Burnout, Visibility, and the Power of Owning Your Voice | Powerhouse Women Panel

Ever felt scared to put yourself out there or wondered, “Who am I to be visible?” This episode is for you.

Recorded live at the Powerhouse Women event, this panel conversation dives deep into the emotional side of building a personal brand. Joined by Krista Williams (Almost 30) and Lori Harder (Earn Your Happy), we talk about showing up online—even when you’re tired, scared, or doubting yourself.

You’ll hear how to reveal the next version of yourself, navigate judgment (especially your own), and create content from overflow—not obligation. We also share practical tips for batching content during high-energy moments and honoring the seasons when you need rest.

If you’ve been holding back or waiting until you “feel” ready… let this conversation be the push you didn’t know you needed.

Click play to hear all of this and:

[01:12] Why this panel offers a unique perspective on personal branding and online visibility

[02:02] What it means to reveal the next version of yourself—even when it’s messy and uncertain

[05:35] Showing up consistently online during seasons of self-doubt and burnout

[07:12] Navigating burnout after a big launch and staying aligned with a larger mission

[08:27] A practical strategy for batching content during high-energy creative moments

[10:40] Letting go of judgment and embracing unapologetic authenticity

[14:10] Cultivating the audacity to be seen and confidently ask for what you want

Listen to Related Episodes:

• How to Create a Community That Sells For You with Lindsey Schwartz

🎤 Guest Information:

• Lindsay Schwartz – Founder of Powerhouse Women, host of the Powerhouse Women Podcast, community builder and event visionary who creates empowering spaces for ambitious women.
• Krista Williams – Co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and author of “You’re Not Almost 30.” She’s known for her vulnerability, post-divorce metamorphosis, and helping women navigate transformation.
• Lori Harder – Serial entrepreneur, founder of Lite Pink, and host of Earn Your Happy. Lori brings deep wisdom and raw honesty around building businesses from personal pain and turning it into purpose.

For full show notes, visit jasminestar.com/podcast/episode588

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If you’re ready to build a website that works FOR you—and not against you—head to JasmineStar.com/showit for a 14-day free trial + first month free when you subscribe!

Transcript

Jasmine Star 00:00:00  Do you want to know how to ask for what you want? How to deal with rejection if you don't get it? Do you want to know how to put yourself online without overthinking it? I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to The Jasmine Star Show, where I empower entrepreneurs to scale from 7 to 8 figures. And today we're going to be talking about doing that in a really special way, because you're not going to hear it just from me. You're going to get the answers to these questions and so much more. But let me back up for a second. I was invited to speak at an event called Powerhouse Women in Scottsdale, Arizona. It was hosted by my sweet and wonderful friend Lindsay. She is founder of Powerhouse Women and she has these live events. She invited me to come and speak on what she was calling a Podcast Entrepreneur panel. I was joined by incredible people. You're going to hear all about them as we move into their intros in one second. But before we do that, I want to talk about why this panel and why I'm sharing it on the podcast is it had a very unique view of creating content in a way that is building out a personal brand, as well as building it out for a business and how to deal with judgment online, how to deal with judging ourselves, how to get feedback from people when it's welcome and unwelcome, and a lot more.

Jasmine Star 00:01:12  Other juicy tips in finding ways to batch create content, and showing up on behalf of your business, and using and creating your own marketing to buttress the thing that you want to do. So if that sounds interesting, and I know it is, and we're just barely scratching the surface, this is an entirely different look on how I show up on stages, because most often I am speaking as a part of a keynote. Here we have this really great vibe with other people on the panel. I know you're going to love it. Let's dive in.

Lindsay 00:01:37  You know, obviously we've all evolved. We're constantly evolving. So who are you today? What version of yourself do you want to introduce and tell us a little. Obviously the name of your podcast as well. I'll start with Jasmine.

Jasmine Star 00:01:48  My name is Jasmine Star. I am the host of the Jasmine Star Show, and just two days ago, Lindsay and I were texting and she was talking about this event. And I just want everybody here to know she has put her heart and soul in this event.

Jasmine Star 00:02:02  She has been thinking about you, your experience and what you're going to walk away from. And I just told her, Lindsey, the word that comes to me as you prepare for this event is reveal. It will be revealed. And I feel very proud to say that the version who I am today is I am revealing the next version of myself in all of its ugly beauty, and I am okay with that. So thank you for holding space.

Lindsay 00:02:26  Haha. You just said reveal and I was like and I am revealing a little fanciful side. You're like you want more from me, you know?

Jasmine Star 00:02:34  Hi guys, I'm Krista Williams, if you got the VIP bag, you just.

Lindsay 00:02:37  Got.

Jasmine Star 00:02:37  My book. I'm a new author. Yes. You're not almost 30. The book still applies. Don't worry. And I'm also almost 30. But on the other side, and I would say the phase of life that I'm in is post metamorphosis. I went through a divorce and a lot of really hard things in the past couple of years, and now I just feel like in my my butterfly season And it feels so good.

Lindsay 00:02:59  So so good. Beautiful butterfly you are. Hi everyone.

Lori Harter 00:03:03  I'm Lori Harter and I'm so excited to be here. You know, I feel like we all get to have an event because Lindsay is bold enough to put this on for all of us to have a stage. So I'm always so grateful to sit and cry and watch you up here. So it's I've cried like five times. Anyone over that number? Okay, great. I still have some way to go. I would say the version that is sitting here. Oh, man. She was hard earned through some major darkness in a lot of pain. And I am so grateful for it. And I would say that the version of me is becoming more audacious and unapologetic, and I think that that allows us to really step into our most authentic selves, and we can just let go of what everybody is thinking.

