20 — Tetzaveh: Priestly Drag

This week, we go full-on heretical, and discuss the ways in which actually, we're happier without the temple, thanks very much. Also, Lulav tries her hand at another very short summary, we ponder the mysteries of the gemsonas of each of the 12 tribes, and we have a nice sit-down dinner with G-d. 

Full transcript available here.

You can follow @nireh_or on Instagram and check out the books Soul of the Stranger by Joy Ladin and The Orchard by Yochi Brandes and if you like those, you're welcome to also just peruse Jaz's Goodreads. Also Steven Universe is available to watch on Hulu if you'd like to learn about the gem wars and make your own gemsona.

Content note: graphic discussion of animal slaughter from 26:17 to 29:32.

Support us on Patreon! Send us questions or comments at kosherqueers@gmail.com, follow us on Twitter @kosherqueers, and like us on Facebook at Kosher Queers. Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript by Jaz and DiCo. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.

Transcript

Lulav: Hi, Jaz. Has anything cool and Jewish happened to you this week?

Jaz: Yeah! It’s actually been a really good week for queer and Jewish things and last night, I was at a party for my friend Anat, who came on the podcast on episode 16, so you all should go back and listen to her, and she was having this music party to help celebrate her 30th birthday and also fundraise for her trip to learn about her Yemenite heritage and she brought together all these amazing queer Jewish artists to do music at her birthday party.

Lulav: Is that the party that she advertised on the episode? 

Jaz: Uh-huh! Sure is!

Lulav: That’s so good. (Lulav laughs)

Jaz: It was so cool, and so good. And also there had been a moment where like she had told this anecdote that made me a little bit worried that there weren’t going to be any other trans people there, and she'd said this anecdote to both like me and DiCo, DiCo who came on in episode 9, I think (you should check out that one too). So we coordinated to make sure that we’d be there at the same time and just like to make sure there wouldn’t be any worries about it, and then I walked in and I was like, oh there are two trans people here already who I know from other parts of my life, and that continued being just more and more true. It was a very queer space with gorgeous music, and it was incredible. 

Lulav: I’m so glad.

Jaz: Yeah, yeah. Also, listeners, if you want to, I think Anat’s project is really cool and she is still fundraising for it, and she would probably appreciate support. You could maybe do that. Her venmo is anat-hochberg. Anyway.

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: I do want to mention one more queer and Jewish thing that I’ve been doing which is that I’m now part of a trans Jewish book club.

Lulav: So many trans Jewis - well, no the boxing isn’t Jewish

Jaz: The boxing isn’t Jewish. But also this is just a lot of my life now. (Lulav laughs) Yeah, anyway, this book club meets every couple weeks, and right now, we’re reading Joy Ladin’s Soul of the Stranger, which is about reading Torah in trans ways and reading trans people in Torah, and how do you get stuff about that. So, obviously, kind of resonant with the project we’re working on in some ways as well. But it is an interesting book, and I don’t agree with all of her analysis, but I do enjoy it. But I also really enjoy getting to discuss with other people. So that's been really nice. Also, I was incredibly an overachiever and I read the whole book before our first meeting about it and everyone else had read like a chapter so now we’re going through it chapter by chapter.

Lulav: I can’t believe you’re the kid who actually does the assigned reading for the big survey course.

Jaz: I, yeah, anyway... (Lulav laughs) Lulav, what are you up to that’s queer and Jewish and cool in your life right now?

Lulav: Well, so, I am a moderator for a quiz bowl, which is, it’s a “sport” wherein middle school or high school kids come together and answer trivia questions. The sport part of it is that you have to hit a buzzer. (Jaz laughs) So like, the queer part is that we just had our last regular meet of the year on Thursday night, and there were at least three lesbian teens there — 

Jaz: Aww. 

Lulav: — who were like, “Hey! You’re an iconic moderator!”

Jaz: Aww.

Lulav: So that was really cool, just like, the gay recognition. And the other half of that was that there was — wait, no — I can’t discuss this because it involves a question that’s actively in play. 

Jaz: No!!

Lulav: Never mind. (Lulav laughs) But let’s say, an absence of Jewish teens.

Jaz: Oh —

Lulav: Is what I’ll put out there

Jaz: That’s too bad.

Lulav: Yeah, so that was my week doing quiz bowl, which has for the last six years, been kind of a — like, even before Shabbat was a weekly thing that I do for most of the year, quiz bowl was a weekly thing that I did for a very small part of the year.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: That got me out and talking to people and in community.

Jaz: Yeah, that’s so lovely. Okay, Lulav, are you ready for your summary?

Lulav: Well, first, I must say: Welcome to Kosher Queers, a podcast with at least two Jews and generally more than three opinions. Each week, we bring you queer takes on Torah. They’re Jaz —

Jaz: And she’s Lulav —

Lulav: And today, we’re going to talk about Tetzaveh.

[Brivele intro music]

Jaz: Uh, thanks for reminding me how our podcast works. (Lulav laughs) I feel like we do this on the regular.

Lulav: Listen, you’re not 20 episodes into a podcast unless you’ve forgotten the intro at least once.

