Who Do You Need to Become to Reach the Next Level?

If you’ve ever walked into a room and immediately felt behind… this episode is for you.

I recently attended an eight-figure mastermind in Vermont and, despite years of building businesses, speaking on stages, and creating companies from scratch, I still found myself feeling completely out of my element.

That experience reminded me of something powerful: growth doesn’t always feel graceful. Sometimes it feels awkward, intimidating, and uncomfortable.

But uncomfortable doesn’t mean unqualified.

It usually means you’re growing.

In this episode, I’m sharing what I learned from being in a room full of high-level entrepreneurs, the mindset shift that changed how I think about success, and why the real question isn’t “What do I need to do?” but…

“Who do I need to become?”

We’ll talk about:

• Navigating seasons where you feel behind
• Why every successful entrepreneur starts before they feel ready
• How growth requires identity shifts, not just better strategies
• The power of showing up before you feel confident

If you’ve been questioning whether you belong in the room you’re stepping into, this is your reminder:

You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

Click play to hear all of this and:

[00:00] Why the question isn’t “What do I do?” but “Who do I become?”

[03:00] Traveling to Vermont with JD and Luna for an eight-figure mastermind

[05:00] Walking into a gala where I didn’t know a single person

[08:00] The awkward introduction that changed everything

[11:00] What intimidation actually reveals about growth

[14:00] Why successful entrepreneurs still feel behind sometimes

[17:00] Starting businesses before feeling qualified or ready

[21:00] The powerful mindset shift that helps you reach your next level

Listen to Related Episodes:

• Building Confidence with Ease: How I’m Becoming the 3X Version of Myself
• Why Systems Are the Secret to 8-Figure Growth
• How I Maximize My Experiences and Investments to Reach My Next Level as a CEO

📧 Join my Newsletter for a weekly cocktail of insider business strategy, personal reflections, and the journey of being a thought leader: https://jasminestar.com/newsletter 📧

For full show notes, visit jasminestar.com/podcast/episode636

Transcript

Jasmine Star 00:00:00  I left that keynote and I was forced to ask myself, who do I need to be to build to the next level? Not what do I have to do? The question is, who do I need to be? Let's start at the end and then work our way back here to the now. If you're a leader starting something new, you will likely feel behind stupid, lost, and completely out of sorts. Until one day you don't anymore. And I say this as somebody who has gone to law school, became a world renowned photographer, started selling PDFs online in a digital shop I created, having never built a digital shop before. Created millions of dollars in courses, millions of dollars for memberships, and millions of dollars from a tech company. And I don't say this for any other reason than one thing. I know what it's like to start from nothing. I know what it's like to start with nothing. I also know what it feels like to think I'm nothing. But here's the truth I didn't stay in like that.

Jasmine Star 00:00:57  Nothing space for too long. I wanted to drop out of law school, so I did. I said I wanted to become a photographer, so I did, but I didn't even own a camera. I said I wanted to start a tech company, and I had never written a line of code, and I still have it, but I did. I am proof that you can take nothing and turn it into something. Something really amazing. If I am totally being honest with you. So allow me to take you back. A few months ago, when I was invited to a mastermind in Vermont called the eight Figure Founder Boardroom, hosted by Cole Gordon. Now, I hate traveling without my family, so I invited JD and Luna with me and me. We made our way to Vermont for the very first time. When we arrived at the Albany airport, I for the first time. Okay, y'all, this is terrible. For the first time, I am in Vermont. And then I looked at the itinerary and I realized that the shuttle the event arranged for us was waiting outside, and it was going to be almost a two hour drive from Albany to Manchester, Vermont.

Jasmine Star 00:01:59  Okay. Normally that would not have been an issue, but I was traveling with a six year old who had been awake since 3 a.m. that morning and flown in two planes for 6.5 hours. And now we were going to get in a shuttle with 15 other strangers. I wanted to die, like my husband and I are silently communicating to ourselves, being like, OMG, this is bad! And I was so nervous that our daughter was going to have a meltdown. And the last thing a group of eight figure entrepreneurs want to do is ride with a kid who's having a meltdown. So y'all, I prayed a million prayers and I gave her anything she wanted. Like I probably would have given her a pony. You want a pony, you get a pony. But the great news is that she is our travel champion heavyweight of the world. She was an absolute angel. Shout out God! Okay, so here's the first lesson I learned going to an eight figure mastermind. If you are going to take your child, arrange for your own transportation.