Lindsay 00:03:49  Yeah. Which is the perfect segue to the topic that I had in mind for this particular group of women. And it's a topic that in every single group that I mentor in so many of the community conversations, I think is always an area that I hear you and me wanting to deepen.

Lindsay 00:04:10  And it is the audacity, if we will, to be seen and overcome the fears that can come along with visibility in order to get your message out there, in order to make the impact that you're really here to make. And I think along with that comes just this freedom and self-expression to ask for what you really want. Would anyone love a breakthrough in any of those areas today? Yeah. Anyone feel like you've experienced a little bit of a breakthrough in those areas already? Just walking into the room. Okay. So I'm going to start off with a question around visibility. And when we hear about creating content, you know we're in this content driven society. We all have podcasts that we publish content on different platforms. You know, showing up consistently is important. But I mean, I can say like for the last year, it just was not possible for me to show up as consistently as I was putting pressure on myself to show up. So what is a practical strategy that each of you use and will kind of just go down the line in the same order, even when you're feeling insecure or feeling vulnerable? Or maybe you're in a season that you're like, I just don't got anything to say.

Lindsay 00:05:21  And I feel like, Jasmine, you are someone who I really look up to in this way, that you are so consistent with how you show up and serve your audience. What does that look like in a season where you're just like, not feeling great about yourself?

Jasmine Star 00:05:35  Well, the reminder and just the truth of it is it's not always easy and it hasn't ever been easy. When people look at something and think that looks easy, it's because that person has put a lot of time and work and energy behind it. But to be totally honest, I had the opportunity to speak to a few of you before I stepped on stage and we all stepped out there in line, and there were people who came up and said, just thank you for your podcast. And what I heard was a deep resonance of saying, you got out of your own way when you didn't want to do it. I can't tell you how many times I don't want to do it. Posting content. Most days I don't want to do it.

Jasmine Star 00:06:14  I don't want to create content. Most days I don't want to write. I don't want to speak to empty rooms. I don't want to create podcasts that nobody listens to. I don't want to write newsletters that very few people open. And yet I do. And I did, because I got out of my own way so that we can connect and you can see what's possible for people who don't want to do it. And then we do it anyway.

Lindsay 00:06:39  It's so good. Krista, what does this look like for you? Because you just came out of a big season. A book launch is like content creation, visibility on steroids. It's like the Super Bowl.

Jasmine Star 00:06:52  I took a month off and watched Love Island.

Lori Harter 00:06:54  So.

Jasmine Star 00:06:55  My that was my burnout treat. I was like. A new episode is out in the villa, so I was taking my time. So I honored that, you know, to be honest, it was a really busy season launching a book. Anyone here want to write a book? Yes, maybe.

Jasmine Star 00:07:08  I mean, okay, I saw this, maybe this, if you want to write.

Lindsay 00:07:11  It the best.

Jasmine Star 00:07:12  Yeah. Lock that elbow I got you if you need help. But it's a big season. It was super busy. We were doing the most. And I knew that I could do the most because I was going to honor the rest after the fact that I didn't want to be visible. But when I'm scared of being visible or putting myself out there, I have to remember that my calling cannot be governed by my circumstance. What I came here to do cannot be governed by me feeling sad, me feeling ugly, me hating my outfit. Me being tired. Like when you are aligned to a bigger mission to serve, to a bigger mission for whatever it is that you want to do, it makes everything make sense. I'll be like, oh, I don't want to show up. I don't want to do this. And it's like, it's not about that. It's about what I'm here to do from a mission standpoint.

Jasmine Star 00:07:54  And the second thing that I'll do is the practical point. I'll create tons of content when I'm in the mood. You guys know those times where you're like, I'm vibe today and you're.

Lori Harter 00:08:04  Just.

Lindsay 00:08:04  Like, no, I was.

Jasmine Star 00:08:05  Like, the hair is herring, like the light is lighting. I am like in the mood. I will just go create so much content. It'll be like eight hours. I'll just do everything so that on the days when I don't feel good, maybe I'm in my luteal. Maybe I'm, you know, just not feeling it. I can rest and chill. So practically, it's really great to just go for when you feel good and use that momentum to create all of the content that you can match.

Lori Harter 00:08:27  Okay. I think that the one of the very magical things about being in rooms like this and also having friends like this up here and having clients. How many of you have coaching clients or are in groups or masterminds or things like that? That is such a super power.

Lori Harter 00:08:42  Most of you raised your hand, so when I don't feel like making content, I borrow other people's stories. So that's one of my tricks is to really think about, okay, what did we talk about in that group? What is someone really dealing with right now. Because it doesn't always have to be things going on in your life. You know, when you're going through something, it's like you feel like you're pulling out of every hat and nothing is coming. It's like the well is dry, you have nothing. So I've always gone into other people's wells, like, what are they feeling? What are they talking about? How could I maybe talk into that and what they're going through? So I'll borrow people's stories all of the time. And also I think when I'm really in it, when I'm really struggling with something, I will not tell the story because I don't necessarily feel ready to tell that story yet, or I'm still really in the in the center of it. But what I will do is kind of talk around it and just say, hey, I want to be really real with you guys.

Lori Harter 00:09:39  And I think that's been a superpower of mine, is honestly, having the podcast has forced me to be really authentic because you can't be inauthentic authentic after eight years of having a podcast. You guys like you eventually just start going, well, here's where I'm at. Like, here's what happened today. Here's the stuff that happened, here's what's going on in my life. But I kind of like will dance around that and share it. And I think that is I honestly think that's why every single woman up here you're resonating with is because we will bring you on that journey and just go, okay, if if I'm going to do anything today, like if I have to do this podcast, who could I talk to? Who could I just be so real with and say, this is actually what's happening in my life? And I think it's so powerful when we're there. I don't want you to skip over it because, you know, I can I can go and listen to Jasmine's like, best work all day long.