Jaz: (laughs) Yeah. Alright, now that we’re here, we’re about to have lots of instructions. I think this parsha is basically just called instructions. So, I’m ready to hear some instructions. Are you ready to deliver them?

Lulav: I am slow of speech and slow of tongue, but I’ll try my hardest.

Jaz: Okay, how much time do you want?

Lulav: Ten seconds.

Jaz: What?

Lulav: Yeah. 

Jaz: Okay. Ready, set go.

06:00 

Lulav: Everybody’s got to bring me olive oil. We establish the Levite priesthood in our sexy, sexy vestments then elaborate on sacrifices in the priestly ordination and our daily practice. Hint: There’s a lot of meat. We wrap up with a lot of incense (Timer rings) though also some animal blood.

Jaz: Okay, so you also did 11 seconds. 

Lulav: Yeah... 

Jaz: We are both wildly optimistic on our like 10 second short things.

Lulav: Okay, I don’t think 10 percent is wildly. 

Jaz: (laughs) Okay. But we were both like this is the shortest thing. We can do it in 10 seconds. And we could neither time.

Lulav: (laughs) True. (Jaz laughs) So, yeah, much like the priesthood, you have to plan in a little bit of excess.

Jaz: Oooh.

Lulav: When you’re doing your bespoke ritual. (Jaz laughs) This metaphor is tenuous.

Jaz: Alright, let’s go through it a little more slowly. What happens?

Lulav: Yeah, let’s do. So we start out, further commanding the Israelites to bring some extra virgin olive oil.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: And that’s to keep the lamp burning.

Jaz: Yes.

Lulav: And you  may remember from Hanukkah, that the temple’s gotta have a lamp burning in it.

Jaz: Uh-huh.

Lulav: So, very important thing is that in the Tent of Meeting, outside the curtain that is before the covenant, Aaron and his sons are just like priesting it up forever. This is where we establish what a priest is.

Jaz: Yes.

Lulav: Does that sound fair?

Jaz: Sure! I’m actually going to pause you while we’re still on the lamp

Lulav: Oh okay.

Jaz: So this is where we get introduced, I believe, to this concept of a ner tamid, a light that burns forever, and there is this beautiful Instagram account, that I don’t know if you follow.

Lulav: I don’t have Instagram.

Jaz: Okay, so there’s this beautiful Instagram account that maybe some of our other listeners know about, and if not, should like maybe check out if you are a person who’s on Instagram, and they do these beautiful drawings for each parsha.

Lulav: Mm.

Jaz: It’s called Nireh_Or and for this week, they had a note about the eternal flame and notes that it can be used as just like the simple you’re instructed to kindle the eternal flame but if you look closely at the trope marks and stuff, it’s to kindle the flame eternally.

Lulav: Hmm.

Jaz: And there’s a commentator, the Sfat Emet, who says that even that we don’t have a Mishkan anymore, we can kindle the flame eternally by doing a mitzvah which is like lighting a candle before G-d. And so, I wanted to ask, if you’ve seen anything that seems to you like lighting the candle of the ner tamid, of seeing a mitzvah that has made more light be shown into the world.

Lulav: That’s a really good question, that I wish I had thought more about. (Lulav laughs) I think people who do tzedakah whenever asked, or even if not directly asked, that’s a really profound thing that I appreciate a lot and could do a little more. Where there is need, there are people reaching out to fulfill that need.

Jaz: Hmm. 

Lulav: And that feels like a ner tamid to me. 

Jaz: That's beautiful. Is it Mr. Rogers who says, “Look for the helpers”? 

Lulav: That sounds right.

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: It could also be a rabbi?

Jaz: I got that from a very secular source, even if I can’t remember who it’s from.

Lulav: (laughs) Is that something that you think of that caused you to ask that question?

Jaz: Well, I really like that analysis, like how do you take things that are these very ritual, very theoretical concepts, and how do you make them applicable in our world where we don’t technically have a ner tamid, even though if you walk into most synagogues, they’ll have something that’s like, this a ner tamid, a light that shines eternally that’s never supposed to go out. 

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: And I really appreciate that. And I also like this idea of like — a lot of these rituals are meant very specifically for the temple and now that we don’t have the temple, how do we continue to make them feel relevant and interesting?

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: And also I believe the Reform movement came up with calling synagogues "temples," that we didn’t have that before then, and it was this idea of saying, we don’t have the temple anymore, and therefore any place where Jews gather together and worship is a temple.

Lulav: Yeah, that sounds sufficiently sacrilegious to be a Reform thing. (Lulav laughs)

Jaz: Yeah, there are many things where I have quibbles with the Reform movement, but I kind of love that.

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: Where there’s this idea that we make our Judaism where we are.

Lulav: (laughs) Okay, getting back to the whole shul thing. (Jaz laughs) Again, I will admit that that is not Sephardi-inclusive. 

Jaz: Or any of the many other types of Jews that there are (Jaz laughs)

Lulav: Or literally anybody else. I like the holiness of: there was a temple, we don't have that anymore, but we’re still being Jewish, we’re still getting together and practicing even though there’s no such thing as a temple.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: So, I like both faces of it. Your appreciation of "yeah, anywhere we are, that’s a temple," and my thing of, "we don’t need a temple to be where we are."

