This week we are getting ~GRANULAR~ on the connection that our stress has to our intimacy and hormonal health. Kate Morton, registered dietician and founder of Funk It Wellness, is back on Bedside to get real on how cortisol impacts every aspect of our wellbeing. We get detailed on all things root causes, your "why" behind wellness, happy hormone rituals, libido, and so much more!
PS. Use code: BEDSIDE for 15% off Funk It's product suite! My favorites are the seed cycling kit and the cacao maca latte!!!! Pinky promise you'll be kinda really obsessed.
We're chatting:
📥 Download Monthly Archetype Template
💌 Subscribe to the Sealed List Newsletter
💘 Let's be internet friends!!
Connect with Kate:
Be sure to rate, review, and share this episode with a friend! LOVE YOU!
This week we are getting ~GRANULAR~ on the connection that our stress has to our intimacy and hormonal health. Kate Morton, registered dietician and founder of Funk It Wellness, is back on Bedside to get real on how cortisol impacts every aspect of our wellbeing. We get detailed on all things root causes, your "why" behind wellness, happy hormone rituals, libido, and so much more!
PS. Use code: BEDSIDE for 15% off Funk It's product suite! My favorites are the seed cycling kit and the cacao maca latte!!!! Pinky promise you'll be kinda really obsessed.
We're chatting:
📥 Download Monthly Archetype Template
💌 Subscribe to the Sealed List Newsletter
💘 Let's be internet friends!!
Connect with Kate:
Be sure to rate, review, and share this episode with a friend! LOVE YOU!
Music. Hello hello welcome back to the bedside podcast i'm your host tatiana if you are new here welcome i'm so excited to have you here we're a podcast series that talks all about dating sex love relationships a little bit of manifestation because you know how it is and if you aren't new here welcome back i'm so excited to have you guys here happy new year i know we've already kind of like kicked off well into the new year but everything just still feels like fresh and new I just want to say thank you so much for listening to the show. I've been reflecting a lot on what Bedside was in 2023, how much growth we had, and just how much more I feel like I've come into my own over the past couple years hosting this show. So I'm just so, so thankful. This show would be nothing without you guys listening, truly. And I'm really excited for everything that's to come in 2024. I'm excited to bring even more aligned guests on the show. I'm excited to record more solo episodes, give you guys some more deep dives. So there's so much to come. Oh, and my quickies with Amanda. I mean, that I feel like is only just beginning. We have so much fun. I love that series so much. So anyways, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And yeah, I'm just really excited for everything that's to come this season. So for today's episode, happy Wednesday, day, you guys. Today, I've got Kate Morton back on the show. We've had her here once before. She's the founder of Funk It Wellness. She's also a registered dietitian that specializes in happy hormones, hormone health. And on the show before, we've had her come on to talk about seed cycling, which is the primary basis of her business, Funk It Wellness. And we've chatted a lot about the preliminary reason why she started Funk It Wellness, what seed cycling is, and kind of just like a seat cycling 101. So if you are interested in kind of learning more about that, I will link that in the show notes. But today, Kate is back to really get a lot more granular about. Kind of like our happy hormones and what that means. We're diving very deep into cortisol, our stress hormone, and Kate shares her journey about how she kind of realized her cortisol was off. Hint, I think a lot of our cortisol in a lot of the population is off. And so I think you'll very much relate to kind of what each of us have gone through because I've had a similar experience to Kate as well. We talk a lot about the cortisol hormone, her journey with kind of regulating her stress and signs of high cortisol, what that can mean, and really like the rituals and practices and ways that you can actually begin to be more mindful of it and bring your cortisol and stress levels back to a more regular place. So honestly, today's episode, we get very into rituals. We talk a lot about wellness rituals, what I think a lot of like the media talks about in terms of like wellness and routines, and honestly, a lot of the pressures that come with it. And I feel like we kind of debunk a lot of that. And Kate shares with us the ways that she has customized her rituals to really work for her, what those are, and how those have directly impacted the way that she copes with stress and her own happy hormones. We also talk about intermittent fasting and just all the different ways that you can kind of begin to regulate your hormones through nutrition. And then we also dive into a lot of conversation around libido. This is something I've been very eager to talk about more. So stay tuned for an episode that goes a lot more deep into this and gets a little bit more kind of nitty gritty on this topic because I think it's something that a lot of people are a bit shy to actually talk about. And honestly, it's just not that normalized in our day-to-day conversations. Sex is just not normalized in our day-to-day conversations. And I think a lot of us feel alone in our own libido and what that can mean for us. So we talk a lot lot about that and Kate gives some really great advice on how we can begin to kind of balance that whether or not you're on hormonal birth control whether or not you're off birth control a lot of advice on how we can begin to work with our hormones regardless of what other pharmaceuticals that we're taking to kind of stay sexually well because honestly never on the show are we here to kind of like bash all of the different options that are available it's less about giving anybody a prescribed way of taking care of their sexual wellness it's more about like what are we going going to do? What are the protocols we're going to take to stay well based off of the options that we choose? Because listen, I know like there's a lot of dialogue out there about like birth control is bad. And listen, I've had my own horror story with it. It doesn't work for me, but I will never, never negate the wonders that it has on other people's lives. And so I think it's really great that we both came into this conversation, acknowledging that and giving really great advice for whichever camp you are in. Because listen. All is great. All is well. So anyways, that being said, I'm really excited for you to tune into this episode with Kate. I promise you already that she'll be back. She has become such a fast friend of mine, and I really adore what she's building. I love what she has to say. I already want to pick her brain on so many more things. So stay tuned. We'll definitely be having her back, if not this year, sometime next year. So it will be soon enough. Anyways, I hope you you love this episode, be sure to check out Funk It Wellness. She'll link all of the stuff in the conversation when we chat. They're also on the show notes. And yeah, I can't wait for you guys to get inspired. And honestly, this is just such a feel-good episode. So tune in, have a good time, and I'll catch you on the other side. Without further ado, please welcome Kate Morton to the bedside podcast. Music. Hi, guys. Welcome back to the bedside podcast. Today, I have got one of my favorite human beings on the show. It's so funny because we haven't known each other that long, but I adore you. This is Kate Morton, everybody. We've had Kate on once before to talk about kind of like seed cycling. She's got an amazing seed cycling company, hormonal health company called Podfunkit Wellness, which again, I talk on and on about on the podcast and on my stories all the time because I just really believe in all of the products that she's developed and it's just so amazing to chat with her. So anyways, without further ado, Kate, welcome back to bedside. Thank you for having me. I adore you right back. And like, I've