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how to make friends and network with people. The power of connection could turn your business from a one man operation into a multibillion dollar industry. Today's episode is brought to you by Social pilot. Automate all of your social media presence from a single, easy to use dashboard to find out how much time you can save with a simple tool. Head to serve. No master dot com Backslash Social Pilot Are you tired of dealing with your boss? Do you feel underpaid and underappreciated? If you want to make it online, fire your boss and start living your retirement dreams. Now thin, you've come to the right place. Welcome to serve no master podcast where you learn how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep. Presented live from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best selling author Jonathan Green. Now here's your host. When I first left my job, I were fired from my job, really and start work of myself. I never wanted to be fired again. I never wanted to have that vulnerability, and what I thought that meant was I could work for myself work in my basement work build a business online and never have to talk to another person to get, never have to deal with another person again in a business sense, so I'd never be vulnerable. But the reality is working online actually means interacting with people, partnering with people, forming connections, forming a filial Egypt's Javy relationship partnerships far more and with far more handshake level trust than we do in other environments but actually is much more dependent upon the relationships we form and you're building a network is a massive part of that. Now I talk about networking extensively in my book. I have an entire course on networking, and I want to share with you a lot of the key steps about networking so you can start to develop the skill right now. And NETWORKINGS really built upon being a good friend, a kind of understanding friendship dynamics. So the more you understand how to be friends, the more you understand the elements of a good friendship, loyalty, trustworthiness, empathy, the easier it will be for you to transition to great networking. But I really want to just kind of cover the nitty gritty with you right now and kind of focus on the key parts that can help you get promotions at work, help you for business relationships and help you find mentors and partners to surround yourself with. So you can achieve very quick success building your own business. Networking is really built upon favors. So once you master French once you kind of understand friendship, the next level's understanding, how favors work and most people we think of favors as almost like a scoreboard. You do someone a favor, you know, a small medium or big favorite go OK, they owe me a favor of equal or greater size, and we keep track of everyone we've done a favour for, and eventually we start calling those favors and say, Hey, you owe me a favor. I did this for you and you could only have a small social circle because if you know too many people who do too many favors, you can't keep track of everything and eventually have to start writing all your favors in a book like a book, you keeping track of all the bets you've taken, and it could become a major part of your life and overwhelming part of your life. That's very distracting, and you start to forget. If someone owes you a favor and all these things and you get more stressed out about, it becomes really intense. And I've seen people on both sides of a favour with this mindset, and it really damages their ability to form relationships and especially form networking and financial relationships. I've done a favor for someone who has this scoreboard mentality that's tracking this. Keep track of your favors mentality, and they owe me a favor. Now that's how they see it. They think. Okay, Oh, Jonathan A favor and the favors. Big guy doing something big. Help him get a job helping kind of find a big project or form of a partnership. And they feel like they can never pay back a favor that big and the guilt starts to eat them. And so they terminate their relationship with me. They end our relationship because the person did them a big favor. I see this all the time, not just for people who've done famously, but I see in other situations. It's very common, Okay, so whether you're giving out favors or receiving a big favor, if you have this mindset it can really hurt your relationships. Because if your mindset is, I'm tracking favors and you think the other person is as well until they do big, fairly calm a Iot. This guy big favor. I got to think of something. I can't think of anything. I feel like I'm in debt. It feels like a form of indentured servitude. Or that the person is always gonna hold this debt over you, and you have to pay him back like you old bookie money. And that's what it feels like when you create this mindset. So whether whatever side of it you're on, if you think of them as a finance research, think of favors as a limited resource, you could run out of favors and you have to pay back favours, equal value after track, all the favors you d'oh! And you treat it like a currency. You're always gonna struggle. And it's the wrong mindset. I read this amazing book, never eat alone and taught me a decade ago. I read so long ago so good is one of the best things that ever learned was something I was already starting to practice, but it really helped kind of crystallize the language of it that favor Zahra muscle. So the more favors you, the better you get at it. I do favors for