Jaz: That’s so beautiful. I have been reading this book recently called The Orchard by Yochi Brandes, I think. It’s about the creation of the Talmud and the rabbis who created it. And it’s sort of set post-the destruction of the second temple and there’s like early Christianity happening, and early rabbinic Judaism happening, and they’re developing a bunch of things that turn into Judaism we have today.

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: And there’s the beginnings there also of maybe we don’t want a temple back. (Lulav gasps) Maybe it’s better for us to have rabbinic scholars and to have it not be about the priests, which is what this whole thing is about, but to have it be about learning and scholarship, which is what this is about. None of that happens until after the destruction of the temple. 

Lulav: You probably can’t see, and I’m sure this is horrible audio, so I’m sorry, Ezra, but I am vibrating up and down

Jaz: (laughs) It’s a really good book, I recommend it. Again, it’s called The Orchard by Yochi Brandes, so check it out.

Lulav: Cool. 

Jaz: Anyway, continue.

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: So we can go back to priests for a little bit.

Lulav: Yeah, yeah. So you gotta bring Aaron and his sons with him and make sacred vestments for the five of them: Aharon, Nadab, Navihu, Eleazer and Ithamar. So these are the sexy, sexy vestments that I mentioned in my short summary

Jaz: Uh huh.

Lulav: We have like a whole chapter of just describing all the pieces that go into this.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: So like this is like getting back to holy crafts.

Jaz: Uh huh.

Lulav: And so we have a breastpiece, an ephod, a robe, a checkered tunic, a turban and a sash. And they use the blue, purple and crimson yarns from last time, but very importantly, they also use gold. Where before we had a lot of gold and silver and a lot of blue, crimson and purple, now we have the gold mixed in with the blue, crimson and purple, as far as I can tell.

Jaz: Mm. 

Lulav: Is that your interpretation, or...?

Jaz: I think so too, yeah. And there’s like these different stones and stuff and they're all set in gold.

Lulav: Mm hmm. Yeah, so that’s just real interesting that they’re mixing thin gold wire into the thread — 

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: — is my impression. And you also have two mentions of each of the sons/tribes of Yisrael, one of which is carved six to a stone on an onyx stone that’s set at the pauldron and then one that is carved into a bespoke stone. There shall be 12 stones with names corresponding to the sons of Yisrael. Yeah, so each of these bespoke stones of different types you engrave with a different name of the sons of Yisrael.

Jaz: Mm.

Lulav: Between the weight on the shoulders and the weight on the chest, this is a very remember that you serve this gigantic family.

Jaz: Sure. Two quick things about that.

Lulav: Okay.

Jaz: One, have you ever seen these? People make necklaces that look like these with 12 little stones for the 12 tribes, and you can buy them the same way you can buy magen David necklaces.

Lulav: Oh that’s sweet. The only thing I have ever seen these sorts of breastpieces in - 

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: Is Jesus bleep Superstar.

Jaz: Oh!

Lulav: (Lulav laughs) So, yeah, do tell more

Jaz: They’re not quite to my taste personally. But they can be quite beautiful and they usually have these like little teeny tips of stones, and they’re set in like a 3 by 4 grid.

Lulav: Oh okay.

Jaz: And they’re supposed to be like standing for the 12 tribes, which is really cool.

Lulav: I might actually have seen one of these and not realized what it was at the time

Jaz: Yeah. They’re not as common as some of the other Jewish symbols but they do definitely exist. It’s kind of an interesting thing to hold on to, since we really don’t have most tribes existing now. Like, almost all modern Jews come from just a few.

Lulav: Oh okay.

Jaz: Like lots of us come from Yehudah. That’s like, what my family is. But there is some debate about whether some of the — we had talked for ages about there being like just two, or whatever, and then as there began to be more acknowledgement of Jews from more parts of the world, by like, sort of mainstream Judaism is the word I’m looking for?

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: I think there’s some talk about Ethiopian Jews being a different tribe that haven’t been acknowledged recently by other Jews and stuff like that.

Lulav: Mm hmm.

Jaz: But I don’t know that much about it in detail.

Lulav: I think — and this is a little spurious — but my family is Levite. 

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: Because my last name Arnow, is the Lithuanian version of Aranov, or from Aaron.

Jaz: Oooh, cool.

Lulav: So, maybe! 

Jaz: Yeah, yeah.

Lulav: That’s the only clue I have to go on.

Jaz: I have another question for you about these gems.

Lulav: Yes, please

Jaz: It says that they’ll correspond to the names of the tribes. Twelve and each one is connected to a different name. So..how do you feel about the fact that the tribes have gemsonas?

Lulav: (laughs) Amazing. I love that. This is so good. I am just struck down by the curse that you have laid upon me. (Jaz laughs) Which is also a blessing. (Jaz laughs) So again having come from a decade of playing — no! Yes? Oh my G-d, I played DnD for a decade — 

Jaz: Okay.

Lulav: Anyway, having come from that background, I recognize many of these from the various levels of gem treasure that you can dole out. We have 12 different stones of very different colors and very different types.

