Serve No Master : Escape the 9-5, Fire Your Boss, Achieve Financial Freedom

SNM163: Are Your Friends Holding You Back?

March 26, 2020 Jonathan Green : Bestselling Author, Tropical Island Entrepreneur, 7-Figure Blogger Season 1 Episode 163
Serve No Master : Escape the 9-5, Fire Your Boss, Achieve Financial Freedom
SNM163: Are Your Friends Holding You Back?
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Serve No Master : Escape the 9-5, Fire Your Boss, Achieve Financial Freedom
SNM163: Are Your Friends Holding You Back?
Mar 26, 2020 Season 1 Episode 163
Jonathan Green : Bestselling Author, Tropical Island Entrepreneur, 7-Figure Blogger

The people we spent the most time with, people we put the most energy in, they put their energy back in us. If you dedicate your time to wrong people, to people who hold you back, don't support you in any way and don't push you to be successful you will never achieve your goals or reach your full potential.

We end up in balance with the people we spend the most time with. If you hand out with people who have no ambition to improve their jobs or income, you will end up not taking action to improve your own life and future.

To be successful it's important to surround yourself with success. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to risk and take action in order to improve your life. If you only see success around you, it will motivate you to become the best version of yourself to catch up with the rest.

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 The post SNM163: Are Your Friends Holding You Back? appeared first on Serve No Master: Be Your Own Boss - Live Free.

Show Notes Transcript

The people we spent the most time with, people we put the most energy in, they put their energy back in us. If you dedicate your time to wrong people, to people who hold you back, don't support you in any way and don't push you to be successful you will never achieve your goals or reach your full potential.

We end up in balance with the people we spend the most time with. If you hand out with people who have no ambition to improve their jobs or income, you will end up not taking action to improve your own life and future.

To be successful it's important to surround yourself with success. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to risk and take action in order to improve your life. If you only see success around you, it will motivate you to become the best version of yourself to catch up with the rest.

▶️▶️▶️▶️
 
Resources mentioned:


Leave some feedback. We would love to hear from you!
 
Connect with Jonathan Green and Serve No Master:

 
 The post SNM163: Are Your Friends Holding You Back? appeared first on Serve No Master: Be Your Own Boss - Live Free.

