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SNM233: The Power of Networking with Diane Helbig

• Jonathan Green : Bestselling Author, Tropical Island Entrepreneur, 7-Figure Blogger • Episode 233

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Welcome to the Serve No Master Podcast! This podcast is aimed at helping you find ways to create new revenue streams or make money online without dealing with an underpaid or underappreciated job. Our host is best-selling author, Jonathan Green.

Today's guest is Diane Helbig, a Business Advisor with Helbig Enterprises, a company that partners with businesses to create personalized strategies that result in business growth. Diane is an internationally recognized business and leadership development advisor, author, award-winning speaker, and workshop facilitator. She is also the host of the Accelerate Your Business Growth Podcast. 

In this episode, Diane expounds on crucial concepts about networking, with insights from her personal techniques, and practical advice on ways to successfully employ networking to grow a business.  

Notable Quotes

-       "I would rather that you let go of this whole idea of selling, and just be curious to lean into learning about people and making those connections" - [Diane Helbig]

-       "My definition of networking is building relationships with people who may or may not need what you have to sell" - [Diane Helbig]

-       "As we come with this sales mindset, we miss the big opportunities, cos the better opportunities are long term; the ones that take time to grow" - [Jonathan Green]

-       "Selling is a long-term strategy" - [Diane Helbig]

-       "In my opinion, we want to be careful about discounting people because they don't fit our prospect avatar because we don't know who they know and if they're a resource" - [Diane Helbig]

-       "Most men network toward selling and most women network toward relationship building" - [Diane Helbig]

-       "I want people to feel like if I give them my information, it's actually valuable and I want to form a connection" - [Jonathan Green]

-       "Be more interested in other people than you are in making other people interested in you, cos they're not interested" - [Diane Helbig]

-       "I don't think you should give a business card to anyone who doesn't ask for it" - [Diane Helbig]


Connect with Diane Helbig 

●      Diane’s Website: www.helbigenterprises.com 

Connect with Jonathan Green

Jonathan Green: Finding amazing clients in the power of networking. On today's episode of The Serve No Master podcast, today's episode is brought to you by name, cheap. There is no better option when it comes to buying your domain names. I've been a customer for more than a decade, and it's been a dream experience.

Secure your new business name today@servenomaster.com/namecheap. 

Announcer: Are you tired of dealing with your boss? Do you feel underpaid and underappreciated? If you want to make it online, fire your boss and start living your retirement dreams now. Then you've come to the right place. Welcome to Serve No Master Podcast, where you'll learn how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep.

Presented. Live from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best selling author Jonathan Green. Now, here's your host. Today we have an amazing guest. Diane is here and she's gonna talk to us about how you don't have to be afraid of getting your first client going out there and growing your business and how it can be an actually enjoyable part of the process.

Jonathan Green: I'm really excited to talk about that. Thank you so much for being here today, Diane. 

Diane Helbig: Oh, thank you so much for having me. So 

Jonathan Green: everyone says, a lot of people, the first thing they say is, I hate selling. I wanna build a business, but I don't wanna do selling. And after fear of public speaking, that's the most common thing people say to me is, I don't wanna do selling.

How can I sell stuff without doing selling? So what do you say to people who say that? 

Diane Helbig: So I say, good for you. Right on. Don't like selling, I'm all about that. I would rather that you let go of this whole idea of selling and just be curious, just lean into learning about people and making those connections.

So let's 

Jonathan Green: talk about that. Cuz a lot of people think of networking. When they hear networking, they put the word after marketing and then they say pyramid scheme. And they think of people who say, Hey, why don't you come to a party? And then it's surprise party where they're selling you stuff. And that's happened to me before.

And networking has almost become as bad of a word as sales because it almost feels like it's the same thing. And I've certainly been to those events where everyone's handing you business cards, but you're not actually meeting anyone. What's real network? 

Diane Helbig: Excuse me. My definition of networking is building relationships with people who may or may not need what you have to sell.