Jaz: Hmm… and they’re all precious.

Lulav: Yeah, they’re all precious!

Jaz: Awww.

Lulav: And possibly some of them would have supported Rose Quartz. 

Jaz: Well, we do have an amethyst.

Lulav: We do, there we go.

Jaz: There's a sapphire.

Lulav: Though to be fair, Amethyst was born after… anyway. 

Jaz: Oookay. And lots of these, they don’t actually know what the translations of them are. (both laugh)

Lulav: Yeah. 

Jaz: But we're moving on. We're just gonna laugh at the fact that this one is called lapis. 

Lulav: Yeah, like the NRSV translates that as sapphire rather than lapis lazuli. 

Jaz: No, I have a sapphire also.

Lulav: Oh really? 

Jaz: I just also have lapis lazuli. 

Lulav: Where's your lapis? 

Jaz: The fourth row has a beryl, a lapis lazuli, and a jasper. 

Lulav: Oh, okay. Because mine has an onyx, which is a black stone. 

Jaz: Ooh. Maybe also the 12 tribes here is just a nice little metaphor for the vast diversity of the Jewish community. 

Lulav: Yeah. And the other thing is like, emeralds and sapphires are both corundums. 

Jaz: Okay. 

Lulav: Or corunda. There we go. Which are like, very hard and very expensive. 

Jaz: Okay. 

Lulav: So it's just wild that jasper, for instance, which is a quartz, is included with emerald and sapphire. 

Jaz: Yeah, but also like, the fact that gems or gold is valuable is like, a historical artifact in some respects. 

Lulav: Okay. 

Jaz: Like, there's no diamonds in here. 

Lulav: Oh yeah, everybody hates diamonds. 

Jaz: Which is great, because like, diamonds are a product of the really corrupt diamond industry. 

Lulav: Yeah. Okay, so. 

Jaz: Okay. 

19:06 

Lulav: We've got this breastpiece that has the 12 stones in it and each of  the stones has the names of the tribes and you chain the breastpiece to the ephod

Jaz: Uh huh. 

Lulav: And it also has rings on it. Okay so this parsha made me extraordinarily unsure what an ephod in it. 

Jaz: Okay. 

Lulav: Because it seems to be including these pauldrons that you have the big pieces of onyx on .

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: Do you have any sense of this costuming here? 

Jaz: No! I mean, I get that it's like, a piece of clothing 

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: But whether it's more like a tunic or more like armor is a little unclear to me. It doesn't have pants. It is a dress. 

Lulav: Pants are a Germanic invention, whatever.

Jaz: Yeah, so, it is a dress. You wear a dress into the Holy of Holies and also you have fancy jewelry that you wear in. 

Lulav: Yeah! 

Jaz: That is what he and his sons are wearing. 

Lulav: Yeah. Everybody's favorite drag. 

Jaz: Yeah. 

Lulav: There's a tunic which I'm thinking is just so you're not nude under there. And then I think you've got draping like a cape that you're wearing. 

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: And then you put the pauldrons on top of that and then there's the breastpiece attached to the pauldrons and then you have a cord on top of that and I think that whole thing, maybe minus the breastpiece, is called the ephod? But I don't know. 

Jaz: I think so too, and I think the top piece, what it's calling here the top of the ephod, it notes here that it's called klil tchelet, of complete blue.

Lulav: Yeah. Blue kinds of wins out here as a color. 

Jaz: Yeah. Blue is Jewish. Blue is Jewish. 

Lulav: (laughs) Oh also, two things. One: The breaspiece of judgement is supposed to have the urim and the tumim. 

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: Which is just like, a magic 8 ball, basically. 

Jaz: Yes. 

Lulav: Yeah, when you're diving an answer for something, you cast lots and see if it turns up yes or no. 

Jaz: Yeah. A magic 18 ball? What's a good Jewish number... 

Lulav: A magic Tu-ball. (Both laugh) So there's that, and also around the hem of the robe of the ephod, you have alternating pomegranates of blue, purple, and crimson yarns

Jaz: Yeah. Rimonei tchelet v'argaman v'tolaat. It's fun. 

Lulav: Aw. And you alternate those with bells of gold. "Aharon shall wear it when he ministers and its sounds shall be heard when he goes into the holy place before the Lord and when he comes out, so that he may not die." 

Jaz: (laughs) Yeah. Pomegranates are very good for you. 

Lulav: (Laughs) A, that, B, when I watch horror films, even if I'm expecting jump scare, if I'm like, okay, in the next half second, there will absolutely be a jump scare and I'm not going to jump, when the jump scare comes, I do very much startle (Jaz laughs) and so I think that is a holy reflex, because clearly G-d will startle if you don't wear bells in to the holy place. 

Jaz: (bursts out laughing) G-d is a cat. 

Lulav: (laughs) We have found out G-d's fursona. 

Jaz: Ah, I hate it. 

Lulav: I love it. 

Jaz: No, it has CS Lewis vibes, I hate it. 

