can’t say your last name… or what you do? I thought it was a scam—until I met Jon Levy: NYT bestselling author, behavioral scientist, and mastermind behind a wildly powerful community experience.

In this episode, Jon and I chat about why traditional networking is broken, the science of trust and connection, how to build authentic relationships (even without money or a big platform), and what people really remember about you.

If you've ever felt awkward networking or wondered how to build influence without being fake, this one’s for you. 💥

Click >>PLAY<< to hear all of this and:

[04:47] What is The Influencer Dinner — and how it redefines networking

[10:44] The IKEA Effect: Why effort = emotional connection

[14:38] Is belonging actually more important than food or water?

[20:34] Your friendships shape your habits — the science behind it

[25:28] Why your superpower might not scale (and what does)

[31:43] Don’t have a big platform? Host something simple and novel

[47:57] Build trust by asking for small favors — and grow from there

[56:03] Jon’s final message: The world needs your invitation

Listen to Related Episodes:

• How to Create More Meaningful Relationships in Business
• How to Host Successful Events and Build Meaningful Connections

Connect With Jon Levy:

Jon Levy is a behavioral scientist, TED speaker, and author of You're Invited: The Art and Science of Cultivating Influence. He’s best known for curating The Influencers Dinner, where attendees cook together but can’t reveal their last names or professions. His work explores how connection, belonging, and trust drive behavior, relationships, and success.

Website: www.jonlevy.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jonlevy

Book: You’re Invited

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For full show notes, visit jasminestar.com/podcast/episode564

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Transcript

Jon Levy 00:00:01  Oh. Hey, wait, are we going to start with, like, some front stabbing? Like, how does this go?

Jasmine Star 00:00:04  Oh, wow. Well, really starting there. John? Are we really starting there? Wow. That's what we're going to pick up. The edit this guy, before we officially come up live, he's going to be he's going to throw a little quick jab. We're going to get to that in a second. Normally I have a different introduction. But hey welcome to the family. You're sitting at a table alongside of us. My name is Jasmine Star. This is the Jasmine Star show. And I was going to do a very warm and gracious warm up to the following guest, but he came out guns blazing. Yeah. John Lee, thank you for being here today. Jasmine.

Jon Levy 00:00:30  Are you kidding? This is going to be so much fun because I'm going to give you such a hard time.

Jasmine Star 00:00:35  You are, I have no.

Jon Levy 00:00:35  Doubt, older brother.

Jasmine Star 00:00:36  I have.

Jon Levy 00:00:37  No doubt.

Jasmine Star 00:00:37  I'm so. I'm just so happy that you said older brother. I'll take that. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Take that.

Jon Levy 00:00:43  I'm not annoying older brother because my little sister is far more successful. So like the only. The only advantage I have is still being, like, bigger, right?

Jasmine Star 00:00:54  Oh, okay. Ladies and gentlemen, we're starting here. Now, I want to take you back a tiny second. So we're going to like maybe cue a little bit of a storytelling music. So just imagine receiving an email into your inbox. That's from a nondescript email address. And they're inviting you to a small dinner, about 10 or 12 people. But you're not going to know who's going to go to the dinner, and you're going to cook the dinner yourself. And when you get to the dinner, you can't say your last name, and you can't say about what it is that you do or what has made you successful. But this at dinner is called the influencer event. So one might imagine when they get this email, they just immediately delete it because they're trying to harvest my organs or sell me timeshare.

Jasmine Star 00:01:27  That was my first, you know, my first inclination. It was like, oh, well, of course, like, who could this possibly be inviting me to a dinner?

Jon Levy 00:01:33  Name is so like, the name is Cody Smith. Yes. So it sounds like.

Jasmine Star 00:01:37  Yes, the name on the email is Cody Smith. And so you're just thinking, wow, this is just one step away from John. I didn't believe it. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, just if you would like to set up a call with John, the host. And so of course, I Google you and I see that you are a New York Times bestselling author, and you have viral Ted talks and you are absolutely Beyond. Brilliant. This is your younger sister saying something nice. Occasionally it comes out. And so I agree to go to the dinner. And I have to tell you, John. Thank you.

Jon Levy 00:02:06  Oh, it was a joy.

Jasmine Star 00:02:08  Thank you. And so let's start the conversation, John, with what? That editor, I believe it was the an editor had mentioned that she thought she was going to go to a dinner.

Jasmine Star 00:02:18  Can you. Can you give me can you tell that story?

Jon Levy 00:02:19  Oh. So, you know, I've been hosting this dinner for a while, and at the beginning we had a pretty famous journalist come to one of the dinners, and she said I was expecting a phenomenal meal in decent company. I got the exact opposite. So the truth is, it's like 12 people who don't know how to cook. The food's terrible, but the people who come are pretty extraordinary. And so when you sit down to eat after cooking this meal together, you we all played this game to try to figure out what people do. And everybody kind of tries to guess what you do. Did people what did they guess for you?

Jasmine Star 00:02:52  So just imagine we're sitting in this absolutely gorgeous home and we're in a part of Los Angeles called Los Feliz. And if you were to look out just above, you'd see Griffith Observatory. And when we walked out, you would generously open the door and escorted me out to the backyard with, like, these beautiful landscape views of Los Angeles.

Jasmine Star 00:03:08  This is the place I was like, born. And I think to myself, this is absolutely spectacular. Never mind the fact that I'm with a bunch of strangers who I know nothing about. It was just this moment and the gratitude, it just felt very grounding. And so we sit around a table after this dinner after dinner that we are all cooking together. And the way that you have it set up is when it was my turn. People went around the table and guessed who I was or what I did based on 3 to 5 minute interactions we had making dinner. And now John is very particular. I'm actually going to go to page one of this journal, and I had written. You've got to enjoy the good stuff when you can. That was the last thing I wrote at the influencer dinner, because, John, I carry this book with me everywhere I go. And so I just write things and moments and ideas that spark what I will turn into a future blog post or podcast episode. And as I'm writing this, you are in the kitchen and I'm in a back room and I'm just studying the room.

Jasmine Star 00:04:02  And then you say, are you taking notes? There's no note taking here. And of course I'm petrified because, like the type A top student is mortified because she was called out and I was like, okay, I don't know this guy. And I'm getting called out and I'm so embarrassed because I did it wrong. But what am I doing wrong? I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't even know, like what I'm doing here. But I just wanted to tell you that that was the best place to have ended it, because I was forced to be 100% present, but we ended it with, sometimes you got to drink the good stuff. When somebody popped open a champagne bottles and you said, sometimes you got to drink the good stuff. And so today this episode is going to be talking about drinking the good stuff that comes from your brain and comes from human connection. And so I want to start there because I want people to really trust that on this show, I don't bring on just any guest.