Lori Harter 00:10:32  And is it going to shift me? Absolutely. But I actually want to hear when she's in the muck because that's when it resonates the most with me. That's when Chris was like, oh God, this is like so hard. And she's sharing that and doesn't want to talk about it. That's when we feel the closest because those are such human things. So I think instead of feeling like you have to show up perfect or do the perfect content, sometimes the perfect content is when you are right in the mud and you're sharing exactly where you're at.

Lindsay 00:11:00  Yeah. So good. I feel like the only thing I want to add to that is for those who are like, really in it, in it. I remember it was early June last year, and I was starting to realize that this season was going to really ask me to slow down more than I ever had before. It was before I really let myself fully come undone. And I remember I booked a two day podcast shoot with my team, and I kept telling myself, I'm like, if I just batch enough content, I can go away for the whole summer and just heal and take the space that I need and not be ready to talk about it.

Lindsay 00:11:35  I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Everything that was going on in my personal life, and that was something that showed me the resilience that is required in order to, to grow the community that I know I want to grow. And I let it be okay that it felt good to continue being consistent with the podcast, but I let it be okay that my personal social media was going to become kind of a a graveyard, right? It's like, where is she? You know, just let them think that you like, you know, you just are coming back with like, Taylor Swift with a new album or something. Like she just is so mysteriously disappeared. Let them wonder. But I let it be okay. Ask myself. I was like, where is it important for me to be consistent no matter what? And how can I set myself up? How can I ask for help? How can I batch ahead to then allow me the space to truly grieve? And I'm so proud of how I was able to do that, because for the most part, until I was ready to share, no one really knew.

Lindsay 00:12:34  Like no one really knew that I had skipped a beat. And it took a little bit like I had to dig pretty deep to do that. But I was so proud of myself because I didn't want to. I didn't want to let the podcast go dark. Zero dark 30. I didn't want to disappear in that way. It was important to me to keep showing up. So ask yourself, like, where is it actually important for you to show up? And where can you just give yourself grace that maybe just right now it's not as important? So I think when I think about visibility in the fear that can come along with it or just the the things that has triggered for me, a lot of it is tied to realizing now how much I kind of had my identity or my self-worth a little bit attached to being liked or what people thought of me I wanted. It was very important that I was perceived in a certain way, which can have you in a chokehold if you just want to be free to show up as your authentic self so, you know visibility can trigger these wounds.

Lindsay 00:13:36  What have you learned or how have you learned to separate, maybe your identity or your self-worth from what people on the internet say? And does it ever get to you?

Jasmine Star 00:13:46  So okay, I'm going to be honest. I worry I'm going to push some people away, but I just say what I'm going to say and it's going to land where it's going to land. I don't struggle with that.

Lindsay 00:13:55  Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:13:56  But hey.

Lindsay 00:13:58  No, wait. But. But here's the deal that's important to hear. Because now those of us that do know that it's an option.

Jasmine Star 00:14:07  I do, I feel a little bit of guilt around that. And I don't want to feel I don't want to feel guilt, that I don't struggle with the self-worth of me putting things out on the internet. I want you to like me. I don't care if you do. And I say that with all humility because I have. Listen, y'all, I've been in therapy for plenty of years. I have a lot of other baggage that's just not one of them.

Jasmine Star 00:14:31  And if there's anything that I could ever do to you or excuse me, say to you, and that has been done to me publicly, it has been done, it has been bad and it has been ugly. And I didn't want to get out of bed. And I struggled with depression, and through all of that, it still didn't mess with my self-worth because dare I say it, and I know it's okay for me to say, here's my identity isn't God.

Lindsay 00:14:50  Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:14:51  And so anybody can say anything and have opinions, but their opinions don't pay my bills. I create for the people who care and I create for those who don't. If you don't like it don't subscribe.

Lindsay 00:15:04  But that's it is it was actually a radical moment for me. There was a season where I really got to learn this lesson. The Rhino moment of that season was a situation that revealed to me just how much my identity was too tied in with how I was being perceived. And I remember a friend at the time saying they were like, why do you care? And the attitude they said it with, I got that they actually didn't care.

Lindsay 00:15:28  And to a midwesterner, you know, who had some very deep rooted, people pleasing tendencies, I just didn't know it wasn't enough. I didn't know it was an option to not care. So it's important to hear that. What about for you, Krista?

Jasmine Star 00:15:43  Yeah, I'm a little bit similar, because who wants it to be seen here? Like, who wants to be more visible? Be on stage. Like. Yes. Like almost all of you to survive in this industry and to be on stage, to be visible, to be public means people might perceive you, people might talk about you. And people on the internet are not my boss. God is my boss. So that's who I'm reporting to. That's who I'm with. And I'm not going to be listening to anyone on the internet what they have to say to me. Now, has that been sculpted over time? Yes. Have I had times and moments where I thought I was a piece of shit, a loser, fat, ugly? You know, all of the things that people have said for sure, but it's given me some thick skin, and it's also given me a lot of time in therapy to really find and cultivate a deep self-worth outside of what people have to say.

Jasmine Star 00:16:26  So I'm not saying that I'm immune to it at all, but it's really something that I've really chosen to take in therapy and really use as a way to deepen my own belief in myself and what I do. But I think at the beginning it's going to be the deepest practice for most people. I mean, most of us are people pleasers. Most of us deeply care about what others think of us. And so it's really beautiful that we all have the opportunity to use our work to heal, to use our work to become the women that you came here to be. And it's such a beautiful space of entrepreneurship. Like all your wounds, all your issues, all your stuff, it comes up in business. Like your entrepreneurship is a spiritual practice. It's an act. So you will be shown where you need to heal and love yourself more. And I know it's painful, let me tell you. But it's also such a gift.

