How to Love Yourself Through it All with Jacqueline Burbage

Today we're busting holistic health myths and exploring the themes of somatic healing, self-compassion, and slowing down enough to build self-trust.

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Keywords
somatic healing, self-compassion, motherhood, emotional awareness, healing journey, nervous system, mindfulness, personal growth, compassion, self-acceptance, dysregulated nervous system, self-awareness, mindfulness, holistic health, aging gracefully, inner cues, nervous system regulation, simplicity, self-trust, emotional well-being

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Somatic Healing
02:35 Deserving Peace and Healing
05:18 Awareness and Acceptance in Healing
07:59 The Journey of Self-Compassion
10:03 Compassion for Self and Others
13:39 Navigating Judgment and Non-Judgment
17:06 The Need for Speed vs. Slowness
26:08 Embracing the Journey of Healing
29:26 Understanding Dysregulation and Self-Awareness
32:48 The Importance of Meeting Ourselves Where We Are
35:25 Breaking the Cycle of Urgency and Multitasking
40:03 Navigating Holistic Health Myths
43:01 Embracing Aging and Inner Cues
49:10 Finding Ease in Simplicity and Self-Trust

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What would love do, right? Like what would love do right now? And it's like all of these moments that we're activated and that we might want to like figure it out. We're also living in our emotional brain, right? So there's a lot of this happening in moments of wanting to fix, wanting to have a solution, wanting to have an answer, right? So the pause we get in the body, right? Because the body, the body is where the wisdom is stored.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Hey, welcome to the Raising Wild Hearts Podcast. This is Ryan, your host. If you are new here, I want to extend the warmest welcome to you. I am so excited that you found this little corner of the internet that I call a podcast and really a home. This is a place where I have conversations with experts and authors in a variety of different fields. And basically, we are getting to the heart of the matter on how to live life well. And for me, it all starts at home. So we can only love our community as much as we can love ourselves in our own minds and hearts. And then that extends out to our families here at the Raising Wild Hearts Podcast. We are all about changing the world by starting at home. And every single person I bring on this podcast is intentionally so that they can teach us, that's right, us, me, and you, something about living life well, loving ourselves well, and loving our people well. And so again, I am thrilled you are here. I hope that you come back week after week for these amazing conversations. I publish interview episodes every Monday, and every once in a while I will pop on with a solo episode of something I want to teach you or something that's just really on my heart to talk about. So a little about me, and then I will tell you about our amazing guests today. I am Ryan Watkin. I am a mom of three. I am a wife to my wonderful husband, Nate. I am a professional speaker, I am a creative educator, which means I love to teach and I find unique ways to teach the things that I know people want to hear about. My most recent class was a purposeful podcasting course. So if you've ever thought about creating your own podcast, hit me up. You can DM me on Instagram or just slide into my email inbox, which is hello at raisingwildhearts.com, and I can send you a copy of that free training that I did. It was absolutely phenomenal, and the feedback I got was amazing. So if you want to connect with me and hear more about my story, you can head over to my website, raisingwildhearts.com. And there's a button in the top of the site, it says get the free book list, or you can scroll all the way down and sign up for news and updates from Raising Wild Hearts with Ryan Watkin. And I will slide in your inbox once a week, I promise. Only once, I mean maybe twice, if there's something really amazing going on. And in those little weekly love notes on Wednesday morning that I send out, I talk a bit about my story, I talk a bit about some inspiration, some just like sweet little notes to keep you going on Hump Day. So if you want to connect that way, um head over to my website and you can sign up for the mailing list there. But enough about me. Let's get into today's interview with Jacqueline Burbage. Jacqueline is a seasoned trauma-informed yoga teacher and certified yoga therapist based in Delray Beach, Florida. With over 16 years of experience, she weaves neurosomatic practices, yoga philosophy, and the full system of yoga to support body-mind connection and personal transformation. Yes, please. Jacqueline is an alumna of the University of Florida. She's deeply committed to helping women feel at home in their bodies and supporting fellow body-based practitioners. Also, her intention is to hold space where others feel seen, heard, and met with comfort while building capacity for resilience and inner strength. I know you guys will hear that in this conversation. It is an absolutely beautiful conversation that I'm having today. Jacqueline works one-on-one with clients, leads international retreats, and offers Sacred Sister Circles, spaces where women gather to recognize that they are not alone in their feelings and life experiences. She also has an online platform coming soon to make her teachings more accessible to a wider community. Yay! Through the integration of Yoga Postures, Breath Work, Mindfulness, and Evidence-based somatic practices, Jacqueline helps others release limiting beliefs, reconnect with their inner wisdom, and live from a place of greater clarity, compassion, and ease. Again, yes, please. We cover so much ground in this conversation. I cannot wait for you to hear it. We talk about safety in the body, we talk about breath work, we talk about my somatic group experience that I had with Jacqueline and some of the feelings that I worked through in that. And we cover so much more. So let's just jump into today's interview with Jaclyn Burbage. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Hi, Jacqueline. Welcome to the Raising Wild Hearts podcast.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Hi, Ryan. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Yeah, I'm so excited to have you here. And the place I really want to jump off is I did a somatic group session with you in a beautiful group that our mutual friend Ashley put on together. And this was, I guess, probably a few months ago now. And so the experience was beautiful. And it was also, it was actually everything. It was a little bit of everything rolled up in one package for me. And what was going on is you were walking us through this beautiful set of poses and breath and really encouraging, inviting us to come back home to ourselves. And that's those are my words. And that's what it felt like for me. Interestingly enough, I had my toddler present with me who was using me as a jungle gym. And I went through the full range of emotions, everything from, oh, this is bliss. Look at my toddler's on me. And he's feeling my energy. And he's in this room filled with like this beautiful presence to, oh my God, this is so annoying. My toddler is climbing on me. Can't I just get a minute of freaking peace? Which actually spiraled into a little bit of, I don't want to say rage because it certainly wasn't that intense, but really frustration. And for me, reflecting on it, looking back on it, integrating it, it was really this like holistic bird's eye view of what the motherhood experience has been for me thus far. It's been that bliss, that joy, and that frustration and that rage, that paradox all in one package. So I'm curious for you, in your experience, what would you tell a woman who's feeling that need to heal, that need to feel, but won't really allow herself to slow down enough to do so.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