Lulav: Oh, now I hate it. Okay. You brought me around with like half a sentence. (Jaz laughs) So yeah, there's also the head dress, which is a big old turban, and a rosette of gold that says "Holy to the Lord" upon it. What is that in your translation? 

Jaz: "You shall make a frontlet of pure gold and engrave on it the seal inscription, 'Holy to the Eternal.'"

Lulav: Okay, cool, so it’s got like the Tetragrammaton on it. I love that.

Jaz: Uh huh. What did you say yours was?

Lulav: A rosette of gold.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: Which I think is in keeping with like historical depictions of what the high kohen wears.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: It is a frontlet but also specifically it’s got like rounded bumps on it. It’s decorative.

Jaz: Uh huh. I’m just checking because sometimes when they translate with the word frontlet, the word in Hebrew is something that basically means tefillin.

Lulav: Oh fun. 

Jaz: And I wanted to see if it’s the same word but I don’t think so.

Lulav: Yeah, you check on that and I keep going?

Jaz: Yeah, keep going.

Lulav: So, this frontlet that says “holy to the eternal” is a mark that Aaron or whoever is standing in for the high priest, will take on guilt incurred in the holy offering, which is a very confusing phrasing and the text doesn’t really elucidate that much, though when we talk about guilt incurred or sin, it does point us to Leviticus 4. (page turning sound)

Jaz: Okay.

Lulav: And this will come up when we talk about that incense. But Leviticus 4 talks about like if it is the anointed priest who sins, he shall offer for that with a bull of the herd as a sin offering.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: And there are like details on what you do with that. That’s my best understanding with what’s going on there. (Jaz laughs) Is it the same word for tefillin?

Jaz: No, it isn’t. In fact, you were closer with flowering and blooming things. 

Lulav: Oh that’s fun

Jaz: That’s what the word is.

Lulav: I love that.

Jaz: Yeah.

Lulav: So, yeah, you have to make a tunic that looks like Aaron is a rude boy, he’s going to a ska concert. 

Jaz: Describe that specifically.

Lulav: Okay, mine says, “You shall make a checkered tunic of fine linen.”

Jaz: Okay, so I think this is the same line, 28:42? It says “You shall also make for them linen breeches to cover their nakedness, they shall extend from the hips to the thighs”

Lulav: Yup.

Jaz: Which is not very long, like —

Lulav: Yeah — who wears short shorts? (both laugh) 

Jaz: When I was in high school, you had to put your hands down next to your sides and your shorts or your skirt whatever you were wearing, had to go past the length of wherever your fingers ended, if you were standing straight up with your hands at your side. Anyway, this looks shorter than that, is what I'm saying. They would never have been able to get away with wearing that at my high school.

Lulav: A clarification: Mine translates it as “You shall make for them linen undergarments,” which I think is what breeches are, kind of? No?

Jaz: I do not know. It feels like a very Victorian word to me.

Lulav: Basically a tunic is longer than these short shorts.

Jaz: Uh huh.

Lulav: Literally, this is don’t go commando in the holy temple.

Jaz: Yeah

Lulav: In a society where going commando wasn’t like — you just did that.

Jaz: Was the norm, yeah.

[zipper sound] 

Ezra: Hey listeners, Ezra here. You may know me from such Kosher Queers bits as the credits and also that one story that Nora told on her episode. Just popping in with a little reminder that this parsha gets really into slaughtering animals and a warning that Jaz and Lulav are going to get moderately graphic about it. If you have a problem with intentional animal death or gore, consider skipping ahead to 29:32. Enjoy the rest of the show.

26:17 

Lulav: Then we get into how you consecrate new priests. And again, this is speaking specifically about Aaron and his sons, and it seems to be a pattern for what you do in the future when you have new priests. Is that a fair interpretation?

Jaz: I think so, yeah.

Lulav: So you bring a young bull and two rams, all without blemish, and also some matzo. And some matzo cakes with oil, and some matzo wafers, spread with oil, all made of choice wheat flour, and that isn’t really important to the ceremony — the whole bread stuff —

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: They just set that aside and eat it later. (Jaz laughs) Um.

Jaz: Your celebration has matzah.

Lulav: (laughs) What is very important is that they go way into detail about individually slaughtering each of these animals and like what various things you paint with blood and burn.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: And it’s just, I’m like trying to figure out what this would have actually looked like in the practice of it, because you’ve got three animals, and you’re killing them one by one in front of each other. This doesn’t seem very nice (Lulav laughs) or efficient.

Jaz: Well... 

Lulav: Do you have any thoughts?

Jaz: It’s not clear to me that they do it in front of each other.

Lulav: Okay.

Jaz: But it does get pretty graphic: “Take all the fat that covers the entrails, the protuberance on the liver, and the two kidneys with the fat on them, and turn them into smoke upon the altar.”

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: And stuff like that. And it gives you really specific butchering instructions. And it does that a number of times. One of the things we were talking about last time is like how the Torah was really practical about like its artistry, and here like it’s very practical about butchering.

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: And it sort of does so under the guise in both cases of being like it’s for holy reasons but in fact it’s also giving you very practical butchering instructions and that is interesting to me because also my understanding is that you ate most of these offerings like you didn’t eat some of it, they note which parts you turn into smoke, but lots of it you just do eat afterwards.