become such a bedside fan. Like, of course, like following on Instagram, listening to the new episodes, the internet can be such a cool place of like community. So thanks for having me back. I love getting to come talk. Yes. Oh my god. No, I know. I feel like probably one of the coolest things of looking back on 2023 for me was, and we were talking a little bit off air about this, because Kate and I are talking about potentially doing a fun like collab event. I think it's been so cool to take people I've known on the internet and actually make something substantial about it, right? Like actually making internet friends is so much fun and then real beautiful things can come of it. I feel like there's been such a, obviously a surgence of dating online and meeting the lovers of your life online. But I think there's so much to be said with like making friends online as well. And we're all so busy. Like, you know, when you're working and all these things, I just feel like online is like a natural place. We're spending a lot of time there. So So it makes sense we'd make our friends there. It totally does. Well, anyways, I'm really excited to chat with you today because I feel like on our last episode, we chatted so much about seed cycling. And I feel like, guys, tune into that. I'll link it in the show notes as kind of like a really great starting point about Kate's story, how she started Funk It Wellness and really like what seed cycling is and how we can kind of use nutrition to take care of our hormones and our hormonal health. But I feel like today would be a great opportunity to kind of take like a next level deep dive into everything. And I think lately I've seen you talking a lot on Funkit's page about specifically the hormone of cortisol. And cortisol is our stress hormone. I'll have you chat so much more about that, but how it actually has had such an impact. And I've got a couple of stories myself, but I just like would love to hear a little bit more about your journey with discovering the hormone of cortisol and how it was impacting you because I personally believe it impacts each and every single one of us. So I know like you'll hear anybody listening, you'll probably hear yourself in a little bit of Kate's story. But yeah, let's kick off there. Let's talk about cortisol. And it's perfect because all this has unfolded, I'm pretty sure, since the last time we recorded. And it's interesting because, yes, cortisol is your stress hormone, and it does a lot of great things. Like it wakes you up in the morning. Cortisol is what wakes you up. It's connected to your circadian rhythm. And a long time ago, when you're running from a lion, or if you're in a really like life or death, fight or flight situation, cortisol is your best friend. The biggest issue is now a stressful email from work actually isn't a life or death situation, but our body can't really determine the difference. And so cortisol, when it gets out of whack, this is my biggest learning. It is a cascade effect and it is a hormone and it impacts your other hormones. So before I like go to sciencey, I'll just give you guys a rundown of kind of like how I knew something was up. So last year I was just so tired. I couldn't get out of bed. Like my periods were regular or everything with my period was good. And I was like, okay, I don't think this is like an immediate period issue, but I was so tired. My hair was falling out and my face was so puffy and I have a naturally round face and round feature. This was different. It was like under my eyes, around my mouth, under my chin, like just so much inflammation that I could see. It got hard to not see it. And then I went to a male doctor and was like, I just feel like something's wrong. Like something's wrong. Look at how puffy I am, blah, blah, blah, blah. He looks me in the eye and goes, I mean, you're turning 30 next year. It's probably just aging. You should go see a dermatologist. And I was like, sir, are you kidding me? Oh my God, the audacity. What? And so I was like, this is why I don't go to the doctor. This is literally why. So that's like the little snippet of how my cortisol like really big deep dive I've started. And so I was looking in the mirror. I wasn't recognizing the person I was seeing, and I just felt exhausted. Dry skin, dry hair, dry eyes. My vagina actually wasn't dry. That's like one of the only things that wasn't, which is actually really surprising now that I'm like reflecting back on this situation. But- I finally get in there, get a doctor who doesn't just think I'm getting old, which first off, I'm 29, like not 100. But in like male medical wise, like I guess I might as well be 100. That is so insane, Kate. I just want to say like, I've heard horror stories like this. I've experienced weird stories like this. When you're in a situation, anybody listening, like things like this can happen and it's really messed up. But yeah, you have to advocate for yourself. I literally looked him in the eye and was like, you are not the doctor for me. And I walked out because like, I'm not going to lie to you guys. Like when your appearance is drastically changing and you're trying to cope with feeling horrible, my self-esteem wasn't exactly in a great place. And so having this man just tell me like, you're just getting old and like, this is it. And I also just hate that approach because I don't think that aging, you should still feel well. And this is something I've actually talked with my grandma a lot about recently is how the older you get, the more you just get brushed off. But like, why are we just normalizing feeling bad? Right. That's so true. Like my aging process doesn't have to include me feeling bad. It doesn't. And so I finally found a doctor who would listen to me. Surprise, surprise, an amazing woman. And she runs my labs. Guys, my thyroid antibodies out of control. TSH so high. all my thyroid hormones completely out of balance, my cortisol through the freaking roof. My labs were so crazy. She called me on a Saturday and was like, girl, you are not well. You need to start medicine for hypothyroidism immediately. And we've got to get your cortisol under control. Like you need to stop drinking coffee. You need to start doing sunrise walks. you need to really focus on supporting your adrenals you've got to cut your stress immediately which someone telling you to cut your stress immediately like never works it actually makes you more stressed she's like you gotta stop working so much and you need to stop being a people pleaser and it was so crazy because i never had like a doctor sit me down and really go over like lifestyle changes with me about like wow she was telling me she's like your lifestyle lifestyle is directly impacting your health. Like the amount of stress you have, the amount of work you are doing, like you are literally burning your body down and out. And so that began my almost 12 month journey now of trying to naturally lower my cortisol. And the thing is like, there's really not a magic pill for this. It truly is long-term lifestyle changes, which I saw on TikTok the other Saturday, someone was like, everyone posts about lowering their cortisol, but no one ever told us how to do it. And I think because the answer is really unsexy. It's that you have to change your whole life. And it's kind of like unique to each person. Yes. We each have different reasons and different protocols that would benefit us more than others. Yeah. And I think that's the big point around it is because it's what's causing your stress, both mentally, emotionally, and physically. And that's going to be different for every single one of us. For me, I was working like 90 hours a week. I mean, and it's hard because I love what I do. And so I think that that's what's tricky is like, I love what I do. do. So having to say no and just put some things on the back burner was hard. I also hate telling people no. I love making everyone else happy. And then I also really love drinking coffee and doing all these other things. And for me personally, coffee's never agreed with me and I had to make that change. So I'm a matcha girly now, but there is a