The Jasmine Star Show

Breaking Up with Perfectionism to Scale Your Life

• Jasmine Star

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Let’s talk about the unspoken epidemic hitting high achievers: perfectionism, scarcity thinking, and the belief that our worth is tied to hustle.

In this episode of the Jasmine Star Show, I sit down with powerhouse coach and recovering perfectionist Keren Eldad—and y’all, it’s the permission slip we didn’t know we needed.

Keren has coached world leaders, Olympians, and 8-figure entrepreneurs, and guess what they all battle? The fear of not being enough.

We unpack the adversarial mindset that equates pressure with performance—and explore how ease can be your edge.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, obsessed over “getting it right,” or mistaken anxiety for ambition… this one’s for you.

Keren doesn’t just drop gems—she drops frameworks. Tune in to rewire your patterns and lead with clarity, not chaos.

Click play to hear all of this and:

[00:02] Why most high achievers operate from scarcity (even if they don’t know it)

[00:55] “Do you view the world as abundant or adversarial?” – the question that changes everything

[04:11] Why letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean losing your edge

[06:02] The dark side of hustle culture and how it nearly made Keren quit her own business

[07:35] Why most perfectionists don’t think they are (and how to spot it in yourself)

[09:57] The real reason we resist rest (and what to do about it)

Listen to Related Episodes:

Connect With Keren Eldad:

Keren Eldad is an executive coach, speaker, and author specializing in high achievers who look great on paper but feel like something’s missing. Her work has impacted world leaders, elite athletes, entrepreneurs, and C-suite executives. Known for her clarity and compassion, Keren helps overachievers drop the hustle and reclaim joy, success, and personal alignment. Her coaching program and upcoming book, Gilded, explore what happens when performance masks pain—and how to break free.

📧 Join my Newsletter for a weekly cocktail of insider business strategy, personal reflections, and the journey of being a thought leader: https://jasminestar.com/newsletter 📧

For full show notes, visit jasminestar.com/podcast/episode570

Jasmine Star 00:00:00  Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show, where I couldn't be more thankful and totally inspired to introduce you to a new friend. But she's just a new friend. In real life, I have been absolutely deep diving, completely overdosing on all this amazing goodness. This is going to be an extension of conversations that I've been doing as a deep dive. Now, if anybody's noticed here on the podcast, 2025 presented itself with a lot of new opportunities. And the new opportunity for me was not just to document the journey, but to be open and document the journey. So as much as I tried denying it, as much as I tried putting it away, what I wanted to do was talk about the evolution of myself as an entrepreneur, get things out of my way, and open up myself for new pathways of growth, which is why I could not be more excited to have a conversation. Oh, actually, I say more excited. I'm going to be excited when it's over. Right now I have look, I literally have chills because I'm like, oh, we're going to have some real conversations around high achievement.

Jasmine Star 00:00:55  What pushes us perfectionism, perfectionism and getting look at. Look at that already. I said perfectionism already I'm correcting myself. I'm not going to be perfect. I'm not going to edit that out. We're going with it because I am sitting with the one and the only. Karen, thank you and welcome to the Jasmine Star Show.

Keren Eldad 00:01:11  It is a pleasure to be here with you, my friend.

Jasmine Star 00:01:13  Oh, I'm so happy right now. Before the cameras turned on, you had said, Jasmine, I'm a slow talker. And I was like, you're right at home, Karen. I want you to be 100% you. I want you to work your magic. And so sometimes my personality is big, and so I don't want to over jump a conversation. I'm going to be your student today. So on that note, I was really intrigued because I had heard that one of the first questions that you asked during your coaching sessions. And we're going to get into your introduction in your backstory, but first, immediately, I love to start the shows by saying, why should somebody watch what's going to be in it for them? But when I first cued up and I said, oh, this woman's different is you said one of the first questions you asked during a coaching session is, do you view the world through abundance or an adversarial perspective.

Jasmine Star 00:02:00  As in, I'm going to go and get it or there's enough. Why do you start with that question, and how does it frame when you start working with an entrepreneur?

Keren Eldad 00:02:07  Because it gives me basically everything I need to know about them first. Most are under the delusion that they are actually looking through the lens of abundance. Most people who arrive at my coaching have been through some form of gateway drug coaching, like Tony Robbins, or have read some self-help books. They are familiar with the concept and they see themselves as optimistic. And by the way, behaviorally, the high D high in the disc profile, which is the vast majority of my clients, are optimistic. They are on the more enthusiastic side of the spectrum.