Lindsay 00:17:11  It's so.

Lori Harter 00:17:12  Good, I love.

Lindsay 00:17:12  That. But for you, Lori.

Lori Harter 00:17:13  So I think everything that we are signing up for in all of our big dreams in this room and all the things we want to do, are going to do exactly what Krista just said, and it's going to show us exactly where we think we're solid, but we're actually super weak.

Jasmine Star 00:17:28  So getting that I'm old recently and I'm like.

Lori Harter 00:17:31  I know. And now when I'm up here, I'm like, what lesson should I pull from? Because I'm old now, so I've got lots of bags of tricks up here. Okay, so with that said, you guys, was I the person who deeply cared? Yeah, that's all I cared about is what people thought. Midwestern girl, born and raised, restrictive religion. All that was ever told to me was how you're acting, how you're being like, this is all very important. And self-worth wasn't a conversation. It was really like, are you being a good girl? Are you showing up humble? And as you all know, being an entrepreneur kind of has to break those rules of what people think is a good girl, of what people think is humble, of how you should show up.

Lori Harter 00:18:09  And so I think especially for me, I've always wanted to be liked. I was I was a kid who was bullied growing up. So for me it felt like life or death. Anybody experienced that like it feels like life or death. If people don't love you or need you or want you and I, it wasn't until it's like you think you're working on it and you think you're solid. And it wasn't until probably 2020 when I was like, okay, I'm ready for my next level. Like, I'm feeling that good. Anybody in here like, let's go to the next level. Like you're ready. Like you're solid. You're waiting for it. Okay. Some of you aren't raising your hand now because I'm building this up like it's really scary. I know, and it is. Okay.

Jasmine Star 00:18:46  I want to be canceled.

Lori Harter 00:18:48  Exactly. You're not going to be canceled. Okay, maybe. But anyway, scratch that whole thing. Let's go back. Okay. With that said, I was like, you know what? My higher self feels like I want to call in a bigger challenge.

Lori Harter 00:18:59  And that was when I had started a company called Light Pink. And I at this point, for me, disappointing people felt like my biggest fear. Like, if I disappointed people that I cared about, like, I want you to think of all of your mentors and things like that in your head. Does disappointing them and disappointing your family or friends or people who you really care about feel like one of your biggest fears, like having them question you or, you know, let let them down or whatever that looks like. So in 2020, I decide to raise money from my mentors, my best friends, my peers, my family to fast forward about a year and a half, not be able to get this first idea to the finish line and having to let people know, hey, that first idea didn't work. I'm so sorry that I just burned through $1 million of your money. And people who I look up to, and I just remember I'm. I'm saying this story fast. But you guys, it was one of the darkest experiences of my entire life, disappointing the people that I care about most.

Lori Harter 00:19:59  In a way, to me, that it felt out of my control. And I think that was one of the biggest moments where I had to dig in and go, what do I think of myself? What are my intentions? Why am I here? What am I made of? How long am I going to stay down here? Who's around me? Did I set up a really good team for myself to help me get out of this and that? Those were the moments for me that like, after something happens like that and I know it's happened to everybody up here, something similar in a different way. When you get so shaken, when everything when you get shaken and everything gets shaken away, that's the only time that I feel like we really start to get to answer that question of, do you actually know your self-worth? And do you actually want to know what you're made of and go to the next level? And so if you're afraid of that at all, I will tell you, I would live through that again ten times to be the woman that I am sitting on this stage.

Jasmine Star 00:21:00  Yeah, I may say so. So let's pause here for a second, because we hear that story. And for the people who struggle deeply with self-worth associated with performance or accolades, what we do is there's a tendency to think of yourself much worse than what the reality is. We sat in a room with the most impressive people, mind blowing people, and we sat in a large U-shaped room, and there was about 50 people in there, and we all went around to say something, and Lori spoke up and she talked about her deep shame and embarrassment. People in the room had given her considerable amounts of money, and she sat there as a completely broken woman, and I sat across from her and all I wanted to do was say, can you please be nice to my friend? Nobody is thinking the way that you're thinking about you. So, number one, if this is something you struggle with and you put words to it, people will absolutely tell you it is not as bad as you are making it.

Jasmine Star 00:21:53  And number two, bring people in on the journey because they want you to win. But if we keep people away, we self-isolate, we go into a vortex and we keep people at a distance.

Lindsay 00:22:03  Yeah, that's so good. So so good. Yeah. So if each of you could travel back in time and you could go back to the version of yourself who is sitting in a room like this, starting to wake up to this bigger vision that you have for yourself, knowing you're meant for more, wanting to put yourself out there. If you could give that version of you one piece of advice, what would you tell her? Do you want to go first? Yeah.

Jasmine Star 00:22:29  So I started my podcast in 2020. I started it with a, like a snowball Mike. Amazon. That was like $19.

Lindsay 00:22:36  I think we all started with that mic.

Jasmine Star 00:22:37  Okay. With my laptop and GarageBand and zoom. Okay, so it started off with nothing. And the thing I would go back to her and say to her today, don't stop.

Jasmine Star 00:22:50  Don't stop when the downloads aren't there. Don't stop when the downloads are there. Don't stop when the downloads drop. Don't stop when they say those things. Don't stop when they misconstrue your words. Don't stop when people have opinions. Keep going. And I see the very same thing to myself today. Because it's the very same thing that I would tell every single woman in this audience. If you don't stop. You can only win.

Multiple Speakers 00:23:19  This is just so good. I'm just like, oh my God.

Jasmine Star 00:23:23  Similar to you, I started the podcast on the closet floor. We were in a dirty, dingy closet. Me and my best friend. Just like kickin. Can talking for months before we released. It was horrible when we released like we released our first episode of Friends Text Me. She goes, was that the. Was that meant to be the first one?