First thing that comes to mind is you deserve this. And reason being is in the nervous system, you know, education and training that I've done and that I do, you know, a big part of our habits, our patterns, our thought systems, our beliefs, our stories, our ideas, right? They are stem from the operating system or the safety system, the nervous system. And underneath the science, underneath the biophysiology of the nervous system is our childhood or our ways of how we were raised, ways of how we were raised. Yes, I said that correctly. The caregivers, the parents or not parents, and it lives with us, it lives within us. So first and foremost is that you deserve this because that underlying limited belief might be, not for everyone, but might be, and it's a general statement that I don't deserve it. I don't deserve peace. I don't deserve calm, right? Maybe it could be that I'm not worthy of it, same, same but different, right? Or another story that we have been indoctrinated is I don't have time, right? Or I got the goosebumps, another story, and and and that's where my my medicine and what I do stems from is recognizing the stories and the limiting beliefs that we've carried, ours or not ours. So that there's no time, I don't deserve, I'm not worthy, right? Um, there's a sense of urgency to have everything else done before me, or that others matter most, right? So you deserve it is what I would start off with. And then we could peel all the layers.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Beautiful. That's perfect. And so many of us need to hear that. And I think even when we hear a statement like that, we don't quite believe it. And so I love that you said beliefs, because we can hear something all day long. We can even say something all day long until we choose to what I like to say walk the talk. That's when the magic, the healing, the medicine actually takes root. So for somebody which everybody here, right, needs to reframe those beliefs, what would you say to them who like this person has these beliefs that perhaps they're not even conscious of? There's no time. I'm not enough. I don't deserve it. Everybody else's needs matter more than mine.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

How do we start recognizing and then subsequently reframing those beliefs that really don't serve what my mission, my purpose, my dharma is in like a brief sentence in a in a podcast? Um it starts, it starts with awareness, right? I do believe, since I've been on the path for over 20 years of my own personal development and um starts with awareness. So for those of us, and I'll speak, I'll include myself always because I'm on the journey as well with everyone. And it's that once we have that awareness, then can we accept it? Because there really would be no room for growth and what I believe no possibility or maybe less of a chance to really shift. And I use shift a lot lately. So first is that awareness. And there might be, you know, women that are listening to this that aren't aware until they just, oh wow, maybe that's interesting. Maybe they're scratching their head. And so that just opened up the door, just a small little crack. So if there is that awareness, then what's next is can I accept this part of me, right? Do I accept this part of me? Do I have even the smallest amount of willingness to accept that this is a part of me without judging? That's where this work really can go deep is if we could allow space of non-judgment. And so then when we have no judgment, we already have the awareness piece, we have the acceptance piece, we have the no judgment piece piece, then it's like, okay, now what? And the most simplest now what answer is just be. And like, okay, but then it takes us back to, well, I can't be because, and then it's just be. And then it's just be again, because my friends, this is a practice. It is, it's so much, it's so cliche. It's a practice, you know, but practice and consistency to to come back again and again. And I just wanted to add, when you use the word reframe, that's not wrong. I actually use that word quite a bit. And also with spiritual practices, it's a remembering, right? I was at another event last night, and and her modality is about coming back to wholeness and coming back to that we are perfect. And I was like, Oh, yes, sing it, sister, like same, same. So yeah, we can reframe those thoughts, those beliefs that we've accumulated, right, and just taken on, and also remember. Remember our core, our essence, like our beingness, like we're human beings.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