Jasmine Star 00:02:37  Okay. She works with describe the the quintessential I know I've worked. I know you've worked with world leaders and athletes and celebrities and mega entrepreneurs. And talk to me about like the traditional scope. Like who is the person normally who walks through the door?

Keren Eldad 00:02:51  Yeah, well, they're high achievers and high achievers.

Keren Eldad 00:02:53  Just so I'm really clear, can also mean super obsessive moms. There are people who are hyper focused and intense in any dimension of their life. They have a little bit of obsessiveness, and that's what they all have in common. Whether you're a world leader or a special ops person or other form of politician or Olympic athletes, I've coached a lot of C-suite executives and a lot of founders, but I've also coached a lot of regular people. I consider myself a normie overachiever, but very, very hyper focused or obsessive in some way. And that brings me to the worldview that's really dominant. The worldview that's really dominant is that I see the world as adversarial. I see resources as scarce, and I see myself as in competition with time and with others, which actually rigs the game against you. The value of today's episode is us being able to tell the truth about what this competitive mindset, the hustle mindset, the hard working mindset, the immigrant good mindset actually does and how to correct that so you can have a much easier time with your business and with your life.

Jasmine Star 00:04:01  Okay, so sometimes I'm the voice of the people. And so when you say that to correct that, sometimes I think that my edge is that. And so if I corrected it, do I lose my edge?

Keren Eldad 00:04:11  No. You're making it a binary choice. This is classic scarcity thinking. Classic scarcity thinking is if not this, then nothing. But there's like 10,000 shades of gray there. You won't technically become lazy, you'll just become gentle. There's a very big difference between perfectionism and high standards. Now, as you can obviously see, I have high standards, but they don't hurt. If I showed up two minutes late today, I wouldn't beat myself up. I would apologize if I send out an email. I write my own newsletters with a typo. I'm proud of it because you can tell that an I didn't write. I'm not going to beat myself up for it. If I miss a workout, I'm not going to beat myself up. Perfectionists do they really do think that once you get basically lower the pressure on the gas, you're actually letting go? When the opposite is true, you're actually becoming more efficient.

Jasmine Star 00:05:04  And you're speaking at this from a really real, raw place because you are a recovering perfectionist.

Keren Eldad 00:05:10  Recovering, and that means lifelong struggle. I have accepted this. I like to say that I wanted to call my book Gilded Workaholics Anonymous. All of us. I don't know, for me, I don't know what it's like for you, but if I start reorganizing my shelves, I will do that for four hours.

Jasmine Star 00:05:28  I'll do it for four days.

Keren Eldad 00:05:29  Yeah, literally. Like a reorg of the closet. Yes, honey, I will see you tomorrow. And this is the rest of my day. And I don't know how I fall into those rabbit holes, but it's never enough. So you really have to learn how to work against these patterns. Now, let's talk about this in business. My first big break in business was 23. Still very recent. That was the first time we broke seven figures. Instead of thinking, okay, great, let's parse this out, let's solidify this, let's systematize this like a real business person.

Keren Eldad 00:06:02  I went, just keep opening the floodgates, let it come in until I'm so overwhelmed and my assistants overwhelmed. And my director of operations is so overwhelmed that everyone, including myself, is saying, we're going to quit. Shut it down. I don't want to do this anymore. In other words, we just don't have that valve. And so the real, the the real goal of gilded is to show you that rushing for the wrong targets and playing the adversarial game is ultimately going to wear you down. You are actually going to be playing not to lose. You're going to be playing a mediocre game rather than playing to win. Playing like a superstar.

Jasmine Star 00:06:36  Okay, I want to pause here because I want to go back to adversarial because I would never when you when I heard you ask this question, I would never immediately identify with myself with I'm choosing or I subscribe to an adversarial mindset. But I also knew at the same time I didn't subscribe to a fully abundant mindset. And when we talk about perfectionism, I would honestly people think that I'm so self-aware and self unaware.