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are your friends holding you back? Find out on today's episode. Today's episode is brought to you by ECM. Rush started in 2008 with one mission to make online competition fair and transparent, with equal opportunities for all. To find out how SCM Rush can help you compete with the big boys. Go to serve no master dot com Backslash ECM rush today. Are you tired of dealing with your boss? Do you feel underpaid and underappreciated? If you want to make it online, fire your boss and start living your retirement dreams now then you've come to the right place. Welcome to serve no master podcast where you learn how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep. Presented live from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best selling author Jonathan Green. Now here's your host theme. We spend the most time with people. We put the most energy and they put their energy back into us. That certain point to my life. Like many people, I hung around with the wrong crowd. If you hang out people that get into bar fights all the time, don't be surprising into bar fights all the time. Our world really seeks equilibrium and through the power of osmosis, we end up in balance with the people we spend the most time with. If you have five friends who all make between 30 and $40,000 a year, that's what you'll end up making were drawn to seek equilibrium. We don't want to make two and three times with our friends make because it becomes uncomfortable, it can affect the friendship. It's unnatural to be friends with someone who makes 10 or 20 times more money than you. You'll always feel an imbalance within the relationship, and both of you will feel it. You're trying to create some new things in your life. Grow your business, build the new business, open up new income streams, thes air. Big changes. When you're an entrepreneur, you're not trying to increase your income 3% every year. Like most people, you're trying to double and triple every couple of months, making $1000 a month. You wanna make $10,000 a month in six months and you wanna make $100,000 a month and then a $1,000,000 a month, and maybe then you can calm down a little bit. We're on a very steep trajectories that are different from many people. The people you spend the most time with will always average out to take a moment to look at your friends and see if they're holding you back and whether it's intentional, unintentional. The simplest example of this is priorities. If you're in college or high school and you're really focused on getting the grades and you have a bunch of friends who are party friends every time you're studying will say Don't do that, Come party, Come out, man. Don't be that guy. Don't be the guy that uses school over friendship and they'll pressure you If your friends instead with five people who study more than you, they'll encourage you to study more than form for study groups with you. They'll talk about the test they're studying for and will be more natural for you to study more. They'll pressure you to study rather than pressure to not study because your goals are in alignment with each other. This is one of the reasons that nerds, hangout, nerds, jocks, hangout jocks and burnouts, hangout burnouts and art people hang out our people, the theater club, hang out with the theater club because they're in alignment with each other. It feels natural to hang out with people that want the same things, because then you want to spend your time in the same way. It's not just about social stratification. It's about seeking balance at several points in my life have made dramatic change. And when I make a big change and what I'm doing with my life, the people around me oftentimes react that change negatively. If you tell your friends that you want to make a lot more money, they'll think, Oh, when Johnson starts making a lot more money, don't change our friendship. This a put distance between us, will stop being my friend. Why would a millionaire want to be friends with me? And they will actively seek to block your success in order to save the friendship? This is why friends who want good things for you could still do things that sabotage you. It's not intentional. It's not evil. It comes from a selfish desire to spend more time with. You often will have people that don't encourage us for different reasons, and the reason, they don't encourage us. The reason they'll say, Don't do this, your projects in a fail No one wants to read your book. They'll try and limit you because they don't want you to leave. We can see this in tough relationships where there's an imbalance and power. That person is more powerful, doesn't want the other person to break free. And they say, Oh, you'll never succeed not because they think the person won't succeed but they're terrified that the person will. The people I spent time with have changed a lot when I was younger, the group of friends I spent time with They're not in my life anymore. Their trajectories weren't very steep. They weren't headed very far. And I want more from my life than when I surrounded myself with you at online businesses. It was great, but a lot of them don't want to travel or don't want to become expats. So what's the other parts of the world? So I moved on to another group of friends. The people around you can either hurt you, be neutral or help you, and you have to decide what's important now. I went through this phase where go my monster person. I wanted to change my friendship, running around my pills with people who will help me have a better life. Does this make me an animal and you go through that? It's kind of, ah, rite of passage where you have to decide what kind of person you want to be. And I'm not a friendship mercenary. I'm not someone who ends. Friendships of people sit because they have nothing to offer me. I'm not that bad, but I invest more time in the people who were in alignment with me who want the same things from me. I invest more time in relationships with people, the same business as me have quite a few friends who went into sales. They're salesmen. I don't spend a lot of time