Jasmine Star 00:04:47  I bring on people that I know that are doing something very interesting, and that they're doing something that they can take a piece of. And the goal here, John, is not to talk about how spectacular these dinners are or how it's like Fight Club, how you don't know who's you don't talk about it. You know, it's like Skull and Bones like this private society. We're not going to be talking about that so much. As much as we can say, how do we create and foster real relationships that drive our business, but then our life forward as well. And so that's where I would like to anchor. And I just want to say thank you for being here, and thank you for inviting me to this dinner.

Jon Levy 00:05:15  Oh, it was, first of all, it's a blast. And it's also the joy of my life getting to gather people. I you kind of pointed to this, the story you shared about me calling you out. We tend to have this relationship to like, oh, we have to save this special thing for this time.

Jon Levy 00:05:29  And so it sits in a drawer and who knows when it'll ever get used. And my view is that I'm here now with these people. This is the special time. Like, I don't know when I'm going to be gathered with these people again. I don't know if I'll get to see them again. So if we have a bottle of champagne or we have expensive chocolates or whatever it is like, yeah, Have some. Like when else are you going to find an opportunity? The other way we actually would do it is that, you know, when people come to the dinner, I pay for all the food and everything. But we say, if you want to bring a bottle or something, please do. It's not requirement. And so we get a lot of bottles of champagne. So every Thanksgiving we would throw this giant 80 person Thanksgiving and we would try to see if we could drink through several thousand dollars in champagne bottles that people had brought. And we just opened and kept pouring and kept pouring because it should be enjoyed.

Jasmine Star 00:06:22  It sounds like a Scott Fitzgerald novel. Can we drink thousands of bottles of worth of champagne? So tell me, how did it get started? And then what has. So as the listeners are listening, let's contextualize it. Most of us who are watchers and listeners of the show, we are entrepreneurs.

Jon Levy 00:06:36  Oh well, maybe we give them just one more piece of information, please. So when you sat down and you found out who people were, right, that's kind of like this big reveal. And the guests tend to be Olympians, astronauts, Nobel laureates. The occasional member of royalty. Everybody from, you know, hosts of the late night talk shows to female icons that have received the Nobel Prize, to the barking voice of the dog from who let the dogs out. Oh, yeah, that guy won a Grammy for barking, which is crazy. So I've hosted, I don't know, probably somewhere between 36 and 3700 people, 391 dinners. The 392nd is tonight. And 12 cities or 13 cities in four countries.

Jon Levy 00:07:24  And it's just really been kind of the wild experience of my life. And so you asked how it started and what how does this relate to like, entrepreneurs?

Jasmine Star 00:07:31  Absolutely. But I definitely want to pause there because I think that's in my excitement. I don't want to glaze over the fact that there was such a level of intentionality, and it was so, so, so strategic on how we went through the dinner making, how we sat at the dinner, making, how we did our introductions and I will say that. Hand to heaven. I'm sitting in my car outside of the venue and I'm on ChatGPT. What questions do I ask a person without knowing their last name or what they do professionally? Because my default John say, what do you do? It's just a casual starter for me. And so I found it wildly disconcerting and so powerful to sit with people who were so humble, who were hellbent on helping each other and just interested in you as a human, and then to go in and find out that the people who are sitting around this table were so freaking remarkable that we all looked around and we said, this is incredible.

Jasmine Star 00:08:20  And we know that something is changing here. And I didn't go in with a business intention. But later on that night, you invited a group of former former dinner attendees.

Jon Levy 00:08:29  Yes, we have we have an event called Inspired Culture. So my objective in all of this is not just to have a terrible meal and meet interesting people, it's that they connect with each other and really build a community. So to have a community, you need some kind of consistency that brings them back together and feel connected. So after somebody attends a dinner that's kind of like an initiation into the group. Then we have all these other programs and one of them is Inspired Culture. It's arsalan series. And we usually have about 60 maximum 100 people who come. And we then surprise them with kind of 2 or 3 famous speakers or an activity. And so we had New York Times bestselling author who had a show on HBO at Give a Talk. And then we had one of Disney's Imagineers who had invented a new game.

Jasmine Star 00:09:19  We played as a group.

Jon Levy 00:09:20  Yeah. So people were competing in this crazy game, splitting up into groups. But it's lovely because you get like an Olympic fencer and the president of a studio playing alongside an artist and, you know, entrepreneur slash podcaster and, and they're really bonding because what people don't seem to understand is that real relationships don't cost money. We think that, you know. I especially thought this in my early days that if I wanted to connect with the people that I admired most, I have to spend money on bottle service at a nightclub or go to expensive dinners. And I was broke, like I could not afford any of these things. And then I came across my background as a behavioral scientist. And so I came across a collection of studies done by other people that completely changed my entire perspective on everything. And it turns out that do you ever get invited to business dinners? Yes. Yeah. You might really enjoy them. The average business person hates them, right? And that's because it's kind of like saying, Jasmine, I know you don't like my personality, but I have Taylor Swift tickets.

Jon Levy 00:10:30  Do you want to hang out? And we hope that just bribing you for your time will somehow lead you to, like, me more.

Jasmine Star 00:10:39  Right.

Jon Levy 00:10:40  And that doesn't actually work. It works just well enough that people keep doing it because they can't come up with anything better. But what actually works is the exact opposite. And it's called the Ikea effect. And it's that we care about our Ikea furniture because we had to invest effort into it. And anybody who has children or pets or friends in fact knows that it's not despite the fact that we have to invest effort into those relationships, that we care about the person. It's because of it. It's why adopted children are loved just as much as those born to their parents, because it's the investment of effort into the relationship that causes us to care.

Jasmine Star 00:11:21  You said that at dinner, during the dinner, and I adopted my daughter and it just felt so. It felt true and true, and it felt like something that I could truly sink my teeth into, because I would never expect anybody to say that adoption was for them, or that they would feel the same way.