Jasmine Star 00:07:02  If they were to say, oh, you're a perfectionist, I would say, no, I'm not. No I'm not. And I think that after digging into your work, you were asking very specific questions that had said, you're just a perfectionist in disguise. Exactly. You're identifying something else. Okay. So we're going to come back. We're going to come back to that. But what I want to do now is talk a little bit about your story, because somebody's watching and listening right now and they're like, I'm not adversarial. I believe that things are abundant. I am not a perfectionist. And so I really just would like to use those examples to actually get to the truer part of what might be getting in our way. But before we do that, I want to hear your story.

Keren Eldad 00:07:35  Yeah, I'll tell you my story, but the first thing I'll say is, how's that working for you? Well, you're not in the middle of a smack dab, absolute dream life floating down a river.

Keren Eldad 00:07:44  Then, technically speaking, there's some scarcity working out and there's no shame in the game. The only shame is if you stay there and don't look at it. You already talked so deeply to just last couple of episodes, Doctor Natasha and Peter Crone, that I already can see where what you're up against, what perfection is sort of Damocles.

Jasmine Star 00:08:02  Oh, okay. Okay. This is the thing with having your content out there.

Jasmine Star 00:08:06  So, so so Karen came. Karen came. She left. She she picked up what.

Jasmine Star 00:08:11  Doctor.

Jasmine Star 00:08:11  Natasha.

Jasmine Star 00:08:12  And Peter Crone put down. And now what she's doing is she has all these insights into me. And so what I'm feeling right now is, oh, my God, this might be very uncomfortable. And oh my God, I'm ready for it. Because what I've realized in both that Peter Crone and the Doctor Natasha episode is the feedback that people had given to me had simply say, let yourself be shown because we're learning in the process of it. So while I don't want to do that, I'm going to open myself up to do that with Karen.

Jasmine Star 00:08:36  But before we do that, thank you for the space to do this. Thank you for seeing me calling me out and not letting me squirm. And so that is 100% for me. Put your foot on that pedal. I'm ready to be open and I'm ready to learn. But before I do that, I want to hear more about your story so that the audience can can jump in and see where you're coming from.

Keren Eldad 00:08:56  Well, I'm one of those people who did everything right. I'm Ben before you hate me, please listen. And it ends well. I'm normal. I, I was just raised to be a good person and a really good, diligent student. So I understood how linearly life could be played and what I was going to be rewarded for. And I've also been born with a lot of the faculties that align with that. So I was always a straight-A student, and I became an officer in the Army. Then after the Army, I got a first degree at a very fancy school and then of second degree at a very fancy school.

Keren Eldad 00:09:30  Then I married a very tall man, which, as we all know, is the holy kahuna of all aspirations for for women. And then I got lucrative jobs, mostly informed by my adoration for the movie The Devil Wears Prada. And there I was, in a cutthroat industry, rising up the top, doing everything right and dressing appropriately. I don't think I ate since 1994, so I managed to stay trim too. And everything was just checkbox after checkbox. But after that marriage, I found myself in a city I hated Zurich. I'm a New Yorker. Anyone who's been to Zurich will understand the distinction. And living with a man who was abusive. And in the unraveling, because almost all my life started to feel stale and stagnant. I'm in a pile of basically everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever been told to want, everything I've ever been told to do. I just can't deal. I also have such a severe invulnerability problem. It's so hard to admit that the pictures you see on Instagram are nowhere near the truth.

Keren Eldad 00:10:32  That I have nothing to. No one to share this with. And so one day, after a robbery in my house where I discovered, by the way, after filing the police report that he had also not paid any of our bills. You're you're my ex-husband, my now ex-husband. I found myself in the shower, Colombian soap opera style, sobbing and thinking that maybe my only way out of this is to kill myself. Which is a very unusual thought. Until now, I've been a suicide counselor for so long, I realized how common this is and how much more aggressive this is for high achievers. We really don't know where to go. And that was when I started to really open up to, okay, I've done something here. Now, by the grace of God, I decided not to take my life in that shower. I snapped out of it and I remember only having one thought. And that was this ends now. The way out of that would be years long, but I'm glad I took it.

Keren Eldad 00:11:25  I burned everything to the ground. I actually continued the lost streak. All my things were lost in a fire. My cats died within two weeks of themselves. This was the worst year of my life. But I like to say that this was the year that allowed me to break open and actually do something with this life.

Jasmine Star 00:11:41  What year was.

Keren Eldad 00:11:42  That? It was 2012.

Jasmine Star 00:11:44  And so you find your way back to New York City?

