Ep 233. Everything has its Season - Lesson of the Leaf Epilogue

Mary Stone discusses her garden and offers personal reflections, highlighting winter's impact on her landscape. She expresses gratitude for the snow covering her woodland floor and shares her creative use of deer-pruned holly branches to decorate a cherished pot. 

Mary reflects on the invasive nature of some plants, such as butterfly bush and barberry, and her shift toward using more native plants. 

She also draws metaphorical parallels between garden maintenance and personal relationships, emphasizing the importance of letting go when necessary. Mary concludes by thanking her listeners for their support and encouragement.

Thanks for Tuning in!

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I'd love to hear your garden and nature stories and your thoughts about topics for future podcast episodes. You can email me at AskMaryStone@gmail.com. 

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook and Instagram #MaryElaineStone.

Episode web page —Garden Dilemmas Podcast Page

 Thank you for sharing the Garden of Life,

Mary Stone, Columnist & Garden Designer

More about the Podcast and Column:

Welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries.

It's not only about gardens; it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learned from mother nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in in the spirit of learning from each other. We have lots to talk about.

Thanks for tuning in, Mary Stone
Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com
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Transcript

Ep 233 Everything has its Season - Lesson of the Leaf Epiologue

Sat, Dec 13, 2025 12:05PM • 13:41

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Garden dilemmas, nature inspirations, winter snow, late season tasks, holiday decor, Mother Earth pot, deer damage, garden renovations, invasive plants, native plants, relationship seasons, personal growth, landscape design, community support, seasonal change.

SPEAKERS

Mary Stone

Mary Stone  00:00

Mary, Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary stone, and welcome to garden dilemmas, delights and discoveries. It's not only about gardens, it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other, we have lots to talk about. 

Mary Stone  00:25

Hello there. It's Mary stone on a snowy screen porch. We had 10 degrees this week with ice crystals decorating the storm windows. I adore when that happens, like intricate etchings of art. Now we're a bit warmer, but it's still below freezing, with a lovely coating of new snow that occurred last night unexpectedly. I am so grateful for the cold snap and the few inches of snow covering the woodland floor that was disturbed by moving those boulders now gracing the front of my home, as we discussed last time, because Jolie does not have muddy feet. So even though it's still fall, I'm loving the snow, although it has preempted some late-season plantings. I have to say, we had some screen trees that we were planning to do. But spring will bring another season.

Mary Stone  01:14

 I want to thank those who reached out after our last chat, late-season tasks into decor and healing. You never know the difference you can make by sharing your kindness. Thank you, Blaine, and all of you who join me each week; you warm my heart. 

Mary Stone  01:30

I've mentioned before that I dictate notes to share with you while I'm walking, and yesterday, while I was out in the woods with Jolie, I grew a little teary. I know I share some of my personal journey with you, and I hope it helps you as you maneuver through yours. It's holiday time, and I'm adjusting to living alone. Well, not alone. I am blessed to have Jolie. Life is meant to be shared, though, and I am grateful for all that I share my life with, including you. 

Mary Stone  01:58

But sometimes relationships have their seasons, and while we don't want those seasons to end, sometimes they do way before the courage or circumstances come that make it clear it's time to let go. We can stay stuck, hoping things will return to how they once were. Saying goodbye is sad, because love doesn't always end with the season. So thank you again for letting me share some of my feelings going on. 

Mary Stone  02:26

So today, we're going to have a continuum of our last chat in a way, about our scavenger hunt to decorate window boxes and pots. Well, the holly branches chewed off Ellie's Memorial tree by the deer. They spent the week in the garage while I was in Virginia, and they dried out completely. I really couldn't believe it, but I imagine the deer urine may have something to do with it. However, I still put them in the much-adored Mother Earth face pot that was given to me by a longtime client. When they moved from their home, they gifted it to me, a gift I cherish and decorate each season, as I did in their home for many years. 