lot you can do. For me, my routine looks like like sunrise walk, 13 grams of protein in the morning, no screen time for the first hour of my day, strict work boundaries, making lists, letting things go, saying no, being honest with people like, no, I actually don't want to do that. My friends like know it now. I used to be like, oh yeah, I'll do it. It's saying no. And it's also just remembering that like your health is worth it. You are worth it. And so I think the reason a lot of women have such large cortisol imbalances is I just think it comes down to all of those things. I had to change my whole lifestyle. Yes, I could not agree more. And so I have an interesting story with cortisol myself because I really believe it's kind of like the culprit. A lot of things are a trickle down effect from it. And longtime bedside listeners know this because they have kind of been through a lot of my own hormonal acne journey. And I've had, I remember it was like sometime last year, I interviewed a hormone acne specialist. I'll link the episode below for anybody who's interested. She literally changed my life on the show. After the recording, I was like, can I hire you? I need you. And so I ended up taking one of her courses and working one-on-one with her. And she, through her education process, you kind of learn it even in her course, how much the pillar of cortisol all is that trickle-down effect. And it wasn't until I... And I'm coming full circle here, is it wasn't until I had a reason to really want to make some of these lifestyle changes happen that I actually found the purpose of them. And what I mean by this is anybody chronically on the internet, like the two of us, we're on the internet all the time. All the time. You just hear people always being like, waking up at this time and dropping all their routines, right? And sometimes it's cute and I love seeing it, but it can feel overwhelming. Like, oh my god, like how many things do I need to be doing to quote unquote stay well? And it wasn't until I was like actively in a similar boat as you where I was like, I have a real reason here being I am trying to lower my cortisol levels. The data is data-ing and we need to make some shifts here. And I feel like once you actually have that real reason, you can understand why you're doing all of the practices and rituals that you're doing to stay well. And until then, And it can kind of be like, well, what's the point? Or like, it can just feel like this massive to-do list of things that you think you should be doing. So anyways, that was like a big brain switch for me. I wonder, do you feel like you had a similar moment because of like, obviously working in wellness, you feel like you need to do all the things like cold plunging and sauna-ing and you know what I mean? Like all these things. It's endless. Yes. It's so funny that you say that. I feel like we're always like on the same wavelength. I was thinking about it today when I was mixing up my little electrolytes and all the things I was doing about my why. And it's like, I was so sick last year. I couldn't get out of bed and I have never experienced that in my life. I also got diagnosed with celiac, which like the whole other, I got diagnosed with like a lot of things that make sense now from a long time ago last year. And they just all kind of like hit because I was like going through a really hard time in my life. Your why of why you're doing it. Is what keeps you going. And long-term health is a big why for me. I want to feel good for a long time. And I also think, I don't know if you felt this when you were learning and it clicked, I finally realized I deserve it. I deserve to feel well. I think for so long, I almost just didn't take care of myself because I didn't believe I deserved it. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I totally agree with that. Maybe it was disguised in a different way. I don't know if if I felt like, oh, like I'm not worthy of it, all my actions I was taking were proving that message, right? Like I wasn't like actively being like, I don't deserve this, but I'd be like, oh, well, I'm on a budget. So like, I should not be getting a monthly facial. You know what I mean? Or whatever it is. And then the second I was able to switch that narrative for that why, I was like, no, this actually, this is like more important than my like work to-do list because everything pours out of that and so if you aren't the pinnacle of wellness and well-being for yourself you're not going to be able to do that or be that for anything else that you care about in your life whether it's your relationships your partnership your romance your love life your work life your career your passions like all of that is coming from you as the source so i think i had a similar narrative switch where i was like if i am not feeling and i totally relate with you being like, I hate saying no. It's the hardest thing for me to do. I want to say yes all the time. And so kind of realized like, oh, if I'm not filling my cup first, who is? Clearly no one else is. Like, I'm just like depleting, you know? Yeah. It just feels like you're like bleeding out. You're like, I just can't keep doing this. And yeah, mine wasn't like an active, I don't deserve this, but it wasn't until I switched to my mindset and I was like, I think I had some deep down self-worthiness issues. And I also was in therapy all of last year in conjunction with this. So I think that was a little helpful for the journey. But yeah, cortisol is no joke. And the hard part is it's different for everybody. And I think that's the reason why it is, everyone's routine different. Everyone has different reasons why they have these physical, emotional, and psychological stressors. And you have to get really honest with yourself about what those are. And can you change them yep so if we're going to talk like top three what are big needle movers for you for me and like i will die on this hill because it's something free and and i know it's tricky because it's winter right now but sunrise and sunset walks they can literally be five minutes but getting outside while the sun is rising and going outside while the sun is setting It is proven by a lot of research to reset your circadian rhythm, really help with sleep, really change the way your brain sees the world throughout the day. And I love a free tip. Like I love like you can listen to this podcast and you can try to do this tomorrow. And you know, it's not every single, it might be raining, it might be snowing, all these things. But on most days, get out there and just absorb that sunlight. It's a game changer. drink. The next thing, and it's one I always say that people are like, man, I love coffee. I also love coffee. I'm like, same. But you cannot have coffee on an empty stomach. You have to eat breakfast. You got to try to get 20 to 30 grams of protein in first thing in the morning for that blood sugar balance. And then you can have your coffee. Or you could try matcha because with my facial swelling that came with my high cortisol, the L-theanine and matcha was so helpful that it made me forget how much I loved coffee. Because I was like, oh, what is this? I have a jaw again. I love that so much. Matcha is amazing. And I actually agree with you. So coffee doesn't, actually, I shouldn't say that. I was about to say coffee doesn't impact me that much, but I have created really strong boundaries with it. So I run a little anxious. I used to deal with a panic disorder that I think I've mostly healed for the most part, but that came on with kind of like a traumatic experience that God bless therapy for that one. Therapy is important for this journey too. I know. When I was going through a lot of that, I had to cut out things like caffeine because it was like anxious people know this. Sometimes caffeine is just that extra overstimulant that like makes your heart race already more and you're like, oh, I did not need that. So I kind of already was paring it back. But for me, I have a totally new relationship with coffee, which is that I have one shot of espresso that I mix. By the way, guys, I'm not even plugging this