Keren Eldad 00:11:47  Yeah. Can't find a job. For seven months, the industry has started to die. While I was away, the publishing industry sleeping on friends couches. Which is very humbling. In your 30s. I think it's very humbling at any time, really. And basically spending a lot of that time in books, the self-help books that I had rejected in my academic, snobbish past. I was reading everything from Steven Hobbes The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People to eventually in 2015. You are About by Jensen zero. This is the years long process where I basically just start hustling my way back to life, right? Like odd jobs and more jobs and new jobs and different attempts at starting a business.

Keren Eldad 00:12:32  But all that while I'm using all of the money that I'm making on self-help and on I'm coaching. My life completely changed by 2016. Then I started to think.

Jasmine Star 00:12:41  Can I pause.

Keren Eldad 00:12:42  And.

Jasmine Star 00:12:42  Ask a clarifying question? So 2012, you make the decision that this ends now, not your life, but the former Karen of that time. That version is done in 20. And so then we flash forward to 2016. So do I hear it correctly that for four years it was a process of becoming the new version of you with different jobs and self-help and, and so during these four years, are you ever comparing yourself or wondering, like the academic, the straight-A student, all this, like, how are you working through that?

Keren Eldad 00:13:12  I wasn't thinking that my friends were. I was already deep in the I mean, really, from the moment I picked up Stephen Covey's book, I started to change my perspective and have greater and greater clarity and greater and greater compassion for myself. Then I start hiring coaches.

Keren Eldad 00:13:27  I definitely start developing serious compassion chops. At this point, I do have a lot of friends who say things to me like, are you okay and you need any money? And my old boss called and said, would you like your old job back? Everybody felt very, very sorry for me. The way they saw me was kind of like a tragic downfall. And all I could think was, I'm out of that marriage. I've got my life back. I can start over. I'm brave. And I did it. I made it to the other side.

Jasmine Star 00:13:56  So what happens in 2016?

Keren Eldad 00:13:58  2016? I started to write. I didn't really understand what I was doing, to be honest with you. I was writing in bed. I had already started like four different jobs so that I could stay afloat and pay for my fancy apartment and Soho House memberships, which were always standards. my idea of a broke person is a little different, I guess. And, that's when I really started to come home from work and write.

Keren Eldad 00:14:25  And within two weeks, I realized I had a program. Essentially, what had happened was I understood because I'd taken 26 coaching programs by then, what was wrong with them just because of the way I think? What wouldn't work for a person like me? And I understand my archetype very well, high achievers very well. And so I started to put it in the right order, and then I started to write it the way I'd really like to teach it through my own story. That becomes live with enthusiasm. Then I have a great idea. Let's get a film crew here and record this. And I did, and then I downloaded my entire LinkedIn list. You could do that in 2017, just so you know, you could get all their emails. And there were 500 of them, 5 or 600 people total. I put that not in ConvertKit or MailChimp. I don't even know if they existed. Then I put them in my email as a BCC, like the biggest BCC of all time, and I wrote an email saying, I have this program and I'm really excited about it.

Keren Eldad 00:15:22  It changed my life. This is the exact formula through which I changed my life. I'm willing to coach six people. If you're interested in this spot, let me know. I sold every single one out in 24 hours. Wow. A business was born.

Jasmine Star 00:15:36  Okay, so I'm going to peel back because this is not part of the conversation, but I only ever think in terms of business. So what you did. I'm going to repeat it back. You went in as a market consumer and then you noticed unintentionally and then later intentionally, the market gap. And you said of all the offerings out there, I'm not going to be one of many. I'm going to have a hyper specific focus on high achievers. And so you went to where you thought most high achievers dwelled, and who you could speak to specifically and understand that my archetype will align with that archetype. And so you're going to speak to your former self to catapult them to where they aspire to be by a framework through your perspective. And you sell six spots to 500 people in less than 24 hours.

Jasmine Star 00:16:17  And a business is born.

Keren Eldad 00:16:18  A business is born and that starts the referral process. And then also like six is nothing. So I start to realize how much more I can sell within a year. Because again, I'm also a very different behavioral style than most of the overachievers I coach, I don't just jump into things. I had a full day job that was paying all of the bills, was paying for all the marketing was. I was never stressed out about money, which is really important because it's the biggest business killer. And within a year and a half are the coaching business overtakes everything else that I'm doing. And I can easily just go. All right. Done. Let's go with this.