Mary Stone  03:04

The beautiful face pot has a pot behind it that's filled with perennials, but the soil was frozen solid. So I thought, hey, I'm going to go into the potting shed and see if I can find a small pot or two or three that didn't freeze and use it. You know, like a florist would use the foam that they stick dried arrangements in or live arrangements. How clever am I? And it worked very well. I stuck the little pots on top of the frozen soil, and I used them as florist foam. So, there you go.

Mary Stone  03:37

 I harvested some hidden Holly branches I found along the foundation. I was on my hands and knees, tucked under the viburnum, clipping them, getting stuck with the branches. It was pretty funny, and many of them had berries. So, as much as it's not time to prune, there's always a little pruning you can do that helps the cause: getting the branches away from the house, enhancing your decor, and bringing winter color to my Mother Earth's face. 

Mary Stone  04:02

As I was planting the deer-pruned branches in the makeshift florist foam. All the holly leaves that were on the branches, chewed off by the deer, pretty much crumbled. I left them. Most of the leaves landed in the snow in front of the face. And while they didn't really add anything to the esthetic I was looking for. I left them there. There's something about using the leave-behinds from an instinctive animal activity. In fact, healing in a way, using those branches for the purpose of having a purpose. Despite the damage to Ellie's tree, it made me feel better to use them. It's making the best of it, honoring what Mother Nature has in her control by her design. It's not our role to change it. 

Mary Stone  04:47

By the way, Ellie's tree now has the star topper, but I left the deer netting. Call me cautious. But this morning, the deer netting was covered in snow and dropped like a too-big skirt, so low that many of the branches are now exposed. So perhaps I'll hang the Christmas balls on the tree. Maybe they'll deter the deer from chewing off more branches. What do you think? Actually, I think, and I hope, rutting season is over, so there'll be no more Buck rub and chewing off and urinating around my beloved Ellie's tree.

Mary Stone  05:19

 While decorating the Mother Earth pot, I was reflecting on my garden renovations. We dug out and tossed many of the plants I initially planted 20-something years ago that had grown to be invasive, never having imagined that outcome. They were plants commonly used in the landscape industry at the time when the movement for deer-resistant plants became a necessity—the first generation of butterfly bush, prolific cedars. Yes, butterflies dance on the nectar when it's in bloom, but it's not a host plant for them, and so not such an ideal plant to have. Barberry, ugh, the beast of the forest, now taking over forest floors. I didn't plant the ones that were here, but they sure have self-seeded and planted themselves. We spoke about barberry alternatives in Episode 212. I'll put a link in the show notes.

Mary Stone  06:12

 Then there's the little prince of spirea. I did plant, regretfully, so many volunteers, and recent years, I cut them in half before the seeds became viable, because I couldn't dig them out. The plants were so deeply rooted. I did keep up with the new volunteers, though, but good riddance to the mother plant. 

Mary Stone  06:33

It's interesting how what once we desired to plant becomes invasive, taking over, squelching out the growth of other things, making a jumbled mess of things. But there's an upside. As I've grown in my profession as a garden designer, I'm learning not to force things, which has led me to use more and more native plants, as nature intends us to encourage in our gardens. Thankfully, a growing trend and desire is happening amongst clients. And so my 80-20 goal is what we've spoken about before, where I try to plant 80% native plants and no more than 20% non invasive ornamental plants that serve some role in nurturing wildlife. And sometimes native plants can overwhelm too, like Rudbeckia, that's black eyed Susans. Rude. Becky. I often say nothing against you. Becky, you sure are pretty and serve pollinators. 

Mary Stone  07:28

Mountain Mint is another native ambitious spreader, featured in Episode 68 I have the short tooth Mountain Mint, and I have to say it spread crazily where the hemlocks used to stand and I just love their silvery bracts and how showy but demure their pinkish flowers are, because the bumble bees and the bees and the butterflies just dance on it from July through September, making it the best of show. But I only saved a few swaths of it because I know that for sure it will spread again. 