Lindsay 00:23:43  Was that on purpose?

Jasmine Star 00:23:44  People were like, yo, I went to all the way to the back. I'm like, the backpack.

Jasmine Star 00:23:47  I'm like, that's not supposed to be there. So it was a complete mess. But what I would say to that girl just back then that started the podcast on the closet floor that had a really big dream and had purpose, or felt like she wanted to find purpose. I so desperately wanted to feel like I had a life of purpose, was that you cannot deny the calling of your soul. And I feel like for so long I was just hiding, I was shrinking, I was contorting, I was saying things people wanted me to say. I was pretending that I wasn't a big, powerful person, and I was just kind of like negotiating my truth, negotiating everything. And I just would be like, girl, your soul came here to do something. You came here with purpose. You came here on mission. And I believe that for every single one of you. I'm not special in that fact at all, like it is truthful that your soul came to this earth to do something. And so I would just honor.

Jasmine Star 00:24:37  I'd be like, girl, you got to just stop playing small, stop faking, stop negotiating your truth and just know how powerful you are are.

Lori Harter 00:24:45  Okay, so all of those things, I absolutely feel like I need to go back and say all of those things to myself as well. But for me, I feel like sometimes I have to say these, like.

Lindsay 00:24:54  Very.

Lori Harter 00:24:55  Harsh statements to myself. Maybe not harsh, but like a little opposite of what I think, so that I can, like, really understand something that I need to do. So I'll explain. I, I would go back and say to myself, that cringe is the secret. Yeah. So I want to I want to share a quick story of Lindsay and I going to an event recently, and we were backstage, so Lindsay spoke on Saturday. I got to speak on Sunday. Like, what a dream. Okay, that in itself was our actual dream. I was like, this is like a bestie dream come true that we get to go speak at the same event.

Lori Harter 00:25:25  It was so fun. Okay, so those are goals. Put that on a vision board because it was pretty freaking epic. All right. So we are speaking. She is going to go on stage in this green room is sharing. It's pretty much like everybody on all of the different stages are back there. So at any given time there's like 25 to like 40 people back here and all of their people. And we get back there and Lindsay and I are doing what Lindsay and I do best. We are making people like us, like we are doing the rounds.

Lindsay 00:25:52  We are doing it well, work.

Lori Harter 00:25:54  We are sweating. We're just like, do they like us? Do they like us? Did you get them? Get in that corner. Make them like us. Okay. Is a midwest.

Lindsay 00:26:03  High five.

Lori Harter 00:26:03  Eight. And we're, like, high fiving across the room. And so I'm I'm back there and I go to sit down and I kind of want to read over some questions, and I sit and I look.

Lori Harter 00:26:13  And to the left of me is this amazing woman that I follow that I'm obsessed with. I'm actually following her a lot because we have kind of similar businesses. And I did get to meet her and she was lovely. She said the kindest things to me, like the kind of thing you want to record and play back to yourself like that. Lovely. And then I'm watching her from the corner of my eye because she is like, taking up space, guys. She sets up her ring light. She's got someone filming her. She is getting so much content. Doesn't give up. If anybody likes her in that room, like she is just going for it for like, I don't know, 30 minutes and now has what I am clocking at maybe 30 days of content and I'm sitting there in my first thought is, oh, that's so cringey. Yeah, I was so judging so hard and you want to know my second thought? She's going home with all the things that I'm going to be pissed I'm not going home with.

Lori Harter 00:27:08  I was so mad at myself, but my very first thought was, oh, that's so cringey. And you know why? I was like, oh my God, that's exactly what I need to be doing. And I know that if I thought it, when I do it, people are going to think that of me and I'm going to have to sit with that. And if I want to get to my next level, I have to sit knowing that that might be the thought of all of you in this room. When you see me getting the content that I need to go to the next level for my next level of business itself, I have to sit with knowing all of you might be going. She is selfish. She's so into herself. Look at her. She looks like she's into herself. Oh my God, that's not how I want to be. I'll never show up that way. I have to sit with all of that and it deeply hits my solar plexus. Even saying it right now, because I have to become okay with that.

Lori Harter 00:27:59  Then she went out on the panel. She proceeded to be amazing on the panel, but she did not worry about taking up space, and she certainly didn't worry that if she just spoke and spoke again, she wasn't scared to do that. Like she wasn't waiting for other people to answer the questions. SAT in the chair again and said, that's really interesting. I was like, she's not really giving a ton of space, but people weren't taking it. And so again, I judged. And then when it ended, she added, so much incredible value. She had a nice long line because people were so grateful for all of the value that, she added. She wasn't taking up space to take up space. She took it up to add a shitload of value in that room, and she has been my biggest lesson right now and I couldn't be more grateful for her. So that is the lesson that I want to offer all of you, is to be audacious. Because audacious has two meanings. It's either to be bold or to be rude.

Lori Harter 00:28:54  And so it's the only common denominator in that is you. You get to decide is how you're acting going to be bold and get you to the next level, or are you going to think it's rude and decide to not do it? And full circle, we came home the next week and I saw a post from Emma. Does anyone know who that is? She's like the person behind like Kardashian stuff and skims and Good American. And she had a post up and it said I said what? I said. So of course I scrolled. I'm like, what? What'd you say? Like, tell me all the things. And she did an interview for The Times and it said, I am where I am because I have the audacity of a man. And it was such a moment where I was like, every woman is going to say, oh, that's rude. Ooh, that was audacious. Oh God, that took up like, oh, that was, you know, how was she being or she's full of herself.

Lori Harter 00:29:45  That's what you have to sit with. Literally have to go for that. Knowing your intention, knowing who you are, knowing you're a good person and letting those opinions fall to the wayside because it is important what you have to do and what you have to say in the world, and that we all adopt this feeling of letting it be okay to disappoint people's opinions of what a good girl is and what it's not.