So it's all about relationship building. It's about being really Curious about who's in the room, cuz you don't know how they might show up in your world later. They could be good resources, they could be good referral partners. They could end up being clients, but there's so many options.

They could be a business friend, you just don't know who's there if you're so focused on making the selling connection. So my vote is, It's relationship building. Just go be curious how people learn about 'em. 

Jonathan Green: So in my experience of going to conferences and doing networking, I very rarely meet a client directly.

It's usually one or two degrees of separation from someone who I meet at an event. And it's usually the most unexpected. So when I go to a conference, I only go to one or two a year, maybe 10 deals will come. And one of them will actually happen. So there's all this excitement that builds up and I've learned, oh no, I need at least 10 things I'm really excited about for one of them to actually come to fruition.

How can people, I guess that's the thing is we come with this sales mindset, we miss the big opportunities cuz the better opportunities are the long term, the ones that take time to grow. 

Diane Helbig: Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Boy, that, that is such a great point. We really if we are in the moment and we are. Totally open to who we are meeting and getting to know them and learning about them and building that relationship over time.

It is amazing what we can accomplish and what we can gain from building those relationships. I think people have to realize that selling is a long term strategy, right? You have to be in it for the long term. You have to be willing to. Take the time, invest the energy in building relationships and remembering.

You can't sell anything to anybody. You can. People will buy from you when they trust you, when they feel comfortable with you and when they have a need. So timing has a lot to do with it, that's one of the things that you're experiencing, right? It's timing. It could be a year down the road. . 

Jonathan Green: Yeah, so I think of sales.

Everyone says if you're a good salesman you eat what you kill. And it's very haunt metaphor, I think of networking as farming. Like I plant seeds, I meet a lot of people, I plant a lot of connections, and then I wait, and things happen when they're meant to happen. It is sometimes in my experience, it is when it's the right moment or it's the right person or someone goes, oh, I know someone who needs something and then they refer me.

That's more the experience that I get more than I meet someone at a conference and swipe their credit card right there. It's very hard to catch someone who needs what you have and needs it right now. So let's talk about building trust. How do we build trust with new people and what's the right way to build a new relat?

Diane Helbig: these are such great questions. So cuz it is all about trust, which is part of the reason why you're not going to gain a sale the first time that you engage with someone. They have to really believe that you are, that you have the best solution for them and that you are the best resource, right? And the way that they do that.

By you being very interested in them and learning about them and not interested in what you need to get out of the relationship, right? We need to be totally open and giving, sharing, connecting. Part of the reason to network is so that you can build relationships with people who do things you don't do.

Or even do things you do, so that then when you're talking to people and connecting with them and they're talking about a need they have, you can introduce them to someone you've already vetted, you already trust, and so then this person trusts you because you were giving, you weren't thinking about what you could get from the situation you were totally giving to them.

So my vote is, Go to an event wanting to learn something about one or two people and know what it is you wanna learn. And the key is it's not in connection to what you sell. What do you wanna know about someone that has nothing to do with what you could help them with, and really listen and really engage and learn from them.

And then you have to follow up. You have to continue. If you feel resonance with someone, you have to continue. Relationship building process like dating, you have to continue to do it so you can continue to get to know them and they can continue to get to know you. 

Jonathan Green: There's a challenge there when you go to an event, especially cause you have a limited amount of time, you can only talk to so many people how, and you have to screen in and out the people you should talk to and the people who should.

And I certainly have my own process for screening, which is so important because at my first conference I spent way too much time talking to someone who. Weren't, wasn't in the business. Six months later I go, oh, big mistake. Learn from that lesson. But I see a lot of people who get, who can't get past that first phase, that first mistake of how do you screen who you should talk to?

And then there's the part oh, I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings, and you don't do any screening, or you do too much screening, and you come off as like the worst person in the world because you asked three questions and run away from everyone without getting to know anyone. What's the happy medium?

Diane Helbig: Boy. I think this may sound a little strange, but I think if you are just yourself and you just wanna enjoy yourself at the event, like I go to events believing no one needs what I have to sell, so I can just be myself in the moment. Curious about people. I'm always interested in what's going on with people.