Jasmine Star 00:02:56  Okay. So here's the crazy thing. The shuttle arrived about 30 minutes before the gala started. Yes. Is it gala or gala? I don't know if I'm fancy. Most say gala. I met gala, we had a gala. Okay, so it was like 30 minutes before this gala arrived, and I had never been to a mastermind where they hosted a gala. Like this was the first. And as if that wasn't, like, hard enough. They said that the dress code was, and I quote, alpine chic winter out and quote. And if you're sitting here and you're wondering like, what does that even mean? me too. So of course I was panicked while I was packing, but by the time we arrived at the hotel and I was going to be late to the gala, I just quickly got dressed and I walked downstairs to the ballroom. It was filled with gorgeous people in gorgeous clothes in a gorgeous venue, and I did not know a single person. Not one zero. I walked into the room and let me state if you're listening to the podcast, if you want to check out the video on YouTube, I'm going to be showing photos and videos of behind the scenes, including my outfit, complete with an over-the-top vintage fur coat.

Jasmine Star 00:04:07  I did not come to play okay, they said alpine chic, and all I heard was give them 1970s shimmer and fur baby. Okay, so I walked into the room and I immediately felt stuck. I did not know what to do. Like literally everyone was engaged in conversations. Everybody knew. Like they knew each other. And I stood in the center of the cocktail area with literally nothing to do. So I walked to the bar. But I am not so much of a drinker. Like I might have a glass of wine or a glass of champagne here and there, but I am not like a casual drinker. I just don't go to alcohol and be like, you fit in girl. So I needed to do something. So I went to the bartender and I asked for a club soda in a glass with a lime and a short straw. Why? Because I wanted to make it look like it was like an ambiguous cocktail. So I walked back. It was a cocktail hour. Armed with what appeared to be liquid courage, I walked up to a group of guys standing next to two girls.

Jasmine Star 00:05:04  And then I introduced myself to them, and I just said the truth. Okay, so it's awkward, but it is what it is. And I was like, you're either going to stand in the center of the room and not talk, or you're just going to make yourself an awkward introduction. So I went up to these two girls that were standing with a group of guys and I said, hi, my name is Jasmine Star and I have nobody to talk to. Can I join y'all? It was awkward. It just totally was. But here's the good news. They were so kind. They welcomed me. They invited me to stay and eat at their table that night. And y'all like, that was just like, that was just the little God wink. Because I was so exhausted. And then I left the gala right after dinner so I could start the next day, nice and fresh. It was about 30 degrees and snowing, so I was happy that the hotel and the event that were all in one location.

Jasmine Star 00:05:55  So after breakfast, I grabbed a seat in the front row and then I waited for the event to begin. I should probably mention that JD asked how I was feeling before I walked out of our hotel room, and I said, I'm nervous, intimidated, and I'm very out of my element now. This wasn't because I thought I was like dumb or incapable, it was simply because everything was new. Like the way they spoke, the way they thought, the way they laughed like rich guys on a yacht. Oh, and like the way they dressed. Okay, here's one thing. Here's one thing. People are gonna be like, oh, she's talking trash. I'm not talking trash. I just didn't understand it. So let me describe it to you and let me see if you understand it. So they have this event sponsor, and the event sponsor was there because the guys, guys and girls could get fitted for custom suits. Okay. Now this vendor was from Ireland and they were creating all these really fancy suits.

Jasmine Star 00:06:50  So everybody who was there, like all of the people who were hosting event and then some of the other attendees, they looked like they were styled by like the UFC champ Conor McGregor, you know, Conor McGregor. And he walks in with his suits. That's how all these guys were walking around. I was like, did somebody say there was prom around here? Because I'm out here just in like a shirt and pants and it's like, I'm going to be the UFC champ. Okay. So I tried my best to like, blend in. I tried to use industry language, but this was very new to me. So this event focused on businesses with large scale sales teams. Okay, so I'm brand, brand, brand stinkin new to the world of creating a sales team. So like if you're in the know and you speak in acronyms and like shortcuts and I was like, I didn't know what many of them were talking about. So when they asked me what I did, I tried explaining it a few times, but judging how their eyes are kind of like the last over, I quickly learned I'm just going to say I'm in media.

Jasmine Star 00:07:46  That's what I said. I'm in media, I know you and I both know I should have and could have explained it better. I should have used my words, but honestly, I just didn't care. I didn't need them to like me or think I was valuable, or think I was important, or think I was a baddie. I literally didn't care. Now pause. There was a time that I did. There was a time that I felt really insecure and I just felt unsure of myself, my career. So I would use and try to like, say, like who I was. And I would try to use all of my energy to convince somebody that I belonged in the room. And now I'm at a point in my life that I have been unqualified, unfunded, unconnected and uneducated, and I have still found my way to get into rooms. So now I'm like, I'm going to let my actions dictate my future. So if you don't get me and I don't know how to explain it, it's all good.