I wrote an email to my people uh a few weeks ago talking about my favorite love story, which is the love story of loving myself, coming home to myself. And I've been on the path for a decade, and only really recently have I realized that this is the the through line of the story is like loving me, you know, compassion for me. And that's because that's where it all starts, you know, that's where the energy starts. That's where what I do in the world starts, that's where how I show up for my kids and my family and my community. It's where it all begins. So, you know, the path gets really smooth sailing and then it gets rocky and windy again. And no matter which step I'm on, I say, here I am. Here I am, here I am. And it's it's in every moment, in every moment. And it's cliche for a reason that it's practice, you know, it it because it is. And the word remembering, Jaclyn, like I've been playing with this word lately because I'm interpreting the opposite of remembering as dismembering. And I was like, whoa, how have I not made this correlation before? If you think of dismemberment, you're thinking of maybe like, I mean, somebody like losing their limbs, like, you know, not to be like gory, but kind of literally, that's like what it is to lose like a limb or something like that, or to be torn apart or broken apart so that remembering is us becoming whole again. So I love that you use that word. I'd love to, there's so much here. There's so much self-compassion. Like we we could talk for five hours just on self-compassion. I know we could. And so I'd love to see if you have anything to add of how we practice that self-compassion. And then I want to take it a step further and talk about how we can have compassion for others when we're not agreeing with choices or their beliefs or their actions.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

I love that you pulled out the self-compassion piece in the sense of like the remembering and being with, because that is the foundation of somatic practices. That is the foundation for my somatic yoga and yoga therapy, in the sense of like, if this is our vessel, right? This is what we said coming home to body, then like how do you treat your home, right? How do you, and temples and churches, right? Like a place of worship, if you have a practice in her religion, right? Even like taking off your shoes when you walk into somebody's house, right? Understanding like the germs and the bacteria, especially when there's little ones around, right? And like, so, so why don't we do that to ourselves? And why don't we do that is because what we have seen, heard, and learned from others, you know, the generations before us, the books, the magazines, the TV shows, and then and and this deep, deep misunderstanding of what we need to feel our best, this deep misunderstanding of what's what's important to have a healthy and happy life. So if we could recognize that and recognize that we're not alone, this is the piece of the compassion. And then how for me, when I started my my love story, I love that you said that, I was like, yes, I can relate. And when I was understanding of my nervous system and understanding of my childhood experiences, and you know, without blame or fault on anyone or any specific thing, like even those stories, they started to lessen and and and get lower and quieted. And then I was like, oh, and then I have compassion for that little girl of mine, like the Jaclyn at five years old, that Jaclyn at 12 years old, Jaclyn at even 18, you know, her boyfriend cheated on her, and and the list goes on of all these things. And I was like, it's okay. Like, you are okay, you are safe. I love you, I hold you here. And that is when I started to really recognize that if I am offering that to myself, then I could offer that to others. But I could not offer that to others until I felt and experienced that for me. And the compassion piece in all honesty, Ryan, and is, and this might sound silly to some people who are haven't heard this before, but we are all little kids in just a big kid body. We are all like, we are all children in an adult, you know, form. And so when I saw that in my parents, when I saw that in my husband, you know, my sister and clients, and then I just hold my hand on my heart. I'm like, I see you, little boy, I see you, little girl. And then there was more of like the sweetness, like an innocence, right? And and then there might be a part that shows up, like, but you're an adult, like grow up, right? I've got that part too, and others might have that, like, okay, you're 40, you know, plus years old. Grow up. No, like I'm just compassionately holding a little girl inside of me. And so as best as I can, I'm not perfect at this, as best as I can, I can remember and remind myself that the whole compassion for the little boy or little girl in front of me as well. Because I I wouldn't yell at them, right? I wouldn't judge them.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Yeah, when I think of compassion, because I lately my work is to really tap into the feeling of gratitude, the in my body. Like, what does it feel like to be grateful? Not just listing a list, you know. So, what does it feel like to be grateful? What does it feel like to be compassionate? And whenever I'm tapping in to that compassionate feeling, which I do every single morning to start my day, I think of like a mom or a matriarch with her hands like this on somebody's chin. That's a somatic practice. You know, that person's eyes, that child's eyes, and just going, Yeah, honey. Oh, honey. And then I do that for myself. I do that for my kids, I do that for the extended family, and then I end up having the entire earth right here in my hand. And that's what that feels like. So if you want to get tapped in and tuned in to these somatic feelings, a lot of what Jacqueline teaches, you are a absolute goddess at this. This is um, you know, the start of that of like what does it feel like for me to feel that?

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Yes, perfect. And to that point, when you said Mother Earth, we are as feminine bodies, right? And mothers, we are mother earth. And in ancient practices and indigenous cultures, you know, as well as, you know, yoga philosophy and and chakra and the systems of energetics, we are elements. We are earth, we are water, we are fire, we are air, we are ethers, right? And you know, there's a beautiful song, Earth My Body. I'm not gonna sing and hurt your listeners' ears. Uh, I'm working out my my throat chakra. Um, but right, so when we hold, if we're holding ourselves and we're holding Mother Earth, you know, and even um for women with who do not have children in this lifetime, like we are still carrying that energy of mothering and of motherness. And um, and I love that you use this one. Another one, if I may throw in, is just like a little self-hug, a little container. And often it's taught right hand under the left arm, left hand over the right shoulder. Like, imagine just giving yourself like a nice big hug. And sometimes this can be too much for people, like you know, with just body conversations. So we'll save that for another time. So another gentler one might be just holding the head, the front of the head, and the back of the head. That could also be, you know, and it's nice to have like two or three options. It could be overwhelming with more than that, you know. So I just wanted to add that if this didn't feel good for somebody, and if this didn't feel good, there's always this.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

