Ep 234. Stillness Teaches Growth Through Nature

Mary Stone reflects on the wisdom of stillness as an essential part of growth. Through nature’s rhythms and garden observations, she explores how healing and transformation often unfold unseen, offering a gentle preview of themes in Part Two of her forthcoming book, The Lesson of the Leaf.

“Stillness isn’t a pause — it’s where growth quietly begins.”

Thanks for Tuning in! 

Link to the related posts and podcast: 

Stillness Teaches Growth Through Nature -- Blog Post 

Overview of The Lesson of the Leaf - Blog Post

Episode 180 Overview of the Lesson of the Leaf 

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I'd love to hear your garden and nature stories and your thoughts about topics for future podcast episodes. You can email me at AskMaryStone@gmail.com. 

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Episode web page —Garden Dilemmas Podcast Page

 Thank you for sharing the Garden of Life,

Mary Stone, Columnist & Garden Designer

More about the Podcast and Column:

Welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries.

It's not only about gardens; it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learned from mother nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in in the spirit of learning from each other. We have lots to talk about.

Thanks for tuning in, Mary Stone
Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com
Direct Link to Podcast Page

Transcript

Ep 234. Stillness Teaches Growth Through Nature

Sat, Dec 20, 2025 9:03PM • 12:33

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Garden dilemmas, nature inspirations, winter arrival, bonsai analogies, patience lesson, book proposal, Hay House Publishing, healing growth, stillness clarity, letting go, soft strength, invisible connection, simplicity clarity, compassion service, seasonal cycle.

SPEAKERS

Mary Stone

Mary Stone  00:00

Mary, Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary Stone, and welcome to garden dilemmas, delights and discoveries. It's not only about gardens, it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So let's jump in, the spirit of learning from each other, we have lots to talk about. 

Mary Stone  00:25

Hello there. It's Mary Stone on the screen porch, and it is a rainy morning here in New Jersey. After a whole week of snow, we had a couple of inches here and there, and then eight inches of fluff on Sunday that just decorated the world in such a festive way. We are now officially in winter, and it was funny to have those late fall snows. Everything has its season. Last week's theme, and sometimes those seasons arrive ahead of time. This year feels like one of those times, but nature has a way of balancing things out. She barely rushes. She never apologizes for timing; she simply unfolds, and that unfolding, I've learned, is one of our greatest teachers. 

Mary Stone  01:09

Thanks to those of you who reached back after our last week's episode, your message is more than you know, just warms my heart. Several of you mentioned that you didn't notice the Mr. Beach and bonsai analogies at first, and that made me smile. There are so many parallels between our lives and what lives in nature, if we slow down enough to notice.  And while bonsai is turning nature into art, which isn't natural, guiding and shaping rather than allowing a tree to grow wild, there's art in that, and there's a lesson as well tucked into the practice, a lesson of patience and care. 

Mary Stone  01:46

As I was sharing the messages last week, I didn't realize that it might become the epilogue of my book, The Lesson of the Leaf, and recently, I had another opportunity to submit a revised book proposal to Hay House Publishing. We shall see what unfolds, whether this book finds its home with Hay House or another publisher, or through self-publishing, I feel deeply called to bring it into the world. And in truth, it doesn't feel like it's my book alone. It feels like it's our book. So many of its messages have grown from our weekly conversations, from what you've shared, and I'm so grateful.

Mary Stone  02:23

 What I've learned through writing this book is simple, really, but it's profound, when you think about it, that we do not heal and grow by fixing ourselves, but by remembering that we are part of something living, connected and enduring, and there's comfort in that. For those of you who are newer, here I share the Overview of the Lesson of the Leaf, back in episode 180, I will include the link in the show notes. Today, I'd like to begin sharing reflections from part two of the book, a collection of interconnected essays drawn from our weekly chats about gardens and nature and how they help heal and grow our lives.

Mary Stone  03:03

 I'll begin with a chapter called Still Water Clear Seeing. This chapter explores how stillness becomes a doorway to clarity through quiet rivers. I'm going to add drops of rain, winter woods, resting gardens, and moments when nothing appears to be happening at all. I reflect on what happens when we stop forcing answers and allow life to reveal itself in its own time. There's an image from the Tao Te Ching, the ancient teachings of Lao Tzu from 2500 years ago, actually. It speaks of muddy water and how, if left alone, the sediment settles, and the water clears, not because we stirred it, not because we fixed it, but because we waited. Nature understands this instinctively. Streams settle when undisturbed gardens rest beneath the snow. Birds negotiate shared space without meetings or manuals. Healing and growing, I've learned, follow these same patterns, and yet, in our modern life, when something feels uncomfortable, we want to fix it and just get over it. And, you know, it's kind of funny how we are rather than allowing. 

Mary Stone  04:27

Stillness is not stagnation. It's not giving up, and it's not falling behind. It's an active state of listening. Listen to the silence, and by doing so, we begin to notice subtle shifts. The way light moves across water. The moment a bird lands nearby, the quiet knowing that arrives without explanation. This chapter gently challenges the idea that healing and growth must be fast and dramatic. It assures us that we are not broken because we need time. We are not late because we haven't arrived at our answers yet, and that pace, like nature's, is perfect. 