because I'm recording with Kate. I'm so obsessed with Funk It Wellness. You guys just made a maca cacao latte mix, caffeine-free, which that is a product of this cortisol journey because I needed a beverage that was caffeine-free to have in the afternoon. I'm plugging this so hard. This drink has changed my life and I will will say it and I will die on this hill because before Kate made this product, I was DIYing this. It was so funny. I saw your Instagram stories and I literally messaged you and was like, just freaking wait. Yeah. You were like, girl, I see you making this every single day. Just wait. We have a product coming. Anyway, so she's developed this product. I, every morning, just have one drink that I kind of make for myself, which honestly, one shot of espresso Espresso is like not much, but like I'm the girly who like all my friends are going out and they're like ordering espresso martinis and I'm like, I'm good. I can't do that to my body because I already know like that's not going to affect me well. So I also drink my coffee like well after I've woken up like an hour and a half. That's what the research says. 90 minutes. Yeah. Like I just don't need to like pound it to the face. Like I wake up, I want my electrolyte water. I want to meditate. tea. I want to journal. That's for me. Then I'm like, oh, I could use like a little pep in my step to start my day. Here's my coffee. I love it. I've got to try. I love espresso. That's like, I'm also the same. It's not that I never have coffee. It's that my boundary with coffee is very different and I view it very differently. And I only have it in my follicular phase. I don't have it in my luteal phase or on my period, but I need to try it with the mac and latte mix. I you need. It's literally a game changer. The first time I tried your mix, I had it with my espresso and like I made a latte with a little bit of almond milk. So yummy and frothy. It was so good. I like drank it more quick than I normally drink my like morning bevs. And I wanted more of it so bad that I was like, well, it's great that her mix is caffeine free. So I just made like a second one without the espresso in it. I was like, this is so good. I have like two of them a day and like Yeah. I'm not even just saying it because I made it like I just needed a really yummy beverage. But there was one more thing I wanted to say, because this brings back to the coffee thing, because I like caffeine, too. I like feeling like I'm unstoppable, too. And you can be addicted to running on cortisol and running on your stress hormones. And it feels really good until it doesn't. Yes. And then when you crash and burn. It's not fun. So this could be a cautionary tale to anybody. Watch out. Yeah. Let's talk a little bit about that because I think that's actually really important. I think that I'll speak for myself here. I'm sure you're in a similar boat because we had similar experiences. But when you're like a really passionate, excited person, you can sometimes take on a lot because you're like, oh, I'm not only doing my nine to five, but I'm also doing this fun side project. And I'm also you know what I mean like there's can be a million things I'm running my own company I'm doing it's like it's coming from a good place because it's like you're just excited you're passionate about what you do you want to show up 110 but I think it's important to kind of like you're saying like realize a bit of the addiction in it and it can be as simple as for me I'll just get really granular with kind of maybe some like signs that you might be addicted and I'm curious to get some of like your signs as well. But for me, one of the biggest changes I made around my own cortisol was being like, when it's nighttime after I've had my dinner and I'm hanging out and watching TV, I can't have my laptop. We are not pulling out the computer because traditionally me on the hamster wheel being really excited and passionate, kind of being addicted to my cortisol high, I'd be like on the computer watching TV and then I'd I'd be on Pinterest doing cute things. But the next thing I'd know, my like Adobe software would be open and I'd be like designing a graphic. I'd be like typing something out or like emailing somebody back quickly. And then it would turn into just like extending my work. And I'd be downstairs. It's 930 p.m. 10 p.m i have to go to bed in like 30 minutes trying to get a good night's sleep wind down it's not happening so anyways that's like a kind of a small example but i think there are these little things that i think kate and i are indicating that can be tweaked if you're really trying to like examine your relationship to stress what about you i'm the same okay i can't be on my computer at night because i'm the same i'll get so excited and like i run funk it i see private Private clients, again, like I've taken on some new things and I'm like, I just need clear boundaries. And I think the thing I realize is there's always going to be something to do, especially like when you're working on your own thing or just if you care about your job. Like if you just care about what you're doing, there will always be more. You're never going to completely get through your to-do list. So I'm really big about top three priorities. What are my top three priorities that feed into my bigger goals? If I get nothing done, but these three things today, I've done enough. So that's like one thing. The other thing that I've just like realized around stress is speaking my mind because I actually think so much too of like what was bothering me was personal stuff too. I was just saying yes. I was putting my own needs aside. I wasn't communicating my needs. I didn't even know my needs because I wasn't in touch enough. So yeah, that's one of my big signs. One, same as you, no computer because I will do the exact same thing. And I've also been trying to like read instead of watch TV. And that's been really helpful with my cortisol, although I get very into books and then I like don't want to put them down and stay up late. But that's a big one for me is working at night and like sleep. Sleep is so important. So whatever you can do to safeguard your sleep routine. That is like priority number one. Yes. I literally have on my list for this year, like way more sleep because I can get in the habit of I used to be like someone who used to say I don't need a lot of sleep because in theory I don't. I'm not someone who if I'm a little bit sleep depleted, it's going to like ruin my next day. Like it's not super apparent, but it is super apparent over time that long term impact of being like sleep deprived. So I love that for you. I love that you're like reading. I think it's just, I don't know, like we're in this just hyper digital culture and it's like you wake up in the morning, you're like on your phone, you go to your laptop, you get on your Peloton, like it's like screen to screen to screen to screen to TV, like, you know, so it's like it's nice to try and find just moments of pause. It is just moments to relax. And I implemented a five minute meditation practice and I used to be someone who used to like roll my eyes like everyone's meditating. It's like the cure to everything, whatever. No, it is. It's actually great. Like I actually look forward to it every day. And I just do five minutes and I was listening to the Liz Moody podcast and she was talking about meditation because I was like, I'm not a meditator. I'm an overthinker. That's a horrible idea for me. Why would I do that? I was like so annoying about it. And she said like every time your mind wanders, bring it back. And that's like one rep. So like if you're in the gym doing like a glute bridge, it's like one rep. And so you think about bringing your mind back is a rep like you would be working out in the gym. And it reframed my meditation like, oh, not that I'm bad at this. I'm practicing. I'm getting better. I'm putting in reps. It's really helpful. Yes. Yes. And sometimes like I'm a huge proponent of meditating. Like I do it every single morning. I'm kind of annoying like that, but I do it quickly. Like it's not like this crazy