I have my right hand on my forehead, and then my left hand just on the back of my head. That feels it's so calming.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Yeah, and this is like known as container, like self-container, because oftentimes for those who might be dissociated or who are just overwhelmed, you know, we we use the term anxiety, right? Or frazzled or flustered, and then we're just kind of like ah, like a little spaz, we know with lack of a better term for the moment, but the sense of, okay, here I am. Here I am. Here I am, like what you said before.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Here I am. Yeah. I want to come back to that, like our need for speed, because that is so relevant in my life. And I have just been on this lifelong journey of need for speed, need for slowness, this kind of um yes, the the paradox of the two. But so now I want to talk about an example that I had come up recently, and maybe just when we have um conversations like this, when we have experiences like this, maybe advice from you on what we can best do to serve ourselves and others. So I was talking to an old acquaintance and she was just saying some really challenging things about one of her children, and it had to do with all sorts of medical interventions and things that my brain and body started to feel very oh, I'm gonna cry. So this is what I actually felt. I felt so sad for this kid. I felt so sad. And then I felt so sad for her because you know, that's a lot to carry for a parent. But I skipped over those and I went straight to judgment in my analytical mind. And I went, well, it must be because this and this, and I should tell her that this, this, and this, and I could fix it by this, this, and this. And I wonder if she knew this research study about this, this, and this. And that's where I went. And what I what I did on the outside was, oh, God, that sounds so hard. You know, how are you coping? How are you taking care of yourself? But on the inside, my body was going from zero to 60 with all of these things in like a second. So when we have these experiences, which we often do, whether it's at home or at work, wherever we are out in the community, what would be, what would you do? Or what would you advise a client to do who is in this experience where she's having to hold both, you know, the the judgment but and the non-judgment, and trying to really like play with this analytical mind.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Yes. Well, of course, I just want to honor you for sharing that and for allowing your emotions to be expressed so vulnerably. I'm a big fan of that. So anytime um we can emote, you know, publicly and and also, you know, you have this role. You, this is your podcast, this is you're the interviewer, and I just wanted to acknowledge you that I see you and thank you. Yeah. Um, a couple thoughts came to mind as you were sharing that. And I'm I'm I'm hoping I could pull it all together. But first and foremost, I want to start off with of course that's what you thought and felt. Like, of course that's what you thought and felt for many reasons. And one I want to share is that we are wired for safety, right? First and foremost. And we are also, because of that, have a negative bias, negativity bias. So I just wanted to like name that that is the part that like judges, right? And you know, perhaps it was also what I heard a part of that was your compassion for self and for other. Maybe in that moment you were putting yourself in her shoes, and perhaps you were like, Well, this is what I would do or what I would want to do. So, not bad or wrong. I just wanted to acknowledge that that's okay. And of course, right, you are a mother, and so I just think that's really important to allow that to have space, that it's not bad or wrong. And then the other piece is, you know, a lot of us do have these sides of us, right? No matter your astrological sign. Um, and and we have, you know, as a as a woman, again, without even having children, we have that instinct to want to fix, right? And and men have that as well, right? And we want to have an answer, we want to nourish and nurture. So, how do we create space for all of that is what I'm hearing, right? How do we create space that not to think that one is bad or wrong, good or you know, or or better, but like, how can I hold the space and allow for it all to be here? And I could like to pause with that and let it land for the listeners because oftentimes we are judging ourselves for judging. We are judging ourselves for wanting to fix and like that we have the answer for somebody else. So just taking a pause with that and allowing it to marinate for just a moment. And like I wonder like where have where else is that showing up in your life, you know, and where else does that show up in the listener's life? Because how we do one thing is how we do everything. And so for a client or I call health seeker now, for a person that's in front of me, I always recommend a pause. I always recommend a pause, right? Pausing again, and for allowing, like so and just just letting it like percolate, right? And so, like, we're doing this like percolating, we're doing this marinating thing, and then we could like drop in, right? Like I like what would love do, right? Like, what would love do right now? And it's like all of these moments that we're activated and that we might want to like figure it out. We're also living in our emotional brain, right? So there's a lot of this happening in moments of wanting to fix, wanting to have a solution, wanting to have an answer, right? So the pause we get in the body, because the body, and this is the final answer, the body is where the wisdom is stored. The body is innate, in innate wisdom. And so if we could pause, take a breath, feel the feet on the ground, right? Come back to earth, come back to earth body.