Ep 248 - Healing After Winter: In the Garden—and in Life

After a harsh winter, Mary Stone reflects on healing in the garden and in life—sharing spring pruning tips, plant care insights, and a humorous tale of “hotdog flies”—all woven with a gentle reminder to slow down, notice beauty, and make room for joy.

Link to the Companion Post: Healing After Winter: In the Garden—and in Life

Links to related Podcasts and Posts: 

Ep. 92: The Secret Life of Pinecones

Ep 155. Spacing Plants and Splendid Smokebush

Blog Post: Rejuvenation Pruning & Smokebush

Blog post: Remedies for Boxwood Leaf Miner 

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I'd love to hear your garden and nature stories, as well as your thoughts on topics for future podcast episodes. You can email me at AskMaryStone@gmail.com.   

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook and Instagram #MaryElaineStone.

You can also listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and your favorite podcast app.

Thank you for sharing the Garden of Life,
 Mary Stone
Columnist & Garden Designer

More about the Podcast and Column:

 Welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries.

 It's not only about gardens; it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learned from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other. We have lots to talk about.

Thanks for tuning in, Mary Stone 
Garden Dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com
Direct Link to Podcast Page

Transcript

Ep 248 - Healing After Winter: In the Garden—and in Life

Sat, Apr 11, 2026 10:17PM • 12:33

SPEAKERS

Mary Stone, Speaker 1

Mary Stone  00:00

 Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary stone, and welcome to garden dilemmas, delights and discoveries. It's not only about gardens, it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other, we have lots to talk about.

Mary Stone  00:25

Hello there. It's Mary stone on a very chilly screen porch, a few days after Easter. I want to thank those who reached back after our last chat, especially those who shared kind words and wishes for heart healing. It means more than I can say, and I send the same right back to you if you are growing through a difficult season of your own.

Mary Stone  00:48

You likely hear Jolie burying herself in my bean bag chair. There she goes again. There's a sunny spot in the corner, and it's warming her up, and it warms my heart to see her do that. Heart-healing leads to this week's story about healing in the gardens from winter wounds, which we experienced far more this year. And it starts like this.

Mary Stone  01:11

Hello, fellow lovers of all things green, this past winter left its mark. Heavy snows, stretches of single-digit temperatures, and winds brought more damage than usual. Now, as I walk through the garden, I see the evidence of winter burn, broken branches, and plants struggling to find their footing again. But also, I see signs of hope. The large Holly here, long before I arrived, was recently transplanted. She is a beauty, berries and all, but her leaves are almost black from the winter winds. The lower branches are still green, though the ones covered by the snow, a gift, the snow provided.

Mary Stone  01:54

Transplant shock is inevitable in such moves, which is why I rely on a seaweed extract to support recovery. I'll continue feeding all the transplants moved during the fall front garden renovation with my go-to every few weeks as spring unfolds, to help their roots recover.

Mary Stone  02:14

Nearby hellebores, gifted from my dear friend Marty Carson's garden, are blooming with soft pink faces emerging through last year's leaves. I'll wait to trim back the old foliage until beneficial insects have had their chance to emerge, even in clean-up timing matters.

Speaker 1  02:35

Spring also brings pruning decisions. A helpful rule of thumb is to prune non-flowering evergreen and deciduous shrubs in early spring. For flowering shrubs, wait until after they bloom. Boxwoods can be pruned almost any time of the growing season, but resist the urge to prune too late in the season, and that is true of all plants, because new growth won't have time to harden off before winter, which can lead to damage.

Mary Stone  03:03

 My smoke Bush, cotinus cagageria, is calling for attention. When rejuvenating I selectively reduce the canopy by about a third, cutting just above growth nodes or removing entire limbs cleanly at the branch collar, careful, thoughtful pruning keeps them full and thriving. I want to mention this, though, because I learned this from one of you, that some are highly allergic to the foliage on smoke bush. I had no idea that could give some folks a terrible rash, as the fuzzy leaves of some viburnum do to me. Hence, the need for long sleeves and gloves when tending to them.

Mary Stone  03:42

 It's true that when plants are properly spaced, you won't need to prune them. The rule of thumb in garden design is to space plants half the width at maturity for trees and shrubs, and the width at maturity for herbaceous plants, such as perennials and ground covers, gives plants plenty of room to be who they are. However, sometimes we wish to have certain beauties and tighter spots so we can adore them. Then, careful haircuts are needed.

Speaker 1  04:10

I've also been enjoying a bit of early-season creative fun. My beloved Mother Earth face pot, gifted years ago by my first clients, is adorned with forsythia branches for hair. Forsythia isn't native, and I wouldn't plant it anew, but since it's here, I appreciate its cheerful early bloom, and if those branches root, I just may plant them along the property edge where they suit the landscape. There's a balance between honoring what is and choosing what comes next for a native alternative to Forsythia? I love northern Spice Bush, Lindera benzoin, sometimes called forsythia in the wilds, with its soft yellow flowers, fragrant leaves, and brilliant fall color.

Mary Stone  04:57

A staple decoration of Mother Earth's seasonal headdress is two beech tree branches lassoed into a cross. Pansies provide a colorful accent above the bangs of the dry Japanese forest grass, which is hakonakloa. While not a native plant, I love the tawny gold color over winter and how the new growth pushes out the old, just like it does in us. Carex, commonly called sedge, is a native option, though many tend to stay evergreen, so I'd miss the golden hair highlights of fall and winter.

