What Does the Bible Say About Marriage #2?

In this episode, Arnie, Glenn, Eric and Fred continue their discussion about marriage according to what the Bible says about it. Glenn begins by finishing the reference to the wife being the weaker vessel, why she is to be submissive to her husband as well as her and the husbands family responsibilities. There is a reminder that we must respect God's word and His authority when He established marriage. We next look at a couple of passages that tell us how long God intends for marriages to last. We move on to look at what the Bible says about divorce and the only situation where God allows it. In particular, we look at what Jesus said when the Pharisees questioned Him about divorce. We noted that Jesus went all the way back to the beginning to show them the truth of the matter. We talk about a number of the benefits of the marriage relationship and the responsibility husbands and wives have toward their children. We look at how a happily married couple keep one another from straying from the relationship into sin. We look at what Paul and the Hebrew writer had to say about this and how important it is. Jesus had something to say about our thinking and we discuss that. We conclude by noting that God specified what marriage is, the responsibilities of husbands and wives and how important it is to follow His instructions in order to have happy and faithful lives. Take about 30-minutes to listen in on our discussions. Have your Bible handy so you can verify what we are saying. There is a transcript of this Buzzsprout episode provided for your convenience.

Transcript

Fred Gosnell: 0:00

This is a presentation of the Woodland church of Christ, meeting at 3370 Broad Street in Sumter, South Carolina. We meet for worship on Sunday at ten thirty am and five thirty pm. We meet for bible study at nine thirty am on Sunday and seven pm on Wednesday. If you have questions or comments on this lesson, you may email them to Arnie Granke at a, g, r, a, n, k, e, 440718@twc.com or to Glenn Landrum at s, c, b, a, m, a, b, o, y, 2003@yahoo.com or to Eric McClam at e, r, i, c m, c, c, l, a m, 50@outlook.com or to Fred Gosnell at f, g, o, s, n, e, l, l @ftc-i.net.

Arnie: 0:56

Good afternoon. This is Arnie Granke and Fred Gosnell along with Eric and and Glenn. And this is what does the Bible say, brought to you by the church of Christ at Woodland in Sumter, South Carolina. If you happen to be in the Sumter area, we would invite you to to come and visit with us at 3370 Broad Street extension. We're just about two miles east of the Shaw Air Force Base main gate. So we're easy to find and and easy to find a parking space when you when you get here, and we would invite you to come and study with us, worship with us, talk about Bible things. And that's what we're going to do this afternoon, is talk about a Bible thing. Last week, we began to speak on the subject of marriage. We certainly didn't get it all said in one sitting. So we've had some other things that are of value, I think, to share with you, and we would welcome hearing your thoughts in that regard as as well. Glenn, would you pick up at this point?

Glenn: 2:13

Yes, I sure will. Last week, we we talked about, what's the definition of marriage, and particularly, what is the biblical or the godly definition of marriage? The last passage that we read was first Peter three, one through seven, and we didn't finish on the comments concerning that. A comment that we had down to make mention of was, it's a note about the weaker vessel. This is not referring to mental capacity or ability to care for others. God created men and women different. Men are bigger, stronger, faster. If we read the Old Testament, was God was more directly involved in lives of particularly the Israelites, we see that men were predominantly the Warriors and protectors of the families. We when we compare men and women physically, we see that men are, as mentioned, bigger, faster, stronger and usually more violent in nature. This does not translate to mental capacity or with relationship capability though. Women are every bit as smart, maybe even smarter than men. So why does God continually mention that women are to be submissive to their husbands. He tells us that it was Eve who was first deceived by Satan, and we must accept that. Earlier, we talked about respecting God's Word, His authority. And this applies in this case as well. You may have heard the saying, God said it, I believe it. That settles it. Even though that is not a scriptural statement, it is a good way for us to look at God's word the Bible. We often do need to question passages that we don't understand or make those that don't make sense to us, but in those cases, we need to study and we need to learn. God wants us to understand and to follow and obey. God gave the instruction that men are to be the providers, the protectors, the guardians of the family. He gave instruction that the women are to be the homemakers, the nourishers, the child bearers and the ones who take care of the household, including the husband. Although considering this marriage as a covenant, the two are in it together with best interest of interest of each other in mind.

