The Sugar Show

What Clients With Anxiety Wish Estheticians Knew (ft. Daria, Just Breathe Confessionals)

• Shannon "The SugarMama" • Season 6 • Episode 9

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What if the best service you offer isn’t a technique, but how you notice? We pull up chairs in the Sugar Mamas lobby with Daria—our social media lead and podcast editor—to explore sensory needs, anxiety, and the small choices that turn a treatment room into a safe room. From the rose scent that reads “too much” to the steam that feels like suffocation, Daria shares what many clients never say out loud and how simple, specific check-ins can change the whole experience.

We dig into intake forms as living documents—beyond meds and allergies—adding clear questions about scent tolerance, temperature, music volume, lighting, hot towels, and step-by-step narration. You’ll hear how to read ultra-quiet clients without guessing, create Plan B product options, and take notes that matter so each return visit starts from care, not trial and error. We also talk practitioner honesty and boundaries: how to set a calm tone on low-social days, stack your schedule to reclaim real rest, and choose tiny resets that protect your energy without hurting your business.

Daria also introduces Just Breathe Confessionals, her new reflective podcast about anxiety, heartbreak, and the messy process of becoming. She explains how speaking truths out loud softens shame and why caregivers—esthetician, sugar pro, or massage therapist—need self-love and community to sustain the work. If you’ve been looking for practical, trauma-informed client care, sensory-friendly skincare tips, and smart burnout prevention for beauty professionals, this conversation meets you where you are.

Listen now, subscribe for more human-centered esthetics, and share this episode with a pro who could use a gentler way to care—for clients and for themselves. Have a question or a sensory tip that works in your room? Drop us a note and join the conversation.

If you’d like to check out Daria’s podcast, Just Breathe Confessionals, you can find her on Instagram @justbreatheconfessionals
and listen anywhere you get your podcasts.


If you’ve connected with or been inspired by this episode in any way, leave us a review and let us know your biggest takeaway - I’d love to hear how you embrace Sugaring For All!! And while you've got your phone out, make sure to follow us on Instagram @Love2Sugar.

If you are interested in our business planner you can find the SugarBoss Planner here --->https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/love2sugar

The link to our Monthly SugarBiz Blueprint: https://www.love2sugar.com/offers/cMhp76LA/checkout

Cheers to your Sweet Success!

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to this episode of The Sugar Show. This one is going to be a little different for us today because I am interviewing one of our favorite members on the Love to Sugar team. As you know, our team is growing leaps and bounds. We have not only educators, but we have ad specialists. We now have a social media manager. We have all kinds of folks to help us strategize to get the word out to you and spread the passion of sugar. So you have seen the work of this beautiful human, but you have not seen her. On this episode, I have Daria with us. I've asked her to come on the show for many, many reasons, mostly because we have such great conversations in general, but also because she is has a really great um perspective on being a client that has sensory struggles, I guess you would say. And also she has become inspired to start her own podcast, which I think you will find to be very interesting and heartwarming. And it will really touch a little part of you that maybe might resonate with you because you are experiencing similar things, or maybe your clients uh experience similar experiences to Daria, and you can uh relate in many, many ways. So this episode again is just a little bit different. We are sitting in the lobby of Sugar Mamas in Folsom, California, and we are just shooting the breeze. So we're gonna we're gonna just uh just do a little chillaxing and talking about what makes our heart happy. So, Miss Daria, welcome to the sugar show.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00:

She has a cutest giggle, by the way. She's gonna giggle throughout this thing, which is really fun. Um, so Daria, let's just get right into it. Um, you have been our social media manager. Gosh, how long now?

SPEAKER_01:

I think maybe a year and a half.

SPEAKER_00:

Gots, it was before the Sacramento show, so it's easily been a year and a half. Yeah, a year and a half. Yeah, and you have really seen us through a lot in this last little bit. Daria is famous for uh getting me to do random dances and pointing at things. She'll say, Shannon, want you to walk in the room, point up, laugh, and walk out of the room.

SPEAKER_01:

And take off your glasses.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yes. And she always yells at me to take off my glasses because they provide a glare. So Daria started out very shy with me because I have a big bold personality, but then she now quickly has figured out that if she tells me what to do, that um all things go smoother. So again, welcome, Daria, and uh and thank you for your patience with me as a as a subject.

SPEAKER_01:

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so I want to start um with, we're gonna get to your podcast, but I really want to start with talking to you about just what it is that you know, you're a client of ours as well. Yes. And it's a little different for you. Talk about how you are a little bit different than the average person that comes into the treatment room and uh what what your experience has been with sugar so far.