My favorite thing is to say, so tell me your story. And then, because I'm in the moment, I'm picking up those cues and signal. So if there's someone who, it just really doesn't feel good, I, I can continue to talk to 'em for a couple minutes and then you just remove yourself. One of the easiest ways to remove yourself is to say, it was great meeting you.

I'm sure you're here to meet people. I don't wanna hold you up. I'm gonna, step off and give you the opportunity to continue your process. It's polite, it's giving it, it's not an any bad way of doing anything and. When we're really in the moment and we're very present, we can feel that there's a resonance or there isn't.

And then we just, politely, I see someone who I need to go connect with or, follow up with or there, there's a lot of different ways that you can do it. I, the one that I like the most is, To say to someone, I don't wanna hold you up. I'll probably see you around, wanna let you go and connect with the people you're looking to connect with.

Cause they're probably not looking to connect with you either. 

Jonathan Green: Yeah. Sometimes I'm talking to someone and I feel like they're looking for someone to save their business. There's this smell of desperation, like their business is one or two weeks away from going out of business. And even when I was a very beginner few months at my first business, I was like, I gotta get outta this convers.

Because it's the same thing as like, when you're in a relationship, everyone's interested, and when you're single, no one's interested.

Diane Helbig: See, it really is like dating, right? This is really how it is. It's and that's okay. But this is why, and God bless them. I, you can feel for them. You can empathize with them, but you can't save their business. You can't solve all of their problem. So you can be really genuine and say, it depends on what they're saying to you, but you can say to them, sounds like you've got a lot going on in your business, wishing you the best.

If I hear of anyone who I think might need what you have to offer, I'll certainly keep it in mind. There's ways of saying it so that you're not guaranteeing anything, you're not promising anything, you're not leading them on. But you are being polite and respectful and professional about the conversation.

Jonathan Green: What are the signs you look for that tell you, oh, I wanna keep talking to this person down the line. I wanna actually swap contact information. I'm actually gonna follow up with them. What are the signs for you? 

Diane Helbig: Yeah, I think the signs for me are that I really enjoy talking with them. We're laughing, we're connecting on.

Certain beliefs, I was just in an event last week and started talking to a woman I had never really talked to before, and the two of us instantly hit it off. We, we were having this conversation about something and we were almost saying the exact same thing. So there was this feeling of, wow, we get each other right.

I would like to learn more about this person and what they do, because. It's the relationship feels connective. It feels regardless of anything else, I would enjoy seeing this person again in an event. If I ran into them at an event, I would wanna sit with them and catch up and that sort of thing.

For me, those are the markers, the triggers. And if I don't have that, if it's a difficult conversation and I can't really. Get that. It just feels like it's a lot of work then I know it's not someone who I'm gonna be able to really, build a decent business relationship with. Yeah.

Jonathan Green: Sometimes I meet someone, I'm like, oh, this could be really good for my business, but also I really don't wanna spend any time with them. And you're caught in that flux because we all have those like red flags. Like for me, if someone talks about how good they are or how rich they are, too much.

And sometimes you have people who mention their. Every couple of sentences or some, whatever their big thing is, they keep bringing it up. I don't really like to be around that. And yet you're sometimes stuck there. Yeah. So what are the signs that like, make you just go, I gotta get outta here.

Diane Helbig: Yeah, so one of 'em is when they, and this is one that is really a big sign when they. continuously try to convince me that I need what they are selling. So when someone's in sales mode, I have absolutely no interest when they won't let it go. And when they do all the talking, So when they don't ask me about me, I, what I prefer to do is turn it back and then ask them about them.

And then I'm okay. But if I say tell me your story. I don't wanna know about what you sell. I wanna know about you. But if they walk up and they hand me their business card and they start in on their pitch and they start talking and they don't take a breath and I can't get away from them, that is an immediate, I do not wanna have this person in my universe because it's going to be exhaust.