Lindsay 00:30:09  Yeah, I feel like if I were to go back, it's so funny. We've been sharing all these, like old clips from powerhouse today, because I think of that first video of me doing the Facebook Live, and I remember how cringe I felt doing that live and then immediately when it ended, everything in me wanted to take it down. So it reminds me of what Kat Norton was saying earlier on one of the panels, the nervous system Olympics. Wasn't that so? Gold? I've had to micro dose my courage in putting myself out there and show myself that I didn't die. And actually, sometimes really cool things happen.

Lindsay 00:30:45  So I remember that Facebook Live was in a private Facebook group. I was so like I actually felt nauseous leaving it up in a private Facebook group with my five friends. But one of those five friends messaged me minutes later, I remember I, I had to walk away and I went to the gym. I'll never forget I was in the middle of LA fitness and I had my phone between sets. Obviously checking it was Facebook at the time and I get this message from Jill Peterson that said, I just watched your live and my stomach dropped because she's one of my best friends. But I was like, oh God, she watched it and she's like, that was exactly what I needed to hear. And in fact, I just showed it to my entire leadership team. Will you come tomorrow, as in the next day, and speak to our staff meeting? She was the store manager at the time of one of the biggest Lululemon stores in Arizona. And of course, I had to say yes now because I'm microdosing my courage.

Lindsay 00:31:45  But I just think so often about like, had I never had the courage to put myself out there first and foremost, and I did it in a way that felt safe. It was in a private community, right? I was building up the courage. I was not the version of myself that I am now, but had I taken it down, had I taken that step back when I felt exposed, when I felt cringe, it would have blocked so many blessings. Because not only did they ask me to come and speak, they asked me then to be a Lululemon ambassador and I was like, what's sure? What's that? And you get a lot of free clothes. It was very it was a very lucrative Facebook Live. Now, does it always turn out like that? No. I've grown the most. When I do get a little bit of pushback or I do get the comment, that just kind of stings, because in that moment, again, if we're looking for the invitations to our own growth in that moment, I get to be with, ooh, okay, what did this just bring up in me? I really wanted that person to understand me.

Lindsay 00:32:57  Okay? It feels really unsafe right now to be misunderstood. But can I be with it? Can I remind myself I am safe? I'm not dying. Even though sometimes I feel like I am. And what would happen if I just leave the comment up? And if I just don't need to go and try to do PR to now get this person to understand me and I just let it be. And every single time I've done that, I build a little bit more confidence to be able to sit here and to be able to post and to be able to share on my podcast and feel a little bit more of what Jasmine was saying. But for anyone who feels really far from that, like truly not caring what someone else thinks, just know that the way you get there, the way you make it feel safe to be your most authentic self, is in small doses. Okay, so I want to talk a little bit about asking for what you want, because I think this fits within the audacity conversation.

Lindsay 00:33:58  That's another thing. Who has struggled a little bit to ask boldly and directly for exactly what you want in life, in your relationships. I'm like, give me a yeah, like the locked elbow version of the hand tap so it can feel terrifying. It really can. And especially when there's maybe like this fear of rejection or we kind of have it co-mingled with how we're going to feel if we get the no, or if we don't get the outcome that we want. So how do you navigate? If you struggle with this at all, the feelings that show up for you, maybe speak to those feelings when you're asking for what you want, in what area? Maybe. Do you struggle with asking for what you want? Maybe in business it's great, but in another area it's not. And then how do you work yourself through those moments?

Jasmine Star 00:34:45  So I struggle asking for anything. I am a vegetarian, and if somebody like the waiter wrote me a steak, I'd be like, thank you so much.

Lindsay 00:34:54  I love it. It's perfect.

Jasmine Star 00:34:55  I literally have a very hard time and I know that it's co-mingled. Earlier, Brittany had spoken about the childhood stories. I am a first generation Latina. I am the eldest of five children. I'm the first person in my family to go to college and law school, and every single time it felt like, is this okay? Is this okay? Can I be responsible? I will be responsible. I won't let anything down. So to ask for help is the most foreign concept that I could ever put out. In fact, I recounted a story to my twin sister and she said, oh my God, he just asked that. And I said, can you believe it? He just asked for what he want.

Lori Harter 00:35:31  No.

Jasmine Star 00:35:33  Oh my God, white men.

Lori Harter 00:35:38  I was like, we need to bring that out.

Multiple Speakers 00:35:40  We need to bring that out. There is an inner white guy in me just begging to come out. So whatever the lesson is, whatever the lesson is, I'm gonna walk into the room.

Jasmine Star 00:35:50  And in a more practical sense, because I got.

Multiple Speakers 00:35:53  A long way to go to.

Jasmine Star 00:35:54  Get there, I repeat to myself, everything is happening for me. The know that I didn't want. It's happening for.

Multiple Speakers 00:36:02  Me.

Jasmine Star 00:36:03  When people laugh at the thing that you ask, the audacity, it's happening for me. So until that alter ego comes out. Everything is happening for me, even. And most often when people say no. Yeah, Asking for what you want. I remember the beginning of the podcast. We would pitch these really big guests and we're like, yeah, of course we're in our closet for like, we're amazing. They're gonna come on, we got, you know, we got so many no's, mostly no's from everybody, mostly no's from everybody. I mean, what it was just there wasn't maybe a barely a scratch of a yes. And during that time, I was so thankful I had Lindsey, my best friend, to be in it with me. But when we finally could get a yes from someone that was bigger and we could sit down with them and have an interview, I was so grateful that they said no at first, because I could actually work on my skills and hone my craft and become more confident and actually be the person that could have the type of conversation with that person that would bring value.