SPEAKER_01:

So I have a lot of sensory issues, I would say. I'm really sensitive to smells, and a lot of the products that you guys use are really smelly. They either smell like, in my opinion, old lady rosy, and I don't like it, but uh that's the product you guys have, right? So I kind of just have to deal with it, right? Or they're just really strong. And so a lot of the times I will say, like, if you have to use that, I understand. But if you don't, or if if there's an alternative, can you use that? And sometimes you guys have alternatives, which is great. Um I also am like pretty sensitive to certain products. I don't know why, but I will break out depending on the products, um, which is interesting because I don't break out when I shave. Um, but sometimes when I do get sugared, I break out, even if I um exfoliate, which you've taught me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, so it's just interesting, and then I really don't like silence in the treatment room, but I also don't like really loud music. So I like the happy medium, so I'm very honest if you're talking too much. No, or if there's not enough talking. And to some people that could be too needy of a clientele, but for me, a person with anxiety, I need to have somebody who I feel comfortable with.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so I'm very upfront and honest to whoever I'm going to, whether it's a lash artist or a hairstylist, I'm gonna ask questions. Yeah, I'm I wanna know what you're doing to me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And I don't think that maybe um people understand that most of the time. Like I want to know the service you're providing for me because my anxiety is wondering that too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I want to know that I'm safe in your hands.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so my mind's going a thousand miles an hour and you're putting something warm on my body, and I want to know what you're doing to me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, I think it's really important for us as aestheticians to, uh, whether you're a sugar pro or not, to really be mindful um in the client intake portion. You know, I mean, I already knew Daria when we first started with this, but you know, in the client intake piece, it is about medicine, it is about, you know, sensitivities. But I think it's really good to have the conversation with your client about, you know, any sensitivities they have. Do they have sensitivities to light, to temperature? You know, a hot towel might just send someone Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I hate that.

SPEAKER_00:

Right? And I actually didn't know that about you, but if I put a hot towel on you, what does that make you feel like?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm suffocating. Yes, Audrey, who works at Sugar Mamas, I love Audrey. Um, she gives me facials sometimes because I help with the sugar mama's social media, and I feel like I'm suffocating. And so she does not put towels on my face anymore.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Because I just don't like it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, even if you do steam, I also feel like I'm suffocating. But that is a natural step in facials. But if that was an all if that was on an intake form, I could say decline, but it's not on an intake form. I've never seen it on an intake form for a facial.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

I just don't think it's um usually on that stuff. But I yeah, I feel like I'm being buried alive.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and and that's interesting, right? Because we talked about in a in a reel the other day about your intake form being like a living, breathing document. And I think if you do not have, do you like steam? What temperatures do you are do you struggle with? If you don't have that on your intake form, the aesthetician's never gonna know. And so then it causes angst while you're in a facial and it really does ruin the experience for you. So I think the very first time that you work with a client, I'll say this to the audience, the very first time you work with a client, you really have to ask them things beyond the medications, but like, do you struggle with um, you know, closed spaces? Do you struggle with because a lot of times it's just the towel, might not even be warm.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, do you struggle with heat? Do you struggle with steam? You know, and so that way you have a plan B. For example, you talked about Rose. You do not like the center rose, like that just sends you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, but a lot of your clients do because obviously I'm in the room making reels. They go, I love it. And I'm always like over here gagging, and I'm just like, yeah, it's so great, guys. It's really, I I just don't like it. Yeah, but then uh you've gotten stuff that I love, lavender, and then it doesn't even smell like lavender, so I'm like, okay. Yeah. And you've also used me as a test dummy to smell incoming products that you have. Yes, I'm very intelligent.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, you are. Um, but I think it is wise to say, okay, and some of these things are not fragranced, yeah, but the ingredients that they have, like I have a product that has a powdered aloe in it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

I think it smells divine.

SPEAKER_01:

I did not.

SPEAKER_00:

And you did not. So I put those products in front of her nose all the time so that I can really be mindful of like, you know, is this Daria approved or not? But I think if you do have someone that's sensitive and you do bring a new product line, if that client does not like, say, the micler water or um the aftercare lotion, find out first before you go slathering that all over their face, because it might not be something that makes their heart happy or their nose or their stomach happy. So really be mindful of having a plan B, a soothing serum that's a plan B, something that um I know that you're really sensitive. Like you had a bug bite earlier, and you're like, oh my gosh, it's stinging, it's so crazy. And I was able to put, I love Hale and Hush's, but um, shout out to them, uh, biorelief powder and um a relief biopowder. I always freaking say that wrong. Um, but anyway, they're powder because it really does take um insect bites um to the, you know, takes all the sting and pain out. And that works. I have that as an emergency in my back bar, you know, for anybody that has an odd reaction. And I love that you now realize that, you know, I might know what I'm doing when I put it on you.