practice. Also, for anybody who's like wanting to experiment, I found this really great girl on Spotify called Purely Being. Totally free. No like annoying ads. I'll link it. and I've done the headspace and the calm apps and all that sort of stuff. This is the first person I've listened to that feels like she's my jive. She's like perfectly spiritual, perfectly like crystal girly woo woo, but also like tethered to being a bad bitch. We love that. And so I love meditation so much. And I really agree with you. Like, gosh, I've been kind of like in and out of a practice for a really long time. And it's less about having a busy mind. It's like that's always going to be a thing. Sometimes I sit down and it's like the chatter is chattering. I'm like, whoa. But that's just me kind of then able to take a bird's eye view and be like, damn, I've got a busy brain today. What can we do? I'm not going to blame my brain for being like this right now, but it's like, what can I do to just take note of that and take some extra care today in whatever way that needs to be done? So love meditation. Yes. Okay, I'm curious, kind of switching gears here. I would love to talk a little bit about sex with you just because I know that sex can be something that can be like really great for people, especially with helping with cortisol. But also sometimes I think it can be like stressful. I think what I'm trying to say is everybody has a different response to sex and intimacy when they're in like a high cortisol state. So tell me a little bit about the way that you have leaned into your own intimacy practices, whether that's like solo play or kind of having conversations around this with your partner. Because I know sex can be something really beneficial for unwinding. It's also super great for our longevity and like overall health and well-being. So yeah, tell me a little bit about kind of what that has meant for you. Yeah, I'm somebody just being real with you guys. Like when I'm really stressed, sex is the last thing on my mind. I wish it was the opposite. Like I wish that's all I was thinking about, but it's the last thing in my mind. But the thing I keep really present is it is important. And it's one of those things like sometimes like I think when you're in these stressful situations where cortisol overload, you're dealing with health issues, you're not feeling like I wasn't feeling super good about myself. It was just communicating all of that communication around sex. It's so funny. Like when I was younger, like teenager, I just thought about about sex, like being sex. And then the older I get, the more I'm like, communication is actually like the heart of sex for the most part. And so for me, it was like over communicating how I felt, but also allowing myself to enjoy, to be in the mood, to be excited about sex, giving myself just a little bit of mental space to take a moment, like. Am I really not in the mood or am I just overwhelmed? And like, maybe I just need a minute and I actually will really enjoy this. And so that's what I started doing was just like getting myself a pause of like, let me check in with my body because then like actually you get into it, like your foreplay and you like things start moving and you're like, wait, this is really fun. Why did I almost say no to this? This is like so great. And so I think my biggest thing with sex over that time when I've really been working on cortisol was mentally, can I just check in with myself and like if no is the answer that's okay is this really like I don't want it or am I just think I don't and most time when I would sit and give myself five minutes to relax I'd be like oh no this is actually like fun and exciting like I do want to do this and so yeah I think sex is tricky because I think everyone just has such a different response and when you're so overwhelmed it might be the last thing on your mind but I also do think that's where like solo play can come in because then it can get you in the mood and like be a relaxation practice. And then layering in that communication is just for me, like that is what my whole sex life of when my sex life got really good was when I learned to communicate around my sex life, which is not easy, but it's so worth it. Oh, yeah, it's so worth it. Yeah, I think it's just when you're also maybe speaking more for like longer term partnerships, you can get into the ebb and flow of just like libido and desire. And so I guess learning to communicate sooner than later about all of these things that are very natural is just going to help you with just how the natural evolution of one's sex life goes. Also with libido, maca is great for libido, energy, and vitality. And back to the maca collagen latte, that's also something I just put in my routine because it's It's an adaptogen that helps you with stress and anxiety. I'm all about like the ritual. So like I need like a ritual, a getting ready. I need it to be the whole thing. I even think too, like if you can, it doesn't have to be a maca collagen latte. You can come up with any kind of like having a chamomile tea, tart cherry juice, any of these things that are helpful for stress reduction. I like love a little like sexy beverage to get in a sexy mood and a beverage that doesn't contain alcohol. Because when I stopped drinking last year, I had to find new ways to like make my brain think like oh sexy drink sexy time type thing. That's so smart that is so creative I love that yeah it's like giving your brain the little cues that you can move on to the next thing and I think especially like when you're in the throes of a work week or something and your brain is just like so elsewhere it's like really hard to transition to being like oh yeah now is the time to wind down and like be intimate with my partner and And I find personally, again, going back to just like being a really excited person and kind of having a kooky schedule at times, like I'm like, I want to be the person who gets it all done. And it's just it sometimes doesn't happen. Like I can't I cannot work out, be mindful, meditate, have an awesome work day, crank shit out, record podcasts, make dinner and like have a fulfilling sex life every single day. Like it's just not going to happen. Like it's not always going to happen. And I think like not beating yourself up too. sometimes sex just isn't the priority but sometimes it does need to be and sometimes it is really important but like. Sometimes you just gotta let it go yeah i totally agree for me i was thinking too like a big thing that i do to wind down at night is i love taking magnesium when you were saying l-theanine earlier i was like oh yes so that has been like really really major for me as part of my like okay work day done laptop closed go on walk take magnesium like chilled the fuck out right like we've like turned the page and i remember what i wanted to say earlier was that when it comes to sex, something really interesting that really helped me was when I kind of learned about how there are two different, I'm sure there's more than two, but people talk a lot about the two different types of the ways that you respond to desire, either being kind of like a spontaneous response or a responsive desire response. Being that like some people are, this kind of goes to like the erotic blueprints, which is kind of what turns you on sexually, but basically spontaneous spontaneous desire is like you could just i could like turn to kate and be like do you want to have sex and you'd be like yeah you know what i mean like you're like spontaneous you're ready you're easily kind of like able to switch on like that then there are people who are responsive desire i could be like kate do you want to have sex you'd be like what you'd be like so caught off guard i feel like that's me all the time i'm like wait what what right now like literally in an email like ah I actually fall into kind of more of a spontaneous desire category my partner is responsive until I kind of learned a little bit more about this it took me a while to be like what's going on and then realizing oh my partner needs like time to warm up I'm like thinking of Lauren