with them. We don't much to talk about. There's a reason where I live. I don't have a lot of friends. Most of the people here, the only thing we have in common is being Westerners is being for a nurse, and the things we talk about always turns into politics. I don't talk about that. Hate it because it's depressing. No conversation about politics ends with everyone smiling, you read any political website, any news Web site. The news is all bad. On the very same day website for the left, on a website. For the right, we'll both say, if the end of time, for opposite reasons. But they both say it's all over. Everyone's gonna die. Everything's ruined. Democracy is dead. I just don't need that negative energy in my life. Instead, I want invest time in relationships with people that are on the same path as me. Now you could be neutral where you have friends and you're kind of not bringing each other down but not bring each other up. And that's okay. But we want to be beyond that. We want to do a little better than that. If you're friends with people who make more money than you, they will do things to help you make more money both passively and actively. If you're surrounded by people who make 10 times more money than you and you take on contract projects or do different types of work, they'll pay farm or than people who make the same amount of money. Is you someone making the same amount of money is, you might pay you $500 for a job, but someone is significantly wealthier. Might pay you 3 to $5000 for the same job. You increase the value of your work based on the people you surround yourself with. Of course you have. You will deliver the high quality work. But I know you can, because everything you need to know the creek high quality work is hidden within these block posting podcasts episodes. So I know you're covered. One of the cool ways to bring good people into your life is with a mastermind. And I know masterminds have now become this commercialized thing where you meet once a year and you pay huge amounts of money to remember, but at a lower level. And a more really level is the mastermind is a group of 35 12 people who meet once a week or every couple of weeks and talk about the things going on their business and share ideas. One of the first masterminds I joined, everyone in the group was making 35 to $40,000 a year, and it was great when I was making way less than that that was a great mastermind to be in spent time with those people. Their ideas and their beliefs affected me. But once I made as much money as everyone else, I realized I need to go to another mastermind because none of these people are changing. Their income levels have been in this match right for three years. They were the same level for three years. They've reached equilibrium as a group. When I joined a mastermind or group of friends who are making $100,000 a year than my income started moving towards that level, and there's a couple ways this happens. The first is belief. You start to believe your time is worth more people around. You believe you're Simon's worth more, and so this sense of belief will affect every area of your income. It will really affect you. The second thing that happens is pass on work. Let's say you're making $3000 a month, which is absolutely fine. That's what a lot of people want to make that $3000 a month. You can quit your job. You could live anywhere the world. If you're in a group where everyone makes $3000 a month. Any job you get offered will be what you're making or less. But if you're in a group where everyone is making $10,000 a month, the guy next to you might go look, Jonathan, I don't want to insult you, but someone just came in with the project. It's only gonna make five grand a month. It's not really worth my time. I make twice that. Would it interest you? And you go? Sure, So you're now taking someone's cast offs. But you've just increase your income 67% months, Massive bump and again, you're in a group of people making 10 grand a month. I'm making five grand a month because they brought this project to you. And then something happens where another person goes. Look, I got this thing that I need someone to run salary $7000 a month of the the budget, $7000 a month. But you interested in that? And now you're making more than double you're making for just because you're around people that can afford and we'll pay a higher rate and they don't want to receive a lower rate. So for them filmmaking. 10 grand a month, seven grand a month is a step down. They would never take that job. But for you to go from three grand a month to seven grand a month in three months, that's pretty good. You're neutral friends and you're holding back. Friends can't help you make more money. Now. You can't have friends who are really encouraging. And I always think of that Ben Affleck monologue and Good Will Hunting. We talked about how he hopes one day Matt Damon won't be there when he comes to pick him up from work. And we all want to have that friend who believes it's that much. They look forward to the day when they never get to see us again. But no friend is actually like. That's why that's a movie. In reality, our friends want to be friends with us. They don't want our friendship to end. They wanted to continue, said their motivation and their Dr is not to send you away, but instead to keep you close. Look at the people around you and see if they're actively or passively holding you back or limiting you. Are they helping you to grow your business or the discouraging you. Sometimes all it takes is people thinking that what you're doing is unrealistic or impossible, or that you will fail. Maybe they think that nobody conceived as an author anymore. Nobody wants to buy books on Amazon name. Or maybe they're convinced that the economy is collapsing and the only safe place to be is working for a large company. Even the large companies are collapsing far faster than any other part of the world. But a few discouraging words could really hurt your self esteem. It can really hurt you. Believe in yourself and your faith and what you're trying to make happen. Words are very powerful. I remember as