people all the time. Just last week, one of my friends said, Hey, ah, project fell through and I need to make I need to make, like, $3000 in the next week or to pay my mortgage. Do you know anyone who's looking for something I can work on its lower than my normal rate, But I just need some work on a project. I said, no problem letting message everyone I know and I did it and actually found him a couple of opportunities. I don't know. Ah, what they paid out. I said, I'll do some introductions. People that are looking for work. But I don't want to be in the middle of someone's negotiations for work or a project, and I don't expect anything return. I'm not expecting him to do anything for me. This is someone actually sent me work a year ago, okay, with no expectation that I would return the favor. It just happened to be when there's an opportunity. I merely jumped on, and I only remembered actually, after I started messaging people that he'd actually sent some work my way a year ago. So the favorite did come back, but it wasn't intentional, wasn't based on tracking. When you get to that mindset of doing as many favors as you can, the way you want to track is think about how many favors you put into the universe is a total and how many are coming back to you. So instead of thinking, I've done 12 person, 132 person to Ford a person three instead, you think? Okay, I've done seven favors. I've done six years of the always favors in the universe, and they're really like seeds. The more favors you put out into the universe, the more amazing things and more favors will come back into your life. The more opportunities for Wells, and that's where the real value comes from. So I never track how many favors have done for individual people. And you have you thinking, Hey, this turns you into a soccer. People get you tons of favors for them. Yeah, I don't notice. Compared to how I used to be, it takes me a lot longer to notice if I do favors for someone and they don't do anything back. But I do notice if I asked someone to do a small favor for me and they act weird, some people will ask me to do you know, $20,000 with the favors for them? And then I asked them If Hey, can you pick me over the airport? And they say No, right. It's like a favor. That's 20 minutes of the life for me. If I asked you to pick me up at the airport, it's There's a reason I'm asking for If you say no, it definitely to me is a sign. Hey, I shouldn't do favorites was person anymore because they won't do something small for me, So I do notice eventually. But at the same time, I'm not as emotionally invested in someone doing favors back for me. So when someone is kind of trying to take advantage or whatever, it has that mindset, I notice eventually and then I just kind of out of my life. But it doesn't affect me emotionally. I don't think about it ever again. That's the beauty of this mind, setting all the favors it did for that person. Our favors I put into the universe. Other people pay them back to me and sometimes favors Come back, monster. Even years later, like Jim talk on his interview, he did a favor for someone, and it came back like, five or six years later. And it's the reason he's making millions of dollars. One of the main reasons is these little positive things you put out in the world, and I do this all the time. So if you can transition your mindset in thinking, Hey, I'm gonna do favors for people all the time without an expectation that's very valuable. The key part really is removing that expectation and not thinking about that way. One of the first things I used to teach when I was teaching people about dating you know, I've written books for men and women about dating my most is this. A book about dating is for women. That's probably the biggest thing I've ever written. And one of the things that I I teach many women dating over and over again is that in our culture we don't understand what a compliment, really. ISS see. A compliment is where I say something nice to you without an expectation of anything return. Unfortunately, people, especially the dating environment, like a guy walk up to him and say, Wow, I really like your dress or you're so beautiful. And then I'll stand there waiting for her to say something back just to say thank you or just say, Oh, I like this about you, right? We're expecting a forward parody. That's not a compliment. A real comment is when you say, Wow, that dress looks amazing and then you walk away so you're not expecting anything in return. If you expect someone to say thank you, expect someone to do something, you're giving them an obligation. It's the same thing with birthday presents when you give someone a present for a birthday or Christmas, and they don't do what you wanted them to do with it. And you're unhappy by the way they act like if you give someone a car and then they sell the car because they needed the money to make rent or something like that and you know, Hey, I gave you a car and you didn't use it the way I wanted you to do you're saying? Hey, I didn't give you a present. I gave you something with rules or strings attached. I wanted you to follow those rules. So you need to remove that thinking from your life. As far as your gift giving, you're complimenting and you're favoring a time. We do things for other people. The more we can move our expectation, the more successful will be when I do favors for people, I don't think about the return on investment. It's too overwhelming. My network is way too large, so I don't have time for that. I don't have that mindset. And I can tell you right now some favors in my life. They