Bostic quote like feel me up before you fuck me like literally he's like like I'm realizing like not all people right are built like me like I was like oh what what do you mean you're you're not just like down. And so. I think, again, like kind of taking that it's really simple, like concept and kind of like reflecting, like, where do I sit in this kind of desire pool? There's obviously a spectrum and there's probably way more different types, but those are kind of like two distinct versions. And then being like, OK, well, what can I do with this information now and how can I build this in? And I also learned about myself like, yeah, you know what? I actually am not always 100 percent spontaneous. Sometimes I also need to give myself the treatment of the like easing into the responsiveness and having the ritual that kind of like gets me into a place where I am feeling desired and like sexy and sensual because it's just not always the case. So anyways. And it changes with your cycle, like going back, thinking about your cycle, my follicular phase and my ovulatory phase, I am like game on, let's go. My body is just like in mine are so focused on sex. And then when I transition over to my luteal phase, I am a much much more responsive. I need a lot more time to get in that mindset. And so, you know, also like when it comes to libido, give yourself a break, look at where you are in your cycle, make a nice little mocktail, wind yourself down. Like it takes time. Like, I think that's the thing that like society and like movies and stuff don't show is like, they think everything should just happen immediately. And like, I think I read a stat that it's like for most women, it takes 45 minutes to to reach full arousal, that's a long time. Gotta make it all sensual, in my opinion. That's with my cortisol journey. It's just, I took my mind a lot longer to get in that mode. Because I think last time we recorded, it was even before all of this, I was in such a good sex life. Everything was going really well in that area. And then all the cortisol stuff happened and I got sick and then I won't. And now I'm slowly getting back into it. So yeah, just remembering it's cyclical too. Yes, of course. And like, you're going to go through seasons and it's okay. No need to beat yourself up for it. Like you were saying, being in communication around it makes it so much easier because you're like, look, I just acknowledge this, even with your partner, whoever you're dating and just being like, it's not a forever thing. We're both working on it. And like, we'll get back to like whatever cadence feels great for us and like what works for us. So I love that. I think we need to be having way more conversations about this. I feel like lately I've been thinking about it. I'm noodling on how to kind of do maybe a solo episode about this in some capacity. But I've just had so many conversations with people even in their 20s and early 30s about this. And no one wants to talk about it because it seems like something you deal with when you're in, I don't know, this is me speaking in my late 20s. You always imagine like, oh, this is something that people in midlife and menopause are dealing with, right? But it's It's like, no, this is so real. I think you should totally do a solo episode on it because, and like, I also think like people don't want to sit when you're with your girlfriends. You don't want to sit around and be like, oh yeah, like I, I never want to have sex. You don't like want to be judged by other people. And I think that society just like puts an all or nothing mindset around sex. And it's like, can we just have like an honest conversation that sometimes life is stressful and sometimes you don't feel good. Good and then like how do you come out of that like how do you make it fun and it's like so much about confidence too like sex it's just such a multifactorial so much more than just physical practice it's so much mental energy too and how do you make your partner whoever you're having sex with like how do you make the mental energy if you're just worried about the house being messy and the dishes not being done in the work you didn't get done an email you didn't send like. Of course you're not also thinking about getting banged like it's like not happening like it's not like that's not like what you're thinking about you're thinking about how you're going to get all those things done yes exactly no it's so real though and like I think there just needs to be a little bit more of like we just need to crack through a bit of the facade that I think a lot of us carry around this and it comes with that weird pressure of like well how many times a week are you doing it? You know what I mean? And it's like, we got to drop this narrative. It's so wild. So anyways, more on that to come. Love that. Love it. Wow. What else? I think another big thing when it comes to libido is birth control that we talked about a little bit in the last episode. So when we're thinking about birth control and libido and hormones, hormones one low libido can be an indicator of a hormonal imbalance and we did talk about i think in our last episode so like looking at that but also like birth control can change libido and coming off birth control can change libido and take time so i think that's the other thing is like looking at the pharmaceutical side of libido is really interesting like antidepressants can cause low libido there's so many other aspects i think that aren't talked about a lot i would I would totally agree with you. It's really interesting because, and you're actually the best person to ask this because I've even had a lot of friends ask me, I've had a couple of people like write in inquiring about this, kind of being like, I deal with, I'm struggling with my libido. I am on hormonal birth control. Do things like seed cycling help? Do these other holistic interventions, because I'm taking pharmaceuticals, are they going to like impact me the same way that it would somebody who's not on hormonal birth control in that case. So I'm curious, what is your take? That's such a good question. So I have a few hot takes and they're not necessarily super like backed up takes, but from my experience and all the clients I've worked with in my own personal experience. So one, actually how I found maca was when I was still on birth control and living in New Zealand because maca is an adaptogen that can help with energy, vitality, and libido. And as far as they know, it does not interfere with birth control. That's the other thing you have to look at is like, you don't want to start taking a supplement that's going to interfere with your birth control because it's doing its job. So one, maca is great. You want to go for gelatinized maca. It's an adaptogen that helps. And it did help me a lot when I was on birth control with libido. The other thing we want to look at, you could totally seed cycle. It's great for like plugging in those vitamins and minerals and nutrients that you're missing because that's the other thing. So like, obviously you're not ovulating when you're on birth control. That's the whole point. And so that is a big driver of female libido in general. That is one thing that we're not going to bring back because if we did, then the birth control wouldn't be working and you'd have other issues. So there's that. But what I recommend is really still focusing in on those mental and emotional practices, but then making sure... The reason I would say seed cycling would be helpful in that instance is vitamin B6. You want to think about vitamin B6, vitamin E, zinc and magnesium they are all vitamins they get depleted on birth control they are so important for so many reactions in the body and i just think it puts our body into a general state of stress which can impact libido so seed cycling could definitely be helpful because it contains all of the different nutrients but it's just like so dependent person to person and maca was really the thing that did truly help me the most when i was on birth control with my libido because when i was it's not birth control. I was like convinced I was asexual. I was