SPEAKER_01:

You're my menacing, Mom. I got stung by a wasp earlier this morning and I said it hurt. And then she's like, Oh, I got something for that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So I always got something for that. It's my hoodoo voodoo. I always got those things. But mindfully, if you know, there is a product that has some people cannot do lavender, some people absolutely cannot stand the smell of a woodsy something, you know, like it's just there's just different people that, you know, just respond to things differently. So you can say, especially when you're putting something on the face, yeah, hey, how do you do with rose? How do you do with lavender? How do you do with, you know, whatever it is that you have on their for their skin? Because it really does make a difference in the experience they're having in general. Yeah. The other thing I will say is a lot of clients like yourself, well, not like you, you are very outgoing and you will tell me exactly what you don't like. But there are a lot of you that have sensory issues that will say nothing and will grin and bear it and will absolutely struggle. And so if you have a client that is ultra, ultra quiet, don't just say, Are you okay? You say specifically, how's the scent for you? How's the temperature for you? So they can answer that question directly instead of not wanting to hurt your feelings. So I think that's really important.

SPEAKER_01:

I am like that at the beginning. Like if I go to see someone like for a first time, like I was that way when I first met you, like a year or I don't know, about two years ago it was. About two years ago. But like now I'm more vocal with you. But like if I'm going to see someone for the first time, I'm kind of like in my head and I'm like, is it supposed to feel like that? Do I question their artwork? Like, because to me it's like an art form.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so I'm like, how dare I question them? That's how I their technique. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Like, I don't know how to do this. Like, I'm paying them. Like recently I went to um get my hair braided, and I'm paying a lady to get my hair braided because I can't braid my hair for I can't. Can I cuss? No, yes, I can't I can't braid my hair for shit. And it was gonna be a hot day in Folsom, and I work at Folsom High School, and I was gonna be outside, and this lady, God bless her heart, was pregnant, had pregobrain, and like was just really hurting my head. And I don't know how to braid, so I can't correct her. And what I should have done was just said, hey, I'm gonna get off out of this chair and leave because you're not in the state of mind to braid my hair.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But I stayed in that chair for over two hours until she could get the braid, and all I was wanting was one braid. Two hours? Yeah. And she ended up doing it, but it was not the braid I wanted. But I got it done. It was not what I wanted, but I left with it. Yeah. Because I'm just sometimes not vocally comfortable saying what I want to say.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So I I think as your practitioner, you know, if that was me, I would notice that you were quiet and I would check in. So I think it's really important for sugar pros and aestheticians, especially, to know that if you have a client that's exceptionally quiet, that means a few different things. Yeah. It means they just need a little peace right now. It could also mean that they don't know how to say to you what they're not happy about. It could mean they're not listening at all or paying attention because their life is so crazy. It could also mean absolutely nothing. So I think we need to be mindful and say, hey, check in, how's that temperature for you? Yeah. Hey, how's, you know, um, how's the, you know, is the volume in the on the radio okay? Do you like this music? You know, really check in to the pulse of what your customers are and your clientele is is thinking and feeling so that they will come back. And it seems as though you're cared about them.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, but you could also like there are times I've gone to like a hairstylist and been like, hey, I'm not in the mood to talk today, but I love you. Yeah. And that's fine too. Yeah. I think that's totally appropriate. And that's something you could put on an intake form too. Like, uh, I don't like to talk, but I'm here for the service. Like, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. The other thing too is we're going to talk about estheticians in the next little bit because that's um the the biggest part of this conversation. But for estheticians, it is totally fine if you aren't feeling it to say, hey, I'm having a super mellow day. I'm going to sugar and work on you. Um, you need to probably try to muscle up your best. But if you just can't, you know, there is no reason why you switch things up and make a relaxing experience for your customer. Yeah. So, say, for example, your client says, um, you know, you walk in and you're like, oh, you're just not feeling the day. There is absolutely no reason why you can't put a neck roll under their head, put some essential oils behind their ears, ask them, of course, if they like the scent, and just say, Hey, I'm gonna have you relax today. I know we talk usually a lot, but um, for some reason, I'm I'm just not feeling it, or you know, you know, I'm just like in a in a super quiet space, and I'm having all of my clients chill out today. We're switching things up. Oh my gosh, people would love to not have to entertain you.

SPEAKER_01:

