Ep 241 - Reflections in the Garden of Life

On a slowly thawing winter day, Mary Stone reflects on the relationship between shadows and reflections—in nature, in garden design, and in the tender landscape of the heart.

From Jolee's curious moment at the storm door to the science of the mirror test, from still water in gardens to the hidden wisdom in roots shaped by difficult seasons, this episode explores how gentle awareness can transform survival into growth.

Thanks for tuning in!

Enjoy the Photos on the Companion Blog Post:

Reflections in the Garden of Life 

Links to Related Podcasts and Posts you'll enjoy:

Ep 240. Nature's Shadows, Outlines of Love

Nature's Shadows: Outlines of Love & Hope – Blog Post 

Link for more about Panache Desai 

Videos By Ellen Ebert: Casting Shadows

More about the Podcast and Column:

 Welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries.

 It's not only about gardens; it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learned from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other. We have lots to talk about.

Thanks for tuning in, Mary Stone 
Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com
Direct Link to Podcast Page

Transcript

Ep 241. Reflections in The Gardens of Life

Sat, Feb 14, 2026 7:14PM • 13:04

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Gardens, nature, shadows, reflections, winter, ice, pond, mirrors, self-awareness, garden design, light, colors, self-recognition, visual self-recognition, emotional climate.

SPEAKERS

Mary Stone

Mary Stone  00:00

Mary, Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary stone, and welcome to garden dilemmas, delights, and discoveries. It's not only about gardens, it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other, we have lots to talk about. 

Mary Stone  00:26

Hello there. It's Mary stone, and I'm in the screen porch. It's after dark, and I have my lights on the footbridge that crosses over the pond, creating shadows I love. And we are in a warming trend. I would say it's 31 degrees today. Feels kind of like a heat wave, but certainly we still are in the winter mode. That is for sure. You should see the rank that has formed outside the garage door, the path I take Jolie in and out of each day, it's now glazed in deep ice. There is no more Paw Safe ice melt around to be found. And so I put a dog towel over the rink for sure-footedness. Then more roof snow melted there, and it froze again. So now I have quite a mess. And I was thinking maybe I should put another towel on top of it, you know, another layer, kind of like a dog towel, club sandwich with ice. What do you think? Are you laughing yet? It's cracking me up a little bit, although I'm careful when I walk past. Jolie has skidded a few times as she's chased after the squirrels, which seem to be waking up after hiding in the single digits. Still, there is beauty in the way the light catches the frozen surface, as long as they don't fall.

Mary Stone  01:42

So, thanks to those who reached back after our last chat about nature's shadows and outlines of love; your notes reminded me how comforting it can be to notice what winter reveals rather than what it hides. Several of you shared how shadows in your own gardens or in your lives feel less lonely when seen as outlines of something still present, still loved. So this week is a continuum of sorts, along with shadows and reflections, which play their own roles in the garden, among nature's beauty, and in the Garden of Life. And it starts like this.

Mary Stone  02:20

 Hello, fellow lovers of all things green, last week, we chatted about how shadows, though born of blocked light, can reveal shape, depth and meaning, reminding us that darkness often carries the outline of something shining nearby, while shadows are caused by objects that block Light and usually extend away from it. Reflections are caused by light bouncing off a reflective surface, such as ponds, lakes, windows, and mirrors used in the garden, mirroring the colors and shapes of whatever stands before them: plants, people, animals, structures, and the sky. I recall that soon after Jolie arrived, she saw her reflection on the storm door. She stared at it in awe, or maybe she was confused. It only happened the one time. I wonder if she knew it was her. They say dogs first think it may be another dog, until their acute sense of smell and hearing discount the idea. Canine kids have excellent vision; they rely mostly on their noses and hearing. Some animals, though, recognize themselves in reflections: chimpanzees, orangutans, dolphins, elephants, and a few others.

Mary Stone  03:33

 The mirror test, developed in 1970 by psychologist Gordon Gallup, is a way of observing whether an animal understands that the image in the mirror is its own. A harmless mark is placed on the animal's body, where it can only be seen in a mirror. If the animal uses the mirror to investigate the mark on itself, rather than treating the reflection as another creature, it suggests a form of visual self-recognition, one marker of self-awareness and, some say, intelligence. Dogs may not pass the visual version of this test, though some researchers believe they recognize themselves through a scent instead, which feels like a lovely reminder that there is more than one way to know oneself. 

Mary Stone  04:20

I recently came across a video by an artist explaining the difference between shadows and reflections in paintings, which helps us understand our enjoyment of them in nature and gardens. What fascinated me most was the influence of light on shadow color. Outdoor shadows often appear bluish or violet because blue skies spread cool light into shaded places. By comparison, the area outside the shade lacks a purplish tint because the sun's more dominant yellow color casts a stronger hue, and shadows fade farther from the subject than in the shade. So shadows aren't merely. Darkness, they subtly hold color. 