Lulav: Ah?

Jaz: Is my understanding.

Lulav: So that was my original understanding but we see here you’re taking all the nice organs and stuff and burning them inside the tent as a direct offering of pleasing smoke.

Jaz: Yeah.

Lulav: But then you take the flesh of the bull and it's skin and its dung and you burn them with fire outside of the camp as a sin offering.

Jaz: Hmmm. 

Lulav: So like that’s the entire bull. You turn it into smoke and you burn it to a crisp.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: And then there’s the ram. You dash blood against the altar and you cut it into parts and you turn the whole ram into smoke on the altar, it is a burnt offering unto the Lord. It is a pleasing odor, an offering by fire to the Eternal. And so that leaves you with one ram which they slaughter and they take the blood and they put it on the right ear and the thumb of the right hand and on the big toe of the right feet. Does that like, evoke anything for you, Jaz?

Jaz: No…? (Lulav chuckles) This parsha is a bit of a struggle for me in some respects. 

Lulav: Right? 

Jaz: I do think there’s meaning to be found in it but in some respects I relate more towards the last one which was also rules because it was like crafting rules and I get those. And rules that are about.

Lulav: This is crafting too.

Jaz: This is cooking. (Lulav laughs) And then you don’t even get to eat the food that you cooked.

Lulav: Right.

Jaz: And it’s also cooking in service of a special occasion and I do think there’s real value in that of like special meals and special foods for different occasions. Like we do cook latkes on Hanukkah and hamantaschen on Purim, which we’re going to be doing very soon. Purim is like coming up very shortly so I hope you all have fun with that. I think it’s like right before our next episode. So I relate to some of that idea that you do special foods for different occasions, but I don’t relate super strongly of getting rid of things that you value just for the sake of getting rid of them.

Lulav: Right?

Jaz: And I do believe definitely in like, it can be good to get rid of things when you’re moving onto a new stage of life, and I guess this could be symbolic of that, like when you move houses, you get to get rid of your detritus and maybe when you transition you get to get to, like, change up your wardrobe, but I don’t know.

Lulav: My take on burning really choice meats for seemingly no reason is that it makes a pleasing odor unto the Eternal.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: Which is to say when you are just burning a bull to a crisp, you can smell that all over, and the smell of cooking meat is like a sign of prestige.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: This is a place where they have enough animals that they can slaughter them and just like cook them. So like everybody in the camp who is within smelling distance of the mishkan is like, whoa, G-d’s cool because we can afford to sacrifice things to G-d.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: Which isn’t a defense of not eating things that you have killed.

Jaz: What do you do with that? The idea of prestige or for reputational purposes?

Lulav: I mean, a lot of stuff in the Torah is for prestige. In a sense, the plagues were for prestige.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: And, so, I guess you can mourn just as you mourn the hurt to the Egyptians, you can mourn the sacrifice of these totally fine animals that ended up not being eaten while also understanding that this is what it means to hype up a G-d.

Jaz: Hmm. 

Lulav: But, also, the priests sure are on one.

Jaz: They sure are. (Lulav laughs) And then we do abolish all of this when we get rid of the temple. Like, we still had priests after the temple, we just don't have sacrifices.

Lulav: Yeah, I think, this is very expensive.

Jaz: Uh huh.

Lulav: Like not only do you have these ordination ceremonies that have a bull and two rams, you also have a daily sacrifice of a firstling.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: Possibly twice daily, we’re going to get to that, but like replicating that in places that are not the temple is just unwieldy, so it makes sense that we got rid of sacrifice.

Jaz: Okay let’s keep going.

Lulav: The remaining ram — you take the fat of it, the tail, the entrail fat, the liver, the two kidneys, with the adrenal glands I guess, and a right thigh — and you mix that with some of the bread that you took. First, you raise it to the Eternal, and then you bring it back down and you turn it into smoke, as just a fun burnt offering. And then you take the breast and raise it and bring it back to you and the thigh and raise it and bring it back to you, and then you eat them. So it’s like having a meal with G-d.

Jaz: Sure.

Lulav: You prepare the really nice bits that G-d likes and you burn them for G-d, and then you prepare the bits that are okay for you to eat, and you ate them.

Jaz: Sure. Yeah.

Lulav: And that just seems like fun.

Jaz: Having a nice sit-down dinner.

Lulav: Yeah, so apparently, you do this for seven days.

Jaz: So long.

Lulav: Also, every day, you shall offer a bull as a sin offering of atonement. So that’s like seven bulls and two rams, I guess?

Jaz: That’s so many.

Lulav: Or seven bulls and 14 rams, I’m unclear about the math here. But it’s so many.

Jaz: I think you’re right on seven bulls and two rams.

Lulav: Yeah, which like, this is an ordination ceremony, so hopefully it’s not happening too many times.

Jaz: Right, cause this is a thing that you do just for descendants, right? So you only do it when there’s a new one in the family.

Lulav: Yeah, like for the Levite priesthood.

Jaz: Right.

Lulav: So then everyday you have a daily sacrifice of two year-old lams. Two of them, every day! In the morning and in the evening, along with choice flour, beaten oil and an equal amount of wine to the oil.