Jasmine Star 00:08:38  Instead of like, listening, how about you just watch me? So I didn't care. I wasn't there to be homecoming queen. I was there to scale my business. Can I get a name in? So I just kept quiet and I just listened. I listened to everything they were saying. So there were three keynotes, but my favorite one was from Cole Gordon. You know, he was the host of the event. So obviously, you know, was going to be good. He walked through the last six years of his business, and he gave a totally candid, open and raw talk about rapid growth. He grew really fast, and he talked openly about his mistakes and what he learned. And I, I found it inspiring. But it was also a reality check because, like, building this type of business in this industry is for a different level of entrepreneur. That was hard for me to understand, but like, I got it, I left that keynote and I was forced to ask myself, who do I need to be to build to the next level? Not what do I have to do? The question is, who do I need to be? And Cole gave a great blueprint for what is required to lead a team past multiple eight figures.

Jasmine Star 00:09:42  Now, the other speakers were great. They were awesome. Then we headed off to an evening networking event, and families were invited to that event because it was hosted at a nearby ski resort and we were able to go snow tubing. Okay, so let me give you a behind the scenes kind of like look at what was going on. My daughter Luna. She was afraid to go on the snow tubing, but I was like, come on girl. Like, we do courageous things. We're scared all the time, but we're going to do it anyway. So I told her, I'm going to go with you. Snow tubing. Okay. And so in my mind, and literally what I thought that we would be able to go on one snow tube together. So we go up like this, kind of like a people mover. It's kind of like an escalator to go up the mountain. And then we get up there and then they tell me at the time when she's about to go down, no, you can't sit on the tube with her.

Jasmine Star 00:10:27  She has to go by herself. So my daughter, I'm looking at her, trying to summon courage that she didn't have, and I was terrified. I was like, oh my God, you are the worst, mom. You're going to send your daughter down this hill while all these other adults are screaming bloody murder because it's so sharp. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God. And other people are like, hey, calm down. You know, like other kids have gone down this. And I was like, yes, I know, but my daughter, like my daughter's precious, okay? And she has like the worst luck. Me and my daughter have the worst. If there's like a 1 in 1,000,000 chance that you're gonna, like, trip on some random shoe left in the street and chip your front tooth, she and I are the people who are like the one in the million. So I'm looking at this tube and I'm like, oh my God. And so I just looked at her and I promised her something I couldn't promise myself.

Jasmine Star 00:11:08  You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna go down with you. So I went to this other person who was at the front of their line. There was three lines, and I said, hey, can I please go down with my daughter? I just need to make sure everything's okay. They were like, really? Yeah. Of course. So we both sit and I'm smiling at her and on the inside I'm like, oh my God, we're both going to chip our teeth right about now. So we're going down. And because I'm larger and heavier than her, my tube is going down before hers. And I have this ability to look back at her and I begin to spin like, rotations. And all of a sudden I was like, I am going to chip my tooth and I'm going to vomit, and my daughter is going to plummet to like the depths of my despair and I descend. I get to the bottom. I have a chance to look back at her. And she's white. No, my baby girl.

Jasmine Star 00:11:49  She already. She's definitely lighter. She's definitely lighter than her mama. But she went from, like, white to neon glow in the dark. Her eyes were as big as saucers. And I was like, you are the worst mom in this moment. She lands safely right next to me in the next lane, and she goes from sheer panic to elation.

Jasmine Star 00:12:07  Oh, I did.

Jasmine Star 00:12:10  I went from being the worst mom in the history of all time to the freaking best. That's how we do. That's how we do, y'all. So this is a story of courage, and this is a story of panic. And this is getting to the end. May we all survive. Okay, so that was like a side note that nobody cared about. But let me just tell you that she embodied the fear that I had simultaneously to be her mom, to do something scary, and the same fear that I had waking up the next day to go to the second day of the mastermind. Oh, can we just pause there? Did you guys like how we kind of said, I'm scared, I need courage now.