a child we had all these little Sanks sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I'm rubber. You're glue whatever you say about stuff me and sticks to you. But as adults, we don't even say these anymore. We know that words have power because we start to believe them. We can have people in our lives that are discourage Er's and all it takes is one really strong discourage or to knock you off the course of your destiny. It's very hard the process that we're trying to go through, not just the mechanics of building a business, but the emotional journey and the struggle that you go through mentally of believing in yourself and going through the hard times to get to what you want. The period of sacrifice. We don't make any money for a month or two where you're really having to put an effort hoping there's a light at the end of the tunnel. That's tough. We want to get there, but if we don't have enough belief, we can't get there. We need that feather from gumbos knows that helps imply. Sometimes we need that crutch in between where we have enough belief to get us to the point we have that first success. If you have friends who are encourage er's and they say, Look, I know you can do it I don't understand what you're doing, but I believe in you that feels really good. That's a great type of person to have a relationship with. A lot of times people express their own dissatisfaction with their own lives, their own false beliefs, thrown misinformation, control your fate, so much of that book is about how we live based on misinformation. Most people have no idea what things cost. The amount of ignorance we have in our society is astounding. Data is available. Your fingertips. There are websites that are dedicated to letting you know the cost of living in every city in the world. Yet most people will gladly tell you that different cities air expensive without ever spending the 30 seconds it takes to find out. When someone tells me something and I can tell they haven't even done 30 seconds of research, my only feeling for them is disdain. I can't even get to the level of dislike I don't respect when someone gives me information that's clearly wrong. And they haven't research. When I say that someone was it cost to live in the city and they just say a number and have no idea what they're talking about. I don't respect that and nearly lose all respect for that person. If you could pull out your phone and look up the answer, do that. Guess what? People do it all the time. People do it for movie trivia. Why not do it for real life. Do you know what it costs to live in a foreign country? Do you know the crime rate is in foreign countries? You have any idea what the cost of living where I live is No. We don't know. People assume that because I live on a tropical island spending the 30 or $50,000 a month living it up. I'm not living inside Magnum P. I. He only lived in the guesthouse anyway. Is not the main house. You have to get information from good sources. If you have a friend who speaks from ignorance a great deal and that's a problem. And I have certain friends who d'oh have certain friends in my life. I don't talk to very often because they speak from ignorance, especially when they give me really die. Advice to go. This place is so dangerous and I go why? And they go Well. I heard a guy who heard it. I heard a guy and I go. Does the guy in the story have a hook? Isn't someone of state from asylum with a hook on his hand? Is one of those stories. If it starts out like an urban legend. I'm not interested. So pay attention to not only how your friends encourage you not only the levels, the rat and effects of our desire to equalize, but also where they get their information from. A lot of people will give you really bad advice, and they're excited about it. They regurgitate stuff. They read on forms that they've never actually experienced. There are plenty of people who give me travel advice who don't own a passport. They'll give you a marriage advice. They never married. They'll give you a home ownership advice. They've never owned a home. Have you noticed? I've never talked about getting a home loan. I've never talked about buying a home. I've never talked about whole maintenance. I've never talked about that aspect of business, even though when you are a homeowner, that's a big amount of your financial worry, dealing with mortgages, dealing with the costs of different types of insurance, dealing with taking care of the house and maintenance and property taxes. But I never talk about it because I don't own a house. I don't talk about things for which I'm ignorant Now. I could look up and find really cool answers online and give you some decent information. But you would know I'm just record dictating something I read online. You might as well read the same articles. It's better to go to someone who knows the same reason I don't talk about stocks very often. In fact, I think I never do other than to say I'm not a big stock guy. I have a couple of basic funds that I invest in, but I would say that on a scale of 1 to 100 100 being most advanced, you could be I'm about a one, maybe a 1.5, because I invest a little bit. So I'm more than someone doesn't invest it all. But that's it. Look at the information people give you and look at their desires. Your friends can love you very much, but if you succeed, it becomes a critique of their failure. Let's say you and your best friends we have decent jobs were making $50,000 a year Ridge. All right, and, uh, we have an idea. We're bouncing around. When I were having a couple of years, we have an idea for a little business and then I get really excited about. We both get excited about it. But the next in the cold light of day, you say, you know it's not gonna work and I go, I'm gonna go for it anyways. If you don't want to do the other, no problem. I'll do it. So let's see what happens. Here's how their relationship will go If I become successful, it, of course I will, because this is my metaphor and I build the business now the busy making $200,000 a year, a couple of things will happen. The first is our friendship will end because my success