Jonathan Green: Yeah, I like when someone lets me know really early in the conversation, I don't wanna be friends with them. If I could find out in the first three minutes, I'm so grateful. I'm like, oh God, I could have spent two hours before I realized I don't wanna be friends with you. Cause sometimes that happens, like you start talking to someone before you figure it out.

Like for me, especially I don't really like to meet people that are employees, even if someone's the number two in a business, because it's not the same feeling when you're the boss. You're on the T trapeze. There's no net. If I make a mistake, my employees could lose their jobs. My kids don't eat.

We don't pay the rent. I can't pay for the school bills. That's pressures on me. And that's this feeling that people who are like even a number two at a big company doesn't get because they get paid. Whether things go well or bad, there is something different about the entrepreneur or the person who founded their company rather than, even though CEOs chasing gold, the parachute, they don't have that same feeling cuz they came into something already working.

Yeah. But there is this thing that I look for, I'm like, you don't know how I feel. And like when they're trying to, I'm like, you're trying to sell me something. What? I always, what blew my mind when I really started teaching networking, I saw these companies pay huge amounts of money. They bring in a networking team and I'm like, everyone who's teaching networking is an employee.

They're literal. Not good at networking. That's why they have the job. And that's one of the things that always, it's the same thing like when someone has certified coaches. I'm like, I wanna learn from the boss how to grow my business. Not someone who isn't able to grow a business and thus is an employee.

So that's one of my big things, is I wanna know someone, and I don't care if someone has a really small business, it doesn't matter to me the size of their business because at least they understand how, I feel like at least they're, they've been in the arena like we. 

Diane Helbig: Yeah. I think some of that too really speaks to where you network, right?

Like I know here where I am, we have like women's networking organizations. Some of them are just women in business. So you get the employees, you get everybody, and then there's organizations that are women owners and there is a big difference. in the energy and the conversation, depending on which one of those you are in.

So depending on the relationships that you wanna build and who you work with and who might have resources that are valuable to your connection base and your clients, I think that helps, determine Where you go, where you network. The one thing I will say is we, in my opinion, we wanna be careful about discounting people because they don't fit our prospect avatar because we don't know who they know.

And if they are a resource, if they're really good at what they do, regardless of whether they're an employee or not, and their company is really good at what it. We potentially wanna build that relationship and find that out and build that level of trust and credibility because then we can offer them to our connections, which just enhances our trust level and our value to our, our universe.

Jonathan Green: That's interesting. Do you think there's a difference in networking at Lady only events versus events where there's men there or networking? Do men network different than. Oh yeah. 

Diane Helbig: Yeah. I think so. I think most men network toward selling, and I think most women network toward relationship building. And it's not because women get that's, what I believe is the better road.

It's because it's what's more comfort. It just happens to be in the better road, but for women it's more comfortable. I think most women are not that hunter 

Jonathan Green: mentality. Cause I think about when I wanted to learn about networking, I used to go to local meetup events in Nashville where I was at the time.

And I would go to events where I didn't wanna do business, anyone, cuz I wanted to be around other people where I didn't need anything. And I mostly learned how to not network. I would just make a list of the things people did that I didn't like. And I was like, oh, okay, these are things I won't do. That's great and that you can learn so much more.

Like the things I learned, I remember some people would go get early and they would put a business card on every single table, and I'm like okay, I'm never gonna do that because then, it's not valuable. So I noticed, I was like, oh, everyone gives a, and the same thing when someone go, Hey, and they give their business card before they meet me.

And I'm like but how do you, it doesn't, I know there's no, they don't treat the business card with value. So one of the first tricks I did, and I can't believe this worked, I would not do this now, but I was 30 and like wild. I used to have a business card that just had my phone number on and nothing else.

And I saw that on the XFiles, like I didn't learn a networking thing. I remember the guy in the X Files, like the, remember the Spy. So I would give up Vigar. They'd go your name's not in here. I go, if you don't remember my name, don't call me. And people were like, wow, he's so confident. And I was just being a character TV show, but I was like, I don't.