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Yeah, beautiful. And I felt in that pause, I felt that um the opening, the spaciousness, the allowance for just what is, you know, all of it. So that is a beautiful practice, and thank you so much. And, you know, even I want to add, when you said that, you said pause and you said come back. I had this need to kind of arch my back, and I saw you kind of move side to side. And it when we allow in the body, then we can, I can, I don't know if this is universal or not, drop out of the mind, which I'm so habitually just married to, because I want to be smart and I want to be a fixer and I want to be a go-getter and an ambitious and all the things we were taught to be. And so I think it's up here. But when I come down here, I'm like, oh, that feels good. Like that, that's nice. That feels allowing, right? Um, and so for me, this is a practice of femininity as well. I'm stepping into this feminine role in my partnership. I'm married to a man and I am stepping into this feminine role, which by just doing nothing other than that is allowing him to step up in the masculine. Whether I tell him that I'm stepping into this feminine or not, he just steps up and kind of with his chest back and flexes his muscles. And I'm like, ooh. And then that makes me want to allow more. And then that makes him want to step up more. And I just thought, yes, like we could do this whole thing on this polarity. It's a dance. It's a dance. And I talked about this like a couple. Years ago, when I was really starting to dive into masculine and feminine with my um the interview with Andre Parody, actually. It was one of my first interviews. If you guys want to go back and listen, and we dove in then and I didn't, I got it in my head, but I didn't get it in my body. And now, two years later, I feel what that feels like. And it's so cool to see my evolution, the evolution, evolution of the show, and I hope the evolution of you guys here listening along with me. So it's great. Now let's, yes. Now let's talk about our need for speed. One of the other things in my session with you and our beautiful group session was I found myself um saying, This is too slow. I'm I'm bored. I'm I don't think I'm doing it right. I, I, I don't know. Am I feeling anything? I don't know. Is that something? Oh, maybe that's something. Again, super in the mind. And I felt this need to like get up and like I felt like buzzy, you know? And um ultimately I understand just kind of what we just teased apart, this um requirement for us to show up grounded, slower, spacious in this society. We are trained for speed, we are uh conditioned to be fast, to hustle, to go, to work hard, all these things we hear growing up and still today. So, what do you tell to someone, someone that has that that need for speed, who's like, I am a go-getter through and through.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Meet yourself where you're at is what I want to first say. Um and I want to add just another little layer to you said that we've been trained, right? There is this entrainment, if that's the right word, you know, that happens through society and through culture. And also, I don't know your story. I'm gonna generalize this because I I do believe our childhood and how we created what felt safe for us as a younger person. And the science says, you know, in somatic and nervous system uh understandings now, you know, through researchers like Stephen Porgis, you know, through teachers like Deb Dana and Dr. Ariel Schwartz and Bessel Vanderkock, and we could list and Dr. Peter Levine, right? That there's actually science and research and Dr. in Dick Schwartz, IFS, that uh from zero to seven, eight, nine, we learned how to protect ourselves, or we learned and created a belief around this is how I'm safe, right? So again, not to say for you, but generally speaking, I feel for someone who is in a speedy um mind, you know, or the need, it's like that's what feels safe. That's what feels comfortable, this is what I know. And, you know, maybe we would think for a moment, and we could pause on this. What does a seven-year-old know about, you know, speeding up? Okay, well, maybe the seven-year-old was running away from mommy or daddy and then fill in the blank, right? As an example, I need to run away to feel safe. I got the goosebumps. So if that seven-year-old learned to run away, then we are in the sympathetic. We are in fight or flight, right? Where if somebody else learned to shut down, to hide, to like run into a closet, for example. I have a memory of that. That's why I use that as an example. You know, so maybe there's more dorsal, and this is polyvagal theory I'm alluding to. So maybe that's more freeze state or shutdown, right? And I have a teacher who, you know, I'm learning from, and the conversation has been quite a bit like most of us, most of us, and sorry, not sorry, you might not like to hear this. Most of us are living in a dysregulated nervous system. So, to the need for speed is that. So when we can meet ourselves where we're at, which is how I started the answer, is like, okay, I I see this part of me. I see, I feel this part of me. And girl, I'm doing this work right now myself, and it's awesome, and it sucks at the same time. I love it, I hate it, it's so good, it's so bad, it's all of the things in between. And and I witnessed it, and I I may have shared it on an Instagram post like the need to have like the dishwasher empty, the sink cleaned out before I leave the house, right? You know, the bed made, the floor is cleaned. And then I leave to go see my clients, right? This doesn't happen often. But if I woke up and I did not regulate or do my practice, that's what I'm doing, dysregulated. And until I could pause and do everything I already talked about in this last 30 minutes, and until I can remember it's a practice, and I could shift, my favorite word, then I can respond without reacting. Then I could pause literally and be like, hey, dishwasher, I'll get back to you later. You know, hey, floor, it's been a couple days, you know, like you're gonna still be dirty for a couple more hours. And as silly as it might sound, like that's where my work is now is like talking to those parts of me and also apparently talking to inadiment objects. And then that's that's the reframe, that's the retrain, right? And again, it goes back to this very beginning of our conversation, awareness, right? Okay, so now I heard you say that you are aware, right? And it's really beautiful that you had your child walk all over you like a jungle gym, you mentioned, and that you still had that experience for yourself. So that months later, because you know, time collapses and can be an illusion for some of us if we choose to see it that way. It's a perfect timing. Because now, maybe today at the end of this call, you might look around the space or might pause and check in hand to heart and then sense that heart racing, right? Or sense like the body heat temperature rising, all the things that it does when we're in fight or flight, and then come back to the body with the simple side-to-side movement, right? With the simple, you know, just sitting on the floor. But if that's not where you're at, then walk a gentle walk in nature. It literally meeting ourselves where we're at, instead of wanting that quick fix or acknowledge that we might be extreme. Like here I am right now, but I want to be here and I gotta get there in three seconds or less. Okay, no. What if I just saw where I'm at, took a pause? Okay, how can I get there? And then we slowly pile in all the somatic practices, all the yoga poses, all the nervous system regulation, but it's meaning ourselves we're at, and again, back to I'm repeating myself, back to the non-judgment, back to the allowing. And and and it's like on repeat. It's like a broken record.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