Jasmine Star 00:16:51  It's beautiful. So that's the origin story and your perspective. Yeah. Now, what I want to know now is after all these years, there's been there's been, you know, starting from 2016, 2017, 18, 19, 20, you have a breakthrough in 2023. Yeah. Before we get to the breakthrough in 2023.

Jasmine Star 00:17:08  Talk to me about the people that you're coming into. And if they're coming to you, high achievers who will likely probably not be telling other people that they feel stuck or something is misaligned. Talk to me about the common patterns that you have seen through high achieving entrepreneurs, why they intersect, and who we might be able to help right now on the show.

Keren Eldad 00:17:26  Well, the biggest thing to understand this. And this is for all entrepreneurs. All entrepreneurs are naturally going to be rather obsessive. That means their targets are off. Now, you don't understand that your targets off because you think your targets are very, very good. But for example, for almost all businesses, the main targets are significance and certainty, also known as money and status. And these are targets that we all, we all have to a certain degree. It's not unique to high achievers, it's just that high achievers have been way too obsessed with them for way too long. Now, in the entrepreneurship game, obviously revenue and bottom line is very significant, but so are all the other numbers.

Keren Eldad 00:18:02  And when we are already primed to being obsessed with the numbers, we overly focus on the numbers. As I coach people who are starting their business and they say things like the number of sign ups and the number of likes on Instagram, and I don't have enough followers, and I really am just with lots of love and lots of due respect, saying you're looking at the wrong target. The real target is to become exceptional its mastery in your own domain. This takes time. There is nothing you can do about that. That's also why nobody can take it away from you once you've attained mastery. I understood that in my first years, Jasmine. The only thing that really mattered was learning how to be a very good teacher. Really understanding material, really understanding content, and coming up with new and original content and original ways to teach people who were not understanding things through the normal filters. In other words, they have different configurations. And I wanted to make sure that I knew how to answer their configurations.

Keren Eldad 00:19:02  Can I apply.

Jasmine Star 00:19:03  Pressure to that, though? Sure. Okay, so I think that defaulting is as high performing entrepreneurs, we focus on numbers because numbers are real. Now I, I agree the targets are off, I totally agree. But then when you go to something esoteric like the real target should be becoming exceptional and obtaining mastery. That's so nebulous. Like, how does one realize I've obtained mastery?

Keren Eldad 00:19:24  I am mastering is putting in your 10,000 hours. It means doing what you are doing or the service you're providing or creating the product you're creating 10,000 times. That's what's going to collect mastery for you. Now let me be clear. I understand no money, no business. Right. But that doesn't actually necessarily mean no millions, no business. It just means your goal should be no plan B, which means you will do anything to support the mastery. You will do anything necessary short of a lack of ethics to support your mastery. And that's basically it. That meant that I knew that I would continue to have four jobs until the coaching business took off properly, and that I would continue to find the funds to invest in my skill for as long as it took.

Keren Eldad 00:20:10  And I started to remove all the scarcity swords from above my head. It has to be this way, but in three years it has to be this way in six years, etc. etc.. No, my goal is to just have a great business that I love and that serving people. That's it.

Jasmine Star 00:20:26  I have to say thank you because literally on the drive here to the studio I was making, I have like the the ticket in my hand and I'm like, do I pay to go to this event? And it's literally in a week and the flights are bananas expensive. And I'm just like, I'm not sure, I'm not sure. I called JD and I'm like, what do you think? Do you think I should go? And then what you just said right now, anything necessary to support mastery? And all of a sudden it became so clear. Yeah, I absolutely need to make that investment. I absolutely need to be there. I absolutely need to find a way to make it work, because that's the only thing necessary to support the mastery.

Keren Eldad 00:20:56  And by the way, this is why I'm such a diehard for coaching. I keep telling people this is not an expense. This is not a this is a necessity. This is an absolute necessity. Nobody should think about this. I don't know from my client's experience, but from my own experience, my life would not be the same. I would pay this a thousand times. So?

Jasmine Star 00:21:15  So then so people come in and you notice their archetype and obviously you're attracting the former.

Keren Eldad 00:21:20  I assess for archetype. I don't trust my instincts.

Jasmine Star 00:21:23  Do you find do you find that you are attracting basically the person who you once were?

Keren Eldad 00:21:28  It appears to be okay.