I want my you to be, feel like my number's really valuable and also it's way cheaper if you only get like nine numbers on a card than if you get a whole thing filled out. Save me a lot of money, but Sure. And so I wouldn't keep 'em out very much because you have to build up to the point where people will take a business card only then they gotta write my name on it manually if they really wanna call me and.

I didn't really know what I was doing, but I was like, I don't like, cuz some people give their business card, it has a QR code, it has six email addresses, their phone number, their fax number, their personal cell phone. It's too much information. And again, it makes me think this isn't valuable because you're giving everything, if you're giving everyone every information, and I'm not gonna LinkedIn you and Facebook, you and Instagram.

I know certain people have, I have one friend, this is the only reason I use Instagram. He only does Instagram dms. It's his main way of communication. And okay, I've gotta use Instagram. Another friend who only uses Facebook dms, but they, neither of them uses LinkedIn dms like they have. Everyone has their one main method of communication, and that's really what you wanna get.

So there's this. The thing I learned was like, oh, I want people to feel like if I give 'em my information, it's actually valuable and I wanna form a connection because I have a lot of memory issues. I find it, I know some people, they go to the main memory record, they can remember everyone's name. I can't.

I find it really hard. All after an event have 50. I'll look at the business cards. Like I don't remember who you are. I don't remember who you are. I don't remember. You are. I really struggle with. Unless someone puts their fa, if someone puts their picture on their business card. I do think that's smart.

That really helps me a lot. I'm like, your picture and your phone number. Great, cuz then I'll remember who you are. But it is very challenging to be remembered that. I think that's the hardest part. Like how can we be memorable? Cause I remember I heard a comedian say something recently, he goes, oh, someone walked up.

He goes, do you remember meeting me? And he goes, I don't. You need to be more memorable. It's not my memory's fault, it's your job to be more memorable. And I thought that was really funny also. Really interesting ideas. How can we be more memorable? 

Diane Helbig: I we have to stop doing what everyone else is doing, number one, right?

Because, and I see, I go back to, Dale Carnegie. Be more interested in other people than you are in making other people interested in you. Cause they're not interested. Like what I say is the minute you start talking, they stop listening cuz they don't care. There has, they don't care until they feel like you care about them.

Like you've paid attention to them, then they care about getting to know you or they might not, which is also a trigger. If they never care about. walk away. It's dating. My thing is, I don't think you should give a business card to anyone who doesn't ask for it. This is what I say to people.

You can give, you can ask them for theirs, but do not give yours to them until they ask for it. Because they don't ask for it. They don't want it. So that's about you, not them. Like we do these things as sales people because it's about. No one cares. They just, they don't, we have to get over it.

Jonathan Green: I sometimes wonder if it's because when you order business cards, they come in such a large box of 500 and you're like, I've gotta burn through these. It's so many to give away. I've never given away an entire box. I've been doing this for 20 years. I just can't, I end up changing my phone number long before I give away all the business cards.

I know, right? So I think maybe it's the Business Card printer's fault, but this has been really amazing. Oh, so I really love what you've had to say. I think this could be really helpful for people who afraid of networking. I think when you approach people and you want something, that's what makes it hard.

But if you just go, oh, I just wanna meet people, it removes the, at least for me, it removes the stress. So I think that's really powerful. Where can people find out more about what you do and more about your approach to networking and hear more of what you have to say? 

Diane Helbig: Thank you so much for that and I've really enjoyed this conversation.

The best thing to do is go to my website, he big enterprises.com cuz everything's there and every connection's there and they can pick and. 

Jonathan Green: That's perfect. I'll make sure to put the link below the video on YouTube and in the show notes. Thank you so much for giving us your time, Dan. I really had a good time.

Diane Helbig: Me too. Thank you. 

Jonathan Green: I hope you love today's episode. I appreciate you listening. When I started my online business, I thought I could go completely alone. Turns out connections is the name of the game, and the faster you build contacts, the faster your income grows. Let me accelerate your success and help you earn that networking black belt absolutely free@servemaster.com slash black Belt.

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