You know, to me, that becomes affirmation, possibly. And that becomes those thoughts that we choose to focus on rather than the, you know, the other thoughts that really don't serve us. And for me, I was always uh being rushed. I have slash had an anxious mama. And she was always very uh, it's time to do this, it's time to clean, it's time to get it, it's always time, time, time, time. And there's not enough time and time and and so even like getting out of the house in the morning, like tying the shoes, everything was bam, bam, bam, bam. So one of my practices, and again, it's a practice with my own children, is really feeling that need to want to, you know, bark commands at them to to because we do have to stay on schedule. You know, we do, we do have that.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

Time ex the time does exist in a 3D world. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Yes. So we do have, you know, engagements that we need to make it to. And so, but while we're getting out the door for those engagements, while they're finishing their preparations for the day or the things that they want to do, or whatever it may be, I have to soften that much more because I when I, you know, bark the commands, when I hurry, rush, then I just know, first of all, I'm showing up energetically in a mismatch of what I say I want to do and the mom I want to be and know I am. And then second of all, they're taking that into their nervous systems, into their days, into their experiences in and out of the house. And that's the, the, the foundation for their day then. And so I really awareness in those moments. That's my big practice right now. And, you know, possibly always. I know it won't always be like this with little kids, but um, right now it is.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Yeah, I keep saying the sense of urgency. And, you know, like you you acknowledged mama, and I could acknowledge both of my parents, but my dad still to this day, you know, we just had a conversation about it again. Like it's that sense of urgency that, and I'm doing an IFS work right now myself, and like the legacy burdens is what's recently come up, like what we have learned from our parents. And the second piece to that I want to share, because I think this is important for people, is like the multitasker. What, you know, I'm not gonna go into labels, I'm not a doctor, but for years I would like, I really was really proud, like I, you know, proud of being a multitasker until recently I learned, no, that's limbic system, that's emotional brain. We are actually not wired for multitasking. So my back went out a couple months ago. It was a life lesson, all the things, it's another podcast. But one thing that I got out of it for me was one thing, one thing, one thing at a time. And so when I multitask, I'm literally not present. I'm not being mindful. It's that sense of urgency that I could get three things done in one minute. And that has been my practice. But I want to finish this, Ryan. So important to really get this in to the listeners is that we could say all the things we want to say. I do love affirmations, I do love mantras, right? But there is still that deep sense of am I safe or am I not safe? And that only lives in the body, you know, and and safe and trauma and somatic and nervous system, they are becoming buzzwords. And I do believe for a reason. I do believe our world needs this awareness now. And also, if the words safe or trauma don't feel good to us, we can say comfort. Like, is this does this feel comfortable for me? Is it serving me right now? If I'm not comfortable, what are what's my body's reaction? Are my shoulders lifted? Is my heart racing? Is my breath shallow? Okay, then I'm not comfortable right now. Like this is uncomfortable. Okay, how can I lower my shoulders? How can I access my breath? So when we get to that space of comfort, then the affirmations, then this reminder of Jacqueline, one thing at a time, one thing at a time. And then I'm learning that one thing at a time feels more comfortable in my body than the three things at once.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

It's wild that you said that one thing at a time, because about a week ago I was getting up in the morning and you know, my eyes open. I get up really early because I have a routine for myself that I do before the day because I because it feels good and because I know that my days just go better. So I was it it rotates depending on the day, depending on the cycle, depending on the season, uh, all sorts of things. But one thing is always consistent, and that's the meditation, the tapping into the compassion, um, the tapping into gratitude. But the thing that rotates is sometimes I go for a walk and sometimes I work out in my house. And so this particular day last week, I was going right when my eyes opened. Okay, but am I gonna work out or am I gonna walk? I don't know. What did I do yesterday? Should I do it? I don't know. What is my body feeling like? Are my legs sore? Is my butt and I was like, and I literally, it just came to me. It was like my higher self, an angel, God, all of it. One thing at a time. One thing at a time. And so I was like, oh, okay, one thing at a time. I don't have to decide right now. I actually haven't even got out of bed yet. Let me get out of bed, then do the thing, then rinse my face, then I'll put on my clothes, and then I'll see. I like then I don't need to sit here and think about it because it's just driving me crazy for lack of a better way to say it. You know?