Jasmine Star 00:21:29  Yes. And so then what are those? What are the similar patterns? Somebody who's listening right now. Are they identifying as a as an archetype who you're.

Keren Eldad 00:21:36  Well, the archetype can be described in behavioral terms. They're very fast paced. They're very task oriented. They're extremely influential. In other words, they're friendly. And most of them are talkative, sometimes to an overbearing degree.

Keren Eldad 00:21:48  They're quite overwhelmed because of their perfectionism. They can't usually see their perfectionism as a flaw, but it's actually what's causing them to do other things behaviorally, like harsh self-talk and harsh talk towards other people, or harsh standards towards other people. This is also creating communications issues, and they're wildly reactive. The vast majority of them are reactive, and they're reactive in two ways. By the way, it's two sides of the same coin. Either they're completely in recoil, they're in analysis paralysis Hell, or they're the kind of people who are land on you on like a sumo wrestler, as I like to say. In other words, you didn't even touch them and they're like, boo in your face. So preemptive striking or analysis paralysis are just two sides of the same coin. They are tactic of retaliation and they're because of fear. And that's basically it. That's what's happening. What's happening is they're competitive and they're competitive because of unresolved anger. I can and I will. Energy is anger. I used to have that too.

Keren Eldad 00:22:49  I either I became old or I became enlightened. But it's gone now.

Jasmine Star 00:22:54  So who is your anger directed at?

Keren Eldad 00:22:57  I really don't think it was anything in general. It was probably. I mean, my biggest core value is feminism. So it may have been about the systemic masculine imbalance in the world, but I really can't think of anything with which I was angry, other than this sense that all of us have, that we are powerless, and the sense that we all have, that we are powerless, makes us look for power externally until we realize that that's a losing game, and that the only way you can ever find is inside by renouncing that.

Jasmine Star 00:23:27  So if somebody is listening now and they feel powerless, how do they objectively and concretely feel or choose to believe that they are powerful?

Keren Eldad 00:23:36  They make the decision to go for peace and they be easy on themselves. This is easier said than done, but the cultivation process is the process of self-compassion, which is really different. It's not an action or a doing.

Keren Eldad 00:23:51  It's an active decision that you deserve peace and an operation from there. If you're at a negotiation or you're in a conflict and your agenda is like, really like, I want to get this thing and you just make in that moment the decision, what's my fastest way to peace? You resolve the issue. It's exactly the same with tickets next week for your event. What if the premise is what is my fastest way to peace. What is the most likely outcome that will drive better, peaceful results in my life? Makes everything much easier. You've got a 12 step program here to help you get there though.

Jasmine Star 00:24:30  And for people who are listening, she pointed to gilded, her book that you can find anywhere that books are sold. And so I'm going to repeat back what I think I heard, because it feels like my brain just kind of did like a flip. If I feel angry towards a person who doubted that I couldn't do it toward a thing, that life was unfair toward a group of people, let's just say a group of people who did me dirty.

Jasmine Star 00:24:54  Okay. And then that anger is there. And that's the thing that's catapulting me and pushing me. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, I simply say, I am going to find peace, and then I'm going to be a better verb. Like I'm just.

Keren Eldad 00:25:06  Usually going to trigger different thoughts. Here's the deal. If you decide they did me wrong and I'm going to operate from there, I tell you right now, as a person who's been in a lot of conflict negotiations, tell them you have diarrhea. Go home. Nobody's ever going to ask questions. If you say you have the area so you'll be able to just get out of there. Nothing good will come of that chaos. If instead you think I deserve peace, there is a peaceful way to resolve this. There is a way to come out on top that is around them. That is not about what they're doing or what they did. That is literally just about me getting the outcome that I ultimately desire. You will then start to spawn new thoughts that will get you to where you want to go without making it personal, without making them the issue.

Keren Eldad 00:25:51  That's pretty much.

Jasmine Star 00:25:52  Good. That's good. And so one thing that I want to do now is I want to make this. And again, I'm going to apologize to the audience, but I'm doing this because people have given feedback that like the Jasmine when you personalize it. So this is the thing I don't want to do and this is what I'm going to do. Okay.

Keren Eldad 00:26:07  So way to break through that upper limit.