I'd rather you be honest with me and not fake it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Like as somebody who's working on me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'd rather not fake conversations because us as clients can tell when you're being fake too.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my god. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like, how's the weather out? Oh, it's great. Okay, we're having a fake conversation. I already know that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And a lot of time it's because, you know, we've got your legs in the air. So there's that. Yeah. No, we haven't done that with you, but we've only done your brows. But yeah, but at the end of the day, there are people that are just really, really, really uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And, you know, especially if it's a first-time Brazilian or bikini, they're really uncomfortable to, you know, drop their drawers. And you have to have that conversation. You know, we've talked about this for the last couple of weeks, is having these conversations, have them with your customers, your clients, um, have them with other aestheticians and your boss, and you know, be really clear about what's going on for you. Because if you have sensory issues, which I do not, thankfully, but if you have sensory sensory issues, everything is expanded for you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, overall. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, from the the hardness of the bed, firmness of the bed to the smell in the room to you're hypersensitive, right? You're hyper aware.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'm aware of every little thing um in your room, especially, or everywhere. Yeah, every time I lay on the bed, I'm like, okay, my body doesn't fit, uh, the lights are too bright, uh, that's making that sound. But but that's not anything on the esthetician or the esthetician's room. That's just what my mind's thinking.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But I don't think the esthetician can do anything to help my mind. You know, that's just my mind.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, we can't help your mind, but we can be aware of it, right? And so I can know and I can take notes on you as a as a uh client, and I can say, hey, she does not love Rose. She does not love loud music, but she sure loves, you know, easy rock. And give her a little Fleetwood Mac and an unscented product, you know, and you and she will know that you've taken care of her and you've thought about her. Yeah. And that is really, really critical is you have to know your clients. You have to take notes on all your clients so that you absolutely they walk in and I know not to put rose on you. I just know this.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And I have a lot of clients, but I make sure that I take notes on everybody so that I know exactly what's going on. Okay, so I want to get into basically why, well, what else you're doing as it relates to estheticians and actually just humans in general, because we are all human and we all have needs, special needs. Um, you know, and one of the things that is really fun is not only do you so do our social media, but you do, um, you're the editor for my podcast. For those of you that did not know, she is the editor for the podcast. And she's, you know, I she's usually behind the scenes, and now she's gonna be in front of the scenes on this episode. Um, but I want to first put a caveat out there that we are gonna talk about some things that might touch, you know, some sensitive parts when talk a little bit about mental health. And, you know, this is at your discretion, audience, if this is something that you want to listen to. Um, Daria's um got a podcast. And, you know, let's just let's just dive into your podcast and what it's about and how it can be really helpful to um to the you know, to the listeners that are listening to our show, but also for folks that, you know, really want to kind of dive into this other area. So talk a little bit, first of all, about what why you started the podcast and what it's about.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh all right. So I have obviously been editing your podcast for a while now, and it's kind of just made me wanna start one on my own. Like I've always wanted to start a podcast, but I never really had the guts to. And then when I started editing yours, I was like, I think this is something I can do. And so I came up with a title called Just Breathe Confessionals. Um, just breathe, because it's something my dad would always say to me when I was having uh panic attacks growing up. Not anything mean, but in a dad way, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And so it's called Just Breathe Confessionals, it's a reflective truth-telling podcast where I share personal stories about my anxiety, heartbreak, healing, and like the messy process of becoming. Um I spend so much time behind the scenes editing the sugar show. It just showed me how powerful it is when people speak their truths out loud. The aestheticians, clients, everyone. And for me, it it came from a place of caring trauma. My parents' divorce, my own divorce, which a lot of people don't know about me because I kept that a secret. So that's something new people will find out about me. And I just realized that silence was only making it a lot heavier in my life. So once I started speaking those things out loud, it felt like I could finally breathe again. And that's the heart of the podcast, creating space to release what's really been stuck inside. And it just felt like really refreshing to tell that out loud.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you inspired me.

SPEAKER_00:

I just I love that I love that this is the direction that you took it, though. It's super healthy and healing and you know, audience, I think what's really important for when you listen to this piece of the episode is, you know, if it doesn't resonate with you because you're not someone that has anxiety or or you know, any of the the traumas, which I think we all have some, or you know, or we are, or we love people that do, you know, I think it's really important to understand what the human condition is and that your clientele could be going with through these things and maybe a podcast like this would help them. I think that having tools in your toolbox, I always love having um, you know, a dermatologist I can recommend or a podcast I can recommend, or, you know, any sort of professional assistance that I can give to my clients is really helpful. And that's why, Daria, I I'm loving that you're doing this as a badass babe. Um, but I also love that you can really kind of give some insight to to my aestheticians, you know, and our sugar tribe that they can learn from both personally and professionally. And so if you have someone when you're listening to this, you're like, oh wow, this is perfect for my client Sally, or wow, that's actually perfect for me. I didn't even realize it. You know, you have so many good topics on here, and we'll get to chatting about those in just a second. But that's really why I wanted you on was for you to be able to just relate with people and you know, they can leave comments and you can answer those because you are the one that answers a lot of that stuff. Yes, I am, you know, so you've got a direct access. Um, but let's just get right into it. And, you know, it's really you've described the Just Breathe Confessionals, which is on all the major podcasts, you know, Spotify, Apple, all that. Yeah. And you've described your show as a journey of self-discovery, self-love, self-forgiveness. Why do you think those themes resonate with so many of us, especially aestheticians who are so often focused on taking care of others?

