Ep 228. Promises That Live On Beyond Seasons

Mary Stone shares an update on her friend and design colleague, Marty Carson, who is now in hospice care in Florida. At the same time, with a heavy heart, she shares news of the closure of the Karen and Quinlan Home for Hospice in Fredon, NJ,  due to financial and staffing challenges. Mary and her singing partner, Ken Roberts, volunteer weekly, offering music therapy. 

To know that such compassionate care of our elderly and gravely ill is unsustainable is heartbreaking. 

Mary wraps up by reflecting on the unfolding of God —or, source, if you prefer —in everything and everyone, and much of it goes beyond our senses. It's in the unseen. There is an eternity in all things, and with that comes hope.

Thanks for Tuning In!

Related Podcast and Posts: 

Promises That Live Beyond Seasons - Blog Post

Ep 47. Personal Growth with Houseplants

Personal Growth with Houseplants - Blog Post 

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I'd love to hear your garden and nature stories and your thoughts about topics for future podcast episodes. You can email me at AskMaryStone@gmail.com. 

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook and Instagram #MaryElaineStone.

Episode web page —Garden Dilemmas Podcast Page

 Thank you for sharing the Garden of Life,

Mary Stone, Columnist & Garden Designer

More about the Podcast and Column:

Welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries.

It's not only about gardens; it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learned from mother nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in in the spirit of learning from each other. We have lots to talk about.

Thanks for tuning in, Mary Stone
Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com
Direct Link to Podcast Page

Transcript

Ep 228. Promises That Live On Beyond Seasons

Sat, Nov 01, 2025 8:59PM • 12:19

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Garden dilemmas, nature inspirations, house plants, hospice care, personal growth, fall leaves, Ken Roberts, Marty Carson, Karen and Quinlan, nursing homes, advance directive, Songs of Hospice, Julia Quinlan, end-of-life care, community support.

SPEAKERS

Mary Stone

Mary Stone  00:00

Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary stone, and welcome to garden dilemmas, delights, and discoveries. It's not only about gardens. It's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other, we have lots to talk about. 

Mary Stone  00:26

Hello, there. It's Mary Stone on the screen porch, and it's a little vacant out here. The plants are now back inside, in their transition zone. I keep them away from other house plants for a week or two to monitor critters that may have found their way into the soil or on the leaves. So far, so good. One of the fun things about moving plants back indoors is reflecting on the origins of some of them —houseplants. I've had in my life for many years. We spoke about them in Episode 47, Personal Growth with Huseplants. I think I'll tune in again to see how I've grown since then. 

Mary Stone  01:05

So today we have a continuum, if you will, after last week's story about the sequence of fall leaves bringing new life. Thank you for your kind words from so many of you who enjoyed the episode and shared your comments. Ken Roberts, my dear friend and singing partner at the home for hospice, reached out, isn't it amazing the wisdom that can be found in children's books. You may recall I mentioned Leo Basgalia's book, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, Ken wrote. It reminds me of an old Amish saying, We grow too soon, old and too late smart. Benjamin Franklin is quoted as saying something similar. Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. But it is never too late or too soon, when you think about it, that is something to ponder. 

Mary Stone  01:57

Ken and I had a special visitor on Friday at the home for hospice. That brings me to this week's story that starts like this: Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. As you may know, you can subscribe to my free newsletter at Ask Mary Stone.com, which arrives in your inbox every week or two since the beginning, when I launched the website version of our weekly chats, my dear friend and garden design colleague Marty Carson, has been a faithful subscriber on Sunday while sending the latest newsletter, I noticed Marty had unsubscribed. My heart sank. Clearly, her family is helping her tidy things up. Marty broke her hip in February, and though she breathed through the surgery, it marked the beginning of her decline. In spring, she moved near her son in Florida. A few weeks ago, she entered hospice care, lovingly tended to in her home. My last visit via FaceTime was on her birthday, September 19. I stopped on the way home from a client behind me stretched the sunny faces of liberty farm sunflower maze, which brightened her day and mine, a moment I'll always cherish. 

Mary Stone  03:16

Speaking of hospice, the Karen and Quinlan home for hospice in Freedon, New Jersey, will have its last day of operations on November 14, 2025. The news, though sad, wasn't surprising. A few months ago, they began using only 6 of the 10 rooms to reduce costs while maintaining their exceptional care. I've witnessed that care firsthand as a music therapy volunteer alongside my friend Ken Roberts for nearly nine years. Ken began the day the doors opened 11 years ago. Recently, John Quinlan, the foundation's director, thanked us for our service, though, honestly, it's been a gift to us. He explained that since the pandemic, nursing shortages and the cost of agency staff have strained budgets. Once patient numbers increase from six rooms to seven and then to 12, staffing must double to ensure proper care. The nurses and caregivers at Karen and Quinlan are extraordinary angels here on Earth, this end of life, residence shows what genuine compassion looks like. 

Mary Stone  04:25

To know such care is unsustainable is heartbreaking, especially after seeing the inadequate conditions my mother endured for three years in Virginia, and hearing of others with similar experiences closer to home. Many recall the tragic headlines surrounding the former Andover sub-acute two, later renamed Woodland Behavioral and Nursing Center, where neglect shocked the nation. Thankfully, Karen Ann Quinlan hospice, the non profit agency, will continue serving patients in their homes and at nursing facilities, their statement assured the community, while the inpatient residents will close, Karen and Quinlan hospice and Quinlan palliative care will continue without interruption, our team will remain by your side, offering the same excellence and empathy that has defined our care for nearly a half a century.