like, I don't even like sex. This is like not for me. And so, and then I got birth control and I'm like, whoa, who is this person? But those would be my recommendations is focus on the mental emotional piece. Look at vitamins and minerals that are depleted. Seed cycling really is great for just helping prep your body if you're wanting to get off. If you're on birth control, it doesn't do like a ton of time, but it helps to prep when you want to get off. And then maca is a great adaptogen that it doesn't interfere with birth control. That is such great advice. I've truly always wanted to know that because literally like I have friends who will be like, because I'll post about fungal all the time. And then they'll be like, can I seed cycle? Like, is this going to do anything? And I'm like, that's a great question. I should ask Kate. So good for your gut health. It's so underrated, the seed cycling benefits for gut health. Like you will have regular poops like nobody's business, which is also really important on birth control because so much of these hormones get excreted through the liver and the digestive system. So cutting down on booze and having regular bowel movements are two of the best ways to support your body on birth control. Just saying. Wow. I did not know alcohol had an effect. Yeah, because it's processed through your liver and that's where all these other hormones are getting processed. And so alcohol is technically poison. So our body's trying to get it out as quickly as possible. And then it deprioritizes the other things that need to get processed. Very, very interesting. It just reminded me because in your seed cycles, isn't it flaxseed with like omegas? Yeah. Omega-3 fatty acids in the flax seeds so great for inflammation yes that is something that helped me tremendously with my own like cortisol and also specifically my hormonal acne i kind of was avoiding a lot of like oils and like all these different things and i feel like i was just like drying out my skin and then the second i got on this like acne protocol that also included taking different like omega-3 fatty acids. I started seed cycling. And then also physically, like my skin loves oils. Mine does too. And I had hormonal acne too for so long, but my skin, like I lather up at night now and like no breakouts. Like you can see that we both have clear skin now. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's kind of wild. So I'm just like always so fascinated, like all the things that we can kind of do with nutrition and just like those effects that it truly can impact on even even just like our desire and our sensuality. I know we were kind of talking about rituals that you feel like bring us into the moment of staying sensual and just like wanting to relax, which then I think as a byproduct can bring on more intimacy. But aside from kind of like having these like nighttime rituals that you do, what else do you implement in your day to day that you feel like really helps you stay chill in the long term? Did you cut down significantly on like how much you you were working like I want to know all of these details. Yeah, I cut down a lot on how much I was working. And that was really hard for me. And so I cut down on how much I was working. I implemented the meditation, I implemented the morning walks, I implemented electrolytes in my day, I think it's just really important because I was not getting enough water and hydration that was just like not happening for me. The other thing that my partner and I have like really started doing and we call it like platonic touch, but it's not like technically platonic, but like touching each each other more in not a sexual way which then he was like so funny the day he was like okay so me touching you in a non-sexual way makes you want to have sex and I'm like yes but just like more like affection and touch that's not because you sometimes it's like you just get touchy like right before you're gonna have sex and it's like I like physical touch all the time and so, even just like more touching has really helped like calm me down. Like I've noticed that like just like that little bit of touch, like it gives me like a lot of peace. And then obviously I said I switch. Yeah. Matcha for instead of coffee in the morning, I have a maca latte every afternoon at three. It's like my little ritual. And I don't really drink anymore, which was really hard. I didn't drink for 12 months after I started all of this. Like it was like six months before and then six months after, I really don't drink anymore. And like, I love like a good cocktail and going out and I drink a little bit now, like a little bit of wine here and there. But I've just noticed my inflammation gets so much worse. So that's another thing that I did. The coffee and the wine, there's like, they were the hardest things for me. Yeah, I can imagine. I'm like a light drinker at this point. It was so funny. We went out for New Year's and like I was with really good friends of mine, but they love like drinking and they love cocktails and all things and which is so fun. Like I'll lean in for the moment. But But that next morning I woke up, I still didn't even drink half of what they were drinking. I still woke up and I was like, this is why. Like I wasn't like hungover with a capital H. I just get anxiety. Yeah, right? Like I don't need the extra layer of it. Wait, I also want to ask you, do you, like what's your fitness routine? Oh, yeah. So I love my little fitness routine right now. So I'm very into exercising with my cycle and cycle syncing my workouts. But we've really been trying to budget more in this past year. So like I used to have a really fancy reformer Pilates membership, but I canceled it like all like a sauna membership and all these things. And I don't do those things anymore. So my little fitness routine is this is kind of incorporated. I got a red light from my house, which I love. Wait, do you mean like you plug it into a light bulb red light? Yeah. Well, it's like a whole red light panel that I sit in front of. And so I got one for my house on Black Friday and I love that. And that's kind of how I like start my, I do that before I work out, which there's no research behind that. It just helps me get like in the mood to work out. I really like the Sculpt Society app. So it's with Megan Roop. It's like the Pilates app. so I use that and I don't use their cycle syncing program I do it on my own like I kind of like to pick them on my own I do that and there's an app called the ladder app which is a weightlifting app that I've been really into so I've been doing both of those at home. And we have a gym in our neighborhood. Like I live in like a little plant community and we have a gym. And so I've been doing that coupled with eight to 10,000 steps a day walking. And I feel so good. I don't do high intensity anymore because my doctor literally was like, your cortisol is way too high. You cannot go do high intensity. So I'm still like doing a lot of the lower intensity. And then when I'm ovulating, I'll go on like two runs, like a month basically. Yeah. And you know what? you'll ease back in yeah into kind of like something that feels a little more balanced if you eventually want to like bring in more i don't know if i want to i really like i'm chilling i like it i know i know i like really had a long phase and i feel like now i'm like kind of integrating but it's more because my body wants it like i'm just listening to my body just being like oh i want more like more of a workout you know and so just like following those cues but yeah i love that so much also normalize chilling the fuck out on spending a shit ton of money on all of these like memberships like i was spending so much kate it makes so transparent too like i just had such a moment and i don't know if it's because i'm like edging on 30 but like i just had a moment where i was just like tatiana like get a fucking grip and also i get it guys like and i know all of us are feeling it like it's a recession like let's be for fucking real But I was like, please get a grip on all of your like things that you are just