Jasmine Star 00:26:09  I thank you baby. Thank you I received it, but I can only do that in a safe space. And you are that safe space. And I've done a lot of work. I've done so much research about you. So I knew immediately that this was going to be a safe space. And so when we're talking about high achieving, it's crazy because yes, I identify as a high achiever, but I wouldn't say like I'm the high achieving of high achieving. And I do believe that's probably because of the people I surround myself with. I surround myself with a lot of high achievers who are doing, who are working more, doing more, being more, far more objectively on the totem pole that we know we shouldn't place ourselves on.

Jasmine Star 00:26:39  I could just simply say they're doing a lot more, and then I wouldn't necessarily identify myself as a perfectionist. But after going through a lot of your work and reading your book and I'm like, okay, I'm kind of disguised at this, but yet even that I wouldn't say that I'm a ten out of ten perfectionist. So that is like the majority of the people who are watching and listening. We know that we started a business, so we obviously are achieving in some capacity, and we know that we have a striving towards excellence. So we do kind of hinge on that perfection. But we're not like way on the outside. So for the vast majority of us in that center of hold, how do we start making small tweaks to actually move closer towards a healthy version of ourselves.

Keren Eldad 00:27:13  Okay, so the first thing is the first step in Alcoholics Anonymous. Okay. And that is admit that you have a problem. You see, what you're doing is bargaining. This is very classic, right? I'm not really like that bad.

Keren Eldad 00:27:24  And I don't think like it's a huge problem. So I can just deal with it. When people say that to me about their marriage, I'm usually sitting there going, You're sitting on a landmine, buddy. In other words, something is off. So the first thing is to admit that you don't have things under control fully, and that you actually aren't in the complete dream manifestation of the life. And the dream manifestation isn't just look at my business and look at the size of my amazing wall of successes. It's literally, how do I feel? How do I feel in the business? Am I waking up satisfied? Am I waking up eager for the day? Would I do this if nobody paid me? Is this truly so joyful and expansive? Is everybody around me not just an overachiever, but delightful to work with? Now, a lot of the overachievers that I coach, for example, use very similar teams to the teams I work with. You know, virtual assistants, for example. They have very different results.

Keren Eldad 00:28:17  This is a question of the ease with which you are operating within yourself. This is not a question of whether the team is good or bad. So you have to start understanding and owning it and really admitting that not all that glitters is gold. And not everything that you see on Instagram is true. This is a very, very big deal. If you can already do that. And that's what the recovering overachiever in me is constantly doing. In other words, in 2023 when I went no, make it stop, I had to go, oh, I messed up, didn't I? Okay, let's retrace our steps. That brings us to step two. Step two is stop lying. Just completely stop lying. Be completely vulnerable. Be completely transparent. This is what didn't work. This is what we did wrong. I am exactly like you. And that in that sense. Except it's not on a podcast format, but with my clients. I sit down and I go, here's how we messed up.

Keren Eldad 00:29:09  Here are the five things I clearly was thinking in the wrong way. Here are the ways I reversed this. Here's what the results were. And that's pretty much it. When you stop lying, you can then become tactical. And here's the third. The third step. And I'm abbreviating several segments of the book for people is remember your why many times because we are overachievers. Because we are sensual creatures who love Birkin bags. We forget how exciting it is to do this. How? What a privilege it is to do this. When fatigue sets in, it means that I have done too much of the nonsense and too little of what lights my soul on fire. And so my job from that point on will be to really get back to this. I'm pointing at Jasmine for those for listening.

Jasmine Star 00:29:58  Okay, so I was writing down what Karen was saying. And if you happen to find yourself as you're watching and listening to, you're saying, well, I know I'm a high achiever, but not like crazy.

Jasmine Star 00:30:09  And I do have perfectionist tendencies, but it's not too much. Number one, just admit. Admit it. Number two, ask yourself how you feel if you are not in direct alignment, and you know that it is not lighting you up from the inside out. It's time to do some work. Number three is ooh. And this one, it kind of like, scratched at me when you said stop lying. And I was like, we're not lying, but omission. Yeah, omission is a lie.

Keren Eldad 00:30:36  Did you read The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck? No. It's breathtaking.

Jasmine Star 00:30:39  You love it. I'm going to do that.

Keren Eldad 00:30:40  Definitely texting you that book. Thank you. In one of the chapters, she literally opens by saying, stop lying. And I got so mad I slammed it shut. And then I went, oh, oh, I gotta look at this. Of course we are. A lot of us get so back into the ego that we form a completely new identity around the new level, and we don't even notice this just taking a new form.