SPEAKER_01:

I think because self-discovery and self-love are all struggles we all face. I'm not an aesthetician myself, as we've said. But I've seen so many of my close friends, especially you and even my aunt, who's a massage therapist, pour so much of themselves into others.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That constant giving can be so draining if you don't refill your own cup. And my podcast touches on that reminder you can't keep showing up for others if you aren't taking care of yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Yes. You know, it's so funny. We that's sweet that you say that because we literally every half hour are take care of everyone else, everyone else, everyone else. And then some of us go home and take care of our families, everyone else, everyone else, and then there's just like minutes left over for us, and then we fall into bed, you know?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And so if we're constantly giving and giving and giving, especially in these last few weeks when the topics have been really, you know, big and heavy, and and it's every half hour we're giving and giving and giving. And, you know, I think that this is really, really important. You know, um, you open up about your journey with anxiety in these episodes. And have you found lessons from your experiences that aestheticians can carry into the treatment room when working with clients who might be holding stress or emotional weight?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so we've kind of touched on this a little bit already, but anxiety's taught me that you never really know what somebody is carrying.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, so true.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, so true. Like that dochy song, anxiety.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Somebody's watching me. Um, for me, silence can make me anxious, like I've already said. So if I'm in a treatment room, I want to ask questions, I want to know step by step on what's happening. Uh, that's not typical protocol, uh, but it's how my anxiety shows up. It's just always constantly there. And I think letting clients set the tone, um, silence or conversation or an explanation can go a long way, especially for people dealing with anxiety uh in the treatment room, especially.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. I mean, both sides, right? Yeah. Because some people are like, Will you please stop talking? And other people are like, So, tell me more about you. Yeah. You know, and especially in facials, that's hard. But, you know, there's a lot of people, even, you know, sugaring is a very, is a very talky kind of treatment. Um, but sometimes people just want to lay there and they don't want to talk to you and they it causes them anxiety. So I think we have to be very mindful as practitioners what we're dealing with, you know, with with each client that that lays on our table. Because we often become some kind of a safe space for clients to vent and unload. And like I said, the last couple of weeks has been really um full of that. And from your perspective, Daria, what can beauty professionals do to protect their own mental health while while still holding space for others? That's a big chat challenge.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so I've actually been learning a lot from editing the sugar show. Um, I think I've edited maybe like 10 episodes now. Um something that I've learned is how deeply sugar pros love their clients. Right. Um, but balance matters so much. You can be so supportive and still need to take a step back. Um, I've seen you go get services from other aestheticians, and that's such an important reminder that estheticians need estheticians. Yes, um it's no different from telling a partner, I need a moment. Giving yourself that grace isn't a weakness. It's what makes your connections more sustainable.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, it's just learning the balance, and it it it happens in life too, like saying no. Um, I think is an important life tool that you start learning as an adult is saying no, um, which I'm still learning. And I think you are too.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh. I'm like 30 years older than you, and I'm still learning that.

SPEAKER_01:

You don't need to tell them that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Well, I said I'm proud of it. I'm old and proud. Um I you know, I I think as well, we need to be mindful that, you know, we have to communicate with each other.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, and even you, you're doing the social media, you're like, there's been a couple days where we set up to film and you're like, I ain't feeling this today.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Okay. I'm very honest with you because one, you're my boss. And two, if I'm not honest with you and I come, there's been days I do come here and you look at me, you go, Are you okay? And I'm like, No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And you can tell too, like my eyes are closing, and I'm just like, meh. Because this is my second job.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And like I work with teenagers all day, and sometimes they just make me tired.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. They're hard. They're hard. Yes, yes. And you know, I think that like, like we were saying, we have to be open. We have to communicate. You have to talk to your boss or your colleagues about like, gosh, I am just not feeling super 100% today, you know? Um, and then work on doing those things to make you better. Yeah. You're not going to the drink, you're not gonna, you know, smoke weed or do whatever your crutches are. It's like you gotta find ways that like maybe it's your hormones that are imbalanced, maybe, you know, you've just been overstimulated that day. Like, I mean, I think at the end of the day, you know, and you talk about this in your podcast, um, we have to be mindful of having tools in our esthetician toolbox to, you know, be able to pick ourselves up and out of it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Like I've been trying to get back into reading as a tool. Like, I used to love reading, but I don't even have the time to read. And that's disappointing because it shouldn't be that hard to read a book.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But as an adult, it is like I see these TikTok videos of adults planning dates just to go out with friends, and they're like, Oh, I can't even do that. Like they're planning years out in advance, and it's like, yeah, it's gotten to that point sometimes where I can't even plan a date with a friend. Like, even scheduling this with you, it's like, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I know, I know. Well, I'm kind of a special here special case these days.

SPEAKER_01:

You're fine though.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. Um, okay, so gosh, there's so much to talk to you about. Um, do you think that okay? Let me let me actually go back. So, your Just Breathe Confessionals podcast, just in case um people are tuning in in the middle of this, um, is about telling stories about stories that we often keep hidden. How do you think speaking your truth out loud has changed the way you see yourself?

SPEAKER_01:

At first, it was pretty terrifying because I don't like the sound of my voice. Even when we record lives together, I'm like Ugh, gross.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I'd you actually have a very soothing voice.