Jaz: Yeah, maybe I missed it, but did you say the thing about how there’s also stuff that lay people who are not priests can’t touch and can’t eat and also the stuff about how those who have atoned?

Lulav: So, I’m not seeing any prohibitions against lay people eating them other than the implicit prohibition because in 29:31 — 

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: You take the lamb of ordination and boil its flesh in a holy place, and then you eat it, but if any of the flesh for the ordination or of the bread remains until the morning, you burn the remainder with fire. It shall not be eaten because it is holy. Or set apart.

Jaz: Huh, for me, 29:33, my translation renders it as, “These things shall be eaten only by those for whom expiation was made with them when they were ordained and consecrated. They may not be eaten by a layperson for they are holy.”

Lulav: Oh, that’s true, I did skip over that verse! (laughs)

Jaz: Also, I had to look up "expiation" and it noted that in the Hebrew, it’s al ha-kippurim, those who have done like the thing we do on Yom Kippur of like atoning and returning and repenting.

Lulav: Yeah, and I think that’s something that the NRSV seems to miss here, that atonement is — like I’m pretty sure that’s literally just Yom Kippur.

Jaz: I think so too but we also do have other processes for atonement in Judaism, but they are largely just types of doing teshuvah or communal processes, like, Yom Kippur is an explicitly communal process.

Lulav: Yeah.

Jaz: Most of our other ones are too.

Lulav: This is let’s say a much smaller community.

Jaz: Yeah, but this thing that ties al ha-kippurim and also not be eaten by a layperson for they are holy are interesting to me because 1) what do you think about the idea that they can’t be eaten by a layperson because they are holy?

Lulav: I have already expressed my disdain for the concept of priesthood in general.

Jaz: (laughs) Fair enough.

Lulav: So, cross apply that is my answer to your question.

Jaz: Great. Do you have any readings of this that make it feel better to you? Cause I have a possible one but would like to hear yours.

Lulav: I mean, no, it’s just like sometimes you set things apart. If you’re going to have a priesthood, then having special meats that only they eat but you can still smell them is like — yeah, that makes sense.

Jaz: Hmm fair enough. As a person who is also like, no to the priesthood — 

Lulav: One G-d, no masters?

Jaz: Yeah. (Lulav laughs) I like this notion that kippurim means connected in the same verse that this idea of not to be eaten by just anybody because they are holy because I think you could especially with the non-existence of the temple, link that a little more explicitly. That you partake in leadership once you are ready to own your own mess.

Lulav: Hmm. 

Jaz: And you are only able to do that not once you’ve never done anything wrong, but once you’ve owned it and worked it and fully done teshuvah and stuff like that

Lulav: Jaz, that’s so good. What to heck? (Jaz laughs) So this is a forever thing, apparently. Editor’s note: It was not a forever thing. (Jaz laughs) And the last bit is you make an altar on which to offer incense, made of acacia, it’s the forearm by forearm square, and two forearms high, something about horns being one piece with it. Horns are an important part of the altar, I guess. 

Jaz: Mm.

Lulav: You overlay with gold, so it’s all gold, and there are rings you put poles in and carry it, and the most important part is that a) you put it in front of the mercy seat of the covenant or the cover, in front of the cover that is over the covenant.

Jaz: So I have “cover.” I think that “mercy seat” might be like a Christian thing. Anyway.

Lulav: Did I not say “mercy seat” once last episode?

Jaz: No!

Lulav: Oops. Cause that came up a lot. (laughs) Anyway, that aside, Aharon — or the high priest — shall offer fragrant incense on it every morning when he dresses the lambs, he shall offer it, and when Aaron sets up the lambs in the evening, he shall offer it a regular incense offering for always. Very importantly: don’t offer unholy incense on it. Not sure what that would be specifically, nor a burnt offering, nor a grain offering, and you shan’t pour a drink offering on it. So like all of the burning to pleasing smoke stuff, definitely don’t do that here.

Jaz: Uh huh.

Lulav: Do that on another surface. And once a year, Aharon shall do Yom Kippur on its horns. Oh okay, so this is the thing I mentioned which is in Leviticus. In Vayikra 4:5, “the anointed priest shall take some of the blood of the bull and bring it into the tent of meeting. The priest shall dip his finger in the blood and sprinkle some of the blood seven times before the Lord in front of the curtain, and shall put some of the blood on the horns of the altar of fragrant incense, and then pour the rest of it out.”

Jaz: Mm hmm.

Lulav: So, yeah, the only thing other than incense that touches this incense thing is a little bit of blood on Yom Kippur.

Jaz: Okay.

Lulav: And that’s the end of the parsha.

Jaz: Sure is, alright, so it’s time for Rating G-d’s Writing, the section in which we make up two scales and rate the parsha based on them. Lulav, out of seven bulls, what would you rate this parsha?

Lulav: Okay, I need to clarify, because we have slightly different accents, are you saying the team from Chicago or the thing that you put cereal in?

Jaz: What?

Lulav: Bulls or bowls?

Jaz: I — those do not mean anything to me. Bulls as in things you sacrifice on an altar.