SPEAKER_00 43:33

Yeah. Yes, it is crazy making. Yeah. I have to add this to that. I'm so glad you share that. So oftentimes I like to share with my husband, and then there have been moments where little Jacqueline was like, Wish you didn't tell him that because he's gonna remind you. He's gonna throw it in your face and like all the things. And I saw a post earlier this morning, like how our partners can be our teachers, right? So the other day he caught me. I was we were in the middle of one thing, and I'm starting to ask him about the next thing. He's like, Can we just do one thing at a time? The bad words wanted to come out of my mouth right now. Like, yes, thank you. Yep, yes, thank you. Gentle reminder. Gentle reminder. He actually delivered it gently yesterday, but not always.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

Not always, right? It depends on the day. And sometimes that's what we need. Sometimes we need a not so gentle reminder. Sometimes I need a not so gentle one, right? Correct. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

Well then, and now I'll throw back the compassion piece of this conversation because then I'll remind myself, okay, this is where he's at in his nervous system. Okay, I'm gonna have compassion for his nervous system right now and his little child inside of his body. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Okay, so everybody has to go follow Jacqueline on Instagram because I love your posts. And uh one of the reasons I love them a lot is because you bust these myths that we think in the holistic health industry are just like a one-size-fits-all go-to solution. The cold plunge, the hot sauna for an extended period of time, the rucking, the weighted vest, the da-da-da. And, you know, you name those are a few that you name. Uh, the breath work, the very intense group breath work. And I just want to talk about following your inner cues. That's how you phrased it on Instagram. Following your inner cues. What is really nourishing, what is really serving me in the moment. And it's not all the tips, tricks, hacks, uh, things that we're finding from these influencers on social media who are trying to sell us products, or even I went to a biohacking conference this weekend, which, you know, there was some wisdom to be gleaned there, and I picked out my gold nuggets. A lot of it from where I was standing was also very much like being sold a certain product, being pitched, a certain lifestyle, being um talked into, coerced, manipulated to, yes, I know to purchase, uh, buy, subscribe these products and services. So tell us your take on that and how do we avoid this trap of buying into all the bullshit, which is just mainstream marketing wrapped up in a little uh different outfit and the little with a little bow that we think is cute because it's different and it's oh, that holistic health. That should be good for me. Break it down for us.

SPEAKER_00 46:45

Do we have another hour?

SPEAKER_01 46:47

We'll have to have you back. Okay, please.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

Um I'm really excited that you shared this. I'm gonna acknowledge and name the parts of me that are showing up right now. There's a part of me that's really excited to share my opinion, my feelings, my thoughts, my understanding. And there's another part of me that is nervous and scared and anxious because of all other people's judgments and opinions of me. So I'm just gonna name that and feel better in my truth. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Thank you. Yes. Somewhere along the line of this world is the fear of aging and the fear of dying. We're all gonna die. And in order for that to happen, if we are lucky, if we are blessed enough to age, because sometimes that doesn't happen at an older age, um, it's inevitable. So, like with yoga philosophy and like the spiritual practices and all these deep esoteric like wisdom, like this is just this is a short temporary time. So I'm all about, and this is new for me, and I'm embodying this wisdom that I've also had resonated with a couple other women. I'm happy to share uh with them, uh, them later, to really embrace this life, the quality of it, right? Um, not so much the quantity. Like, I I don't want to, I mean, I have gray hair. And it's stunning and thank gorgeous here. I received that. I received that. Even just like a week or two ago, we were looking through old photos, and I'm like, and I looked at myself with dark hair, and I'm like, oh wow, did I start too soon? There was that part. So I'm I want I'm wanting to name that we all have that inside of us, not bad or wrong. So, but when I sit in my higher self, in my in my crone wisdom, I'm in perimenopause, like hardcore right now, and I'm like, even that, that is like another huge topic. Oh my God, we don't have an hour. Okay, I'm reeling it in. So when it comes to the inner cues, I will focus on my inner cues. The inner cues are that innate wisdom that within us says yes or no. The inner cues that says, and it's also neurosception uh coined by Dr. Stephen Porgis. It's it's back to the nervous system. What feels safe or comfortable, what doesn't. I'm always going to come back to that. Now, once we feel safe, we are confident, we have this embodied self-love, the hair goes gray, the wrinkles go free Botox, you know, the boobs, all the buttons, all the parts, because that's part of life. So cold plunges do work for some people, mostly men, not so much women. Also, now people are talking about higher temperature for women because we store fat or we, you know, we process uh challenges differently than men, as an example. You know, saunas, they are great for most of us, not all of us. Same thing with hot yoga. I had a whole post. I used to teach hot yoga. That ain't for the afaint of heart, but I don't even want to say that. I want to take that back or have you delete it because it's more for it's not, it's not for any. It's not, I said it. I said it. It's hardcore because we already are hardcore. We are already living in a dysregulated nervous system. And I love my friends and I love my students who say, Oh, but I love hot yoga. I'm so glad you love hot yoga. Can we break it down? What do you love about it? I love how much I sweat because I'm detoxing. Okay. And then you're gonna go drink more that night, and you probably didn't drink enough water. So guess what? You'll probably be sick in a week, just as an example, okay? Or I'm really I go in like super anxious and I feel much more calm afterwards. Guess what? All yoga can do that for you. You don't need the added heat, which is challenging your body and trying to the body to cool down, to regulate the temperature. We already live in South Florida, for those of us who live in South Florida, you know, and we are already sweating. So I want to wrap up the hot yoga piece because the weighted vests and that comment of the the post, somebody wrote back, like, you know, their belief, and I'm all for it. All I want to leave your listeners with is that not everything is for everyone, period. But also, not everything is for always, period. Okay. However, all of yoga, the system of yoga, the principles, the philosophy, the the ancient wisdom that is science. Now, modern neuroscience confirms what the ancient uh CDs knew thousands of years ago to say that it is within us, and it is within us to connect to source, God, creator, higher self. And to come back to that, we are getting just distracted by all this stuff. So all of the stuff that is promising us the fountain of youth, that is promising us longevity, that is promising us youthfulness, I'm not saying they are wrong, and I'm not saying that they are bad. I'm just saying that it might not be necessary or it might not be the right one for you. And to end that, as I calmed my nervous system down, I felt myself go really high. Now I'm like, okay, calm down a little bit. Here I am. Is that like, what do you want? Like, what do you want? Like, what do you really want? Do you really want to do what everybody else is doing? Do you really want to live until you're 120 years old? Who knows the state of the world in however many years that is for you? Just saying. You know, do you really want to look like you're 21, but like not really look like you're 21 when you're like in your 60s or 70s? So, like, what do you really want? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to feel good? You know what? So, guess what? Drink water, eat healthy, go on walks, go into nature. Things that don't cost you a lot of money are really, I feel, the simplest. And I'm only speaking to that, Ryan, at this time in my life because I've tried all the things. I still have a cabinet full, and shout out to all my sisters at home that feel this. I still have a cabinet of supplements. And, you know, from being labeled all these things that were wrong with me, I am finally coming home to my body and trusting, like I did all the tests, right? There's nothing Western medicine has said is actually wrong with me. And so I want to leave the listeners with that. Like, if you've done all the tests, and I won't go into like uh psychosomatic or you know, the label of hypochondriac, but like if you did all the tests and you really just want ease, because that's what I want. I want to, I want to feel at ease, I want to feel the peace, I want to feel free. Like that's been my goal, and that's what I'm holding space for in myself and in my world. And how do I get there? Is less less supplements, less to do, and then I just kind of fall into what feels good in the moment. Okay, I'll pop this vitamin C if I didn't, you know, have enough vitamin C through vegetables and fruits or you know, minerals. I know that I have lack of minerals right now, so I just started doing some, you know, trace minerals. But like there really is this wisdom that if if we could just quiet the noise, because we're so overstimulated, we are, and I learned this recently, and I'm not gonna say the numbers because I forgot the exact science, but there's an exact science research that states how much information we take in on a daily basis. Our eyes, our nose, our ears, our mouth, our skin touch the five senses. And so to bring back into yoga, pratahada, withdrawing of the senses, that is how we know what's needed and what's right for us, is when we eliminate all the distractions, right? And we just come back to self.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