Mary Stone  05:11

So as winter officially arrives, whether marked by snow or simply by quieter days, I invite you to practice stillness. Let the mud settle, let the water clear, trust the pause. And as the year winds down, many of us find ourselves reflecting, sometimes gently, sometimes with heaviness on endings. The end of a season, the end of a roll, the end of a relationship, or the loss of someone whose presence shaped our lives. Nature, as always, offers companionship. 

Mary Stone  05:52

One chapter of the lesson of leaf is called the Grace of Letting go, and in it, I explore the idea that letting go is not an act of loss but an act of trust. Through falling leaves, early acorn drops, and small signs that arrive just when they're needed, this chapter reflects on how release allows life to continue in new forms. So often we equate holding on with love, but sometimes holding on too tightly creates suffering, not because we care too much, but maybe because we're afraid of what comes next. 

Mary Stone  06:29

I write about moments when surrender felt terrifying, and how on the other side of that release, there was space, space for peace, space for breath, space for something new to take root. There's a scene of walking with my mother around the parking lot of this God forsaken nursing home. It was the best we could find. And there's a big tree there, an oak tree, and acorns were falling. And mom was in a very advanced stage of dementia. She hardly ever spoke, and when she did, it was not clear what she was trying to say, and I was just filling the air with talking with her about how those acorns were falling to the ground. They would propagate and make new trees that would grow new acorns that would propagate more trees and and so therefore, mom, life does not truly end. Trying to assure her that it was okay to let go like the acorns. And she said, as clear as a bell, I don't understand. And from that moment, it reveals to me how confusion can be held tenderly without answers. 

Mary Stone  07:40

Another chapter, Soft Strength, Tender Courage, explores resilience without resistance. We often misunderstand strength. We equate it with toughness, endurance, and pushing through pain. But nature tells a different story. Moss and lichen thrive under stress. Ancient trees endure not by force, but by adaptation. Plants bend, spread quietly, or wait patiently for conditions to change. Softness is not a weakness; it is intelligence. Tenderness, honesty, and vulnerability are not liabilities; they are acts of courage. 

Mary Stone  08:25

Then there's a chapter called the Threads We Cannot See. In it, I explore how connection exists even when it's invisible. Trees that appear solitary are deeply connected. Underground roots share resources. Fungi transmit nourishment. What looks alone is rarely alone. I reflect on moments when support arrived unexpectedly, through memory, timing, intuition, or a quiet sense of presence, and how those experiences soften by long-held belief of being alone in the world. Connection doesn't always announce itself. It doesn't require constant proof. Sometimes it's felt rather than seen, sensed rather than spoken. Loneliness, I've come to believe, is often a misunderstanding. We are not truly alone in this world. We are joined together, all of us, one with nature. 

Mary Stone  09:25

Other chapters include one title Enough and another The Paradox of Beautiful and Ugly and then there's Rooted in Compassion. They explore how simplicity restores clarity; acceptance dissolves judgment, and service heals both the Griever and the receiver. Gardens heal us as we tend to them. Dogs rescue us as much as we rescue them. Love grows when it is given.

Mary Stone  09:57

If I may, wrap up with a small moment. One that I didn't photograph well, but it registers deeply in my heart. Yesterday, while skiing around the yard and dictating notes to share with you, I wandered down by the brook where clear ice crystals from beneath the rocks were dangling. You know, those little bulb-like shapes so delicate and beautiful. After admiring them, I looked up and saw Ellie's Memorial tree. The star topper caught the sun at just the right angle, blazing with light. I tried to take the photo, but the phone couldn't capture what I was seeing, and I smiled, thinking of my brother Bill, who gave me the lesson of the leaf. One lyric from his song titled Hope Road, that he debuted three days before he passed away, says, put down your phone and follow Hope Road. And I imagine him saying, just look at the light, let it register in your heart. So that's my wish for you this season and always. 

Mary Stone  11:01

Thank you, kind listeners, for walking alongside me for so many weeks now. May your holidays, whatever you celebrate, be filled with love. Because every season, every celebration, is about love. While I hear all these raindrops melting away the snow, I'm finding comfort and knowing it is indeed part of the cycle. Mother Nature has a pace that is perfect, and while sadness can come from losses, there's new beginnings that follow. And in that cycle of seasons, there is such beautiful trust in what can come next if we just stand back and watch the beauty and not resist the flow like a leaf in the water. So thank you so much, and I would appreciate it if you’d share the podcast with a friend or two, so more can join us in learning and growing in this garden of life. It's such a joy to see our community growing, and it's all because of you. So I look forward to the next time on the screen porch. Have a beautiful day. 

Mary Stone  12:02

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at GardenDilemmas.com and on Instagram at the hashtag. Mary Elaine Stone, Garden Dilemmas, Delights and Discoveries, is produced by Alex Bartling. Thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch and always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.