Mary Stone  05:22

 The beautiful building overlooking farmland will remain in use for offices, the bereavement center, volunteer training and events. Perhaps someday, with new funding and positive shifts, the home for hospice will reopen, continuing its legacy of exceptional care. I pray so, as it is needed in our community and all over the nation. Really, it serves as a role model for how care should be. 

Mary Stone  05:53

Last week, we spoke about the sequence of falling leaves and how they nourish the earth for the next season of growth. Their role doesn't end. It transforms. The same is true for us and for the good work of agencies like the Karen and Quinlan Home for Hospice.  The gifts my friend Marty has shared through her plant wisdom and design talents over our 25 years together will continue to grow in my work beautifying landscapes organically to nurture a healthier world. Our love and friendship, like the seasons, will never truly end. 

Mary Stone  06:30

Ken Roberts and I are working on a project, the songs of hospice, a collection celebrating life's final chapters through the healing gift of music to raise awareness and help raise funds. The collection reveals glimpses of the journey patients and families experience, as well as gifts shared during the sacred time. Yes, even as we approach the end of life, we are living.

Mary Stone  06:58

At the most recent high tea fundraiser, which was in the spring, Julia Quinlan, co-founder of Karen Ann Quinlan hospice, now 97, attended with her signature grace. As the event wound down, Ken and I sat by her side and sang Over the Rainbow her daughter Karen Ann's favorite song. When we finished, Julia took my hand and said, promise me that when I am gone, you will continue to sing. We will, I promised her. We will keep singing for all whose love continues to grow beyond the seasons of life.  Garden Dilemmas. Ask Mary Stone.com.

Mary Stone  07:38

 When Marty was convalescing in her home in Sussex County, Ken and I would go from the hospice to her house to sing for her, I should say with her, as Marty was a singer. She sang with the masterwork chorus, who are known for its performance of Messiah at Carnegie Hall each Christmas time. So perhaps we'll take our music on the road and visit with patients in their own homes. 

Mary Stone  08:03

There is an article written not long ago in May of 2025 with a photo of John Quinlan in the living room at the home for hospice in Freedon. Scott Fallon wrote it was one of New Jersey's first inpatient hospice centers, rooted in the Quinlan's belief that terminally ill people should not be kept alive through extraordinary means, if they so choose. He shared statistics about our aging population that were rather dramatic. The number of people 85 or older is expected to nearly double by 2035, to 11.8 million, and nearly triple by 2060, to 19 million, according to US Census projections. And so what is broken needs to be fixed. 

Mary Stone  08:50

You know, when a family member goes through difficult times, and especially in difficult nursing homes that do not treat their patients kindly, we walk away exhausted from it, so exhausted that we don't speak up to help impact change. It happens to many families. It happened to us. And nursing home care is not only for the elderly. Young people end up in nursing homes, as did Karen Ann, who, I believe, was 21 when she went into a coma. It was the most difficult thing to watch my daughter die slowly for 10 years, Julia said.

Mary Stone  09:24

 I am so grateful that Julia Quinlan and her husband, Joseph, spoke up —and did so in a big way. It was national news. I remember it well. It's because of Quinlan's legal battle for their daughter's right to live without extraordinary means of life support that a landmark decision came giving us the right to choose not to be on life support or have extreme measures to keep us alive. We can sign a document called an advanced directive, making our wishes known.

Mary Stone  09:58

Yes, my heart is heavy about our Home for Hospice visits ending, but I suspect, and genuinely believe, it's the beginning of a transition to something more. We will continue singing our songs, and I encourage you to do the same. The songs of your spirit don't have to be a voice. It's our interactions and the loving care we give each other and our dear earth that is a voice that speaks loudly. We come here to share ourselves with others and enjoy the gifts of our world. Passions sometimes grow into a mission, a life purpose.  Or they come in expressions of art, knitting, needlepoint, beautiful breads, cookies, cakes, and flower arrangements —gifts to share with others.  Or simply things like waving at passersby as you're walking your dog.

Mary Stone  10:47

 There is an unfolding of God, or source, if you prefer, in everything and everyone, and much of it goes beyond our senses. It's in the unseen. As you gaze at the beauty of nature, think about the unseen magic that awakens buds in early spring, that brings the blooms that turn into seeds that drop to the ground to make more plants in the next season of growth, a cycle that never ends or dies. There is an eternity in all things, and with that comes hope. 

Mary Stone  11:23

So thank you for visiting with me on the screen porch. I didn't mention it's actually dark outside, so it's relatively silent, even the nighttime singers are going to sleep for the season, although I hear a few still in the trees. May we all take time to listen to their songs and to the songs of each other, and for the hope that sings in all of our hearts. See you next time on the screen porch.

Mary Stone  11:49

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at GardenDilemmas.com and on Instagram at # GardenDilemmas. Mary Elaine Stone, Garden Dilemmas, Delights and Discoveries, is produced by Alex Bartling. Thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch, and always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.