Jasmine Star 00:11:36  I would never even hold that. I'm very fortunate that I married a man who his heart was shaped similar to mine, that we knew absolutely that we could love a child. Period. However, that child arrived in our lives, and so I had a hard time explaining to anybody who would ask, but do you have the capacity to love a child that wasn't biologically yours? And I'm like, well, yes, obviously. And I never needed a rationale, but but to have words around why I can quantifiably say I love my soul daughter, is because of the hard work. It is because of the hard work that makes me just so unabashedly in love with her. And I never thought about applying that lens to relationships that I'm building and even business partnerships. And so thank you for that. And when we now look at the context of us, we don't want to go to business dinners yet. We kind of sort of go to them. How might we as entrepreneurs take some of the lessons that you've written about that you've learned about that you've studied and say, how do we contextualize this for for business?

Jon Levy 00:12:34  Okay, let's let's dive into your question.

Jon Levy 00:12:36  Then I have an additional little thing for you.

Jasmine Star 00:12:38  Let's start with additional, because the thing about your magic is that you just see things from a totally different vantage point. I should also mention, I should also mention John is one of the highest paid speakers you speak at corporate events. You talk about leadership. You have a book that's coming up. We're not plugging the book because I want this conversation to really document where we are at right now, and to talk about the work that I'm going to do between now and your next book and say, what can I do to make incremental change? And then on the next book, implement it, then in a team capacity. Fantastic. So John is a professional speaker, has spoken on the world's largest stages, very prestigious. And so when we have a conversation about John speaking, he spends hours thinking about the words that you use. So if you if you want to answer my question from left field, then.

Jon Levy 00:13:19  So.

Jasmine Star 00:13:20  I've got.

Jon Levy 00:13:20  My I want to reference your your daughter.

Jon Levy 00:13:24  Okay. So there was a wild study done a few years back. Because, you know, when a child is born to a birthing person, right? Like then there's this story that we say, oh, wow, their body floods with oxytocin, the moral molecule that It sometimes calls call or the cuddle molecule and it causes a a. Intense bonding. And so researchers said okay well that makes sense. But what if the child has two male parents. And so what the researchers did was they took oxytocin levels from a gay couple that had adopted a child. And what they found was that the father had just as high oxytocin levels as, as traditionally what's seen in mothers. And so it's not that you actually have to give birth to the child to have that intense chemical, natural bond.

Jasmine Star 00:14:21  Truth.

Jon Levy 00:14:22  It is something that is a human experience, not a purely birthing experience. And so in general, what I would say is that human beings are designed like in our very nature is the need to connect.

Jon Levy 00:14:38  The need to belong. There's a huge argument that says, you know, Maslow's higher order of needs. We need shelter and food and water and all these things. And then up on the top we get to like self-actualization and aesthetics and these kind of larger concepts. Well, there's an argument now running that. Wait, we hear people running away from home in order to belong. We hear people starving themselves in order to belong. Is it possible that for human beings, the base characteristic above shelter, food and water is the need to be with others and to feel part of the group? And I would argue that it is so intrinsic to us that it guides every other aspect of our lives. You look at what influences us as human beings. I would argue it comes down to three things. Like if I'm going to oversimplify, but it's who we're connected to because we can't influence people that we're not connected to. For the most part, how much they trust us. Because if you don't trust somebody, you're not going to consider their view or take their advice.

Jon Levy 00:15:50  And the third is the experience of belonging that you have. So if both of us found out that we were grew up in the same neighborhood, played the same sports, had the same teachers, you'd feel more connected to me. Or if we were part of the same religious organization, you'd feel more connected and thereby more likely to be influenced by me. And so when we look at anything we want to accomplish. You're an entrepreneur trying to raise money. Great. Find the right talent. Fantastic. Sell your product. It comes down to who you're connected to, how much they trust you, and the sense of belonging that you have. And if you can understand those three factors, there is no limitation on what you can accomplish, because almost every problem that we have is not a problem of physical limitations. It's a problem of knowing the right person to get it done.

Jasmine Star 00:16:38  Oh.

Jasmine Star 00:16:39  Yes. Can you say that one more time?

Jon Levy 00:16:41  Almost anything that we actually care to accomplish is not limited by traditional resources.

Jon Levy 00:16:48  It's almost exclusively limited by knowing who to go to and the relationships that you have with them. And here's what's really critical. You know, I don't have billions of dollars or anything yet. I also don't have the aspirations for it. I'd probably end up giving.

Jasmine Star 00:17:02  This as a side note. We're walking through this gorgeous home in Los Feliz, and I turn around and I said, John, this home is absolutely amazing. You're like, you're right, it is. It's not. This is a little too much for me. And I've never met a person. Most of the time the world in which I dwell is, is enough. Is never with a capital E. And so you're walking like, this is lovely, but you know I don't need it. And I thought that was so fascinating.

Jasmine Star 00:17:25  But just the perspective of.

Jasmine Star 00:17:26  The re grounding of what is enough.

Jon Levy 00:17:29  Yeah. Oh my god. Listen, this house was gorgeous. And I should emphasize for those people listening, I don't own or rent the houses that I host this in.

Jon Levy 00:17:37  I used to host in my house. I have two very young kids, so I don't want to wake them up with like clanking of dishes and people cooking, so I don't do it there anymore. But it's all former dinner guests who are really generous and open up their homes to us. And this house was just ridiculous. Yeah. Like it's I would imagine I it's, you know, several, several, several million dollars all that, but also just the amount that it would take to care for it. Like, I, I'd rather be playing with my kids than like, thinking, oh, I need a landscaper and for maids and like, a living like an a chauffeur. Because, like, you know, I don't have the time to take calls, so I can't like all of it would be just more than I want to deal with. When what I love is people, right? And I optimize my life to just try and spend time with people. And what I was pointing to is that what most very wealthy people try to accomplish with money.

Jon Levy 00:18:31  I end up being able to accomplish with relationships because I know and have developed deeper relationships with the people in the industries. And so let's say you are a salesperson, right? You work at a company and you're you're like, my entire life is about figuring out who to sell, what to and developing that relationship. Then your entire life is about knowing how to connect with people, right? You want to get their interest so that they want to engage with you. They often say, oh, I need to get people's attention. You don't want attention. Attention is like a car backfiring. Attention is like landing in page six for an embarrassing moment. You want interest. You want people to see something about you and go. How do I get to meet that person? Oh, my God, they're up to really cool stuff. I'd like to have a conversation with him. Right. Then you want to be able to interact in a way that builds trust in a deep and meaningful way. And then here's the big problem.