Fred Gosnell: 4:49

Well, and I guess naturally, the next thing that we need to say is about, how long does God intend a marriage to last? And Glenn mentioned respecting God's Word and His authority. And of course, God is the one that instituted marriage. So Paul in Romans seven, one through three, he had something to say about this. He said, Or do you not know brethren? For I speak to those who know the law that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives. For a woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband, so that if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulterous, though she's has married another man. Then Paul in First Corinthians seven to the brethren in Corinth verses 39 and 40, he said, A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives. But if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment. And I think also I have the Spirit of God. Of course, Paul said the things that I write unto you are the commands of the Lord, and he had to receive those from the Holy Spirit. So when we look at these two passages, they apply to both men and women in the length of the marriage and the freedom after the death of one of the partners. So we see that the marriage supposed to last until the death of one of the parties in the marriage. And of course, God's the one that make makes these laws and makes these rules. So if the husband dies, the wife is no longer married, she has the right to remarry. If either the husband or the wife marries someone else while the first spouse is alive, the one who remarried puts themselves and the one they marry in an adulterous situation, remember, Paul said that she shall be called an adulteress. So and we know that adultery is a sin and it separates one from God. The passage in First Corinthians seven verse, verse 39 mentions that after the death of one spouse, the other is free from that marriage and can remarry. So there's only one situation we find in the scriptures in which God authorizes divorce, and I think Eric wants to talk about that,

Eric: 7:20

You know, going along with that. You know, there is only one, only one scripture that authorized divorce and and God also hates divorce. Divorces is not something that God had wanted, God wanted. Yeah, we spoke when we married, and Fred just finished reading. You know, it's a lifetime for life, and as long as each spouse is living, the other one is not supposed to remarry. But one died, then if they are free from, from, from the bond. But God does, he does not like divorce. And due to Malachi, Malachi 2, 16, it states that God hates divorce. Of course, in our society, even in the Old Testament, with the Jewish people, customs, traditions, and even the law the land, allowed divorce for any reason, for any different reason. Um, if y'all would turn with me, go with me to Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy chapter 24 and this is the law concerning divorce. When that was given to Moses, Moses had a certificate of divorce. It says, When a man takes a wife and marries her and and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house. When she is departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife if the latter husband detests her and writes her certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house. Or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife, then her former husband, who divorced her, must not take her back to be his wife after she had been defiled, for this is an abomination before the Lord, and you should not bring sin on your land, which the Lord, your God, is giving you as an inheritance. So right there in the Old Testament that that was giving us a certificate of divorce. But today, our nation and our nation, divorce is granted for simple reasons, we don't get along or in irreconcilable differences. Those are not scriptural, God authorized reason. In Matt, in Matthew chapter five, verses 31 to 32 Jesus said, and this is from the authority of Jesus saying, Furthermore it has been said, Whosoever divorces his wife, let him give her certificate of divorce. That right there, that passage, right there. We just finished reading in Deuteronomy, 24 verse one, but Jesus said, But I say unto you that whosoever divorces wife for any reason except sexual immorality, fornication causes her to commit adultery, and whosoever marries a woman who was divorced committeth adultery. So we see Jesus refute the custom or tradition that had been established by Moses in the Old Testament. Jesus said this again, Matthew, chapter 19, verses four to 10, of which we already read, verses four and five. But he gives a bit more detail. And then that passage, it says, And He answered them and said to them, and he answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who had made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this reason, the man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become, the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer but one flesh, no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God hath joined together, let no man separate. They said unto him, why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away? He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. And I say unto you, whosoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery, and whosoever marries her who is divorced committethadultery. His disciples said unto him, If such is the case of the man and his wife, it is better not to marry.