Jasmine Star 00:37:02  So whenever I here knows I'm a little bit the same. Like you, I'm always like, how can this be good? Like, how can this. No, right now be good. Whether it's in dating, whether it's in relationships, the no has to be good. I think in business, I've been a little bit better with asking for what I want, but my my work is relationships. Like, I could be with a man and I'm like, I don't know, like maybe like I've really lost my voice in relationships. So I'm grateful to have it a little bit more in business from being over time. But I think we kind of find the places in life where we really need to work on it.

Lindsay 00:37:29  Yeah.

Lori Harter 00:37:30  Okay, so the audacity story continued with asking for what you want. I my challenge right now that I'm doing with myself is that I need to be daily, somehow doing an ask that doesn't just make me go. That was a little uncomfortable. I actually want it in the tone of the audacity to ask that.

Lori Harter 00:37:53  Like in okay, so this is really fun and exciting. Yeah. Yes. You have to do that accent. Like you're extremely wealthy from the rich and famous like on 1980s. Yeah, like the audacity. So okay, so it works if you can laugh at yourself. Does anybody just laugh through life? And somehow we're all just. It's working. Okay, so the other day I was like, I want to be doing this gifting to people, to like people who are way ahead of me, who have big careers and all the things that would really change the game if they shared glossy for me. And so a lot of times I'll be like, well, I won't gift them because they're never going to see it in their inbox. And I was like, what would it look like if I was super audacious, though? And I wanted to send this message and I was like, hey, blah, blah, blah. I have this incredible product. It's totally changed the game for me.

Lori Harter 00:38:38  My skin. I saw that you have a birthday coming up. Let me tell you, if you're having cocktails, you're going to be obsessed with this. I know you're traveling, blah blah blah. This is the best product that you're ever going to use this for, especially for this weekend. And I literally sent it and I was like, oh, the audacity to think that my product is the best product? I was like, oh my God. And I literally sat there doing this in my head and like, laughing. And I was like, okay, whatever. Like, who cares? Like the audacity to think that you have a great product, the audacity to think that you really are the best at what you do. The audacity to think that your book could be a New York Times bestseller? The audacity to think that you could make $1 million this next year? The audacity like that is that's next level. I don't know, guys. And so that is the challenge I'm on with asking.

Lori Harter 00:39:30  And I will say something that has made asking a lot easier for me. Not every ask is going to be this way, but if you can think of your ask from a way to make it a win for them as well, that makes it a whole lot easier to go hard on that ask. Like a lot of times we ask without knowing the goals of the person on the other side. If I know that Jasmine's goal is to grow her podcast and I want to get on her podcast, I'm not just going to pitch a good story because Jasmine gets about a million good stories in her inbox, but what I am going to do is I'm going to say, hey, I'm going to put this out on as many channels as I can. I'm going to ask these ten people who are my friends to share it that day. I'm going to try to make sure that you grow to then that makes my big, bold, audacious ask a little bit easier for me to go in there with, because I know it's a win win for everyone.

Lindsay 00:40:17  So good. Is this so golden? I feel like I want to go make some content right now, so that's kind of the perfect segue to wrap this up, because each of you have been such champions for me behind the scenes in every moment. I just checking in to force me to think about, gosh, what would I ask my friends for help? What do you need? How can I share? How can I support you? So to all of our podcast audiences, also to this room, I want you to make a bold ask what would be the biggest needle moving ask you could make for how we can all support you or your business right now? Do you want to go first, Jasmine?

Jasmine Star 00:41:00  Yes I would. And maybe it's just the Latina coming out of me again.

Multiple Speakers 00:41:04  I don't, I don't.

Multiple Speakers 00:41:06  Hola, Hola. Want to start this?

Multiple Speakers 00:41:09  okay.

Jasmine Star 00:41:09  So real quick, I would love your help. That'd be great. But how about you prove to yourself that you could help yourself before you would ask somebody to do that? All of y'all look real.

Jasmine Star 00:41:20  Fly. You guys, you guys know you look real good, right? Yeah. Oh, my gosh, do you guys not think you look great?

Multiple Speakers 00:41:29  I mean okay.

Jasmine Star 00:41:30  And so and so there's beautiful signage. And so what you're going to do is you're going to create a reel where you show your face. You don't even have to use words. You're going to get the camera in selfie mode, put a little filter, just do p sign wink, smile, have homegirl hold it for you. You're going to get two seconds of that. You're going to get two seconds of powerhouse sign. Get two seconds to the glossy sign. Get two seconds to the palm tree. You're gonna get two seconds.

Multiple Speakers 00:41:50  Of you.

Jasmine Star 00:41:50  Guys laughing, toasting cheers. And you get two seconds of just your shoes walking by because, you know, everybody's shoes here is on point. Every clip is about 1.5 seconds. If you put eight clips together, we have about a six second reel. You're going to tag powerhouse.

Jasmine Star 00:42:02  You're going to tag Lindsay. You're going to talk about the three things you learned to become a different person. Help yourself be seen. Please do something to put your mark in the world. You didn't come here to be the same person. If you want change, you have to change. So what are you going to do to get uncomfortable? Help me by showing the words that I am using today. Has had a transformation in your life so that you are seen so that your family says you've changed and you reply good.

Lindsay 00:42:34  Yeah, yeah okay, now I love that. But you notice how she didn't answer the question and we will do that. What can we do to support you? Oh yeah, I'm going to make you answer it. Yeah. It's you. Everyone's like, I want to be Lucy's friend until they don't.

Jasmine Star 00:42:51  Okay. So she see, well, while Lindsay is the dancing emoji girl, I stare at her and I'm the hard eyed emoji. I just look at her and people have photos of me just looking at her like I'm a puppy.

Jasmine Star 00:43:02  We do have.