Speaker 1  05:32

Speaking of; while walking through the woods, I notice that the ferns fronds are curled up ready to unfold. I love how they coil perfectly before unfurling. I'm planning to buy flats of native sedge. The one that is native here is Carex pennsylvanica, to add to the shaded areas of my woodland, to join the ferns. They grow about a foot tall. They can handle dry to wet soil, and they naturalize. With any luck, maybe it will out compete the invasive stilt grass taking over the forest floors. For sure, the Evergreen foliage will be a lovely addition. It's a hopeful experiment, one of many. 

Mary Stone  06:14

There's a white pine that volunteered in one of my gardens that I intend to move, as well as bouncing baby Hemlock trees, offspring of the two grand hemlocks near the house that sadly were removed a few years ago. Where did the White Pines come from? Having no others nearby, likely from the pine cones I used in my window boxes five years ago. I gathered them from the library parking lot. And here we are with new baby plants emerging.

Mary Stone  06:44

It's fascinating, actually, how pine cones propagate. And I encourage you to listen to episode 92, The Secret Life of Pine Cones. I'll put a link in the show notes.

Mary Stone  06:56

I look forward to seeing when the native perennial cimicifuga racemosa, also called bugbane, snake root, or fairy candles, begins to emerge. They serve as Mother Earth's hair. During the growing season, I planted the ones I used last year in a shade garden. They can grow up to eight feet tall. Their plumes are almost six to 24 inches high, but mine tend to be in more of the four-foot range when they're in flower. And the wild geranium is a wonderful ground cover. The botanical name is Geranium maculatum. It's also called spotted cranes and is beginning to leaf out with deeply lobed leaves that will bloom pink later in the spring.

Speaker 1  07:38

As I move through the garden, noting emerging Peony and the sturdy Joe Pye weed stems I will cut back and perhaps turn into Sweet Pea trellises. I find myself reflecting on something deeper. It's easy this time of year to focus on what needs fixing, what didn't survive, what must be moved, and what needs tending. We do the same in our lives, especially in difficult seasons; we can become consumed by what feels broken or missing. For me, this Easter carried a sense of absence of loved ones, and yet it also brought gifts, a church visit with neighbors who have become friends, and the celebration of my dearest friend and singing partner, Ken's birthday. There is always something to be grateful for. Perhaps the garden reminds us not to rush towards fixing everything at once. Instead, we take one small step at a time. We tend to what we can, we notice what is already beautiful in our lives and in nature, and in so doing, something within us begins to heal. Garden dilemmas? AskMarysStone.com.

Mary Stone  08:54

Before I sign off, I have to share a little garden moment that makes me smile just thinking about it. It's about the boxwoods we were talking about earlier. I will be tending to a lot of them, I'm sure, this spring, because of the winter burn. But a former neighbor of mine had a dilemma, and it was boxwood that was hissing, no kidding. She called them hot dog flies. I'd never heard that term, but it's far more memorable than the boxwood leaf miner name. She told me that they were hissing as I said, and sure enough, if you listen closely at the right time of year, they make the most funny, hilarious little hissing sound, not exactly what you would expect from a quiet little evergreen. It's one of those moments in the garden that reminds you not to take things too seriously, although the dilemma can be quite serious-  and I'll put a link in the show notes to the blog post on Remedies for Boxwood Leaf Miner,

09:52

Even in the midst of pests, pruning, and winter damage, there's plenty of room for curiosity, even a bit of laughter. Because gardens like life aren't meant to be perfect. They're meant to be lived in, experimented with, sometimes puzzled over, and sometimes we're tending wounds, cutting back what didn't make it, helping something recover.

10:16

Other times, we're making hairdos out of forsythia branches for a Mother Earth pot. Both matter, maybe especially the second, because somewhere along the way, we forget that tending a garden and living life isn't just about fixing things. It's about playing and living in joy. It's about noticing the way a fern unfurls like a delicate pastry, and how a volunteer pine shows up uninvited and feels like a gift. Or how something as simple as a flower in bloom can stop you in your tracks.

10:53

Even the so-called problems, like hot-dog flies, have a way of inviting us to look closer, to learn to engage. And maybe that's the lesson that everything needs to be solved all at once. It's enough to tend a little, learn a little, and smile a little more along the way. So as you head into your garden this week and into your daily routine, give yourself permission to do just that. Notice what's beautiful, and don't forget to play, because healing in the gardens and in life comes not just from what we fix, but from what we allow ourselves to enjoy.

11:35

Just as I enjoy visiting with you each week, I can't thank you enough for the time together. I hope you've enjoyed it, and if so, please share the podcast with a friend or two so more can join us in learning and growing in this garden of life. Our community is growing, and for that, I am so grateful and grateful for all the correspondence you share with me and just the joy of our visits each week. Have a beautiful day, and I look forward to seeing you next time on the screen porch. 

12:02

You can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at GardenDilemmas.com and on Instagram at hashtag Mary Elaine Stone. Garden Dilemmas, Delights and Discoveries is produced by Alex Bartling. Thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch, and always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.