Ep 255. Growing Belonging in the Garden of Life
Sat, Jun 06, 2026 9:01PM • 10:35
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
Garden Dilemmas, nature inspirations, healing, belonging, lesson of the leaf, Bill's wisdom, Polinskill River, interconnectedness, relationships, vegetable gardens, radish greens, client projects, screen porch, screen trees, unexpected growth.
SPEAKERS
Mary Stone
Mary Stone 00:00
Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. I'm Mary Stone, and welcome to Garden Dilemmas, Delights, and Discoveries. It's not only about gardens, it's about nature's inspirations, about grasping the glories of the world around us, gathering what we learn from Mother Nature, and carrying these lessons into our garden of life. So, let's jump in, in the spirit of learning from each other, we have lots to talk about.
Mary Stone 00:26
Hello, there. It's Mary Stone on a glorious screen porch. It was a chilly morning, but it's getting already into the low 80s. Hard to believe we're already in early June. I want to thank those who reached back after our last chat. As I listened to the episode myself, I found myself smiling because I mentioned how much I appreciate the growing awareness in our community of how nature and gardens help heal and grow our lives, but then I had an aha moment I wanted to share today that became a column topic. It sprouted from another opportunity to submit a book proposal to Hay House Publishing. The proposal is due tomorrow, so I'm on a mission to polish and resubmit it with a new twist, not a change in direction exactly, but a deeper understanding of what the journey has been about all along, and it starts like this.
Mary Stone 01:14
Hello, fellow lovers of all things green. It's funny how often we think we know what gardens and nature are teaching us only to discover later that they had something else in mind all along. For more than a decade, I've been working on a book inspired by the wisdom my brother Bill shared before he passed away. You may know the story. It was during a particularly difficult season of my life. Out of the blue, Bill called. Never had he phoned in the middle of a work day, but he sensed my sadness. I felt comforted by my soulful twins listening, and the familiar sound of his breath. Bill asked if I had water nearby. Watch a leaf move through the water, he said. None of us has control over the current, a parallel to the ebbs and flows in our lives, our goal is to trust and live calmly and serenely, rather than resist the flow like a leaf in the water.
Mary Stone 02:11
After our call, I walked along the Polinskill River and watched a leaf dance through the current, lingering briefly near rocks before continuing downstream as I followed its journey, peace came over me. It was time to let go. Bill's wisdom became what I call the lesson of the leaf. It helped me through a divorce, and later through losing Bill himself, followed by the long goodbye of our mother with dementia.
Mary Stone 02:40
For years I believed the book was about healing from loneliness and loss. Certainly, those themes weave throughout the pages. Like many people, I have experienced seasons of feeling alone, even while surrounded by family, friends, clients, and faithful four paws. But while revisiting years of columns and podcast episodes, recently something surprising emerged. The focus shifted, or perhaps it finally revealed itself. Observing nature and tending gardens can help heal and grow our lives. That's true, but perhaps the deeper lesson is how they do so, by reminding us that we are part of something larger, part of a whole, part of one garden of life.
Mary Stone 03:28
A forest may appear to be a collection of individual trees, yet beneath the soil, roots and fungal networks share resources and information. A tree standing alone is not truly alone at all leaves seem to be separate when they drift from branches in autumn, yet as they decompose, they return nutrients to the soil that sustains the very tree from which they came, and so they remain one with the tree. The cycle continues year after year.
Mary Stone 04:00
Plants we admire in our gardens depends on relationships too. Pollinators, soil microbes, neighboring plants, sunlight, water, and seasons all play a role. Nothing grows by itself. Neither do we. As I reflect on 14 years of writing this column and sharing discoveries through the podcast, I realize the same lesson keeps appearing. The lesson was never only about healing. The lesson was about remembering that we belong. Belonging doesn't mean life unfolds as we wish all the time. Gardens experience drought, storms, pests, and unexpected losses. Relationships change. change, seasons end. Yet nature continually reminds us that we are part of something larger than ourselves.
Mary Stone 04:50
That is why time spent amongst the trees restores our hearts. The woods don't ask us to prove our worth. A rescue dog grows to trust us and love us. They don't care about our degrees or accomplishments. Neither does the garden. They merely welcome us into a relationship.