Jon Levy 00:19:31  If you're in a really great situation where you know a lot of people, you actually don't have the bandwidth to maintain relationships with all of them. And so the magic is in actually having them all become friends with each other. And here's why. The study that started all of this was a crazy study in the early 2000 about obesity. And the researchers were curious, does obesity spread from person to person like a cold, or is it a percentage of the population like Alzheimer's? Right. To the best of our knowledge, if somebody with Alzheimer's sneezes, you don't get Alzheimer's. And what they found was absolutely shocking. If you have a friend who's obese, your chances increase by 45%. Your friends who do not know them have a 20% increased chance, and their friends have a 5% increased chance. This kind of effect is true for Marriage, divorce, smoking habits, voting habits. All of these factors are contagious. And so I.

Jasmine Star 00:20:34  Was going to repeat this back so that I understand it clearly. So if I start hanging out with a lot of people who've gone through divorce, I'm more likely to get divorced.

Jon Levy 00:20:41  Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:20:42  Wow.

Jon Levy 00:20:44  Now, here's what you want to think about. And of course, it's going to be the case because let's start with food. Right. If you hang out with a lot of people who go to movies and eat lots of popcorn and stuff, then you'll go to movies and eat popcorn and, and if and also then your perception of what healthy changes. If you start hanging out with athletes, they'll say, hey, let's get together this weekend. What do you want to do? Let's go for a ride. Let's go play soccer. And so you end up gaining their behaviors. Then when your friends say, hey, let's catch up, let's go, you know, for drinks on Saturday, you're like, oh, I can't, I have to play soccer on the next morning. I don't want to have a hangover. Let's maybe just go for a nice dinner or go for a walk. And so you can see the contagious factor begins to spread. Now we don't track it.

Jon Levy 00:21:36  We don't think about it. But I was probably 28, 29, I was broke. Like I had no money. You know, a few hundred dollars in my bank account. I would set the alarm for 6 a.m. to go work out, and I'd hit snooze a bunch of times. I was chubby, like, you know, it was. I kept being like, okay, why can't I turn things around? Why can't I just get that flywheel going? And, you know, I'm a pretty smart guy. And so I'd end up beating myself up for not having all the things I should, considering my willingness to work hard and my, like, level of education, like all these things. And it didn't add up and I didn't know what to do. I felt kind of powerless. And I came across a study and I said, wait, I've got this all wrong. If I'm friends with athletes, maybe then I'll just exercise. Like, why beat myself up for not having the perfect habit when I could just gain the habit by knowing people? And so I said, okay, but none of these people want to pay any attention to me or show any interest in me.

Jon Levy 00:22:44  So what would actually cause really influential people to want to engage with me? So I spent about a year researching the behavior of very influential people, and it turns out that they have a lot of social pressures on them, and their social pressures fit into this thing called steam. Everybody wants something from them. They want their social clout as time expertise. Right? Everybody asks you, Jasmine, tell me how you did this. I want to have a popular podcast. I want to have a successful business. And so everybody wants a piece of that. They want your access because, you know people and they want your money, investments or donations or whatever it is. So if all those are your social pressures, then you're going to have protective layers around you. Filters, right. Now how do you get past that? What would actually get you to talk to somebody who.

Jasmine Star 00:23:41  Okay, this is okay. I'll be very honest. I am a chosen recluse. Yeah, because of steam. I keep my social circles very, very, very small.

Jon Levy 00:23:52  Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:23:53  Very small.

Jon Levy 00:23:54  So how does somebody who doesn't have traditional access? Probably even you when you were starting. Right. How do they get to people like you.

Jasmine Star 00:24:04  Interesting. I like this angle. See. See you play the game so differently John. So you asked me how I got access to influential people. And I think that if people did the same thing I did, I would respond to it because it feels very native, like whatever game you're playing, I understand it. I would watch people carefully. And people share a lot through their newsletters, through social content, through videos of conversations. And so I would watch and pay attention to certain nuances. So if they if they happen to like, let's say The New Yorker, I would find an old school cartoon from The New Yorker that related to something they might have written on Twitter. And so I'm trying to create connection points to say I'm understanding the subtext. I'm understanding disparate dots. And let me show it back to you.

Jon Levy 00:24:47  Now here's the the beauty of it that works really well for you.

Jon Levy 00:24:52  It works well for almost nobody else because your superpower is that you. Overprepare.

Jasmine Star 00:24:59  Stop it!

Jasmine Star 00:25:00  It's so true.

Jon Levy 00:25:02  You research, you note, you document, you collect, and then, like, you know, those crazy wired diagrams and, you know.

Jasmine Star 00:25:11  Like, why are you in my head? Why are you in my head, John?

Jon Levy 00:25:13  You know, the movies where you see, like, the crazy person and their string connecting? Yes. You have that in your head for people and everything they've ever said and every comment and you see the connections, but that's your super skills that will not work for your listeners.

Jasmine Star 00:25:28  Gosh, that's so good.

Jasmine Star 00:25:29  Okay, so spill it. What works?

Jon Levy 00:25:31  What works?

Jasmine Star 00:25:32  Because I need it. I need this, John.

Jon Levy 00:25:35  So here's what works. When we understand their their social pressures, we can actually get past them. Because when I understand what is bombarding you, then I can understand then what might appeal to you? What might you get you out of that recluse experience? And so what we need to understand is that there's generally about four things that and this is generalities.

Jon Levy 00:25:57  Right. Are there always exceptions. Yeah. You could say oh John I tried it and it didn't work. Yeah. On that one person. But if you do it for 10,000 it'll work for 9000 of it. Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:26:06  Go.

Jasmine Star 00:26:06  Okay.

Jon Levy 00:26:07  So the most influential people in our culture have experienced it all. Nobody needs another casino themed fundraiser to attend. Or, like, a rubber chicken dinner, right? Like now that's interesting. And there's a section of the brain called the SN VTA. I'm not going to get into details about what that stands for because it just sounds sciencey and intimidating. But it's the major novelty center of the brain. So when you're exposed to something new or novel, then it actually causes your brain to react and trigger the memory sections. So it causes you to want to explore and understand, because when you're exposed to something that stands out as different, you go, wait, what now? And then your brain says, oh, this is different. I need to remember this.

Jon Levy 00:26:52  And so everything becomes more memorable, not just the one thing that's novel. You're just now in a memory state. And so whatever you do, it needs to be fundamentally different than what everybody else is doing. And the problem is that you hear advice on podcasts and you say, oh, that person's successful. I'll do what they did. The problem is that that worked for their skill set at a specific time in history. It won't work for everyone else. And trying to copy. If I tried to copy your skill set, I would fall on my face because I am not doing, you know, 30 hours of research on like. It's just not that's not where my skills land. And your listeners say, wow, that's so cool. And they'll try it once and they'll be like, oh my God, I can't do this. I don't know why she does it. And you're like, I'm loving it. I want more of it. And they're like, oh, never again. Right.