Arnie: 12:11

Still, it's an interesting thing. Sometimes people come along and say that, well, they think that they're an exception to the rule for some reason, they come up with some lopsided ideas and foolish reasoning. A lot of times, men will say that, you know, it's the woman that's if she commits adultery, yeah, he can, he can divorce her. And that's not, that's not altogether true. He can do that. But the same applies to the man as to the woman. No difference in rules there, as God has set it forth in the Old Testament and and as Jesus certified that, agreed with with with that. It's, it's very important, I think to note that Jesus had said that from the beginning, it was not so. God did not originate the idea there, when he when he put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, he did, He didn't give him a lawyer and, and some kind of a rule about divorce. From the beginning it was not so and, and by saying that Jesus was saying that Moses made a rule that God did not authorize that's not so either. Well, there, there are some things that Moses said that are different from the Bible, so that may have been counted as a as a different rule, but I'm not so sure that Moses wasn't also inspired. Every of the, all of the Old Testament writers were inspired individuals and so I suspect that that Moses may have been inspired with the things that he said as well. If you brethren disagree with that, go ahead and say so here, when I when I finish this, this up. But the passage says that Moses made the rule because of the hardness of your hearts, and this the basic reason for our for our own laws in the United States and in most states that allow divorce for some reason other than than adultery. People of our land didn't make didn't like the laws that were so restrictive that they pushed for legislation where they could divorce for almost any reason. That doesn't change God's law doesn't affect it, at all, it remains the same. And therefore anyone who violates God's law is is sinning. And that there are consequences to sin. It's not just it's a little sin, and then it's over and it's forgotten, not necessarily so. And and there may be eternal consequences to that if that's not repented of there. So we've already discussed what sin does. It separates us from God and and in order to correct that sin situation, a person needs to confess his sin to God, to ask for forgiveness and to turn away, in other words, to stop committing that sin and others as well. Most people say that this is too harsh and that it creates more problems. So that they justify, or at least they try to justify divorce for reasons other than fornication and adultery, because they try to rationalize that God would not want them to create other problems such as divorce, the current, third, second, third, fourth, spouse and on down the list, however many there, there may come to be or cause the children to be separated from one of the parents. God doesn't want us to sin, and it's that simple. God will hold us accountable for our sins and and for our lawlessness, and we better recognize it, and we better apply it.

Fred Gosnell: 16:45

But let me point out something here. When, when the Jews asked, asked Jesus there, they said, Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce. Well, that's not all the conversation. Mark has the rest of the conversation in Mark 10, verse three, three and four. So there, Mark says it. He answered them and said to him, What did Moses command you? So then they said Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement and to put heraway. So, so Moses never commanded anybody to get divorced. That's what the Pharisees said. So Jesus put them on the spot. So what, what did Moses command you? Well, he said he suffered, or he allowed us to write a bill of divorcement and to put her away. And then, of course, then answer. Jesus answered and said unto them, for the hardness of your heart, he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female, and for this cause shall they leave father and mother and cleave to his wife. They shall become one flesh. So so they were trying to put Jesus on the spot, get him to say something that the Bible didn't say. And so he corrected them, and Moses allowed that, and he was inspired that was allowed under the Old Testament law. And of course, but Jesus said that's not the way God intended. And of course, those passages we read from the New Testament, we find out that we are intended to be married, husband and wife for life, and there's only one exception for divorce, and that is for unfaithfulness or fornication.

Glenn: 18:27

You know, Fred, thank you for bringing that up. You know, it's really important, what Fred this, this idea that Fred brought up, and the idea is basically telling us that we can't pick and choose a particular passage all the time. Sometimes we can pick a passage and that passage applies universally to us, but many times, passages are amplified or made more correct by other passages that we read, and that's the case when we read what Moses wrote about divorce and what Jesus, Who is God, said the truth was about it. And Jesus corrected the situation about what the Pharisees were trying to trip him up on. Well, there's many other passages we could look at to further establish the point, but I believe that's enough for now, and the other passages would be for a further study. We have established that marriage is a good thing and that it is an institution God created. We did not say that directly, but it was implied through what we read and spoke about. We did show that God created man. He created woman to be his companion and that is creating the institution of marriage. We have mentioned that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and as much as they love themselves. Women are to respect their husbands and submit to them as the family head, just as Christ is the head of the body, the church. There is one more area we want to cover in this lesson, and it'll be briefly. We want to talk about a few of the things that go on in a marriage. When we get married, we are forming a relationship between two people that may very well produce children, thus enlarging the group within the marriage. Proverbs, 22 verse six says, Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Deuteronomy, six, six and seven, says, And these words, which I command you today, shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall talk to them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. Proverbs, 20, verse seven, says, The righteous man walks in his integrity, his children are blessed after him. As parents of children, husbands and wives have the responsibility to train and teach their children how to live and to love and respect God. By doing so, they give the best opportunity for their children to grow into productive citizens and more importantly, ones who love, respect and obey God. Husbands and wives have a key role in keeping one another from committing sin, particularly sexual sin. We had already mentioned how the wife and through her attitude and behavior influences the husband. Now we will look at how the husband and the wife help each other not to commit sexual sins. We will look particularly at two passages that deal directly with this subject.