come back years later. My relationship with Jim is almost 10 years, and he never does interviews. I couldn't believe he actually said Yes, he would do an episode. My podcast. You know how unbelievably rare that is? Even connect with them. Okay, Something unbelievable, because we exchanged favors almost a decade ago. So sometimes the things you do take a very long time to come back. And what will happen is you might plant a seed tomorrow. And if you keep track of your favors you'll get upset, and in six months you'll tell the person had did something for six months. We've never returned the favor, you know, poison that relationship. But you have the muscle minds that, and you have the karma minds out of hand, putting favorite of the world. Eventually pay back. In 10 years, that favor might come back and make you a millionaire. So sometimes it takes a really long time for a favor to come back. But the favors that take the longest to come back are worth the most financially. They're the most amazing ones. So now to take this idea of friendship built on top of that, our concept of favours favours are muscle. We don't expect anything return. We put his mate favorite where we can't we want to move into the idea of networking. Networking is really about forming relationships where people want to work with you. Most people work with me because they like me. The fact that I'm very good at what I do and execute and very fast is great. Okay, all of those things were wonderful, but I have worked with people that are very good at their jobs, but they're personalize their very abrasive or I don't like them and you don't want to do it. It's not worth it. I don't work with anyone I don't like. I've done it a couple of times. People, they're really good at what they do and their personalities were terrible, and I realize it's not worth it to me, even if I make a ton of money. I hate the entire experience, so that's how people that are really Cecil get. Nobody works with people they don't like anymore. You only work with you we don't like when you're trapped in a job. When you're kind of on that track and you're not the boss. When you're working for yourself, you get to choose who you work with and I learned this experience more. Maura's. I started taking on clients when I was working in the S e o game working in local marketing game and now that I only do private clients are you know, I have a very small book of clients that I write books for Duke operating for kind of do those projects for and the people I partner with, I have a very small less than 10 people that I will take projects from, because the people that I like working with, I don't work with people that pressure meteor that make me feel bad or that kind of mess around with deal. There's always things that I look for in people I partner with. When you get successful, you don't want to work. People don't like. Therefore, when you're trying to build yourself up, you have to be someone that people like. The first step is to put as many favors in the world as you can and kind of develop your favorite giving skill. The next step beyond that is to become someone memorable. The way I got really successful is I would go to different marking conferences, and I just interact with everyone and kind of put as many favors out there as I could, and depending upon when you are, there's different things that you could do. You know, if you have a little bit of money, maybe go out with everyone and you pay for like, five or 10 people's dinners. Okay, maybe you buy someone a drink, depending on your situation. Okay, If you can't afford those things, you don't have to do it, but giving value in different ways. First thinking, Hey, I'm gonna do a favor for someone. I'm gonna do something valuable for them. And there's different ways you can do that, depending upon how much further up the tree. Then you someone is, For example, I mentioned a few times how valuable reviews are. Thio People in my industry and people in our industry, no matter what you're doing online reviews testimonials. They're very, very valuable. So even if a small local business right you running the local pizzeria when someone leaves a five star yelp review it matters. It really helps your business because people look at those things. Bad reviews can put a stride of business. It really makes a difference. So if you want to connect with someone first step. Easiest thing to D'oh is review is by one of their products and leave him a really glowing review. One of things you could do. An Amazon. This is so powerful, I tell you right now, if you actually do this for one of my books, I'll go nuts. It's so smart and so tactical. This stuff works on me. This is what I do to other people. This is why I was talking to a guy today. I was literally talking to a guy today that I'm about to do a huge project with its very successful in area that I want to move into one of the areas I'm trying to expand into. We met through a friend of a friend that I did a favor for years and years ago. It was really cool the way networking pays off long term. Okay, SATs administration. And he was had love to work with any names, like seven right, really successful people in inner marking business in the teaching, how to make money, online, sector people that you have millions of customers. And I said, I know most of those guys, so I know people of the highest excellence, and it's all because of how a network and the thing that worked I used to meet those guys is exactly the things that work on me and work on my contemporaries. Video review is worth about 50 regular reviews. An