Jon Levy 00:27:50  So what does it mean to do something novel? My dinners, they have a novel design, right? So I'll give you the other characteristics and then we can talk about how to apply it. The other characteristics are generosity. Since everybody wants something from them, I want to give them something greater than what they expect. Like not a gift, like a physical gift, but an experience or an interaction you have to walk out with more value than you were expecting to. And in an ideal scenario, you shouldn't feel like I'm there just to transact. There's nothing wrong with transactional relationships, right? I go to the pharmacy and I buy something, I get it, I'm very happy. I just am not going to have a long term, you know, deep relationship with every employee there. That's not realistic. So the key there is that the context is that I want to make sure you are getting real value. Right. It's not your coming. So I can just sell you something. There's nothing wrong with wanting to sell people something.

Jon Levy 00:28:51  It's just where is the focus? Is it benevolent? Is it on you or is it on me purely for my own good? When people feel that something is for their benefit, then their defenses go down. And I can explain a little why later. The third characteristic is curation. The most influential people in the world. Do you know who they spend their time with?

Jasmine Star 00:29:11  People they that dressed.

Jon Levy 00:29:12  Hopefully. Maybe. Maybe not.

Jasmine Star 00:29:15  But I don't know their admins.

Jon Levy 00:29:18  O their staff and occasionally maybe their family depending on their work hours. You said it yourself. You're reckless. Everybody thinks that influential people spend all their time with other influential people. That's not the case. Maybe like 3%. What does that mean? It's 3% of the time. It means, like, every few weeks they'll go to an event and there'll be some fancy people there. They'll go to dinner with somebody. But, you know, they have families, they have work obligations, they're on flights. It's mostly their staff.

Jon Levy 00:29:48  And so if you can curate an environment with very influential people, they go out of their way for that. You know, Davos, this thing that happens in Europe every year with world leaders, it's in like some super small ultra snowy town in the cold. But the leaders of every major company in the world go there because that's where the leaders of the major companies in the world go. It's well curated. Would it be more convenient to go locally? Sure. But they will spend a fortune and travel very far to be in the right circles. So this means that if you can curate a group of people that are interesting, you do something novel with them, ideally something that requires effort. That Ikea effect that we talked about. Right. And you do it in a generous context. You have a real chance of getting people together and connecting with them. It doesn't need to be huge. It could be four people, five people just having a conversation. It could be going on a hike. So tell me, what's something you love? And also, hopefully your listeners will ask themselves this.

Jon Levy 00:30:53  What's something you already really enjoy doing?

Jasmine Star 00:30:56  This is probably a bad example, but I love reading.

Jon Levy 00:30:58  Okay, so that's not a bad example. Why is that a bad example?

Jasmine Star 00:31:01  Because it's a solitary, solitary exercise. Who says I suppose just my prevailing belief.

Jon Levy 00:31:09  So you're telling me there aren't other influential people who enjoy reading?

Jasmine Star 00:31:13  No. I just assumed that you were going to go to. I see this is what I did, I jumped ahead. I assumed that if I like to go to hike, well, who can I aggregate to go on a hike? And so then, because I said I like to reading, I'm like, do I plan a read a thon with other influential people?

Jon Levy 00:31:25  So there are reading groups where people read for a half hour, an hour, and then they talk for an hour, and you can bring together a group of friends and say, hey, let's do a reading group, let's read this book. It's supposed to be fantastic. Let's we'll sit in silence, we'll have some tea and stuff like that.

Jon Levy 00:31:43  And if you've already read it, great. Then just come for the second hour and we can talk about it, talk about how to apply the ideas, how we could impact each other's lives.

Jasmine Star 00:31:52  Oh my God.

Jasmine Star 00:31:54  That is something I never, I never thought of. And again here again, you just see you see things from a very different perspective.

Jon Levy 00:32:02  But notice people say, oh, it'll cost. I don't have the money to impress these people. When I started, I had a I think it cost $130 for groceries to host 1213 people for dinner, maybe even less back then because eggs weren't as inflated. And maybe it was like it was 15 years ago. So let's say it was 100 bucks. I actually didn't have the money. I charged it to my credit card. Just knowing that, like if I keep doing this, then it'll work out somehow, right? And if it didn't, at least I really enjoyed myself. Because 100 bucks is easily what I'd spend going out for drinks in a night in New York.

Jon Levy 00:32:42  And I was doing something that was much more nourishing for my well-being. Right. Which is quality time with people. And so you could do a board games night, you could do a reading club, you could do a hiking club, you could do whatever you want. I've, a dinner alum who's a major person in the art world and said, you know, after. And I have to emphasize, you want to do something that's different than already exists. You can't just copy Ted talks and expect people to care, right? Because then it's the watered down, third rate version of Ted talks, and nobody wants to be the person giving a third rate version of a Ted talk, right? So you can't copy somebody else's format. You have to do your own thing. And so this guy Glenn, who's just a fantastic human being, said, what we're going to do is we're going to open up an application for people to attend a dinner. We'll cover all the costs. It'll be limited to 18 people, one table, or maybe 16 people in one table.

Jon Levy 00:33:35  And anybody who loves art can apply to attend. You could be 19 years old with no experience, or you could be Damien Hirst. And we will review and have like a diverse group in terms of their backgrounds, experience, all that, and that's who we'll accept and I'll just pay for it. And he said, we did it. It was fantastic. We now have our third one coming up. We love it. And it's just that little effort of having to apply, put in that Ikea effect so people cared more. It took two minutes. Maybe. Even their admin did it. Who knows? But just the fact that there's a barrier thereby makes it feel more cohesive.

Jasmine Star 00:34:14  So when we were at the dinner table going back to the dinner series, and for people who are watching and listening along, it's really important that I want to use the dinner series as a thread, because when I talk about a personal example, it really changes the dynamic and the perspective because there's always three perspectives your perspective of the dinner, my perspective, the dinner, and the people from the outside watching their perspective.

Jon Levy 00:34:37  I'd also argue that you probably have multiple perspectives on it that were like, how's because, can I touch a topic that's going to be a little weird for people?

Jasmine Star 00:34:48  The weirder the better.