Jasmine Star 00:12:40  We're at second day of the mastermind, y'all. podcasting. Okay, so now let's get to the real world. Now it's time for the second full day of mastermind programming. But the morning was used for snow activities. Okay. Like skiing? Snowboarding. So what has. This is an eight figure boardroom mastermind. And part of it is like, ladies and gentlemen, go skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, go snow off roading with Range Rover in the mountains. Yes. The activity was to go in a Range Rover through the mountains. You can go dog sledding. And do you think that I did any of that? Heck, no. Your girl is brown and I prefer warm weather anytime I'm what you'd call indoors. So if you want me to go outside, I'll only do it if it's warmer by, like, 74 degrees. And I need to wear sunscreen. Yes. And amen. So instead of doing the cold activities I worked out, I worked for a minute, a little bit in the hotel, and I had breakfast with my family.

Jasmine Star 00:13:34  Then I went to the mastermind events again. So here's the real real. At this time I felt like I was drowning in information. There was so much to consider. There were so many new ideas. There were so many ways to do things. And I was genuinely struggling. Like, what do I choose to focus on and what do I let go of? I'm incredibly thankful because I am a client of Cole Gordon. I'm not talking about his program because I'm an affiliate, or I get a kickback or any of that. I am a full paying client, and I'm talking about my experience because I hired his team to help me build out my sales department in my account manager was at the event. So an account manager is basically like a coach, somebody who's accountable to you depending on how much you paid. So I've worked with Sue for almost a year, and she has single handedly reshaped my thinking. She has held me to impeccably high standard. I love her, it's probably unprofessional to say, but I just do.

Jasmine Star 00:14:29  I don't even care. So we ate lunch together one day and she passed on a very valuable lesson. She reminded me that I will get it done, and it will happen the way I want it, but it might not happen when I want it. That unlike life in business, the best things take time. So it was with that perspective that I ended the day with a new commitment to end the event on my own terms. So the next day is this. Day three I set time aside to play with my daughter in the snow. We built castles and snow angels, and I told her how lucky I was to be her mom and how lucky we were to travel together. That was me ending it on my terms. That was the last day. So before the conference started up again, on that third day, I went back to the hotel room and I recorded a video. It is a real honest look at where I was energetically, professionally and emotionally. So I recorded it. And then before recording this particular podcast, I debated whether or not I was going to share it.

Jasmine Star 00:15:32  But this show has always been created for documenting my journey and giving people an inside look to being an entrepreneur and giving people like a front row seat to what it takes to build a big business in small ways. I went to the eight figure boardroom mastermind with questions and expectations, and while I got answers, I mostly walked away with a clear decision and a conversation I needed to have. And then I needed to take a courageous step into a role in my organization that I had never done before. At the time of this recording, I've been sitting as manager of the sales department for over two months, and I have a surprise for you. I love it. I really, really love it and I'm shocked. I worked with a recruiter to hire the sales manager, and when we went back to the hiring process, I paused. And then I decided that in order for me to hire the best of the best, I needed to get the department to where it needs to be. I needed to create a baseline.

Jasmine Star 00:16:38  I needed to create SOPs, and I needed to build an airtight system to ensure that the foundation of our business is locked in. And I had to create a culture that said, if I am not creating a culture of the top sales teams, I'm not doing it right now. If I had to guess, I'll sit as a manager for a couple more months because I want to hand select the best setters, closers and a future manager that will help build what will become one of the best coaching programs in the industry. Did I just say that out loud? Yeah, yes I did. If I can't say that now as my ambition, I am not playing big enough and I am here to do something different that makes me so uncomfortable, that will require me to make just as courageous of a decision that my daughter made as she went down that snow tubing event. That level of courage. So before I end, I want to show you how I ended the event. I was invited to a VIP networking event where we were surprised with an ice sculpting challenge.

Jasmine Star 00:17:41  Okay, so like it. Just as a side note, like I go to this eight figure mastermind and I'm thinking, oh, we're just gonna mastermind all day. And they're like, welcome, you are going to carve ice. So I was paired with Mike. He is a CFO from a financial consulting firm that he runs with his twin brother from Philadelphia. We worked together for 30 minutes to sculpt this drawing. Okay. And I don't want to brag. I think we killed it. Maybe I'm just a homeschooler or anything. That everything I do is, like, so creative and awesome, but I think we killed it. So if this whole, like, business thing doesn't work out, at least I know I have a career as an ice sculptor. Many thanks to Cole Gordon, to Sue Richards in the entire closers IO team, and many thanks to you for watching and listening and supporting the Jasmine Store Show. I appreciate you being on this journey, and if you think this episode can help somebody, please be sure to pass it their way because it makes a difference in their lives, and it also makes a difference in mine.

Jasmine Star 00:18:33  Thank you.