Keren Eldad 00:31:02  It's just a new identity. It's just another pile of lies, another pile of beliefs that are serving you at this level. You have to start asking yourself, what do I really want? What do I truly deserve? And in order to get there, the only way to truly unravel that next level is to just stop and unravel this level.

Jasmine Star 00:31:23  And after you do that and you embrace vulnerability, you have to remember your why. And here's the, the really good news is prior to the cameras turning on I was talking to Karen and she had said one of the greatest wins for her would be for you to be able to book a call with her, a free call. And you can go to coach Karen k e r e n coach. Karen, can you tell us a little bit more if somebody gets there? Yeah. What are they thinking feeling. And then when they book a call what do they expect?

Keren Eldad 00:31:51  Well, they should expect me. That's the most interesting thing. A lot of people are like, oh my God, I didn't think it was actually going to be you.

Keren Eldad 00:31:57  It's me. And we're going to spend 30 minutes talking about you. I'm going to understand what's going on and do my very best to offer you some clarity, some visibility, and some resources as quickly as I can. It's an absolute joy to do this, I believe. I promise you, when I get tired, I will stop and, that's it. That's pretty much the that's the nature of the exchange. People love talking to me about coaching. I'm always happy to describe the process as well, or how it works with me and to take it the distance.

Jasmine Star 00:32:25  Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for watching and listening to the Jasmine Star Show. The reason why I decided to get into Coach Karen's work was because I wanted to self-identify a lot of the things that she had spoken out. She also has a podcast. Do you want to shout out your podcast?

Keren Eldad 00:32:39  Yes. Coached with coach Karen.

Jasmine Star 00:32:40  Coach with coach Karen. Thank you for watching and listening to The Jasmine Star Show. And if you'd like to spend 30 minutes one on one with this brilliant, kind, amazing human, that was why I brought her on the show, to help you get to where you want to go through a navigated, good, kind conversation with somebody who's absolutely brilliant.

Jasmine Star 00:32:55  Thank you. If this show meant anything to you at all, how can people find you on Instagram if they're watching? Have them give you a little task. Karen at coach.

Keren Eldad 00:33:03  Carrie. Also following Jasmine Star just like this.

Jasmine Star 00:33:06  Thank you again for watching and listening to the Jasmine Star Show.

Keren Eldad 00:33:10  Oh, I should do this for a living. Hey, this is my husband, JD. No, it's nice to meet you. Oh, it's so great to meet you. Share this. To get a cat for Luna. Will you stop? Oh my gosh. You should, you should. I'm just letting you know. You should get to. You want to know what your sword of Damocles is? Because you didn't ask. Know what? Urgency. Oh, you're playing against time. Like always. My mom got sick, too. I know.

Jasmine Star 00:33:41  So what's what's the.

Keren Eldad 00:33:43  The decision that you're going to die very late. Like me at 107 and you have all the time in the world. Watch what happens to your game.

Jasmine Star 00:33:52  Why does that make me want to cry?

Keren Eldad 00:33:56  Good. I hit a nerve.

Jasmine Star 00:33:58  Big time.

Jasmine Star 00:33:59  Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:34:00  Wow. That came out of nowhere. Were we recording Gabe? Yeah. Oh, God. Well, we'll add that.

Jasmine Star 00:34:06  As a surprise bonus.

Keren Eldad 00:34:09  Hey, I'm just saying, I've listened to a lot of your episodes. The speed is your problem.

Jasmine Star 00:34:14  What do you mean?

Keren Eldad 00:34:16  You should learn to slow down.

Jasmine Star 00:34:19  You know? You know, that feels like poison to me.

Keren Eldad 00:34:21  I know, I know. My rabbinical tone must be irking you, too.

Jasmine Star 00:34:27  No, no, no, because it's very wise. It's very wise. It's. It's not.

Keren Eldad 00:34:30  And I'm telling you, the the the antidote is to slow down and enjoy this. I hope that helps. And Martha Beck's book is the bomb man. Unbelievable. You'll love it.

Jasmine Star 00:34:47  Thank you.

Keren Eldad 00:34:47  That's a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you so much. That was a real honor.

Jasmine Star 00:34:50  She's good. She's good. J.D. got a little teary eyed.

Jasmine Star 00:34:53  He did?