Jon Levy 00:34:50  So have you ever heard the phrase, oh, that would be inauthentic or it's authentic or. Yes. Yes. It turns out that doesn't actually mean anything. And the reason is, is that the idea of authenticity came from kind of like West Coast gurus who tried to bring this like unified concept of self. So like, there's one true self, and when you act consistent with it, then you are true to yourself and your authentic. When you act inconsistent with it, then it's not that you acting, it's negative influences from the outside. So you'll hear people saying, I'm so sorry, that wasn't the true me. I would never do that. The true me would never do that. The problem is that it's not how the brain works. So the brain has tons of areas that all have kind of specialties depending on how hungry you are.

Jon Levy 00:35:45  Time of day. If somebody just bumped into you on the street, different areas take over and sometimes you are the delightful human being you are. And sometimes you put me on the phone with customer service and they're annoying. I become a terrible human being, like just awful. I'm embarrassed for how terrible of a human being I turn into. All of that is me. I might not like parts of it, but it is literally sections of my brain. There is no unified self. We haven't found one. There's no evidence that there is a unified self anywhere. It is sections of the brain that might get triggered and you get scared. And so you get defensive or others that are feeling very pro-social, that are have taken over because you're well fed and you have all the calories you need. And because of that, then there isn't like a pure simple this is how I actually feel about something. We'll often have warring perspectives on things. In fact, the closest we can find to an authentic self was a really funny study.

Jon Levy 00:36:46  A group of people were sat around a table. They all had a conversation. And then let's say we were two of the people at the table. We would all rate ourselves and each other on our level of authenticity. And here's what's interesting. my number for myself would not match the numbers given by other people. Great. Maybe that's true. Maybe I'm less authentic than I thought I was. But none of their numbers matched each other either. There was no unified number like, at all. And what that suggests is that the perspective of authenticity sits in the viewer, not in the individual. Meaning there isn't a me being authentic or not. It is. Do you view me as authentic? Oh, and what defines that is if I fit the narrative that you have for me. So if I fit the narrative, you go, oh, that was authentic. I'll give you a simple example. When Apple advertises privacy, where Apple or privacy do you say? Yeah, that makes sense. Yes.

Jon Levy 00:37:50  Yeah. Because they've pissed off every company out there by increasing privacy. So you'd say, oh, that's authentic. That's true to Apple. When Pepsi had Kylie Jenner solved the Black Lives Matter movement in an ad, people said this ad made me stupider because it has nothing to do with our narrative of either Kylie Jenner or Pepsi.

Jasmine Star 00:38:11  Right.

Jon Levy 00:38:11  And so when something doesn't fit our narrative, we say it's inauthentic. And so if somebody meets you and they go, well, that's not, you know, internally they might not be even acknowledging it. But that doesn't fit my perspective of how a woman of color living in the US lives. So like that. But that has nothing to do with you as an individual. And so when we talk about having a perspective, we probably have multiple perspectives on stuff. There isn't like some unified thing up there.

Jasmine Star 00:38:42  And the tie that is binding this in a much deeper way is when we were sitting at the table, we had the table go around and guess what we did?

Jasmine Star 00:38:51  Yep.

Jasmine Star 00:38:52  And this goes back to the narrative that we are construing on our own based on very limited information. Yeah. And one of the things that you had said during that introduction area was after everybody went around, you had to introduce yourself. But we had a discussion around what is humble or modesty. And you had said, I want you to introduce yourself in a way that would make my Jewish grandmother proud. Yeah. Like, what are we going to say here? That we don't want anybody to perceive that we're into ourselves or we're very egotistical, but do it for my grandma, essentially. So I actually never gave you the opportunity on the show to give a grandma a Jewish grandmother worthy intro of what it is you do. That's because my intro was thrown off, Jon. You know.

Jon Levy 00:39:32  To my fault, because I started off.

Jasmine Star 00:39:34  But you did it. We'll probably look back to it. You might look into it.

Jon Levy 00:39:36  So you want me to give a Jewish grandmother an.

Jasmine Star 00:39:40  Introduction of yourself so that you can actually be like, I want you to brag in such a way that she would just, you know, say something in Yiddish and kiss you on both sides of the cheek and say.

Jon Levy 00:39:50  My grandmother would have spoken Yiddish. She spoke eight languages, but not Yiddish.

Jasmine Star 00:39:53  Oh, wow. Okay. Okay.

Jon Levy 00:39:55  Or seven? Whatever.

Jasmine Star 00:39:56  One for seven.

Jon Levy 00:39:56  Languages. So my name is John Levy. I'm a behavioral scientist. I frankly don't get to do much research, but the most famous study I did was, the largest study in history on dating, which was kind of cool. So we found out what actually causes people to date. And basically the reasons that people want to date somebody is that they remind them of themselves. So we're very egotistical. It's called implicit egotism. down to your initials, if you have the same initials I have.

Jasmine Star 00:40:23  And when you say that at dinner, I have the same initials as my husband.

Jasmine Star 00:40:25  Of course.

Jasmine Star 00:40:26  Of course you do.

Jon Levy 00:40:27  So if you have the same initials, you have an increase of 11.3% chance that you'll date. I wrote this is my second book. You're invited. It was a New York Times Wall Street Journal bestseller. Wall Street Journal's Book of the month, Wall Street Journal's Select for one of 12 books to read for a smart year.

Jon Levy 00:40:43  Apparently, the Journal likes it. It was also USA like it hit all the lists in short. International bestseller. It's in a whole pile of languages. I don't know what else would I say? I thing. Oh, yeah. Ted. Speaker. I think I'm probably one of the highest paid non celebrity speakers out there, meaning that like, you know, there's celebrity authors and celebrities and stuff like that, and they but I the reason is that I treat my speaking and I'm very proud of this, the way that an Olympian treats their sport. So I out prepare, outthink out practice out everything anyone I know. Hands down. And I think all my contemporaries would really agree. And then I have a really extraordinary life because people keep cooking me terrible food. And I, I'm really proud that I've, I've created this community. But it's by many people's account, the most successful secret, private, exclusive dining. I don't know what to call it experience in the world. And I get a lot of joy from connecting people.

Jon Levy 00:41:47  So, like, it's, And if I were to call one out on myself. All of it's probably because I grew up so unpopular. I don't want anybody to feel disconnected or lonely.

Jasmine Star 00:41:58  So can I go back to my notebook? Okay. So one of the things that I did was while I had my notebook before we sat down for dinner, I used the ladies room and I washed my hands. And then I immediately started taking notes and I wrote to myself, why is John doing this event? Because in there's an economic principle that I learned in high school and it's an acronym, Tim Stoffel. There is no such thing as a free lunch. And it really shaped it's like this core thing that I just can't forget. And so the lens in which I view a lot of things, unfortunately, is okay, but what's the angle here? And so I wrote why is John doing this. And your two words were because I was lonely and awkward. Yeah. And I wrote in my notes.