swiping, swiping, swiping your credit card for and like just simplify. And so I feel like I know something changed. Like I really feel like a knob was turned in my head earlier in December where I was just like, OK, like I'm really just going to be so much more mindful about even like how much money I'm spending on like these practices and being like, how can I get the same impact without having to do the bougie thing or whatever it might be? And there are things, don't get me wrong, that like I still spend a pretty penny on because I've seen how much they benefit me. But there's other things where I'm like, I don't need that. That's the thing is like, I was spending all this money on these fancy gym memberships. And I was like, I'm really just paying for an accountability partner at this point. And I kind of like being truly transparent with you guys. I was spending like$500 a month between all my different memberships. And I'm spending like $20 a month now for my apps. And I'm literally getting the same results. And I just had to make a choice that I was going to do it. And I had the same like turning 30 this year. And like I had the same like a call of like the lifestyle creep I had allowed was ridiculous. Ridiculously. Yes. I was just spending so much. It's the fucking internet normalizing it too. And I'm just like, let's chill out. It was crazy. I'll be also really transparent. I like have a gym down the street for $200 a month for. I was paying for a Soho house gym and like global membership as well that I like was using until I found this new gym. So it was double time paying. I had a Pilates membership and a yoga membership and I was paying for my Peloton and going to tennis clinics girl it's a lot and then i was paying to go to like the sauna cold punch place and like i was like doing all these different things and then i like i like hate looking at how much things cost like i like it makes me feel sick but then i was like i have to be honest with myself of like this is too much and yeah it is like tiktok and the internet and like i want to be this fitness wellness pilates girl but it's like come on like yeah that's why i love the sunrise walk tip because it's just like, it's free. You can go do it. You don't need a $200 Pilates membership for it. 100%. I love that we're having this conversation because it's just so real. And it goes back to kind of like the beginning of our conversation, which is just like this pressure to feel like you need to do all of the things. And like if you are someone who's like wellness inclined, like you're excited about it. I'm like twist my arm, right? Like for to do all these fun things. But like at the end of the day, it's like, let's be realistic here. We don't have to like drain ourselves at the expense of this. And I think we're similar souls. Like I'm kind of like want to bury my head in the sand and not look at anything like too closely. And then you're like, oh, gosh, I have to. Yeah. I'm getting older. I'm getting older. I don't have an excuse anymore. I know. Listen, 25 and under, go fuck around. You're fine. When you're a little older, it's not as cute to be bad with money. I know. Now I'm just older and haven't learned my lesson. I know. Seriously. Oh, my God. So funny. Well, Kate, I love having you on. I'm really excited. We'll keep you guys posted. But Kate, like I said, at the beginning of this episode, Kate and I are really trying to plan on doing an IRL event in Austin at some point this year. So more details to come because we have to like align and flesh a few things out. But we're really excited about the possibility of that. But yeah, tell us a little bit more about kind of where we can find your products. Products and I don't know, give us your faves right now. What are you like loving product wise at Funkit? Yeah. So I always see like, oh, that's just like a non-negotiable for me. And you guys definitely should go listen to that episode. We recorded on seed cycling. It's like one of my favorite ones I've ever recorded. So if you don't know what seed cycling is, go check that out. But of course seed cycling and then my maca latte, like I just like cannot harp on it enough. And like, I know I sound so biased because I know that I invented it and created it, but it's just been a game changer for me. I'm such a beverage girly and especially giving up booze. It was like, I just like need something to look forward to in the evening. And I actually just make it with water because it has the powdered organic coconut in there. And so my maco latte, I love for my birth control girlies. The cycle bites are definitely the way to go. I designed those just for you. They've got all the nutrition you need to replenish for birth control. So those are for you. And then, so that's like my fun kit products I'm loving. I've been very into Cure Electrolyte Powder, C-U-R-E, Cure. And they are a more natural electrolyte powder. They do still have some natural flavors in there, but they're really clean and they don't make me bloated at all, which I have a very sensitive tummy. So they're great. I have two of those a day. I'm very into the electrolyte vibe. And then my red light I got on Amazon, which I know like the hardcore wellness care lights are gonna be cringed in there and be like, oh my gosh, you got it on Amazon. on, but I did a lot of research and. It's a good one. So I've been very into doing red light and I've been very into reading. I joined a book club and it's like been the light of my life lately. I feel very blessed to be in this book club. So I'm feeling I'm really embracing turning 30. I'm like, I am ready to be in my thirties. I'm here for it. Me too. Oh, I actually started seeing clients again. So I see private hormonal nutrition clients again. I only take a few people a month. I do have a wait list, but I would love to work with you guys. And you can find all that information at carbs and kate carbs like a piece of bread and kate and then funk it wellness's products are funk it wellness.com and my instagram funk it's instagram is funk it wellness yay oh my god thank you for dropping i'll share everything in the show notes you guys and we have a bedside code if you use code bedside for anything on funk it wellness i think you got a pretty good percentage off and i'm telling you like i love these products so so much. I don't rave a lot about physical products. I really feel like I believe I want to really stand behind everything I preach because I also want to be someone who uses it and can actually advocate for it. And I really mean it. Your brand is awesome and your products are just really efficacious. They fucking work. They have to work, man. We're all too busy to have unbalanced phones. We're too excited about too many things to be worried about our period. it. I know. Seriously. It's so true. Well, anyways, guys, thank you for tuning into this week's episode. Kate will be back. Don't you worry. And yeah, if you love this episode, please share it with a friend. It helps spread the message loud and clear. Rate and review also helps us get the show and all of our amazing guests out there to even more amazing listeners like you. So thank you so much for tuning in. Happy New Year. And I hope that this This was an inspiring episode to help you really get behind your cortisol, your hormones, and all of your routines. All right, guys. We'll chat next week. Bye. Music. Thank you for listening to The Bedside Podcast. I hope you loved this episode as much as we did making it. If you have any feedback, questions, or suggestions for future episodes, or if you just want to chat, don't hesitate to reach out to us at The Bedside on Instagram and thebedside.co online. You can also find us at ByTheBedside on TikTok. To stay updated on our latest episodes, be sure to subscribe to our podcast on your preferred platform. And if you found this episode valuable, I would so greatly appreciate if you could leave us a rating, a review, text it to a friend, share it to your Instagram stories. Let's get this message out there loud and clear. Until next time, thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you next week. Music.