is a critique of your inaction. Every dollar I make is a dollar you're not making because you're a coward and that is painful. Our egos can't handle that. To believe yourself, a coward is very hard. No one was ever says that no one ever says I'm a coward. It's too hard to admit and look in the mirror. Go. I am not making the money I should be making because I had an idea and I was too afraid to turn into business. I am a coward. It's my own fault, too. hard to do. So instead, what we say is it's luck, John thinks, succeeded by luck and our friendship starts to crumble. There starts to be some problems in between this because now you don't respect me when you say someone. Success is based on luck. But you're really saying is I don't respect you. I respect your hard work. I don't respect your effort to respect your business decisions. You only succeeded because of luck. It's dehumanizing someone to say they won. But because of luck, the only time people make money because of luck is the lottery. But that's okay. Our friendship starts to go down the path and then you decide. You know what? It was my idea. I own half that idea and you may even come to go. Look, Where's my taste? That was my idea. I want my half. And then I haven't that point. A decision to make Now, if it's like a movie, I give you half the money. We're best friends forever. We've all seen that movie, but a reality I'll say Hey, nice idea. I asked you to partner with me on it. You told me No, you refused me you rejected me then you told me my success is because of luck. Now you want to get half the rewards without doing half the effort that he is actually worth nothing. Ideas are worth trash. The real value comes from implementation comes from effort. That's where you build your business from. That's where you make your revenue from. And that's where you shy. If you want big success than you need to surround yourself with people that are in alignment with your success, what you don't want is there. Surround yourself with friends who regret your success, who see your success as a critique of their inaction. They've done a lot of studies of high school students, and they watch how, in a classroom certain students from certain groups will hold each other down. The student who answers questions all the time gets made fun of because the other students want to lower them to their level. They want to maintain equilibrium. People around you will do things to keep you from breaking orbit, because if you succeed every time they look in the mirror, they have to admit they could have succeeded, too, if they put in the effort, and that's a hard pill to swallow, so they avoid it now. I'm not saying all of your friends are poisonous, but we have a lot of friends there somewhere on this ark, friends who don't have the same desires as us, And so they just want to take away our time saying, Don't spend all night working. Don't work on your new webs. I don't work on your project. Don't worry about that product. Just come hang out. Spend some time together. Let's be bro's. Let's spend time. Let's go and have a couple of drinks. It's the same things. When you're on a diet, you're trying to lose weight, and you're a friend who eats cake all the time. Indifferently Hey, one piece won't hurt that much, and that's really what people say. It's so funny how all the commercials I watched as a child about peer pressure are totally true. Matter how much we pretend it's not pure pressure commercials and those cartoons we watched as a kid those afternoon specials, they're really accurate because we always just one won't hurt. I quit smoking several years ago, three years ago, and I still know people who will try to offer me a cigarette, A ones, not a big deal. Now there's one particular person in my life who always does that. We're not friends. I hate this guy because of that and a couple of other reasons. But this is the main reason for me. Cigarette is a death sentence. I don't think I can quit again. If I smoke another cigarette, that's the first step on the path to the end of my life. So to me it feels the same as someone putting a gun in my mouth and spinning the barrel and saying, There's just one bullet in here. Let's see what happens. I don't like that. And so I don't want to be friends with someone who's trying to peer pressure me into something that will kill me. I really don't like it. I'm about to travel to the city where this person lives for the next week, and I'm praying I don't run into a I don't like hanging out with him. I don't like that He tries to bring me down to his level, have no interest in that. But your friends, it could be something softer, you know, man you run today, Just have a little snack. Don't. It's not a big deal. Missing one workout isn't a big deal. We all pay a pressure that way. And I peer pressure people the same way when I was younger, I'm just a skilled. Give it okay. That's why I know how works. And I know that it works. I've done it. I've received it. Think about the people you're investing your time with, thinking about how they're affecting your self confidence, your belief in yourself, the effort you put in and how you spend your time. If the people around you are all making less money than you want to make, it's time to make a change. Excited to bring in a few people that are lifting you up rather than leaving you neutral or even worse, pulling you back down. And if you pay a little more attention to your relationships and your friendships, maybe those friendships will start pulling you up rather than holding you back. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Serve No Master. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss. Another episode will be back tomorrow with more tips and tactics on how to escape that rat race. Head over to serve no master dot com forward slash podcasts Now for your chance to win a free copy of Jonathan's best seller, Serve No master. All you have to do is leave a five star review of this podcast. See you tomorrow. So are you ready to make your first all alive? Grab my free Guide How to make $1000 this month that served master dot com front slash one K.