Jasmine Star 00:42:33  John's doing this because he was lonely and awkward. And then I see somebody where I definitely feel lonely and awkward most of the time. But it's self-imposed and I'm sure as a recluse. And I thought to myself, if this person identified as once was and now is something different, I wonder what it might look like. And unbeknownst to me, John, I don't know if it's because I wasn't told or I just don't pay that much attention. I didn't know that there was going to be a salon after the dinner. And so there was 12 of us at this table. And then you say, okay, there's a group of a group of people who are coming and there's a salon. And so then everybody's walking in. And the thing about you is everybody's on time, John. Everybody's on time, and everybody brings a bottle of something and everybody's there. And I have to say, John, I didn't know what to expect. But the way that I had described it, I called JD when I left to drive.

Jasmine Star 00:43:18  I'm driving home and I said it is like the most Uber successful, mind blowing, hippie commune style event I have ever been to because nobody was there to talk about how impressive they were. Although in all forms of the world they would be like, yeah, I won a Pulitzer. Oh, I am the inventor of Newsies, the Broadway musical.

Jasmine Star 00:43:38  These are playwrights. These are people who changed American.

Jon Levy 00:43:41  How cool is it that that it was a couple and they actually wrote on Tarzan and they wrote they wrote Tarzan. I think they wrote the large portions of The Lion King. Yes. They don't. Yeah. No.

Jasmine Star 00:43:53  I'm not allowed. Am I not allowed to say? I mean, we had Bob, Noni and Bob. So here is why it was so fascinating. They are, dare I say, a bit older than I am. They come from a very different generation. And while we would think we had nothing in common, Noni and I start start talking and she's saying about how she was recording some of her legacy work.

Jasmine Star 00:44:13  How did they come into becoming co-screenwriter? And Bob is a professor at USC still, and they were talking about documenting what their process was. So years ago they had recorded some video recordings. And she says, you know, there's this platform and they want to sell it as a course and it's going to be a revenue share. And I said, no, any say less. This is my world. Like, this is what I do. Let me talk you through the structures. Let me tell you all the things. And then I'm telling her how to import her contract into ChatGPT and ask it questions around what about her IP, how is it protected? And so she's in it. She brings Bob in. And so all of that to say this hippy commune of wildly disparate people doing their own things are meeting here, and the whole intention is, well, what are you doing? How can we help? Who can I connect you to? And so I say all of those things because to see somebody who once identified as awkward and lonely and then to do this very thing.

Jon Levy 00:45:04  You know, just.

Jasmine Star 00:45:05  Awkward.

Jasmine Star 00:45:08  So somebody's listening and they're going to be going through and they're going to start asking themselves. And I want to make sure that I drill down a point that anywhere in the world I can be in Conway, Arkansas, and I might not be a person of influence, but if I really wanted to connect with people in a specific industry, or let's say I want to change local government, that even if I wasn't involved with local government, even if I didn't have a lot of money or resources, that I would be able to aggregate local government officials or sure, and simply say, I'm going to host something that's a little atypical, drive a lot of value, be generous and say that in addition to every person who attends, I will make a local donation to a community event or a community fundraiser.

Jon Levy 00:45:49  And if you don't even have the money, then don't like what? You have to understand the first thing is to get people's interest. The second is to build trust quickly.

Jon Levy 00:45:57  How do we build trust quickly? The Ikea effect, right? We find ways to get people to invest effort into our relationship.

Jasmine Star 00:46:04  How do we do that?

Jon Levy 00:46:05  Jasmine. Do you have a favorite book?

Jasmine Star 00:46:07  Oh,

Jasmine Star 00:46:08  Very hard to pick, but one comes to mind. Yes.

Jon Levy 00:46:11  Yep. Is it this one? It better be this one.

Jasmine Star 00:46:13  Yeah. After you.

Jasmine Star 00:46:14  Were invited by John.

Jasmine Star 00:46:14  Levy.

Jasmine Star 00:46:15  Yeah. It's the book thief.

Jon Levy 00:46:16  Fantastic. That's you investing effort into our relationship? I. So researchers had people stopped on the street and asked for really complex directions, and they just didn't get them. But they then had people stop on the street and ask for the time. And once they got the time, they asked for the directions. And they got them almost every time. And that's because one time scene is worthy of some effort. I'm seen as worthy of more effort. So instead of.

Jasmine Star 00:46:42  Approaching.

Jasmine Star 00:46:42  Once, I am seeing worthy of some.

Jasmine Star 00:46:44  Effort.

Jasmine Star 00:46:45  I am then seen worthy of more effort.

Jon Levy 00:46:49  Yeah, sometimes it's called the Franklin Effect or the Benjamin Franklin Effect, because Franklin's father told him he who has done you a favor once is more likely to do one again versus one who has not. Right. And so my objective when I meet somebody is to find an opportunity to get them to invest effort into me and me back to them. And what we are often scared is that we're interrupting people's lives or we're bothering them or adding complexity. Yeah, that's what it is to be human. We love our children because of the inconvenience that they are not despite it. We have close friends because we've invested effort. And so if I wanted to connect with somebody I would find a way to get them to invest even a small amount of effort. So what might that be? That might be asking their opinion. Can I ask? You know, I really care about local government. Is there a favorite book that you have on how I can affect it?

Jasmine Star 00:47:57  So good.

Jon Levy 00:47:58  Or I really care about having an impact on the community.

Jon Levy 00:48:01  Who are the three people I should talk to? Right. Then you look them up and say, wow, they're really interesting. Would it be too much of a hassle for you to connect me with two of them? Right? Or one of them? Or this one? So suddenly they've made a recommendation. Small effort. Introduction. Now, the person that they introduce you to will see it as a warm connection, rather than the cold call that you just had on the first person. So suddenly you're much closer to the inner circle, at least one step closer. Right.

Jasmine Star 00:48:30  That's so good.

Jon Levy 00:48:31  And so if some random person were to email me and say, hey, who are three great podcasts? I put you on the list and they say, hey, I find it. Like, I just binged like five of her episodes. She's fantastic. I have a quick question. Could you connect us now if I send you an email being like, hey, this person wants to connect with you, how much warmer is that of a tenfold?

Jasmine Star 00:48:54  Yeah.