Amazon actually lets you record a video and uploaded as part of your views for products of names on all the time If you leave me a five star review on Amazon in my book, I really appreciate gonna love it. That's amazing. It's very viable to me if you leave a video review and it's got a picture of you when you're holding the book and you talk about what you loved about the book, well, then a couple of things happen. Number one. Amazon rates those reviews much higher Number two. That review is gonna catch my attention more because video reviews stand the book page for much longer. You know, you see some books on Amazon. They have, like 5 10 12,000 views of huge numbers of use. But the video of you is always get pushed to the top. I don't know what kind of numbers overviews will have. I'm sure I'll have hundreds, but who knows? You know you can't predict the future. You can't always tell what's gonna happen. But I can tell you that when you do a video review, there's very few numbers of, so I'm going to see it for sure. There's no chance of it slipping through the cracks like if I get 20 reason one day, maybe always see 19 of skimming through. I might miss one. Even though I try and track and kind of see what everyone's saying. It seen ways I can adjust my books and improve the quality of what I'm creating A look at those things. But a video review is going to get my attention. And also, when you do one of your face, well, then I know what you look like. So if you walked up to me Hey, I did the review on Amazon. That was a five year. Oh, my gosh. I recognized That was amazing. I'm gonna give you a lot of time, okay? This is not me being tactical. I'm not telling you. Go out and do that unless you feel inspired to that. I'm saying if you do this for anyone else, you there's tons of other guys out there that have books and podcasts and things. You could do the same thing to them. And it will really, really work when you go to a conference where the person speaking and you walk up and go. Hey, I'm the one that did the video review that's got, like, 700 likes under your books. They're gonna go Wow, that was awesome. I don't teach that very often. This is something that I've kind of I just wanted to share today. So it's really powerful ing to you right now is one was powerful things you can do and it costs nothing. It only cost three minutes of your time. You can record it on your webcam. The person knows your face so they recognize you. And also your tying yourself to someone's brand but works on me. It works on anyone else. It's very effective. But you can also do is walk up to me and say, Hey, I bought one of your other products. You know, I have my main book, which is I love having people be that And of course, I have some more extensive products teaching exactly how I do my nonfiction writing kind Take you step by step of my research process. Have a much larger course explaining my entire process for creating bestsellers on Amazon, everything out creating amazing books, but covers all my whole process. I do have some extensive courses covering that stuff. A lot of this material, those courses I'm gonna share with you throughout these podcasts, but if you walked up and said, Hey, I went to your nonfiction writing course It was amazing. I would love to shoot a video with you right now. Talking about how your how you help me write and finish my first novel. He walked up to me in a conference and I rarely go to conferences. I'm in negotiations with one. My publisher's right now. They want me to go to three or four year they want. They want to spend three or four weekends a year going to conferences, five star hotels, all the jazz and I like don't want to do it. I love where I live. I live on my Paradise Island. I live on my dream Island, and I don't like to leave very often, but I will be going to a conference here and there, so we'll probably talk me to go into two or three year. I think with that's how this negotiation will play out. I'm already pretty sure that I'm gonna go to a conference in November, December and probably goto one next January February in America. So there are a couple of conferences that'll probably yet, and if you walk up to me and say, Hey, I bought this product and here's what it did for me Can I shoot? A video review will be really cool. We're standing extra hands. Johnson is a real person who went through one of my courses. And here's what happened. I'd love to hear that story. And again this works on other people at this is how I meet amazing people. When you walk up to someone amazing go Hey, I want to shoot a video testimonial for you. I want to give you some really big value right now. That's awesome. That's the way to open it up. Because most of the time when people approach me or they approach other people, now all I know how to approach really successful people. Okay, I don't have a walk up to a 1,000,000,000 start a conversation. I've done it many times and I'll be talking that person and then I watch people walk up wrong and most people walk up and either ask a question like, Hey, I have a really big business question. Hey, can you do this for me? Hey, canoes. Every Hey, I have a great idea. Interesting here. My dear. They're trying to get their trying take, take, take, and it's exhausting. So instead, be the difference. Be the person who gives first and you'll be remembered. It doesn't take a lot of give to start a relationship. You could walk upto most guys and offer to buy them a drink, and they'll give you 10 or 15 minutes of their time because men very rarely received drinks. Okay, you could walk up