SPEAKER_01:

So that's what my boyfriend said, and I was like, he speaks nerdy to me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I'd record an episode and then I'd feel like I was talking for like hours, and then I realized it was only for eight minutes, and I was like, Okay. So this is a lot harder than I thought it was, but the more I did it, the more I realized how much shame I'd been holding on to just by staying quiet. Saying things out loud softened me towards my younger self a little bit. You know, once you own your story, it can't own you anymore.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's like a really powerful statement. And so then I just kept writing out my episodes more and more, and just kept thinking about more episodes, and then it just kept spiraling, and then I just kept thinking about things. And I often check with my dad about my mer my memories, um, just because memories can play tricks sometimes. And um, I've been through a lot of trauma, and um sometimes what I think is a memory isn't, um just because a lot of the stuff that happened in my childhood messes with my memories. So I have to double check with my dad if it's real or not.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, I think that's fascinating because it's childhood and it's actually just even 10, 15 years ago, right? Like I think that sometimes we have a certain perspective of our memories and we tell we we write our own story, we kind of like switch the story a little bit, um, whether it's older relationships or something that actually happened to you. I think that, you know, we have our own truths, and sometimes when you really dive in and and do the work, you realize like, oh wait, was I really did that really happen? Or did I just remember it that way? Or did I just fill in the blanks with my own stuff?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. My um, my grandfather passed away about two years ago, and we we did like a memorial service, and there was pictures, uh like a they did like a slideshow, and there was a family photo, and I was in it, and I was like, don't remember that photo at all. So then I went to trauma therapy to try to unlock memories because I was like, I don't remember this photo, I don't remember this time, what the heck? Well, I went to trauma therapy and all it did was bring back my anxiety I thought I stuffed away. So I was like, okay, great, more anxiety.

SPEAKER_00:

Awesome. I'm so glad I opened this box.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I was like, well, that's cool because uh I didn't need that. Um, but that's that's what happens with anxiety, you know. You think you fix it, but it just comes back with a vengeance. You yeah, you can't ever just get rid of it, you know. It it it's gonna come back if you don't actually deal with it. The same thing with trauma. If you don't deal with it, it's gonna come back. Yeah. And that's what I was trying to figure out is hey, like what where were these photos taken? Like, was I actually present? Like, obviously I was when I was in this photo, but I just didn't remember that time. So, you know, memories are weird things, and and I talk about that in one of my episodes is that um I think it's called fragments of childhood, is like my memories are snapshots. That's what I have of childhood. I do not have full pictures, yeah. And it's because of the trauma I have of my parents' divorce and other stuff I went through. And it's it's sad, but that's the reality of my childhood is snapshots, and and I know others who have that too. One of my colleagues at work, her childhood is the same way. She has snapshots, and and that's sad, but that's the reality of some people's life is you don't have the full picture.

SPEAKER_00:

What do you think you would be like if you didn't do all this healing work?

SPEAKER_01:

Be pretty messed up. That one therapist said she's very surprised I never turned to drug as an alcohol. I said, Well, I never did.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm glad you didn't. But at the end of the day, like, I'm so proud of you for all the work that you've done. And, you know, for those that you know, we have a lot of clients that don't do the work and they stuff it in like a pressure cooker, right? Yeah. And you can tell, you can feel the energy off of them. And then we have others that, you know, have really done the work and it's a it's a work in progress.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Always.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I don't know. I I don't I don't know why I am the way I am, but I'm glad I am the way I am. Right. If that makes sense. Um, I guess, you know, God made me the way I am.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, no, it's a true story. I and I think that, you know, again, if we can be mindful, we have a lot of personalities that come in the door. If we can be very mindful that everyone's got their own thing and their own story in their head. You know, client comes in, they seem completely stoic, you know, no big deal. You have no idea what happened to them before they walked into the treatment room. Yeah. And they come in and they lay down and everything's loud and the stuff's stinky, and which is funny because everything we use is like now that we use is like unfragranced. Yeah. Um, but you know, products might be stinky to them that, you know, they might be able to hear like the dripping of your faucet, and all of that is just noise, noise, noise. And what you don't also realize is that they just walked in from their own traumatic experience, and now you're gonna rip, you know, hair out of their body, right? So being really mindful of someone like you, if you walk in with, you know, high, high energy or or even low, low energy, you know, it's really just checking in with each of your clients and saying, hey, you know, what's going on for you today? You may turn the music down today. Is that a little stimulating? And you're like, oh, yes, please. Or you might say, No, but can you change the artist? No. But still, it's it shows it would it shows that we would be mindful of your needs, and that is what it's gonna help you to come back for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, what do you think about aestheticians that can benefit from telling their own stories? Obviously, we have to be really mindful in the treatment room of like spilling our stuff, right? Yeah, like, oh, here's my problem, my problem, my problem, my problem. You know, your clients, your customers are not your therapists.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think there is a balance between it. Like, if more people could be on your podcast, I think that'd be cool. Like, obviously, hit up Shannon, be on our podcast. I'll edit it. Woohoo! Yes. Um, when I edited, I can't say that word. I feel like I'm doubling, I don't know. When I did the edit, when I did the edit, yes, thinks, mom. When I and see when I did the edit of Georgia's episode. Oh yeah. Shout out, Georgia.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we'll tack we'll put that in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. She talked about doing beauty services for others, um, instead of herself. She um she said that she liked doing stuff for herself, not for others, and that really clicked with me. I I texted her while I was editing. See, I'm doing it again. That's okay. While I was editing the episode, um, because I used to get lash extensions when I was like 19 to 24 because they made me feel beautiful. Not because I could give a fuck what boys thought about me or whatever, but they made me feel powerful, they made me feel beautiful. So I immediately texted her and was like, girl, you made me feel so seen while editing this podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