Jon Levy 00:48:56  So now you begin to see that very little effort turns into getting closer to the inner circle. Now what? I'm talking to you, and I'm asking your opinion and all that. Now your investing effort in the relationship, then I can say, hey, this is really fantastic. I'm thinking of gathering a few people from the industry for a games night, a potluck of whatever, right? Can I put you on the invite list? Yeah. Great. So now let's say I do that 20 times. I end up with a list of 20 plus people, plus the people I knew beforehand. And then I invite all of them. I'll maybe end up with five people. Great. Five people. We all go on a hike together. Talk about the industry. We're all sweating together, putting in effort. Maybe we go to an early morning gym class. Maybe we do yoga and Pilates. Maybe I'm a yoga instructor and I lead a yoga class for everybody. Right? It's. I'm doing the things that I already care about.

Jon Levy 00:49:59  What are those things? I'm connecting with the people that matter. And I'm doing activities that I already like. And so it's much simpler. It's the human stuff that matters, right? We try to make it all complicated. Like, I'm going to go on LinkedIn and have a bot and randomly message a thousand people through the bot and alienate them, and they'll wonder why I'm contacting them, and then LinkedIn will block me. So now I have to find like no, talk to people.

Jasmine Star 00:50:26  On that note, as we come to a close, one of the things that I said on my ride home from Los Angeles was how you made me so much more conscious of the words that I use. Oh, I am a shoot from the hip kind of girl. Yeah. And I take deep pride in it. And I stand by, you know, I mean what I say, I say what I mean. And not getting into the specifics of the story. The one nuance had a fundamental energetic shift in my whole body that night.

Jasmine Star 00:50:54  And I said a thing that I often say, and that's like an enemy will stab you in the back. Yeah. And a friend will stab you in the front. And 20 minutes go by.

Jon Levy 00:51:04  Let's give them a bit of context. I was, I've been working on a new talk on a very contentious topic. Yeah, right. It's like something that everybody has an opinion on. And if not delivered well, can really have a strong emotional response from people. And I said, people ask me about it. I said, okay. I'd be happy to share. But please understand this is in like pre workshopping phases. I can share the ideas, but I really ask for some grace and I welcome feedback. I shared some ideas and you had a very strong opinion until you said this. And I was like, okay.

Jasmine Star 00:51:45  And and after I had said it, the only thing I felt was just just regret. I felt deep, deep regret and I kept on. We were cleaning the kitchen, and the only narrative I had in my mind was, why can't you just shut your mouth? Why can you not shut your mouth? And the internal dialogue was that.

Jasmine Star 00:52:04  Listen. I said what I said because I deeply care for somebody, and I simply want them to have the strongest presentation possible. And if he gets my opinion and throws it in the trash and disregards it, it doesn't matter. I'm just saying somebody who deeply cares about this very generous, kind human being, I'm going to say it. And my, my, my thing was, hey, I could have not said anything. And that's like letting you go in front of people and then.

Jon Levy 00:52:28  Yeah, falling on my face or worse.

Jasmine Star 00:52:29  Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:52:30  And, and and I just said, just let it be. Just let it settle. Like, shake it off. Like you said what you said in a deep form of care. And about 15, 20 minutes later, you're like, hey, let's have a chat. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God. First it was The Notebook and I'm writing in the notebook. And next I got a chat with the principal and it was anything about that John was anything but that.

Jasmine Star 00:52:50  It was so light. It was so casual. You're like, Stabbing. Stabbing is like a hard word, like stabbing in the front. And I was like, oh, well, I suppose it was just figurative. It's just, I want to say something to you like, let's go take a walk. I need a pen. And we're walking and we're talking, and you're finding a pen, and you come back and you're like, oh, there's probably better ways for us to say exactly what it is you're saying without it being.

Jasmine Star 00:53:12  Perhaps.

Jasmine Star 00:53:13  Physical or violent. And I shook my head and I was like, yes, yes. You're like, why don't we try? Why don't we try thinking of something that we could say instead of those things? And you had said, John, can I apply a little bit of pressure to that? And I will tell you, John Bricks came off my shoulder. I said this man. Kind, good, strong and honoring. So thank.

Jon Levy 00:53:38  You.

Jon Levy 00:53:39  Thank you. It's been a real joy getting to know you. And I look forward to many more terrible meals with you.

Jasmine Star 00:53:46  I'm going to hold you to that, especially if I'm the one cooking. I could not be more thankful to loop the conversation there, because right before we were going to go live, John had said, oh, so are you going to stab me in the front? And I just I'm not sure if the mics had picked up. I hope they did. I hope they did. Cause I was like, you know what? We're gonna come back to this because I believe that life is a series of full circles. And so I look forward to creating more concentric circles with you in this amazing community. But more than that, John, I hope that what you shared to other people has empowered them to go out and start creating their own real connections, real connectivity, to go out and change the world from their perspective in their way. How do people find out more about you and follow on this amazing journey?

Jon Levy 00:54:23  Oh, wow.

Jon Levy 00:54:24  So, I mean, I'm more than happy to share my ideas. I'm the easiest person to get Ahold of, so LinkedIn is probably the only place I really share and you can go to my website. John v.com. I have several books. I've one about the science of adventure of this one, and then I have another one coming out in October, October 7th. And other than that, I frankly more so than following me. I'd rather people just, like, text a friend to hang out or write. We're like, in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. We need people. People are struggling with a lot. You want to hear a crazy stat? We were at an all time low in 1985, when the average American had about three friends besides family. By 2004, 19 years later, less than a generation, we were down to about two. And it's gotten so bad now that 15% of all men in the US have zero friends. And that's really rough, because when you look at the things that predict how long we live and our general health, it's.

Jon Levy 00:55:29  our connections and the number of people we come in contact with. If you want to look at the workforce, you can kind of predict a company stock value and employee sick days and profitability based on how connected or trusting the company is. And so if with everything going on right now, we just really need each other. So if you're going to do anything besides buying a million copies of my book, go out there and find a friend, you know, be open to chatting with somebody. Host people. Bring them together. Gather. Celebrate. Drink the good stuff.

Jasmine Star 00:56:03  Yeah, the good stuff when you can. Let's uplevel. Let's build some trust with John. Text a friend. And if you happen to meet them in person, snap a selfie. It doesn't have to go anywhere except perhaps to John's LinkedIn. Just drop it there and say thank you for how you've impacted us. John, thank you for how you have impacted me. John levy.com. Thank you for watching and listening to The Jasmine Star Show.