Eric: 22:14

And those passages, then that one of the passages we read is the Hebrews 13, verse four, where it says Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers, God will judge. This passage is pretty direct, pretty direct and the data let us know that the marital relation between the husband and wife is perfectly good and right. In past years in the Western Europe, Western world, European America, sexual relations, even between the husband and wife, were looked at as being something that married couples only did in order to procreate or have children. This passage refutes that idea and let us know that those relations between a husband and wife are good and there is no sin in practicing those relations. If you would like to see more about the material of the marital relationship between a husband and wife, read through the Songs of Solomon.

Arnie: 23:18

I'm looking at First Corinthians, chapter, seven, brethren, and and verse one, where Paul writes, he said, Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife. Let each wife, woman, have her own husband, Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her and likewise, also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does, Do not deprive one another, except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves say to fasting and prayer and and come together again, so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control. So notice that Paul is writing this. Paul's, of course, is an inspired apostle, and he's, he's telling what the Holy Spirit has has given him to say. So this isn't just just a Pauline invention of some sort. It's, it's a biblical reality. It's what the Bible, Bible teaches on that subject.

Fred Gosnell: 24:46

So, so that when we look carefully at that passage, so so it lets us know that it's the duty of both the husband and the wife to pursue marital relations, to pleasure one another. You know, sometimes it is used as a punishment. Sometimes, you know, husbands or wives have something against the wife, and then, well, they'll withhold sexual relations from them. And of course, what that then does, It leaves one open to find it elsewhere. So one of the main reasons given to keep each other from having desires that would drive them to outside the marriage to fulfill it. But of course, that is not the only reason. Notice that verses three through five, it mentions that husbands and wives should not deprive one another, which means that when one desires to have relations that the other should not refuse. Paul, through the Holy Spirit, goes even further by saying that the wife owns the husband's body. Some husbands might not not hear that, but that's what Paul by the Spirit says. And the other half is and the husband owns the wife's body. So this would indicate that when one or the other desires to have relations, that they should have relations, this keeps both the man and the woman satisfied and not prone to sexually sin outside the marriage. This may be a very overlooked passage by men and women. Glenn.

Glenn: 26:16

Yeah. Concerning that last thought, I think of Matthew 5, 27, to 30. You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not commit adultery. But I say unto you that whosoever looks at a woman to lust up for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you, for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you, for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. This relates directly to the subject we're talking about. Jesus said that if we look at a woman, it would also apply to a woman looking at or desiring a man and lust for her, he has already committed adultery in his heart. The solution he suggests plucking out one's eye and cutting off one's hands are the extremes to keep one from sinning. God, through the Holy Spirit, has given the the married solution. The married a solution for this keep one another so satisfied that desire or lust for anyone else does not even come up. If we were to think in these terms about each other, it would be very possible there would be a lot less adultery. Husbands and wives have the power given to them to help one another avoid sexual sin.

Fred Gosnell: 27:59

So I guess the conclusion is that marriage is defined by God, just one man, one woman, for as long as they live. That excludes any other combination of people, man with man, woman with woman, man with many women, or woman with many men. There are a number of groups in our society that want to make those restricted combinations the norm. And of course, that's why we're having this study to point out what the Bible says. Or, of course, any other perversion of what God has set forth. Partners in the event of the death of their spouse, have the right to remarry. Husbands and wives have the responsibility to teach and to train their children to love, respect and to follow God. And that's, when we look at what the Bible teaches, that's probably the main reason why God expects us to have husbands and wives to raise up the children and then to teach them the same thing that God requires, to respect God's authority and to respect what he says. So the husband the wife has the responsibility to keep one another from sexual sin. The husband has been given the responsibility to be the leader or the head of the family, is to love and cherish, protect his wife. Wife has a responsibility to respect her husband, set a good example for him, and to take care of the family. And of course, that what that shows us is that the husbands and wives, they are equal as far as human beings are concerned, but their function is different, and God is the one that has specified those functions.

Arnie: 29:47

He's identified what each one, each one's responsibility in the life, in life and to the family amounts to and we're obligated to expect that and to and to follow that, as God has has said. Now I'm afraid that there'll be consequences if we fail in in that regard, something other than just our partner committing adultery, or something along that line, something of an eternal nature. We appreciate you listening to us again this afternoon. We look forward to being with you again next Lord's day afternoon. And we hope that you'll consider the things that we've talked about, and if you disagree with any of the things that we've that we've read, that we've mentioned, by all means, give us a holler and we'll we'll be glad to correct it if there's an error, or maybe we can explain to you a little more of the reasoning behind each of those passages of Scripture. We look forward to being with you again next Lord's, Lord's day, we hope that you'll have a good week.