And so, like, even that, even what even Georgia's simple statement, I have never met Georgia.

SPEAKER_00:

She's awesome.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, she lives in the Midwest. I've never met Georgia, I've just texted with her. But in that simple statement, she got me. Yeah, you know, and so even in that statement, I I she saw me. Yeah. And so if aestheticians just got on your podcast more or like said stuff like that, yeah, in a simple story, I feel like you just bond more with people, like just saying those truths out loud. Yeah, you just you just connect with people. Like, yeah, I was just like, Yes, I don't get stuff done on my body to please anyone else but myself. Yeah. Well, I used to, not now. Not now. Like now I do it because I want to feel pretty, because it makes me feel good.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so I connected with Georgia. Georgia and I will be lifelong friends.

SPEAKER_00:

She's pretty incredible. I could go on and on about Georgia, and we will, we will. Well, actually, I did on the podcast, but she is one of the most amazing little young humans that that I've known that I've met in a really long time. And I just I it's an honor to teach by her side. But um, yeah, I love that I and I love that you had the the guts, so to speak, to reach out to her. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I immediately texted her.

SPEAKER_00:

I was like, girl, I think listen in my language. And that's the beauty of this is you know, we're all on these podcasts and and in these treatment rooms and on these trade show stages and in trade show booths, and we're all human.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

We're all human.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'm not even an aesthetician. And I went, girl, I feel you. Right? Because I've gotten that service.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And because I've gotten the sugaring service, yeah, I can text Jody and be like, oh, you see her hand? That's not correct.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm turning all of you non-estheticians into converts where you can all judge the mold and flick. I love it. Um, let's let's talk about uh burnout. So so many people, especially aestheticians, struggle with burnout from constantly giving. What are some of the practices that you have learned that help you refill your own cup? Because you did a lot of work in this area for yourself.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So, like I mentioned earlier, I've been trying to get back into reading. So, me and my best friend um both have the Goodreads app.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And there's this thing where you can like list the amount of books you want to read.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And we're kind of in this competition where you can list the amount of books you want to read.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, it's like the summer reading program at the library.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, she's beating me hardcore.

SPEAKER_00:

So cute though.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, she works from home, but you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh she's not wrestling high school students on campus.

SPEAKER_01:

No, she works from home. She works for Vision's uh charter school. Oh, okay. So she she I mean, she wrestles them online. So yeah. But she she reads more than me. But just getting back into that and spending time with my dogs and saying no, like I said, I'm I'm a yes girl. And so taking the time just to do that. Um and taking mental health days, it's if you have sick days, you can use them for mental health days. Like if you don't use them, you will lose them.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. And for those of you who are solo aestheticians, you know, there's really no reason why you can't. I mean, I wouldn't bail on somebody at the last minute, right? Oh, yeah. But if you're like, if you're really grinding and you're like, you know what, I have a light day on Friday or have a light day on Monday, I'm gonna scooch those people together and maybe just come in for two hours. But I'm gonna spend the morning like, like almost, you know, just checking out and don't scroll and don't do anything, but maybe do a little yin yoga or do a little meditation or you know, just go for a walk with your dog and put your feet in the grass. Like sometimes that's what you really need to do. And you know, solos need to come in and get the work done because that's how they, you know, the how they make their money. Um, but solos, you can get creative with your calendar and you know, really make it happen so that you can have a mental health day. Yeah. Um, so you seem to have a pretty big theme in the Just Breathe Confessionals podcast that's um is becoming softer with yourself and finding connection along the way. What do those things mean to you? And why do you think they would matter for the people that you've experienced as aestheticians?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, for me, becoming softer means offering myself compassion instead of constant criticism. I've spent years carrying shame and telling myself I should be further along.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm 30, yikes. Oh, please. Um, but growth happens with grace. Connection has also been a key. Family, friends like you, even small exchanges with strangers that made me feel seen. Like when I texted Georgia after her episode because she put into words something I'd carried for years. Um, estheticians need both reminders to be gentle with themselves and to lean on community. Yes. That combination makes work and their lives more sustainable.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, it's so true. You know, I I think we tend to grind for everybody else, like we talked about earlier. And we have to be really gentle, you know. It's it's interesting from the other perspective of when you walk in the door with a lot of shame and guilt and heavy, heavy baggage, and someone just kindly looks at you and says, Hey, I got this. Come lay down. That's not very very grand of a gesture, but it could wipe out someone's like negativity in a sentence. You know, so useticians be really, really mindful of, you know, not bringing your stuff into the treatment room, um, making sure that it's number one about the client, but then turning around and acknowledging that you need to take care of yourself after work. Like, wow, I'm really tired or I'm really fried, or everything everyone says is annoying me. Yeah. I did those days. Right. Which which is probably a lot um with the high school students. Um, but yeah, it's really about you know being mindful of the profession that you have, that you, you know, you gotta do the work. You can't be taking sick days all the time, right? And if you feel like you need to, then you need to get to the bottom of that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Because you can love what you do, but you also need to love yourself as well. Like in the words of RuPaul, if you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