Mary Stone  05:02

You may notice that shadows appear darker in water and can reveal what's beneath the surface. Reflections behave differently in still water. They appear beneath the object, blending sky, light, and surface into something shimmering and alive; your reflection often overlaps with your shadow, though it is more dominant. Waves and ripples in the water cause your reflection to dance in a mirror, the image reversed, the light sending it back to us, familiar, yet slightly changed, one of those bits of physics that still feels like magic. Perhaps the simplest way to say it is this: shadows are the absence of light on a surface, whereas reflections are light returning an image from a surface. Ellen Epert produced that video, and she also has a self-published book on Amazon, so I'll put a link in the show notes. It's so interesting to listen to. 

Mary Stone  06:03

And just as in nature, shadows and reflections have a place in garden design, motionless pools of dark water can double the sky, creating a calming symmetry. Mirrors tucked into shaded corners expand space and brighten darkness. Smooth stone, polished metal, and even gazing balls that have made a comeback offer tiny worlds of reflected light, used thoughtfully. Reflections make small gardens feel spacious, soften dim corners, and invite a sense of order. Still water offers peace while moving water scatters light into Something more enchanting. I adore how mirrors can gently lead you through a garden, both visually and on foot placement matters, of course, be sure to place mirrors in the shady areas so that sunlight bouncing off of them doesn't cause a fire, and put them in a spot to prevent harsh glare or heat, I often soften mirrors with vines so that they feel part of the living garden rather than something separate. 

Mary Stone  07:08

To protect our feathered friends. Don't have them near your bird feeders or too high so that they're in the way of their flight paths or in areas with heavy bird activity. You can paint indoor mirrors with waterproof paint or sealants, though they may not last as long as outdoor mirrors. I think of my friend Marty Carson's design idea in her garden, she used a very magnificent, wide trim Victorian mirror that I'm sure she treated it to stay in the garden for a very long time, and it reflected a pool below it, a little, small pond filled with frogs. And how I adored listening to the frogs. I almost thought the mirror echoed the sounds. It was so beautiful. I sure miss my friend Marty, always in my heart.

Mary Stone  07:57

Indeed, in gardens and nature, reflections and shadows work together; a calm pond surface holds the sky while nearby branches cast soft darkness across the water, light and shade living together, each revealing something the other cannot. Perhaps, our inner lives work that way, too. We carry places of brightness and happiness in our lives, we show the world, then there are quieter areas of challenge or sadness that often stay hidden, like the shaded side of a garden path, not wrong or unsightly, just unseen. 

Mary Stone  08:33

For a long time, I thought healing meant bringing hidden feelings to the surface, but gardens have taught me otherwise: some seeds only germinate in darkness. Roots do their important work underground. Tender plants need dappled shade before they can endure full sun. So maybe reflection of our pasts that impact our lives now is tender, seeing the way water reveals the sky, or how a mirror offers back what stands before it without judgment. 

Mary Stone  09:08

I was reminded of this while listening to a reflection about why we sometimes hold on to patterns that hurt us, self-sabotage. Panache Desai suggested often begins as protection, a survival response shaped by the emotional climate in which we first learned what love meant or what we thought it meant. Often, it starts within our childhood family dynamics. In garden language, it feels like a plant shaped by difficult weather, leaning towards scarce light, holding tight to the little water, and growing small to stay safe. Those responses were not failures. They were wise. They were how the plant lived. But when richer soil, steadier light, and open space finally appear, the old patterns may still linger in the roots a while. Not because the plant is broken, but because it remembers. Awareness, then, is like a gardener kneeling close, not pulling, not forcing bloom, simply loosening the soil, offering water, waiting with patience; only love and kindness understand.

Mary Stone  10:22

In this season of life, I felt how deeply old roots can run and how tender it is to see them clearly, painful, yes, but also freeing. But the invitation isn't to weed out the past. It's to understand that what once helped us survive can now help us move forward into conditions where we can live beyond enduring, where we can begin to grow, feel love, and find serenity. And when that happens, something softens, new shoots feel safe to reach for the light, blossoms appear not because we forced them, but because the garden was ready. 

Mary Stone  11:03

Perhaps this is the truest form of reflection, beyond the image in water or glass, but the moment we see ourselves with compassion and choose to grow in a kinder light, just as winter slowly turns towards the promise of spring. Garden dilemmas, AskMaryStone.com.

Mary Stone  11:27

Yes, indeed, while winter is still here, the light is changing, lengthening by the minutes. We can hardly notice. Reflection can be like that too, offering a quiet stillness, but beneath the surface, something is already preparing. It's on its way to bloom, and with that as a promise of a new beginning. 

Mary Stone  11:50

So thanks for coming by and for allowing me to share more of what's going on and my thoughts. I hope it helps you as you process things going on in your life, changes, some light happy moments, perhaps some hard times too. There are, indeed, seasons in life, and winter is one of them, but there is, and there always will be, the promise of spring. So until next time, notice reflections around you, in water, on ice, and in gardens, and the reflections and growth going on in your heart. And thank you for sharing the Garden of Life with me.

I look forward to the next time. Have a beautiful day. 

Mary Stone  12:33

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at GardenDilemmas.com and on Instagram at hashtag Mary Elaine, stone garden dilemmas, delights, and discoveries, as produced by Alex Bartling. Thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch, and always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.