Mary Stone 05:10
During the final days of his life, after years of studying philosophy, spirituality, tai chi, and the natural world, Bill shared what he believed was the most important thing he had learned. I figured it out. He said it's all about love. It occurs to me that is another way of saying we belong. Our living world has been whispering that same message for centuries. We are connected, we matter. We were never alone. Thank you, kind readers, and our delightful local paper for sharing the garden of life all these years. It matters. Garden dilemmas? AskMaryStone.com.
Mary Stone 05:55
You know, as I listened to what I just recorded, I realized my voice got a little emotional, and I'm going to keep it that way, because it was an emotional awareness when I woke up and realized what the lesson was all along. We do indeed belong, and I'm grateful for you, my kind listeners, for the 255 chats we've had on the screen porch. It means so much to me. Unbelievable, how time has gone forward, and all the growing that has taken place.
Mary Stone 06:25
Speaking of growing, I want to share that I began phase two of my vegetable garden this week. Green beans are planted, zucchini, cucumbers, and I put some sunflower seeds next to those cucumbers, thinking maybe they will climb on the sturdy stems of those sunflowers, we shall see. I love when those kinds of partnerships in the garden work out, one plant helping another thrive. While preparing the beds, I spent time removing weeds and reclaiming territory from that determined character known as Creeping Charlie. I don't mind you in the lawn, Charlie, but please stay out of my vegetable garden. Yes, I admit I talk to my plants, don't you?
Mary Stone 07:07
One of the highlights this week was harvesting my first radishes, and for the first time ever, I cooked the greens. I sauteed them with garlic, mushrooms, olive oil, salt, and pepper, and Italian seasonings, and they were delicious. I've shared the experience with several people who had no idea radish greens were edible, although I must say, if you're buying them from the grocery store, make sure they are organic, and you know they were so much better right out of the garden. That is one of the benefits of growing your own veggies wherever you can, which, by the way, you can do in pots, so even if you don't have a yard, you can do some on your patio. It's such fun watching a garden become food, and then sharing the discovery with others. My carrots and beets are growing beautifully too. The first time I've ever grown them, the foliage alone is worth planting. And yes, beet greens are edible. Now I'm curious about carrot greens. Do any of you eat them? I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me through my askmarystone.com website.
Mary Stone 08:08
Meanwhile, despite my best intentions, I haven't gotten around to mowing the lawn. I've been trying to keep up with things, but between client projects and rallying to finish the book proposal, tomorrow will mark two weeks since I've cut it, and you know what, it's not a bad thing. The clover seeds I sowed where construction disturbed the lawn are beginning to sprout, and the taller grass helps shade the soil, holding moisture and creating a more welcoming environment for the insects, especially during this dry spring. And it struck me that there may be another lesson there. Sometimes growth happens because something else creates shelter. Young plants benefit from the protection of larger plants. Forest seedlings begin their lives beneath the canopy of mature trees, not because they are weak, but because they are growing. Perhaps people are like that too. At different times in our lives, we find ourselves sheltered by kindness, wisdom, and encouragement, and the love of others, until we are strong enough to stretch toward the light ourselves. And during this transition of my life, I want to thank so many of you that have helped me, and you know who you are, including you, kind listeners. And then one day we become the shelter for someone else.
Mary Stone 09:24
The cycle continues, just like the leaves, just like the forest, just like the garden of life. So, thank you for joining me today. I always enjoy our time together. I have to get down the road a piece. I have a client, we're clearing out and putting in some screen trees. She has this most unique property hidden behind a highway, and she has goats and everything. So we were doing something very special. Maybe it'll be a story someday, but meanwhile, enjoy the wonder that surrounds you, nurture what you wish to grow, and remember. Remember, you belong. Enjoy the beautiful day. Y
Mary Stone 10:04
ou can follow Garden Dilemmas on Facebook or online at Garden dilemmas.com and on Instagram at hashtag Mary Elaine Stone. Garden Dilemmas: Delights and Discoveries is produced by Alex Bartling. Thanks for coming by. I look forward to chatting again from my screen porch, and always remember to embrace the unexpected in this garden of life. Have a great day.
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