SPEAKER_00:

Woo-go.

SPEAKER_01:

Damn straight.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right. So, all right, girl, if someone was listening today and just wants to dip into the Just Breathe Confessionals, which episode do you recommend they start with and why?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I think you should start with the intro.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Because it lays out the heart of the podcast and what just breathe means. But if you want to dive into the deeper stuff, I'd say start with episode one. That's where I talk about my anxiety and my self-love. Um, each one stands alone, I think, like stands by itself, but together they circle around the same idea. Giving yourself permission to pause, reflect, and just be honest with yourself. Each episode is pretty much different, but it's all just focuses on reflection and honesty. The one that comes out on Friday is called, well, this will be out after Friday. So the one that comes out The most recent one. Yeah, the most recent one that comes out October 3rd is called The Awkward Art of Growing Up, and it's about puberty. Yay, puberty.

SPEAKER_00:

That was a really long time ago for me. Yeah. Um I think you need to interview me on the show about menopause, which I never thought I would get to. Oh my. So, okay, girl, what do you hope that anyone tuning in, especially aestheticians, walk away with after listening to your podcast?

SPEAKER_01:

My hope is that people feel less alone, that they hear my stories and think me too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

From there, that they can give themselves permission to breathe, to pause, to care for their own hearts. Healing isn't just for when you're broken, it's an ongoing process. We all deserve to become softer, stronger, and more ourselves along the way because we're all growing.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, understatement. And I think if we can have grace about that, you know, when other people are in the room with you, I think some people feel like, oh, everyone else is beautiful and in here. Everyone else has got their act together. Everyone, look at that beautiful lady. Look at how well she's got it put it together. Let me tell you, I'm with people every half hour, they're a hot mess express. Yeah, you know, and it's just how the package comes. So I think that, you know, really listening to these confessionals and giving yourself some br, you know, some peace. Um, you're catching a break for yourself, you know. Um, I think it was really it's been really healthy for you to do the podcast. Yeah. I think it's healthy for people to listen to your heart, which really comes out in the episode. So great job, girl. And, you know, I think that just taking a little time to listen to podcasts like this as you're driving or, you know, walking the dog, or you know, they touch the heart, they touch the soul, and that's what we're trying to do.

SPEAKER_01:

So yeah, I'm excited. I checked this morning and it's in seven countries now. Whoop whoop and my boyfriend's favorite country is Egypt, and it's in Egypt, and he's like, Your podcast has made it to Egypt.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Oh, I love this technology world. It's just so incredible. So incredible. Thank you so much for being on the show, girl. And thanks for having me. I think it's funny that you're gonna edit your own voice, and it's fine. Yes. Um, and also just that you have a chance to provide your perspective. And I think there are a lot of people that are listening, not only to your show, but to this one, that say, I just want to feel heard, I want to feel seen. And that is what we're doing with the sugar tribe and the show. And you know, what we're doing with Love to Sugar is kind of that holistic sugar pro esthetician. We're not just, oh, learn how to sugar, you know, it's it's learn how to be human in the process.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's the human experience. That's what a lot of people forget is yes, sugaring is your business, but we are all humans. And though I may not sugar with you guys, I am still human and I am still with you, and I fight fiercely for you. I love you.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yes, you do. You would throw yourself in front of a train for our team. And I we are so blessed. I know that the educators that are listening to this are I love them. I know. You really do, like a sister. And so that's what's really beautiful about our team is you know, every single person on the team, from the person that makes the sugar to the person that it, you know, promotes us, which is you. Um, you know, you all get it from, you know, our guy in India that does all our yeah um, you know, meta stuff and and our our distributors and our manufacturers and our label makers, you know, like we become friends with everyone. And and it's it's about being able to breathe and have grace and to just be a really amazing human.

SPEAKER_01:

So thanks for being on the team, kid. So check out my podcast every other Friday. Just breathe confessionals wherever you listen to your podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, girl. All right, Tigger Tribe, thanks so much for spending time with us. And I look forward to next month's episode where we are going to launch something very, very new.