Lulav: Okay, (laughs) B-U-L-L-S. 

Jaz: Yeah.

Lulav: not B-O-W-L-S.

Jaz: I can’t believe your reference was like Jaz will understand my sports thing. (Jaz laughs)

Lulav: I don’t know! When I grew up, people were referencing Michael Jordan, and I guess you are like slightly younger, and also not from around Chicago.

Jaz: Anyway.

Lulav: Whatever. The point is, how many bulls would I sacrifice on the altar? I’m going to sacrifice three bulls over the course of three days. This is not something I’m really hype about. (Jaz laughs) But it does give very much an impression of what the priests think holiness is.

Jaz: Hmm.

Lulav: And this really does set up what it must have been like to live during temple times in Jerusalem, and just like constantly smell meat. (Jaz sighs) And be like, dang, our people are the chosen ones. That’s why there are three bulls.

Jaz: Okay.

Lulav: But we are spacing it out. Three bulls, three days. 

Jaz: Okay.

Lulav: Jaz, 

Jaz: Yes?

Lulav: What is this parsha’s gemsona?

Jaz: (laughs) That’s not a scale! 

Lulav: Uh, fight me.

Jaz: Okay, wait, let me go back to the gems that are on my list.

Lulav: 28:17.

Jaz: I found it. Okay, its gemsona is a Turquoise. 

Lulav: Okay.

Jaz: One, because I don’t think we’ve seen that one in-universe, and I don’t want to give it to a character. (Lulav laughs) And who 2) because turquoise is a thing that I associate primarily with the Southwest of the United States.

Lulav: Mm hmm. 

Jaz: Which is to say with a stone from the diaspora and I mostly feel like I had to approach this chapter by being like, how do we re-conceive of any of this given that we do not have a temple and do not do any of this? And like that’s the work that I have to put into this particular parsha. And like, that’s doable but hard.

Lulav: See, I knew you were going to pull out something insightful and elegant from that. (both laugh)

Jaz: Uh, so yeah, it’s a Turquoise. She’s lovely.

Lulav: Cool, so 3 bulls over 3 days and Turquoise as a gemsona. (Both laugh)

Lulav: Yeah, do we have any listener submissions of any variety?

Jaz: Not for this one. I have a small anecdote which is just that when I was at Trans Jewish book club last time, two of the people there got into — I want to say argument, but definitely an argument for the sake of heaven, like, it wasn’t an acrimonious argument.

Lulav: Yeah. A Jewish argument.

Jaz: Yeah, that was about which were the best books of the Torah and one of these people was DiCo, who was over here being like, “Obviously it’s Genesis,” and one of the other people was like, “Genesis is the worst one — ” (Lulav laughs) “I like the ones with the laws.” And that was delightful and I would also love to be a person who’s like, “Wow, I’m really into the laws and figuring out how to reinterpret them,” and I’m kind of like that, but it’s occasionally a struggle.

Lulav: I come out of the bathroom like ten minutes into this argument, and I’m like, “Hierarchies are inherently against G-d.” (Jaz laughs) For Adonai echad. All the books are the best book.

Jaz: Beautiful.

Lulav: Boy, I sure was confirmed as a Unitarian, huh? (Jaz laughs) Okay.

Jaz: Alright.

Lulav: Oh, that does also remind me of another queer and Jewish thing.

Jaz: Uh huh.

Lulav: Just gotta book end it here. At Shabbat Shira, a 12 year old who may or may not have been the rabbi’s kid, just like came in and talked to me about how they would often argue for the sake of Heaven.

Jaz: Mm hmm. 

Lulav: They didn’t phrase it like that. Argue for the sake of heaven with their friends.

Jaz: Awww.

Lulav: That’s cool.

Jaz: That is so cute.

Lulav: Jaz, can you take us to the close?

Jaz: I sure can. Thanks for listening to Kosher Queers. And, if you like what you’ve heard, you can support us on patreon at patreon.com/kosherqueers which will give you bonus content and help us keep making this for you. You can also follow us on Twitter @kosherqueers, or like us on Facebook at kosherqueers, or email us your questions, comments, and concerns at kosherqueers@gmail.com… and please spread the word about our podcast! We would love for more queer Jews to find us. Our artwork is by the talented Lior Gross. Our music is courtesy of the fabulous band Brivele, whose work you can find on Bandcamp. Go buy their album, they’re great. Our sound production this week is done by our excellent audio editor Ezra Faust. I’m Jaz Twersky and you can find me @WordNerdKnitter on Twitter. I recorded this audio on the traditional lands of the Lenape people. 
 
Lulav: I’m Lulav Arnow and you can find me @spacetrucksix on Twitter, or yell at me @palmliker! I recorded this audio on the traditional lands of the Wahpékute and Anishinaabeg. 
 
Ezra: I’m Ezra Faust, and I edited this audio on the traditional lands of the Lenape people.
 
Lulav: Have a lovely queer Jewish day!
 
[Brivele outro music]
 
Lulav: This week’s gender is: a transcontinental tango of exodus 
 
Jaz: This week’s pronouns are: they, them, and theirs