Your presence, your energy, the work that you're doing in the world. Thank you. Thank you. You are, you know, a trailblazer in my eyes. You are a decade ahead of me as far as the in the inner work goes. And so I'm following that, you know, torch that you're holding up as I am doing for the others on the path behind me. And so I have tears in my eyes. Thank you so much. I appreciate you so deeply. And tell everybody where they can find you and follow you and work with you if it feels right for them.

SPEAKER_00 56:17

Thank you. So Jacqueline Burbage is my full name underscore yoga therapy. My website is also my first and last name, Jacqueline Burbage. I do local women's events in South Florida, Dalry Beach specifically. I will be uh launching an online membership program this summer. So please do be on the lookout on my Instagram or website for that. So if you are not in South Florida, you could also join me. And I lead international retreats. I have a few coming up, maybe one or two by the end of this year, but Bali next year. If you are ready to save your pennies, uh payment plans are available. It'll be a week in paradise, just across the pond and beyond. So you could also find that on my website. And yeah, I'm here on the social media and in South Florida. So I look forward to supporting you, serving you however I can. I do currently work with just women and uh anywhere in your life, any phase that you're at, if you liked what you heard, I'm here to support.

SPEAKER_01 57:19

Amazing. Now we're gonna wrap up with the three questions I ask everybody at the end of the interview. And the first one is what's bringing you joy today?

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Buddy love. Look at you, buddy love. My dog is sitting next to me, so he brings me joy.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

He's so cute. He's so cute. And then the next question I have for you is what are you reading right now, if anything?

SPEAKER_00 57:44

Yes, not one thing at a time. I I'm reading Americana. I um I don't want to botch her name, but I just started that a couple weeks ago. I'm reading Let Them by Mel Robbins, and I'm reading a book I pulled off my bookshelf from literally 30 years ago called Body Mind. And they're all fascinating. And if I don't read them every day, I'm reading one every other day. Just a couple pages.

SPEAKER_01 58:09

Yeah, I'm like that with uh with books too, as everybody here already knows. Uh and then the last question I have for you is who or what has taught you the most?

SPEAKER_00 58:19

I would like to honor all of my teachers, of course. Um, but I I humbly speaking, first and foremost has been my journey. Um, but yes, I learned from my parents, I learned from my younger sister. Uh currently I'm working with Jodi Dahmerstadt out of New Jersey, Become One Wholeness. She's amazing. She's my all-in-one right now. And um the teachers I had from Phoenix Rising School of Yoga Therapy, my mentors. But for right now, I'm just gonna stick with Jodi and myself and uh all the little crumbs that were left before me that I picked up along the way. Yeah, amazing. Thank you so much for being here. Yeah, thank you so much for having me.