Mary Stone  08:01

While digging up the plants, I found daffodil bulbs amongst the perennials I had dug up. Not native, but I love the early bursts of sunshine in April, don't we all? I couldn't find them when I was replanting, though, so I hope that they show up in the compost pile, maybe in time for Easter, as daffodils magically seem to do.

Mary Stone  08:21

 Yes indeed, seasons end and New Seasons unfold. Just as some relationships and friendships end, though many continue to grow, season to season, year after year. Like the tulip trees around my property, Mother Nature seems to have chosen them to replenish the beech trees declining due to Beech leaf disease. I still hug Mr. Beach, who's center stage in my front yard. Maybe I can't save him. Perhaps he won't be able to live here anymore, but I can still love him, even after he's gone. I'm hoping he will heal, but I can't make it happen. 

Mary Stone  08:58

I can make an analogy of hope in my heart, too, as I maneuver through the shift at home. plants, like relationships, grow. Sometimes they outgrow their pots or garden space and need to be moved and transplanted. Yes, you can prune them for a while, but eventually their vigor fades, and if you don't move or remove it, if it becomes invasive, it will squelch other desirable plants. Things will die or it will but it doesn't mean you've lost the love for them. Like rude Becky and Mountain Mint, I adore you, but sometimes I have to weed you out so the remaining plants can thrive. The same is true in our lives, so you can thrive rather than be suppressed by a relationship that no longer is nurturing or that harms you. Still, it's hard to let go. 

Mary Stone  09:47

Just the other day, I re-read my About the Author bit on the website, AskMaryStone.com. It's kind of like a mission statement, if you will. Mary stone. Owner of stone associates landscape design and consulting. As a landscape designer, I am grateful for the joy of helping others beautify their surroundings, which often leads to sharing encouragement and life experiences. These relationships inspired my weekly column published in The Press Garden Dilemmas? Ask Mary Stone, which began in 2012. I dream of growing the evolving community of readers (and now listeners, I must say, thankfully,) into an interactive forum to share encouragement and support in garden and personal recoveries, seeking nature's inspirations, stimulating growth, weeding undesirables, embracing the unexpected. And I end with Thank you for visiting as I thank you my kind listeners for visiting with me each week. 

Mary Stone  10:51

What I didn't realize is that in fulfilling the dream, I'm helping myself to heal and grow too thanks to you kind listeners and readers. May we all recognize when a plant or relationship has outgrown our garden of life, not to say it can't be pruned to fit. There are bonsais, you know, and they are beautiful, but I often wonder how the plant feels when it's confined to a small pot. Maybe the adoration it receives as a piece of art outweighs the sadness of not being allowed to grow to its full potential. But if a relationship can't be shifted or moved or changed to heal and grow once again, it's time to let it go. Some of us tend to hold on to things too long in hopes of rejuvenation. There is rejuvenation pruning, after all, but when something or someone squelches the growth, holding on ultimately will damage your heart and soul. It doesn't make the other person bad or wrong, it's merely a change of seasons. And we can't hold on to summer or fall forever, and we can't hold on to winter, but we can very much look forward to spring and new beginnings. 

Mary Stone  12:08

So thank you, my kind listeners, I did spend a lot of time on the journey in my life. Again, my goal is to share this so that it helps you, because I know life is about change, and sometimes changes are really hard, and just allowing yourself to go through them, and allowing things to unfold naturally and not force them. One thing I've learned is you can't change people. You know you can try to help them, but they may not take it as help and maybe something that offends them. And so I'm learning to let go and allow like the leaf in the water, a lesson My brother gave me so many years ago, and I'm still learning from it my brother. So that is a beautiful thing. So thank you. Thank you for visiting with me. I look forward to the next time on the screen porch, and now it's out to shovel the snow, but I do love it as I love every part of the seasons. I hope you do too. See you next time. 

Mary Stone  13:09

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at Garden Dilemmas.com and on Instagram at hashtag. Mary Elaine stone, garden dilemmas delights and discoveries as produced by Alex Bartling, thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch, and always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.