Lindsay 00:43:03  A recent photo like.

Jasmine Star 00:43:04  That. We do. to be honest, if you listened and shared the podcast, that'd.

Lindsay 00:43:09  Would be great.

Jasmine Star 00:43:09  Yeah. Thank you.

Lindsay 00:43:10  Yeah. Yeah. And leave a review. You know, when we say that on our podcast, it it actually helps so much. Did any podcast that you love any podcast. They also do. It helps your favorite podcast so much. The five star ones. If you hate the podcast, just slide into our DMs and tell us nasty things. But just the five star ones to be clear. Now you know what's actually great. I'm going to I'm going to share this, and then I'm going to see what Krista's ask is. So we're staying at I'm having a little mom daughter bestie slumber party this weekend with my best friend and our two moms at an Airbnb, and I used to own an Airbnb, and I, I watched the way that Airbnb owners run it as a business. And this company has the most brilliant fridge magnet that literally asks for exactly what they want, which is five star reviews.

Lindsay 00:44:01  Because you guys, if you didn't know this, even if you leave a four star review that up, an Airbnb hosts like it actually makes things not great because we don't get seen. You don't get seen in the search. So they had this brilliant ask for exactly what they wanted. And I was like, it's in these moments the audacity to actually just say as podcast hosts, five star reviews mean everything. We want to hear your honest feedback. Give us the constructive feedback privately. Just in life. This is this is like a great. And then if you really, really love it, give it a five star review. Anyway.

Jasmine Star 00:44:40  Send some, send a Venmo.

Lori Harter 00:44:42  yeah. And I was.

Multiple Speakers 00:44:43  Like, I'll give you guys my Cash app.

Lindsay 00:44:44  Yes, exactly.

Multiple Speakers 00:44:46  We'll put it.

Lindsay 00:44:46  On the screen.

Multiple Speakers 00:44:47  I was so inspired.

Jasmine Star 00:44:48  By what you were saying, and I just wanted to add something to. I think whenever we're in rooms of women like this, it's so special. And Lindsay is just such a master at creating and cultivating spaces that feel like home and that feel like that next level version of you.

Jasmine Star 00:45:02  So just for today, what I would do when you guys are together is potentially share your visions and dreams like share them with people that dream big too. I grew up in a small town in Ohio. No one was dreaming and when I moved to Los Angeles, I finally got the freedom to like, express myself and share my dreams. And the other thing is, is when you're talking to your friend or the new friend here, just ask them to go bigger. Because I even think that whenever we share dreams with people, there's such bigger levels and there's actually more that we're still hiding behind. So that's my ask of you guys today and my ask, I think if you got the book in your VIP bag, you got the almost 30 book that we just put out in June. I would love if you shared it would mean the world to me. Putting a book out was everything people said and more like people would be like, it's so hard. I'm like, you don't work that hard.

Jasmine Star 00:45:47  And I'm like, oh, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. So you sharing it on social would just mean the world to me.

Lindsay 00:45:52  And the book is so good. It's if you think about it, we are all almost something. That's what we've been talking about all day and it's the most practical advice. Such an easy read. It's such a great book to gift to friends who are in a gap season, and I'm so honored to have it as part of our VIP gift bags this year. Lori, what's the biggest thing we can do to support you or glossy in this season?

Lori Harter 00:46:16  Okay, so I'm going to have the audacity to make sure you guys do something audacious as well. Truly, that has been just if you could just.

Lindsay 00:46:24  Like.

Lori Harter 00:46:25  Grab that mantra from me and say the audacity to yourself at least twice next week, but say it in that accent for me, like the audacity and see what happens. Like and in fact, DM me on the audacious thing that you did.

Lori Harter 00:46:38  I really, really, actually want to know. Truly. I want to see them. My audacious ask is to literally try glossy if you have not tried it yet. People came up yesterday and we're saying their testimonials, saying it has worked better than any topical skincare that they've ever used. And that is a huge testimonial. I'm like, who was that that came up and said that? I was like, this is amazing. Could you get on stage and say that? but we are running a 15% off with either a free sweatshirt or a water bottle back there. So if you want to go scan that little QR code and try glossy, I promise you it's you can just you can kind of kick that hydration stick out of bed that you use, and also know that it's going to be so good for your skin and gut. So it is my passion right now. And I'll tell you why. It's not just about a product that I'm so obsessed with. You guys, that is changed the game for me and came out of a need that I have, especially for traveling and bloating and skin.

Lori Harter 00:47:32  But also you guys, that is the proof that if I can make that happen, a girl who did not graduate high school, who has broken all odds of her family, can actually go and break another ceiling and start a business that was so outside of her wheelhouse, which I bet a lot of you totally bent yourselves and don't think anything like that or having a product is even possible. It is so possible. And I know that by making this successful, it's going to be proof and permission for women that you can raise money even if you didn't graduate, or if you don't have certain things in your wheelhouse, or if you didn't know how to build a team, or if you didn't know anything about a common manufacturing, a product formulation, I knew nothing. And by us going first, you guys, all of you, that is permission for every single person.

Jasmine Star 00:48:22  If you enjoyed listening to this episode, I'm going to ask you to do the same thing that I ask the audience to do, which makes me.

Multiple Speakers 00:48:29  Very.

Jasmine Star 00:48:29  Uncomfortable. But like we talked about in the panel, you don't get what you don't ask for. So this is my very clear ask, could you please leave a five star review for this podcast episode? I know, I know, it will take about two minutes to do, but I am telling you, those two minutes of your time are going to pay off dividends for us two years from now so that we can get better guests, amazing guests. Continue. It is what we do and we listen to your feedback. So please, we love hearing from you. Those five star reviews continue pushing us forward. Thank you for watching and listening to The Jasmine Star Show.