to someone and say, Hey, I'm a really big fan. Can I pay for your dinner? I'd love to talk to you for 10 minutes if you have time. If not, I just want to say that you're awesome. I want to pay for your dinner anyways. These little things. Okay, that costs. What is that gonna cost you? $30 dollars? Maybe 100. It's a really nice restaurant, a huge amount of value. Okay. Especially if you do it from a place of kindness. Not from expectation, but from just wanted to give that you first being nice to someone first that you're a fan over their products helped you? Or that you enjoyed their teaching. That means a lot. People really appreciate when you make them feel nice. So these little things that you can d'oh! That's why I talked about the favor minds. At first you realize that you're giving without expectation. So I do favors for people all the time. I introduce people to each other all the time. So once you've got to this first phase where you started meeting a lot of people and use some of these tactics to get into the circles that have the people that know what you want to know and have the knowledge, why don't you start giving value? You'll start to know these people. And then you just introduced them to each other. I do that all the time. I introduced to people from two different businesses all the time. I say this person does A This person is be You guys should meet And then I walk away because of introduced them and they make some money together. They learned something. Sure, they form relationship. That's a valuable thing. That's the next level so you can just start off making a lot of contacts and then just introducing people each other all day long. Introductions are so valuable, most of my business comes for introductions. Most of the clients that I work with, the people that someone else introduced me to, someone says, They go, Hey, we're looking for an amazing round because oh, should talk to Jonathan, his best writer. We know little stuff like that is very valuable. That's how business comes my way. It's how my relationships form. It's how almost all my partnerships came about. It's from an introduction. This is the beginning of the idea of networking. Just focus on the value being an amazing friend, then focus on really learning how to do favors without expectation. Turn favors into a muscle, not something you stress out about and then used these simple tactics to meet the people you want to meet and remember, you really have the tools to be very successful. Now, if you want to get a promotion at work, hang out with everyone you work with and give a lot of value and then hang out with your boss and your boss's boss goes and give a lot of value to everyone there. And when your boss shows up, give a lot of value to him that's separate from work. Very simple tactic and very effective. This is the beginning of how to get very successful the networking. So I just want to kind of give you some ideas that you can implement in the short term. And if you want to practice, go to like a rotary meeting or chamber of commerce, you might have to be members for some of those things. You can go to these meetup dot com ng have all these meet ups where people are desperate to meet new people, and you can just practice starting new conversations and doing favors for people to see how things work out. I love practicing in situations where it doesn't matter, So I was gonna meet us for things I don't care about or things that don't matter. I used to go to all these small business or new entre party meet ups where I used to live, and she will always have businesses that have never won interact with. You know, they were just starting out there really struggling every month to make their bills, and so they would always want to talk to her. But that would be throwing business cards at each other like crazy and What's great about that is you're surrounded by people who you don't want anything from, so there's no temptation to demand a favor back and you just give us much values you can't. I used to give tons of free advice about how to build our websites ahead again, where traffic and how to find customers for their businesses. And I would never try to sell that. My service is good. Didn't need to. I was doing fine, and that gave me the chance to really practice doing favors where I actually didn't anything return from people. That's why it's great to go to a situation where people have nothing you need because you could really practice doing favors and knowing they'll never do anything back for you. No, it's okay. I hope you're really excited about implementing some of the things we've talked about today. If you go out and really tighten up your favor skills and really work on giving value, you could form relationships, alliances, partnerships to find mentors that have amazing value that could bring into your life all through a little simple networking to celebrate the launch of the serve. No master podcast. I'm giving away some app. Big prizes. You could win an Amazon tap and have me personally turn you into a best selling author toe win. You're part of over $20,000 in prizes. Go to serve. No master dot com backslash contest Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Serve No Master. Make sure you subscribe, so you never miss another episode. We'll be back tomorrow with more tips and tactics on how to escape that rat race. Head over to serve no master dot com forward slash podcasts Now for your chance to win a free copy of Jonathan's best seller, Serve No master. All you have to do is leave a five star review of this podcast. See you tomorrow.